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01x03 - Comics for Tomorrow Today

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "KaBlam!". Aired: October 11, 1996 – January 22, 2000.*
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Each episode thus features a collection of short films in different innovative styles of animation, bridged by the characters Henry and June, who introduce the short animations and have zany hijinks of their own in between.

01x03 - Comics for Tomorrow Today

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

the crash position hold on time take a

deep breath for a new kind of cartoon

show

[Music]

we're cartoons and comics collide now to

take you inside and turn the pages here

your host Henry and June

hi and welcome to another KaBlam jamming

episode of KaBlam I'm Henry your host

and over here is my co-host the lovely

and talented June Oh June what are you

doing I am demonstrating one of my many

superpowers turning your eyelids inside

out is not a superpower okay well how

about this

[Music]

folks please don't encourage her

well I explained it June the difference

between a superpower and a stupid power

why don't you check in with two guys who

go together like bacon and a tetanus

shot

here's snoozy fondue

[Music]

hey your hands will go into the store

anybody need anything

oh yes snuff could you pick me up a case

of my regular hair product case I just

picked up a whole case for you last week

whoa whoa whoa sneeze that's 12 bottles

in seven days I can't believe that you

need two bottles of gel a day to keep

one Mohawk up but anything gorgeous for

tonight wait you got me the cheap stuff

premium juice you're nuts

your hair is suffocating from all that

skull sauce could it be that squeaky

fondue is jealous of my hot new look

yeah right captain calamari good do you

believe I'm out of Thrifty hold time to

open up another lovely bottle

she went to dance dancing oh man who

left out the Stilton it reeks like barf

Prowler all right burglar I'm gonna beat

your brains in with this thing once I

figure out how it works come the lead on

them Nyssa cheer up buddy Bieber I think

I've solved your problem it's the newest

thing everybody's going for this look

screams happiness no sad clowns allowed

in this circus you're okay now my

guardian skills may not exactly be up to

snuff but heck I can grow a couple of

daisies

but what if I don't want flowers coming

out of my head first to the paster again

never see ducks h2o yeah

now all we have to do is wait

[Music]

[Music]

so what can you do for my buddy Baldy

lags here you'd be amazed at what we can

do now for the hairless it's gonna grow

back pal that's what they all say ah you

got anything a little more elevated do I

this hell piece is the newest on the

market

Oh give me a chance already you're so

quick to poopoo everything see this

particular model has remote-control

sideburns

[Music]

why don't you just accept it that is the

saddest thing I've ever seen

thanks friends wha yo I had my field

plowed just for you

I can't believe it believe it now we're

like two halves are the same Oh

[Music]

beautiful twisted moment of our lives

yeah but we'll get through it

if my hair goes back first I'll give you

some the helpouts you give me some of

your nose hair heaven no she got plenty

oh it's gonna be like that it's gonna be

like this that ending was so sickeningly

sweet

I lost my lunch oh here it is sloppy joe

for the action splattered adventures

super June able to raise objects with

only the power of my mind

[Music]

please accept my apologies don't fear me

immortal superhuman is here and just in

time to bear witness to the exploits of

my fellow superheroes action lead now

starring the flesh he's super strong and

super naked Thunder girl she flies like

thunder

stinky diver a former Navy commando with

an attitude as bad as his odor and mouth

man with the power to the mouth today's

adventure the wrath of spot Zilla

we find our heroes at patio Park

accepting the Nobel Prize for being the

best superheroes in the world now go out

there and have some fun you deserve it

hey we're stinky tell me stinky is it

dangerous being a superhero I

angel for breakfast Leslie it's what I

do

[Music]

[Music]

while milk men's clog dancing fails to

impress thundergirl it does get the

attention of the blood thursday behemoth

known as spot Scylla asleep in his

subterranean chamber since the dawn of

the Mesozoic age spot Scylla awakens

with only one thing on his mind

death and destruction okay that's two

things so sue me so what do you say

let's clogs oh my gosh no okay well we

could always just do the hokey-pokey

no you idiot in spot Zilla

[Applause]

so how do you know when danger is about

to strike it's like a sixth sense Leslie

I can't explain I think there's

something to do with me glans Oh blimey

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

can this be the end for stinky diver and

what up spot Zilla two million years old

two million years there can the league

stop him in time stay tuned for the next

action gobbling installment of Action

League Hey KaBlam boys keep your Heiner

in the recliner still to come right with

loopy Prometheus and Bob and more action

leaf now right here and now we return to

action lead the last of spot Zilla in

our last installment a bloodthirsty

beast is awakened a reign of terror is

unleashed and stinky diver is turned

into a stinky snack as the Mesozoic

mutant aims its incisors at an

unsuspecting town the action League

takes action dag-blasted that fur ball

freak caught us with our pants down but

chief I know flesh your pants are always

down no chief I was just wondering what

about stinky he's gone flesh gone and

there's not a dag-blasted thing any of

us can do to bring him back

it just doesn't smell the same around

here without stinky don't go soft on me

about man

that homicidal mutant is heading right

for the World Cup soccer champions

[Music]

soccer superstar Andre Lacroix the

dazzling French striker from France is

putting on quite a show today he goes

left right

[Applause]

we don't protect these people we'll have

a real International hot potato on our

hands don't worry chief I may not have a

face but I do have a plan hey there

spatula come to melt eat that's a good

boy now come on

[Music]

I don't have super strength don't worry

guys

I do have super strength with the fate

of millions hanging in the balance can

our super strong super naked superhero

hang on the mighty flash large and in

charge stay tuned for the next action

flexed installment of Action League

hold the phone Henry you are telling me

the ending section league doesn't until

next show maybe you need a dose of

Prometheus and Bob super June

[Music]

what you're about to see is top secret

it is a videotape recorded nine hundred

thousand years ago by an alien using a

remote-controlled camera it shows his

attempts to educate a caveman

they have been codenamed the Prometheus

and Bob tapes tape 22 music

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Wow

hey KaBlam Boyd's now is the time in our

show where we take a look at some

surprising shorts hey surprising

[Music]

[Music]

Richard Cup slam house Nixon

this shows that power it's not fair

everybody's got a power thundergirl the

flesh you this it's no big deal

[Music]

slow down boy you're gonna burst your

brisket while Henry does battle with the

snack food

of death why don't we battle boredom

with a little life with loopy hi I'm

Larin this is my sister loopy and this

is an egg I hate eggs but Lupe's an egg

fiend at least she was up until last

week

it all started mom cooked up a whole

pile of eggs for a PTA lunch eggs can I

have one okay dear can I have another

one don't eat too many of those young

lady you'll turn into one no loopy we

have to go out now I've put Larry in

charge so you be a good girl and do what

he says now you may not think

babysitting my little sister is such a

big deal oh let me tell you this kind of

responsibility can be rewarding good job

Larry

[Music]

trouble was loopy had other things on

her mind besides my wealth and happiness

hey Larry

I'll get it oh no you won't I'll get it

you've done enough already

great my sister isn't hey I'm dead are

gonna k*ll me

well at least things can't get any worse

[Music]

[Music]

hotpoint maybe they can help

giant pest hotline feedback bigger bugs

how can I help you my sisters turned

into an egg and we were being terrorized

by a giant chicken you got to get over

your fast hang on a second sir take my

advice don't let that chicken get hold

of your sister it's gonna want to sit on

her till she hatches I'm toast

mellow out muffin head hey take a little

sniff on this

[Music]

how did everything go kids fine good job

son unbelievable

I was off the hook and off eggs for life

as for loopy even she decided to go easy

on the eggs for a while but when it

comes to waffles well that's another

story it may not be super stinky

let's see loopy do this that's nothing

stand back and witness my very own

amazing unbelievably great superpower I

[Music]

know I'm pathetic

get a grip Hank ski you've got a great

superpower I do yeah you've got you've

got some super super super power really

yeah with the strength to introduce

entire episodes powers of pronunciation

far beyond those of normal horses

and check this out yeah but best of all

you've got the power to turn the page

come on Henry

show me or stop step you men this is a

job for

catch you later Super beers join us

again next time

same KaBlam time same cup lamb Network

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]