03x23 - Gosh, Wally

[bunniefuu]

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I got a good idea how about Washington

DC I'd be a good educational trip for

the kids

dad this is supposed to be a vacation

from school remember why don't we go to

shadow lake rocket wonder why Kip

hasn't called yet you don't think

anything could have happened do you boys

sure huh hello oh hi Kip

yeah well how'd you do you won fantastic

well tell me all about it well how did

you do you scored two gold hips scored

two goals Oh Kip I'm so proud of you hey

just for that you can bring a friend

along in our camping trip no not her

okay good luck goodbye that's my boy

that's my grandson my cousin you know

what he told me that he faked the goalie

out yeah every dinner with his feet his

head I wish I could have a brick you

know as Miss Warner also had him

Tolliver aren't you excited

I mean Kip's team just won the first

playoff game of the state championship

big deal you put the game in the

quarterfinals and everybody goes crazy I

get a c-plus on my math test and nobody

even notices we're still recovering from

the shock golly have you know what he

told me that he faked a goalie oh yeah

by himself he was flying down the field

he was dribbling this week Rivlin that

way all of a sudden he goes

thank the guy out the guy jumped he

kicked it in gold that was his first one

I said is he through the coil begins

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I'm trying to imagine what it'd be like

being an only child no thanks I've lost

my appetite

Oliver you must have read my mind huh

it's gonna look great right there what's

that Kip's new soccer trophy no good

thinking Oliver will put it downstairs

on the mantel that way everybody can see

it I give up what's the matter with you

oh nothing an orphanage wouldn't care

thank you sort of feeling like a

second-class citizen second class try

standby I've gone through my whole life

feeling like Kip's a tuxedo and I'm a

pair of brown shoes come on Holly you

know that I love you both the same yeah

was and wise keep the one that's always

getting rewarded because he deserves it

and when you deserve it I reward you

when was the last time you rewarded me

well uh what about the time you found

uncle Wally's keys under the sofa dad I

was two years old you got an English

test tomorrow you want to be rewarded do

better than a c-plus

come on let's go grab a soda no thanks

I'm gonna stay here and study what your

uncle beaver okay great

you know I'm proud of you already can't

see how many of these chapters have you

read so far let me think

none let's see what you picked up in

class okay who's Emily Dickinson Emily

Dickinson doesn't she sit next to

Charlie Krueger in math

I'm getting ascending you better start

reading

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I tested me too I always get so nervous

my hands even get sweaty Oh what do you

say we cool off with a thick shake at

the malt shop after school

oh I'd like to but I have to get ready

for the inner scholastic debating finals

you know you're on the debate team

yeah just during this year I really

enjoy it I don't know I get enough fire

going at home with my dad

are we prepared for this Oliver I think

so is Canfield good maybe you'll double

your last test score nobody better than

that that's why I only end up with the

40

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why don't we just make it easy on

ourselves and go to shallow lake mombi

we got shadow lake every year exactly

and we know right word is we wouldn't

need all these roadmaps and we know how

long it takes us to get there so we

would have to get up early we've been

there so many times we can just look at

our pictures from our last trip and not

go at all hey that could save us a lot

of money hello everybody

all right did we finally save up enough

money to send little Theodore to camp a

jiggle can't be karate don't ever call

him uncle Annie that's a splendid idea

you little munchkin hey my kids are

planning a vacation too now they can

just go along with you guys no I don't

think that's a good idea Eddie are you

kidding I'll even throw in Kurt you

bring along Mary Ellen you'll have

enough women to cook and clean up it's

the tents hi everybody

hey what you got there just Manglish

exam how'd you do pretty good I guess

you better let me see

don't do it squirt I hate to see your

father depressed unless of course I'm

the Claus he got a 98 I'll say the kid

must have had a brain transplant I'm

really proud of you son

well that's wonderful Oliver hey ollie

we knew you could do it perseverance and

hard work really do pay off

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and then for tomorrow I'd like you to

read the two poems on pages 48 and 49 by

Robert Frost

who's Robert Frost not so fast Oliver

I'd like to discuss your performance on

the last test with you uh Jim is

canceled you know I'd love to but I got

a dead frog waiting for me in biology I

guarantee your frog isn't going anywhere

sit down and Oliver you know I've been

keeping my eye on you you have yes and

all my years of teaching I have never

seen a student improve as rapidly as you

have as a matter of fact you were the

main topic of discussion at the last

teacher's meeting Oh us yes you know I

I've seen a marked improvement in all of

your work I can do worse your progress

has been unbelievable I've been giving a

lot of thought as to how to handle this

miss Canfield the only reason I Oliver I

want you to join our debate team excuse

me the drive that you've demonstrated is

exactly what we need for our leadoff

speaker leadoff speaker I knew you'd be

pleased it will be good for you and

it'll be good for the school

we haven't won a championship in a long

time

we are counting on you Oliver and I know

you won't let us down

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bad omen if it isn't the boy genius at

work

another bad omen you know last-minute

cramming before the big debate squirt

just brushing up on a few weak areas

Sartre and the meaning of me ever

debated before once I tried talking my

dad into letting Karen Cutler sleep over

the topic but I'm afraid it doesn't even

approximate the pressure you're gonna be

under what do you mean well I mean

getting A's on tests is one thing but

standing up there under those hot lights

struggling is a thousand people hang on

your every word that's another gonna be

sick

hey just relax that's half the key to

extemporaneous speaking what's

extemporaneous mean be my prayers kid by

the way keep said I could borrow a

synthesizer for band practice how's your

sports are doin anyway

oh there's an article on him in the

newspaper yeah well after tomorrow's

debate they'll probably have an article

on you too you think so yeah in the

obituary column

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thanks Evelyn hi olli so I just got off

the phone with Evelyn McKinley who's

that

she's the gone like computer class who's

good friends with Susan Shannon captain

of the Lincoln debating team Evelyn told

me all about her figured Ansel might

give you a psychological edge good I can

use all the edges I can get all right

would you find out well Susan's like you

tested in over 200 when she was just

three years old she's in Mensa and got

accepted to a special internship at a

State for gifted students not only that

I don't deserve to be on that debate

team of course you do if you're the most

improved student in the school the only

thing that's improved is my printing you

got it right really small to fit all the

test answers here you're cheated how

could you do that well first you gotta

get a pen with a really fine point why

did you do it

I don't know I needed an A I wanted my

dad to be proud of me the way he's

always so proud of Kip after all the

attention I got I guess just got out of

hand

boy Alli you really dug yourself a deep

one this time I guess I'm too young to

run away and join the army besides I

hate canned ham you're gonna go to that

debate and you're gonna be brilliant you

think so sure yeah you're right I'm not

as dumb as I look

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hey five bucks says redhead bites of

death you're on what's going on here Oh

Eddie and I just made a little wager

it's not just you Sam

I've got the hole covered you know some

of these dopes actually think your

nephew can pull this off

I'll take 20 of that you got it and I

want to be paid the minute you lose

dream on pal

Susan chan is in Mensa oh great maybe

she won't be here in time for the debate

all right you see what I mean it's bad

genes it's gonna be the kids downfall ah

Reverend

I'm so happy you're on the team Oliver

you know brains are justice and for me

it's good luck

well I guess one out of two is not bad

how are you feeling boy oh sorry miss

Canfield

because I'm just a little nervous relax

Oliver you'll be fine good evening

ladies and gentlemen welcome to our

Interscholastic debating championship

the three topics for debate have been

selected from 20 possible choices and

are unknown to our debaters so let me

present our leadoff speakers

Susan chan from Lincoln junior high

and Oliver cleaver from Grant Avenue

junior high

the topic for our debate tonight

resolved nuclear power is an effective

means of supplementing our energy supply

piece of cake Susan will take the

affirmative position nuclear power is

essentially the harnessing of nuclear

energy which is produced as a byproduct

of atomic fusion this energy which can

be harnessed and contained is a

self-sufficient means of electrical

power which is totally independent of

Natural Resources and as the consequence

of potentially never-ending source of

power and fuel what you say what you say

your energy our water and one materials

so much a part of our natural

environment and traditionally used for

sources of electrical conversion can be

saved for other uses making us less

reliant on natural resources and more

capable of generating large sources of

electricity without the risk of

depleting our environment thank you

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Thank You Susan and now to present the

opposing point of view all of our

cleaver

go ahead Oliver I don't know anything

about nuclear power just speak

extemporaneously oh there's that word

again

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nuclear power is bad thank you very much

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block the reasons

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first of all there could be an expl*si*n

an extemporaneous one a nuclear accident

could harm our environment I saw this

movie once where there was this nuclear

expl*si*n and all these insects got

really big

there were grasshoppers 12 feet tall let

me tell you when those suckers jumped it

was from one state to another there were

flies swatting people I mean it was

gross this guy in the movie who had two

heads no I don't know about you but if

that's what nuclear power does who needs

it besides who wants to glow in the dark

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thank speed

whoa in a dark

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I'm sorry dad

Oliver you don't have to apologize you

gave it your best shot and that's all

that counts

we didn't dad didn't even deserve to be

in the debating team in the first place

you see I cheated on that test

you cheated Oliver how could you do that

well you take the penalty a fine point

there Oliver I didn't say be proud of me

that's not the way to make me proud of

you well I'm proud of your brother and

he never cheated on a test in his life

oh I know

keeps perfect he's never done anything

wrong I didn't say that

look dad you didn't have to keep always

done everything right I probably tried

to do something right for once and it

comes out all wrong wait a minute Oliver

why don't you sit down you know maybe

some of this is my fault

When I was your age he used to think

that uncle Wally always did everything

right and I was always messing up now I

think maybe you feel that way I guess

let me tell you about a story I read one

time there was this caveman with a club

foot and because of it he couldn't hunt

and the other cavemen would laugh at him

and then one night when they were

returning from hunting they noticed that

the cave had all these beautiful

drawings on the wall done by the caveman

with the clubfoot are you with me so far

not really well he was just as talented

as they were only his talents were

different dad this has something to do

with keeping me right Oliver people are

unique because of their differences I

don't want you to be like Kip and I

don't want him to be like you but I do

want you to be the very best that you

possibly can

and cheaters only cheat themselves but I

guess he really blew it huh you bet but

I do give you credit for getting up

there and trying yeah maybe your

extemporaneous speaking will come in

handy tomorrow well what happens

tomorrow well that's when you get to

tell miss can feel that you cheated on

the test well in a dark

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hello oh I kept yeah how'd you do

ah great hey that's not a victory that's

a m*ssacre

well how many goals did you score three

I told you you could do it

I'll bet Kip guess MVP Wow a fight

kicked out why what you said what I want

to talk to an attorney

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