01x33 - A Goof of the People

[bunniefuu]

Ah-hyuck!

♪ H-h-h-hit it ♪

♪ Like father, like son ♪

♪ You're always number one ♪

Yes!

♪ There's buddies There's pals ♪

Yeah!

♪ You always seem to work things out ♪

♪ Can't you see you're two of a kind ♪

♪ Lookin' for a real good time ♪

Woah!

♪ A real good time ♪

Aah!

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we'll always stick together ♪

♪ Always stick together ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Side by side wherever we go ♪

♪ We're always ready to roll ♪

-♪ Now gimme a beat ♪
-♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we always stick together ♪

Gawrsh!

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Now we're calling everyone ♪

♪ Come along and join the fun ♪

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ Baa ba doo da bop baa ba doo bop ♪

Yeah!

[coughing]

[coughing continues]

Something in the air doesn't
agree with my garden, Maxie.

That's pollution, Pop.

Now, son, it's OK to disagree with me,

but no need to use that sort of language.

Dad! I'm talking about
all the dirt in the air,

and it's coming from there,
that new Slimeco factory.

You're right, Maxie.

The air was lots cleaner
before they showed up.

I want to show you something. Volare!

This is what you wanted to show me?

An empty mayonnaise jar?

It's clean air, Max.

Been saving it since my childhood.

Wow! It's 10 times cleaner
than the air outside.

That settles it.

I'm going to go talk
to them Slimeco fellers

about cleaning up their act.

Here, son, you keep this.

It's a family air-loom.

Ah! Mr. Goof! So nice of you to drop by!

I'm Fenton Sludge, owner of Slimeco,

and this is my assistant
for 12 years, Milton.

Melvin, sir. The name's Melvin.

Always a pleasure to meet
a member of the community

we destroy-- I mean serve.

Oh, nice to meet you, Mr. Sludge.

Now, about my petunias--

Come, come. Let me show you
around our modest little factory.

Like I was saying,
my petunias are getting all wilty,

and some of them are about to--

Ah! I love the smell
of toxic waste in the morning.

It smells like... money.

Mr. Sludge, you've gotta stop pollutin'.

-[gulps]
-I've got to what?

S-stop pollutin'.

You're dirtyin' up the air and water, too.

Oh, am I? Do you have any idea
what clean air and water would cost me?

Quick. What would it cost me?

Three cents a day.

Three cents a day?
There goes my profit margin!

Are you trying to ruin me, Mr. Goof?
To destroy me?

Why, I ought to--

Tell you what.

I'll bring it up
at the next board meeting.

And just so you don't go home
empty-handed,

A couple Slimeco souvenirs.

Whaa-hoo-hoo!

[splat]

And thanks for dropping in!

[laughing]

And overall, Mr. Sludge seemed
like a real nice feller, Maxie.

Dad, don't you get it?
He gave you the brush-off.

Don't think so, Maxie.

Just this pennant and cap.

No, Dad. We've been studying
politics in school.

And I know what's going on here.

-You do?
-Yeah.

Mr. Sludge figures he doesn't
have to listen to you

because you're just John Q. Public.

You mean the feller they named
the public library after?

I got it!

Our teacher's been telling us there's
a special election for mayor coming up.

Dad, you've gotta get involved.

OK, Maxie, I will!

And take a stand!

I'm standin', son.

Dad, you've gotta run!

I'm runnin', Maxie!

[crash]

Just one question, son.

Where am I running to?

City Hall, Dad!

You're gonna be the new mayor
of Spoonerville.

-I am?
-it's the only way

you'll ever get Slimeco to stop polluting.

But Maxie, I'm no politician.

Nothin' to worry about, Pop.

This book will tell ya
everything ya need to know.

[narrator clears throat]
"How To Be A Politician."

Ah, the politician.

Staunch advocate of the common good.

Tireless public servant.

Selflessly fighting for
the welfare of his fellow man.

What qualifies him for
this most elevated of posts?

His formidable experience?

Keen intelligence?

Unassailable honesty?

Yes!

Plus, he got the most votes.

Chapter one-- How to get elected.

The single greatest vote-getting device
is the handshake.

Be ever diligent to shake every hand
that comes your way.

Remember, an unshook hand

is a vote for your opponent.

Hi. How ya doin'?
Hope ya vote for me. Ah-hyuck!

Hi. Hello. How ya doin'?
Hope you vote for me.

[narrator]
Unfortunately for most candidates,

the right hand seldom knows
what the left is doing.

Chapter two-- Kissing babies.

There is no better way to win the vote
of a proud new parent,

than to admire and kiss their baby.

Cute baby. Ah-hyuck!

[narrator] Though nine out of ten babies
are precious bundles of joy...

Adorable.

[narrator] It's the 10th one
you have to watch out for.

Well, aren't you going to kiss him?

Gawrsh! The political arena's

a lot like the boxing arena.

[narrator] Chapter three.

Having mastered the art of handshaking

and baby kissing,

It's time to combine the two.

Shake.

Kiss.

[narrator] Have you got it?

I think so. Shake.

Kiss.

Why, you--

[narrator]
Yes, by following these few simple tips,

your campaign will really take off.

-[bell dings]
-whaa-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Hey, Goofster!

Be right with you, Petey. I'm studying.

You? Studying? [laughing]

Lemme see that!

"How To Be A Politician."

Thinking of runnin' for dogcatcher?

[laughing]

No, Petey. I'm running for mayor.

A Goof as mayor?

That's rich!

Yup, and I'd appreciate your vote.

Hey, what is this, aerobics?

Let go of me, ya Goof!

OK, Petey.

[crash]

Say, I bet if I was mayor,

I could take long vacations

and ride in big limozeenies.

Hear ye! Hear ye!

Presentin' his honor, the mayor...

Pete!

-[cheering]
-[slurping]

Pete? Oh, Petey? You OK?

Ya look a little flushed.

Uh, listen, Goof.

You don't want to be a mayor.

-It's a job for suckers.
-It is?

Sure! Everybody screaming--

"Fix the potholes! Lower the taxes!

Build a highway!"

Ha! Who needs that kind of aggravation?

But, Petey, I'm running to stop
Slimeco from pollutin'.

And everybody I've talked to
says they're gonna vote for me.

Hmm. Anti-pollution, eh?

Not a bad angle.

[Peg] You?
You running for mayor, Pete-ums?

[laughs] You can't be serious.

Never been more serious
in my life, pound cake.

You're up to something, aren't you?

Oh, you got me all wrong, angel feet.

The reason I'm runnin' is 'cause I...

To stop pollution! That's it!

Ooh, I hate that stuff.

Oh, since when? Only last week,

you were taking smog devices
off the RVs you sell.

Yeah, Daddy. And Mommy's always
yelling at you for littering.

And you're always telling me
how recycling is for suckers.

Yeah, well, see, that was the old Pete.

This is the new Pete--

No Pollution Pete.

Well, I have just one thing to say.

What's that, poodle-kins?

I'm very proud of you!

Me, too. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!

And if elected,
I promise to clean up Slimeco

and stop pollution!

So remember-- a vote for me

is the Goofy way to vote. Ah-hyuck!

[cheering, applause]

That was candidate Goof

giving his anti-pollution speech.

Later, across town,

Candidate Pete gave his
anti-pollution speech.

And if elected, I promise to...

Uh... clean up slim mec--uh--

Slimeco and stop pollution!

So remember-- a vote for me

is the Goofy-- [chuckles]

I mean, the Petey way to vote!

[cheering, applause]

Two do-gooder candidates?

What's this world coming to?

I simply must get one of them
in my control.

Good thinking, sir.

Bribery has always been
one of your strong suits.

Hmm. That Goof character is too honest.

-What do we know about the other one?
-Oh!

Well, sir, I bought a car
from him last week.

It had no smog device,
and it fell apart day later.

Sounds promising.

Call up his permanent record.

[beeping]

I think we hit the jackpot, sir.

Lies, cheats, turns back odometers,

and overall, has the morals
of a pickpocket.

Do you think he's bribable, Marvin?

Oh, infinitely bribable, sir.

And the name's Melvin.

Well, Morton, it looks like we've found
the next mayor of Spoonerville.

[laughing]

This is some kind of operation
you got, Mr. Sludge.

Please, please, call me Fenton.

And what is it exactly that
you make here, uh, Fenton?

Money, Pete!

Lots and lots of money!

Which brings me to the reason
I invited you here today.

You see, Pete, I'm thinking of donating
to your campaign fund.

Oooh!

But I know how strongly
anti-pollution you are.

Yeah, well, uh...

There's two sides to every issue.

And I certainly wouldn't want
to compromise your morals.

Morals, shmorals.

I'm always open to another point of view.

If there were only some way
to get you to change your mind.

Oh, I feel it changing already, Fenton.

Uh, you missed a pocket.

Help yourself.

So, do we understand each other?

I back you for mayor,

and when you get into office...

Right. Sure.

I make sure Slimeco
stays in business forever!

Precisely.

Oh, and Pete...

You will stop saying
all those nasty things

about pollution, won't you?

Eh, pollution?

What's that, Fenton?

[laughing] You can count on me, pal.

[laughing]

And we gotta stop Slimeco
from dumping stuff in this lake,

so Maxie and his friends
will can a nice clean place to swim.

[crowd cheering]

So if you want to stop pollution,

vote for me... Or for my pal Petey.

My fellow Spoonervillians,

the Goof here is a big dumb liar!

There's nothing wrong with this lake.

Allow me to demonstrate.

Uh, what's Dad up to, Mom?

I haven't the foggiest,

but you can be sure he's up to something.

[splat]

[coughs] refreshin'!

Invigorizin'!

Dee-lightful!

Pyew, Daddy!

You smell worse than
that package of old meat

Mommy found in the back of the fridge.

-[laughter]
-[moans]

[horn honking]

Here he comes!

[crowd cheering]

Hey, that's not Goofy.

-That's Pete!
-Where's Goofy?

Shameful, isn't it?

The Goof doesn't even show up
for his own parade.

Won't give you people the time of day.

But I will!

Free watches for everybody!

Hey, kids, what time is it?

It's time to vote for Pete!

[laughing]

A vote for me is the Goofy way to vote!

A vote for me is the Goofy way to vote!

Pop? Are you sure
this is the parade route?

Sure, I'm sure, Maxie.

Petey wrote out these directions for me
so I wouldn't get lost.

[mooing]

"Goofy wins the rural vote!
Scores big in Spoonerville heartland!"

You're proving to be
a great disappointment to me, Pete!

But how was I supposed to know
those cows were registered voters?

Don't worry. I'll cream that Goof in
the debate tomorrow night.

You'd better!

Well, ciao.

Arrivederci.

Toodles.

Monroe!

Right here, sir, and it's Melvin, sir.

That knucklehead Pete can't be trusted
to defeat Goofy.

Oh, sir, I know that look.

You've got an evil plan, don't you?

Yes, Maureen, I do.

Load ten barrels of this toxic ooze
into the back my limousine.

I'm going to make a little delivery.

[laughing]

Good evening, everyone.
This is Dan Blather with all the news

coming to you live from Pete's RV lot,

the site of tonight's debate.

We asked each debater to draw straws.

And it looks like Pete's drawn
the longest one,

so our first question goes to him.

Pete, taking into account
municipal revenues

and recessionary deflation,
what fiduciary index would you use

to determine taxes?

I-- I, uh, well...

Free burgers for everyone!

-[crowd clamoring]
-Oh, burgers! All right!

[laughing]

I see. And what is your response,
candidate Goofy?

Ah-hyuck! Needs ketchup.

Candidate Pete,
how can you possibly justify

your current position on pollution?

Are you actually in favor
of dirty air and water?

[crowd clamoring]

Well... well... I...

[sputtering] See, Dan, the thing is...

Let me answer that like this.

When I was young lad,

I had a puppy named Chester.

He had a warm, wet nose

and a fluffy tail.

He was given to me
by my Mom on my mother's side.

Oh, that woman... [sniff]...
She was a saint.

She worked two jobs,

then came home to clean and cook for us,

never spoke a disparagin' word.

What's Daddy talking about, Mommy?

Yeah, I thought they asked him
a question about pollution.

Children, your father's demonstrating
pollution of the mouth.

[shaking] And then one day,

Chester wasn't there
when I came home from school.

And my mother said, "Son,"
And I said, "Mom."

We were close.

"He's gone to that big kennel in the sky."

[sobbing]

I'm sorry, Petey!

I never knew!

You've got my vote. [sobbing]

You're drippin' on me, ya Goof!

-I made the whole thing up!
-[crowd clamoring]

Hey, no! No!

What I meant was...

Here. Take a look at these.

[gasp] Oh, my!

It's a scoop! I've got a scoop!

Candidates, what would you say about this?

Ten barrels of toxic waste being
stored in a residential garage!

Mmm.
I'd say that looks a lot like my garage.

In fact, it is my garage!

Gawrsh.

Scandal rocks the Spoonerville elections,

as anti-pollution candidate Goofy

is exposed as the traitor he is.

Gawrsh, Maxie, they're calling me
an eggs benedict.

That's Benedict Arnold, Dad.

Although the election
isn't until tomorrow,

Pete has already
declared himself the winner.

I just don't remember putting those things
in there, Maxie.

Dad, you didn't.

It's obvious you were set up!

I was? But by who?

Thank you all for coming.

Please quiet down.

Not my Petey!

Looks that way, Pop.

No! Look that way, Maxie!

These footprints
could only belong to one person.

The swamp beast from Planet Nine?

No, Maxie. The president of Slimeco!

Come on, little feller, we're gonna have
a talk with Fenton Sludge.

Wait a second, Dad!

Show that Slimeco creep
what clean air really looks like.

Will do, Maxie!

[sniffing]

[meowing]

[growls]

Hello! Anybody home?

-Mr. Goof!
-Yeow!

After all the vicious, nasty things

you've said about Slimeco,

you dare to show your face here?

Are you mad?

You bet I'm mad!

You're the one who put
that smelly stuff in my garage,

aren't you?

Of course I am, you fool!

I had to stop you.

You were trying to have shut down!

Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Sludge,

but I think you should see this.

[Dan] ...where just minutes ago,

a monster made of toxic waste

busted free from
the garage candidate Goof.

Refusing to be interviewed,

It was last seen
heading down the highway--

Fool! Didn't you realize
exposing those barrels to sunlight

would cause them to mutate and come alive?

In a word, not really.

I've had quite enough of you, Mr. Goof!

[crashing, roaring]

Da-da?

No! I'm not your Da-Da!

There does seem to be
a family resemblance, sir.

He's your Da-Da!

Da-Da!

Oh! Got some nasty breath there,
Mr. Ooze Monster.

Wilted my petunia.

Here you go, little feller.

[choking]

Gawrsh! Fresh air doesn't
agree with you much, does it?

What's in that bottle? I must know!

It could be worth a fortune!

-Take a whiff, Fenton.
-[sniffs]

Ohh... Ohh...

I'm... I'm melting! Oh!

No, you're not, Fenton.

You're just letting off a little steam.

Ah-hyuck!

Well, what do you know?

You're a handsome guy!

He's right, sir. That clean air
really cleared up your complexion.

Merlin, from now on,
I'm going to devote my life

to cleaning up pollution
instead of causing it.

Bravo, Mr. Sludge! Bravo!

-Just one thing.
-Yes?

The name is... Oh, never mind.

Come on, little feller.

Our work here is done.

Candidate Goofy defeats
Slimeco Ooze Monster.

Soars ahead in the polls.

Fenton sludge tears down Slimeco.

Promises to open up
a ballet school in its place.

Goofy wins election by a landslide!

Immediately appoints his former rival Pete
to a city hall position.

-Ready, Petey?
-Ready.

Hear ye, hear ye, et cetera.

Presentin' his honor the mayor... Goof.

[crowd cheering]

♪ Gimme a beat ♪

[theme music playing]

Yeah!