02x15 - Bad Poetry

[bunniefuu]

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well Kelly maybe we should share this

with a whole class maybe we shouldn't

class now I want you to remember your

original poems are due tomorrow

raha me I would appreciated in English

I'd like to introduce you to a new

classmate this is Heather Montgomery

Heather why don't you tell us a little

something about yourself well my mom

didn't want to move here but she said my

dad makes so much money we can go out of

town every weekend Oh

Thank You Heather what I meant was why

don't you tell us about you okay I never

have to work a day in my life I see a

Heather why don't you hang your coat up

my mother says I shouldn't because it's

so nice someone might take it

dan I promise I want ask you for

anything else as long as I live not even

food but I need this no you don't and I

don't want to hear another word about it

I'm gonna be late for my date

but dad please I gotta have a magic set

Oliver my final answer is no if you'd

rather hear it in Spanish no may I offer

a suggestion sure as long as you're not

gonna insult my tie again sorry dear I

didn't quite hear what you said your

ties too loud mom I can dress myself dad

if I don't have a magic set I can't be

in Tallinn tonight and I want to astound

my friends you could always wear your

father's tongue how many times have I

rushed out to buy you something that you

had to have only to have you lose

interest in it

never never how about the drum set and

the video game the home hairstyling kit

oh hi beaver I was just um passing by on

these ties fell out of a tree Oh

why don't you pick one out to wear on

your date tonight I love this tie every

fish is different I think it's real cool

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get that boy a magic set

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hey I thought the baby and I were the

only ones doing the late shift what are

you doing up I have to write a poem for

school and I can't figure out how to

finish it it's boring I can't figure out

how started either okay do you have any

idea what time it is

please don't give me any math problems

tiny enough trouble with this poem

started sooner I couldn't I had to go

over to JJ's after school she's got this

new kid who let you train earrings on it

you know honey there's an old saying

when all important work is done playtime

is a lot more fun I'm afraid not I tell

you what if you promise to start on your

work earlier next time I'll help you out

this time I'm not gonna write it for you

but I could get you started on the right

track what you need is a little

inspiration here we go

poetry let's see hmm oh this one looks

nice well cursed by Philip Carey quiet

and peaceful as nature's snow blankets

memories of Christmas and Thanksgiving

banquets alive is a firing thundering

downpour Brookhurst keeps bringing me

back home for more that's a really neat

a lot of it was in the reading but you

get the idea I'll write a poem about me

feel that would be easy thanks dad

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would you take your date for dinner well

she wanted ethnic food so I took her to

that new Canadian restaurant I think

you'll be seeing her again you bet she

like might I just learned my first trick

excuse me young man

observe to ordinary grade AAA eggs

Moo juice from an ordinary dairy cow and

right before your very eyes

presto change-o abracadabra a flower for

my lady thank you upstairs the same

thing

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dad you better stop him before someone

gets hurt

no he's got to keep trying I remember

when I was a kid and everybody told me I

was no good at baseball I was ready to

give up but uncle Wally would stay out

with me every night practiced him until

it got so dark that I couldn't even see

the ball anymore and then you got good

okay so maybe that wasn't the best

example me do my home town by Kelly

cleaver quiet and peaceful as nature

snow blankets memories of Christmas and

Thanksgiving banquets alive as a fiery

thundering downpour

Mayfield keeps bringing me back home for

more that was wonderful Kelly throw your

milk cartons in the trash not at the

janitor

be able to pause and make sure Heather

doesn't follow you this time

nice poem Kelly thank almost as nice as

Brookhurst

by Philip Carey I had to memorize it

last year in my private school are you

gonna tell on me why would I tell her my

best friend do you know nobody likes me

here but from now on you're gonna have

to

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over here I'd hide too if I'd ignore my

best friend for a week I haven't been

able to play with you because oh hi

Kelly I guess you were just telling JJ

you can't play with her anymore

well I don't want to play with you

either because your lips don't match

O'Reilly interrupt something noodles

disgusting your poem let's go Heather

isn't today your piano lesson

yeah the challenge is to turn the pages

I have wonderful news for you your poem

was so good I decided you should read it

at talent night really I'm so proud of

you I know your parents will be when

they hear you recite it I'll see you

tomorrow girl what am I gonna to I can't

read that poem in for my dad he's the

one who read it to me hey funny stuff

they'll probably give away all my toys

and make me play with dirt you know

you're cute but done chess don't tell

your dad about Talent

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where am I

the sleepwalking together

where did all this food come

I don't care if you eat floppies food

I've got my own problem what's the

matter my little pudding Punk me anymore

of course you will my little bran muffin

oh she's creepy Heather's best friend

Heather does sit-ups and Jim Kelly holds

her ankle snap she used to hold mine

listen my little mushroom tomorrow

morning I'll call Wally and I'll tell

him just to make Kelly be friends with

you again well you can't make somebody

like you you don't want to Kelly and I

were doing the jigsaw puzzle together

just now we'll never finish

don't worry sweet pea I'll help you do

it oh you can't it's it Kelly

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hi mom hi may I borrow some eggs

oh sure others been practicing his

flower trick again you know the rest

well help yourself there's some on the

counter thing so he's still added huh

although he's inspired he just found out

he's going to be in talent night at

school Wow nice I bet he'll make the

audience disappear that wasn't funny

when the beaver said it

in any event tonight's gonna be a

wonderful night for the cleavers Oliver

tells me you're going to read your

horoscope oh you wrote congratulations

well I better get the eggs and go home

before Oliver gets bored and tries to

saw the beaver in half Kelly honey why

didn't you tell us about Talan I know I

remember you see I'm not to tell you on

my hand and then on the way home from

school I pinned this wet dog in a mr.

Krown oh I see well I'm glad we found

out and don't worry honey we'll be there

first well oh you bet oh wait a minute

tonight I have a dinner meeting with mr.

Henderson no problem I'll pack some egg

salad sandwiches and we'll tell him it's

dinner theater wish I could

I can't even postpone it why not he's

only gonna be in town until tomorrow I

hate to miss Kelly's poem oh it's all

right really

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after a New York next and then you Kelly

Oh your dad wanted you to have this Wow

he's so great just because he couldn't

be here well he's here he just gave me

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well I took one look at mr. Henderson

trying to pick up our waitress and I

decided I didn't want to handle his

divorce case Brad cleaver keeps to see

the star the show is on

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[Applause]

Thank You JJ Rutherford now it's my

pleasure to introduce the amazing Oliver

Rainey

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my gosh trick I will pull a bird out of

my house

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abra kadabra

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my next trick I'll need a volunteer

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okay

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the amazing Oliver Meany will make this

perfect stranger disappear

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you Oliver Oliver Rini that was

wonderful

well now Kelly cleaver will return and

recite her poem my hometown

Kelly what I guess she really did

disappear so we'll move right along now

and please welcome the comedy stylings

of Jacki ray

goodnight mrs. Jenkins thanks for taking

care of Kevin tonight yeah and thanks

for rearranging the furniture we love it

Molly she did it again

well fix it in the morning right now I

think we should talk about what happened

the talent night I told you I really

disappeared huh honey come on

we understand a little case of stage

fright is nothing to be ashamed of stage

fright yeah that's it feels good to

finally admit it can I want to see Lina

yeah well sure if you can find it

I look for the couch you try to find

ephemeral

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part of it your best friend I can't play

Heather you sure about that not positive

Oh mr. clam up fine I'll play with you

that's mine

come on we're going to my hand all right

but I gotta tell my folks okay and also

tell them that you're sleeping over

tonight and that you're going to be

spending this summer with me

mas watching me water-ski in your dream

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yeah honey what do you want

oh all right Heather good news I found

the couch Oh Heather did I have some

things day to your parents Kelly I

didn't really write that poem I copied

the one that dad read to me out of that

book and Heather no she said she'd tell

me if I wouldn't be her best friend

so that's why she's been hanging around

with you you've been blackmailing her

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I don't think Kelly will be playing with

you anymore I guess right boys make a

big deal out of everything boy I'm glad

she's gone she made my life miserable

yes well I don't mean to be

unsympathetic Kelly but you have nobody

to blame but yourself

Kelly why didn't you tell us what

Heather was doing to you because I

didn't want you to find out that I

cheated that well now I know dad didn't

you ever cheat on your homework no yes

I wasn't cheating he just typed it for

me are you kidding I turned your

scribbles into a ten page report I won't

see what Kevin wants no no I'll take

care of the child that can't talk yet

really sometimes I I can't believe this

what am I gonna do with you don't ask me

I don't want you got into this mess I'm

gonna tell how the man who really wrote

that poem would feel if he knew what you

did but dad he wrote that poem 200 years

ago she probably doesn't even remember

it by now you know I'll bet that that

poet worked as hard on his poem as you

did on his prehistoric diorama boy that

was tough

it took me two hours just to glue the

fish to the pterodactyls teeth yeah and

suppose Oliver was signed to make a

diorama but instead he took yours but he

really did and he turned it in and he

got an a-plus on it but he well he did

and his teacher sent it to the president

and he liked it so much that he sent for

Oliver and Oliver's gonna be the first

kid to go on the space station I'm going

to get all the work why should he get it

I guess it's never right to take

something that isn't yours

no it isn't I'll sure never do that

again and then sometimes when you

explain things to me like this it's a

lot better than punishing me well this

isn't one of those times

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that was excellent my little raising

them next time

don't drag me out parents sorry let me

get the door oh hi lumpy hey how are you

come on JJ Kelly's out in the car we

don't want to be late for the circus

well I'm sure glad the girls were

friends again

yeah it's nice to have friends yeah just

somebody to be with when you're all

alone have nothing to do you bet

bye Clarence see ya

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come on lumpy we'll buy a ticket tonight

they don't live nice turn they want to

save their church

theirs is a dream for Christmas then a

10:00 10:00 Eastern

Walter my thought was to write about his

life in the CIA but Glenda Jackson self

she might live to do it Bob Scott now

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