03x08 - Great for Paper Training

[bunniefuu]

Wake up the masses!

Assume the crash position.

Hold on tight!

Take a deep breath...

For a cartoon crama-ganza!

Iiiiit's...

Kablam!

Where cartoons and comics collide.

Now to take you inside and turn the pages,

Here are your hosts, henry and june.

And u.s. Department of education

Greetings, kablam-ateurs.

I'm henry.

I'm june,

And the name of the game is kablam!

And today--

[Panting]

Hey![Arf arf]

Where'd you come from?

He followed me to the studio.

Isn't he cute?

[Giggling]

Hey, cut that out.

I always wanted a dog.

Hey--[arf arf arf]

Let's call him milo.

Hold on there, sporto.

He's my dog,

And I already named him wolf--

After cnn news stud wolf blitzer.

[Catcall sound]

Yourdog? Didn't you see

How much he liked me?

Yeah, because you have

Sloppy joe all over your shirt.

Come here, wolfy![Arf arf]

Time to go for a walk.

He wants me to walk him.

No, me!

Give it!

[Struggling noises]

Bad dog.

[Horn] ah-ooooga!

Announcer: dateline,

Super top secret action headquarters

Where the chief has summoned the league

For a super top secret briefing.

And this is hq,

Where I get all my dangerous assignments.

Oh, pooky, it's so exciting

To date a superhero.

Blast it, meltman!

Which part of "super top secret"

Don't you understand?

It's cool, chief.

Everyone, this is my new girlfriend, andrea.

No, who is she, really?

She's my girlfriend, ok?

Is that so strange?

No! Not at all. Hardly.

Quiet, you clowns!

We've got a defcon superhero emergency.

Lets move out!

Meltman, stay here in case the mail comes.

Check.

But melt, honey,

You told me you were a superhero.

I am. Uh...

I get the mail with super...

Regularity.

Well, the man I love has an inner superhero

Just waiting to be released.

You should be out there where the action is.

You know, you're right.

Make room for the meltster!

Blimey!

[Tires squealing]

Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh!

Ahhh! My spine!medic!

Ah, that's ok.

I'll just take the bus.

Today's episode...

We find our heroes poised to pounce

On a ring of large, heavy object thieves.

Ok, people-- gut check.

The place is probably booby-trapped,

And somebody's gotta go in there and sniff it out.

Who wants to volunteer?

[Whistling and humming]

Melty's your man, chief.

What? No way!

The melted man I love

Would never turn down a chance

To release his inner superhero.

Right.

Help.

Announcer: moments later...

Hmm. A large, heavy, dangerous object

Rigged to fall on anyone

Standing on that bull's-eye.

At least there's no booby traps.

All clear!

[Tires screech]

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Oh, boy.

The chief is gonna be mad at me now.

Don't you worry your bumpy little head.

Once they see the new and improved meltman

I've got in mind, they're gonna love you.

[All laughing]

Looking good, meltman.

He's not meltman anymore.

He's dr. Melt.

Dr. Melt? Ha ha ha.that's rich.

Very well, dr. Melt.

Because of you, the thieves escaped

And we got smashed!

No, see. That-- that was meltman.

Look, chief, if you don't appreciate dr. Melt,

He'd be glad to take his services elsewhere.

Careful, andrea.

Don't let your mouth write a check

Your hiney can't cash.

Oh, yeah? Well, cash this.

We quit.

We do?

Ahhhh!

Announcer: what's this?

Has a garrulous girlfriend

Come between a melted moron and his mates?

And what of weightier matters?

Find out in the action-estranged conclusion of...

The league without meltman?

The mind reels.

I can't wait to see what--

Eewwww.

What is that thing, june?

This wasmy matt damon wig,

Until wolf had a little accident.

Ha ha ha ha.

It's not funny.

We've gotta paper-train him right away.

What you mean, "we", paleface?

I thought wolf was yourdog--

Ergo, your problem.

[Train whistle blows]

While june's shampooing her hairpiece,

Why don't we enjoy a little prometheus and--

Eeewwww!

Narrator: , years ago,

An alien videotaped his attempts

To educate a caveman.

The prometheus and bob tapes.

Tape ...

[High, electronic voice]

Eh.

And then you go like this.

Hey!

Hey. Hey?

Yes.

Eh. Eh.

Heh heh.

Wait--wait--wait!

Hey! Hey! Hey.

Heh heh.

Yeah.

[Talking]

Hey! Hey! Hey!

[Screeching]

Hey!

He-e-e-ey.

[Scolding]

Hey.

Hey!

No!

[Chuckling]

Did you hear me?

[Screeching]

Hey!

Eh. Eh.

[Screeching]

[Struggling noises]

Ahhhh! Ah! Ehhhhhh!

[Thunder claps]

[Struggling noises]

[Monkey chattering]

Eh.

Hey. Ha ha ha.

Hey! Hey!

[Sighs]

Eh eh.

Yah.

Hey!

[Chuckling]

Go wake your grammy, there's more kablam-my.

Still to come...

Life with loopy,

Race rabbit,

And when we return,

More action league now!

Right here on...

Announcer: meltman--splitsville.

The league--splatsville.

As our story continues,

A dysfunctional duo deals with

The daunting duties of superhero-dom.

I'll never get this diploma to hang straight.

Ahhhh!

Ow!

[Phone rings]

Our first assignment!

Runnybuns...

Those large, heavy object thieves

Are at it again.

Call the police!

No, silly.

This is a job for dr. Melt.

Oh, yeah--him.

To the meltmobile!

Uh, right behind ya.

Ow!

Announcer: moments later...

All right, youse guys.

Let's load it on the dolly.

Meltman: whoa!

[Tires screeching]

Ok, uh, bad men.

Feel the fear--

Oomph--

Feel the fear--

[Struggling noises]

[Stage whispering] dr. Melt is here.

Uh, right, right.

Dr. Melt is here!

Ha ha ha.dr. Melt?

That's rich.

What do ya say we show the doc

To the emergency room?

Help.

Bad guys: uh-oh.

Ahhhhhh!

Meltman! You caught the thieves!

I was wrong about you.

You were?

You're too late, chief.

Dr. Melt is finished with you losers.

Actually, andrea,

It's you I'm finished with.

I'm going back to the league.

But lumpycakes,

Who helped you find your inner superhero?

Thanks, but I'm really more comfortable

With my inner chicken.

[All laughing]

That's our melty.

Announcer: the end.

Phew!

Everything's a-ok with a.l.n.

Which is more than I can say for our set,

Thanks to june and her little friend.

[Arf arf arf arf arf]

[Growling]

Henry, instead of acting like a ka-jerk,

How about helping me figure out what to do with him?

[Sniffing]

[Growling][whimpering]

I think mr. Foot's about to take care of him for us.

I can't watch.

The poor little guy.

[Grrrr]

[Grrrrrr]

[Arf]

[Barking]

[Muffled mumbling]

If you like this kinda mayhem,

Stick around for the master of disaster herself.

Here's life with loopy.

Hi, larry here.

You know, when it comes to

Flying like a butterfly,

Lassoing the moon,

Or wrestling robots,

My sister loopy's got her moves down.

But in the confines of the modern american home,

She's a class "a" klutz.

And last week, the situation finally reached its...

Well, breaking point.

Loopy, watch out!

Ah! My precious glass swan!

Sorry.

My turnip trophy.

Sorry.

Loopy, you've got to be more careful.

You're like a... Bull in a china shop.

Larry: now, loopy's broken a lot of stuff before,

[Dad sobbing]but this was different.

This time, she'd broken mom and dad's hearts.

And she knew she had to do something about it.

"Posh pots. Purveyors of fine chinaware

And quality knickknacks." Perfect!

Boy, it's like liberace's living room in here.

Hey, this looks just like--

[Crash]uh-oh.

What have you done, you clumsy little--

I'm sorry. I can't help it.

I--hey!

You must be the bull in a china shop

My mom was talking about.

Yes, yes, that's me.

But I thought you were clumsy, too.

Yeah, well, that was before

I discovered awkwards anonymous,

An organization dedicated to helping

The awkward, the ungainly,

The clumsy, the klutzy--

Ok, ok. Where do I sign up?

Bull: good afternoon, coordinationally challenged.

I now call this meeting of awkwards anonymous to order.

Hello, I'm raquel, and I'm awkward.

My name is francois,

And, uh...

I meant to do that.

Francois is still in the denial phase.

Hi, I'm loopy, and, uh...

I'm awkward.

Sorry.

Larry: over the next few days,

Loopy attended regular meetings of awkwards anonymous,

Taking part in strenuous exercises,

Designed to stamp out stumbling...

[Crash]

And control clumsiness.

Loopy: ah-choo!

Fantastic!yes! Yes! Hooray!

Fellow awkwardians,

You've worked hard

To curb your clumsiness,

But you must face one final challenge.

Each of you must carry

This delicate china tea service

Through the obstacle course.

Not a single piece of crockery may fall.

Not a drop of tea may spill.

On your marks...

Get set...

Go!

[Gasping]

[Gasping]

Incredible!

A breathtaking display of coordination.

Congratulations, everyone.

Please step up to receive your certificates.

Wait! One at a time!

Watch where you're going!

Oh, no!

My beautiful chinaware--destroyed!

Years of struggling

To control my bungling behavior

Completely and utterly wasted.

And yet, for some strange reason,

I feel...

Happier than I've ever felt before!

Huh?huh? Huh?

Hey, everybody.

Maybe it's ok to be awkward.

Yes! I'm clumsy and I love it!

[Cheering]

Come on, everybody.

Let's get clumsy!

Whoops! My fault. Oh, dear!

My fault! Sorry. Sorry!

So now loopy and the awkwardians

Are ok with their clumsiness--

And so are we.

Thanks to loopy's brilliant new decorating idea--

Rubber knickknacks.

Welcome back, kablam-aranians.

[Growling]

Bad dog. Go away.

[Sighs]

I guess we gotta face facts, henroid.

The inside of a comic book

Is no place for a dog.

Forget it pal.

Sorry, but you have to go.

[Yip]

Ok, boy! Wanna fetch?

Wanna fetch the ball?

Henry!

But he's so cute.

Ok, wolf. That's a good boy.

Hey...what the...

[Whimpering]

Fleas! Run!

Henry: and now here's the world premiere of race rabbit.

♪ Go race rabbit ♪

♪ Tearing up the tracks ♪

♪ With his turbo rabbit racer ♪

♪ And the superchip, max ♪

♪ He's a burnin' rubber bunny ♪

♪ With the need for speed ♪

♪ But he's always got time ♪

♪ For anybody in need ♪

♪ Go, go ♪

♪ Race rabbit with the turbo thrust

♪ 'Cause those in-bred boolies ♪

♪ From the upper crust ♪

♪ Wanna catch you and stuff you ♪

♪ But they're way too slow ♪

♪ So go, race rabbit ♪

♪ Go, go, go ♪

Gabby mcshouts-alot here,

And welcome to today's smashing rally.

And there goes race rabbit!

Crrrevins! Only an emergency

Can stop that horse-powered hare.

[Beeping]

Woman's voice: race! It's an emergency call

From the minister of dentistry.

Race.

Yes, minister?

The queen wants to donate her central incisor

To the young lad who lost his tooth.

Toothboy--the boy who lost his smile.

That's the one.

Ohhhhhhh!

Hold still, your majesty.

Yes!

Oh, race, you are the only one

Who can deliver the royal gnasher

To the binky tooth hospital asap.

Don't worry, minister.

I'm on it like marmalade on toast.

Godspeed, race.

According to my calculations, race,

You'll never deliver that tooth and win the rally--

Never! Never! Never!

Never say never, max. Just say "punch it."

[Engine revs]

Oh, race!

Minister.

You have minutes to deliver the--

[Crunch] tooth.

Oh, fiddlesticks.

[Woman screams]

Race, you have only minutes

To deliver the tooth,

Or else we'll all be in quite a sticky wicket.

Only the tooth fairy

Could deliver it faster, minister.

Now watch your feet.

Ohhhhhh-oh-h*-h*!

Oooooh. Cheerio, race rabbit.

Going somewhere?

Like in my trophy cabinet?

[Giggling]

[Choking]

I say, zit. Why do I have to be

The one who carries around

This extraordinarily deadly laser?

Oh, let me think.

[Both yelling]

That's why!

Now, give it!

Poor race rabbit.

If I didn't despise you so,

I'd pity you.

[Beeping]

Race, the boolies are pointing

An extraordinarily deadly laser right at us!

We'll never survive. Never!

Again, max. Never say never.

Just say, "turbo reflector shield."

Bye-bye.

Ha ha ha.

Oh, poo.

[Coughing]

Zit, coughing: winston...help me.

[Sizzling]

[Beeping]

Race, we're running out of time.

May I suggest you try one of these emergency buttons?

An excellent suggestion, max.

[Disco music plays]

Max: funny? No. That's real funny, race.

Now try one of the other buttons!

Ok, max, if you insist.

Thanks to her royal highness,

And the selflessness of this fine chap, race rabbit,

Toothboy can now smile again!

[Applause]

We meet again, race rabbit.

Time for plan "b".

Winston, your shoe.

That's plan "b"? My shoe?

No, that's plan "c".

This is plan "b".

[Shouting]

Now give it!

All in a day's work, lads.

Now I really must be...hopping.

My too-o-o-o-ooth!

[Whimpering]

Hey, that ugly bush threw a shoe at toothboy!

Let's get him!

Yeah!

Ahhhhhhhh!

What a glorious finish this looks to be,

But the question remains-- where is race rabbit?

Here he comes, but he's unspeakably far behind.

And at the risk of flogging a dead yorkie,

He'll never catch the leaders.

Never! Never! Never!

Remember, chums. Never say never.

Welcome to kablam! Now eligible for

State, county, and federal emergency assistance.

At least that menace didn't get

Our silver pulchinello award.

The silver pulchy, as it's known in the industry,

Is the second highest honor

Awarded by that italian animation festival.

Where is that mutt, anyway?

Beats me. I haven't seen him.

He's probably out looking for another show to demolish.

Career to wreck.

Wig to soil.

Good-bye, terror dog,

And good riddance.

Uh, henry, do you think he'll be ok?

Oh, definitely. He's practically full-grown.

Wolf!wolf!

Here boy! Wolf!

[Whistling] come to june!

Henry: daddy loves you!

Both: wolf?

[Grunting]

[Yawning]

[Sniffing]

[Snarling]

Join us again next time.

Same kablam!time,