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Bedside Manner (1945)

The older Classic's that just won't die. Movies from before 1960's.

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The older Classic's that just won't die. Everything from before 1960's.

Bedside Manner (1945)

Post by bunniefuu »

Where you headed?

Chicago, eventually.

Me too, but I've got to
get there before then.

Say, uh, could you
pick up another Marine?

Just down the road.

We thought if we split up, why--

Oh, very smart.

What's your name?

Smith.

We're all set for Chicago.

Swell.

Hey, uh, could you
pick up another Marine?

What is this, an ambush?

Where is he?

Right down the
road a little ways.

OK.

What's your name?

Smith.

-Hey, d*ck, she's going to---Chicago.

All right.

Boot lee aft.

Uh, my name's Smith.

Are you all named Smith?

Yep.

All named Smith.

All the same outfit and
all going to Chicago

on a 30 day furlough.

Well.

What's your name, honey pie?

Hedy Fredericks.

Ms or Mrs?

Neither.

Well, you got to
be one or the other.

Oh, it's doctor.

Dr. Hedy Fredericks.

You know, I bet we could makeChicago by tomorrow morning

if we drove all night.

Well, I'm awfully sorry tointerfere with a w*r effort,

but I've got to
stop in Blythefield.

How long
are we stuck there?

Just overnight.

All right.

We'll wait for you.

Well, that's
awfully kind of you.

But I'm afraid you'll findBlythefield a little dull.

The town's growth was stunted.

I thought you said thistown's growth was stunted.

Something must have happened
to its pituitary gland.

I used to know everyone in town.

Now I don't see a--

Yes, I do!

There's little Smedley Hoover.

Hoo!

Smedley!

She wants you.

What for?

That's what I'd like to know.

It's me, Hedy!

Never saw the girl
before in my life.

Probably not in the daylight.

Go on.

Don't mind me.

You don't even recognize me.

I'm Hedy Fredericks.

This is little Smedley Hoover.

That is, he used to
be little Smedley.

Now he's big Smedley.

They're all named Smith.

Isn't that convenient?

Hi, mac.

Hello.

How have you been
all these years, Smed?

I'm sorry, but
you've got me wrong.

My name is--

Look me in the eye
and tell me you're

not little Smedley Hoover.

I can look you in both
eyes and tell you I'm

not little Smedley Hoover.

You mean to tell me you'renot little Smedley Hoover

that used to live
on Maple Street

and went to number
three school with me?

I am sorry to disappoint you,but my name is Morgan Hale.

Two.

Well, I'm all alone.

Maybe just one?

Yes, two.

We've been waiting.

Thank you.

I still think you're fooling.

No one else could look somuch like little Smedley.

Madam, once and for
all, please believe me.

I am not little Smedley.

I never was little Smedley.

And you've made me lose
my place in the line.

Now if you'll please pardon me.

Well, you needn't be
so snippy about it.

All right, mack.
Shove off.

Go on.
Hit the road.

Oh, no.

It-- it's all so confusing.

Three Smiths and no Smedley.

I was just here
with a young lady.

I--

You may be supposed
to be, but you ain't.

I don't--

Back of the line, please.

Imagine leaving you
for any other girl.

What does he do at the plant?

He's a test pilot.

You know--

Well, that must be fun.

Unless the wings come off.

Uh oh.

There he is now
and he looks cross.

I didn't quite get your name.

Walton.

How do you do?

How do you do?

Uh, Mr. Hale?

Mr. Walton.

Oh, very.

Well, Mrs. Bumble.

How's the goiter?

-I'm chilblains.
-Yeah.

Oh, yes.
That's right.

Good morning.MAN: How do you do, doctor?

Good morning.
Good morning.

And how are you, Mr. Graham?

Well, I'm here, ain't I?

Uh, yeah.

Say, doc.

I got to see you right away.

I'm as weak as a cat.

Well, you just stay here
and watch for a mouse

until I can get to you.

Better get rid of thesepatients before Hedy comes.

They'll scare her to death.

You know, Gravitt,there's no possible reason

why Hedy won't be glad tostay here and help me out.

At least until thisgastrointestinal rush is over.

Then all we'll have to worryabout are the pneumonias.

Yes.
Yes.

That's all.

Just the pneumo-- oh,
now, look at this.

Do I have to put
this on with this--

The laundry's two
months behind now.

If I scold them,
they'll quit altogether

and go make flying machines.

What makes you
think she'll stay?

Well, to begin
with, I'm her uncle.

Isn't that enough?

Wouldn't be for me.

Huh.

Now that's better.

No sign on that one.

Well, she's got to stay.

You leave it to me.

I'll fix it.

Here you are, auto park.

This is the way.

Hey!

Uh, auto park this way!

Right in here.

That's-- oh, Hedy!

The doc's been waiting for you.

Well.

Lay off, liberty party.

Ha.

Look how she learned
our language.

-Hiya, Mrs. Pringle.-How does it seem to be home?

Oh, fine.

Even if it is for just a night.

Here you.

Auto park!

Auto park, this way!

Where did you get that voice?

Yelling.

Well, you go right
in and see the doc.

See the doc!

He's got appointments
till 1947.

Uncle Doc!

It's wonderful to see you.

Well, well, well.

Where the devil have you been?

Oh, I got here as
fast as I could.

And Ms. Gravitt, how are you?

Terrible.

I've been trying to get anappointment with the doctor

myself since the 4th of July.

How long can you stay?

Only till tomorrow morning.

I wish I could stay, but Imust be in Chicago by Thursday.

Well, every minute helps.

Here you are now.

Get this prescription filled andtry to keep up your strength,

will you, as a
personal favor to me?

All right, Doc.

Who's next, Gravitt?

Grover Cleveland
Perkins, pleurisy.

Haven't we got that mummyout of the plaster yet?

He's been in that cocoon threeweeks now, and he wants out.

Well, bring him out of
the line of scrimmage.

Oh, waita minute, Ms. Gravitt.

First, Uncle Doc, I wantyou to meet three Marines.

They're going on
to Chicago with me.

I thought maybe you couldput them up for tonight, huh?

I'll call them.

Here we are, Doc.

My Blythefield
expeditionary force.

My uncle, Dr. Fredericks.

Smith, Smith, and Smith.

They're all named Smith.

Isn't that wonderful?

Well, hello, Smiths.
How are you?

Happy.

And Ms. Gravitt.

Gravitt, see if you can finda nice place for the boys

to sleep tonight.

Oh, immediately.

Of course you know, Dr. Hedy,there isn't a bed in this town.

Oh, you can find
someplace, Ms. Gravitt.

I have it.

Let them get drunk.

Spend the night in jail.

What about the attic?

There's no one up
there, is there?

Only the skeleton.

Well, that's fine.

Then put them to
bed with Mr. Bones.

Boys, what are you doing?

Put that down!

Bottle baby.

Whatever this guy's
got, it wiggles.

Hey.

Where are the toenail clippers?

Come on.

Now, let's see.

Grover Cleveland Perkins.

Hm.

You remember Chatty Perkins,the one man debating team?

When can we sit down andhave a real chat, Uncle Doc?

Why, I've so little
time to be with you.

As soon as you help meget rid of these patients.

Uh, this way, Mr. Perkins.

Oh, thank you, Doc.

Hedy.

Take off yourcoat and shirt, Mr. Perkins.

-Hm?
-It's all right.

This is my niece,
Dr. Fredericks.

Oh.

Just look how the population inthis town has increased, Hedy.

And there's only old
Doc Blake and myself.

You'd be an awful lot
of help, you know.

Well, I should think so.

This is no time
to bury yourself

in a research laboratory.

And besides--

Well, now, I don't
know about that, Doc.

No, sir.

You know, there's two
sides to every question.

Yeah.

Please try and be quiet,
will you, Mr. Perkins?

We want to find out if you haveany mediastinal disturbances.

And if there are
none, we'll take

that plaster off in a jiffy.

All right.

I can understand your notliking plastic surgery.

Oh, yes, sure.

So can I, Doc.

Come in here, will
you, Mr. Perkins?

Yes.

I may be burying myselfin the Enderley Foundation,

but it's a more reasonable
division of life.

Some of the time
would be my own.

Oh, yeah.

And I can understand justexactly what she means, Doc.

At night, she could
change her clothes

and go out and make-- woo!

Oh, yeah.

I wish you'd stop exertingyourself, Mr. Perkins.

Well, it isn't quite that.

But Mr. Perkins has the idea.

You see, Uncle Doc, beinga physician and surgeon

doesn't give a woman
much opportunity

to be, well, just a woman.

I know, Hedy, but why--

You took the words
right out of my mouth.

Oh!

I wish I could persuade
you to stay, Hedy.

We need 10 doctors.

Now, don't you let
him get you down.

Thanks, Mr. Perkins.

I'm going on to
Chicago tomorrow.

And from 9:00 in themorning till 6:00 at night,

I'll give suffering
humanity everything

I've got with a microscopeand a test tube.

And then I'm going home
and put on a silly dress

and forget that I am
Hedy Fredericks, MD.

-Yes, but why--
-There.

You see what I tell you, Doc?

And she is absolutely right.

Oh, no.

Don't take me seriously, Doc.

Oh, please don't
take me seriously.

I just love to talk,
Doc, please-- oh!

Now-- now, everything
that I said goes, Doc.

And-- and don't you weaken.

I won't.

Come back tomorrow, Mr.
Perkins, if you dare.

Well, now that we've had anice little visit with brother

Perkins, we'll run throughthe rest of the customers

and then we'll drive
over to the plant.

I want to show you the
new hospital, Hedy.

Oh, that'd be fine.

It's cold.

Oh, Uncle Doc, there wassomething I wanted to ask you.

Yeah?

Whatever became of
little Smedley Hoover?

Yeah?

Oh, he's still hanging
around the drugstore.

Here you are,auto park, right this way!

Wonderful, Mrs. Pringle.

Just keep taking those lozenges.

Get my niece's car, will you?

And put it on my bill.

Oh.

Oh, the reason I
asked about Smedley.

There's a fellow here who'sa dead ringer for him.

Is that so?

A character named Morgan Hale.

Oh, I know him.

He works down at the plant.

But he doesn't look
anything like Smedley.

Why, he looks exactly
like Smedley should look

if he looks now the
way he ought to look

from the way he looked then.

What?

What was that again?

Here we are.

All the equipment you'd
need to work with.

This is my niece, Dr.
Fredericks, ladies.

How do you do?

Just look at those tools, Hedy.

Doesn't that make you
want to whittle, huh?

It is magnificent.

Say the word and
you're on the staff

starting tomorrow morning.

Starting tomorrowmorning, I'm on the staff

of the Enderley Foundation.

Yeah.

All we need is doctors.

You know, everybody
thought Pope was crazy.

But this hospital willtake care of half the state

after the w*r.

The last time I
saw Mr. Pope, he

fixed my bicycle for me in thatlittle shop on Gibson Street.

Remember?
-Yes.

Yes.

Now, I want you to seeour wonderful award, Hedy,

and there's a couple
of convalescents

I'd like you to meet.

Yes.

Well, you give them
my regards, Uncle Doc.

I'm going to run out
and see Mr. Pope.

Yes, but Hedy, I'm--

Let me know when
you're leaving.

You-- oh, doggone it.

Hi ya, boss.

Want me?

Where in the high
octane have you been?

Lunch.

Three hours and 48 minutes?

Yeah.

Some dizzy dame delayed me.

And when I finally gotin, the food was terrible.

And then it cost me $1.50

Oh, no it didn't.

Oh, no it didn't cost you $1.50.

What do you mean it didn't?

It cost you $1,000.

Washington wanted the B-76set down in Guam in 21 hours.

There was $1,000 bonus in it.

Well, I can still make it.

Oh, no you can't.

Not unless you can fly
faster than the B-76.

Johnson took off an hour ago.

I couldn't take a chance.

But don't worry about it.

What's $1,000 more or less?

What's the w*r more or less?

What's anything more
or less when you're

having lunch with a girl.

I assume she was beautiful,at least $1,000 worth.

What in thunder do I smell?

That's her perfume.

It spilled.

Well, why don't you just puta little dab behind your ears

in the morning
instead of carrying

the bottle around with you?

Well it was for that
girl I was supposed

to have lunch with today.

If that dizzy dame hadn't--

Oh, I've got
complications enough

without you and your women.

What you doing tonight?

I've got a date to try tosquare with the girl I was

supposed to have lunch with.Sorry.

You've got a date to tryand square yourself with me.

Punchinskaya of theRussian purchasing office

gets in tonight.

They want a test of
our flame dampener.

Take the comrade to dinnerand be ready to apply the test

as soon as it's dark enough.

Oh, can't we put this
off till tomorrow?

Not unless you want
to resign and devote

yourself exclusively to love.

Now get going.

OK, boss.

Oh.

I'm so sorry.

Lady, I don't know where youcame, but I wish you'd go back.

Why, Hedy.

Hello, Mr. Pope.

How are you?

My, isn't this grand?

Not much like the oldbicycle shop on Gibson Street.

This is a fine way
to spend a furlough.

All we get is a ride to Chicago.

In the meantime,
we've wasted a night.

Oh, listen, d*ck.

I'd waste a night any
time to ride 600 miles

in the front seat with Hedy.

Hey, by the way, where's
that little wolf, Tommy?

Oh.

The old battleaxe has probablygot him working somewhere.

Gee, this is swell
of you, Ms. Gravitt.

You can call me Martha.

I'm Tommy.

I can't understand why thischicken should be so tough.

I cooked it for twohours in this sterilizer.

We used to have a
cook, but she's getting

$75 a week at the plant now.

Poor doctor, he lived
on peanuts and pop.

You're a sweet child.

You're a cute little
trick yourself.

Oh.

This is our last stop.

Do you remember
Stella Livingston?

Yes.

What's wrong with her?

Well, she got hurt
when an emery wheel

blew up at the plant and
cut her face to ribbons.

Oh, I'm sorry.

She was such a pretty girl.

Well, I'm afraid
she won't be anymore.

Hello, doctor.

Well.

How you do, Ms. Moriarty?

This is my niece,
Dr. Fredericks.

How do you do?

Go in and see Stella, will you,Hedy, and I'll wash my hands.

She's in there.

Stella.

Hedy.

Oh, it's wonderful
to see you again.

Uncle Doc told
me what happened.

Why, I bet I look a fright.

I can't even fix my hair andI know the house is a mess.

The house is as neat as a pin.

Oh, Mrs. Moriarty's
been very kind.

Taken care of me while
Mother's at the plant.

But I'm afraid I'm anawful nuisance to everyone.

$20 a week compensation,
and 20 years added

to the poor darling's looks.

Oh, Hedy.

Am I going to look terrible?

Of course not, dear.

Well, now, let's get
these bandages off

and see how she's doing, hm?

She's been a brave
soldier, Hedy.

Took them three hours to findme when this thing happened.

Only two doctors in this town.

Bad situation.

Just a minute, dear.

There we are.

Ah.

Now let's see.

Why, not bad.

Not bad at all.

How long has it been, Stella.

Six days and five hours.

Mm hm.

Just put your hand
there, will you, dear?

Did you notice how those
sutures are holding, hm?

Yes.

You're going to be just fine.

Will-- will there
be many scars?

No, no.

I don't think so.

Of course, it's a
little early yet.

I don'twant to be scarred, Hedy.

No.You're going to be all right.

Just as pretty as ever.

Well,
how long will it take?

Oh, a week or two.

By Halloween, you'll
be ready for a party.

Halloween?

That's all I've beenthinking about sitting here.

Halloween.

A big yellow pumpkin
with a face cut in it.

Will I look like a
pumpkin with just holes

for my eyes and nose and mouth?

No, dear.

Oh, you wouldn't

say that just to make me
feel better like Mother

and Mrs. Moriarty, would you?

Now, now, now.

Now, come now.

You be a good girl
and stop worrying.

You're going to be able
to see with your eyes

and breathe through your noseand kiss with your mouth.

What more do you want, hm?

Come here, dear.

Do you have to go, Hedy?

Well, I really should.

I-- I've got to
leave for Chicago

very early in the morning.

Oh, don't cry, Stella.

Tell your mother I'll dropby in a day or two, Stella.

Come on, Hedy, dear.

Do you know what her faceis going to look like?

Yes.

Yes, I know.

But I can't help it.

I-- I'm not a plastic
surgeon and they

haven't money enough
to take her to Chicago.

But we can't leave
her like this.

She was the prettiest
girl in town.

Yeah.

Well, I don't know whatwe're going to do about it.

Stop.

I know what we're
going to do about it.

Hoo boy.

I'm Stella's mother.

Stella who?

Stella Livingston.

She's in there.

Livingston, Stella,
plastic surgery,

Dr. Hedy Fredericks operating.

Dr. JH Fredericks assisting.

Sit over there, Mrs. Livingston.

Thank you.

Do you think she's
going to be all right?

I have no way of knowing.

Sponge.

Tie.

Small scalpel.

Cotton.

Tie.

How is she?

Pulse and blood pressure good.

Tie.

I'm doing a subcutaneous closureso it won't leave a scar.

Suture.

Thanks, Uncle Doc.

Thanks for the lesson.

Is she all right?

I'm sure she is.

You've nothing more
to worry about.

No.

Hedy, I think we
better change, huh?

Your uncle told me
he thought he could

get you to operate on Stella.

But I'd almost given up hope.

When did he say that?

Oh, ever since the accident.

Well, I just assumed,
Hedy, that you--

Oh, I see.

Well, Dr. Frederickswill change her dressings

when it's necessary.

I'm leaving for
Chicago in the morning.

Nice try, though, Uncle Doc.

Imagine a place like thisin a town where the mayor

used to live in a haystack.

That's what aviation does.

Rings for the farmer's daughter.

Give me the farmer's daughter.

Lovely.

Sorry.

No tables.

Only reservations.

Is it hopeless?

Well, uh, we'll just standaround watch the girls go by.

You know, you can
never tell when

some little Elsie's
liable to show up

with-- without a
destroyer escort.

Let's get a drink.

That's just the time
the Marines score.

Yes, sir.

A couple ofmartinis Walden, will you?

No olives.

Right
away, Mr. Morgan.

I've been trying to believeyou didn't know that girl

you held hands with all noon.

I never saw that girl
before in my whole life,

and I swear I hope I
never see her again.

I wonder.

Martini, please.

How we doing, Walden?

Coming right up.

We're not having
much luck here.

You think we could try
the dining room again?

Oh.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Well, if it isn't Smedley.

Will you excuse me
a moment, please?

Of course.

No girl sings "good evening"in that tone of voice

unless at some time
or another, you've

given her a very good evening.

Let's not start
that again, darling.

Let's go sit down andhave a nice quiet dinner.

I trust you, dear, really I do.

Just as far as I could
throw St. Patrick's

Cathedral by the steeple.

I forgot to tell you.

The boss wants me to take careof a Russian pilot tonight.

He's a sort of a purchasingagent or something.

Oh, that's all right.

He might be interesting.

Evening, Smedley.

Yeah.

Hiya I Smedley,
old cutie old stud.

What, don't you remember us?

Yeah.

Hi, babe.

Why do they call you Smedley?

Do you mind if
I sort of explain

that to you a little later?

For Morgan Hale!

Call for Mr. Morgan Hale!

Here I am, mister.

Are you Mr. Morgan Hale?

Yeah.

Follow me, big boy.

I'll be right back, Augustus.

Wait for me, honey.

Oh, no you don't.

I'm going with you.

Say,
can't you trust

me as far as the telephone?

Say, uh, we'll just step insideand wait for good old Morgan.

It's just a little
table for two.

We can make it.

Just put in a few extra chairs.

Oh, uh, Neil.

I'm a waiter, not a cop.

Three extra chairs
for Mr. Hale's table.

Three extra chairs?

Four.

-Four?
-Four.

Yeah.

One on top of the other.

I'm sorry I took
so long powdering.

There were 42 noses
ahead of mine.

Look, madam.

The table is only 17 anda half inches in diameter.

What are we going
to do with a table

that small with six people?

Well, we might cut
it up into toothpicks.

Table 22.

What's this all about?

Oh, uh, Smedley's invitedus to join his party.

But why?

Come on.

This is no time to questiona guy's patriotism.

Oh.

Of course, I still can't
understand if you never

saw the woman
before why you're so

chummy with all of her friends.

I'm not chummy
with her friends.

Her friends are chummy with me.

Of course, I realize
you're catnip to women.

But when you're with me, you--

I resent that.

As long as I've been with you,I've been as true as I could--

As true as a $2 coronet.

Well, what am I supposedto do if someone-- what am I

supposed to do when a woman I'venever seen before looks at me?

Slap your eyes and
turn up your nose, dear.

Right this way, please.

She's all yours.

I am Comrade Punchinskaya.

You?
You?

But you can't be.

Uh, they-- would-- they--they put women up in the--

Women in Russian skies?

Well, it's a good idea andI'm all for it and everything,

but, uh, I was a
little surprised.

You'd be, too, if you expected agreat big tall fella about this

high with a big black beard.

Oh.

You are disappointed.

Oh, no.

No, not at all.

Uh, this is, uh, Ms--uh, Comrade Punchinskaya.

She's a girl.

-Oh, really?
-Yes.

This is Ms. Cross.

Hello.

You know, you have suchwonderful names in English.

So descriptive.

Your charming secretary
is named Cross.

In Russian, it is.

It means the same, cross.

Angry.

You catch?

I catch.

So while you two are playingcatch, I want to make it clear.

I'm not his secretary.

Well, now, let's have dinner.

It's all ready.

Just right down here, please.

And your name?

Hale.

It is.

Big, strong, healthy.

Now which way we go?

Augustus.

Right this way, Augustus.

Augustus.

I forgot to tell you, I'madding one more to my table.

One more?

Yeah.

Certainly.

Five more.

10 more.

What does it matter?

Accommodate any number.

All we've got to do
is put in more chairs.

Expand the walls.

We can-- your table, Mr. Hale.

Well, uh, here we are, Smedley.

Hi.

Maybe you think we
didn't have a tough time

holding this table for you.

Well, isn't this nice?

I didn't know we were
going to have a party.

Fun for all.

Won't you introduce us, Catnip?

Ms. Fredericks, Ms. Cross,and Comrade Punchinskaya.

Uh, Smith, Smith, and Smith.

How do you do?

How do you do?

Well, uh, let's, uh,
make ourselves at homes.

Sit down.

Sit down, everybody.

Comrade, right over here.

We were just ordering.

Beg your pardon, mister.

Oh.

We seem to be one chair
short, even if there

were a place to put it.

What are you going to have?

Move over, Smedley.

We'll sit together until
they find another chair.

Yeah.

Well, to tell you the
truth, I'm not hungry.

I had a late lunch.

Very late.

You're fatter than I figured.

How about it?

Well, thanks.

I'd love to.

Say, there is an idea.

Excuse me.

Comrade, how about
a , eh?

Wonderful.

Hedy?

Oh!

Well, that would be fine.

Uh, are you sure you don'tmind being left by yourself?

Oh, not at all.

I enjoy watching young
people have a good time.

Oh.

Well, don't go
away, Smed, old kid.

I won't.

Ah, ah, ah, ah.

I beg your pardon.

It's wonderful what auniform will do, isn't it?

Amazing.

Yes, sir.

We can't do enough for them.

Apparently not.

What do you do?

I'm a test pilot.

Just like waiting on tables.

Somebody's gotta do it.

Comrade, you catch?

I catch.

Harry, you're like of my own country.

So wild and so strong.

Is that bad?

No.

That's very good.

Oh, Comrade.

Well, we leave tomorrow.

Oh, no!

You can't go tomorrow.

I think you're right, sugar.

There's no sense in starting afire then putting it right out.

But what about sitting bull?

Hey, as far as I'm concerned,he's the forgotten man.

It's awfully rude, leavingour host by himself.

I think I'll go back and sitthe rest of this out with him.

Do you mind?

Well, no.

Of course not.

I'll just go right
on dancing by myself.

That's a good boy.

That's a good boy.

Tommy's having
a wonderful time.

He's just young
enough to be dazzled

by a girl of that formula.

Ms. Cross is a very dearfriend of mine, very nice girl.

That must be such a
consolation to you.

She's not merely ornamental.

She's in there pitching.

Yes.

She seems to be.

At the plant doing w*r work.

Now that's a coincidence.

Tommy's in w*r work too.

If you're insinuating thatI should be in a uniform--

Oh, the thought never occurredto me till you mentioned it.

You might be interested
to know I have

what I consider a very
important w*r job.

Oh, well, I'm--
I'm sure you do.

And what about you?

I don't see you in uniform.

Look, if you feel sounhappy about everything,

why did you ask us
to join your party?

I didn't ask you
to join my party.

You just horned in.

What?

Oh, this such lovely party.

Yes.
Lovely.

Comrade, we shall haveto hurry with your dinner

because we're expected atthe air field at 10 o'clock.

Yeah, Smed.

What goes on here?

What's cooking, huh, kid?

Mr. Hale flying test
for my government.

Oh, how interesting.

He must come back and tellus all about it some day.

A test pilot?

Yeah.

Is that bad?

Hey, uh, Smed, if
you're a test pilot,

everything's forgiven, huh?

Well, gee, thanks.

But didn't you know?

I thought you two
were old friends.

No.

Oh.

He's magnificent test pilot.

Is that not so, Morg?

Hey, I don't know
how it is in Russian,

but in English
"morgue" is a very

bad nickname for a test pilot.

Oh, Smedley.

As you can
see, this flame dampener

can be attached to
any exhaust manifold

in any plane in a few minutes.

There's been a lot of
these things designed,

but we think this one's a dilly.

Come on now.

This one is called dilly.

You would be amazed how
many planes we have lost

because the enemy can followthe flares from the exhaust

against the night sky.

Yes, I know.

The test will have to bemade in complete darkness.

I'll go to the
tower to supervise.

I'll see you later.

I wonder why they
stopped the music.

I don't know.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Attention, please.

The lights on the fieldand in the hotel and cafe

will be extinguished
for the purposes

of an important
government flight test.

Well.

Say, why don't
we just stay here?

We can get a wonderful viewof the field from the balcony.

I should think it'd bedangerous flying in the dark.

You've no idea how Morgancan get around in the dark,

or have you?

Come on, kids.

Tell Hale to turn
off his lights.

NC-678.

This is Blythefield Tower.Over.

Blythefield Tower,

this is NC-678.

Go ahead.

OK, Morgan.

Turn off your lights.

Turn off all the
airport lights.

Yes, sir.

All right.
Let's go.

NC-678.

Six OK, Hale.

Let's go.

Didn't tell him
to mow the lawn.

The dampener's clattered awayand stuck on the elevator.

Turn on the field
lights, quick.

You got anything
to say, mister,

you better say it quick.

I don't know how long
I'm going to be here.

Get out and bail out.

I think I can
bring this baby in.

Oh.

Good evening, Dr. Fredericks.

Good evening.

Is Dr. Blake here?

We haven't been able
to locate him yet.

Did you try to get my uncle?

Well, he's out on a call.

Oh.

Pulse 120.

Respiration 35.

Temperature 96.

Slight vasomotor syndrome.

Is he badly hurt?

No.

It looks like a slightconcussion and skin lesion.

It's nothing serious, but itdoes need immediate attention.

I'm George Hastings, doctor.

Friend of Mr. Hale's.

Oh, how do you do?

Thank you.

There she is again.

What are you doing here?

I'm going to do a
stitching job on you.

Not on me!

I'm waiting for Dr. Fredericks.

He won't be here
till after midnight,

and you should have someneedlework done right away.

She'll probably do itneater anyhow, being a lady.

Well, thanks very much.

But if you don't mind, I'llwait for Dr. Fredericks.

She's a physician
and surgeon too.

Who is?

She is.

Oh, no.

Certainly.

She can't be.

Yes.

Well, well.

What do you know?

Well, I'll take a pill,
but no crocheting.

Can you stand a
little pain or does

baby want some soothing syrup?

Just do the little
stick and plaster.

Nothing too fancy.

That's the way that
plane was put together.

We want you to last longer.

Well, thank you.

Now here we go.

Hurt much?

I can
take it if you can.

Don't worry about me.

I can stitch like
this all night.

Now we tie a knot in it
so you won't unravel.

How about a drink?

By all means.

Spiritus frumenti, one ounce.

Will
you have one with me?

Why not.

Spiritus frumenti, two ounces.

Hey, how come you get twoounces and I only get one?

Who's done all the work?

You have, and you've
done a swell job.

There.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Here's to you, doctor.

Pain?

-Hungry.-Well, then you'd better eat.

Swell.

Will you have dinner with me?

Well, I'm afraid I'm too busy.

Thanks just the same.

Well, I'll wait around.

I've nothing to do tilltomorrow morning at 8 o'clock.

Neither have I.

Go home to your wife.

How about it, doctor?

I'm sorry, but I
simply won't have time.

You can call me if your
head aches too badly.

You're sending me
away terribly hurt.

With that little scratch?

Run along, sonny.

Well, uh, how about
tomorrow night?

-If you insist.
-Great!

Where?

Chicago.

I'm leaving in the morning.

Good night.

-This beats that powdered stuff.-Yeah.

I'll bet it does.

-Good morning, everybody.-Well, good morning.

Good morning.

Say, what happened
to you last night?

We got in at 3 o'clock
and you were still out.

At your service.

Well, thank you.

How do you know?

-Well, we looked in your bed.-Yeah.

You should have looked in mine.

I was in it for the
first time in weeks.

You won't ever get
ahead like that.

Well, I-- I finished
with Morgan Hale

and I was just
starting home when they

brought in the dearest
little old lady

you ever saw in your life.-Yeah.

What was the matter with her?

Delirium tremens.

Now you see why I
don't want to practice.

I like my sleep and I don'tlike being tired unless I

have fun getting that way.

Hey, what time do we shove off?

Well, uh, we can't go today.

Why not?

Well, I want to check

out Morgan Hale's sutures.

I feel a certainresponsibility toward him.

You understand,
don't you, Uncle Doc?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I understand.

And I approve.

What about your
responsibility to us?

Yeah, in getting us to Chicago.

What's the rush?

This isn't a bad town to
spend our furlough in.

Huh?

What?

What?

I'll see you guys aboard ship.

Now just a minute, junior.

Look, Lola begged me so hardto stay that I finally said,

OK, baby.

Just for a couple days.

So that'll be fine.

Then we'll all leave
in a couple of days.

Now look, Hedy--

Let's talk this thing over.

I want to get the whole story.

The first call I want you tomake is on old lady Tillsbury.

Well, she was about
to die eight years ago.

What's wrong with her?

Nothing.

She's practically immortal.

But whatever you
do, don't cure her.

She pays my rent.

Oh, well if it ain't Smedley.

And bright and early.

Early, but not bright.

What do you want?

What's it to you?

This is our barracks.
You know that.

Yeah.
And I'm bouncing you.

No.

Now
just a minute, boys.

How do you feel?

Oh, well, I feel fine now.

But this morning I woke up witha little bit of a headache.

How alarming.

Well, I wasn't near atelephone and couldn't call you,

but it occurred to me
you might want a report.

Well, thank you very much.

It relieves my mind no end.

Well, uh, what do you advise?

I advise you to go home andclose your eyes and your mouth.

Should I lie down?

Unless you can sleep
better standing up.

Come back in two days andI'll remove the stitches.

That's all.
-Yes.

I can see it is.

Goodbye.

There you are.

Practically as good as new.

Well, thanks a lot, doc.

As much as I dislikedhaving my skull fractured,

I'm sort of glad it happened
since it brought you

and me together.

That was Dr. Blake's loss.

Oh, doctor, why do you takethat attitude toward me?

Suppose every girl in the worldwas cold and professional?

Well, there'd be more surgicalchairs and less love seats,

I suppose.

You're absolutely right.

But what would happen
to the census takers

and the gentleman
who manufacture baby

buggies and Christmas toys?

In short, are you
content to grow

old and gray rolling pills?

With the cigaretteshortage, we may all have to.

Do you intend to
go on through life

just painting the human formdivine with mercurochrome?

In short, doctor, are yougetting enough out of this

racket to give up being alive?

In short, I don't blame youfor trying out your line on me.

But the demonstration's
free and there's

absolutely no obligation to buyand it takes very little time.

I agree with you.

I have my dreams.

They're modest, but I
have them, and that's

why, as fast as my littlewheels will carry me,

I'm leaving here.
-Leave here?

Why, you can't leave here!

Look, even if I stay, whatpossible good could it do?

Well, how do you
know until I try?

While you were telling meabout my swan-like throat,

I'd be looking down
another man's larynx.

Doctor, you are sordid,
but you're beautiful.

Don't you understand?

Even if I stayed and
helped Uncle Doc,

I wouldn't have
any time for you.

Well, tell me.

What can I do?

What can I do?

You can stand on the
curb and wave bye bye.

But I don't want to standon the curb and wave goodbye!

Hey, Private Smith.

Come on, boot.
Fall in.

Snappy way.
Look alive.

Let's get going.

Oh, why don't you send
the general a cable?

Tell him you'll see him later.

I kind of hate to
let the general down.

Oh, Thomas.

I know he'd understand.

Well, maybe.

Just for a couple days, though.

You guys go ahead.

I'll hitch hike in later.

Can you imagine
that little wolf?

He's built a nest for himself.

Maybe he's got something there.

Obviously.

Somehow I'm almost sorry
to leave Blythefield.

What has Blythefield got
that Chicago hasn't got?

Smedley.

Which is what I call a publicimprovement for Chicago.

Stop!

Stop, it's Morgan!

That's why we shouldn't stop.

Hey, Hedy.
You gotta come back.

What for?

-Why don't you go home?
-Well--

We're in a hurry.

Don't bother.
-I know.

But think of your uncle, Hedy.

Think of me.

Think of everything.

Hey, wait a minute, Hedy!

Wait.

What's the matter with you?

Are you crazy?

Yeah.

I'm crazy about you.

Look, Smedley, why
don't you give up?

Maybe we'd better stop.

Give it the gas, d*ck.

But she's my doctor
and I need her.

Do you want me to repeat
the Hippocratic oath?

You start swearing
in front of a lady

and I'll punch you in the nose.

Well, I'm going
to read it to you.

I don't want to hear it.

I'm going to read it anyway.

"I swear by Apollo, thephysician, and Asclepius,

by the gods and all the
goddesses that according

to my ability and judgment--"

Where did you get that board?

From your uncle!

"I will keep--"

The truck!

What truck?

Look!

A crane!

What crane?

According to the
law of medicine.

But to none other, I will--

Look outfor the one way bridge!

What bridge?

According to my ability
and judgment, I--

The tree!

He's dead, I hope.

I guess we'll have
to take him back.

What in heaven's name?

Better take him
before he

and have it over with.

Great Scott, what
happened to him?

A tree hit him on the head.

Oh, he better be careful
with that head of his.

It won't last for the duration.

Put him up on the table, boys.

Wait in the car.

I won't be long.

Fine.

Just a minute, folks.

Priority has arrived.

How does he look to you?

Remarkable.

We'll start a medicine show andtake him on the road, the man

with the cast iron head.

How are you feeling?

Huh?

How are you feeling?

Oh, like-- like I went
over the Niagara Falls

in a coal scuttle.

We better send him home.

I don't want him
hanging around here.

Oh, Gravitt.
Gravitt!

Hedy, go out and tell Gravittto call the ambulance, will you?

She knows the number.
-Yeah.

Well, I got her back.

Nice work.

Nice work.

But don't die on me, will you?

I won't.

But from now on, it's up
to you to keep her here.

I can't go on bashing
my brains out forever.

Yes.

But you've got to doyour part, too, you know.

You've got to keep
on playing sick

for a little while at least.

At this rate, it's
not much of a trick.

But I can't stand a dazedcondition indefinite.

You can't?

You've be doing all
right since you met her.

Yeah.

You want a cigarette?

Thanks.

You know, doc, I was thinking.

Aren't there some
sort of complications

could develop out of this?

You mean for fun or for keeps?

Mm hm.

Just a few little
aches and pains, just

enough to keep her here.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes, the first pain willbe $7.50 for an ambulance.

Oh, fine.

Golly, I've got a great idea.

When you-- when you
get home, telephone me.

I'll tell you.

Oh, doc.

Right here.

There goes another day.

I was born in this town, butI didn't expect to die in it.

Harry!

Front and center!

He was on the phone all night.

And again this morning.

That mouthpiece is
probably melted by now.

Oh, here he comes.

It's about time.

I promised Uncle Doc I'd
stop off and see Morgan.

Haven't we seen
enough of that guy?

It'll only take five minutes.

If it's, uh, all rightwith everybody, I think I'll

stick around a couple of days.

What gives now?

Tanya.

Thanks for everything, doctor.

I'll see you on the ship.

That's, uh, goodbye to
you, bub, in Russian.

Oh.

Land lease.

One Marine to Russia.

How do you do?

I'm Dr. Fredericks
to see Mr. Hale.

Oh, hello.

I'm so pleased to meet you.

Morgan told me all about you.

Oh, George!

The lady doctor's here!

I'll be right down.

Oh, I remember this old home.

It used to belong
to the Gilberts.

Oh, you've made
it look charming.

Thank you.

Hiya, doc.

What do you think of the layout?

Oh, I was justcongratulating Mrs. Hastings.

Let's sit down here.

Just think.

This all jumped
right out of a box.

You know, George inventedthe most wonderful little

jack-in-the-box before
the w*r, and all

of a sudden they found
out that the idea

could be used on airplanes.

Oh, it wasn't anything, really.

I think the mechanical
mouse was much better.

You must be so proud of him.

Uh, did Mr. Hale
get home all right?

Oh, fine.

How's he feeling?

Oh, just dandy.

Good.

Only, um, some of
his screws are loose.

Don't say that, George.

Oh, poor Morgan.

Well, just a minute.

Would you mind
reviewing the bidding?

You know, we all live heretogether, and of course

I'm George's wife--

Oh, she knows that.

Go on.

Morgan was always
a perfect boarder,

just like one of the family.

But ever since he came
home in the ambulance,

he's been acting like--
oh, what shall I say?

Cuckoo.

Well, what are the symptoms?

Does he do anything unusual?

I hope to tell you.

Such as?

Little things like hidingin the clothes closet.

What for?

He, uh, he says he's afraid.

A test pilot, afraid?

That guy was never
afraid of anything.

I kind of hate to be tellingyou this behind his back,

but something has to be done.

It was bad enough when hewas afraid of the bed, but--

It breaks my heart to see himcome out of the clothes closet.

Well, it's the guy's ownbusiness if he wants to sleep

in the clothes
closet, I suppose,

but-- say, do you supposethat knock on the noggin

had anything to do with it?

Possibly, but not probably.

Well, come on up and
take a look at him, doc.

Will you please?

Here we go again.

Just think,
yesterday he could

fly the crates they come in.

Morgan.

We're coming in.

He's not here.

He is, unless he's
jumped out the window.

Let me see.

His clothes are all here.

Oh, I know.

Come on out, honey.

We've got company.

What right have you to comebreaking in on me like this?

I don't want to see anybody.

Please go away and
leave me alone.

Wait a minute, now.

Wait a minute here.
Take it easy.

Take it easy.

Come on.

We've brought a nice
lady doctor to see you.

Sit down and be a good boy.

Morgan.

Madam, my name is Smedley.

And I'm very glad to know you.

Would you get my bag, please?

It's in the car.

Certainly.

Your name isn't Smedley.

Your name is Morgan Hale.

You only look like Smedley.

Well, that's funny.

Somebody told me my
name was Smedley Hoover.

Could we have a glass
of water, please?

Why, Hedy, what
are you doing here?

Gee, I hate to have yousee me looking like this.

I feel terrible.

Uh, tell me the truth,doc,do you think I'm minus

a few buttons or something?

Hm?

Oh, no.
No.

Of course not.

You're just as bright
as you ever were,

which may not be reassuring.

Well, uh, what's the
matter with me, then?

Well, that's what
we've got to find out.

Now tell me about it.

Oh, I couldn't.

It'd sound silly.

Don't let that stop you.

You sounded silly before.

Well, I've been banging aroundin airplanes for a long time,

you know, and, well, I've beengetting fuzzier and fuzzier.

Just in the ambulance,
I was shaking

like a bowl full of jelly.

Well, that could've been
caused by shrimp salad.

Has anything unusual
happened lately,

anything that would giveyou these hoops and jingles?

No.

But I can't get the feelingof fright out of my mind.

Here you are, doctor.

Oh, thank you.

The paroxysmal tachycardiacould indicate shock as a result

of the trauma to the head.

I'll give you a sedative.

You'll have to
stay in bed today.

I was going to leave town,but-- will you bring him over

to my uncle's office tonight?

Oh, I can't leave this room.

Why not?

Because it scares me.

Even you scare me, doctor.

Well, you scare me too.

So that makes it even.

Goodbye, and it's been
very busy meeting you.

He's going under the bed again.

Good.

At least he won't smother.

Everything happens to me.

With all the doctors
in the world,

I have to hit the
medical jackpot.

What do you figure it is, Hedy?

Well, I don't know.

I never was very good
at abnormal psychology.

Pantophobia, I suppose.

Fear of everything.

How are you going to treat it?

Psychoanalysis, I guess.

He really needs a
complete reorientation,

and I'll give it to him if Idon't lose my own mind first.

Well, it's after 10:00.

He won't be here tonight.

Probably they couldn't gethim out of the clothes closet.

Huh.

You know, they all agree thatin the treatment of neurosis,

the practitioner must havefrequent consultations

with the patient,
during which he's

encouraged to talk
freely of himself,

his thoughts, and his past.

Yes, I know.

And then all of a sudden uppops the villain of the piece,

that small, hidden
fear deeply embedded

in the subconscious mind.

But that'll take
weeks and weeks.

Maybe months, maybe years!

Yes, I'm afraid so.

Which of your
cases would you like

me to take over while I'm here?

Why, Hedy.

Do you really mean
that you will?

That never occurred
to you, did it?

Why, no, it hadn't.

Liar.

Well, now let me think.

Tomorrow I have an appendectomyand the Wilkinson baby is due--

I'll have the Wilkinson baby.

gone to bed.

But she told us
to bring him tonight.

Oh, look here.

I want to go home.

Um, I think you'd better seehim for a little while, hm?

In this?

Well, why not?

It will make him feel
perfectly at home.

Oh.

We must find the core
of this latent fear.

We must bring it out intothe open and discuss it.

Once we've been able to
consider it objectively,

you'll be completely restored.

Smedley.

What was that?

Just the slats falling
out of Gravitt's bed.

Come on.

Nothing will hurt you.

Why doesn't Ms. Gravitt
get her slats fixed?

Well, in these times, she'dhave to marry the carpenter.

Sit down.

Now, you sit here too.

I'll feel safer.

We'll have to begin byweaning you away from that.

Yes.

Now, what's your
first recollection?

When I was five years old,I had a little red wagon.

Red wagon.

I remember the name of thewagon was Lickety Split.

It had little red wheels.

Friend, 7, got lost followingorgan grinder and monkey.

Both had fleas.

Is that right?

Mm hm.

That's right.

Uh, I think that's
enough for tonight.

But why?
It's early yet.

I was just about to go
into my adolescence.

I think you've been
there quite a while.

We'll continue thetreatment tomorrow night.

Do you mind if I
kissed you good night?

What?

Because you're the onlyfriend in the world I have,

the only person I really trust.

Well--

Is that a kiss or
a tonsillectomy?

Oh.

Uh, we were just
saying good night.

Well, I think you'd bettersend the patient home

before the treatment startsto take effect, don't you?

Yes.

Um.

Well, I guess we can shut upthis asylum for the evening.

Good night, Uncle Doc.

Oh, no we can't.

Why not?

They're sending a suspectedglaucoma over from the plant.

Oh, my.

We ought to put a brasspole in this fire station.

Would you like to see
a suspected glaucoma?

Well, it's awfully kind of you.

But I-- I don't
this so, tonight.

Good night.

Good night, Hedy.

Good night, Ms. Gravitt.

Good night.

Uh, sit down a minute,
will you, Gravitt?

You know, I'm afraid Hedy isn'tas bright as I thought she was.

She must take after yourbrother's side of the family.

Yes.

Yes, I guess she--
what was that?

I only suggested
this pantophobia

idea out of sheer desperation.

But I didn't imagine
that she'd fall for it.

She wouldn't if she were in herright mind, but she's in love.

Of course, a hard-shelled oldbachelor isn't supposed to know

anything about women in love.

Oh, is that so?

Well, I know enough
about women in love

to have stayed a bachelor,which I might add,

Gravitt, takes a great dealof skill and perseverance.

But Hedy can't be suspicious.

Otherwise, why would she
go through with this?

Well, you will find
the explanation on the R

in fraud, rationalization.

Hedy believes the big mooseis balmy because she wants to.

Ah.

You know, you wouldn't
look it, but you should

have been a psychologist.

I am.

Doggone it, what do
you think of that?

Well, no newspaper this morning.

The most amazing thing
about newspapers.

They spend millions
of dollars gathering

news from all over the world.

Great editors sit up all
night writing editorials

to move public opinion.

And then long about daylight,they entrust it to a small boy

to throw under a hedge.

And it isn't even
under the hedge.

Yeah.
What kept you, Hedy?

Oh, that diphtheria.

I got no reaction from
sulfur, so at midnight

I called for oxygen.

-Hey, doc!
-Yeah.

-Looking for your paper?
-Yeah!

I got it.

Oh, he's got it.

Elmer Jones.

What happened to you?

Oh, I had a fine night.

I stopped off to see abronchitis out in the country

and he coughed me to sleep.

Right in front of
the stove, too.

Here you are.

Oh, thank you.

Well, thank you, Elmer.

You sure you're
finished with it, huh?

Oh, yeah.

This is my niece,
Dr. Fredericks.

-Howdy.
-How do you do?

Birds of a feather
flock together, huh?

You know, your uncle has been asbusy as a one armed paperhanger

lately.

Yeah, well, we've both beenkept at it pretty hard, Elmer.

Well, all work and noplay makes Jack a dull boy,

so the fellows say.

Yeah.

Well, just a minute, doc.

Maybe you could give me alittle advice, you know?

One good turn deserves another.

I-- I've had a little troublewith my stomach lately,

and every once in while I go--

Well, better an empty
house than a bad tenant.

Say, I gotta remember that.

Yes, yes.

Add that to your collection.

Well, uh, doc, what do youthink I better do about--

--this?

Just take a little baking soda.

When?

Whenever you feel you
want to stop burping.

-And how much?
-$3.

Oh, no.I mean how much baking soda?

Oh.

Uh, what dosage would
you prescribe, doctor?

Oh, if I were Mr. Jones, I'dsprinkle it on my hot cakes

instead of sugar.

Well, thanks a million.

Don't take any
wooden nickels now.

Goodbye, Elmer.

Morgan should be
here any minute.

That is, if they couldget him out of the closet.

You know, you're going to spoilthat pet squirrel of yours.

This is Sunday.

Supposed to be a day of rest.

He can't get any crazier
between now and Monday.

Come in, Uncle Doc.

You know, I'm
worried about Morgan.

Well, so would I
be if I had him.

He doesn't seem to beshowing much improvement.

You know, Hedy, I-- I think Iknow what your patient needs.

Well, if it isn't a medicalsecret, I wish you'd tell me.

Your patient needs
what is described

in the highest scientificcircles as a sweetie.

You know, sweetie?

Well, he was having
dinner the other night

with a girl named Lola.

He seemed very much
interested in her.

Is that so?

She a nice girl?

Oh, very.

I don't think she had
many brains, but--

Well, if it's the same
girl I saw him out with,

she doesn't need brains.

Anyway,Morgan's love life is something

I can't discuss with him.

Well, now, I
don't know why not.

You're his physician,
aren't you?

Oh, this is funny.

Oh, there ought to be alaw against this, you know.

Here I am reading
the comic strip

and it turns out to be anadvertisement for toothpaste.

Huh.

I'm doing all I can
for him professionally.

Yes, yes, so I noticed.

But that kiss probably
has worn off by now.

Are you suggesting that I--

Well, of course if
you're not sufficiently

interested in
curing your patient,

you could probably find someother adorable girl for him.

Well, I never heard
anything so shocking.

Well, now what's so
shocking about that?

After all, a
physician's job doesn't

begin and end with writinga prescription, you know.

Well, there's a limit.

I suppose if you had apatient, a charming woman of 40

who needed romance, you'd--

Sacrifice myself for the cause?

Definitely.

Uncle Doc, I'm amazed at you.

I'd be amazed at myself,
but I'd make the effort.

Come and get him.

Where is he?

Out in the yard
playing with the duck.

Playing with a duck.

Well, are you
two getting along?

I'm trying to teach
this duck how to swim.

Well, as Elmer Jones wouldsay, birds of a feather.

Look!

We can do tricks!

But baby, we can't
do everything.

Mystic powers, he
thinks he's Frank Buck.

Morgan.

Come out here immediately.

What are you doing
under that house?

I like it under here.

I always go under houses.

You were scared.

Yes, I was.

You come with me.

I want to talk to
you very seriously.

Where we going?

We're going over here to
have a nice little chat.

Now sit down.

There.

Hey, would you like
to sit down too,

because it scares me with youstanding there looming over me.

Well, let's get
down to business.

If-- if you're
going to get well,

you and I must work
very close together.

Oh.

Well, that-- that's
great with me.

The closer, the better.

Well, now, many
cases of maladjustment

originate with
emotional frustration.

You know what I mean.

Well, uh, yes, I know whatyou mean by frustration.

Well, I want to talk
to you about an idea

that Uncle Doc suggested.

Dr. Fredericks feels
that what you need

is more feminine companionship.

Yeah.

Well, uh, which Dr. Fredericks?

-Uncle Doc.
-Oh!

Well, he's a very
learned man and he

knows exactly what ails me.

And this is my idea
of good medicine.

Pardon me.

Here, here, puppy!

Here's a nice big stick.

Look.

Hey, look.

Here, up, up.

Go get it.

There it is.

Isn't there some girl to whomyou're tremendously attracted?

Only you, darling.

Well, I think in ourprofessional relationship

you might call me doctor.

Anything you wish, Dr. Darling.

Now we'll find
some girl for you,

sweet and charming who will fillthat aching void in your life.

Oh, I may be voice,
but I don't ache.

Now I know a lovely
girl, a patient of mine.

You don't have to
worry about a thing.

I'll make all the arrange--

Oh!

I find an alarming leukocytechange in the Nelson case.

Order the operating
room for 10 o'clock

in the morning, osteomyelitisoperation spinal anesthetic.

And tell Mary to come in.

Your general condition isvery satisfactory, Mrs. Gage.

Have the prescription
I gave you filled.

I will.

Thank you very much.

You're welcome.

Come in, Mary.

I'm certainly glad
to see you here.

It's really very important.

Is it about Morgan?

Yes.

I think I've found the
cause of his trouble.

Sit down.

I just know it's
something awful.

Well, it isn't yet.

We have a fighting
chance if you'll help.

I'll do anything in the world.

Mary, Morgan needs a romance.

And that's where you come in.

But I'm married.

Well, that's why I thought youwould understand and cooperate.

Well, you want to see
him cured, don't you?

Yes, but still--

You and George are
devoted to Morgan.

Well, George is
awfully fond of Morgan,

but well, I don't think
he's that fond of him.

Well, I mean you're in aperfect position to help,

living in the same
house and all.

Well, I don't know what
George will say, but--

We've got to put Morgan
on a very careful diet.

He eats like a horse now.

No, no.

I mean a diet insofar as
his appetite for women

is concerned.

We'll find a blonde
or a brunette--

it doesn't make any difference--and see which agrees with him.

Hello, Hedy.

Hello, Stella.

I've been wanting to thankyou, not that I can ever

put into words what I feel.

Well, you should
really thank Uncle Doc.

It was his idea.

Oh, by the way, if yousee Uncle Doc and Morgan,

will you tell them
I'm looking for them?

-Surely.
-Yeah.

Thanks.

Punch?

Where on earth is Morgan?

I can't find him anywhere.

Poor Morgan.

Uh oh.

Uh oh is right.

Come on.

Let's go get a
snort of lemonade.

Well, doc, I'm getting
awfully tired of this.

Maybe you think I'm not.

I never thought a mancould be such a nuisance.

Well, it was your idea.

Who's, uh, who's
this flibbertigibbet?

That's a gal by
the name of Babe.

Babe.

Mm hm.

I assumed so.

Who's this?

That's a little girl
from my hometown,

New Orleans, Louisiana.

I'll go back there one day.-Yeah.

But in the meantime, you'll keepon with this mental Mardi Gras,

won't you?

You can't weaken now, you know.

If Hedy ever finds out, you'rea lost lover and I'm a dead doc.

Morgan!

Uh oh.

You're on again.

Come in.

Stop that.

This is ridiculous.

The party is being
given for you,

and here you sit like a-- whatare you afraid of down there?

Ms. Gravitt.

That's good.

I'm a little afraid
of her myself.

Everyone went to such
trouble to arrange

this party for you, Morgan.

Well, I don't want a party.

All I want to do is stay
in the clothes closet.

What do you do in
there, by the way?

Well, I play with
my tennis racket.

Isn't it a little crowded?

I pretend it's a mandolin.

It's just like a
mandolin, you know,

except it doesn't
make any noise.

My, my.

He's getting along
just fine, isn't he?

Come along.

You've got to go
down and mingle.

But I don't want to mingle.

If you ask me, I'd say he wasmingled up enough as it is.

Oh, I don't want
to go down there.

I don't understand
why a man can't enjoy

the simple pleasures
of life like sitting

quietly in a clothes closet.

Now, you must pull
yourself together.

We'll go down and I'll be withyou, at least until we can

find the right girl for you.

You see, Morgan, we're tryingto divert your interest.

Oh.

How about that girl
in the blue dress?

Where?

Oh.

I'm scared of blue dresses.

You see, the sky's a
girl in a blue dress.

She'll lure us pilots
higher and higher

till finally they pass out.

Oh, no.

Never a girl in a blue dress.-All right.

All right.

We'll find a girl
in another color.

Wait a minute.

What's on your mind now?

That girl in black.

Oh, oh.

Well, I don't think she'ddo you any good at all.

Well, how can you
tell until we try?

Well, you can see at
a glance what I mean.

Oh, at a glance.

I wish I were an osteopath.

Uh, uh, it's obvious we
must find someone else.

Bertha.

She wouldn't scare you.

Nice girl.

No.

She doesn't scare me.

She terrifies me.

Oh, nonsense.

She's perfectly safe.

No, no, no,

I wouldn't be so
sure about that.

Her husband was a
patient of mine.

It was on their wedding
day and he took her home

from the church and
gave her a quick kiss

and came down with hydrophobia.

Oh, it was a sad case.

It really--

Oh, now look there.

There's a cute little number.

By George, no bigger
than a minute.

You could put her on yourknee and spin her like a top.

I hope you realize that
over-stimulation is just

as bad as being a blubber head.

And you're not
much help, either.

Come along.

I want her.

Sh.

But why can't I have her?

She can cure me of
everything I've got.

Now just dismiss
her from your mind.

I've found just
the girl for you.

Dottie!

This is Morgan Hale.

How do you do?

I, uh-- you've got to pardon mebecause I got-- left my photo--

I-- I've got to go, go away.

Well, well.

Hello, Dottie.

Still on your diet, I see.

Yes.

This is the charming youngsedative I've prescribed

for our mental aberration.

Oh.

The cure might be worse thanthe disease here, though,

don't you think?

Well, Dottie, have
a pleasant evening.

I will.

If you can catch him.

Oh, darling.

Promise me you'll never
look at another woman.

On my word of honor as a Marine.

As long as I'm in Blythefield.

What's your address
again, honey?

I'll write you every day assoon as I leave Blythefield.

As soon as you leaveBlythefield, just address

me care the Skylands
Cafe, Darby.

You want me to keep up
my morale, don't you?

Keep it up at home with
an apple and a book.

Do you have a cigarette, angel?

I'm not sure.

Oh, Morgan, you.

We better find out
what's-- well, well.

Lovely party.

Yes.

Yes, you are.

Uncle Doc.

He's going to take Dottiehome, and that's an order.

Now about last night.

What was your emotion whenyou left Dottie at her door,

as I assume you did.

Great relief.

And then you drove directlyhome and went to bed.

But I didn't go to bed.

Well, what in the
world did you do?

Well, I met Tommy
and Lola walking home,

so I picked them up.

Oh, how nice.

And so I dropped
Tommy off first.

Well, why did you do that?

Lola lives a lot closer.

Well, I didn't want
to have to come back

and confess to you thatI was a complete washout.

You know, romantically?

Oh, well, what has
Lola got to do with it?

I thought you and
she had split up.

Oh, well, it wasn't
as final as that.

And after all, I'm
more at home with Lola.

Yes.

I can imagine.

Well, she did all thespade work before I was sick

and, well, it's just a questionof developing the property now.

Well, I particularly
didn't prescribe Lola.

Well, I can
understand that, too.

There's a great therapeuticdifference between a bland diet

and raw meat.

I know, but she's a brunette.

I said bland.

B-l-a-n-d.

Oh.

Now, to what conclusion
did you come with Lola?

Well, I was feeling
my way carefully.

It was amazing when,
just for the experiment

while I was driving along, Iput my arm around her like this,

and immediately I became
as bold as a bull.

Uh, the simile
is bold as a lion.

You're a good doctor.

You certainly know what'sgood for what ails me.

And then you drove
her to her house.

Well, not right away
because we got lost.

Ha!

Isn't that funny?

Hilarious.

She's a cuddly little
thing, isn't she?

I don't know.

I never cuddled her.

Well, we arrived at herhouse about dawn, and I was--

And you kissed her good night.

Well, yes.

That was the only way I could--

Well, I didn't want you to makea medical martyr of yourself.

Oh, well, it wasn't bad at all.

Wasn't bad at all.

Yes.

Everything worked out fine.

Uh, where?

In the front of the fireplace.

It was just like old times.

She knew that I needed
her help, and, well,

she met me more than halfway.

How kind of her.

Yes.

Hedy.

Will you come in
a moment, please?

I'd be glad to.

You may as well go home.

I've been thinking.

There really isn't anythingmore I can do for you.

But you've done wonders!

Think of last night.

That's what I am thinking of.

Well, I'll wait here.

I know you want to
hear the rest of it.

Don't you?

You do want to hear
rest of it, don't you?

No!

Well.

Well, I suppose youknow all about it by now.

I'd love to hear more.

Now, I told Morgan to tell you.

But that poor sizzle head justcan't seem to remember anything

from one moment to the next.

You know, it-- it just allhit me like a load of bricks.

No thanks.

But on the way home, I saidto myself, Lola, honey,

what are you waiting for?

It must have all
been very thrilling.

Oh, it really was.

Of course, he may not be
the world's best bargain

with things the
way they are today,

but after all, there's
a terrific manpower

shortage and sister,does that man have power.

Nature has a very kind
way of compensating.

The less brains, the more brawn.

Say, he isn't so dumb.

You underestimate him.

And anyway, whatever hedoesn't know, I can teach him.

We're going to be
married the very minute

MacArthur gives him a day off.

MacArthur?

Yes!

He and Thomas work
together, you know.

Thomas?

Uh huh.

You mean Private Smith?

Yes.

I call him Thomas.

His mother calls
him Thomas, too.

Of course, General
MacArthur can call

him Tommy too if he wants to.

But somehow I think Thomasis sort of more dignified,

don't you think so?

Where is he now?

Oh, he was so happy he
just couldn't stand it.

He's gone down to Gilhooly'sbar now to get drunk.

Don't you think that's sweet?

Well, how do you
do, young lady?

I was just leaving.

Isn't my news too exciting?

You'll never know
how happy I am.

Oh, thank you, Dr. Hedy.

Goodbye.
-Goodbye.

-Bye, doctor.
-Goodbye.

Bye.

How's your patient doing, Hedy?

Well, I don't know.

Every time I see him, hedevelops a new set of symptoms.

Well,
that must be fun.

Well, I don't think fun'sexactly the word for it.

For instance, I just discoveredthat he's a dreadful liar.

He also suffers under thedelusion that he's Casanova.

Well, that's a verycommon masculine ailment.

I suffer from it
myself every spring.

Well, I'm not so much worriedabout Morgan at this point

as I am about Hedy.

Uncle Doc, somethingawful has happened to me.

You don't say?

I'm in love with him.

Don't you understand?

I want to be his tootsie pie.

I'd be willing to
set up housekeeping

with him in a boobie hatch.

Well, birds of a feather,as Elmer Jones would say.

Well, I know you don'tgo in for psychoanalysis,

but do you realize
the tragedy of it all?

I'm a victim of transference.

Patients always develop
emotional relations

with their physicians.

Darnedest thing
I ever heard of.

Well, he's in love
with me now, but he

won't care a snap of hisfingers for me if I cure him.

Darnedest thing
I ever heard of.

Oh, stop saying that andtell me what I'm going to do.

I can't leave him goofy.

That'd be malpractice.

And on the other hand--

Well, now, I'll tell you.

Suppose he was cured.

Cured and yet still
in love with you.

Would that be all right?

That'd be a neat trick
if you could do it.

How do we begin?

Well, the same way wegot him goofy, I suppose.

What was that, Uncle Doc?

Well, now, he's a
nice young fellow

and you were bound
and determined

to light out for Chicago and hecouldn't get anywhere with you.

So when he asked my advice--

You suggested pantophobia anddescribed the symptoms to him.

Well, I had to do somethingto keep you interested here.

Seems to me everything's
worked out fine.

I'm the one that should
belong in a padded cell.

I have the brains of a jaybird.

And you, you old fraud.

You haven't the professionalethics of a burglar,

pulling the wool over my eyes!

You know, we were scared
to death that you'd

get wise to us any minute.

Oh, I was suspicious all along.

But then I'd hypnotize
myself into some sort

of a sweetly silly trance thateverything was on the level.

You and your amateur maniac.

But don't be too
pleased with yourself

and your crackpot patient.

Mr. Morgan Hale isn't cured yet.

On paper, it's perfect.

I wonder how it'll
be at 30,000 feet.

That's what we're paying youa bonus of $1,000 to find out.

Well I'll admit it's
a very soothing sum.

I hope I live to spend it.

Now if our figures
are correct--

And if they're not?

We've got a quarter of amillion tied up in that ship.

Yes.

But if anything should happen,we won't hold it against you.

Well, that's very nice.

Dr. Hedy Fredericks
to see Mr. Hale.

Send her in.

Dr. Fredericks to see you?

Are you a patient of hers?

Uh, yes, in a way.

What do you mean, in a way?You either are or you aren't.

My goodness.

If he's not in perfect
physical condition--

Listen, slip stick, if youwere as healthy as I am--

He's a mad man.

Oh, he-- he's quite
harmless, Mr. Pope.

I've been treating him.

For what?

Pantophobia, a slight
mental condition.

It looks slight.

Come out, Morgan.

Hedy's here.

There's no brain pathology.

-You mean there's no brain?-No.

He just ts frightened
once in a while

and can't resist
the impulse to hide.

Oh, I'm all right.

How long has he been
skittish like this?

Oh, not long, and he's makinga remarkable improvement.

I can't take a chance.

From now on, you're grounded.

Oh, I can fly this test.

I'll take an oath on it.

You have to be sane
to take an oath.

If I let this cuckoo
leave the ground,

they'll cancel my contracts.

Will you accept my professionalaffidavit that he's fit to fly?

Fit to fly?

He's fit to be tied.

A doctor's statement
will clear him.

-Yeah.-Will you put it in writing?

Notarized with a degree of MD.

Will you guarantee it?

If he'll do as I say.

If he doesn't, he won't fly.

What do you say, Morgan?

All right.

Let's go.

I haven't had so much funsince I was a bloomer girl.

Does she have to be so rough?

Oh, I must warn you.

This treatment's
a little rugged.

Of course, if you think
you can't stand it--

I can stand anything.

Uh, dig into those
ribs, Gravitt.

I want to stimulate
the circulation.

That's it.

That's all.

That's enough.

I don't want any more.

Well, you want to getwell and strong, don't you?

Not that well and
not that strong.

Just come right over here.

Will you please hold these?

What are they for?

Turn on the lightning.

He'll make this under himself.

Oh!

Help me!

Oh, it got me too!

That method is
absolutely unnecessary.

It's unethical.

I don't intend-- I don'tintend to stay here and--

--quietly and relax.

What's that humming?

Honey bees.

Honey bees?

My, they're mad.

Wh-- wh-- wh--
what are they for?

You.

The sting of a honey bee hasa markedly curative effect.

Now, wait a
minute, Ms. Gravitt.

You're my witness.

I'm discharging her as
my doctor and I'm taking

my case out of her hands.

Don't you want
to fly that test?

Don't you want to
get the $1,000 bonus?

Yes.

I do.

Well, then be a big fine boy.

Sit down here and do whatthe doctor tells you.

Well, how many are
going to bite me?

Well, they'll work that
out amongst themselves.

Oh!

Great ba*ls of fire,
those things hurt!

-Pardon.
-There, there.

Now we take this off and you--

Four million of them
must have bit me.

--get into this
heating cabinet.

It's relaxing.

But this is the last
thing I'm going to do.

You're going to like this.

Too bad we haven't
got a cross-cut saw.

I'm sorry I ever started this.

Yeah, I imagine.

Besides I never heard
of such a treatment.

Well, a physician andsurgeon can use any means

indicated to cure the patient.

That's our first obligation.

That is in the
Hippocratic oath.

Oh, Morgan's very
well acquainted

with the Hippocratic oath.

He rides along thehighway reading it aloud.

Oh, seriously, doc.

I'm very serious.

How long do you thinkwe ought to cook him, Dr. Hedy?

Well, how much do you weigh?

I weight 190 pounds.

It's awful hot in here!

Well, if we want him
well done, I'd say

about two hours in a slow oven.

Two?
Oh, doc, let me out.

Well, on the other
hand, we could

just brown him on
the outside and leave

him rare in the middle.

Would you get the ice
bath ready, please?

You can come out now.

Are you trying to k*ll me?

Yes.

I refuse to do another thing!

You're invading my privacy.

This is a cruel and
unusual punishment.

I want my clothes.

What kind of an
institution is this?

Well, of course if you'reafraid of a little ice bath,

we can wrap you in cottonbunting and send you home.

Afraid?You want me to get in there?

Yes.

Well, I'm going
to show you once

and for all I'm not
afraid of anything.

Well, that's fine.

If that's true, you'll--

Ooh!

Oh, no, no, no.

No you don't.

Easy now.
There.

Ooh.

Once you get in,
it isn't bad at all.

In fact, it's kind
of nice, really.

Nice when you get used to it.

And do a world of good.

Really, this will
fix it up fine.

If I ever get out of this thingalive, I'll settle with you.

Yes.

Well, the bill's going
to be a pit, too.

Yeah.

You can take him
out now, Gravitt,

before someone shoots
you for a walrus.

Walruses?

This is cold.

Woo!

You're almost through now.

What's the matter?

Can't you think ofanything else to do to me?

Well, I might if I
put my mind to it.

I want my pants.

Uh, pants for thepatient with pantophobia.

What have you got
to say for yourself?

If I live.

Congratulations.

Is that all?

Yes.

Only that now the
joke is on you.

Jo-- joke?

You mean that--

Uh, if you'll pardon
me, I'll be on my way.

Whenever you come
to Chicago, let me

know and I'll fly to Seattle.

She slipped on a chunk of ice.

All right.

We'll get her to a room, quick.

Easy now.

Take it easy.

Hello, baby.

Smorgan.

How do you feel?

Oh, I'm all right.

You can't be doing this.

Doing what?

Bashing your head in.

That's my department.

Oh.

We need you around this
town, don't we, doc?

I need you.

You have a wonderful
bedside manner.