04x10 - Glitter Gulch

[bunniefuu]

-[Garfield snores]

-[alarm clock]

[theme song]

[narrator]
Nermal is still directing

his western movie


and things are getting dangerous

in these parts.


Miss Arlene

is trapped in a stagecoach.


The stage has been sabotaged


by men working

for the baddest of bad guys,


Dr. Whipple.


How will our heroes


get out of this alive?

How should I know.


I'm a living narrator.


Yes, I know you've been on

The Garfield Show a few times

but we're doing a western here.

There's no place in it

for Sloth People.

Wait !
This movie does need something.
Maybe it needs Sloth People.

Okay,

I'll find a place for you !

[all] Yes!
And I'll get you guys into the movie.
[ninjas] Yeeha!
And me, me, me?
Yes, you, you, you, you, you.

Garfield, get ready for

the runaway stagecoach scene.


That's what I wanted

to talk to you about.


I'm the star of this movie.

Why am I doing my own stunts?


Because baby we want realism.

Because we want authenticity.


And because I hired the Ninjas,

I can't afford stunt cats.


Well, how about

instead of me risking my life,

we do it in CGI?

Do you know how phony

CGI always looks?

Yeah, you're right. Okay.

[Squeak]

All right, quiet on the set!


That means you too, Ninjas !

Okay, remember!

You're about to be run over

by a runaway stagecoach!


Nermal, what's my motivation

in this scene?


It's to not be run over

by a runaway stagecoach!

Got it!
Perfect.
Alright, action!

[Arlene]

Garfield! Save me!

Quick! Odie!

We'll head her off

by taking a shortcut!


[Arlene]

Garfield!


-[Odie mutters]

-Of course, there's a shortcut.

This is a western movie isn't it?
There's a shortcut to everything!

Fortunately, I always carry

a map of shortcuts.

[worried moans]

We have to turn

on Buttram Boulevard!


I need to ask someone

where it is!

[worried screams]

Excuse me! Do you know where

Buttram Boulevard is?

[moans]
Thanks!
[barking]

Hi, Arlene!

Going on a trip?

[shriek]
That sounds like fun!
Garfield! Save me!
[warrior cries]
Hey guys! Look!
[shrieks of terror]
Do you see the stagecoach ?
Yeah!

All right, Odie.

I'm the hero of this movie.


That means I have to do at least

one really, really stupid thing

and this is it!
I wrote this.

-Here it goes!

-Here it goes.

[Tarzan yell]
[barking]
Yes!
So, uh, what do I do now?

Why don't you try

unhooking the horses?

I would have thought of that!
Eventually...
[screams]
Okay...
Unhooking the horses.
[screams]
[mutters]
[screams]

What do you think is going

to happen to that stagecoach?

I'm just glad I'm not pulling it.
Woohoo!

Garfield!

How do we stop this thing?


No problem, Miss Arlene!

With the horses disconnected,


it will just come

to a natural stop on its own...


...unless, of course,

we come to a very steep

downhill section of road.

♪Our heroes are truly

In trouble indeed♪


♪They're trapped in a wagon♪


♪That's picking up speed♪


♪Whatever they do

It continues to roll♪


♪The stagecoach is utterly out of control♪


♪The odds are not good

That the two will survive♪


♪Especially since

There is no one to drive♪


♪It looks like they're gonna

Wind up in a hole♪


♪The stagecoach

Is totally out of control♪


♪Destruction is looming

Wherever they turn♪


♪So there is a lesson

You all oughta learn♪


♪If living a long life's♪


♪A principal goal♪


♪Don’t ride in a coach

That is out of control♪

Oh, great!

We're doomed and some rat

is singing songs about it.

Garfield! Up ahead!
What's that sign say?
I'm afraid it said "Bridge Out."
Arlene...I want you to know.

That other woman

meant nothing to me.


Although she did say

she'd make me cannelloni...

[gasps]
[screams]
Ouch!

It wasn't supposed

to end like this... I think.

Where's my script?

Mustache mob...scene in

Vito's...ninjas. Here it is.


"The stagecoach

crashes into the canyon

and splinters into a million pieces."
Oh no.

"Angle on a tree

near the edge of the cliff.

We see Garfield and Arlene

clinging to

an overhanging branch,

having grabbed it just in time!"
[sighs]
Thank you, Garfield.

I'd do anything for you,

Miss Arlene.

Would you eat health food?

I said,

would you eat health food?

I'm thinking it over!
[giggle]
We're sorry, Doc.
We tried to get rid of that deputy...
But someone messed up.
It doesn't matter.

I can use that incident

with the stagecoach

to get the sheriff fired.
Just watch me.
[happy barking]
Good to see you too, boy.

Anything happen in town

while we were away?

[muttering]
What's he saying?

There's some sort of protest rally

in the town square.


...and I say to you

good people of this town.

When a runaway stagecoach
threatened our citizens,

did Sheriff Jon Arbuckle

come to our aid?


-No...

-No.


And has he succeeded

in capturing

the nefarious Mustache Mob?
[all] No...
He's had plenty of time to.
He's been sheriff since let's see
just before noon.
[all] Oh...

The Mustache Mob

is a menace to our town!


And if Sheriff Jon

can't catch them,

we need a new sheriff!

And get rid of his deputies

while we're at it!

People! I know I'm new on the job but --

Have you caught

the Mustache Mob yet?

Well no, but if you'll just let me

Did you stop

the runaway stagecoach?


Well no,

I didn't but my deputy --


Have you done anything

about the rising prices


-of candy bars?

-What?


He's right! Candy bars

keep costing more and more!


The price of hats

is going up, too!


My pizzeria was half destroyed

by a brawl!

Can I be the new sheriff?
If you'll just let me finish, I'm new
I'm doing my best!
Odie...

I think you and I just got out

of the deputy business.

[sad moan]
Sorry I have to do this, Arbuckle

but the townspeople

are demanding it.


[sigh]

I understand, Mayor.

Here's my badge,

Garfield's badge

and Odie's badge.

If the rest of you don't mind,

I think I'd like to be alone

for a while.

[Odie cries]

Here's your badge,

Sheriff Clyde.

Here's yours, Deputy Zeke.
And yours, Deputy Luke.

I leave the sheriff's office

in your hands.

Excuse me, Mayor,

but wasn't there something else

you were supposed to do?


Something about

the contents of a safe?

This is so sad.

You think this is sad?

Wait to hear Jon's big solo.


♪Sleeping out on the plains♪


♪Singing western song refrains♪


♪Life out here is well met♪


♪Still I have♪


♪This one regret♪


♪I always wanted♪


♪A star on my chest♪


♪Wanted to uphold

The law of the west♪

[yodel]

♪Cowboy life has always been my dream♪


♪My horse and I

Would be an awesome team♪


♪Cowboy life has always been my dream♪


♪To teach the bad guys

Law must be supreme♪

[cry]

♪Cowboy life has always been my dream♪

So the combination is --.
That's right.
Just remember that

and remember

not to give that map to anyone.


Oh, we would never let anyone

have the map to Glitter Gulch.


-Would we, guys?

-Not a chance.

Alright, good night, guys.
[the boys] Good night, Mr. Mayor.

We've got it. We've got the map

to the city of gold!

I've got the map to the city of gold!
We leave first thing in the morning.
And by nightfall,

I'm fixing to be the richest

man in the world!


...and cut! Great job, guys!

We'll break for lunch.

Lunch?
First good idea you've had today.
You gonna get something?

Not right now.

I've had an idea.

A brilliant idea.
An idea so great

I don't know why it didn't occur

to me pages ago.

I know what this movie needs.
The thing every movie needs!

The thing that is guaranteed

to make this movie

the biggest hit ever!
Really? What does it need?
It needs...me!

[narrator]
So Jon's been fired as sheriff,

which means


that sheriff Garfield and Odie

have been fired too.


Dr. Whipple,

you can boo him later,


has the map to Glitter Gulch,


an entire canyon of gold they say.


Can anyone stop this snake


from becoming

the richest man in the world ?


If someone's going to,


they'd better soon,


because this is the last chapter.

If you'd just let me talk to him
about being in the movie...

I'm sorry. He's on the phone

to the head of the studio...


Not to worry. I've just made

an addition to the cast...


the biggest, most wonderful

star in the world.


Can you guess who it is?

No, not him.


No, not him either.

One more guess.

Wrong again. It's me.
[the boss is laughing]
I can wait.

Laugh all you want.

Doesn't bother me. Here.


Hang this up when he stops

laughing or gets replaced.


Whichever occurs first.

I'll slate the scene.


Scene whatever number this is.

Take one.


Okay.

I've gotta get into costume.


♪Come the next morning

Dr. Whipple was ready♪


♪They had the map now

To give them directions♪


♪This was the day

They would go for the gold♪

Why do we need the extra wagons?

Because we're going

to bring back a lot of gold.

[western music]

-What are those men up to?

-I don't know.


I'm going out

to look for a job, guys.

We'll see if there are openings

for a guy who was sheriff

for half of yesterday.

Dr. Whipple is up to something
and it reminds me of Jon's cooking.

It really smells.

[gasp]

Huh ?

[gasp]

You?

May I come in?
Why aren't you with Dr. Whipple?

That's right. I figured out

you were working for him.


Not anymore. When I did,

I overheard his entire plan.

I need to tell you about it.
Mmmh...

When I saw what he did

to poor Sheriff Jon,

I just had to tell you.
It was all a plot to get his hands
on that map to Glitter Gulch...
Jon needs to know this.
Right
[gasp]
Those three guys?

They're the Mustache Mob

without their mustaches?


If I could expose this plan,

I could capture them, too.


The only trouble is

we don't know where Glitter Gulch is.

I do.

Rufus!

How could you know where it is?

On account of I'm the guy

who found it

fifty-seven years ago.

Rufus, this is very important.
Can you lead us to Glitter Gulch?
Sure. But I won't go in.

The place is lousy with lizards.

And I just hate lizards.


[both]

Huh ?

I'll get my gear and we'll go.
[Miss Kittie Litter gasps]
[Jon laughs]

Nermal!

What are you doing here?


You're supposed

to be over there directing.


When Jon was singing about

how he wanted to be a cowboy.

I got to thinking about

how I always wanted

to be a movie star.

Can you ride a horse?

No. But we're not going

to ride horses!

[whistle]

We'll go to Glitter Gulch

in luxury.

Nermal...

There were no stretch

limousines in the old west.

So? There were no zombies,
ninjas or talking cats, either.
You've got a point.

[narrator] ♪
Out on the desert

Dr. Whipple was busy♪


♪Reading directions

He found on the map♪

It says here we look for a lake
and make a U-turn...

[narrator rat] ♪
While in the limo

A meal was catered♪


♪Our heroes travelled in luxury's lap♪


The box lunches

were a nice touch, Nermal.

Hey, don't thank me.
The studio's paying for all this.

A half mile ahead,

turn left at the big rock.

And remember!

When we get there,

I'm waiting outside in the car.


There's too many lizards

in there.


I don't think Dr. Whipple's

going to let a few lizards


keep him from billions

of dollars worth of gold.


[narrator rat]

Soon, Dr. Whipple was near to the finish.


Soon, they'd arrived

where the map said to go.


Was there a valley of gold

past the mountains?


That was the thing

they all wanted to know.


Let's see, the map says

to squeeze through that opening.

[evil laughter]
If I could just get through here.
[groaning]
It's true, it's true!

Gold everywhere

just like the legend said!

Gold everywhere and it's all mine!
[Jon] Well, maybe not!

They won't let you

keep that gold in prison.

No one's going to arrest us.
Remember, he's the sheriff now.

[Luke and Zeke]

And we're his deputies.


Once the Mayor finds out

they're the Mustache Mob


and they've been doing

all those robberies,

and that they work for you...

The mayor

will find someone to arrest you.

Badges or no badges...
We don't need no stinking badges!

-We're taking you in.

-No, you're not.

Men ?
[screams]

-Are those things loaded?

-Looks that way!


We should have figured

they'd be packing custard.


You're not coming

between me and all this gold!

[roaring]
What's that?
I can't believe it!
[all] Dinosaurs!
So that's what he meant by lizards.
[yelling]
This is awesome!

This is just

what my western movie needed,


dinosaurs!

Why didn't I think of --

Huh?
I may regret this but--

Nermal! Didn't you know

there were going to be

dinosaurs in your movie?

-Well, I --

-I thought you wrote this movie.


I paid someone else

to write it for me!


A guy who writes

cheap science-fiction movies!

[shriek]
I gave him three hundred dollars!
Forget about the gold, Whipple!

Yeah!

Let's just get outta here!

Forget about the gold?
Never!

-[scream]

-[roar]

[roar]
[gasp]
[roar]
[shriek]
[roar]
[nervous laughter]
[meow]
[roar]
[roar]
[shriek]
Help!
I can't fit through!
You'll have to drop the nuggets!
All right, all right...

See?

That's why I don't like lizards.

That's the last time I pay

three hundred dollars

for a screenplay.

After that, we give up.

Yeah, we'd like to surrender,

Sheriff.

I'm not the Sheriff.
You will be. Again.

And I think we're back

in the deputy business.

[happy bark]

♪So the big lizards

Remained in their canyon♪


♪They just remained there

And guarded the gold♪


♪None of the folks there

Would speak of what happened♪


♪There's some stories

That shouldn't be told♪


♪Old Dr. Whipple

And his three assistants♪


♪Would have to serve out

A decade or two♪


♪Jon got his job back

And got to be Sheriff♪


♪Maybe his dream would now

Finally come true♪

Nice singing there, partner.
Thank you very much.

We'll see you

on the CD of the soundtrack.


Well, it looks like you two

got to be friends.


Why shouldn't we be?

We have something in common.

We both admire you very much.

And we agree you two

will make a wonderful couple.

So, what do you think, boss?

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Straight to DVD?

Oh, we'll k*ll overseas. What?
What's he saying?

He thinks it still needs

a bigger finish.

Bigger than dinosaurs?
Well, whatever you say, boss.
You know, the one thing left

that would make me happy,

Garfield,

would be for you to eat healthier.
Will you do that for me?
Yes. From now on,

I will subsist on small portions

of tofu and trail mix.

Remember : this is a movie.
I didn't promise that in real life.
Which reminds me,
Is this movie about over?

Not yet. The studio thinks

it needs a bigger finish.

Could I have my zombie, please?

And my ninjas?

Ninjas, you're on!

[warrior cries]

And Sloth People!


Sloth People to the set!


And me!

I want to be in it, too!

And don't forget me!

Let's have the dinosaurs

take a bow.

[roar]
[hubbub]

You know, there are times when

I really love show business.

This is not one of those times.

[narrator rat]
♪Everyone's happy

At least it would seem♪


♪Jon's back as sheriff

Just like in his dream♪


♪Things will be peaceful here

Day after day♪


♪Now that Dr. Whipple

Has been locked away♪


♪So has the secret

Of Glitter Gulch gold♪


♪It may not ever be told♪


Looks like we have

a happy ending!


For everyone

except the bad guys.

Cool.

♪Arlene and Garfield

Are happy, I can tell♪


♪Especially if she can make

Lasagna real well♪


♪Let us all celebrate

Their western-type romance♪


♪This would be a good time

To do our cowboy dance♪

Yeeha!
[laughters]
[screams]
Yeeha!
[mutters]