03x03 - Bye Bye Bea Bea/Glass Man Standing

[bunniefuu]

[WATER BUBBLING]

One, two, three, four

Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight

Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, 11, 12

Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins, flip your tail

School's out, ring the bell!

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

One, two, three, four

Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight

Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, 11, 12

Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins, flip your tail

School's out, ring the bell!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Ooh!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Whoa-oh-oh
What can I say?

I'm just a hometown girl

Whoa-oh-oh, dancing my way
Down the streets I know

Just feeling the flow

The fake plastic trees are all that I need
To bring a smile to my face

Oh, oh, oh, I love to live in this place

Freshwater is my hometown

The place I always want to be

Freshwater is my hometown
The place for me

[CHUCKLES] Hey, family!
[SINGSONG] I'm home!

Oh, honey, your father has big news!

We're moving.

-BOTH: No!
-Yes!

-BOTH: No!
Yes!

-No!
-No!

[SOBS] Yes!

ALL: [SOBS] No!

It's real, guys.

Dad got a new job in Fish Phoenix,
and we move in two days.

-But Fish Phoenix is a million miles away!
-And all your friends are here!

I know! I really don't wanna move.
But nothing I say can change their minds!

There's got to be something we can do.
Okay, okay, okay.

What if we hit your parents on the head
and give them amnesia?

Or maybe you could marry me?

They can't separate
a husband and wife, right?

I mean, uh, who said that?

[SIGHS] I just wish there was a way
Dad could get a better job here.

And then we wouldn't have to move.

Oh! Oh! I got it! I got it!
Your dad can work for us! At our company!

Oh, yeah! That's a great idea!

Yeah! Wait, what?
You guys don't have a company.

Well...

We never told anyone this before,
but when we were kids...

We used to play "Office."

Remember, Oskey?
I was the mean old bossman,

and you were my hot to trot secretary!

[CHUCKLES] Do I ever remember!

[CHUCKLES] Here's that memo
you requested, Mr. Fishtooth!

Tut-tut-tut. Thank you,
Mrs. Wiggins. Nice shoes.

[SIGHS]

[BOTH LAUGH]

-Good times! Good times!
-I did like that!

-Okay, I'm lost.
-No, no, no! It's perfect!

We'll use what we know
from our fake experience

to re-open our fake office
and hire your daddy!

Okay, well, that's a plan,
I don't know if it's the plan.

But I don't really have a better one,
and I really don't wanna move.

So, let's just go with it for now,

until we think of something
that's not as dumb.

Grab that wig and pencil skirt,
Mrs. Wiggins!

We've got a fake office to run.

All right. Here's the deal, guys.

Jumbo found a bunch of boxes
behind the Burger Bunny dumpster,

so, that's what we are, a box factory.
Any questions?

Uh, yeah. This isn't gonna work.

It has to work!
Bea can't move away! [WHIMPERS]

If everyone just does exactly
what I told them,

my dad will totally believe
he's got a real job here!

Speaking of real, how about getting me
some real coffee, Mrs. Wiggins?

Just like old times!

-La, la, la, la. Job interview time!
-[GASPS] Here he comes!

Places, everyone.

[BEA GRUNTS]

Welly, howdy-doody, miss?

Say, you look
just like my daughter's friend.

No, I don't.

Yeah, no!
The resemblance is uncanny!

I said, no.

-Oh, gosh! He knows!
-Oscar, do something!

Oh, there you are, Mr. Goldfishberg!

Mr. Fishtooth will see you now!
Thank you, Carol!

And it's time for my fake break.

Please, please, please let this work!

-La, la, la. I'm a hot to trot secretary.
-Here come the boss! Here come the boss!

-Mr. Fishtooth, meet Mr. Goldfishberg.
-I like the cut of your jib! You're hired!

Whoa! Slow down there!
If I'm gonna work here,

you gotta at least tell me
what kind of job this is.

-I mean, what do you sell?
-Uh...

Well, you tell me.
What do you think we sell here?

Oh, I see some boxes.

Give this man a job, he's got good eyes.
We sell boxes.

Mrs. Wiggins,
why don't you show Mr. Goldfishberg

everything that we have here...

at a real company, which is real,
and not fake.

Okay. So far, so good.

This would be your cubicle.

An office with a view! How lucky am I?

[CHUCKLES] Mr. Goldfishberg,
you're such a card!

Now here's a list of our clients.

Just call them up
and sell them some boxes. [LAUGHS]

[PHONE KEYPAD BEEPS]

[PHONE RINGS, VIBRATES]

-Oh, that must be Bea's dad!
-[PHONE KEYPAD BEEPS]

-Uh, hello, this is Fin Corp.
-Hello, sir! I'm calling today

to see if you're interested
in purchasing some boxes.

Yes! I would like to buy one box, please.

-Okay, I love you. Bye.
-[PHONE KEYPAD BEEPS]

Oh, why did I say that?

Oh, boy! Mr. Fishtooth,
I made my first sale!

Stupendous!
Mrs. Wiggins, the man made a sale!

[CHUCKLES, CHEERS]

-[PHONE KEYPAD BEEPS]
-[PHONE RINGS]

This is Clamantha.
How many boxes you want?

No, Clamantha, you're buying the boxes.

Huh, but I don't...
What do I need a box for?

-Just say you're buying a box!
-Come on, they're counting on us!

-No, I don't want any!
-FINBERLY: Oh, my gosh!

You always do this, Clamantha.
You always ruin everything!

All right! All right! I'll have a box.

-What? Sold another one!
-Girl, you on fire!

-Oh, my!
-[CRASHES]

Whoa, what? [CHUCKLES]

Wow. This is so much fun!

You got a beautiful factory here.
Glad to be part of the team.

Okay, great! We got through the whole day
without my dad figuring it out

and now we just need to...

Say, would you like to join my family
for dinner tonight?

-BEA: What? No!
-Why, yes, I would.

Great! See you then. Do-do-do.

-Milo! Why'd you say yes to dinner?
-Because I was hungry.

-Okay, so now we need to get...
-Hey, what's going on here?

Whoa! [GROANS] Hi!

I think if we can get through dinner,
and keep doing this, until I graduate,

then everything should be fine!

[MILO CHOMPS]

Mm-mm-mm.
What did you say this dish was called?

Spaghetti and meatballs!

Oh, spaghetti and meat...
You know, they have this

at some of the rich bossman restaurants
that I go to.

Now if you beg your pardon...
[SLURPS]

-[SIGHS]
-All right! It looks like we're done here.

So, Mr. Fishtooth, you can leave!

Now, hold on there a minute.

I didn't invite you here just to show off
my wife's terrible cooking.

-[GRUMBLES]
-I have an announcement to make.

Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da!

I landed the company a contract
for a thousand boxes!

Oh, that's great, Dad...
You did what?

Yep, I called some old friends,
worked my magic, and viola!

He's coming by the factory tomorrow
to pick up the order.

Oh, Norman!

Uh, excuse me, I'm not feeling well.

[WHIMPERS] Me, too.

Pardon me.

So, now we have to make a thousand boxes?
How are we going to make a thousand boxes?

Oh, I am so done for! I'm moving for sure.

Get it together, girl!
We can't quit now!

-But, Milo, this isn't a real factory!
-No, but we're your real friends.

And we'll stay up all night making boxes
if we have to. Right, guys?

-Right!
-You betcha.

Imma making box-boxes
Making boxes all the day

I'm making box-boxes
Till my hair turns gray

When the day turns to night
I still got boxes to make

So I fold 'em and I tape 'em
Think my back is gonna break

I've been making box-boxes
Since the day I was born

I've been making box-boxes
Till the light of dawn

Ooh, I'm tired!

-[SIGHS] How many boxes did we make?
-We actually made no boxes.

In fact, the ones we had when we started,
are broken now.

Who knew boxes would be so complicated?

That's it, then.
I guess it's time to say goodbye.

-FINBERLY: Oh, no, Bea!
-This is so sad!

-Don't go, Bea!
-I won't let this happen!

You guys have done so much for me.
I mean, you failed, but you really tried.

I'll never find friends like you
in Fish Phoenix.

How am I gonna tell my dad
this is all fake?

NORMAN: Bea!

-Dad?
-Well I heard everything, missy.

So, I guess you're pretty mad at me, huh?

Well, you'd really think that.
But you made me realize something.

I'm a big, stupid jerk.
How can I make you move away

from friends who would do all this
just to keep you here?

-It just wouldn't be right.
-So, are you saying we don't have to move?

Well, sweetiekins, I don't know.

But, if I'm gonna show my face
around this town,

-we gotta fill that box order.
-But how Mr. Goldfishberg?

We tried making boxes. It's really hard.

No, it's not. You just don't know anything
because you're kids.

You need someone to manage you,
and I'm just the fish for the job.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

-We did it! One thousand boxes!
-[WATCH BEEPS]

-And just in time! Look!
-[CAR APPROACHING]

Konnichiwa, Mr. Goldfishberg.

Bea, this is my old friend, Mr. K,
the box turtle.

Yes, but as you see,
though I'm a box turtle,

I was born with no box,
and this has brought me great shame.

Well, try this on for size.

Oh, this box is very fine indeed.

Now, I may bring boxes
to all the other turtles like me,

and restore their honor.
Please, take this money.

And I would like to order
one thousand more boxes for next week.

Arigatou gozaimasu.

Wow, Dad, another thousand boxes?
You're like this amazing salesman.

Well, before I found out it was fake,

this box-selling job
was the best job I ever had.

And with all the money coming in,
I can open a real box factory,

-right here in Freshwater!
-I'm not moving!

[ALL CHEER]

Yeah, and all of you are fired.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-I play the mighty Dimetrodon!
-[GROWLS]

-Go, triceratops!
-[GROANS]

-ALBERT: Iguanadon!
-ESMARGOT: Ankylosaurus!

This is nice, you and me,
playing cards together.

-It's pretty swell.
-I was wondering though,

if... if you'd like to go on a real date.
You know, without the rest of our friends.

Oh, Albert! [CHUCKLES]

MAN ON TV: Last time
on The Beached Whales of Orange County.

-[MOANS]
-[MOANS]

I still think the first season
was way better.

Hey, is anyone hungry?
We're about to order pizza!

-Yay! Pizza!
-Pizza, I want!

Ooh, I'll make the call.

Wait, Esmargot, I'm the man,
and in order to be polite,

it's the man's job to order the pizza
for the lady. Right, men?

-ALL: h*!
-[RINGS]

Hello, Jocktopizza!

Hello, I'd like to place an order
for a very special lady.

What would like to order, ma'am?

-Uh, excuse me?
-Ma'am, what would you like?

Uh, sir, I'm not a girl, I'm a boy.

I'm sorry, ma'am,
I'm having trouble hearing you.

-I said, I'm a boy.
-What?

I'm not a girl, I'm a boy!

-Ouch.
-Ouch.

Oh, I thought I was talking
to a little girl.

Uh, why don't you take the phone
to your mommy, so she can order the pizza?

JOCKTOPAPA:
Hello, anyone there?

[PHONE BEEPS]

Um, that was pretty devastating.

If you guys will excuse me,
I'm gonna just not be here.

[DOOR OPENS, SHUTS]

[WHIMPERS]

-[GRUNTS]
-SPACE BEING: Albert Glass!

We come from the mad planet, Madet,

where dudes hang out
and do manly things together,

like watch sports and talk with our abs.

We were hoping,
maybe you could come with us and hang.

At last, my time has come!
Make me the man I know I am!

Oh, gosh! His voice!
Oh, we made a horrible mistake.

You are not ready. Sorry, bye!
Do not tell Fred we talked to him.

-Fred won't care.
-Oh, Fred will care, I know him.

He gets upset about these things.

Wait, I'll change! I promise I'll change.
I'm a man! I'm a man!

[ALARM RINGS]

[TAP SQUEAKS]

[GASPS]

[IN HEAVY VOICE] Well, that's new.

My voice! [CHUCKLES] It changed!

It finally changed! I'm a man!

[BELL RINGING]

Here it is, fellas!
The new HeadBox Extreme Z game system!

-Seeing this should cheer Albert right up!
-Yeah, he seemed really bummed last night.

Oh, not to worry, men.
I believe, I've made a full recovery.

-Albert?
-Albert?

-Good morning, gentlemen.
-Oh, my gosh! Your voice!

Yes, it does have a more masculine tone.

-Congratulations!
-Hey, guys.

-Hello.
-[ALL GASP]

Hey, Esmargot!
I picked this on the way to school!

Albert!
[STAMMERS] Your voice.

-Do you like it?
-[STUTTERS] Yeah.

So, do you still wanna have dinner
tomorrow night?

-Uh-huh.
-Well, then,

-I'll be by to pick you up at eight.
-Okay.

[SINGING] I got a date! I got a date!
I got a date and my voice sounds great!

Just when I thought the hottest boy
in school couldn't be any more attractive!

[GASPS] Oh, my gosh!
I didn't slime too much, did I?

So, yeah.
I had a physical this morning.

I got a crusty bunion
I'm a little worried about.

So, uh, for a little extra credit,

who can tell me which is better?
Benign or malignant?

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

-Yello? Yeah? All right.
-[SQUEAKING THROUGH PHONE]

Milo, Oscar, Jumbo, you guys are excused.
Your dad is here to pick you up.

Uh, Mr. Baldwin, they don't have a dad!

MR. BALDWIN: That's not a very nice thing
to say, Bea.

That was weird. Why would someone call
and pretend to be our dad?

-Albert, it was you!
-Come on, guys, let's blow this pop stand.

-Where are we going?
-Anywhere we want.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

-[SIREN WAILS]
-I'm sorry, officer,

I know I shouldn't have been speeding,

but I was taking my children
to the hospital.

I... I'm such a sick children.
[COUGHS]

There, there.

I like your badge there.
Looks sporty, shiny.

Well, with a manly voice like that,
you couldn't have done nothing wrong.

I'll let you go with a warning.

[ALL LAUGH HYSTERICALLY]

Okay, okay, okay! Okay, I got one.
Say "kumquat!"

Kumquat.

Wait, you guys. Check it out!

You heard me right, people!
Our final item of the hour is,

the all new HeadBox Extreme Z
game system!

But that's not all!

For the first person who calls,
we're giving one away absolutely free!

-[ALL GASP]
-[PHONES RING]

The phones are lighting up!
Who will our lucky caller be?

Hello! You win! Congratulations!

How does it feel to be a winner?

ALBERT: [IN MAN'S VOICE] I'd say it feels
pretty fantastic, Mr. Salmons.

Oh, what a melodious,
manly voice you have!

Not girly at all!

Why, thank you!
I am a high school student.

-Yay, Albert!
-Yay, Albert!

Ah, what a perfect day!
Nothing could possibly go wrong tomorrow!

SPACE BEING:
Albert Glass.

We were playing macho ball
on the planet Madet,

when we heard your manly voice
across the cosmos.

Now, you are ready to come join us
and do dude things together,

like bow hunting!

Yeah. Uh, I can't.

You see, I have a big date tomorrow
with a girl that I like.

Ooh, you got a date!
Ooh, well, that's different.

Okay, I guess you don't need us
now, that you're a man.

You don't have to hang out
with the dudes on Madet.

Well, guess what? Your voice is still
a little unstable, lady!

It's probably gonna, you know,
change back or whatever.

-So, don't get too c*ck!
-You don't have to be mean.

What would Fred say
if he heard you say that?

Guess what, Fred's not here.
I'll say what I want.

[GASPS, IN NORMAL VOICE] Oh, man,
no more snacks before bedtime...

My voice! My beautiful, manly voice!

[BELL RINGING]

[ROBOTIC VOICE] Ha, ha!
Chop! Punch! Punch! Hai-yah!

Wow, these graphics are amazing!

And it makes your voice
sound really cool, too!

Ooh, let me try!

[ROBOTIC VOICE]
Hot dog! Everything's in 3-D!

[GROANS] Ow! Milo!
Those are my eyeballs!

ALBERT:
Psst! You guys! Over here!

Albert? Why are you dressed like that?

It's horrible, you guys.
I need your help!

-[ALL GASP]
-[ROBOTIC VOICE] What happened

to your beautiful voice?

When I woke up,
my voice was like this! [SHRIEKS]

So, where is Albert taking you
for your big date tonight?

I don't know.
He said it was a surprise!

[ROBOTIC VOICE]
Uh, what am I gonna do, guys?

How am I supposed to be a man
and order pizza for my lady

with my voice sounding like this!

Well, it sounds pretty cool
with the helmet on.

But he can't wear the helmet
for the entire date.

-I mean, that's just silly!
-No, it's not.

I have the perfect solution.

[ROBOTIC VOICE] Esmargot,
you look really pretty tonight.

Oh, thank you! You...

you could've told me we were coming here,
I would've worn a cowboy hat or something.

By the way, is your throat okay?
You, you sound a little different.

-[COUGHS] I must have a frog or something.
-What?

So, what kind of toppings do you want
on your pizza?

Well, I've always liked pineapple!

But if that's weird we...
we don't have to.

-No, no, pineapple sounds great!
-[CRACKLING]

-Pineapple.
-Really?

-You like pineapple too?
-WAITRESS: Hey, y’all!

-Y'all want a drink?
-I'll have a club soda.

-And I'll have the, uh...
-[ROBOTIC VOICE] Pineapple.

Juice? Pineapple juice.

WAITRESS: Okay, y'all!

-[STUTTERS] Everything okay?
-Pineapple!

So, you wanna talk about pineapples?

Pineapple! Pineapple, pineapple,
pineapple, pineapple, pineapple.

-Pineapple, pineapple, pineapple.
-Uh, Albert?

-Pineapple, pineapple...
-Stupid thing!

-Pineapple, pineapple...
-[SCREAMS]

Albert! You okay?

Esmargot! What are you doing?
This is the boys' bathroom!

No it's not, it's the girls'!

Y'all done there?
Some of us gots to pee, you know?

Oh, man! I can never tell
which bathroom is which!

Are you okay?
You... you kinda freaked out!

I'm sorry. It's just that tonight
was supposed to be special.

It's our first real date and I just wanted
to order you a pizza with my new voice.

But I guess, I'm still not man enough!
[GRUNTS, WHINES]

Hey, y'all, nice throw.
I'm over here, by the way!

But I don't care how manly your voice is,
or all that other stuff.

-I like you because you're you!
-Really?

[SNIFFS] Yeah.

It's not the strength
of your vocal chords,

it's the kindness in your heart.

[BEATS]

You're right!
It's not the voice that makes the man,

it's the man that makes the voice!
Let's go!

[GASPS] Oh, my gosh,
you're holding my hand!

You want extra butter
on your burger, baby?

-Yes.
-ALBERT: Excuse me.

Oh, hi! How was the bathroom?

Um, it was great. I'm all better now.
Can we please place our order?

Okay, whatchu want?

We'd like a large pineapple pizza, please!

Oh, honey, this is a barbecue place.

I can give you pineapple
with pork fat on it, but that's about it.

One Jocktopapa pineapple pie
ordered specially for the lady.

Hey, your voice sounds like it's settling!
[GIGGLES] I like it!

Well, don't get too attached.
Tomorrow it could be completely different!

-Say pineapple one more time.
-Pineapple.

[LAUGHS]

Well, you know,
if he didn't want to hang with us

and come hang out, that's fine.

Because, you know what,
we don't have enough room on Madet

-for him, anyways. It's just us.
-We have a spare room.

SPACE BEING: No, we don't.
Fred's been using it. We're space...

-[CAT SNARLS]
-[SPACE BEINGS SCREAM]

[GASPS] Oh, wow, Snake! You remodeled!

Uh, there's something
you should know.

I know, I love seeing
the woodchips again.

-Hey! Can a spider get some privacy?
-What's going on here?

This spider thinks we're running a hotel.

She just barged in
and started demanding towels!

Well, it's obviously not a hotel,
so, you'll have to leave, Mrs. Spider.

You can't kick me out!
I just got comfortable!

-Sure, we can!
-No. No, we can’t.

-Why not?
-'Cause she already paid me in cookies!

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]