09x07 - The Birds

[bunniefuu]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Here we are
at the cache smokehouse,

just pure elation.

I mean, this is such a gift.

- I heard a grouse behind me.

Yep. Yep, I see another one.

That's three grouse.

- Something is not right.

I have some kind
of gut parasite.

- Kind of in a pissy mood.

I'm just really hungry.

Here, fishy, fishy, fishy.

Look. Oh, my God.

Get on the shore! Whew, nice!


- Around the bend
is where the beaver dam is.

♪ ♪

Where are you?

If I didn't hit it well,
it's gonna just tear me up,

but I guess
I could have missed.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- I can't wait to have
this place try and break me.

narrator: For the first time
on "Alone,"

to survive

in the hunting ground

of the world's largest
land predator.

- Oh, my God, where'd he go?

Those are bear.

- I heard a big animal.

- Hey, bear.
- Oh, no. [bleep].

[animal huffing]
- Sometimes, you eat the bear.

Sometimes, the bear eats you.

narrator:
Battling merciless conditions.

- This is some
hard-core bushwhacking.

- Why does it have to be
such a struggle every night?

- I hit it.
I hit it. I hit it.

- Feel more alive
every day I'm out here.

- [sighs]

- Here comes the rain again.

- Labrador, you're not gonna
make it easy for us, are you?

narrator:
In complete isolation...

- The most dangerous
thing out here is myself.

- Look at that!

- The cold ground
is just pulling

all the warmth from me.

- How many days can this go on?

- Very, very hungry.

- I feel like
I'm hitting a wall.

narrator:
Last one standing wins.

- Only gonna get harder
the longer you stay out here.

♪ ♪

[mellow acoustic music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ They say that
on the "Alone" show ♪

♪ The food is mighty fine ♪

♪ Well, how the heck
would I know? ♪

♪ I can't find much of mine ♪

♪ They say that
on the "Alone" show ♪

♪ The beverage mighty fine ♪

♪ My water
looks like tannic acid ♪

♪ And tastes
like turpentine ♪

Yuck!

♪ ♪

♪ They say that
on the "Alone" show ♪

♪ Your image mighty fine ♪

♪ Now I look like
Flat Stanley ♪

♪ And walk like Frankenstein ♪

[groans]

♪ I'm getting very skinny ♪

♪ But I don't want to go ♪

♪ No ♪

No!

All right, that sounded awful.

My voice sounds awful.

I sound like a horse,

but no disrespect to horses.

I just figured we ought
to have some fun this morning.

We're gonna call that
a wrap on the skit.

A wrap.
Boy, that sounds fantastic.

So does a gyro.

All right,
I'm ready to switch gears.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

All right, got our beaver hide
from the smokehouse cache,

so I'm just going to get
all the hunks of fat

from this incredible animal,

which there is a tremendous
amount still on here.

And I want to stretch the hide,
dry the hide to preserve it

and just to make sure that
it is sanitized, if you will.

♪ ♪

And we're gonna start with
these big, beautiful chunks

of incredible, edible fat.

I'm eating
substantially more of it today

than I did yesterday,

and I ate substantially
more yesterday

than I did the day before that.

I mean, I ate
most of the beaver

in the last 10 days,

and we're gonna run out
of jerky

before we run out of fat,
the way I've been eating it

just to keep the stomach

somewhat able
to handle the fat.

But I'm just aware
that I'm deteriorating,

so I got to throw everything
at this weight loss.

Does it make survival sense?

Probably not.

But it's the way
my body operates,

and we've got
to respect the body

the best we can out here.

I think it's very important
to be self-aware.

That's one reason I really
enjoy pushing myself.

How do you know
how far you can push

if you haven't reached it?

And I come
to the finish line...

I do not want my vehicle

to be immaculate and clean
and scar-free.

I want to come
wheels falling off,

engine missing, throwing fuel
and smoke and flame,

and I want to skid across
the finish line sideways.

♪ ♪

Such a magnificent hide.

Finally got it fleshed out
sufficiently.

We've got some wire here,
a couple holes from the Aero.

Just work on getting it
roughly hung

so it has better air
circulation, dries better.

Put the lid on everything,
cover it really well

with spruce boughs to try
to keep any moisture off.

We're gonna work our way
back towards camp,

get a flame going,
and then get an ember.

We'll come back
and put some smoke to it.

All right, well, there it is.

[chuckles]

Not forgetting to smile
over that, I tell you.

♪ ♪

- That's nice.

Looking good.

I just finished
all the water I had

in the pot from last night.

The water cache
looks pretty full.

Release the line,

keep holding the line...

get pot approximately where
I think water might drain.

It's working.

[laughs] I'm getting this.

Sweet.

Yay, water cache!

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

So now I'm gonna be,
basically, filling in walls.

Just want to keep drafts
from coming in.

♪ ♪

There's more to do, it seems.

But hodgepodge will get done

when hodgepodge
is supposed to get done.

♪ ♪

Kinda fit in there.

As a kid, I had a lot
of emotional suffering.

My mom is an incredibly
loving, wonderful woman,

but part of it was me trying
to create the perfect image

and just be a good girl,
do what you're told.

And that quitting never
really even entered my mind.

You can go right here.

And now
you're in the wilderness.

You're in the middle
of nowhere.

You can curl up and die,
or you can keep going.

[exhales sharply]
More debris.

You just gotta keep going.

♪ ♪

All good?

Getting enough debris to fill
in that many cubic feet

is a lot, so I need
to be more conservative

and just not try
to do things fast.

I just gotta push
through the suffering,

and eventually, it'll be okay.

Maybe I'm too optimistic,

but I'm very hopeful,

and I feel like I have
the skills and the ability

to win it.

And that's my goal.

Here's the whole wall.

That whole stretch.

It's about 12 feet.

Hodgepodge walls being finished
is within reach.

We're getting close.

Without challenge,
there's no growth.

There's no black
without white.

And there's something
that comes

on a spiritual level

when we're stripped down
to our basic self,

when all the masks,
all the convenience,

all of that is stripped away,

and I feel like that's
when I'm the most alive.

What kind of animal

Jesse might be
cooking up tonight?

It's a squirrel!

[laughs]

However, this one is unusual

'cause when I went
up to the snare,

he just looked so bedraggled.

♪ ♪

But the poor little guy, like,

I was going to, like,
skin him out,

and, like, literally
his head fell off.

Like, that's how hard
something was really trying

to get ahold of this guy.

There's all these little
teeth marks in it.

Something else came
and, like, was able to yank

hard enough to snap the wire.

It's gotta be a fox.

I don't think
I've ever eaten fox.

I've eaten coyote.

I don't mind
eating the canines.

Don't worry,
your pets are safe with me.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[sizzling]

- What we have here
is a collection

of deep fried beaver fat bits.

I'm just trying to pick out
the crispy bits that are meat.

[crunching] Oh, yeah.

So I'm gonna try and mix some
bits with the rendered fat.

And you got
the melt-in-your-mouth fat.

You got
the bacon bit-esque crunch.

I know I'm losing
more than a pound a day,

but I'm losing it a lot slower.

I'm definitely getting
enough fat in,

enough of it that your stomach
is like, "Okay..."

"That's enough at this point."

You know,
I can palm a basketball,

and I'm eating
more rendered fat

than would fit
in the palm of my hand.


I mean, I eat that
a couple times a day right now.

Ever since I got this beaver,

I've had such a responsibility

to preserve it in every way,

and that's the project

that takes
all of my waking moments,

other than attempting
to keep up with hydration.

But I am acutely aware
that this is not the way

you sustain yourself
long-term.

I just feel lethargic.

Like, as goofy as it sounds,

it almost feels like
my blood's thick.

So I need to focus on hunting
and fishing

and things of such natures.

♪ ♪

- Come on, man.

[wings fluttering]

That was a grouse.

[bleep].

♪ ♪

Just gotta keep my eye open.

Should come down to feed
eventually.

♪ ♪

[flapping]

There we go.

♪ ♪

[bow string twangs]

♪ ♪

Oh, man.

♪ ♪

[chuckling]

Hell yeah.

♪ ♪

Just like that,

sometimes your dinner
wanders into camp

while you're cutting wood.

[laughs]

My stomach feels better.

That was really draining me
for a while there.

Already got a grouse.

I'm feeling nothing
but good vibes today.

[wings flapping]

Oh, holy [bleep].

There's a second one.

♪ ♪

Perfect. Perfect.
Perfect.

Stay right on that one.

♪ ♪

[bow string twangs]

Holy [bleep].

[gasps] Oh, my God.

[chuckles]

Oh, thank you,
sweet little bird.

♪ ♪

Two birds,

without even leaving
the front yard.

♪ ♪

What a day.

♪ ♪

Okay, we're gonna go down
to the river and pluck.

♪ ♪

Very curious to know
if I'm the only one

that's been so lucky
with these grouse.

I mean, I say lucky.

I've been working my a*s off
as well.

What do they say?

Luck is where preparation
and opportunity meet.

♪ ♪

All right,
we'll start on this guy.

Just keep sending them,
Labrador.

Ooh.

Cold winds.

A portent of things to come.

♪ ♪

I love it out here.

I'm looking forward to seeing
the landscape covered in snow.

I feel that coming soon.

But I miss my family terribly.

Plucking chickens back home,
I drop them in hot water first.

Makes the feathers
come out easier.

When you're on "Alone,"

you have no way of knowing

your family is okay
or not okay,

and that does weigh
on your mind.

♪ ♪

But I'm not lonely.

I don't care to be
around just anybody

for the sake of having
other human beings around me.

And, ironically, I feel

much closer to my loved ones.

It will not be a reason
for me to tap out.

♪ ♪

All right.

We're gonna mosey on back
to the house.

[exhales]

[snapping]

What the hell was that?

♪ ♪

What the [bleep]?

♪ ♪

Oh, my God.

♪ ♪

Holy [bleep].

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Check--look at this.

[chuckles]

That's a chunk
of floating dock.

You know how useful
that could be?

I mean, my--my mind's already
flooded with possibilities.

Let's go take a look.

I think I can come in
from the other side.

♪ ♪

So I've been here a month,

and I haven't found
any man-made anything,

and I was truly
starting to think

that I was in a pure,
untouched wilderness.

And then suddenly, I find

one of the most useful
pieces of trash

that I could ever think
about finding.

Man, I am one lucky SOB.

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

I know what some of you
are thinking.

Stick that sucker
back out onto the river,

and you got yourself
a boat or a dock

that you could fish off of.

Mm-mm.

As a sailor and a boat builder,

this thing ain't gonna float.

But the universe
has handed a carpenter

a bunch of boards and nails.

[chuckles]

Oh, I'm so stoked.

Labrador delivering again.

We'll take a couple boards home
now.

I don't feel like
the dock could have landed

on a better shore.

I've got the imagination,
and I got the skills

to put them good use.

Oh, man,
some good nails in here.

♪ ♪

Immediately, I'm thinking,
okay, I'm far from home.

I want to be able
to make my site feel

as homey as possible.

Moss House is about
to level up, y'all.

♪ ♪

Couldn't ask
for a better present,

other than maybe
everybody else tapping out

and me winning
half a million dollars.

♪ ♪

But this is a good second.

♪ ♪

- So I'm making a lamp

'cause it gets dark in here.

And I know that sounds silly,

but just bear with me.

You gotta be real gentle
with this mushroom

because anywhere you
bruise it on the underside,

it turns brown,

and I need it white
to reflect the light.

♪ ♪

I wouldn't be doing this
if it wasn't dark

and I could be doing
something else

like working on the shelter.

♪ ♪

Headlamp, she sits in here.

[chuckles victoriously]

Look at that.

Yes.

I'm gonna turn the infrared off

just so you can see
the difference.

Look, you can see me.

How about that [bleep]
right there?

Isn't that so much nicer
for you all to look at

than the crazy psycho vision?

That stuff is just
so spooky, man.

♪ ♪

I'm awfully hungry,

but I'm a little bit concerned

about the shelter
'cause it just goes so slow.

I wonder if that's
gonna be enough.

Let's see how far they go.

So try to put some
shelter worries behind me,

and then I can focus
more on the hunts

'cause I don't want to get
tired trying to do both.

Yoink.

If I trip over this rock one
more time without moving it...

All right, we're gonna do

weaving and stuffing piles.

I'd always rather hunt,

but it's probably
the right thing to do.

I know it goes something
like that.

♪ ♪

Trying to be a grown-up.

But I don't feel
like a grown-up out here,

I feel like Tom Sawyer
and Huck Finn combined.

Okay, that'll do.

That part of this experience
has been pretty awesome,

the freedom,
the lack of worry,

the break from things like
work and bills and emails.

I feel made whole
by this experience.

♪ ♪

This is the original
human lifestyle.

I want people to get outside
and just be humbled by it.

Will that work?

I'm so lucky to have this time
in this beautiful place.

Just that mindset,

I'm gonna keep that
when I go home.

Super nice.

Thank you for spending
the morning with me.

I feel like I just started
the "Mr. Rogers Show."

"Hello, neighbor."

No neighbors out here, man.

♪ ♪




That's what I've eaten.

And about a bazillion
bunchberries

and some mushrooms.


That's 82 eyeballs.

It's really not
enough calories.

It's total feast or famine,
and I'm living hand to mouth.

I'm living paycheck
to paycheck, if you will.

You know,
I'm getting a piece of food,

and I'm just immediately
cooking and eating it.

♪ ♪

I'm getting skinny,
but I'm getting beast.

My legs from walking
these hills, man,

I got legs like a cyclist.

[chirping]

[dramatic music]

Just heard a squirrel.

[chirping]

Where are you,
you little bugger?

[chirping, whistling]

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Iced that sucker.

Good grief.

That was a good shot,
I'd say so myself.

♪ ♪

Hm, more food.

♪ ♪

I guess I'll graze
my way on home.

[crunching]

♪ ♪

[wings flapping]

Hang on a second.

I heard a grouse.

♪ ♪

They're so difficult to spot.

♪ ♪

[whispering]
There he is right there

on the ground.

♪ ♪

Yes, sir.

Can't tell you
how impatient I am

to get these cooked.

♪ ♪

I'm excited about food.

I'm sure this looks so gross
to everybody back home,

but I'm telling you,

I've tasted them
three different ways.

This is the way.

♪ ♪

See, you're not
eating the hair.

♪ ♪

The hair is gone.

♪ ♪

Or it will be gone

by the time
the squirrel is done.

♪ ♪

I'm not lonely out here.

There's so much life
around me.

There's so much to do
and think about.

I find myself to be
really content out here

and thinking about how special
my childhood really was.

And when the skin
starts to crack

like a hog on a spit,

it's done.

Taking the things
that I learned in Africa

and adapting them to Labrador
is really fascinating to me.

Wild places are vanishing,

so it's important to focus
on the ethics of hunting.

I want to create a more modern
day image of the hunter,

the hunter that cares
about conservation,

the hunter that honors
the game

with the way that he cooks
and presents the food.

They're full of cartilage.

♪ ♪

Oh, yeah, when the joint
just pops like that,

you know it's done.

♪ ♪

Fortunately,
we're moving into a movement

where hunters are chefs.

Hunters are white collar guys

looking to escape
their lifestyle

and get more connected
to the land.

It's cooked to perfection.

♪ ♪

- Good morning!

[chuckles]

Gotta go a little lower.
[chuckles]

I've got berry butt!

[laughs]

I'm making my fruit leather,

and I did want to share
the process.

♪ ♪

I keep checking my traps
and trying to hunt

and coming home with nothing,

so to preserve these berries,

I'm making fruit leather

so it will carry on
to the wintertime.

I'll have those berries
when it gets cold

and there are no berries.

It's going rather well.

So it's just on a slow simmer,
which, yeah, is a process.

♪ ♪

Look how red that is.

And this is my berry masher.

You don't want any chunks

'cause they're really
hard to dry.

I just want as much puree
as possible.

To make the fruit leather
is a full day process,

so it's a commitment.

When I cook the berries,

I have to cook them down

as thick
as it possibly can get.

All the water moisture content
out so it's thicker than jam.

Okay, back on the stove.

♪ ♪

To be out here
is a little more hardcore,

but at the same time,

it's what I do at home
in the fall.

I'm putting up food.

I'm making fruit leather,
making fruit jam.

If you leave the lid off,
then the water can start

evaporating out of there.

And at home, I'm alone a lot.

I live alone. I work alone.

And I'm constantly go, go, go
and never rest.

Now, that's some awesome sauce.

I'm always doing something,

and I was feeling like, "I'm
not gonna do that anymore."

I want to spend more time
with my friends

and not isolate myself
so much.

♪ ♪

On the sides
where it's getting dry...

you have fruit leather.

I don't know how long

one can survive
on just berries,

but if I don't start
getting some meat--

[laughs]

Okay, back on the fire.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Got myself a good little
sitting spot here.

I feel like I'm waiting
for a bus.

[chuckles]

All right,
next item on the agenda.

♪ ♪

Moss House is gonna get
a proper door.

♪ ♪

So the plan is,

keep these four rigid,

this cross beam,

and connect them together

with the smaller ones.

♪ ♪

[sawing]

I'm not going
for something fancy.

I'm going for something solid.

That means
I don't need hinges.

It's just gonna be something
that I can slip into place

in the evenings
to keep them warmth in

and to potentially
keep bears out as well.

I'm building a door
that would slow them down

enough for me to blast them
from the window.

Huh, nice.

Don't want to lose
any of these precious nails.

For me, this is such
a psychological necessity.

♪ ♪

I miss home.

But riding the emotional
ups and downs,

that's an aspect of survival.

♪ ♪

That, my friends,
is a back country door.

We're gonna keep on going,

see how far
this train's gonna take us.

Hopefully all the way
to Moneyville, USA.

And I couldn't be happier
with my shelter.

It's cozy. It's warm.

It feels safe,
and it feels sturdy enough

to keep me in the game

when the skinny ones
have tapped.

♪ ♪

Okay, so the door
is pretty much done.

Old dock door
on old Moss House.

Hell yeah.

♪ ♪

- That's so cool.

Right above me here,
there's some species of bird

I've never seen before,

never heard,
don't recognize at all.

Let's see
if I can find it here.

Where you at?

Ah, there we go, perfect.

Well, thanks a lot
for cooperating.

♪ ♪

I love seeing new wildlife,
new birds.

Super excited.
That is absolutely fantastic.

♪ ♪

Hi, little bird.

Hope you're having a great day.

I sure appreciate you
gracing me with your presence.

[bird chirps]

♪ ♪

We're going to try
to slowly work our way down

to the river,

set up there at the first place
we caught a fish

on location.

♪ ♪

We can be so blessed,
lucky, and fortunate.

My clothing's fitting looser.

I need to put
another hole in the belt.

Even my hat is fitting looser,
which is a trip to me.

But I am still confident
that I can stay

for an appreciable
amount of time.

♪ ♪

I think I got a couple
teeny, tiny, little strips

of jerky left.

I say we could use
some protein.

♪ ♪

It's a wonderful, wonderful day
to be fishing.

The two best times
are when it's raining

and when it's not,

so any day is the right day
to go fishing.

♪ ♪

Really feeling the hunger,
the thunger.

Feeling the thunger,
the thirsty-hungry.

♪ ♪

I'm still so thankful
to be out here,

but I am noticing
my body changing.

My stamina? Way, way lower.

I'm constantly thirsty,

and if I stand up
a little too fast,

I get really lightheaded.

I can barely even walk.

I get really weak and shaky.

Sure didn't fish very long.

But I've just gotta
be careful,

so I'm gonna do it in slow,
short, little increments.

♪ ♪

I just want to go sit

and just be.

My stomach has sharper pains,

as well as just the nausea
and the queasiness.

I've got a feeling dehydration
is a big part of it,

but so is starvation.

Even with all that fat,
but honestly,

I think it's necessary
to feel pain and discomfort.

I think that we're fed
this narrative

we're meant to seek comfort.

I don't think that's right.

I think it robs determination
from the soul.

I think it robs strength
from the mind.

You know, it's not like
I'm purposefully seeking out

an upset stomach,

but I do put myself
in situations

where that is an outcome.

But I still think it's a gift.

I think it can give
perspective.

So to be here
is a true, true privilege.

It has just brought me
so much joy,

and the clarity, and the focus
you can achieve out here.

So with that,

let's slowly, slowly

work our way back to camp.

Sure not forgetting to smile.

We may not feel our best,

but we came out here
expecting that.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Nobody likes
a lackluster fire.

Think it's complaining

'cause it's already done
its job for the day,

made tea early this morning.

You don't have any coals
underneath you.

I see.

Why didn't you just say so?

♪ ♪

I can feel the fatigue.

I'm eating a lot,

but I'm still getting
real thin,

so, you know, we gotta get
more food in somehow.

♪ ♪

[bird calling]

I hear my whisky jack.

I got a theory about my trap.

♪ ♪

I'm employing
an Ojibwe bird snare.

These birds are just
making a fool of me,

and there's this one
in particular

that's exceptionally smart.

He triggers it repeatedly.

Folks, none of these traps work
if you don't adapt them

to the animal
or the environment.

That's the thing.

The noose was falling away
from under his feet,

so I'm trying to get it to...

sit up.

We're gonna try it.

♪ ♪

The beaver tanked me
for, like, a week,

and it really messed me up
out here.

After that,
I had a really bad week

where I think
I only shot two things,

so that doesn't work for me.

I just set the trap,
and it's way better.

If he steps in the noose,
I think we got him.

♪ ♪

All right, we're off
to stagger, stumble, and trip

through the woods.

Adventure.

♪ ♪

We are on the lookout for...

clean Icelandic moss.

Clean witch's hair,

grouse, squirrels,
bunchberries,

what have you.

Here's pretty clean stuff
right there.

Still frozen.
It's kind of hard to...

peel up when it's frozen.

♪ ♪

All right, back to home.

Found nothing else.

Head on down the mountain.

I try to zig zag down to camp

a different way each time,

hoping to stumble
across something.

♪ ♪

We're triggered on our trap.

♪ ♪

I don't see
a whisky jack, though.

♪ ♪

I see what happened.

♪ ♪

Noose didn't tighten up.

This damn knot stopped it.

The sad thing is...

he's crushing me at the game,

and he doesn't even know
he's playing.

So it continues.

♪ ♪

- All you Canadians out there
and people who love Canada,

check this out:
just follow the rock.

Normal rock, follow it.

Goes up.

I couldn't bring
the Canadian flag with me,

but I got the next best thing.

Ta-da!

So I got a little Canadian flag
for my shelter.

And let's spruce it up,
shall we?

Oh, Canada.

Beautiful, beautiful,
beautiful country.

Would you look at that?

I think that completes it.

I don't know.
That's pretty cool.

I like that.

It's gonna boost my spirits,

and...

We're just about ready
for that late morning hunt.

So let me put on my quiver.

♪ ♪

In the coming weeks,
I think food

is gonna be
a little scarce, so...

every day is a hunting day now.

♪ ♪

[squirrel chirping]

There's a squirrel.

All right.

So we got one up here,

one over there.

I'm just gonna get
these guys ready.

Right here, right here.

♪ ♪

Right there.

[dramatic music]

[bleep].

♪ ♪

He went up the tree,
but he's coming down.

♪ ♪

Nope, still moving.

♪ ♪

Come down.

That's it. Come down.

[bleep].

Here it is.

We got a squirrel, finally.

Look at that.

We're eating squirrel tonight.

Let's get some stuff ready,
go to the beach,

gut this guy out...

And yeah.

♪ ♪

All right, to the beach.

♪ ♪

When I first signed up
for this challenge,

I thought it was
to challenge myself.

The more that I think about it

and how much
I want to push myself,

I couldn't do this
if it was just for me.

I want to do it for the people

that I love at home,
specifically my mom.

I just want it to open nicely
so I can...

Savor it.

♪ ♪

It's pretty funny what you
think of when you're out here.

I was remembering
a moment in my childhood.

I remember riding
in my mom's black Acura,

and she asked me, "What do you
want to do when you grow up?"

And I said, "I want to be
like Indiana Jones

or like a modern day pirate."

And I remember what she said.

"That's great, son.

"No matter what you choose,

"as long as
you're happy with it,

I'll be proud of you."

Just catch all the squirrel
in the area,

hopefully run into some grouse,

and we're golden.

My mom, she would fight
for me no matter what.

If something was wrong,

if something needed
to be done,

I could always count
on her being there,

and I remember her being such
a powerful, courageous woman.

Incredibly kind,
and she always puts people

in front of herself,
even strangers.

But over the years,
I've seen life beat her down.

Unhealthy relationships,
six figures of debt

for over 30 years,

an insurmountable amount of
responsibilities and pressure.

That's done.

And I've watched her health
go down the drain.

And she's one
of the main reasons

I wanted to be a doctor,

to figure out
how I could help her.

It takes an incredible
amount of strength

to do what she has done,

and I want to remind her
of that.

I'll sun that.

Because everything I do
out here, how hard I push,

that's just a fraction
of what she's taught me,

so it's time for me to stop
trying to be a good doctor...

♪ ♪

And I need to try
to be a better son.

And she deserves

to fight for a life

that is better
than what she has.

♪ ♪

And if this journey of mine

can inspire her,

that would be worth
more than the money.

That's why I'm here.

That's why I'll stay.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Today is my mom's birthday,
whoo!

I've been counting down
the days.

[exhales]

Oh, wait, I got
a piece of birthday cake.

Hang on.

It's fudge pudding cake

with lichen birthday candles
on it.

[chuckles]

Ah.

Make a wish, Mom.

[blows]

Happy birthday.

I love you, and I miss you.

And I hope you and Dad
are doing well.

And...

I just wanted to let you know

I've been thinking about you
a lot.

And when I do,
I just feel warm hugs,

and I just wanna--I'm so
grateful for all the support

that you've given me

and for all the wild,
crazy stuff

that I do that,
you know...

[laughing]

Whether you understand
what I do or not,

you still support me
and love me.

And I really feel that.

[crying]

[sniffles]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

I'm gonna go check my traps

if I want some dinner tonight,

hopefully get some.

♪ ♪

I really need
to focus on getting food.

I mean, I would love
to catch something for dinner

for my mom's birthday.

♪ ♪

My mom,
she and I are very opposite,

but she's the quiet,
shy, soft-spoken, very sweet,

very compassionate,
and I love her.

[gasps]

Oh, my God,

I got one.

Holy [bleep], it worked.

Oh, my God, after
all that frustration, wow.

♪ ♪

[bleep].

[laughing]

Look, Mom! [chuckles]

I got a squirrel
for your birthday dinner!

♪ ♪

I can't believe it.

♪ ♪

It seems to be the theme here.

For every frustrating day,

something exciting happens too.

I'm very determined.

When I have something
in my mind

that this is what
I'm gonna do, I do it.

♪ ♪

Mmm, oh, my God.

I don't plan on coming out
unless I'm taken out...

or I win. [laughs]

Mmm, I love squirrel.

Wow.

It's amazing, amazing they
don't sell squirrel in stores.

Mmm.

Now, this is gonna make
my body strong.

Again, happy birthday, Mom.

Bon appétit.

Hope you ate as well as I did.

I hope you enjoyed
the birthday cake.

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

- Good morning.

I got the message
that today's med check,

and since I've got
this big fire,

the biggest fire
I've had in here,

and it's warmer
than it usually is,

I haven't seen myself
for a while,

and I probably should not
be doing this,

but I just gotta know.

I'm so weak.

It hurts.

It hurts to breathe.

♪ ♪

Oh, my goodness.

♪ ♪

I should be four times this.

I have--

I've never been able
to do that.

I've never seen this.

I feel like I can see
the bone structure.

I am very concerned

about the amount
of weight I'm losing,

but I can slow it down.

♪ ♪

The last 10 years,
I have had the privilege

of pushing my body,

and every once in a while,
it pushes back.

I survived a plane crash
in the Amazon.

I fell through the ice
ice-fishing, 20 below zero.

Pulled myself out,
hiked out 11 miles

to drive myself
two hours to the hospital.

So not to sound arrogant,

but I would not label this
as hard for me.

I think I'll be out here
for quite a while.

♪ ♪

Gotta keep going.

♪ ♪

- Step on.

[thermometer beeping]

- Just to walk

are you completely
out of breath?

- No, but I get light-headed
if I bend over too quickly.

- Any nausea at all?

- Yeah, and then
some sharp pains as well.

Like, sharp.

- Okay.

[groans]

Oh, that was
a little painful there.

Oh.

- Thank you.

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Terry, we're concerned
about your condition.

The biggest concern

is you're showing significant
signs of dehydration.

You're having some fever,

abdominal pains that indicate
a parasitic infection.

Signs are showing
dramatic decline physically.

You could put yourself
in some serious risk.

It's just not being safe
for you to operate out here.

I'm gonna have to extract you
from the field

for medical reasons.

- So soon.

So much still
to experience and...

Learn.

[somber music]

♪ ♪

Sorry to everybody.

I don't feel that I represented

hunters or fishers,

and I'm sorry to Alaskans
and West Virginians.

I, uh...

♪ ♪

As bad as I hate to admit it,

yeah, I hit my edge.

I hit the limit.

I, uh--I could have changed
so many things.

I should have foraged far more.

I didn't hunt for the first
eight days I was here.

When I harvested the beaver,

I got so concerned
with preserving it

that I didn't hunt
anything else.

But I didn't,

and I wouldn't change
one of those decisions now

because this has been such
an experience of a lifetime.

And if I change
any of those decisions,

the entire experience
is different.

[dramatic music]

I've been super blessed,
lucky, and fortunate

to have
such an incredible experience.

after quite a severe accident,

I was drawn to Alaska.

And this is absolutely

another turning point
in my life.

Through the pain,
through the suffering,

I was thankful to be out here,

and I'm leaving Labrador

with the clarity
that everything you need

is right in front of you.

So now I want to go home,
consolidate,

and get everything
that I'm not using

to people that would benefit,

and then appreciate
every day to the fullest,

and live it to the fullest,
and pursue my passions

and just hunt and fish
and travel all the time.

That's a reason to smile,

and there's much
to be thankful for.

♪ ♪

[sawing]

- Look at this.

I counted the rings
on this tree.

This tree is 48 years old.

Hardest two sets
of woodpecker lips,


Pretty awesome.

♪ ♪

The thing right now
is just to finish--

finish the damn shelter.

We are trying
to tighten this up

so that I can lay--

'cause we're trying
to get to the roof.

Before I get to the roof,

I need to lay one
from here up there.

It's gotta be sturdy.

Not finishing the shelter

stops me from being active
and doing the things

that I want to be doing,

like going out
and getting food.

I've always appreciated food,
you know,

growing up without
a lot of money,

but I will have a newfound
appreciation for food

after this.

It's a really positive thing

to, like, think
about how fortunate you are

to have what you have.

♪ ♪

Getting sturdy.

♪ ♪

[axe thwacking]

Whoa, [bleep].

[bleep].

Mm.

Whoa.

All right, get up, boy.

♪ ♪

Ugh!

[bleep]. Son of a [bleep].

[wincing]

That was a bad fall.

I'm gonna have to be
real careful from here on out.

That slowed me down a ton.

Maybe if we walk it off,
it'll feel a little better.

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

[groans]

♪ ♪

Ooh, gosh.

My back is on fire.

I'm at, like,
a pain level seven, probably,

and I don't say that easily.

Maybe just stay in bed all day
tomorrow and rest this back,

but without food,
I will not get better.

Without rest,
I will not get better.

So what's it gonna be?

[wind whistling]

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

I cannot find a position.

♪ ♪

And I'm exhausted,
but I can't sleep

more than 10,

♪ ♪

And then my leg falls asleep,
and my hip starts burning up.

[sighs]

♪ ♪

This is brutal.

I'm not gonna lie.
It's pretty brutal.

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

I'm not ready to leave.

I'm not ready to call it,
you know?

You can push your mind,

but your body
doesn't negotiate with you.

It is what it is.

♪ ♪

That's the situation, folks.

♪ ♪

- Trick or treat!

Wow, you look so cute!

Does this whole thing
make me seem totally insane?

[thump]

- Got it.

Yes!

- [bleep].

- Stomach doesn't feel good.

[belches]

I will not hit the button,
ever.

♪ ♪