01x17 - Presents

[bunniefuu]

Mike Miller I don't know how we got his

own TV show and I don't know why talker

likes this guy so much oh gee an

attention-starved smart aleck who makes

millions making fun of people now what

about that would appeal to Tucker look

Mike soap-on-a-rope

I'm gonna love it so you guys do this

every year huh yeah Oh son says we've

treated presents on the night before

birthdays like forever it's great though

I mean we know each other like inside

out I guess it comes with being born on

the same day we always totally know what

to get each other

she is impossible to buy for No maybe

you should try another catalog ah one

day left

so what's the big deal anyway the big

deal is that every year the night before

our birthdays Becca nitrate presents I

mean sort of like a tradition right but

the problem is I'm stuck because she

hates everything I give her oh no about

hate come on when was the last time you

saw her enjoying that fake vomit gift

set I gave her but this year it's going

to be different and I mean it a rubber

chicken

right

she gets my cello he gets couch she gets

he gets good I get my child and I know

that's cheering please thank you yes

please

baggier Mediterranean veggie uh-huh or

Mediterranean okay okay now he'll think

I'm a pagan if I don't eat them don't

think I hate them that if I do

but I ordered two slices and I only have

enough money for one well this is your

birthday coming off paper one okay okay

it's your first thing hey happy birthday

thank you thank you I know why don't you

come by tomorrow I'll make you special

birthday sighs I'm happy really tomorrow

okay okay all right all right you have a

second

No

okay I need this really cool present

Rebecca you've got any ideas Oh a

present for a girl that's risky yeah oh

yeah take clothes for example say you're

looking for a sweater right forget it

first just try finding other size

without being too obvious and then if

you get her something that's a little

bit too big you might as well just said

hey you looked fatter

check no clothes now with jewelry you

don't have to worry about sizes and it's

a guaranteed hit well there you go

of course basically you're saying that

you're ready to get serious about the

relationship no no jewelry good thing

there's always the old standby stuffed

toys congratulations to the brand-new

licensed driver and only on your third

try oh you are so sweet

I know you have your driver's license

now but that doesn't mean you can have

the car anytime you want I have things

to do what things things hello Tucker

Becca's upstairs actually I came to see

you something wrong you look twitchy

don't be kind mother he looks freakish

actually desperate how can I do our

tradition thing tonight right we

retrieved the present right absolutely

no idea I'll help you Tucker

I'll Drive me to the mom it's Rebecca

okay mom

have a feeling I'm gonna regret it

bonehead using those flames

there's place that look good there

there's two places look look okay chop I

give you some hi you are never gonna

guess what I'm doing cars take run at

you

don't be door knob then take me to a

store fine now get out hardware heaven

what am I supposed to do buy her a

hammer

anyway

take me to the mall can we please just

park the car great alright I erased

people please

oh I don't believe it

catchy right and Mediterranean

oh man I'm late I guess I'm done G is

going to k*ll me Becca

good she's like - saved

it's delicious well thanks I spent all

day making it just for you

and 200 other customers actually

damn pizza how many do it well I'm

waiting for the band to take off hey are

you ok maybe you should just sit and

catch your breath unless you have

somewhere to be

nope

no plans yes I do

I know where I'm supposed to be but

Tucker is just Tucker and Gooch's Tucker

would understand I mean since when did

you take our birthday seriously anyway

I can't believe it

after all that stood up

by the ants

thank you so much um did I mention that

it was the best piece I've ever had

Oh once or twice yeah okay well thank

you

really it's okay really okay

you like Tucker's present yeah

the best present he's ever given me you

know what I did I ditched him first

stupid pizza good serves him right

you have no idea what that present cost

me cost you I drove that little jerk all

over town and he just took off on me

when I smashed the headlight on mom's

car

you wrecked mom's car it was totally

Tucker's fault he totally distracted me

I don't know how has another drives

around with that hyper little freak in

the car yakking away and trying to jump

out mom's gonna k*ll me they don't know

yet no the car's still in the garage but

I don't have the 50 bucks to get it

fixed before they find out oh gee you

think maybe Tucker will pay for it right

oh by the way happy birthday

so was my love connection moments really

worth throwing away all that history

with Tucker I don't think so

happy guilt day to me you can have it

hello just tell her I'm shocked no tell

her I'm disappointed and just tell her

I'm not here

I'll call you back as soon as he decides

how mad he is bye

hi okay um if I asked mom to let you

have the car while you drive me

somewhere what for

I need to do something for Tucker right

like I'm gonna do another favor for him

look it's not for him okay it's for me

and if you do this I'll give you the 50

bucks and Kate sent me it's cooked and

my helmet

right right look okay I don't care what

they breathe on your planet we can't

feel the studio with de Liam oh well

maybe we can pump in a few trades as

well check it bub bucks

hi um is Mike Miller here you better

beat it this show coming to me messages

for Mike I'm gonna steam before

rehearsal

um i have this book that i wanted to

sign for a friend so can i see him for a

sec

if you want a signed autograph you can

leave your book here and pick it up on

monday

no no i need it tonight if you want an

autograph

leave your book here and pick it up on

monday okay

bye-bye late saturday night

what are you talking about no

what why not come on ellen

what's the worst that could happen uh i

could look like an idiot

i haven't given you 50 bucks yet

oh hi um

i'm ellen fisher and uh

i'm from mars one sick hello

you this was security stupid idea

i should have tried climbing through the

vents no we should alert him around the

corner

bunked him on the head and then i could

have put on a fake mustache dressed up

in his uniform

and you said my idea was stupid

thanks for trying

i guess tucker's never gonna talk to me

again

oh at least something good came out of

this

this is my fault all right okay don't

worry because i will handle everything

and and

if there's anything that i can do

no okay your insurance is gonna cover

that

right uh right

yeah yeah of course of course and and

you know if there's anything else that

uh that i could do uh

finally a gift exactly when i need it

maybe i don't deserve this kind of luck

but i'm taking it

actually there is something you could do

um

that isn't a direct line to mike miller

is it

thanks miles you have one friend i can

count on

oh are you still mad at becca huh

becca no doesn't ring a bell

yes go on open look inside look inside

come on

it it's to me how did you

forging uh scanning sorcery

oh no it's real but uh but

it's not for me

hi i didn't think you'd accept it from

me

it's okay

actually it's amazing

that's just the first part the first

part

it's late saturday night and here's the

host who's faked not fried

mike miller

thank you thank you very much ladies and

gentlemen welcome to the big program

i of course host mike miller but uh

before we get going i got to tell you

what a day i have had all because of one

young man one very uh

special young man in fact this kid is an

insurance claim waiting to happen

uh let's find him out there tucker james

are you out there someplace mr tucker

james where are you mr tucker james

we're

right there tucker come on up here come

up and uh and say hello

uh earlier today tucker's friend becca i

tried to well break into my office and

then

a little later on she and her sister

practically ran over my assistant alan

you all right alan everything okay yeah

you look wonderful allen you look great

nice to see you back in men's clothes

anyway uh alan okay don't touch uh

anyway alan the weasel that he is

surrendered to their demand which was to

let

tucker james tell a joke on the big

television program

tonight so without further ado ladies

and gentlemen

mr tucker james

go ahead kid say something funny

what

well right becca the kid's hilarious

must be his uh timing

anyway uh nice meeting you kid happy

birthday and uh

mike miller how are you nice to see you

good luck in reform school son

okay we're back in uh two minutes right

now

must be his uh timing

did you see that i need an agent

what i was so

cool i mean this has been my best

birthday he has

so you forgive me i don't think so

what why not are you kidding

i go crazy trying to find you the best

present

ever i loved it

and you go and top me again

how can i possibly forgive you