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01x12 - Comics of Champions

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "KaBlam!". Aired: October 11, 1996 – January 22, 2000.*
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Each episode thus features a collection of short films in different innovative styles of animation, bridged by the characters Henry and June, who introduce the short animations and have zany hijinks of their own in between.

01x12 - Comics of Champions

Post by bunniefuu »

[Applause]

[Music]

hold on time take a deep breath for a

new kind of cartoon show

[Music]

we're cartoons and comics collide now to

take you inside and turn the pages here

your host Henriette June

hi and welcome to KaBlam I'm June and

doing his best to look snazzy is my pal

Henry our show today is absolutely

KaBlam II know Henry's all jacked up

because he thinks his girlfriend is

coming to visit she she's not my

girlfriend

she's a distinguished member of the

action week and a crime-fighting

superhero if she's not your girlfriend

then why do you blush when I say thunder

girl friend girl girl is it hot in here

or is it me

[Music]

while Henry cools off will heat up the

action here's part one of action legal

Dateline big kitchen National Park hold

on let me see if there's a light switch

oh here's one

[Music]

Action League now starring the flesh

he's super strong and super naked under

girl she flies like thunders stinky

diver a former Navy commando with an

attitude as bad as his hotel and melt

man with the power to Mel today's

episode see

come on Thunder girl what do you say we

go to that concert together I'm talking

Molly Hatchet front row

uh I can't melt man I've got to uh I've

got to feel my ice cube trays that night

admit it it's because I melted isn't it

i disgust you okay listen up you guys

we've got ourselves a trap spelunker big

kitchen this one looks like a real

political hot potato why is that chief

that's Bellanca he's the mayor very

funny you guys get me down Ruttman

foot get your butts over to big kitchen

now stinky get her down from there

hey good thundergirl I'll cut you down

from dinner jiffy stinky no there's got

to be another way

no way a plastic head you needed a

haircut anyway

stinky now hop ahoy Oh blimey

[Music]

with thundergirl and stinky out for a

spin

will the squealing spelunker be in this

code indefinitely none of these two

cheap plastic playthings have their way

stay tuned for the action puréed

conclusion of action Lam

I hope Thunder go gets pierced in time

oh me too as long as it doesn't

interfere with our big day I guess we'll

find out any action laddered conclusion

later in the show

hey pups vinius ms/ms

[Music]

it's that time again

hey my pompadour snap me down here comes

Smith and fun too

[Music]

I can't believe this we've bought like

40 eggs and we don't even have one

tarantula this is hocus the display card

shows one and we're not leaving here

until we get it we've got two quarters

left maybe the last two are both spiders

by the magic of you've got lucky last

'yes

[Music]

[Applause]

there's an address printed on the bottom

of the egg shouldn't we use the front

buzzer no no D besides what can happen

[Music]

now what can I do for your lower

classmen we depleted a whole machine and

didn't get the spider as advertised

we demand spider justice in good times

deaf youth men but first what would you

say to a tantalising tore my novel to

Nirvana

[Music]

[Music]

thanks for coming be sure to enjoy

Sinclair enough of this

it's payback time roots it's locked onto

you little buddy

turn here you buffoon there's something

I'd like to show you what are those

wretched objects beetle stone those are

item C 380 once there are plastic

spiders I know I know you robot I'm the

one who asked you to dispose of them

throw em out but mr. Sinclair tests show

that kids love these the best oh that's

why we don't put them in the machines

you underling so kids will keep coming

back hoping to get them oh man that is

deep I'll destroy all of these

recreational Iraqis myself Hiddleston

allow the door to pound your buttocks

firmly on the way out

[Music]

come on Oh money thank you

now to transmogrify

plastic into profit let the melting

commence

[Music]

I'm here for you sick right i decree you

rep stallions have caused enough mayhem

for one day oh yeah well we're going to

tell the media about your scam is that

so then I guess I'll have to turn you

both into [ __ ] combs imbroglio only

under one condition

hey KaBlam boys keep your derriere in

your cherry air still to come

Prometheus Unbound Angela anaconda and

more action lay down right here on land

hi and welcome back to KaBlam before we

return to the cartoons let's take some

time to whip up a tasty treat what a

fine idea

today's delicacy Baked Alaska first

you'll need some Alaska

Alaska our 49th and largest state is

also one of our most beautiful the

tundra that Henry's digging is actually

among the basis of the Caribous diet now

just bake at 350 degrees we don't have

an oven so we'll have to use Henry

instead Henry an thundergirls man a tree

K is some cheap

they're good and good for you

just like our next cartoon here's

Prometheus and Bob what you're about to

see is top secret

it is a videotape recorded 900 thousand

years ago by an alien using a

remote-controlled camera it shows his

attempts to educate a caveman

they have been codenamed the Prometheus

and Bob tapes 71

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

okay are you doing alright then yeah

let's get right back to the cartoons and

Angela anaconda this is a Valentine

story so don't throw up like King did

for my chicken chow mein today's episode

will be starring me Angela my boyfriend

Johnny a body and definitely not

starring bug-brain and wha business but

anyway it is Valentine's and I have made

this for Johnny a body and then he gives

me a piece of unchewed chewing gum

freshly rewrapped in the original

wrapper I hope you like grape

it was like a fairy tale out of the

movies

then mini wart comes along and gives him

a big and stupid card but not made by

her Johnny haven't you a Valentine for I

your sherry and more which is French for

it better be nice

I brought new fish the macaroni horse

head for Valentine's Day thank you John

what a thoughtful and inexpensive way to

say you care oh so you too Johnny

Internet are now Valentine's huh

[Music]

my little turtle does with her magical

desire

[Music]

Oh too bad Johnny backstabber forgot to

properly close

[Music]

we're not my best friend in the entire

known world Nanette noir but he had no

time for water

[Music]

you have to get married

you must take these my dearest Nanette a

beautiful bouquet of flowers notice how

I said bouquet it is French just like

you oops I forgot you are most deadly

allergic to flowers oh well you will

certainly feel better when Johnny kisses

his bride I have to yes you do Johnny a

potty just remember you could have

married Angela anaconda but it's too

late now let us now celebrate your

storybook love with a traditional rice

throwing

[Music]

ah

you pied

Oh Angela it's you excuse me but you

have like half a roll of toilet paper

trailing behind you like a lunatic I

didn't do nothing

do you like macaroni no I do Angela good

cuz you are going to eat this card

[Music]

[Music]

KaBlam le hey coming up next is the

action coded conclusion of action leave

now and guess what

Henry's gonna rescue Thunder girl and

save the day right Henry maybe we should

come back later I'm not dressed for

action

[Music]

Henry

[Music]

[Applause]

let's give another time now here's the

action plastic conclusion of action when

we last left our story piers the Thunder

girl in stinky fandango with time

running out a gravity defying decision

is made to fall like a fair

[Music]

[Applause]

hang on flesh this baby's taking us just

where we want to go this is getting old

fast it's this way

trust me my sense of direction has never

let me down well anybody here gross

you're disgusting

yeah I'm stinky stinky divert you've got

to turn it sure think Thunder girl

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

didn't you used to have hair did you use

to have weights I still say it's that

way oh can it melty I was going to ask

you out to see Molly Hatchet play

tonight but now that I'm a mutilated

stump I'd understand if you'd say no

looks aren't everything Pierce

[Music]

why D KaBlam Anheuser that was action

right Henry

I can't believe thunder girl kiss that

guy he's a chewed-up stump

Love Hurts Henry I guess she's not

coming to see us guess not

but uh man oh man it's been quite a show

hasn't it quite a show sorry I'm late

hi June hello Henry Pandu oh cool

[Music]

is he okay he's fine he just ate a

little too much Tundra well that's it

for today's sports fans come on Thunder

girl gimme a hand with this wait till

Mel man hears about this

adios everybody that's Spanish for catch

you later

join us again next time same KaBlam time

same KaBlam network

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]