01x17 - Give and Take

[bunniefuu]

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there are many combinations of numbers

that add up to 100 but in a relationship

if it's not 50/50 it won't amount to

anything

when you share a major part of your life

with someone it's easy to take them for

granted

and unless an effort is made to consider

the other person's feelings the result

can be a disaster and that's what our

stories about on this episode of Hill a

beaver

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and can't imagine where Eddie could be I

hope he's okay oh don't worry gertrude

he's probably just gotten delayed at the

construction site why is he called well

maybe there isn't a phone there no I

know there's a payphone there

he took his bag of slugs with him

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Freddie my paternal role model is

fashionably late again like all the

usual places No thank you sweetheart we

are Eddie have you better go feed that

snake this morning he wrapped himself

around the vacuum cleaner do we have any

more fish frogs no but there's some

frozen ones in the freezer behind the

yogic push-ups

I think honey

do you think you better call the

restaurant and push the reservations

back another hour oh no need when I call

it at 10 o'clock they said that dinner

crowd was beginning to thin out bad

about this maybe we should just take a

rain check

no really feared that guy he never had a

chair yeah well the last game the chump

didn't even know which end of the pool

cue to charge the only tricky part with

dodge and a pool ba*ls on the way out of

the parking line hey love the g*ng's all

here you should have been here hours ago

fine what happened

let's make corner of the cat again and

horde we had dinner reservations at the

Blue Room tonight how could you forget

that oh he didn't forget it was on a hot

streak

yeah hey check this out

I want some Yahoo spoke you genuine

ivory been in the family for years

you are always forgetting and I'm

getting sick and tired of it

angel sweetie I know why get off track

no one in but don't I always make it up

to you

like when I forgot your birthday I

promise to take you to some swanky

dinner joint Eddie that was supposed to

be tonight hey I hate to be a party

pooper but I have an early morning mom

aerobics class so weird hey cool your

heels this'll all blow over in just a

minute

you know how I remember is Eddie I'm not

Irish so what's your Excuse

Edward don't try to change the

subject here you let us sit here

twiddling our thumbs while you are

having fun playing pool a pool is not

fun it's hard work man I've ever met

inconsiderate this pool cue is gonna be

a gift for you and you're also cheap hey

now that hurt

give me one example of how I'm cheap all

right you won't let me buy a new couch

Hey what's the big deal about new my

parents has the same couch for 25 years

I know that's it

we'll have to do this again sometime

Wally sit on this couch now tell me you

don't think that's comfy

Eddie I've makin excuses for you for 15

years and I'm I'm not gonna do it

anymore

now we are going to go to the Blue Room

without you Wally

Mary Ellen sure you're upset I don't

have to go

hey-ya bring me back a New York steak

well-done

I mean scorch it and don't order mine

until your food comes so it'll be warm

when you get home Eddie you don't

understand when I get back you better

not be here sure what a kidder

oh please no more you're spoiling me eat

up any been through a lot

yeah I guess you're right I never didn't

get my dinner last night

Oh mrs. cleaver would it be any trouble

to eat up the syrup again all right

already

oh and a little more pillows on me and I

woke up with the old cushion dad

ticketed football game yeah yeah do a

favor sure go

did you troll mr. Haskell Out Boy please

be a little patient with Eddie he's

having a tough time while he and mrs.

half will try to work things out but dad

that creep is Oliver don't call him a

creep

right now he's dark yes okay but our

guest is wearing your bathroom free

nice robe Eddie but wait a minute

I'll get your lunches hey whoa

aren't you little tykes gonna say

goodbye to your uncle Eddie which guy

split your little math drill like I

always do with Betty you got any money

great this is called liars poker your

serial numbers do your card

okay now you start what are you guys

Terry not with my gift Eddie dad all

right

wait a minute I'll trade you this is a

really good dollar for liars poker bye

guys

have a nice day yeah

I'll play it a masochist great you start

loser three fours three eight four seven

i challenge

hey one I can't believe it hi outfoxed

the Fox not so fast

Felix that was your dollar I found it in

your robe

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Oh

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I'll get it Freddie what are you doing

here she threw you out - yeah he caught

this Tsukasa actually sir Mike that's

when all of goodwill ambassador there

she finally cracked huh didn't have the

nerve to come over here and throw

herself at my feet so she sent you the

truth be told her mom doesn't know I'm

here

huh I took it upon myself to take a

quick settlement but fewer than any more

time spent alone would only strengthen

our resolve son I refuse to grovel even

if I were lonely miserable and desperate

and I'm not I would never Rob my fear

point sir it's foolish but I admire your

integrity I take that as a compliment

listen Fredrik I'm sorry that you've

become a pawn in this game but I want to

assure you that I won't allow it to

affect the well above average

relationship that you and I share thank

you the reassurance sir

perhaps it's a weekend father you'll see

fit to take me to the zoo son pop take

you to the horse races you see animals

we are natural habitat

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well honey because the yellow light

keeps the bugs away

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my guess is just my sense of fair play

hey Kelly

don't you like to run down to the corner

for a double-dip chocolate pie great hey

here's a couple of bucks get something

for yourself while you're down there so

Eddie how's the exile going just fine

look I hope you understand about not

being able to stay at my place but a

vote to vote

hey I know Mary Ellen's probably siding

with the enemy but how'd you break the

one one time it was two nothing come on

don't take it so hard

okay you won treat you to a movie

tonight thanks Wally but you don't have

to babysit me I'm a free man y'all

late Eddie Haskell is back in

circulation it's gonna be like gone

balmy

in four short day did she do this to me

yeah cuz you're a creep not just you're

responsible and insincere

you treat her like garbage it that's

beside the point

don't you see I'm miserable you gotta do

something make her take me back please

I'd like to Eddie but this is between

you and Gert you gotta help you're my

best friend

all right tell it's a lumpy - but I

don't mean it

I'll even pay you for your time cash so

you don't have to report it Eddie

Thank You Phoebe just tell her to give

me one more chance she's the only woman

who ever really loved me you imagine

anyone else who would you got a point

there look I'll do whatever she wants

I'll change all right please all right

Eddie after dinner I'll go over in fact

to Gert

you're a real towel you want stick

around and eat with that what do you

have lasagna have to get it your mom's

making steaks

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is gonna be easy okay that's only nine

good reasons I asked for ten all right

you know how he's always telling every

woman what a lovely dress she's married

in come on that's harmless does that to

make people feel good well he's never

said it to me once I like to hear it

well surely Eddie must have his good

points too

yeah he can fix the plumbing around the

house well I know that some other things

I wrote them down one third he loves you

he loves himself more Eddie will promise

to take me on and then love you'll stop

by with tickets to the threatening

messages Eddie Thawne see never invite

me enough money for a new couch he'll

buy himself a leather jacket or go on a

fishing trip with the guy what guy

invited me to that either

even to you one of his best friends and

all I am best friend and that's why I

came by tonight

asked what it would take for you to give

me one last chance

well he'd have to totally change he'd

have to be a completely different person

that just happens to look like Eddie

Kurt I honestly believe Eddie would do

anything to save his family

so come on please come over to dinner

tomorrow night

see for yourself Wally I appreciate what

you're trying to do but I just can't see

him right now I'm sorry

okay Kurt I understand you change your

mind let me know I will Wally window guy

one bit what do you say mom yeah the

lovable old rogue let's say we give him

another chance this thing stopped up

maybe one dinner wouldn't hurt mom he

won't regret this

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it's so jealous black about being

on our best behavior tonight yeah daddy

just to make sure that's my stock if you

really want to get rid of mr. Haskell

hey why aren't you kids wearing ties

what do you think this is a ride hi kid

Eddy mrs. cleaver I was just commending

the boys on their wardrobe collection

you don't look too bad yourself Betty oh

well it's a big night for me how come

you didn't dress up your wife coming

over not mine right I'm sorry I guess

I'm just a little nervous

oh you don't have to be Eddie we're all

pulling for you no idea how hard will be

I don't want to appear too anxious let

her sweat it out a few minutes look at

you you're throwing since I've last come

on Liam hi Eddie hi Gert my that's a

lovely dress you're wearing

Thank You Eddie good to see you too then

you'll take me back

don't push it I'm dirt I come on is

everything ready

Oh Gert

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put the mesh massage furnaces

buddy I think your dad did pretty good

during dinner yeah my mom even let him

hold her hand under the table don't

really have to like the bush first you

let him hold her hand now how would you

know that Kelly

we've got cable TV I knew come on down

there they always keep the kids out of

the critical part of the evening and the

way wouldn't want you to break your word

no they're just plain trade sure a game

Lee playing the depression because

people couldn't afford to go to the

movies depression

look what our grandparents made up so

they won't have to buy stuff that we

want

- Superman was a wonderful guest boot

you got me

you're up next

I'm moving girls a movie and a book

second wind

thank it where I can wear it is

something off broadcast hideous monster

your mother

sir

Kurt Kurt she's such a kidder

no she isn't

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thank you all for lovely evening

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livvie and please forget it Eddie

I thought you really changed but you

haven't hurt I was doing three four

hours so I got one good one

what's that compared to what we have

together remember the first time we ever

went out how can I forget I never

expected to see you again after I filled

out that police report and you kept

writing and calling and having pizzas

delivered remember the heart-shaped one

for Valentine's Day yeah see that was

the sweet side of you decide to cared

about me that's what made me want to

marry you and that's why you can't live

without me huh I have for a long time

now no don't start saying things like

that it's not true Eddie you're not

there for us I think your family should

come first not lumpy just because he has

tickets to some Boat Show I'll call him

and cancel tonight oh I didn't know how

this was gonna turn out and no you're

right

I've been impossible forgive me involved

if one little thing goes wrong too much

don't oh please I don't know

Rudy you

we don't

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in two weeks good night

I'm supporting it doesn't matter you

gotta give me a chance

what sir it's our new house

hey our new couch

sure brightens up the room go ahead try

it uh no no not tonight

I just want to stand here and look at it

for a while uh you know me I never even

helped ready for six seven months after

he was born pretty comfy yeah you just

put your remote control right there

you're all set for the weekend you wanna

know the best part you didn't sell the

waterbed did you this couch was reduced

to $700 $700 for this slab of cement

what happens if the guy was begging for

another chance he just found out his

wife blew the downpayment on us

Winnebago that's it Gertrude I thought I

could be a different person for you but

I can't this is the way I am and if you

don't like it and I'm sad line up for

good

Happy Trails anything that's it Gertrude

I'm leaving

I'm opening the door I got one foot on

the porch

I'm closing the door for the last time

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longer

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[Laughter]

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you're really not coming after me are

you no

in that case we can talk Ollie was

outside I had time to do a lot of

thinking about what you said there there

might be something to it might be I'm

not promising your personality

transplanted I guess I could spend more

time with you and Freddy and

what's-his-name in military school

I like that and once a while you could

fight something special for yourself

within reason

how about the couch can it be returned

all sales final it's yours

Andy Andy how about it we call the boat

show or not Eddie hey

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Oh Freddie afternoon ma'am well what's

this a small token to express my

gratitude to the entire cleaver clan for

helping bring harmony to the hospital

home well that's very nice ready please

it's the least I could do for all the

things you must have suffered during my

father's exile without a doubt you

cleavers or greater humanitarians and

Frank Sinatra himself

I'd best be off

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