03x04 - Is This Thing On?

[bunniefuu]

- Get ready for a Game Changer.

Who's that waltzing down the red carpet?

It's star of stage and screen, Jess Ross!

Look now to the limousine,

the epitome of elegance, Rekha Shankar!

And entering on horseback,

the always dashing Raphael Chestang!

And your host, me.

I've been here the whole time.

This is "Game Changer".

The only game show where
the game changes every show.

I am your host Sam Reich.

I am joined today by these
three lovely contestants.

Now, you all understand
how the game works.

- No, not at all.
- No.

- That's right.

Our players have no idea

what game it is they're about to play.

The only way to learn is by playing.

The only way to win is by learning.

And the only way to begin is by beginning.

So, without further ado, let's begin.

Players, get excited because
this is a prize game.

(upbeat music)

(shouting in celebration)

- Hell yeah, I'm ready to win!

- Thank God.

(all laughing)

- [Jess] Okay.

- Wait, what is happening?

I can't hear.

- I can't hear you.

Is this part of it, Sam?

- [Raph] Oh, no!

- [Kyle] Sam, I think your
audio is cutting out again.

Just press whatever button
it is you pressed last time.

Press that button.

- Do I have to help you figure it out?

(laughs)

- [Kyle] I think that
just for the sake of time,

we will go ahead

and do the rest of this
episode without Sam's audio.

Sorry, guys.

- Are you serious?
- Wait, what?

How's this possible?

Oh, come on.

- You little piece of sh*t.

You're all actors, aren't you?

(laughs)

Jess!

Two Jesses.

- [Jess] Oh my God.

- Oh no!

- Wait, what?

- [Rekha] Four Jesses.

It's Jess' turn.

- It's my turn. Okay.

Flower?

- [Rekha] Jessica gets a Jessica sticker.

(laughs)

- Hell yeah, is that my prize?

- [Rekha] Hell yeah.

- [All] Rekha.

- Jenga ba*ls.

(laughs)

- I don't think they
could afford Jenga ba*ls.

- Jenga ba*ls at least cost 150K, Raph.

Get your head in the game.

I wanna say soccer ball because
his mouth goes like this.

(indistinct)

I'll say soccer ball.

I'm wrong.

- Your sticker goes on
a turd if you're wrong.

- And I get turd delivered to my house.

(buzzer)

- Oh!

- [Raphael] Hey! That's me.

- Jenga ba*ls.

- Now, I also saw Jenga ba*ls.

(laughs)

- I can't help but see Jenga ba*ls.

- Look at Raph.

- Dentist ball.

- Keep going.

- What could be in front of ba*ls?

- I think you guess basketball.

Or Ben Wa ba*ls?

- What's a Ben Wa ball?

- Wait, no, I thought those
were the same as this thing.

They're actually a**l beads.

(laughter)

It would be funny to give Jess a flower

and Raph a**l beads.

(laughter)

- Okay, I guess basketball.

(buzzer buzzes)

There's no way that...

Yeah.

- [Rekha] Okay, now it goes to Jess.

- [Raphael] Jess!

- Dice ba*ls.

- It looked like bush?

- [Rekha] Dice bush, basket bush!

Something apple?

Does it have to do with apples?

- Tiny ba*ls.

- Ten ba*ls?

(buzzes)

- Okay.

Candy bars.

No, candy ba*ls.

Wonder ba*ls, so close.

- Cookie ba*ls?

- [Raph] Cookies wafers.

All right.

(laughs)

- Cake ba*ls.

- [Rekha] Cake truffles

- [Jess] I think cake ba*ls.

- Is that right?

- That's why it was Rekha's thing.

(laughs)

I can't believe.

I said it Raph.

You're welcome.

- [Raph] Oh Jess.

- Okay.

Salt lamp.

(cheering)

- Such good energy in this house.

All right.

Kate has a lava lamp of a devil

that she won't let us get rid of.

So I'm going to sneakily
replace it with this.

- She won't even notice.

- Oh, she will and she'll yell at me.

There we go.

I might leave it with my face on it too.

Look at that.

- It's better.

- Time for me again.

Cake ba*ls.

- Massage something.

- Massage lull.

- Mahershala Ali

- Mahershala Ali.

Oh my God (indistinct)

- Two words.

First word is correct.

Massage neck.

Neck massage?

- Leg.

- Massage logo.

- Massagiller?

- Probably got you a massage logo.

(buzzes)

- [Rekha] There we go.

- I have no idea.

- [Rekha] Massage--

- Massage salon.

(buzzes)

(laughs)

- I think you have to guess Mahershala Ali

just so that we know.

(laughs)

- Wait a minute there's
a knock on the door.

(laughs)

- Pillow?

(buzzes)

- [Rekha] No, it's not.

Okay.

- [Raph] Massage.

- Rekha's like trying
to go into your laptop.

- [Raph] Massage.

Sulk.

- Oh my God.

- Ga.

Ga?

- Ga.

Ga.

- Ga?

- Massage g*n.

- A massage g*n?

(clapping)

- What the hell you're
a proud g*n owner now.

- A massage g*n.

Wow.

- I can't believe Raph and I

both won vibrators on this show.

(laughing)

- Yes this is the annihilator, it's gonna

f*cking blow my body up.

- It's gonna be like a jack hammer.

- [Rekha] Hell yeah.

Right on it.

Right on the little top of it.

There you go.

- Oh wow.

- [Rekha] That is the part
that goes into my vag*na.

(laughs)

You have one and you like it.

- Maybe it's good enough for Sam's vag*na.

(laughing)

- Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

- [Rekha] Oh my God.

- Last one is blanket.

Last word blanket.

Oh yeah.

A weighted blanket.

(laughing)

- That's a good prize.

- Damn I'm jealous.

(clapping)

- Beat it up, beat it up.

Yes.

Oh, that's crazy heavy right?

- Raph is weak.

You shouldn't be able to
get presents you can't lift.

(laughs)

- It's Jess.

I wanna win something good.

All I got is a potted plant.

- And you got salt lamp.

- Oh and the salt lamp.

- They ring five--

- I saw three something.

- The ring three, first one is three?

- Three thousand?

- Andre 3000.

- Andre 3000?

Oh my God.

- So many men are coming to my house.

- Chives?

Three chives,

- Three lives.

- Three --

- Three knives.

(shouting in joy)

- Wow.

- [Raph] Oh wow.

- [Jess] Holy sh*t.

- [Raph] Oh my God Jess.

- [Jess] Oh my God.

- Kait I just won some a*s knives.

- [Rekha] Okay.

- [Raphael] Rekha.

- Bachelorette?

- Yeah, that's what I heard too.

- (mumbles) I heard.

- Bachelor.

- Badger lite.

- Bachelor.

- Match.

- Patch.

- Sachlet.

- Patch.

- Mattress.

- Match.

- Matcha.

- Matcha latte.

(laughs)

- Mahershala Ali.

(laughs)

- March madness.

(laughs)

- [Jess] Okay now it's Raph's turn.

- Okay.

- Oh I know what it is.

- What is it?

- But I want it.

(laughs)

- Well we won't guess it 'cause
you haven't gotten anything

What is it?

- Actually it's something
that I already have,

so maybe I will just give it to Raph.

It's Masterclass.

- Oh, a Masterclass?

- Oooh.

- So Raph I've got my eyes f*cking on you.

If you not help me win something nice

I'll destroy you.

- [Raph] Yes.

- Hey Raph remember where you came from.

- Okay.

I'll remember.

- [Rekha] Jess.

- I'm ready.

- I know what it is.

- What is it?

- It's Apple AirPods.

- Oh, those would be wasted on me

so I'm gonna let Rekha get it.

- It's very nice.

I don't really have
needs for those either,

but I'll guess, Apple AirPods.

- What the hell.

Who doesn't want AirPods.

- We can all give each other
whatever someone doesn't want.

- Yo!

- I like wires.

- That's an incredible gift.

Yeah that's Rekha.

- I'll take it sure.

But I'll trade it with Raph if he wants.

I'll trade it with whoever.

I think we can have a commune system.

(laughs)

Take what you need.

Leave what you have.

- [Jess] Rekha guessed
it so she should have it.

- Sam loves it, we're going
to trade it like a commune

and we're going to open her own co-op.

(laughs)

And it's gonna become a sex cult.

With my massage g*n.

(laughs)

- [Jess] Raph.

- [Jess] I know what it is.

- Espresso machine.

Espresso machine.

- Wait do you wanna trade
Airpods for espresso machine

cause you don't drink coffee.

- Yeah.

'Cause the espresso
will literally k*ll me.

(laughs)

- I'll take it.

- Rekha's espresso and Raph is--

- is AirPod.

- An espresso machine that's decadent.

- That is decadent.

(screaming in excitement)

- Wow look at your head.

That's gonna be you dunking
your head in coffee.

- I'm gonna be dunking
my whole head in there.

- Wow look at that.

- We're gonna have a big f*cking party.

Jess you're catering.

I'm making the coffee.

- I'll bring my potted
plant and salt lamp.

- And Raph you are
going to do silent rave.

(laughing)

- Oh, here we go.

- Oh I know what it is.

- Southwest bisbo?

- It's San Luis Obisbo.

- Oh San Aliza Obisbo?

- San Luis.

San Luis Obisbo.

- San Luis Obisbo.

- I'm f*cking crushing all
the ones that are not mine.

- A stay in San Luis...

Aah nice.

- Oooh oh hell yeah.

(laughs)

- I f*cking got you Sam.

You better be a good one on the next one

so that I can actually win for myself.

- Thank you, Rekha.

I didn't even know how to pronounce it.

- [Raph] Rekha.

- Something for everyone.

- Yeah something for everyone.

- [Rekha and Jess] 24.000
dollars for everyone.

(laughing)

- Nintendo Switches for everyone.

- Oh my God.

- That's crazy.

- That is a good gift.

No way.

- Wow.

Oh my God.

How'd you get them.

- Is Rekha crying?

- No.

- [Jess] Wow.

- Okay now we can really
have a party for real.

- The whole g*ng's there.

I do not have any video
game system whatsoever.

- Yeah, me neither.

So this would be a lot of fun.

- Oh yay.

- Is my mic working now?

- Yes Sam, it's working.

- That does it for us
here at Game Changer.

I am your host Sam Riech
and reminding you that

I don't have any fun
when I do the talking.

Good night.

(applauding)

(all laughing)

- Hello everybody.

It's been a couple weeks,
days since Game Changers.

I got all my prizes so
I'm gonna show em off.

Here we go.

Cut this bad boy.

Would you look at that.

On the floor.

- Hello.

I'm so excited to show
you this espresso machine.

Here it is.

She's gorgeous.

I love her.

I did just make some matcha

which is one of my
favorite drinks on earth.

Ooh baby.

- Messi, Messi, Messi!