02x06 - Keep Their Heads Ringing

[bunniefuu]

This right here... Wash this out.

I think it's still got some life to it.

Come on, cuzzo.

I didn't know you had mad
mechanic skills like that.

Believe it or not, man,
I learned all of this

from my first high school girlfriend.

- Get the f*ck outta here. Word?
- For real, boy.

Big Marge, man. She was 300 pounds, man.

- Could change a flat tire without a jack.
- 300, though?

Mm-hmm.

I don't know if I can handle
all of that, cuzzo. That's a lot.

Can't go wrong with a
girl big and strong, man.

- We used to bang everywhere.
- Really?

You talkin' about, like, in public?

- You know what I'm sayin'?
- No, everywhere on her.

Yeah, man.

All I had to do was lift a fold.

- What?
- You know what's in there?

- What's that?
- Gold.

Well, call me a leprechaun.
I'm about to go dig.

You know what? It's
this right here, man.

This is cool, man.

You know, I really appreciate

you teaching me all this stuff, man,

you know, 'cause I ain't never...

Let me tell you something, Bobby.

Everybody needs
somebody to talk to, man.

Only prison could keep me from you, man.

This is a safe space.

I want you to let it out.

I'm just sayin', you know,

I ain't never opened up to nobody.

You know the codes of the street.

You can't be in touch
with your feelings.

But ever since you got
out, man, it's been...

You know, I been feelin'...

Shay.

Yeah, Shay-Shay, what up?

You need me to come over
and help with the kids?

Wow. You ain't never
asked me that before.

- I'm there.
- So, I was just...

Oh, like, you just gonna
break out like that?

What happened to only
prison was keeping you away?

Sorry, Bobby, my
biological kids need me.

But I'm just sayin'...

You're a grown man, man.

Figure some stuff out on your own.

Look, I don't know what this is!

Well, Google it!

"Abandonment issues."

Oh, that's deep.

- Josh.
- Mm-hmm?

You're a white girl in your 20s.

Which one of these makes you want
to buy our new athletic line?

Uh, all right, white girl I can do,

but it's been a long time since my 20s.

This one?

Cool.

Oh, that must be Tray.

Hey, uh, babe, I know you're
slammed with Fashion Week,

but I really don't think I
need Tray's help with the kids.

Oh, wow. That's a lot of stuff.

- Yeah, I guess I could pretend to need him.
- Mm-hmm.

- Josh!
- What's up?

I'm good, man. Ready and willing.

Okay, you two,

I need you guys to go ahead
and go over this schedule

and figure out who's gonna do what,

where they're gonna do
it, when they gonna do it,

and who's gonna get it done, all right?

- Mm-hmm.
- You guys have a good one.

- Bye.
- Mwah!

Man, this looks like how murderers

- keep track of they victims.
- Yeah. Let's do this.

I will take Amira

to her afternoon tutoring session.

You take Shahzad to Supercuts.

- Sooga, you got jokes.
- Come on.

I mean, I know it's not the
coolest place in the world,

but he likes it.

We get our hair cut together.

- That's cool.
- It is fine for you,

but no self-respecting black man

would get his haircut
from a place like that.

You can't speak for your entire race.

- That's...
- I can and I do...

except for them ones
that's mixed with Asian.

I like them, but, you know,
that's some new sh*t to me.

I'm gonna run him on
down to the barbershop

I used to go to, Howard's.

I ain't been back there
since I came home anyway.

Really? Why?

You know, my man, Jaybird
at the halfway house?

He be hookin' me up.
You know what I'm sayin'?

Till the cops came and
confiscated all his razors

for evidence in a cold case.

Man, back in the days,

Howard's was the heart
and soul of Brooklyn.

That's where you went to find out

what was the word on the streets.

I ain't been here in so long.

Wow! I remember when you was a kid.

Aw, man. Chico!

- What up, baby?
- What up, baby?

Is that Tray Biz-ag?

- Howie How! What up, baby?
- Aw, man.

Yo! Give me some.

And this has got to be
either your clone or your son.

This is my seed right here, Shahzad.

- What's up, little man?
- Hey, what's up, man?

Hey, let me tell you,

your dad was the only dude tough enough

that, when I cut his hair, it cut back.

I just want to give my son
a real barbershop experience.

Hey, listen, no problem.

But we not just a
barbershop anymore, Tray.

Now we're a gentleman's salon.

- Gentleman's salon?
- Yeah.

Like, this is where I watch
strippers get their hair washed?

Things changed while
you were locked up, man.

But this is an institution,

and if it ain't broke, why fix it?

I got to keep up with the competition.

Look, I even brought
in some new barbers.

Naw, Howard, I ain't
trusting my son's hairline

with no dude from the Pringles can.

Nah, I got you, man.

Your hairline will be so sharp,

you ain't gonna be able to get past TSA.

Give me two seconds to finish
up this customer, all right?

All right.

See, this used to be my spot.

Now it's your spot, too.

- Yo, Tray.
- Felony.

What's up, man? What's going on?

- What up, Shahzad?
- What's up?

Oh, man, you look a mess.

I guess we both gotta
start paying for haircuts

now that Jaybird's officially
a "person of interest."

Why he like razor blades so much?

- The heart wants what it wants.
- Mm.

Anyways, it's the weekend.

It's time to get it right.

Even made an appointment
with these Vietnamese ladies

to get my feet hooked up.

_

Hell no!

It's a little game we play.

Anyway, in the meantime,

maybe one of y'all can hook me up.

- I'm booked till February.
- sh*t, I'll cut you

before I cut you. Beat it!

Oh, my bad.

It's even now.

Thanks.

Uh, can I have everyone's attention?

I'd like to thank you all
so much for working so hard.

And the good news is,

Copeland's might let us go ahead

and do something more couture next year.

Who's with me?

All right. Let's do this.

Growing up in the projects,

there's one of two options, man...

The post office or prison,

and I do not look good
in them mailman shorts.

But I'm gonna flip it on the
prison system with my food truck.

That's right. I'll make
your taste buds my b*tch.

Yo, my sweets gonna make
your teeth do a cavity search,

and not with no prison guard
with a little flashlight.

Let me tell you somethin'.

When I pull my food truck up
in front of this barbershop,

y'all better not be cheap.

Dig down deep.

If you can pay $7 for a latte,

you can spend $3 on the coffee

that been filtered through
some drawers and an old doo-rag.

This is the barbershop.

All family.

I'm so happy to be home.

The longest day ever.

Just want to lay down.

How was the schedule
and everything with Tray?

- How'd that work out?
- I don't know.

It's okay, I guess.

What's wrong with you?

Uh, 11 unanswered calls?

I was gonna call again,
but 12 unanswered calls

seemed like a... a
bridge too far for me.

I'm sorry, but it was a long day.

- It was crazy at work, okay?
- Crazy?

But I'm home now.

- Mm-hmm.
- What was the emergency?

Ew.

A d*ck pic?

That don't even look like yours.

- Why you got that on your phone?
- It's not mine.

This is not my phone.

It's Amira's phone.

What?!

Okay.

- Yeah.
- Okay. Okay.

Okay. Oh, God.

Okay, okay.

Are you... Is this all you're gonna say?

- What did you say to her?
- Nothing.

I sent her to her room,

and I told her you'd talk to her.

- Why?
- Why?

'Cause isn't this a classic
mother-daughter conversation?

I can't.

She's still my little baby girl.

Oh, good. Y'all here.

So, I've been thinking.

Instead of going to college,

I decided I want to be a barber.

Dibs on that one.

What did you and Tray
do to my kids today?

Hey, kiddo. What you doing?

Oh, I'm just playing this game,

- but, like, if you...
- That's cool.

Hey, uh, you know that whole, uh,

not-going-to-college thing,

- did you really mean that?
- Yeah.

Tray took me to this dope
barbershop today, right?

- Mm-hmm.
- So, like, just to hang out

at a place like that,

as your job, like, would be the best.

Yeah, I just...

Just feel like, you know, being a barber

would kind of be a
waste of your talents.

But you and Mom always said

you support anything we want to be.

We lied, son.

We lied to you.

Oh, wow.

- That's messed up.
- Mm-hmm, I know.

Good talk.

- Hey, girl.
- You're still here?

I thought you had to work
all weekend for Fashion Week.

Uh, yeah, I decided to
take the day off work.

I thought that maybe we
should hang out together.

You know, maybe get our hair did,

just hang out as girls, girl.

- Us?
- Mm-hmm.

- Together?
- Mm-hmm.

- Me with you?
- Yeah.

We could catch up on some girl chitchat.

You know, hang out as girls, girl.

Why do you keep saying "girl"?

I-I don't know. Just
put your coat on, girl.

Come on.

We're just gonna make
one quick little stop.

I made you an appointment
at Dr. Sumen's.

Why am I going to see your OB/GYN?

No reason.

I just... think that it's time

that we get you started on, um...

birth control.

Birth control?

Why?

You got boys sending you pictures

- of their ding-a-ling in your phone!
- Oh, my...

And so...

... I figured that's what you gonna need.

A boy didn't send that.
Jessica Peters did.

Why would a girl send
you pictures like that?

Because it's for the "d*ck Report."

The... What in the hell is that?!

From now on, can we both agree on

using the word "ding-a-ling"?

It was just a joke, okay?

Jessica Peters collects
the pictures from the boys,

and then, the girls compare
them in the "d*ck Report."

Well, Amira, I don't want
you lookin' at nasty pictures

of boys' ding-a-lings.

And this Jessica Peters
sounds like a real sl*t,

- if you ask me.
- She is!

Mom, I'm still a virgin, okay?

I'm not... Ugh! Having sex.

Whew! Thank you.

Thank you. My baby is pure.

- Oh, quick question.
- Uh-huh?

So, is giving oral still considered sex?

Is what?!

It was a question.

I don't actually do it.

Well, next time, maybe
you should lead with that.

Yeah, look at it, observe it.

- Right, man.
- Don't cut it till you're sure.

Don't clip it till you sure.

I promise you,
Aaron, you about to pick up

mad Puerto Rican chicks.

Hey, what's all this?

Kid got real talent.

Aaron's letting me practice
my barber skills on him.

Uh-huh, yeah, but, uh...

hey, I thought we settled this.

I was gonna let the barber
thing go like you told me to,

but Tray and Bobby bought
me these nice clippers,

and I gots to say, I
really like cutting.

Well, I didn't really buy the clippers.

I got it from my man that, you
know, cut at the funeral home.

Tray, I kind of assumed
that we were gonna be

on the same page about
this barber thing.

What's wrong with being a barber?

Growing up, that was one of
the most prestigious positions

in the neighborhood.

You had the teacher, the preacher,

and then the barber, and
then, on top of all that,

you had the dude that
could dunk over a car.

I get it. I get all of it. But come on.

I mean, we're talking
about my son here, so...

- This is how the boy used to look.
- Mm.

Yeah, Shahzad gave him a haircut.

It's not a religious calling, Tray.

Josh, please don't tell
me that you are jelly

'cause I introduced him to
something I was interested in.

That's ridiculous.

- That is ridiculous.
- 'Cause that would be petty.

I don't... I would... I'm not...

That's... That's ridiculous.

Listen, I know how to
settle this, all right?

We're gonna let the experts decide.

What does that mean?

Everybody, let's go. Let's go.

Transform and roll out. Let's roll.

d*ck pics?

Somebody's sending you d*ck pics?

It's nothing. It's nothing.

No, I want to hear Ms. Ashley's opinion.

Go ahead, Val.

I mean, you seem a little
young for that, that's all.

Kids nowadays aren't like we used to be.

We need to be grateful

they don't have our sexual hang-ups.

Can we please change the subject?

- Who sent who a d*ck pic?
- Oh.

Oh, some boy sent a
picture of his junk to her.

No, it was a girl. Jessica Peters.

Jessica Peters. She sounds white.

Mm-hmm.

- Okay, that's r*cist.
- Maybe.

But you still go to that fancy school?

It's not that fancy.

The girls there think that
blowjobs ain't even sex.

- What the hell?
- What?! That's crazy!

Amira, you not doing that, are you?

No. Oh, my goodness.

Never do that. It's against God.

And the only reason they
even invented oral sex

was so white people
could keep black folks

from procreating and
taking over the world.

Now, when you're older, it's different.

I don't let my husband leave
for work without hooking him up.

I want him going out the door on E.

That's how I know he comin' back.

Oh, girl get outta here.

Ain't nobody got time for all that.

My man be lucky if he
get a cup of coffee.

Now, listen, don't listen to them.

When you are older, you
will decide for yourself

what you want and what you don't want.

And don't let anybody
pressure you into nothin'.

Just pretend I'm not here.

Hey, listen, that white
girl from your school,

now, she can be a h*

and still grow up to be president.

- Mm-hmm.
- But not us.

If you are even rumored

to have fooled around with
a boy in the boiler room,

folks will talk about it

like you ain't ever done
sh*t else in your life.

People will bring it up years later.

And on Facebook, instead of saying,

"Hey, Val, heard you opened
up a beautiful salon,"

they write, "Hey,
'Kneepads', how you been?"

All right, I think that's enough.

I think that's enough. Yeah.

I just came here to
show you what my son did.

Behold.

Ah.

Oh.

Okay.

- Not bad.
- You really hooked him up.

All right. I see, son.

I see you got a little skills, man.

Nah, y'all don't get it, man.

This was his first cut.

- Word?
- First cut?

- I don't know about...
- That's impressive, man.

- That's... No. Yeah.
- No, I don't...

- He can't even see over the chair.
- He too small.

- Come on, man.
- Feet low! He's dainty.

Who taught you?

Nobody.

My son is a Jedi master
with them clippers.

You can leave, Aaron.
Thanks for coming down, baby.

I don't know where I am.

Google Maps, Aaron!

His first cut. What you think?

I don't know, man.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Y'all think he could be that good?

I mean, that was the last time

I heard of someone starting that young.

What? What is it?

The Legend of Siz.

What's that?

Siz was the greatest barber

in the borough of Brooklyn.

He was my mentor.

It all started back in 1986.

One day, this guy comes
running into the shop.

He's clearly distressed, right?

Siz, you gotta help me.
I got a show tonight.

My boy was linin' me up,
his hand slipped, and...

Man, I can't go on stage like this.

Thanks, Siz. You the man.

You're welcome, Big Daddy Kane.

After his show that night,

Big Daddy Kane's album
shot straight up the charts.

The rest is history.

- Who's Big Daddy Kane?
- Shh.

Man, that's nothin' compared
to what I saw Siz do.

When I was in junior high,

I'll never forget it.

Okay, I'm starting to
doubt some of these details.

But continue.

Yeah. I knew him, too.

We did time together. He was an OG.

In fact, I'm the one
he gave his last cut to.

- He did great things.
- Yeah.

Things that no one has done since.

- Word.
- Maybe that's because he's...

And you, too, have that gift.

- Mm-hmm.
- This is ridiculous.

My son is gonna be
more than just a barber.

What...

So, what you sayin', white boy?

Ay, you disrespectin'
Siz's legacy, yo.

Well, I wouldn't say that.

Siz's dream wasn't to be a barber.

It wasn't?

Nah.

He told me one night he
dreamed of being a surgeon,

but he didn't have any surgery
role models in the hood.

So he used his gifted
hands for something

he had access to... cutting hair.

No disrespect,

but it wasn't my dream
to be a barber, son.

I wanted to be a music producer, yo.

I got beats.

Truth be told, I always
wanted to go to college.

Always wanted to go to an
all-black college and play lacrosse.

Truth be told.

Yeah, man, the barber's
life ain't the end goal,

unless you gonna own your own shop.

- I netted $200K last year.
- Really?

Oh, now you gonna be on board, Josh?

Oh, come on! Money's still important.

I want him to be able
to take care of himself.

- See, that is the difference between me and you.
- What?

You want him to make a lot of money.

I want him to live his dreams.

No, that's not what I meant.

Shouldn't this be my
decision and mine only?

Yeah. Yeah, it should.

True. So, what do you want to do?

Seriously?

Y'all got time for all of this,

but I can't get a chair?

I know how to settle this.

Yo, make sure you get
my taper, little man.

It's gotta be tight.

- What's happening?
- Shh!

This is the time for the blend.

It's the hardest part.

Come on. You got it, Little Tray.

The gift is strong on this one.

Tell him to remove the guards.

What?! I can't tell him that, Siz!

He won't have any control!

He'll just have to go on...

Feel.

Feel.

Tell him, Tray.

Shahzad...

remove the guard.

What?! What are you talking about?!

Let go.

He's not ready!

I am so scared.

Everything'll be fine.

Remove the guards!

Remove the guards!

This is free, right?

_

_

_

_

_

I actually found a
few four-year colleges

that have barber education programs

so that he could take
business classes, too.

Man, you ain't got to go
to college to get no degree.

This scar is my bachelor
from the streets.

- You want to see my doctorate?
- No.

What is all this?

Hey, nothin'. Just some
successful co-parenting.

Yeah, it's kind
of our thing, you know?

Oh, you guys have a thing now?

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, we got a thing.

- Dudes can have a dude thing.
- Oh.

Hey. There's the barber genius himself.

People gonna be like, "Siz who?"

I decided I don't want
to be barber no more.

What? What are you talking about?

You have a gift.

Well, there's this
really hot girl at school,

and she's into me.

Her name's Jessica Peters,
and she loves music.

So I think I'm gonna just be a musician.

Yeah.

Jessica Peters, huh?

I heard him.

Hey, hey.

Hey, Shay, where you going?

To break Amira's phone.

She'll thank me later.

Man, he pulled out a flute.

You can't make no
money with a flute, man.