03x12 - Bea Saves a Tree/Freshwater Lives

[bunniefuu]

[BUBBLING]

[SINGING]
One, two, three, four

Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight

Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, 11, 12

Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins
Flip your tail

School's out, ring the bell!

La, la, la, la

La, la, la, la

La, la, la, la

La, la, la, la

One, two, three, four

Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight

Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, 11, 12

Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins
Flip your tail!

School's out, ring the bell!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[GASPS]

[SCREAMS]

MAN ON TV:
Hey, tired of being ripped off?

Call for new car insurance!

I cannot go out with you because...

-I am a vampire clam.
-Yes!

Seen it.

I'm here at a local construction site,
where a plucky young teenager

is protesting the building of
a brand-new store here in Freshwater.

You'll have to k*ll me
before you cut this tree down!

[GASPS]
Honey! Our daughter's on TV!

-[DISHES CLATTERING]
-MRS. GOLDFISHBERG: Well, I wouldn't know,

because somebody
has to do the dishes around here!

You might say that this is just a tree,

but for me,
it's a friend with a name:

Mr. Green.

This tree has been here
since I was a child.

It's a part of me and a part of this town.

In fact, I even wrote a song
about how much it means to me.

It's called "Part of Tree."

[SINGING]
This tree is a part of me

And I'll never let you cut it down
No!

This tree is a part of me

'Cause it's my tree
'Cause I'm part tree, and the tree is me

And we love each other unconditionally

This tree is...
Means more to me than...

-[BEA TRAILS OFF]
-[MUSIC STOPS]

Sir, you're head of construction.
What do you think of this situation?

What situation?

There's only one girl and 50 of us!
And we got muscles.

Are there any other ways
you can build the store

-without harming the tree?
-No!

-Bea! We're here to help!
-Bea! We're here! We're here!

Hey, guys!

Did you think I was gonna
leave you alone for this?

This is the tree
where you made me pancakes!

Yeah, I don't have any personal connection
to this tree at all.

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

Oh, come on, Oscar.
Everybody has a connection to this tree.

Well, when I was a little girl,

I would climb to the top
of this blueberry tree...

Aw! That's so nice!

...and pick only the tiniest blueberries.

Okay.

I would suck on them, I would.

-Uh-huh.
-Whoo! How they were so...

See? It deserves our protection.

And I am not leaving this spot
until this plastic tree is safe.

-Bea! We came to support you!
-MRS. GOLDFISHBERG: Bea!

Mom, Dad!

Holy moly, Bea!
The TV really does add ten pounds!

Wha-la-la-la-la!

Oh, thanks, Dad.

-Bea, we're here for you!
-We're gonna support you!

-Thank you, thank you, thank you!
-I wanna be a tree-hugger, too!

And Oscar, you're my tree.

[GROWLS]

Mr. Baldwin! Welcome!

It's a father's instinct to protect trees
for the next generation, right?

I was just on my way to get baby diapers,
but yeah!

Save a tree! Yeah!

Protest! Protest!

[ALL CHANTING] Save the tree!
Save the tree! Save the tree!

Burn the witch! Oh, sorry, wrong group.

These kids seem serious.

Do you still plan
on cutting down this tree?

You better not step away
from that tree, little lady!

Because as soon as you do,
I'm putting a store there!

I'm putting it there!
Putting it right there!

Putting it right where that tree is!

Bea, you started something special here.
How do you feel?

I feel great! Go, protestors!

-Thanks, Bea.
-You're welcome.

Hey, Shellsea! Thanks for coming
and supporting the cause.

Grab a chain and strap yourself in!

What are you doing here?

You know, saving a tree,
having an interview...

Bea! I know you think you're doing
a good thing by saving this tree,

but what you're really doing
is keeping us

from having the most amazing
shopping experience of our lives!

They're gonna put a Fishever 22 here.

But we already have Fishever 21.

Sha, but this is Fishever 22!

It is better.
Let's go there in our dreams.

Now! Hit it!

[UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]

CHORUS: [SINGING]
Shoes, bags, a cute new top

Get out of my way
'Cause this girl has gotta shop

I'ma shop this, I'ma shop that

I'ma shop all day
Never stop, yeah

Skirts, accessories, money to drop

Strap your purse on
'Cause this girl has gotta shop

I'ma shop this, I'ma shop that

I'ma shop all day
Never stop, yeah

Oh, my gosh! That fantasy was amazing!

I totally wanna go to Fishever 22!

Then get off this stupid tree!

Wait, wait, wait, Shellsea, I'm chained.

Break it off, Bea. No big deal.

No, you don't understand, Shellsea.
I'm chained to a cause.

I started this movement,

and I can't just walk away
from the people who believe in me.

Hi, Bea! I can't feel my arms.

Trees are great!

Girl, I know this tree
is, like, important,

but Steve Jackson is gonna be
a doorman there.

Shirtless.

I just... I just don't know.

-Bea...
-No, no, I can't.

-Bea! Come on!
-Oh, I don't know!

Bea, I'm gonna crack you like an egg,
I swear it!

No, I am committed to the cause!
I won't do it!

Girl, shopping experience of a lifetime,

or a plastic tree.

-Come on, which one do you really want?
-Both?

Okay, I just figured out
how you can have both.

Whisper, whisper, whisper. Whisper.

Shellsea, you are trouble.

No, girl. Just an ordinary fish
addicted to shopping.

OSCAR:
Good night, Mr. and Mrs. Goldfishberg.

MRS. GOLDFISHBERG:
Good night, Oscar and Milo.

MILO: Good night, Bea!
I said good night!

BEA:
Good night, Milo!

-[SNORING]
-[OWLS HOOT]

Okay, we're just gonna take it,
and then we're gonna go hide it

somewhere where nobody
will ever find it.

BEA: You're sure it'll be safe?

SHELLSEA: Sha, it's gonna be safe.

[CAR ENGINE STARTS]

-Fishever 22, baby!
-Oh, I hope I'm doing the right thing.

[SIGHS]

This place is so deserted,
no one will know we left that tree here.

We'll go back to the camp
before the people wake up

and let the construction begin!

And no one will suspect it's us.

Shellsea, you are double trouble.

Yeah, yeah. Bea, I need shoes.

And if that's wrong,
I don't wanna be right. Let's roll.

Goodbye, Mr. Green.

Who's ready for Fishever 22?

BOTH: Oh, this girl!

[BOTH LAUGH,
SCREAM]

[CRASH]

Mr. Green!
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!

Whoa, totally my fault.

But you got too hyped
about Fishever 22 too, Bea.

We gotta get down there and save him!

[CAT GROWLS]

[CAT HISSES]

[SCREAMS]

[ROARS]

[BOTH RETCHING]

[CAT MEOWS]

-That's disgusting.
-No.

[MUSIC PLAYS]

Ugh! Shellsea, we gotta do what's right.
We have to save the tree!

Oh, no. No. No, no, no. No, no.

No!

[BOTH SCREAM]

Hey, Bea!
I brought your morning juice!

[GASPS, SHRIEKS]

Bea! Oh, Mr. Green, he's gone!
Oh, no! He's gone!

-Hey!
-What gives?

Both Bea and Mr. Green,
they are kidnapped!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

[MEOWS]

[GROWLS]

Gotta get Mr. Green back.
[GRUNTS]

-Girl! Hey, girl, stop it!
-Bad boy! Bad kitty!

[SCREECHING]

[BOTH SCREAMING]

We did not kidnap her or the tree!

Nah-ah! You did!
I saw it with my own two eyes!

Milo, are you sure about this?

You were sleeping
right next to me all night.

Well, then who could have possibly
taken Bea and Mr. Green?

Fish Santa Claus? I don't think so!

[MEOWING AND SCREECHING]

Shellsea, do you still keep your tweezers
in your purse?

Yeah. This chick has got to stay plucked!

Take that!

-Got any lipstick?
-Sha!

-Gosh! That monster doesn't feel pain!
-I got nothing left.

[BOTH PANTING]

What now, Bea?
I'm too young and hot to die!

So crazy hot!

Shellsea!
I have an idea, but I need your headband.

What? No way!
Don't take my headband, Bea!

No! Stop it!
It's actually part of my body!

You cannot pull it.

We won't have any body parts left
if we get eaten!

Bea! No!

[SCREECHES AND MEOWS]

-Yay!
-Great! We did it!

-[BEA SCREAMS]
-SHELLSEA: Yeah, we're still alive!

[MEOWS]

What were you doing
around four in the morning?

I went to the bathroom, cupcake face.

I have a tiny bladder,
and I don't make it through the night.

No fish I know goes to the bathroom
for a wee-wee.

We just go wherever!

ALL: Ew!

What, you telling me
you guys don't do that?

Ah, come on.
You know, I can't be the only one.

Oh, that is disgusting, Milo.

[ALL GASP]

Hi, guys.

Told you I didn't kidnap her,
cupcake face.

[SAD TROMBONE]

Uh, look, guys. I have something
to set straight here.

Me and Shellsea were blinded
by Fishever 22.

They've got great shoes.

And we hid Mr. Green
so the store could be built.

-[ALL GASP]
-Traitor!

I can't believe it!

Yeah, I deserve that.
But I realize what's important.

Not Fishever 22, not Mr. Green.

It was you people who trusted in me,
and I let you all down.

I'm so sorry, everyone.

ALL: Grumble, grumble.

Listen, angry mob,

Bea here tried to save the tree
from the beginning to the end.

I'm the one who should take the blame.

But you guys have no idea
what we went through for that tree.

Look at my empty bag and no headband.

That means a lot to girls.

And no headband! Huh?

No one's ever seen me without my headband!

It's traumatic. Sorry, Bea.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Seems like you two have paid the price
for what you did.

What's important is that you're safe,
and that everything is back where it was.

-[CHEERS]
-Yay!

You guys never give up, do you?
I am sick of this.

I am pulling the plug on this crazy site.
No Fishever 22!

-[CHEERS]
-Yay!

[SADLY GRUNTING]

Yeah, it's tragic
that we won't have Fishever 22.

[GIRLS SIGH]

Ooh!

Would it be possible to build the store
in another location?

I know the perfect place!

Yeah, okay! Let's do what the girl says!

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

SHELLSEA:
Girl, girl, girl!

Hey, hey, hey!
How do you like the location of the store?

Perfect, Bea.
Now, get up here, there's a sale!

And Steve Jackson is shirtless!

Be right there!
Whoo-hoo!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-[GROANS]
-[BARKS]

SERGEANT DAN TUNA:
So, in conclusion, crime is bad.

And that is why you shouldn't do crime.
I should know.

My name is Sergeant Dan Tuna
of the Freshwater Police Department.

I'm a cop.

Any questions?

MILO: Oh! Oh, oh!
Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Yes, you there?

Hi, I'm an impressionable youth.

Are you saying instead
of being a criminal, I should be a cop?

Uh, only if you want the powers
of a superhero without being a superhero.

It's only the greatest job in the world.

ALL: Ooh!

See? Lookee here!

I can arrest your teacher
because I'm a cop.

No, kids! Don't let him take me to jail!
They'll eat me alive!

[LAUGHTER]

-Awesome!
-See? Lookee here!

Hold it right there, fellow!

I'm gonna have to confiscate
this sandwich as evidence.

I'm a cop.

ALL: Ooh!

Lookee here, now.

I can do donuts with my squad car
because I'm a cop!

Wow! A cop gets to do whatever they want!
I wanna do whatever I want!

Now, Sergeant Dan Tuna didn't come
all the way down here

to talk about his fantasies.

In order for me to get credit for this,

I gotta take two of you kids
on a police ride-along.

-Pick me! Pick me! I wanna be a cop!
-What the... Well, all right, then.

Now I just need one more kid.

One kid to come with me
on a police ride-along.

You may have to ask permission
from your teacher

because you'll be excused from classes
for the rest of the day!

[ALL GASP]

No school? Kick, punch!

[PANTING]

Jocktopus want no school!

Well, all right, then.

-[BOTH GASP]
-[BELL DINGING]

-I'm gonna be a cop!
-No school!

-Whoo-hoo!
-Whoo-hoo!

-[COP SHOW THEME MUSIC]
-[SIRENS WAILING]

No school!

Yeah!

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Hey, knock it off back there!

I'm getting too old for this.

Now, I normally don't do this normally,

but since you boys
are my new assistant junior deputies,

not only am I going to give 'em y'all

these new fancy new
assistant junior deputy badges,

I'm gonna give y'all
your first assignment.

-Assignment?
-What assignment?

-Like a cop?
-Like homework?

Oh, my gosh!

-What is it?
-What is it?

I want you boys to watch my car

while I conduct
some important police business.

Give me free donuts. I'm a cop.

We are full-fledged
assistant junior police officers.

Can you believe it, Jocktopus?

Man, with this badge,
I can finally tell people what to do!

Clean my room, Oscar!
Make me dinner, Oscar!

Stop crying, Oscar!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!
It's gonna be so great!

-[JOCKTOPUS CRYING]
-Jocktopus, why are you crying?

It's just, Jocktopus so happy.

Because of badge, Jocktopus realize
what he wants to do with life.

Not go to school.

MILO:
Hey! Hey! Jocktopus! Check it out!

[MUSIC PLAYS]

How's my badge look?
I customized it a little.

Ooh! Shiny.

How Jocktopus badge look?

Oh, yeah, my dude!

It's so shiny, I can see myself.

Looking good, looking good. Thanks.

Hey, hey, hey!
Look what Jocktopus find in back of car.

Huh?

[GASPS]
Handcuff fight!

-You're under arrest!
-No, you're under arrest!

No, you're under arrest!

-Arrest!
-No, you're under arrest!

[MILO AND JOCKTOPUS
LAUGHING AND SHOUTING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Hey! What in tarnation is going on here?

It's not what it looks like,
Sergeant Dan.

Yeah, okay, maybe a little.

All right,
I'll go get my handcuff keys out of...

-[GASPS] My car!
-The keys?

Jocktopus ate those.

No, dude, where's my car?

Uh... Jocktopus don't know.

Yeah, you know, like, were we supposed
to be watching it or something?

Oh! What am I gonna do?

[SOBBING]

A cop never loses his cop car!

I'll be the laughingstock
of the entire police force.

[SPOTLIGHTS FLASH ON]

-[COPS LAUGHING]
-Sergeant Dan Tuna, you lost your car!

Your mustache looks dumb!

[SERGEANT DAN TUNA
SNIFFLES]

[GROWLS]

[BOTH SCREAM]

You boys let me down.
You let me down!

I'm taking my badges back.
You boys are off the force!

[WAILING]

No, no, but Sergeant Dan...

Don't you "but Sergeant Dan" me!

My butt will be in the donut shop

drowning my sorrows with my new partners,

Deputy Bismarck and Officer Bear Claw.

All units, all units, officer down...

in the dumps!

[WAILING]

[BOTH GROAN]

Great, now what we do?

Jocktopus have to go back to school now.

Puny fish friend, fix this!
Fix now!

Jocktopus, I think you just shook
a really good idea into my head.

We got in trouble because we lost his car.

If we find his car,
we'll get our badges back!

Hot dog!

Yeah! And no school for Jocktopus!
No school! No school!

And I happen to know just the guy
who can help us.

[DISTANT ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

HEADPHONE JOE: [SINGING]
Cleaning out the toilet

Cleaning out the toilet

Cleaning out the toilet
A bushy-bushy

-What?
-Headphone Joe!

What the... Milo?

That's right! It's me!
And also, my partner, Jocktopus.

In a minute!

Can you tell me something
about Sergeant Dan Tuna's missing car?

Like, where it is?

Hmm, I don't know much about police cars,
but I do know a thing or two about cars.

-Oh?
-JOCKTOPUS: Whoa.

I know a guy.
You might say he's a "dealer."

Here's an address where you can find him.

Our first clue! Man, this is great!

We are one step closer
to getting our badges back.

Come on, Jocktopus!

Uh, Jocktopus?

Uh, no, no, two more minutes!

[BOTH RETCHING]

JOCKTOPUS:
[WHISPERING] There it is.

-Must be dealer.
-You're right!

We need to go undercover and find out
what he did to Sergeant Dan's car.

It's a good thing you guys pulled me
out of school.

I knew my acting skills
would help you one day.

Okay, Bea, we've got you wired
with a hidden microphone,

and we'll be here listening for any clues
as to who's behind all of this.

[BEA SCREAMS]

Now you go out there and make us proud!

Okay, Bea, to catch a criminal,
I must become a criminal.

Acting powers activate!

[SUPERHERO MUSIC PLAYS]

Thanks folks, have a great day.

Whoa! Ooh!

Why, hello there. You look like
someone who's interested in buying a car.

I'm looking for a car, see? Yeah, yeah.

Well, this model here has
an optional sunroof,

power window, lumbar support
and a built-in cassette player.

And if you buy today, we'll throw in
a free tank of gas and some spinning rims.

Hey, that's a great deal! I'll take it!

Great! Now, may I ask
what you do for a living?

Me?
[NERVOUS CHUCKLE]

Um, I'm a gangster, see?

Yeah, done it all.

Racketeering, basket weaving, stolen cars,
yeah, you name it, see?

[BOTH GASP]

-Dang, I think Bea's a real criminal!
-Let's bust her!

I'm the biggest fish
this side of the tank. Yeah, yeah.

We've heard enough!

You're under arrest, Bea,
for stealing Sergeant Tuna's car!

Uh, hello, you guys, I was acting!

Acting?
Oh, man, you had us fooled!

You are such a good actress.

Oh? Aw! You are too kind, thank you.

Icepick! Get this "actress"
and her friends off my lot!

[GROWLING]

[SCREAMING]

Man, now what are we gonna do?

We'll never get those badges back.

[GASPS]

You think I like solving crimes?

All I wanted
was some free donuts and swag.

-Uh...
-And now, I lost everything!

Oh cruel fate!
[SOBBING]

Why have you forsaken us!

I promise to be good
for the rest of my life

if I could just find that car.

-[GRUNTING]
-Huh? Oh!

There it is. Never mind what I said.
[CHUCKLES]

And what's with all these other cars?

Partner, I think we've uncovered
an underground ring of car thieves.

[MAN GROWLS]

MILO: Jocktopus! Look!

JOCKTOPUS: [GASPS]
He has Sergeant Dan's keys!

You think he know guy who stole car?

That is the guy that stole the car!
Let's bust him!

[GROWLS]

Huh? Uh... [PANTING]

[GRUNTING]

Again!

[SCREAMS]

[PANTING]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

[SEAHORSE NEIGHS]

[AUDIENCE CHEERS]

[CAMERAS FLASHING
AND CLICKING]

Man, this is no time to celebrate!
He's getting away!

[MILO PANTING]

Quick! Grab him
through the split screen!

Freeze, sucker!

You have the right to remain silent...
but, uh, deadly.

Anything you say and do
bounces off of me and sticks to you! Ha!

Na-na-na, boo-boo.

-You're under arrest!
-You're under arrest!

Hot dog.

-With relish.
-With relish.

Wait a gosh darn minute.
You guys are cops?

I thought you were going to beat me up!

We were, because you're stealing
all the cars, you criminal, you!

Hot dog.

-With mustard!
-With mustard!

But I do not steal cars.
I was just doing my job.

I am the donut shop valet.

Hot...

-Oh!
-Oh!

-That makes sense now.
-Obvious.

-Because donut shops always have valets.
-So obvious.

I should've figured that.
That's... I always do that.

Boys! Boys! I heard everything,
and I am embarrassed.

Say, as long as you boys
don't tell anybody about this,

I'm gonna let you have these badges back.

-Yay! We got our badges!
-Yay! We got our badges!

You boys made me proud.

Now, how's about we celebrate
like real police officers?

Give us free donuts!

ALL THREE: We're cops!

I'm going stir-crazy, Snake.
I'm busting out of this joint!

Time to venture out
into the big, wide world.

But it's full of horrifying things!

Like cars and poison snakes,
elevator music,

lawnmowers, pop quizzes,
licorice, dentists,

and, oh, what else?
What was the other thing?

-[LOUD CRASH]
-[CAT MEOWS]

[PANTING]

Oh, yeah! Cats! Don't forget about cats.