01x45 - Big City Blues

[bunniefuu]

Ah-hyuck!

♪ H-h-h-hit it ♪

♪ Like father, like son ♪

♪ You're always number one ♪

[both] Yes!

♪ There's buddies There's pals ♪

Yeah!

♪ You always seem to work things out ♪

♪ Can't you see you're two of a kind ♪

♪ Lookin' for a real good time ♪

Whoa!

♪ A real good time ♪

Aah!

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we'll always stick together ♪

♪ Always stick together ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Side by side wherever we go ♪

♪ We're always ready to roll ♪

♪ Now gimme a beat ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we always stick together ♪

Gawrsh!

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Now we're calling everyone ♪

♪ Come along and join the fun ♪

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ Baa ba doo da bop baa ba doo bop ♪

Yeah!

So what do you wanna do?

I don't know. What do you wanna do?

-[door slams]
-I don't know.

Say, fellers, have you seen my sunglasses?

-Shirt pocket.
-What do you know?

Ah-hyuck! Wanted to take
a snooze in the hammock

without my eyelids getting sunburned.

Oof! Kinda dark. Ah-hyuck!

You know, you could hide your report card
in your dad's shirt pocket

and he'd never find it.

-I'll alert the media.
-Hey! Don't touch that!

Come back with my paper, hairball!

So much for the high point of the day.

-What do you want to do now?
-I don't know.

Hm! Send them critters
to the salivatin' army.

Can't even read the funny papers
without drool all over everything.

What're you spuds up to?

Uh... We're resting, sir.

The fast life of the suburbs
has aged us before our times.

Well, it just isn't right
for kids to be sitting around.

You have to prepare to grow up

and do manly stuff like me.

Oh! Shall we go put our pajamas back on?

Nah. You're dressed fine.

It's your altitude you have to work on.

Start thinking big city
instead of small town.

-Yes, sir!
-Good.

Now, I'm going back to bed.

So whatever it is you decide to do,

just sort of keep it quiet.

Congratulate us, P.J. We're saved!

Did I miss something?

Wake up, peejster.

Spoonerville's like the ultimate
vegetation zone, right?

Totally beige.

So we do what your dad told us

and go get ourselves
some big city excitement.

-Big city?
-All the way downtown!

[P.J.] But that's really the big city!

Which is exactly where your very
own father said to start thinking.

But we can't go to the city alone,
Max. We're just kids.

P.J., P.J., Peejster.

Would mere children

desire the sophisticated
pursuits of the big town,

living on the cutting edge,
up all night dancing,

every minute more awesome
than the one before?

Uh, I refuse to answer
on the grounds of sounding like a wimp.

[Max] Loaded hot dogs
from a street-vendor,

egg rolls from Chinatown,
lasagna in little Italy,

corned beef sandwiches, shish kebobs--

Stop! I can't eat another bite!
OK, I'm in.

But what are you gonna tell your dad?

I'm gonna tell him exactly
what we're going to do.

Wow! Won't he stop us?

Not if he can't find the note.

Why do I feel like I'm in my underwear

at a school assembly?

[mewing]

[snoring]

[screeching]

Oh!

Whew!

Piece of cake.

Big city, here we come.

[P.J.] This is the big city?

I thought you were talking
about the mall downtown.

Mall? What can we learn
about real life at a mall?

You can learn that being alive
is better than being dead.

[coughing]

You see, Peej? Even the air smells
different in the big city.

More alive! More exciting!

[P.J.] [couhgs] I'll let you know as soon
as I find some air to breathe.

You have to enjoy this
while you have the chance, P.J.

There's nothing we can't do if we want to.

And nobody's gonna treat us
like little kids.

Pne, two, three, find the pea.

Big money's easy as A-B-C, what I mean?

What do you say, young man?
Care to give it a whirl?

-What'll we do?
-[man] Hot dogs!

-Get your hot dogs right here!
-Sorry, Max.

I can't think on an empty stomach.

What's the matter, sonny? Daddy doesn't
let you play with the big boys?

[stuttering] Who are you calling sonny?

Why, you could turn that 5
in your pocket into 20,

Even $200.

Just remember which cup the pea is under.

That's easy.

[chuckles] Yes.

[Pete] What do you mean,
you don't know where my kid is?

Why should I know where your kid is?

'Cause your kid's always
gettin' my kid in trouble.

How can my kid be getting your kid
in trouble when they aren't even here?

Ooh, it's happening again, Goof.

You're tryin' to make sense,
and I'm gettin' a headache!

-Now where's my kid?
-Relax, Petey!

If the boys were goin' off on their own,
they'd have told us.

What the-- Who turned off the lights?

Hold still.

It's from the boys.

-Well, well, what's it say? What's it say?
-They went downtown.

I told ya when you were telling me
that they'd tell us

if they did something
that needed tellin' about, didn't I?

OK, OK, so you're right
for once in your life.

That's only one in a row, ya know.

I knew we could trust those little guys.

-Downtown?
-Downtown?

But there's weirdos downtown!

And k*ller bees, and people wearin'
neo-post modern fashions!

And crocogators in the sewers,
and all sorts of icky stuff like that!

When I get hold of the spud
that gave them the idea

to go downtown, I'll pulverize 'im.

They say it was your idea,

so they thought it'd be okey-dokey.

Oh. Never mind that now!

We gotta save our sons from civilization!

Ow!

Oh, man, I'm broke.

[siren wailing]

[chuckles] Yeah, well, tough luck!

Ciao, laddybug.

Come on, let's scarf.

Hey, relax, Max, you'll feel better
after you get something to eat.

[sighs] Yeah.

[screaming]

-Help!
-Yaah!

What happened?

P.J., relax. You can buy another hot dog.

I don't have any more money.

Can I bum some off you?

I blew all mine on a lousy investment.

[both sigh]

[horns honking]

We seem to be stuck, Petey.

Hey! Why don't we sing
while we're waitin'?

It'll cheer you up!

♪ Hundred bottles of milk on the wall ♪

♪ A hundred bottles of milk ♪

♪ If one of them bottles happens to fall ♪

♪ There's 99 bottles of milk on the wall ♪

♪ 99 bottles of milk on the wall ♪

♪ 99 bottles of milk ♪

♪ If one of them bottles happens to fall ♪

I guess this is "living life on the edge"?

Hmm, I'd call it major bad luck, dude.

I mean, we don't have money to call home

if we could find a pay phone that works.

P.J., I think our luck is about to change.

-Grab it!
-I'm trying!

[Max] There it goes, P.J.!

After it now! Grab it!

- [horns honking]
- [people yelling]

[panting]

Follow that truck!

[Max] I got it!

[P.J.] There it is!

We did it!

All right! Yeah!

-Hey!
-Give it back!

-Where'd it go?
-Wh-- Wh-- Whoa!

[both shouting]

[gasps] There it is!

-I got it! Whooa!
-Max!

What happened?

Max, look out!

-Max!
-[gulps]

Jump, Max!

Duck! Dodge! Ricochet!

Do something, Max!

Or I'm gonna have to! [gulps]

-I'm comin', Maxie!
-Ow!

Max, are you OK?

Nothing a quick trip home wouldn't fix.

Yeah, the educational
opportunities of the big city

have worn pretty thin.

I couldn't even hold onto that money.

Look at it this way, Maxie.

I mean, things sure can't
get much worse, right?

[thunderclaps]

There goes my future as a fortuneteller.

Come on, Peej!

Hey, what about your car?

It'll be there till tomorrow
morning's rush hour.

I'll pick it up then-- Taxi!

-Are you talking to me?
-Get us downtown and make it snappy!

Don't mind him. He's a little upset

because he let our kids go downtown alone.

-Get in, you big mouth!
-Oh, don't worry, pal.

Nothing gets me down
as long as the meter's running.

Heh heh heh heh!

[Pete and Goofy shouting]

[squeaking]

Where are we goin', Max?

[panting] I don't know.

This is the big city.

[Max] There's got to be
somewhere we can go.

-Isn't there?
-Gosh, Maxie.

Maybe we should find
a police officer, huh?

I mean you could call our folks for us,
and we could go home.

Yeah, but, well, I hate admitting
that this place is too much for us.

Hey, there's nothing wrong
with admitting it when you're in too deep.

Aw, you're right, Peej, But, uh...

[jazz music playing]

Wait a second!

You hear that music?

Yeah, so?

That's the sound of the big city.

Big city, huh?

Uh, you sure all these car exhausts
and smog aren't getting to be

A little too much for you, Max?

Come on, Peejster, follow me!

[sighs] OK. What else have I got to lose?

What did I tell ya, Peej?

I don't know, Max, what did you tell me?

This is what rainy nights
in the big city are all about.

Looks closed.

It sounds open to me,

and we get out of the rain.

Max, come on.

I have a very bad feeling about this, Max.

Just relax and enjoy the music.

If everything's so cool,
why are we whispering?

Uh, uh, we don't want to interrupt
the musicians, do we?

Good, that's good.

Don't! [coughing]

Ah... Ah... ah--

-Whew! Thanks.
-Shh!

Right, shh.

-Look!
-Yeah!

[jazz music playing]

Yeah!

[P.J.] Double yeah!

-Yeow!
-Shh!

Wh-- Wh-- What?

What are you two doin' here?

Hey, what's that you got, Spike?

I found these two kids snoopin'.

Oh, snoopin', huh?

Yah... eh... Come on, Max!

Ah-choo!

On your tails, man!

Haul buns, Peejster!

-Come on, faster!
-I'm trying!

-Now what?
-[whistling]

I think our luck is changing.

[whistling]

-All right!
-Let's go!

You know, that's the third
city hall we've passed

-in the last hour.
-What?

Hold on. Stop the cab.

[tires screech]

That'll be a mere $103.37, gentlemen.

We ain't paying, see?

You been driving us in circles
to run up your meter.

Oh, is that right? Is that right?

Is that right? Are you talking to me?

Well, I got something else for you.

I'm calling the cops, you welchers.

You're gonna get yours.
And I'm gonna get mine.

Come on, Peej. It went this way.

I'm sure it's in here somewhere.

-[meow]
-Aah!

-[meow]
-[Max] Aw, it's a kitten.

Yeah. It's probably looking for its mommy.

OK, let papa have the moola, mouse breath.

[meow]

[snarling]

Hi, mommy.

[screaming]

I'm going! I'm going!

Go faster!

[panting]

-[guitar music]
-Hey, Peej, listen.

♪ Yo, it's rainin' ♪

♪ Yeah, it's a-pourin' ♪

♪ Hmm ♪

Uh-oh.

Hey, boys, take a load off.

-Thanks.
-Thank you, sir.

And who might you be?

Uh, I'm Max, and he's P.J.

How ya doin'?

We-- We're in from Spoonerville

to, uh, soak up a little big city culture.

Buster vessel.

Pleased to make your acquaintance.

You want citified culture?

All right. I'm gonna sing a little song.

-Goes like this.
-[growling]

-Everyone's a critic.
-No, sir, you sing great, but--

But you need dinner
more than a tune right now.

Well, I know just the place.

Good food at reasonable prices.

Yeehah!

What now?

When in Rome...

Bon appetite, boys!

Eww!

Gross!

-Gawrsh!
-You said it.

Hmm, not quite home in Spoonerville, huh?

Well, it's not a life
anybody leads on purpose,

but we have discovered
something the hard way.

Most normal folks never have
the opportunity to find out.

Yeah? What's that?

To share what we've got with a grin.

You wouldn't believe how much
there is to go around

when people aren't afraid
to empty their pockets for one another.

Uh, will this help?

That's your bus fare
back to Spoonerville, huh?

-Yeah, but we want to help.
-Then go on home.

Stop cluttering up our streets.

But, Buster,
we really want to do something.

OK. Now that you've had
a taste the lifestyles

of the down-and-out, spread the word.

That'd be a big help.

Now run along home

before your parents
worry themselves to death.

-Thanks, Buster.
-Thank you. Thank you, man.

Um, this way, Peej.

Are you sure, Max?

'Cause I thought it was this way.

Oh, great. We're lost.

Oh, it doesn't really matter.

The last bus home left 12 minutes ago.

Well, could start walking

if we knew what direction to take.

What are you just standing
there for? Hop in, boys.

-All right!
-Cool!

All aboard for Buster's midnight express.

Ha ha!

Hang on, boys. Buster's on his way!

We've been huntin' high and low, Petey.

And not a sign of the boys.

-What'll we do now?
-Well, I have a great idea.

Why don't we just stand
right here in the middle of nowhere

till the boys come flouncin' by?

-[screaming]
-What the...

Help!

Petey, you're a genius.

Max! P.J.! Come back!

Never mind that now.
That weirdo's after the boys!

Mmm...

Help!

Oh, my. No seat belts.

-Now, that's against the law.
-[panting]

No car with no seat belts?

That's a crime wave.

-You got to help us!
-Our boys are in trouble.

Hey, hey, relax already. Anything
we can do to help you, you got it.

That's why we're police, you know.

Officer, stop those men!

So what do you want?

Those two guys owe me cab fare,
money, jack, moola.

Yeah? What two guys?

The two guys stealing your motorcycle.

-What?
-Goof, what are you doing?

He said he'd do anything to help.

This will help a lot! Hop on!

Come back with my motorcycle.

Follow that motorcycle.

[tires screeching]

-Come on, Buster! Faster!
-You can do it, man!

-Attaboy!
-Yeah. Way to go!

Thanks, boys.

Now all we have to do
is get this thing headed

In the right direction.

-[Buster grunts]
-Whoa!

Gawrsh!

Did you see who I saw on that motorcycle?

[both] Nah!

Wise guy, eh?
Well, two can play that game.

Whoa!

Come on! Step on it!

Excuse me? Are you talking to me?

Look out!

Whoa!

Whew!

[screaming]

Whoa!

Whew!

[gulp]

[screaming]

[crash]

I'm telling ya, Pete,

they're headed home.

That weirdo's forcin' the little spuds

to steal us blind.
It's the only explanation.

This stuff's gonna
be put to good use, boys. Believe you me.

What did I tell ya, Goofster?

-Dad!
-Gawrsh!

-Cut that out!
-Oh, boy!

Are we ever glad to see you guys.

Well, yeah, 'cause you--

-What?
-You were right, Mr. P.

The big city was jut where
we needed to go to appreciate the suburbs,

but please don't let us
ever go there alone again.

Alone? Well, I did... Huh?

Yes, sir. And we learned a lot
about helping and sharing.

And this is Buster. He helped us

'cause we're gonna help him,
'cause, like, you know,

that's the way it should be, sir.

But-- But-- But-- But...

Great pair of youngsters
you got there, Mr. P.

You sure have brought them up right.

Yeah, well, I can't take all the credit.

All right, don't anybody move.

Officer! Thank you so much
for lending us your motorcycle.

You saved the day.

I did? Yeah, huh. Of course I did.

That's what policemen do, you know.

[Taxi driver] Wait a second.
Hold on. Nobody move.

Aren't you going to arrest them
for not paying my fare?

According to your meter,

the ride I just took cost $1,200.

So your meter's either
out of order or ill*gal.

Now, which is it?

Out of order. Busted. Kaput. My mistake.
Forget the whole thing.

Great. Ah-hyuck!

Maybe you can drive buster Back to town
with all his stuff.

-Are you talking to me?
-He'd be glad to.

Ha ha ha! Absolutely.

Come on, Buster,
now you can carry lots more stuff.

Thank you, Goof. It's people like you

that help us know there's light
at the end of the tunnel.

Come on, Buster.

Well, there's only one thing to do.

[inhales]

I'm going back to bed.

♪ Gimme a beat ♪

[theme music playing]

Yeah!