09x06 - The Weasel

[bunniefuu]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- This is home.

It's going to be a combination
of a log cabin,

a mine shaft,
and a giant basket.

Whew, it'll wear you out.

- Got the wood real good.

having grouse for dinner.

- Hopefully, the dock makes
a difference with the fish.

Got one, got one.

Another one, [bleep] yeah.

I think I'm getting
the hang of this.

♪ ♪

- Eating grouse tonight.

This makes me feel
like I can be out here

for a long time.

- It's absolutely
freezing out here,

and I've got to swim 100 yards.

Gotcha.

Oh, my goodness.

[sighs]

[retching]

- Mother [bleep].

I'm officially tapping out.

You get punished out here
when you get careless

and you make mistakes.

♪ ♪

- I can't wait to have
this place try and break me.

narrator:
For the first time on "Alone,"

ten participants fight
to survive

in the hunting ground

of the world's
largest land predator...

- Oh, my God.
Where'd he go?

- Those are bear.

I heard a big animal.

- Hey, bear.
Oh, no, [bleep].

Sometimes you eat the bear.

Sometimes the bear eats you.

narrator: Battling
merciless conditions...

- This is some
hardcore bushwhacking.

- Why does it have to be
such a struggle every night?

- I hit it,
I hit it, I hit it.

- I feel more alive
every day I'm out here.

- [sighs]

- Here comes the rain again.

- Labrador, you're not gonna
make it easy for us, are you?

narrator:
In complete isolation...

- The most dangerous thing
out here is myself.

- Look at that!

- The cold ground
is just pulling

all the warmth from me.

- How many days can this go on?

- I'm very, very hungry.

- I feel like
I'm hitting a wall.

narrator:
Last one standing wins.

- It's only gonna get harder
the longer you stay out here.

♪ ♪

- Amazing beaver skull.

Mmm.

What an amazing animal.

Look at those teeth.

Unfortunately, there's no real
easy way to remove this meat.

[soft music]

Catching a beaver is
a game changer to me.

Going to attempt somehow
to access the brain.

♪ ♪

I'm getting skinnier
every day.

I can feel it.
I can see it.

Now I've got a source of fat.

I've got protein.

I've got organ meats.

I've got vitamins.

I've got minerals.
I've got hide.

I've got bone marrow.

♪ ♪

Oh, there's another
hidden chunk of brain.

♪ ♪

Mmm.

I don't believe
in wasting anything,

things that I would imagine
most people wouldn't

really consider to be food.

Get every bit
of sustenance possible

from this amazing animal.

There it is, beaver eyeball.

♪ ♪

Quite a hard crunch.

Quite chewy.

Not a lot of flavor.

Beaver flavor, but nothing
off-putting at all.

All right,
we got to get back to work.

[tense music]

Meat preservation is
priority numero uno

at the moment.

My thoughts have just
been fixated on getting

this safer and more preserved.

It takes time
if you're doing it solo.

This place does seem to have

a real tremendous
freeze-thaw cycle.

It's not ideal
for preservation.

In these conditions,
there's a number of risks,

bacteria growth
in temperatures like this

and the rain.

We've had some bouts of rain

since I've harvested it.

Moisture is horrendous
for meat preservation.

You're racing the spoilage.

The sooner I can get it
chunked up into small pieces

that smoke out real easy,
the better.

We can just get it really,
really good and dry,

it'll last a long time.

The meat on the bones--

there's a lot of fat
and connective tissue--

really doesn't lend itself
to smoking super well.

So we're just gonna
boil it and eat it.

We'll keep it cool
as long as we can.

♪ ♪

[bird calling]

♪ ♪

Uh-huh.

We got a whisky jack
up above us.

That's not good.

♪ ♪

There's a tremendous amount
of birds,

tremendous amount of rodents
around here,

and they watch me work.

They know there's meat around.

And they can bring in
larger predators.

♪ ♪

It's going to be a full-time
job keeping this secure.

Keep that bow close.

Never know what may be
attracted to all that scent.

♪ ♪

Oh, so thankful
to get this started.

And, you know, if we can get,
like, a first batch going,

I don't mind doing it
in a few batches.

This right here is a passion
of mine.

I love procuring
and preserving my own meat.

It just feels like
the natural way to do things.

♪ ♪

It'll need hours, and hours,
and hours of low, low heat.

♪ ♪

Try to get a real
big bed of coals.

Just create a big base
all the way across the bottom.

That'll help dehydrate
everything out.

It's a different setup than
I've ever attempted before.

♪ ♪

There's so many unknowns,

so many variables about
this whole smoking process.

Gonna to be some trial and
hopefully not too much error

because I sure don't want
to waste any of this.

Hopefully,
everything's all right.

♪ ♪

- I'd like to make
my sweetheart some earrings.

We're just making it up, folks.

Some snare wire,
grouse feather,

rabbit bone earrings
for my baby.

That is the basic idea.

It's just something
to let her know

I've been thinking
of her out here.

She's gonna love it.

[soft music]

Gonna make another one.

But first, we better boogie.

We have to go check traps.

Wouldn't it be nice
if we had another rabbit

up in the snares?

♪ ♪

Man, if one of our ten items
could be a sweetheart,

my baby would kick a*s at this.

She'd be helping me
with all this

and making food,
cooking squirrel up for me,

making squirrel tacos.

Guarantee it.

She's a keeper.

♪ ♪

Here we go.

This is the part
I've got to take easy.

♪ ♪

I can see
it's still untriggered,

and the loop is intact.

Oh, that's a shame.

♪ ♪

I'm eating absolutely
everything I can find,

but I can feel
that I'm losing weight.

I can feel
that my muscle is going.

I can feel the fatigue.

There is snare two,

untriggered.

Son of a g*n.

The game is less available,

and I'm not gonna win
a starving contest.

If I'm gonna stay out here,

I need to constantly
be bringing food in.

Last snare...

untriggered.

♪ ♪

Ah, man, a real letdown.

♪ ♪

I'm getting thinner
and getting weaker,

and I know something's
got to change.

♪ ♪

Look at all
these beaver runs in here.

♪ ♪

That's the dam right there.

I know the beaver lives there.

I see his sign all the time.

Getting a beaver
would be huge.

That could provide me with
four or five days of food,

maybe more.

And I really need
that windfall.

I need to get ahead.

I have not seen them.

I assume they're active
mostly at night.

I'm gonna have to come back.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- I hear the mice now
next to the fireplace.

They're smelling the smoke.

These mice,
they really don't care

that there's a bunch of smoke.

They make a big commotion
when I start a fire every time,

and I start fires twice a day,

and they still don't move out,
so...

Since I know the mice are
kind of, like, in the front,

I'm probably gonna
set up Paiutes

so that when they come out
to see what the world is like,

they'll find little bits
of goodness,

and then squish.

[soft music]

I am putting a pause
on fishing right now.

The water levels here
are just so much lower

than when I got here.

So it's probably not
the deepest pocket

for fish to hide in.

[grunts]

Sometimes,
you just need to let nature

tell you what
the best route is,

what the easiest route is.

Right now,
we're hunting small game.

The mice, every time I would
hear them, I'd just growl,

and they would quiet up
and stop moving.

So it must be, like,
maybe one or two of them.

I got my Y stick,
and then a little toggle

over here
that supports the rock.

So let's try you.

[tense music]

The mice, they're looking
for a winter home as well.

But I set a bunch
of traps for them,

so they can supplement
my diet here.

On the outside of the trigger,

I'll tie some acorns
to bait it.

Improvise, adapt, overcome,
that's the infantry way.

[wings flapping]

I heard that.

Let's take a look.

♪ ♪

I'm like 90% sure
that's a grouse.

I saw a big flapping up there.

♪ ♪

I feel like
this is a flight pattern

for the grouse.

They come from maybe
somewhere up in the mountains,

come down
to get grit from the beach.

And my shelter just so happens
to be on their flight pattern.

♪ ♪

Do I risk it, little birdie?

♪ ♪

[bleep]

Flew that way.

All right, bird.

Please, I need you.

♪ ♪

There it is.

♪ ♪

[bleep]

That arrow sounded
like it went far.

It flew towards the shelter,

so hopefully,
I can run into it again.

The arrow's worth a lot to me.

♪ ♪

I shot a few arrows,
and one of them

landed in a tree
near my shelter,

so I'm gonna see
if I can retrieve that.

Let's get the lightest sapling,

see if we can launch it up,

get that arrow,
so I don't have to climb it.

♪ ♪

There it is.

All right.

Let's test our aim.

♪ ♪

I missed it.

Not gonna be able
to get it like that.

Climbing it is.

It's about 20 feet up.

Just gonna have to be very,
very careful.

♪ ♪

One, two, three.

[grunts]

♪ ♪

It's not gonna be easy.

♪ ♪

[sighs]

Need that arrow.

♪ ♪

Breathe.

You don't realize
you're out here alone

until you get up
a good 15 feet.

Breathe.

♪ ♪

Might not be the smartest idea.

This is like
an injury waiting to happen.

Slow and steady.

Almost there.

♪ ♪

[bleep]

[grunts]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[grunts]

That was close.

I slipped a little bit.

It's right there.

I got it.

♪ ♪

That wasn't easy.

♪ ♪

Shouldn't take
any more tree shots.

Just too high of a risk.

♪ ♪

This is a crazy challenge.

Every day is getting harder,

but I don't think
I would trade anything.

I want to push myself.

I want to test myself.

I was thinking about if I would
feel alone out here, you know?

♪ ♪

I've felt more alone
in my life.

I was homeless.

♪ ♪

I was living out of my van.

And it was such
a stressful time in my life.

It was my last year
of medical school.

And deep down,

I was just...

incredibly unhappy and sad.

Financially,
in my relationships,

emotionally,
I just hit rock bottom.

Being in six figures of debt,

you know, I could have asked
for money and all that,

but I never asked
my parents for help.

My mom's basically
a single working parent.

And I know
the stress of things

wouldn't be good
for her health.

I didn't want her
to worry about me,

so I decided
to do it by myself.

But to go through
something like that,

and to put on a smile,

and to portray
that everything's okay,

I don't think
I could feel more alone

than when I did
in those few months.

So being out here,
I don't think I'll be--

I don't think
I'll feel that alone.

And I feel like
I can make it out here.

But no more tree shots.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- So...

I'm getting ready
to chase beavers.

♪ ♪

Right on the edge of my site,

there's clearly
an active beaver dam.

I want to get down there
to the water's edge

and just see if there's
at least any daylight activity

where I've been fishing.

I haven't been down there
this early in the morning yet.

My plan is
to leave the house here

when I can
just about barely see to walk.

By the time I get down there,

it should be
sort of gray enough light

that I could sh**t
if I had to.

All right.
Let's get moving.

♪ ♪

We're swinging for the fences,
trying new things.

Fingers crossed.

Somehow, we got to get
some food.

Energy-wise,
I need some proteins.

Because of my frame,
my lack of weight,

if the food runs out,
it'll be downhill fast.

♪ ♪

It's pretty black.

♪ ♪

The river is out there.

I'm in a little cove.

But around the bend,

the water comes out like so.

It hooks around,
and just around the corner

is where the beaver dam is.

♪ ♪

This is who I am.

This is why I'm on the show,
is to hunt.

I just love a stalk.

You get busted more
than you don't.

But that's what makes it
so awesome when it happens.

You're trying to do
a really difficult thing.

That challenge is what
makes it so exciting.

♪ ♪

My background is actually
in conservation

and watching animals.

And that's made me
a better hunter.

I hunted for years without
ever dropping the string

or pulling the trigger.

I have a fascination
and an interest

in the game that extends
beyond the harvest,

you know, their habitat,
how they fit into the group.

I want to know what they do
out of season, you know,

and that helps me
harvest them in season.

The second you drop the string
of your bow,

the hunt is over.

If you wait,
if you let a few animals walk,

you get to watch,
and you get to observe them,

and you learn more.

And oftentimes, you get
a better opportunity later.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Wow.

Holy smokes.

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

I stuck it.

I know I stuck it.

♪ ♪

Come on. Come up somewhere.

Come on now.

Where are you?

Pop up.

You got to bleed out,
I know it.

I got a pass through.

♪ ♪

[sighs]

See any bubbles?

I just don't know
where I hit it.

The reaction was like
I hit it pretty good,

the way it swirled
around in the water.

It dove under.

I'm sure it went for the dam.

Ah, [bleep].

♪ ♪

I would normally never sh**t
at a beaver in the water

with a bow in the dam.

I was hoping it was gonna
come up on the shore

here and feed.

♪ ♪

I'll stay up here
where I can see.

♪ ♪

Ah, man.
I know I hit it.

If I if I didn't hit it well,
it's gonna just tear me up.

I would never take
that shot back home.

I mean, this is just
trying to survive.

You know,
that's not an ethical shot.

But I was pretty desperate
for some food.

There's a sinking feeling
and a lump in your throat

when you sh**t something,
and you can't find it,

and you think about it
suffering and going to waste.

And it's just not
a good feeling.

♪ ♪

I took it
'cause I need the food.

It was a chance.

I'm just hoping either that
it's okay or it comes up here.

The thought of it dying
in that dam,

it's heartbreaking.

♪ ♪

But with the way their fur is
and being in the water,

by the time the arrow floated
back over to the shore,

there wasn't any sign
of blood or hair on it.

I really think I stuck it,

but I guess
I could have missed.

[sighs]

I just don't know.

Have I just ruined my chances
of getting this beaver

in the future?

Have I ruined my chances
of getting this resource

that means so much to me,
this five-plus days of food?

I'm gonna let this whole area
cool down for a while

and come back in a couple
of days and try again.

I'm just hoping it survives.

The not knowing is
the thing that kills you.

♪ ♪

- Here we are
at the cache smokehouse.

We're just pulling the meat off
the racks for the first time.

I'm hoping it's preserved.

Let's see what
we're working with.

Really got to make
the most of this.

Oh, my word.

Oh, it's so beautiful.

Oh, my goodness the smell,
so sweet and aromatic.

Oh, my word.

♪ ♪

Just pure elation.

I mean, this is such a gift.

♪ ♪

[chuckles]

Real rudimentary,
rough rack system,

but it held up.

It held the meat over the heat
and the smoke.

And just look at that beautiful
coloration of that meat,

really jerky-like,
leather-like,

so nice and thoroughly dried.

♪ ♪

I've been so nervous
about ruining the meat,

so nervous about it spoiling.

In this state,
it'll last so much longer.

♪ ♪

So just super thankful to have
something that'll carry us on,

past the bone meat,

the meat that's still currently
on the bone structures,

'cause that'll be
the next thing

we turn our attentions to.

We're getting past the time
when it's gonna be good.

♪ ♪

Hopefully, we can have
the majority of the meat

over the coming days.

We need every little scrap.

♪ ♪

Here we go
to the Burns beaver kitchen.

I'm gonna go ahead
and start dropping this in.

It is time to eat.

Take a look in there.

Beautiful beaver bacon.

All right.

We just got to try
one of these.

Oh.

Oh, my word.

Everything you
could ever hope for.

Oh!

Crispy and chewy
and fatty, smoky.

And that is just so totally
what you need out here.

I'm gonna try to render
enough fat up,

which with all this stuff,
I expect will happen,

that I can actually
sip on the fat.

We're gonna drink
rendered fat today.

♪ ♪

Just trying to stay out here
longer, you know?

I sure miss all my loved ones.

Thinking of my family,
my friends, my mother.

Sure love
and appreciate that woman.

My goodness.

She probably thinks this is
one wild thing to pursue,

but she's into that
if you're going to do it,

do it all the way.

Growing up in West Virginia,
we didn't have a whole lot.

So many people there
live in quiet desperation.

And I just wanted
to hunt and fish,

and expand my knowledge
in ways that I couldn't.

♪ ♪

My mother's always been
an incredible supporter of me,

and she taught me
to chase things

beyond what I could dream.

I love her and really
appreciate the support.

And I'm thinking of her
in this beautiful place.

♪ ♪

Beautiful pot of water
with beaver fat in it.

♪ ♪

Ah, it's so rich and fatty.

You can just feel it
on your lips,

feel it on your tongue.

You can see it.

See all those bubbles
and all that oil?

That is...

absolute perfect fuel
for out here.

If I wasn't out here,
I wouldn't want

to, you know, just be eating
fat, but out here,

it's exactly what
the body needs,

and I'm so thankful for it.

[blowing]

That fat should really--
if we can keep it secure,

should keep us alive.

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ The big river
glitters brightly ♪

♪ In the morning sun ♪

♪ And I know
that there are fish in it ♪

♪ Living by the ton ♪

♪ But despite my best efforts ♪

♪ I catch nary one ♪

♪ If only we could
use fishnets ♪

♪ I'd catch the salmon
as they run ♪

♪ Oh, I'm here living
on a big river ♪

[chuckles]

[tense music]

♪ ♪

Well, today, I'll keep
working on Hodge Podge.

I really need the sidewalls up
before I can move in.

♪ ♪

Lots of punkwood
down below here.

I have stakes lined up,

and those will
keep the walls in place.

And then I'll start
piling stuff on top.

All right, so let's
get these three placed.

It's nice to have the logs

that are
a little more together

'cause they hold together
between the stakes

for the walls.

♪ ♪

I've spent a lot more time
working on Hodge Podge

than I probably should have.

I tend to be the type
of person that,

once something's
in front of me,

like, I just get
totally focused on it

and totally enmeshed in it.

That's what
I think is happening.

Thank you.

Mostly, I think
I want to finish the shelter,

then I can really
focus on food.

I'd like to focus
on some fishing

and see if I can get
some fish,

and also, checking snares
and setting snares.

♪ ♪

Sorry.

Almost there.

All right.

I consider
the south wall to be done.

♪ ♪

I wanted to show you
what I'm eating right now.

And it's gold.

It's Jell-O fish.

Now it's just mostly fish heads
because I've been trying

to eat the bodies first.

The oil in that soup,
it turned into a gelatin,

I guess.

I need these nutrients.

I haven't had much nutrients
in a while,

and my body's feeling better,

but I need to get more.

So today,
I need to focus on fishing.

My motto is a little bit of,
like, don't screw up.

As long as I don't screw up,
I think

I can last
quite a while out here.

♪ ♪

Okay, I'm going to fish
a little bit.

♪ ♪

Oh, wow.
There's a big crack in my rod.

I need to fix this right away.

Not good.

So I need
to put some cordage in there

to keep it together.

It's gonna be a Frankenstein
rod after all of this.

I am someone that's really,
really passionate

about being in the wilderness

and living off the land.

I was born in
a big, big city--


But fortunately,
my parents had a house

that was really close
to the forest.

And it was a lot of fun
for me,

being a kid
and just doing things outside.

I'm getting this wet again
because it makes

for a tighter splice.

I would go hunt.

I would go and trap.

And I loved it.

My mom would give me a radio
and just be like,

"Okay, I have the other radio.

Yeah, just go
and do your own thing."

♪ ♪

So I tied all
that inner cord around,

so now it will keep this
from splicing again.

♪ ♪

My survival philosophy
is all about nature,

just doing things
when it makes sense,

when it's easier.

It's all about listening,
and observing nature,

and understanding,

and then using that
to do things the smart way.

♪ ♪

Okay, I'm just gonna
do five more casts.

♪ ♪

Or ten.

What really drew me
to survival

was just hearing the stories

of these amazing feats
that humans could do

on their survival situations,

just hearing
about these stories

of people crushing any limits

that experts thought
were the limits.

They would do
the unimaginable.

And that was
so powerful to me.

That is what drew me in.

Right now, the fish
aren't biting very well.

Maybe I could go hunting.

♪ ♪

Okay, so suddenly,

the really, really cool weasel
just totally--

oh, here they are.

♪ ♪

It moves lightning fast.

♪ ♪

It stopped for a second.

But I really wanted to show you

because it's so neat.

Come on, weasel.

♪ ♪

All right.

Let's keep going.

♪ ♪

I think I heard something
by my shelter.

I'm gonna go check it out.

♪ ♪

There it is.

♪ ♪

You see that grouse?

♪ ♪

It's right now
too high for me.

♪ ♪

Okay.

Let's do it.

♪ ♪

Where are you?

[bleep]

I lost it.

♪ ♪

Oh, wow.

Look at this.

♪ ♪

This is a wounded grouse
for sure.

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

I don't know where he flew,
but that's a good wound.

That grouse can't go far.

♪ ♪

Where are you?

♪ ♪

I don't see anything.

♪ ♪

I have no idea where it flew.

♪ ♪

Ay-yi-yi, ay-yi-yi.

It was a perfect [bleep] shot
right there.

♪ ♪

I tried to nock an arrow,
and I shot.

I could have k*lled it
if I was smarter about it.

It was a mistake,
and it happened,

and I wounded that grouse.

The whole arrow
was covered in blood.

It's my first
mortally wounded grouse

that I don't recover
on this adventure,

and I don't feel
very good about it.

But it's survival.

With survival,
you just have to move on.

Learn from the mistake,
move on.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- Got it.
[sighs]

Thank you, Lord.

Beautiful bird.

[wings flapping]

Heard a grouse behind me.

♪ ♪

Yep, yep.

Holy cow!

♪ ♪

I can't believe
how much grouse is in my area.

All I have to do is be patient.

Here you go.

And this one's bigger,
bigger than the last one.

Look at that.

Two grouse, one day.

That's frickin' crazy.

♪ ♪

I love my shelter
location, man.

Feeds me, shelters me.

♪ ♪

Every time I get a grouse,
I find the wishbone.

And when I break it,
I wish for more food.

And it must be lucky
or something,

but it's working.

♪ ♪

I see another one.

♪ ♪

[arrow thuds]

Got it.

♪ ♪

What is up today?

♪ ♪

I guess I definitely
need that smoker, huh?

It's a good size.

♪ ♪

That's three grouse,

three weeks of food right here.

♪ ♪

Yesterday, I got nothing.

And today, game changer.

Big game changer.

There's plenty
of opportunities here.

Just got to be patient.

♪ ♪

Labrador, thank you.

Thank you, grouse.

I feel like I can
make it out here.

I'm very positive right now.

I feel like I'm supported
by the world.

My family supports me
even though they don't

understand why I'm doing this.

My girlfriend supports me
even though she's

gonna miss me like heck.

Okay.
That's one beautiful breast.

There are just so many
friends of mine

who are involved
in this process.

So I do feel
a component of home.

I do feel so supported.

I feel like
I'm supported by the world.

I feel like
I can make it out here.

I think
we're all set to go home.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Good morning.

Well,

I came out this morning,
I'm brushing my teeth,

and we got snow
on the north-facing side

of that ridgeline.

So we got snow last night,

so it's a good time
[chuckles]

to be getting Hodge Podge
finished.

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

I'm just gonna show you
what I've been doing.

So this is
the overall fire pit.

I've got rocks in the back

and punkwood
covered with rocks.

I've got a few more rocks
to throw in there

right now over the bottom.

And then this
is the air vent I made.

And you can see light
down at the bottom.

So that's where the air
comes in for my fire.

I think we are looking
pretty darn golden.

I feel winter in the air.

Like, I feel snow coming.

That's a bit concerning.

It means I really want
to get that roof finished.

And then I should be able
to move in.

Cool.

♪ ♪

Gonna go get some moss.

♪ ♪

Coming in, I was the heaviest
I've ever been in my life.

I was like 172, 173 pounds.

Good to get down
to me size again. [chuckles]

I'm feeling good
that I'm thinner,

but at the same time,
I'm hungry.

And I know I'm losing weight
pretty quick.

♪ ♪

Putting more sod on the roof.

I still feel strong,
but I spent a lot

of weight making my shelter.

That's something
that's concerning me a lot.

My hope is that once
I get the lodge done,

then I can start
to put a lot more energy

into getting more food.

On our side, and we stand up.

This is a calorie game,

and if I don't start bringing
in calories at some point,

I'm not gonna stay
in the game.

Yay!

My work here is done.

So moving day is tomorrow.

♪ Hallelujah,
hallelujah, hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪

♪ ♪

- I love it here.

So thankful to be here
looking out.

I mean, every time I'm here,
it's completely different.

It's the clearest view
of the mountain

we've had
in three or four days.

[soft music]

Haven't spent
much time down here

'cause I've been
processing the beaver.

♪ ♪

Sure would like to make this
part of our daily routine,

just sit, and be quiet,
and appreciate.

♪ ♪

Every day is such a privilege.

Every day is such a gift.

And I appreciate it so much.

There's so much
to be thankful for.

Sure can't forget to smile.

Don't forget to smile, please.

♪ ♪

Eating the beaver has changed
everything in a positive way.

I feel so much stronger,

so much better
cognitive memory,

so much more energy.

I feel warmer
and just generally better.

♪ ♪

But it's not
an indefinite amount of food.

I still need
to keep harvesting.

I still need to keep
hunting, foraging, fishing.

But it's a new lease on life.

It gives me another day
to learn about this place,

to learn about myself.

It's a real gift.

♪ ♪

Today, I'd like
to explore just a little bit.

But we've got something
super important to do first.

And we're gonna try
to find a real pretty spot.

♪ ♪

Out here, for me,
the attitude of gratitude

is paramount for happiness.

My mother is
such an inspiration,

and she's so great
at appreciating things.

I watched that growing up,
and that inspired me.

♪ ♪

I'd just love to show her
just a tiny, little example

of what she means to me.

♪ ♪

The reason I paused here
is because I want to do

a dedication to my mother.

I love her so much,
and I'm so proud of her,

and I'm so proud to know her,

so proud
to be associated with her,

to call her my mother,
for her to call me son.

But she's got this saying,
this exclamation,

and I don't know
where it comes from.

She says, "Golly Ned!"

♪ ♪

Well, she used
to say it quite often.

And I would tell her,
a gully is a ravine, often,

a little valley or ravine.

Well, we're in

a truly stunningly
beautiful ravine here.

She really likes streams,
and so do I.

We share that.
It makes me think of her.

I'd like to dedicate
this little spot

and call it "Golly Ned."

♪ ♪

Well, Mother,
this is thinking of you,

and I sure love you,

and I sure am sorry
about all the wild stories

you might hear
and the stress that may cause,

but I do the best that I can.

And you inspire me,

and I love you,
and I miss you,

and I hope
you're having a great day.

And...

♪ ♪

I sure love you.

♪ ♪

So I hope you enjoy it

as much as I do.

♪ ♪

Thank you, Mother,
for everything.

I'm living my dream
thanks to you.

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- All right.

Just a little bit of blood

on the inside.

No big bleeding in the gums.

Today's a big day
'cause we're gonna

make that second shelter
by the beach.

Beach day.

It's not raining,
so excited about that.

We're going to the shoreline.

I'm gonna down the biggest tree

that I've downed
since I've gotten here,

about, uh, thigh thick.

And then we're going
to make a lean-to.

♪ ♪

I don't want
to be smoking my meat

and attracting the wrong type
of animals to my site.

Man, I feel that ring
right through my hand

when I do that.

So I think I'm gonna
go to the beach,

build a secondary shelter

that can also double
as a smokehouse.

There you go.

♪ ♪

That way,
if I need to smoke anything,

it's well away
from my primary shelter.

♪ ♪

Let's dig a little bit.

♪ ♪

And hey,
if it attracts a bear,

this is the right place
to k*ll it.

A little roof,
so I can enter there and cook.

Now I'm done.

♪ ♪

See that?

Roasting the goods.

♪ ♪

Now I am very comfortable.

♪ ♪

I don't see any fat dropping
or dripping from the skin,

so that makes me really happy.

♪ ♪

Today, I have dinner of scraps,
and skin,

and two hearts.

Two hearts and a liver.

I'm pretty happy with that.

♪ ♪

- It's moving day.
Whoo-hoo!

After a few days
of having a fire in there,

and drying things out,
and warming things up,

it's gonna be pretty nice.

♪ ♪

Today, full day.

Check snares.

I didn't get any squirrels.

And I'm hungry.

Of course I'm hungry.

How sweet would it be
to catch a fish tonight

and be able to celebrate
in Hodge Podge?

Come on.

It's crazy thinking
it's already been a month.

Time really gets distorted
doing stuff like this.

I have been thinking
about home

and my boyfriend, Blake.

Just miss doing things
with him, you know?

It's so cushy up here.

It's cushy
on my bow bed right now.

And I wonder what he's up to.

What's life been like
while I've been gone?

All right, tarp.

Just being able to share
with someone at the end

of the day is really awesome
and one of the best things,

I think,
about being in a relationship.

I miss him.

I got a tarp covering!

Whoo-hoo!

And now I'm gonna
just work on fishing.

♪ ♪

Give it a go in here
and see if I can get something.

If I were getting more
squirrel with the snares,

that'd be fantastic,
but I'm not.

Sneaky, no?

Trying to be sneaky.

If I could still be
maintaining some food income

and catch a couple fish,
great.

But it feels
out-balanced right now

that I'm spending more time
working on the lodge

than I am on food,

or at least
successfully getting food.

I can't cast.

♪ ♪

Kind of in a pissy mood, man.

Just really hungry
tonight still.

I wanted to celebrate
by having a good meal.

♪ ♪

But it's the first fire
in Hodge Podge.

♪ ♪

And that's a special thing.

♪ ♪

Thank you.

Not much to eat over a month.

[laughs]

So I know I've been using
a lot of my own weight

and energy,

but I'm surviving.

I'm probably gonna want
to figure out

some way to get more food.

♪ ♪

All right.

First fire in Hodge Podge.

♪ ♪

Hopefully many more to come.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Check this out.

Do you see that squirrel?

He's working hard,

getting ready for the winter.

It's coming.

It's coming whether
we want it or not.

Work away, squirrel.

Work away.

♪ ♪

So I'm gonna go
on a short hunting trip,

just checking for tracks.

♪ ♪

I'm already used
to being separated

from family and friends.

All my close friends
are in Mexico.

And that's tough, man.

But I know that right now,
I'm here,

and I'm doing this
for a reason.

I want the money
to fulfill my dream

and my partner's dream.

♪ ♪

Whoa.

♪ ♪

Crazy.

So take a look at that.

This is the grouse
that I had shot.

♪ ♪

So it must have stayed on top
of some tree around here,

and maybe an animal just
got it and left the rest here.

♪ ♪

I guess that's unfortunate
that I injured this grouse,

but at least I'm gonna
get some of that meat.

Well, I'm glad I found it.

Very glad I found it.

♪ ♪

Oh, there's the weasel.

Can you see it?

Hey, weasel.

Hey, weasel.
Were you eating that grouse?

That's mine.

That's--no!
That's mine.

♪ ♪

That's mine.

♪ ♪

Oh, wow.

I shot that weasel.

It was a good shot.

Poor weasel.

I didn't know
I was actually gonna hit you.

You're so fast.

I'm sorry.

Oh, man.

Ay-yi-yi.

I'm sorry, weasel.

I'm gonna try
to do a very good job

of keeping your fur intact.

And I'm gonna gift it,
if I can, to my partner.

♪ ♪

I screwed up.

♪ ♪

The morale boost
of the weasel versus the food

that I'm gonna get from it,
not worth it.

Not worth it at all.

Survival is not easy.

♪ ♪

It's time
that I talk to other people

about this stuff
other than my partner.

I'm so thankful

for Jennifer.

I'm so lucky
to have a partner like her.

My life would be a mess
without her.

She seriously withstands
so much of my crap,

so much of my crap.

Thinking about my partner.

I miss her a lot.

♪ ♪

We've been together
for, like, seven years.

♪ ♪

I know that I should be

strong enough

to be able to live without her,

but I fear that moment.

I think if she died,

it would be
incredibly devastating for me.

It would cr*pple me.

I haven't asked her
to marry me

because I don't have money,

which is no excuse.

Like, so many people have
married without having money.

But I think the fact
that I'm scraping by,

it's quite relevant because
it's one of the reasons I...

I'm going the whole way.

Because I'm tired of scraping
by financially, you know?

I'm tired.

I've been tolerating that
for years,

but that's enough for me.

♪ ♪

- The thing right now is just
to finish the damn shelter.

[bleep]

I probably should not
be doing this, but...

♪ ♪

Oh, my goodness.

♪ ♪

What the [bleep]?

Oh, my God.

♪ ♪