04x01 - Chew Slowly

[bunniefuu]

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rosebud County wait can't we discuss

this life to responsible young adults

thank you for walking me home Josh good

night

well Josh I guess I don't that fast kind

of evening went Oliver third cousin he

yours is a real firebrand

you wouldn't believe the party she

dragged me to music blaring dancing lord

knows where the parents walk gee nobody

told me about any party for the life of

me I can't fathom what you want to go

there in the first place

to have fun fun it means not finding

every single micro second of every

minute of the day

fine it's a noun it means to cut loose

party kick up your heel or no square

dance lessons no I can't believe nobody

invited me to the party I'll go square

dancing with you Josh Kevin it's way

past your bedtime what I can go upstairs

and go to sleep

you're not my babysitter move it or I'll

tell grandma how that frog got in your

underwear drawer go Kelly can we discuss

this my trying discuss Kelly we need you

to me what do you want well actually I

thought as long as I was done

babysitting you might tell me where that

party is what do I look like your social

director get out of here I don't get it

we have all the same friends I got my

braces off

good night Kelly is there something

bothering you

Josh let's talk Josh sit down after you

Josh please I insist sit I'm not real

good at saying things like this you see

you came into my life right after I

broke up with Duffy every time I think

you with that cool again it makes me

want to retch so there I was crying

myself to sleep every night when who

should call but this sweet guy with good

skin and a chest full of merit badges

so we go skating a few times and the

next thing I know you put my albums in

alphabetical order and you're out

shopping for an adjustable rate mortgage

it's all happening too fast

Joey is this one of those conversations

it ends with we can still be friends

Thanks oh darn it I don't want to be

your friend I want to be your man for

you you're perfect you're too perfect I

can change

I'll become slovenly cynical take an

interest in the world around me just

just name it Josh it's not you it's me

see I'm never gonna be in eighth grade

again I just don't want to be tied down

well guess I'd better be on my way

honey plenty of rest I'm gonna have to

rebuild my entire life in the morning

Josh I'm sorry it had to be like this

nobody ever walked me to school every

day like you even that week you had knee

surgery

that's a pretty good game yeah your back

hands getting better thanks oh my gosh

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another one bites the dust

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what are you doing here I'm filling in

for Kip he's got a hot date and I got a

rent payment do

father charges you rent actually it's

quite reasonable though the cleaning

deposits a bit steep Chloe

alright Chloe it's nice to meet you hi

Freddie hey what's with all the w*r

paint I haven't seen lips that color

since we went skating mr. Rutherford

fell through the ice

well everyone better get ready for a new

Kelly that's right because the post Josh

era has officially begun what you and

Josh is stranged but still it must be

hard to part company with the first

Scout to ever win a merit badge in urban

planning ready just bring me some chili

fries and two cokes and hold the sarcasm

as you wish but the sarcasm is excellent

today

Kelly you never told me if I was to

Dreamsicle who do you like better

that winsome smile or that's cute little

buns he's almost like a brother to me

besides I don't go around checking out

guys you know what what are you looking

for in a boy blank conversation hey bids

want something else perhaps something

from our pastry cart you can tell me who

that chick is at the end of the counter

that dirty blonde negative man the cute

little number with the purple lips what

do you know about her

twenty she's Kip cleavers cousin Vika so

that's about to set up a little intro

from your old classmate Vince having

makeup gym together doesn't make us

classmates

besides she's only eighth grade so I'm

not looking for brilliant conversation

man you made a mistake on my check

that's highly unlikely man Kelly don't

look but what is that hunk buying me

[Applause]

is he's much older than I am

my problems at first but the weather

them oh my god here he comes

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you're Kip cleavers cousin huh me yeah

Kip and I are on the soccer team

together I'm the goalie Vince Kerr oh I

saw you play last week your nose looks

much better thanks drop the keys to my

Mustang I had the same thing last week

and it wasn't that much well I took the

liberty of adding a 20% gratuity for the

excellent service well that's how

Rangers sews my cleaning deposit I've

been all over the world and I have never

been treated like this I've been to

London Paris Rio path we Hong Kong Spain

we're special I created lifestyle 260

beaver thanks for helping out kids at

Children's Hospital really got a kick

out of you I got a kick out of them too

wish I didn't have to take that flu shot

to show them it didn't hurt my feet are

k*lling me

man mr. cleaver I presume I'm in need of

an opinion which naturally eliminates my

father

I'm $20 in arrears with your brother so

that leaves you I'm overwhelmed what's

your problem well sir

hey what if someone were up well

actually sir it's it's rather difficult

to talk to you like this

does this help not really but let's

press on anyway let's suppose there's

someone whom one has more than a passing

interest in and let's suppose that this

someone is doing something to someone

that isn't right for someone let me get

this straight

someone has seen someone and you don't

think they're right for that person not

me just someone Freddie yeah for someone

would you tell me certainly sir yep

someone which someone never mind

what I think is that someone a should

tell someone B that they're not right

for someone C but what if someone a told

someone being someone a said buzz off

buzz off a or buzz off beep hey Freddie

I think that you are or someone has done

just about everything they can sometimes

people just have to learn things the

hard way

thank you for your invaluable assistance

sir I don't understand why everybody

says you're incapable of grasping

complicated problems

Kelly don't forget this weekend's the

rubbers annual luau do I have to I mean

who wants to watch mr. Rutherford do the

hula no one dear but they paid a lot of

money for that pig pit and they want to

get some use out of it but I saw I

already made plans for Saturday someone

blew house Friday night oh good

so Kelly this someone that you made

plans with wouldn't happen to be Josh

would it no someone new yep

do we know who he is Kelly who is this

boy his name is Vince he's 16 years old

he gots his own car and cute buns I

heard her talking all about him on the

telephone Kelly Kelly sit down going out

with a 16 year old boy don't you think

that's something that your mother and I

have a right to know about well I was

gonna tell you eventually when

afterwards honey I thought we had the

kind of relationship where you didn't

have to go around hiding things from us

I wanted to tell you I figured if I did

you'd say he was too old and you

wouldn't let me go Joey honey I know

that it's hard for you to understand

some of the decisions we make but you've

gotta trust us one thing we want more

than anything else in the whole world is

for you to be happy give us a little

credit who knows we might surprise you

sometimes

does this mean I can go out with Vince

over our dead bodies

[Music]

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hippest dance party I'm around let's get

to it to fully stack dance albums for

the price of one people are still having

sex

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[Applause]

over two hours of dance heads packed

into two albums from the price of one

let's get to it the essential party

album get it now in 1532 the spaniards

set sail across the seas and plundered

the world of gold in 1992 the world is

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presenting the olympics australia's

telecom proudly supporting our olympic

team than you you're my last hope Kelly

I can't tell your father what to do

sure you can remember when Kevin was

born but he wanted to name in corky for

your only granddaughter honey you know

how people gobbled down their

Thanksgiving dinners though there's no

tomorrow and then afterwards they fly

around the room because they ate too

fast yeah especially uncle beaver honey

life is a whole lot like Thanksgiving

dinner so you choose slowly auto

mechanics aren't nearly as complicated

as those grease monkeys that have you

believe this is the distributor cap you

pull that wire there and the chump won't

go any faster than the tow truck in

front of him but you really want to

settle a score a wad of gum any one of

these sparkplug wells and he'll have a

problem no warrant he'll cover

so k*ll what did you say about Vince

chew slowly oh yeah she said the same

thing to me when she found that magazine

under my sweaters Kelly its previously

stated here the guy's not worthy of your

attention succinctly put he slime he's a

terrible goalie you're just jealous

because he has his own car true and he

has to sit on a telephone book to see

over the - I'm telling you he's not for

you oh yes master whatever you say

master you're acting like a baby

no this is acting like a baby no wait

wait you know Kevin this was a very

expensive toy I told you when we bought

it that you were gonna have to be extra

careful with it he dad I was extra

careful I dried it off real good after

my back

throw nuclear family went to the movies

with Chloe be back in a reasonable hour

Kelly wait too old to give your mother a

kiss goodbye sorry mom hmm you're still

not upset about that date thing are you

no mom not anymore I'm on fire honey

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I can't believe it Willie Mays has been

playing baseball today would have hit 50

home runs and stolen 50 bases we gotta

do something about the cats in the

neighborhood Wally this attack happened

on your property if anything's busted

I'll sue you know that's what mr.

cleaver unfortunately I found him

lurking outside the bushes and from the

looks of him I judged him to be a member

of the criminal element how fast can you

run kid you better hope it's faster than

my truck Wow are you doing out in the

bushes anyway I was just cutting a few

roses for Kurt you know what a dozen

long stems cost from a florist

yeah I had to do something after Kurt

found out how those puppies she brought

home ended up at a research lab I don't

even want to know you anymore

hey why is everybody picking on me why

don't you ask the Boy Wonder here what

he was doing lurking in the shadows

what's come over me mr. cleaver a week

ago I was a confident secured honor

student and today I've been reduced to

skulking about hoping to catch a glimpse

of Kelly pining away in a bedroom just

like I've been kid you pathetic

you wouldn't happen to have one of those

cute little cut glass vases okay you

mom's got a lovely crystal when the

Gertz always admired

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listen Josh I think maybe you're

overreacting just a little you know

girls Kenley's ager sometimes a little

flighty they don't always know what they

want she told me I was dull no she may

have a point there honey you could try

to be a little more encouraging Josh why

don't you think of yourself as a tie now

some years wide ties are in and the next

year you can't give them away to the

Salvation Army but tastes change know

what I mean yeah yeah Thank You mr. mrs.

cleaver this is the best news I've heard

the tartar control toothpaste

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boy is he dull

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Kelly I bet this is the best first date

you've ever had

sure so uh you keep a diary yeah well I

hope you save plenty of room for tonight

hey what's wrong I was just getting

warmed up

yeah me too it's getting off the Layton

I gotta take off this makeup and change

before I can go inside

you know sure I understand perfectly it

must be out of gas but what it says you

have half a tank must be broken there's

a gas station a few miles down the road

if you run you could be down back within

half an hour more much better way to

spend the next try turning the key again

I mean hey my dad has this old car and

you just have to keep turning the key

and swear a whole lot before it'll turn

over I know it's only 14 miles what do

you think we came round here for to

catch Dad look Vince

hey Freddie what luck I just ran out of

gas

yeah you look pretty revved up to me you

okay okay she just told me this was the

best date she ever had Freddie just get

me out of here hey Kelly I'll be happy

to take it huh Vince old man that might

be a problem

I guess it's kind of hard for me to be

mad at you for following me to be frank

I didn't follow you I've been waiting

for hours the entire locker room no

offense is agenda for the evening

I guess you must think I'm pretty stupid

huh

now that's stupid just in the 8th grade

hi honey

Kelly honey what's the matter

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[Applause]

[Music]

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[Music]

new friends Bobby's world has lots of

fries helicopter fire engines it's great

at Wally's world

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Sophy turns on her best friend is this

the end of the friendship stop thinking

about yourself and start putting the

baby's interest first desperate act from

a desperate boy you so much as poke your

nose through that door all here nintendo

presents homie the white tonight at

seven hi Kelly hi Josh

it's not raining not at the moment but

there is a 20% chance of precipitation

it's same hole Josh not necessarily you

see I've had a lot of time these past

few days think about us and the things

you said about me and I've discussed the

matter with my parents and clergymen and

I've come to the realization that I need

to develop a more casual approach to

life to live from the moment as it were

I'm happy for you I was kind of hoping

that with these sweeping changes in

effect you might perhaps consider

picking up where we left off how about

if we just start off by walking to

school together and take it from there

I'd like that very much

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head grows cartoon connection is next

kids there's the best fun just for you

today at 4 get ready for a pup named

scooby-doo

at 4:30 it's blockbusters heaps of

afterschool fun from four today on 7

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you