03x13 - The Big Woo

[bunniefuu]

[BUBBLING]

[SONG BEGINS] One, two, three, four
Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight
Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, 11, 12
Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins, flip your tail
School's out, ring the bell!

La, la, la, la

La, la, la, la

La, la, la, la

La, la, la, la

One, two, three, four
Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight
Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, 11, 12
Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins, flip your tail
School's out, ring the bell [SONG ENDS]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

OSCAR: These past four years have been
the best time of our lives.

We've grown close.
We've shared laughter and tears.

Through it all, we've been there
for each other.

We'll never forget the good times
we've had as friends.

But now, it's time for everything
to change.

Uh... uh, Oscar, I don't...
I don't know if I...

Yeah, you're right.

Maybe that's not the best way
to start your graduation speech.

Oh. Oh, yeah! The speech!
That is totally going to help me. Thanks.

Okay, that was fun. I could listen
to you two talk about nothing all day.

But seriously, you promised to make me
some pancakes before school starts!

-Dude, calm down, we'll get your pancakes.
-Thanks for all your help, Oscar.

Ooh. [CHUCKLES]

Of course, yeah. Of course, Bea.
I... I'm your dude.

-And, uh... [CHUCKLES] ...I'm your dude?
-Yeah, that's right. You're my dude.

-Dude! Pancakes! Now!
-OSCAR: Okay, I'm coming!

[GASPS]

-Um. What's with the faces?
-Did you hear that, honey?

Sounds like wedding bells for Bea
and her dude!

La, la, la, la, la, la!

Are you guys talking about me and Oscar?
No! What?

No, no, no! We are friends!
That is so crazy. What?

Norman, stop hassling your daughter
about her crushes.

-Let's leave our little Bea-Bea alone.
-Uh, Oscar is just a friend!

I think.

[LAUGHING]

[PANTING]

Okay. [CLEARS THROAT] Sorry about that.

I just get... I just get so darn happy

when I think
about you graduating tomorrow.

Because you're so proud of us?

Yeah, sure. Pride. [LAUGHS] Why not?

Jocktopus can't believe
he finally graduating! [GRUNTS]

Yeah, I can't believe it either.

Now, for the serious part
of this discussion.

There seems to be a tradition
at each graduation

where students think it's "cool"
to prank me.

Well, it's not. It's not cool, okay?

[CLEARS THROAT] So to be clear,
I do not want anyone to prank me.

Prank me. Prank me.

-Prank me, Milo! Prank me!
-But you just said...

Technically, I said the words "prank me."

Whatever came before
or after doesn't matter.

-Oh, that's logic! [CHUCKLES]
-Milo! Are you listening to me?

Why, yes, I am, prank you very much.

The little teeny, tiny desk version of you
told me what to do.

-[BELL RINGING]
-Oh, look at that, class is over.

-Now, get out!
-[ALL CHEERING]

Oscar, Oscar! You and I are headed
to the donkey dealership!

Oh, no! [STUTTERS] Why are we going
to the donkey dealership, again?

'Cause I have an awesome idea
for how I'm going to prank Baldwin.

It's gonna be epic! Trust a brother!
Donkey Dealership.

Everyone says that the University
of Fish Arizona is just a party school,

but they have lots
of good academic qualities!

-[GRUNTING]
-I'm lucky to go there!

[GASPS] Oh, my gosh! I'm so sorry, Koi!

You know I didn't mean it, right?
I love you.

[CHUCKLES] Finberley's totally
gone squirrel-poop insane.

Isn't that hilarious, Bea? [CHUCKLES]

Bea. What's wrong?
Why aren't you laughing?

[SIGHS] Nothing's funny right now.

-Why? What happened?
-I can't tell you. It's super-personal.

Oh, you absolutely can tell me.
That's what I live for.

No. Seriously, Shellsea,
it's, like, so embarrassing,

it will potentially change your opinion
of me.

Holy mackerel! Be right back, girls.
Bea just got major cramps.

-'Kay, spill it.
-Um, I...

Wait. [SNORTING]

'Kay, coast is clear. Now let me have it.

Bea, I'm your best friend.
You can tell me anything.

Anything! Wait. I'll figure this out.

What is the one thing
you would never want to...

-Shellsea, please...
-Wow. Must be really bad.

Like, really unspeakable... Oh, my gosh!

You finally realize
you think you might like Oscar!

-Wow, you're pretty good!
-[SHELLSEA RETCHING]

Shellsea, come on! Is it that bad?

[GASPS] Sorry, Bea.
That was, like, an involuntary reaction.

[BLOWS] Okay, listen.
I'm glad you told me.

I understand that school is ending,
and emotions are running high.

Shellsea, no. I... I've been feeling
this way for a long time, actually.

-I just didn't realize...
-Bea, Oscar is your friend.

You don't want to go there
with your friend.

Wait, you went there with Michael.

Michael was your friend,
and now you're dating him.

Okay, Bea, that's totally different.
Michael's hot.

Oscar... Well, he's.... Oscar.

I know, I know! Trust me,
I am fully aware. What do I do?

You're my girl.
I'm just looking out for you.

Please, don't do anything I will regret.

[FEMALE CHORUS SINGING]
Come on!

That's it, fish people! Work those glutes!
Shake those tails.

[PANTING] You know, Bro, a part of me
really can't wait for this to be over.

[PANTS] Totally! I don't like to run

unless I have to go to the bathroom
or something like that.

No, I mean, high school in general.
[PANTS]

It's been the same thing every day
for the last four years, you know?

[PANTING] I'm ready for a change.

Pfft! Nothing ever changes, dude!
Trust a brother!

-W... what do you mean?
-How you doing back there, Jocktopus?

Jocktopus smash puny nerd fish!

See, that dude's been like that
since third grade!

That's it, Jocktopus!
You motivate those runners!

All right. Let's take our shirts off
so we can run faster!

Um, that's the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.

See? I knew you were going to say that.
You always say that.

'Cause nothing ever changes!

And you're wrong! Taking off your shirt
totally does make you run faster!

Me, I cannot wait for everything
to stay exactly the same!

You, me, and Bea!

Just three dudes
doing the same old dude stuff

until the end of dude time.

[BOTH SNORING]

[SNORING, SIGHS]

Oh, so I guess I'm at college now.

-Yo, Oscar! Good to see you, man!
-Uh, yeah, you, too.

-[CHUCKLES] College.
-Oscar, excellent work on your midterm!

-Oh, thanks, Professor!
-Oscar, there you are!

There's something I need to tell you.
I think you're really going to like it.

Oh, I've been waiting to hear this
my whole life!

I need to tell you
all about my five new boyfriends.

Oh, that's not what I was waiting to hear.

Oh, it's going to be so fun,
because you're here to help me through

all the relationships
I'll be having in college! [CHUCKLES]

Like, so many relationships.

Huh. Okay. Yeah, you know, actually,
I should really get going.

[PANTING]

-Phew!
-[HUMMING] Hey, roomie!

I figured we'd dorm together
since we're, like, best friends

-and it wouldn't be awkward at all.
-What?

Can you help me pick out an outfit
for a date?

-[SCREAMS]
-Hey, Oscar!

-You're like a brother to me.
-Come meet my new boyfriend!

-Best friends forever, Oscar!
-[SCREAMS]

Milo! Oh, thank goodness it's you!

But, Oscar, I'm not Milo.

-I've been...
-...Bea the whole time.

No!

It would mean so much to me
if you were in my wedding.

Will you be my maid of honor?

[SCREAMS]

[PANTING]

[LIGHT FLICKERS]

Darn it, Milo!
Changing the light bulbs is your job!

Stupid ladder. I don't know why
I don't just swim up here.

I guess if you want something
to get changed, you gotta do it yourself.

If I want something to change,
I've gotta change it.

[LIGHT FLICKERS]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, yeah, now this is a good donkey.
You know how I can tell?

[SNIFFS] Still got that new donkey smell.

Hello, and welcome to the Donkey Dealer!
Let's make a deal! I am Fish Vartan.

I see you gentlemen are interested
in one of our fine, imported donkeys.

[BRAYS]

Would you say this donkey
is good for pranking someone?

Oh, you want a "prank donkey!"
Come, my friends, come.

Here, we have our A-plus level
prank donkey.

-Please note the fine Italian leather.
-Oh, my! It's like touching a baby's butt!

Also, please notice the abundant use
of LED technology!

-Quality!
-I gotta have this donkey!

But I have not shown you the best part.

Under this flap here is what we call
the "ultimate prank fun button."

-Zabba-dabba-doo! [GIGGLES]
-Press it, my friend.

-[BEEPING]
-[MUSIC PLAYING]

I cannot wait to use this on Baldwin!
[CHUCKLES]

Oh. Yes, um,
but there is one little problem.

-What you talking about, Fish Vartan?
-Yes, well, uh,

this was our only prank donkey

and as you can see, it has gone,
well, ka-blooey.

Man, the nerve of that guy!
It's like... it's like...

[GRUNTS] The nerve of that guy!

Graduation is today
and I still don't have a prank!

What's up? You've been in your head
all day, dude.

Don't worry. We'll figure out
the perfect prank for Baldwin.

It's not that. I've just got
some stuff on my mind. Heavy stuff.

What? That you got the hots for Bea?

I don't have the... It's not what you...
Don't be ridiculous!

-How did you know?
-Oscar, baby doll. Give me your fins.

I know everything there is to know
about you.

Because we're brothers?

No! Because you talk in your sleep.
It's hilarious. [CHUCKLES]

[SNORES] Oh, Bea,
you're such a super lady.

-[SNORES] I'm so glad we started dating.
-[CHUCKLES]

[SNORES] Oh, why, thank you.
Yes... yes, I... I've been working out.

-Oh, my gosh! I'm so embarrassed.
-Oscar, look at me.

Never be embarrassed about your feelings.
They are a beautiful, beautiful thing.

So, I should tell her how I feel?

-Heck, no! You crazy?
-But you just said...

I said it's okay to have feelings,
not to act on them!

You drop a b*mb like that on Bea
and everything is going to change!

What if she gets weirded out

and doesn't want to be friends
with us anymore?

That is a risk I am not willing to take.

Trust a brother. Come on,
I got a cure for the heartache.

It's called cupcakes!

I always thought love
Would fit like a glove

But when push comes to shove

I just need to know
Is this the feeling I've been dreaming of

-Oh, Fish Amore!
-MR. MUSSELS: Bea Goldfishberg!

What are you doing on the stage?
You're graduating!

I just had a lot on my mind,
and I think I'm better when I'm onstage.

What you thinking about?

Just affairs of the heart, Mr. Mussels.
[SOBS] You wouldn't understand.

I know enough not to ever give up on love.

When you love someone,
you are two parts of a whole.

Not the kind of hole in a donut...
[MUNCHES]

...but the kind of whole,
like the whole enchilada.

[MUNCHES]

Maybe whoever you love
is a big shot gym coach

and you are just a lonely drama teacher.

But you find a way to make it work!

Just look in your heart
and you'll know how to feel.

Now, get off my stage! Get! Shoo!

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[SIGHS]

-OSCAR: Bea!
-[SCREAMS]

Oscar, you scared the scales off of me!

Oh, sorry! I thought you might be
stressed out about the speech,

so I made you these cupcakes.

I frosted them
to look like you, me, and Milo.

But I guess they are kind of horrifying.

You doing all right?
You look so lost in thought.

-Is it the speech?
-No. It's just graduation, I guess.

I kind of thought I'd be happy and excited
to grow up and move on.

And... and I am.

But, I, um...
I have a lot of other feelings, too.

Yeah. I got a lot of feelings as well.

About college, I mean!

You know, only about college,
and nothing else.

Yeah.

Not everything's going to change,
you know? Right?

I mean, no matter what happens
or where we end up,

-you and me will always be friends.
-Yeah.

We'll always be friends, Oscar.

Hey, seriously. I'd do anything for you.
You know that, right?

I'd even split my most horrifying cupcake
with you.

Take Milo's face. It's not pretty but...

-[MUNCHES] Mm.
-[MUNCHES]

Mm. These are really good, Oscar.
[CHUCKLES, GULPS]

-Oscar, why are you so sweet to me?
-I'm sweet?

Uh, I think that's just
the cupcake talking.

-No, you're always sweet.
-[CHUCKLES] Come on, I'm not always sweet.

Name one thing you've done for me
that wasn't sweet. Like, ever.

Um... uh... [CHUCKLES]

-[GASPS]
-[CHUCKLING]

Oh, you are so gonna get it!

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

-Get back here! [CHUCKLING]
-Bea, stop! [CHUCKLING]

Pizza plus hats equals "Pizzats!"

-We'll be millionaires!
-Yeah. No, that's dumb.

Just think about it.

Hey, honey, you ready to be rich
and famous?

We're not going to be rich.

Dad, Mom, um,
I need to ask you guys something.

How did you two know
you were right for each other?

-You know, not just as friends.
-Oh, well, that's the best part.

You start as friends,
and then it just happens naturally.

But weren't you afraid
of ruining your friendship?

I mean, he's Dad!

[BLOWS A RASPBERRY] Huh?

-La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
-Well, I'm not sure you ever do know.

-You just get a feeling.
-Describe.

I guess it starts as a kind of a warm,
fuzzy feeling.

Yeah, that explodes like a geyser
of emotion!

And then you feel like you're laying
on a giant comfy pillow.

That's going down a raging river
of fear and excitement.

But it's not like running.

-It's almost like a great big rushing woo!
-Woo! That's it! Woo!

-Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!
-Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

[SIGHS] Does that help, sweetheart?

Well, yeah, but I haven't felt
the "woo" yet.

Well, if you haven't felt the "woo,"
maybe it's not right.

If you don't feel the "woo,"
the love isn't true.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la.

Okay. Well, I guess I've got to go
get ready for my speech.

Thanks for helping us get ready, Bird Mom!

Yeah! You know,
it seems like such a shame

to cover up all this swag
with a big blue gown.

[RETCHING]

-Thanks, Bird Mom!
-You're the best, Bird Mom!

And how are you doing, Brother dear?

You keeping all those feelings bottled up
inside you like we talked about?

-[CHUCKLES]
-Well, yeah.

I guess Bea and I decided
to just be friends, or dudes, or whatever.

I mean, it's probably for the best.
I just... I just can't help but feel...

Oskie, now is not the time to feel things.

-But...
-Trust a brother.

You just stay here and think back
on all the amazing advice I've given you

over the course of my entire life.
Now, where is my cummerbund?

[GRUNTS] Wee!

Huh, maybe I should trust a brother.

Oskie, we should look for treasures
in the cave!

You should let me cut your hair!

It'll grow back quicker
if you put peanut butter on your head.

It's easy!
Just crawl into the smiley face's mouth!

Or maybe instead of trusting a brother,
I have to start trusting myself.

I'm gonna tell Bea how I feel.

-[ALL CHEERING]
-[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

-I'm a graduating clam! [GRUNTING]
-I hope I made the right decision

about choosing the University
of Fish Arizona!

Hey, am I the only one who forgot
to wear clothes under this thing?

[SQUEALS, GRUNTS]

[BOTH GRUNT]

Bea, you still got that look on your face.
Talk to mama.

I think my parents were right, Shellsea.
I haven't felt the "woo."

Oscar's not the right one for me, I guess.

Sure. I normally wouldn't condone

talking to your parents
about stuff like this,

but in this case, they're totally right.

All right, everyone!
Please take your seats!

[LAUGHING]

-Not for real, Jocktopus!
-[GLASS SHATTERS]

I gotta prank Baldwin with something!
I know it's kind of last minute, but...

Hmm. Now, do I go with the chicken prank,
or with classic doo-doo humor?

-Hmm.
-Too late, dingus! I'm already doing both!

-What?
-Behold!

The flatulent chicken!

[SQUAWKING, FARTING]

[CHUCKLES]

-Gotcha, Baldwin!
-[BOTH CHUCKLE]

-[CHUCKLES] I'm Randy Pincherson!
-[GROANS] Now what am I gonna do?

[BLOWS] Beach ball! Woo!

-[ALL CHEER]
-Oh, man.

Oh. Um,

Bea, uh, [STUTTERS] there's something...
there's something I have to tell you.

-No! Don't do it! I'm begging you.
-Milo, cork it! I gotta do this!

Well, excuse me for living.

Bea, I'm gonna tell you something.
It may mean we can't be friends anymore,

but I can't go another day
without letting you know how I feel.

I like you. Like, like-like you.
More than friends. I've always liked you.

-You're just the most special...
-Oscar! Stop, stop. I know how you feel.

I just don't know how I feel yet.

I'm sorry.

"Don't tell her," I said.
"It'll backfire," I said.

Huh. What do I know?

Attention, students.
The graduation speech will now commence,

given by student one, zero, zero,
one, one, zero, Bea Goldfishberg.

-[ALL CHEERING]
-Yay, Bea!

-[ALL APPLAUDING]
-Um... [CHUCKLES] Um...

-Uh, hello, everybody!
-Hello!

When I first started at Freshwater,
I was like, "Hi, school!"

And now that we're graduating,
I'm like, um... "Bye, school."

Hello!

These past four years have been
the best times of our lives.

We've all grown close.
We've shared laughter and tears.

And... and through it all,
we've been there for each other.

We'll never forget all the good times
that we've had as friends.

Swimming here in circles

Hold me, oh, so tight

Right by your side

Um, but now it's time
for everything to change, because...

I like you, too, Oscar.
I... I like-like you.

Like, more than friends. [CHUCKLES]
I...

Woo! [CHUCKLES] Woo!

-What's happening?
-What's wrong with her?

Woo-hoo!

-Woo!
-Woo!

I felt it!

-Woo!
-Woo!

I knew it!
You guys were meant for each other.

-I told you, you should have told her.
-It has been four years of good times

and bad times, of adventures
and, and close shaves.

I never would've guessed
that things would've turned out this way.

But as we swim into uncharted waters,

as long as we stay together,
we will always be a school of fish.

[CHUCKLES] Diddly-doo!

[ALL CHEERING]

What are you doing? Go to her, you goof!

Now, it's time
to let the graduation-ing begin!

One, two, three, four
Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight
Hurry up, and don't be late

Nine, ten, 11, 12
No more secrets left to tell

-Flap your fins
-Flip your tails

School's out, ring a bell

La, la, la, la

La, la, la, la

La, la, la, la

La, la, la, la

La, la, la, la

La, la, la, la

One, two, three, four
Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight
Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, 11, 12
Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins, flip your tail
School's out, ring the bell

Hey, Mr. Baldwin, I got something for ya.

Well, I... I got nothing for you.
You're not graduating, Milo.

How could this be?
I was supposed to graduate today!

-I texted it to my friends!
-Milo! Calm down.

-I have your diploma right here.
-You pranked me?

[CHUCKLES] I got you pretty good, huh?

[CHUCKLES] You've got
some smooth moves, Mr. Baldwin.

I... I knew you were joking.

-Congratulations, Milo.
-I'm king of the world!

King of the world!