01x06 - What the Astronauts Drink

[bunniefuu]

Wake up the masses!

Assume the crash position.

Hold on tight!

Take a deep breath...

For a new kind of cartoon show.

Wicket! Wicket! Wicket!

Iiiiit's...

Kablam!

Where cartoons and comics collide.

Now to take you inside and turn the pages,

Here are your hosts, henry and june.





Hi, kablamoids.

June: roger that, control.

I'm henry.

And today, june and I are taking a very special field trip...

To a place we like to call...

Space: the final frontier!

Hey, henry, did you notice I've lost weight...

Like, all of it!

June, get down here.

You can't be weightless.

Why not?

We're in space...

% Vacuum-packed, gravity-denying space!

I said we're going to space.

We haven't left yet.

[Birds chirping]

Oh.

Abort mission!

I chipped a tooth!

While we see if kablam! Has a dental plan,

Check out the cartoon out of dentists recommend

For their patients who watch cartoons,

It's sniz and fondue.

Ok, men...

I've realigned the matrix for optimal thruster maximization.

We've got to reach the delta quadrant in star days!

[Buzzing]

[Gasp]

Snap me down!

[All] hello, boy!

Holy fruits!

You guys are the coolest looking aliens!

Oh, I love him already.

We got a good one.

Uh...you guys aren't gonna turn me inside out and eat my brain with mayo, are you?

Uh! Of course not.

We'll use tarter sauce.

Oh! Pashoy! I'm just kidding.

Stop scaring the boy. You'll blow it for us again.

We're looking for a cool mascot for our ship.

You know, like a-- a--a mascot!

But if you go with us,

You, like, could never, never come back, ever!

Why not?

'Cause we'll be booking through space, man!

Hmm...

I don't know if I could leave my friend forever.

There you go. A real space helmet,

For a genuine space ranger.

You guys are pushy.

I like it.

I'll definitely let you know by tomorrow.

Doojers!

I met the coolest aliens and they said I could go into space with them,

But I have to go forever, so I'm trying to decide.

I can prove it!

They gave me this genuine space helmet.

Let me see that thing.

"Made in china."

Ha ha ha.

[Groans]

[Clip clip clip]

[Belch]

One stay, two gos.

Looks like I'm booking skyward.

Let's do it.

What's in the backpack?

Just the essentials...

All my comics and action figures.

Fan, boy!

[Engine roaring]

Boy, take a look at that view.

Feast your eyes upon the wonders of the galaxy.

Hey, let's see the engine room!

Oh, he's hyper.

[Mmm mmm mmm]

Snap me down! A reverse throttle plutonium channeling pump.

I've only seen converters like this on class b star vessels.

What is he talking about?

He's talking...sspptt!

Ok, boy,

Now, please sit quietly while we plot a course for home.

Ooh, ooh, ooh! Let me help!

I'm excellent at inter-stellar navigation.

Ooh! I see you've opted for full inverse grade matrix

For convenient digital readout on the overlay screen.

I can't work like this.

All right, boy.

It's time to read comics in a nice, quiet room.

Oy!the kid was talking so much garbage

It made me forget what these controls do.

Now, I don't want you coming out of here

Until you've read every one of your silly, poo-poo comics.

[Slam]

[Shivering]

"Silly?" "Poo-poo?" I'd k*ll for this collection.

Fondue! You stowed away, just like in the movies!

No, duh! Now, let's book! This is more reality than I can handle.

Take it out of that---

Oh! Pull, fondue!

Pull like you mean it!

Guys, I really think you should see this.

[Grunting]

It's no use. It's stuck on like it's welded.

[Zing zing]

We're doomed!

They're gonna k*ll us!

They'll probably eat our brains with tarter sauce.

Speaker: we are not gonna k*ll you!

Don't listen. It's a trap.

It is not a trap!

Say, aren't they standing on the express chute to the pod room?

You mean, the one that would send them back where they came from...

Forever?

[Ding]

Oh...my!

Aah! Aah!

[Laughing and cheering]

Aah!aah!

[Gasp]

We did it.

We trashed the aliens.

Totally.

Whoo! Glad that's over.

Now, let's eat!

Pass the tarter sauce.

Put your helmet on, henry...

Unless you want some alien munching on your brain.

Check.

All righty-o!

June: initiate launch protocol!

Check.

Enter vector asamadeta!

Check.

Now, rotate the ignition mechanism.

Ee-huh?

The key, hen-roy.

Turn the key!

The key...right.

It's got to be around here somewhere.

Houston, we have a problem.

[Elephant trumpets]

[Cow moos]

[Horse neighs]

Ooh! Clip-on!

[Horn honks]

[Cat screeches]

This mission impossible is brought to you by...

Henry's stupid, idiot, boy stupidity!

But our next cartoon is brought to you by me.

Here's action league now!

Announcer: dateline. Cape crabgrass.

Just moments away from a space shot

To the farthest reaches of the universe.

And as the world looks on with awe-struck wonder,

The action league looks...

Here, justice!here, justice!

Here, boy!come on, justice!

For a little lost doggie-woggie.

Oh! Where's my little lost doggie-woggie?

But, chief,

Justice is right over there.

He's playing inside the rocket.

Silly old dog.

Aah! Stop the launch!

[Whimpering]

Starring...

He's super strong and super naked.

She flies like thunder.

A former navy commando

With an attitude as bad as his odor.

And...

With the power to...

Melt!

Today's episode...

A pooch in peril with time running out.

What dastardly dog napper would commit such a crime?

None other than his dishonor...the mayor.

The next time justice tinkles in a hot tub,

It'll be on another planet.

Ha ha ha!

Aah! Somebody save my poochie-woochie!

Don't worry, chief. I'll save him.

Meltman away!

Oof! Oof!

Ow! Ow!

Will you two stop that tom foolery?

My blasted dog is sitting on , pounds of thrust!

Gollars! That's a lot of wee-wee.

I'm the only one who can get there in time.

Thunder girl away!

[Sigh] show off!

I wish I could fly.

Ok, melty! Whuh!

Aah!

Hang on, justice! I'm coming!

♪ Thunder girl, flyin' like thunder ♪

Aah!

Hi!

Oh!

[Growling]

They call him meltman.

Leave flying to professionals, lava lips.

Now, get down from there! This baby's gonna go!

Correction, blunder girl.

This baby's gone!

Aah!

Aah!

Meltman: ya-hoo!

Can meltman corral his celestial steed?

Or will justice just...

I can't bear to say it.

Hang on!

For the action-blasted conclusion of...

Hey, kablamoids, keep your derriere in your chair-iere!

Still to come, anemia and iodine,

Life with loopy,

And more action league now!

Right here on...

When we last left our story,

Justice missing,

Meltman splat,

Rocket boom,

Thunder girl...

I'm coming you guys!

Thunder girl away!

Meanwhile, the mayor luxuriates in his evil lather.

Come on in, ladies. The water's fine.

But, mayor, we don't have our swimsuits on.

Ha ha! Neither do i.

Meltman, you've got to get control of the guidance system.

Ok, but first, look, no hands!

Aah!

No! Meltman!

[Whimpers]

I guess if man were meant to fly,

He wouldn't fall like a sack of batteries.

Meltman's in danger!

Everybody run for cover!

Bubbles!

Pure, fresh tinkle-free bubbles!

[Falling]

Uh-oh.

Here's trouble.

I tried to catch him, chief.

Yeah, whatever! Where's my blasted dog?

Oops! Knew I forgot something.

What's that sound?

It's the rocket!

Oh, goody!

Uh-oh.

Aah! Aah!

Justice, my poor little bubby-wubby.

He was quite a canine, chief.

And a good dog, too.

[Woof woof]

It's a blasted miracle!

[Woof woof]

[Cheering]

[Woof woof]

Yeah, good boy!

The jig's up, bottom feeder.

You know, I always wanted to say that.

Hey! Get that mutt away from my hot tub.

[Woof]

Curses!

Tinkled again.

Gollars! That is a lot of thrust!

[Woof woof]

[All laughing]

[Woof woof]

The end.

Come on, henry!

If a sputnik like meltman can blast off,

So can we!

Let's light this candle!

[Engines blasting]

Uh...i have to go to the bathroom.

[Engines shutting down]

So what? Just go in your suit.

That's what real astronauts do.

Uh...june?

Real astronauts have real space suits.

Theseare just cheap halloween costumes.

Ooh.

Uh...sure, yeah.

I knew that.

Me oh my!

I don't believe it! I forgot my toothbrush!

Silly me!

Be back in a jiff!

[Squish squish]

[Squish squish]

[Squish squish]

Ha ha! I think june just went where no cartoon character has gone before...

In her pants!

I did not!

Until she gets back,

Let's go lunar with loopy.

Hi, earthlings. I'm larry.

This is my sister loopy,

And this is the moon.

Now, thanks to modern science,

We've got the moon pretty much figured out these days.

But try telling that to loopy.

Looks like a giant moldy crabapple.

Hey, kids, have you seen the man on the moon yet? Ha ha ha.

There he is! I see him!

Come on, dad!

Everyone knows the man in the moon is just shadows on the surface.

Shadows! Yeah! I see them, too!

That one's a dinosaur, and there's a giant bird!

Oh, brother.

I saw him! I'll prove it to you.

Loopy, you can't lasso the moon.

It's , miles away.

You're right.

I'm gonna need a longer clothesline.

Larry: that night I was in the middle of the coolest dream

About the charlie chicken show...

[All laughing]

When suddenly...

Loopy: hey!

Grab your moonshoes, space cowboy!

I got a surprise for ya!

Larry: well, I had no idea how modern science was gonna explain all this,

But I figured, I'd worry about it later.

Hey, let's go find the man in the moon.

Loopy, there isn't any man in the moon.

I told you, it's just...

Shadows?

[Beeping]

Arrr! Arrr! Grrrr!

[Beeping]

It came from over here!

Grab on to the solar shield, lunasorus.

Space eagle, I can't hold on any longer.

Destabilize the anti-gravitational field.

See? I told you I saw the man in the moon.

Hold on, lunasorus!

So they finally decided to send a rescue party.

Gee, thanks.

You know, I've been stranded here since the seventies.

Can you believe those jerks took off without me?

I tell you, I would have gone totally sputnik

If it wasn't for these guys.

Arrr! Arrr!

What are you two staring at?

Come on! Let's get off this moldy crabapple!

Good-bye, moon.

And good riddance!

See you, kids!

I'm off to kick some nasa hynie.

Larry: so I guess loopy proved we're never gonna solve

All of the mysteries of the moon.

In fact, dad's working on one right now.

Hey, anyone seen my polka-dotted underwear?

Hey, kablamoids,

Now's the time in our show where we take a look

At some surprising shorts.

Hey!

Surprising!

Not those kind of shorts!

This kind!

[Caw caw]

Lizard spleens,

Mystic jaba jaba beans.

Magic -ball.

Hello, muriel.

[Crash]

[Gasp]

Hi! Hi!

Am I late? I hope I'm not late,

Because I left kind of early and you know I like to be on time,

So I went boing boing boing boing boing boing.

Iodine.

Boing.

We're going to malaria manor.

Malaria manor!

Where the ooh!

And the ehhhhh!

And the aaahhh!

Iodine.

Boo! Ha ha ha!

Exactly years ago,

On a dark and spooky night,

Old mrs. Malaria left her house on the hill

And never returned.

[Thunder]

I know.

But on this day every year,

The ghost of her poor little kitty comes back

Looking for its supper.

It must be really hungry.

That's why we must conduct a seance,

To contact this sorrowful spirit

And give it its last meal,

So that it can finally be at peace.

Hey! Where you going? What are you doing?

I want to gooooo! Can I go?

Dropsy, I don't think that--

No!

Oh, look, how lovely!

So tragic and neglected.

Oh, iodine. This is it.

This is the place for our seance.

I am beginning to feel a vibration.

[Rumbling]

Adnew hock, ad-a-lupus, elenendray!

Moribund sticky bun.

Mucus plaque, cross over from the great beyond and--

And chow down!

If you can hear us, give us a sign.

I want to play!

Aah! Aah!

You little geek-wad, you're screwing up our seance!

[Meow]

Did you hear that?

It worked!

Kitty.

Floppsagus, swimfanin, shortnin' bread.

Iodine?

Bad kitty cat ghost.

Go forth now, into the shadows,

And deliver unto us the cat ghost.

Here, dead kitty!

Here, dead kitty!

I'm a tuna, I'm a tuna!

Whaahh!

Here, kitty, kitty.

Here, little kitty.

Aah!

Oh, wonderful! He's found it!

Sounds like he's in trouble.

Hang on, dropsy, I'll save you!

[Dropsy screaming]

I'm coming, dropsy!

Aah! Aah!

Aah!

Dropsy!

I found dead kitty.

[Meow]

Looks like an alive cat to me.

I want my kitty!

I love my kitty.

I just don't understand it.

I'm certain I felt the presence of a cat ghost.

Hey, smelly--i mean, dropsy, let's go!

Coming!

[Meow]

Don't be afraid, little kitty.

We'll go home and give you something to eat.

Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.

Yiiiihhhhh!

What'd you say, kitty?

Is your tummy growling?

Mm-hmm, yeah. Mine, too.

Huh. [Humming]

[Caw caw]

Well, that's about all the time we have, fellow kablamers.

We're over and out of here.

But, henry...

We've got to kiss the sky!

Not this week.

See you next time!

[Beeping]

Uh! Uh!

Uh! Uh!

Uh!

The show is over!

Hey, look! Johnny quest!

Ignition.

That was really cheap.

In space, no one can hear you whine and ride.

Bye, kablamians.

Join us again next time.

Same kablam!time, same kablam!network.