03x10 - You May Already Be a...KaBlammer!

[bunniefuu]

Wake up the masses!

Assume the crash position.

Hold on tight!

Take a deep breath...

For a cartoon kramaganza.

Iiiiit's...

Kablam!

Where cartoons and comics collide.

Now to take you inside and turn the pages,

Here are your hosts, henry and june.



[Both breathing heavily]

Hey, hey, kablummoxes.

Thanks for bellying up

To another thigh-jiggling episode of...

Kablam!

[Squeak]

[Pop]

Oy, gevalt,henry.

That opening dance sucked the kishkis right out of me.

You're telling me, june.

I'm ka-pooped.

What's that?

Just a memo. Something about the producers

Making us take a physical fitness test.

Take a what?!

"If you fail to pass the kablam! Physical fitness test,

You will be retired as hosts of the show."!

There's no way we can pass!

Look at us. We're extra wide loads.

Wait! I know someone who can help us.

He'll whip our bloated bottoms into shape.

All right!

Let's go for it!

Uh, how about you turn the page?

I got the last one.

Ple-ea-ease? You're closer.

What are you talking about?

Come on, I'm tired.

I opened the memo.

[Sighs]

Dateline: action league testing center.

To renew their action hero licenses,

Our heroes face an excruciating, exhausting exam--

The first grade equivalency test.

[Ding]

Time's up. Hand in your answer sheets.

Moments later...

Thunder girl--pass.

Chief--pass.

Stinky diver--pass.

Meltman--pass.

Justice--pass.

[Woof]

I guess that's it. No, wait.

The flesh--fail.

Hooray for me!

Sorry, flesh, but I have no choice

But to ask you for your badge.

Why? Did you lose yours?

No, you bonehead! Don't you get it?!

You're out of the action league!

Huh?

[Sobbing loudly]

Today's episode...

We find our heroes at action headquarters,

Trying to solve the mystery behind flesh's failure.

Blimey! The moron marked his answers

In the shape of a cat!

I did not!

I knew he couldn't be that stupid.

I made a little kitten.

Oy!

I'm sorry, flesh. I don't like it any more than you do,

But rules are rules.

You'll have to leave now, big fella.

Oh, jeez...

Wait, chief. We need the flesh.

None of us has super strength.

Oh, yeah? Watch and be amazed.

[Grunting]

Uh, are you amazed yet?

Bill, there must be some way the flesh can stay in the league.

There's nothing I can do--

Unless, of course, he retakes the test and passes it.

Then there is nothing you can do.

Wait! We can help him study.

Let's do it! Good idea! Come on! [Ruff ruff]

And so the action league tutors a disrobed dingbat.

...... Birdies.

Now how many birdies are left if you take away one?

Let's see...thunder girl: ow!

Eleventy-five?

Close enough.

Uh, I think our work here is done.

Now you draw a triangle, flesh.

Funsies! Now, let's see...

Should I put the ruler here...

Ow!

Oh, just anywhere is fine.

See--"stinky". Now write your name.

Okey-dokey!

"R"--

Ahhhhhhh!

[Honking]

Ohhhhhhh!

Ohhhhhhh!

After a week of intensive care--uh, study,

The league finally gives the flesh

What he needs to pass his exam.

Whoo! I'm all over this test!

Looks like the test is all over you.

Cheat notes, flesh?

Blast it, bill! It's the big dope's only chance of passing!

Sorry, league regulations.

No cheat notes.

But I used 'em!

Uh...didn't.

Don't worry. You guys learned me real good.

Ahhhhhhhhh!

Begin.

Will the flesh best the test and make the grade--

First grade?

Or was all his schooling for squat?

Find out in the action-tutored conclusion of...

Boy, that flesh is cut like a deli tray.

He'd pass the kablam! Physical fitness test no problemo.

So, where's that friend of yours

That's gonna get us into shape, anyway?

Henry! Oh, henry!

Your aerobicizing angel has arrived, baby!

Richard! Thanks for coming so quickly.

Henry, I didn't know you knew richard simmons.

Yeah, we met at the circus of the stars.

Gasp! I've arrived just in the nick of time!

You sure did. June and I are gonna get canned

If we don't pass this dumb fitness test.

Don't fret, cutie.

I've assisted millions of people

Shed over , combined tons!

I've even helped a big, fat whale...

Richard!

Named shamu.

Well, don't just sit there.

Get off those tushies.

It's time to sweat off those pounds!

Come on! Exercise is your friend

Exercise is fun!

[Music plays]

Whoo-hoo! Let's aerobicize!

Yeah! Exercise is fun!

That's the spirit, sisters!

Say no to flab.

Come on kids! Get up off your butts,

Turn off your tvs, and exercise!

Richard, no! Don't--richard, no! Don't--

Announcer: what you are about to see is top-secret.

It is a videotape recorded , years ago

By an alien using a remote-controlled camera.

It shows his attempts to educate a caveman.

They have been code-named: the prometheus and bob tapes.

Tape ...

[Talking unintelligibly]

[Talking]

Ehhh.

Ok.

Ahhh!

[Grrrr]

[Crash]

[Sighs] [laughs]

Ow!

Ok.

Hey!

[Crash]

[Car alarm sounds]

Go!

[Screeches]

Hey! Hey!

[Sighs]

[Muttering]

Hey, look at me.

[Spits]

Go ahead.

[Spits]

Hey! Yech.

Hey! Hey! Get it! Get it!

Get it! Get it!

Ow!ow!

Ooof!ooof!

[Screeches]

[Laughing] hey-hey-hey-hey!

[Laughing louder]

[Groaning]

[Screeches]

[Laughs]

[Crash]

[Screeches]

Hey!

[Crash]

Hey, kablamoids. Keep your heiner in the recliner.

Still to come...

Life with loopy...

Emmett freedy...

And, when we return,

More action league now!

Right here on...

The flesh--a flunk-out.

The league--flung about.

Will the naked one pass? There's doubt...

[Bell dings]

Eggs are done.

Announcer: ...a lot of doubt.

But as they await the results,

The loyal league never loses hope.

I get dibs on his desk.

I get his parking place.

I get his thighmaster.

Unbelievable. In all my years of science...

What is it, bill?

He got every answer right.

[Cheering]

So, flesh, I guess we did teach you something.

You sure did. The kitten I drawed was bad.

So, this time, I made a little doggy.

Ruff ruf

[Laughter]narrator: the end.

Ow! I wish we didn't have to take that

Kablam!physical fitness test.

Oh, my aching muscles!

Henry, pass the mentholated balm.

Up, up, up! Time for some aerobics!

Richard, we already did aerobics.

Not with ankle weights!

We're too sore to work out right now.

Besides, before we exercise,

We need a nutrition break.

Good idea!

♪ Nutrition is an important part ♪

♪ Of any health regiment ♪

Henry! June! Stop it!

Stop it right now!

Do you know what you're doing to your bodies?

All that junk food is worse than

This bucket of greasy, disgusting bacon fat.

A smart diet is a balanced diet.

That means plenty of whole grains,

Fresh fruits and veggies,

And lean--

[Slurping]

Mmmmmm. Mmmmmmm.

Bacon fat. Bacon fat.

My goodness! Stop that!

You're eating my prop!

♪♪♪

Hi, larry here.

Everybody knows the world's running low

On oil and coal and stuff like that, right?

Well, last week our science class project

Was to invent an alternative way of making energy.

Now, normally, science isn't my strong suit,

But I gotta tell ya--

This project had gotten me totally inspired.

What's up, battery boy?

Hey, what are you doing with my hamster?

Solving the world's energy crisis,

Edison here is a vital part of my alternative power generator.

Well, you won't power a peanut

Unless edison moves his furry paws a little faster.

Hmmm. Maybe he needs a nutritious breakfast to pep him up.

Here you go, edison.

Try some iron-fortified, vitamin-enriched

Sugar frosted fruity flakes.

There you are. Just the people I wanted to see.

Here, grab these.

You can give me a hand fertilizing the rutabagas.

Larry: well, by the time we were done

Revitalizing dad's vegetable patch,

It was getting pretty late.

Solving the energy crisis could wait till the next day--

Or so I thought.

Dad: ahhhhhh!

My rutabagas are ruined.

And my generator's totally trashed.

Hey! Wh-where's edison?

I don't know, bro, but here's a pretty big clue.

That power breakfast must have been more potent than I thought.

Take a look at this.

I think it was the dessert that made the difference.

Radio: we interrupt this program

To bring you a special news bulletin.

A giant hamster has wreaked havoc in the downtown area this morning.

And is said to be heading for the county fairground.

The public is advised to remain in their homes.

Halt! And where do you kids think you're going?

Let us through. I've gotta find my hamster.

No need to worry, little lady.

The situation's under control.

Yes siree. We've gonna blow that mangy furball to smithereens!

Edison! No!

Hey, that's my science project, pal. Ahhh!

So there you are!

Come on, edison. Move those big, hairy hamster cheeks.

The army's going to be here any second.

Target within range!

Lieutenant, order all squadron leaders

To stand by for initial strike.

[Inhales] ahhhh.

I love the smell of popcorn in the morning.

There you go. That's it. Follow the popcorn.

Hey, wait! Where are you going, you big lummox?

Oh, no, they're here. Get out of there, edison.

This is no time to play. Wait!

Light bulb.

If I can just reverse the flow on this generator...

Squadron leaders, on my orders.

Ready...take aim...

And... General. Wait. Stop. Look!

See, general, edison is not a menace.

He's the biggest, furriest source of electricity

This side of the hoover dam.

Well, I'll be hornswaggled.

Just wait till the boys at the energy department hear about this.

So now, thanks to edison,

Our entire town is being powered by

A totally alternative new energy source--

Hamster power.

As long as loopy remembers to feed him his popcorn, that is.

[Both grunting] ...

... ...

... ...

Hi, we're back and ready to whoop that fitness test.

You sure are, june.

Come on, henry. Feel the burn.

That's it. Believe in yourselves.

... ...

... ...

...? ...?

You two should be ashamed of yourselves.

I took time off my busy schedule to help you out,

And you!

What kind of example are you setting for the children?

[Grrrrrrr]

Hey!

My goodness! What foot speed!

You meet anyone else at the circus of the stars?

Well, may as well watch the world premiere of emmett freedy

And come back for the grand finale for me and henry.

Emmett!

Wait a second.

Eeeee-yow-w-w-w-w-w!

I'm emmett.

How does he do that?

[Drilling]

♪ Oh, puffy dinks, eat 'em up nice ♪

♪ Oh, puffy dinks, fat, puffed rice ♪

♪ It's puffy-doo- dank-a-licious ♪

♪ Yo yo ♪

Cereal songs?

That's so immature, emmett.

Glad you liked it, sis.

[School bell rings]

Attention! Please remove all head paraphernalia for the lice check.

That includes baseball caps,

Doo-rags, sweatbands, babushkas, tam-o-shanters, and goggles.

For my project I built a full-scale nose

With vibrating cilia and green mucus.

Project? What project?

The science project that's due today.

Oh, no. I totally forgot.

Ouch! Instant "f". Sorry, emmett.

No way, peel. I just need a good excuse.

Know anybody that died?

Next!

Mm-hmm. Mm--whoa!

Got one!

Got what?

Lice! Lice?

[Vomits]

No, that's a puffy dink.

He isa puffy little thing.

We'll send him to the lab.

And mr. Lice-maker here-- straight home!

Wait a second. I'm trying to tell ya.

That's a puffy dink!

Home...did you say home?

Darn tootin'.

Cover your heads, children.

Lice boy coming through!

How's he do that?

I don't know.

Tv: ...everything I've earned...

This will make you feel better, sweetie.

My special liver and broccoli nachos.

I'm not sick, aunt marie.

They just thought I might have lice.

Well, lice need to eat, too.

[Slurping]

Mmm. I feel better already.

[Belches]

Can you keep a secret, mr. Carpathios?

Like the bank vault.

I don't really have lice.

No? Then what you got? The big tapeworm?

Nothing. They found a stray puffy dink on my head,

Thought it was lice, and sent me homeward bound.

What could I do?

I'm for sure that you did all that you could do, huh?

That's right, mr. Carpathios.

I did al-l-l-l-l I could.

All right. You pulled the wool over the faces.

Now I got the whole day to relax

And work on my science project.

Rege van durkin reporting live

From the apartment building of emmett freedy,

The boy responsible for the current lice plague

That threatens akron.

What the--

Oh, there's that handsome rege van durkin

Export emmett to france!

Lice caps. Get your lice caps.

For bucks in your pocket.

Let's put him in the rocket ship and then light the fuse up.

This is starting to weird me out, emmett.

I'll put a quick stop to this, mr. Carpathios.

I don't have lice! It was a puffy dink! Go home!

What did he say?

He said, "I love lice and you all stink.

Trombone."Trombone? Who's he calling a trombone?

Better check this out, bro.

Our first step is to pacify the last breeding area.

In layman's terms?

It's time to shave emmett's head.

[Buzzing]

Oh, come on now.

Can't a guy have a decent stay-home anymore?

May as well go back to school and tell the truth.

There goes an american hero.

Peel!

Emmett! I saw you on tv.

You looked fat.

Stay away from my hairdos, emmett.

You hear me? You hear me?!

No! Wait!

Mr. Lombardi, please listen.

I don't have lice.

Won't somebody believe me?!

Hey, that's the guy. Lice guy.

Emmett, can we talk to you before you're bald?

Yeeee-ahhhhhhh!

Emmett, your friends came by to see how you were feeling.

Run, emmett. It's a set-up!

[All yelling]

Man : stop. Don't go.

We've got no quarrel with you, emmett.

This is between us and those lice.

Oh, you want lice?

Here's your lice.

Ahhhhhhhh!

[Screams]

Ah! They're eating me.

Hey, this isn't lice.

It sure doesn't taste like lice.

It tastes more like the puffy dinks.

That's what I've been trying to tell you guys.

♪ Oh, puffy dinks, eat 'em up nice, ♪

♪ Oh, puffy dinks, fat, puffed rice ♪

♪ It's puffy-doo- dank-a-licious ♪

♪ Yo, yo ♪

Has the whole planet gone completely immature?

A breakfast bonnet.

It protects the face and head area from r.f.b.d.--

Random flying breakfast debris.

Allow me to demonstrate.

Peel, toss the bacon.huh?

The bacon--toss it.

Oh, yeah.

Ow. My eye.

Another breakfast disaster successfully thwarted.

Thank you. Music, peel.

[Opera plays]

Emmett, that was a wonderful science project.

[Applause]

How's he do that?

Well, kablamsters.

We'll be taking our physical fitness tests any minute now.

In other words, get a good look at us,

'Cause it's all over but the flunkin'.

Henry, I know I might not always show it,

But I'm gonna miss working with you.

[Sniffs] me, too, june.

Give me a hug.

Ugh!

I wonder when that test is gonna happen.

Yeah. Where's the guy with the stopwatch

And the whistle and the stationary bike?

[Bell rings]

Oooof! Oooof!

[Fanfare and applause]

Henry, check it out.

Kablam!physical fitness certificates!

"For successfully demonstrating the ability

To withstand cartoon punishment."

That's our fitness test?

It's so easy. I know!

[Eating loudly]

And...and... And...and...

That's it, footsie. All that hair's

Just hiding a beautiful body inside.

We'll be back for more cartoon punishment next time.

Right here on kablam!

Join us again next time.

Same kablam!time, same kablam!network.