01x64 - To Catch a Goof

[bunniefuu]

Ah-hyuck.

♪ H-h-h-hit it ♪

♪ Like father, like son ♪

♪ You're always number one ♪
yes!

♪ Best buddies, best pals ♪
♪ yeah ♪

♪ You always seem
to work things out ♪

♪ Can't you see
you're two of a kind ♪

♪ Lookin' for
a real good time? ♪

Whaa-ooo-h*-h*!

♪ A real good time ♪

♪ Report
to the goof troop ♪

♪ And we'll always
stick together ♪

♪ Always
stick together ♪

♪ We're the goof troop ♪

♪ The best of friends
forever ♪

♪ Side by side
wherever we go ♪

♪ We're always ready to roll ♪

♪ Now gimme a beat ♪

♪ We're the goof troop ♪

♪ And we always
stick together ♪

Gawrsh.
♪ We're the goof troop ♪

♪ The best of friends
forever ♪

♪ Now we're calling
everyone ♪

♪ Come along
and join the fun ♪

♪ Report to
the goof troop ♪

♪ La do be da bop
la ba do bop ♪

Yeah!

Pete: excuse me.

Peg: anybody for thirds?

As if I didn't know.

[Muttering]

Aw. No more muffins?

Peach pit, it's not
that it's my place to say,

But have you ever thought of
watching your weight?

I am-- [burp]--
excuse me.

I'm getting it
right out here

Where I can
keep an eye on it.

Ha ha!
Where's my muffins?

You ate your muffins,
all 12.

So I lost count.

Math was never
my strong subject anyway.

Darling, you have
got to learn

To say no to food some time.

Right after breakfast.

Oh, crumb cake,

Don't you have
any will power?

Will power?

Why, I've got the will power
of a rhinoramus.

Why, do you think I'm a sl*ve
to that flapjack? Ha!

I could go a month without
food if I wanted to--

Uh, two mo-- six months.

- A day?
- Ha!

Why, I could do a day
standing on--

You're not serious
about this, are you?

You want to bet?

Well, sure.

I'll bet anything you want,
anything you care to lose.

I bet you can't
go till midnight

Without feeding your face.

Well, if I do,
what do I win?

Oh, how about that
turbo-charged outboard motor

You've always wanted.

Deal! Ha ha!

This is gonna be easier

Than getting goof to paint
the fence. Ha ha ha!

Well, then you won't be
needing this, will you?

Oh, but--
but, love puddle, i--

I-- ooh,

Of course not.

That mouth-wateringly
delicious breakfast

Doesn't mean a thing to me.

Ahem.

[Muttering]

And you won't be needing

These chocolate-covered
raisins

Or this salt water taffy

Or these potato chips,
corn dog,

Choco bar,
choco bar with nuts,

Choco bar with nuts
and raisins,

Toaster waffle, meatloaf,

Weenies, diet cola,
no-diet cola,

No original diet cola,

Cheesecake, chicken,
chicken cheesecake,

Pork rinds, fig bars,

- And--
- [squish]

A jar of library paste?

I got the habit
in kindygarten.

Well, dinner will
be served at midnight,

Just a waist-slimming

Till then,
no cheatskies.

[Giggling]

reporter: meanwhile,
on the local scene,

spoonerville police
still have no clues

to the big boy bandit,

a hefty light-finger artist

who has burglarized
a dozen homes.

citizens should be prepared

to protect their property.

Ah-hyuck! I'm sure gonna be.

man, on cassette:
ahem. How to be a ninja.

ah, the ninja:

protector of property,

defender of the downtrodden,

champion of law and order.

Ah-hyuck! That's me.

lesson 1: donning
the ninja costume.

Ah-hyuck!

the costume
should fit snugly,

protecting hands,
feet, and face,

while allowing unrestricted
movement of the extremities.

the tight fit emphasizes

the graceful form
of the ninja

and the fluid,
ballet-like quality

of his movements.

it allows him to move
quietly, undetected,

silent as a leaf floating
gently to the ground.

Aah-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

[Crash]

[Bouncing]

there.

aren't you
an imposing figure?

Ooh! Down, boy.

Just two hours to lunch.

Of course, we don't
get to eat lots,

Which leaves eight hours till
we don't get to eat dinner.

Ooh! Will power! That's it.

I have plenty of will power.

But to power your will,
you need food.

Uh, what say we get
your mind off of food?

freeway lanes
were blocked

when the truck
jackknifed,

spilling 3 tons
of chocolate eclairs

all over the--

delicious honey glazed ham

is on sale,
only $9.98 a pound.

look at these barbecued
chickens from our deli,

Just dripping with delicious--

now we spread the icing
over the top,

add oodles
of whipped cream,

and ooh la la, isn't
that just delic--

our famous all-you-can-eat

steak and lobster
dinner, only--

blueberry pie.

double fudge--

- char-broiled--
- extra cheese!

- all you can eat.
- all you can eat.

all you can eat.

[Screaming]

Pete. Oh, pete.

We're here for you, pete.

Don't forget the ice cream.

Potato chips.

Will power!

Pj: dad!

Duhh!

Are you okay?

Did you lose something?

Oh! Pj! p*stol!

You got to help me!

I'm on a diet, see?

But your ma is beaming
subcriminal messages
into my brain

To break
my will power, see?

So you got to help me
even the odds.

So make sure I don't eat
anything until midnight

And, uh...and there's new
bikes in it for both of you.

You know,

This could be good.

Okay now,
you're the burglar.

Go ahead. And just try

And make off
with the family silver.

[Sigh] okay, dad.

[Humming]

What the-- a burglar!

Stop, thief. I warn you,

I've been studying karaoke.

Yee-ha ha!

Yow!

Dad, you ninjaed
the fridge.

What are we gonna do
with all this food?

Ah-hyuck. Nothing to do

But eat it before it spoils.

["Indian love call"]
♪ we are calling pete ♪

[Clucking]

♪ 'Cause we're good to eat ♪

No outboard motor's
worth this!

Food!

[Alarm blares]

[Groaning]

They can't keep me
out of my own cupboards.

Oh, mama.

[Whimpering]

Guess I'll just have to
sleep through my hunger.

Aw, I was going to bed
in another five hours anyway!

Mm-mm!

- Mm-hmm.
- [Panting]

Ohh!

Aah!

Pete: ow.

What did-- who did--

Huh?

Dad's awfully quiet
up there.

You think
he's really asleep?

You don't think
he'd try to find

The halloween candy
we hid, do you?

Both: yes!

[Snoring]

Yeesh. No wonder mom always
wants earplugs for christmas.

Heh heh heh.

You're class, baby,
the high kind.

[Grunting]

Whew.

Okay.
Potato chip pantry?

Check.

- Refrigerator?
- Safe as fort knox.

Candy cupboard.

Allow me to deministerate.

Both: yes!

Uh, excuse me,

But what are you guys
doing?

We're helping dad stay
on his diet, mom.

And man, is he
a munch monster.

He said he'd buy us new bikes
if we kept him from eating.

So we got the whole
kitchen booby trapped.

Hmm. The will power
of a rhinoramus, huh?

Bribing his own kids, huh?

Oh, come here.

I got an idea how to
really trap that booby.

Ohh...

Huh?

Mmm.

You go ahead, dad.
I'm stuffed.

Ohh. Me, too.

Come on. Let's go to bed.

Boy, it's a shame
pete's on a diet.

I'd give the rest
of this stuff to him.

Ah.

What's that?

Somebody's
in the kitchen.

[Gasp] it's the burglar.

Get in your room
and call the police, max.

Block the door and don't come
down till the coast is clear.

This ninja's got work to do.

Talk about your home security.

Well, don't mind if I do.

[Snap]

Aah!

[Click]

Oh h* h*!

Cheating on your diet, eh?

Hand in the old
cookie jar, eh?

Well, we caught--

- You?
- Hand over that
picture, lady.

Eww! How did dad get so ugly?

Pj, p*stol, call the cops.


The cops?

Peg: oh! Nice work, g*ng.

But we-- I haven't even--

[Police sirens]

- [Chomp]
- huh?

[Shouting]

Ooh. You're gonna love
this one.

[Shouting]

[Sword unsheathed]

Huh?

Mm-yah!

Yah!

[Clatter]

That's it, dad.
Give it to him.

[Shouting]

Now, chainsaw, take that
nasty thing out of your mouth.

You don't know where it's been.

[Shouting]

[Police siren]

- What?
- What?

And it was only a sandwich.

[Siren blaring]

All right!

Dad! They got him!

Hey, dad! I bet you
they give you a medal!

Dad!

Dad?

[Muttering]

This can't be
the big house.

It's got to be
my stomach juices

Are causing me
to hallucinacking

As part of my starvering.

- My own neighbor, a burglar.
- [Mumbling]

Caught red-handed with
his own wife's jewelry.

But-- but I only took
a sandwich.

[Gasp]
you were swiping food

From the mouths
of your own family?

No, it was your family!

What? Not satisfied
to burgle your kin.

You got to prey on
your neighbors, too?

But I was starving!

Aw, petey.

Why didn't you tell me?

I-- I didn't know.

Poverty drove you
to it, huh?

Poverty drove--

You swivel-headed gherkin!

The real burglar got away,
and they busted us by mistake!

You mean we're innocent?

Bingo!

Why, this is a tapestry
of justice,

A violation
of habeas corpuscle!

Where's the judge?

We want to see our senator!

- We--
- [footsteps]

Who ordered the six pizzas,

Dozen mongo burgers,
and a chocolate shake?

Me! Me! Me! Me!

Gimme! Gimme! Mm-mm.
Yum yum. Eat 'em up!

Ooh, to think I almost wasted
my phone call on a lawyer.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

No! We're not eating a bite

Till we're pardoned
by the president.

- What?
- Hunger strike!

Hunger strike! Hunger strike!

- Waah!
- Hunger strike! Hunger strike!

Hunger strike! Hunger strike!

[Sobbing]

Pj: dad.

Dad!

Peg: I found him.

He escaped.

While we're out
fighting crime,

He's out getting a hamburger.

[Doorbell rings]

[Sigh] probably the cops
wanting a statement.

Hey, is my dad here?

No, max,
but check it out.

Mom aced the big boy burglar
right in our kitchen!

Huh? No way.

My dad ninjaed the dude
in our kitchen.

Your dad's a ninja? Cool!

Ours just ears.

well, spoonerville's
sleeping safer tonight

after police busted
the big boy bandit

and his ninja accomplice.

the burglar was
heard shouting

"send me to san quentin
as long as there's food,"

while his ninja sidekick
would only comment, quote,

"hyuck hyuck, ah-hyuck."

All: oh, no.

Burglar: oh, yeah.

Cops busted
the wrong guys, huh?

Too bad.

So what do you want?

Come back for
the rest of my jewelry?

No. The picture
you took of me.

Think I want anybody
to know what I look like?

Oh, why, pj, how thoughtful.

[Giggle]

Oh, that's nice.

Work with me, baby.
Oh, love the attitude.

Let me see those beady eyes.
Good. Turn. Good.

No! Stop it! Whoa!

Give me that.

Ole! Ha ha!

Catch!

Oh, mr. Burgurgler!

Over here!

No. Over here.

Here. Ha ha ha ha!

Give me a profile, baby.

- Mr. Burglar!
- No! Stop!

[Whimpering]

If I can get a stamp,
I'm writing my congressman.

This here's a clear-cut case
of mistaken identifiables.

This here's a violation of
the constitutional amendment

Of the land of the free

♪ And the home of the braves ♪

Ah-hyuck!

Mm!

Ooh, yummy.

Okay.

Hey!

Now, petey, no food.

We got to stick
to our principles.

Huh?

Mmm.

Jailbreak!

- [Muttering]
- nyaah nyaah nyaah nyaah!

Uh-oh.

[Shouting]

Give me 16 of everything.

Sorry. We're closed.

Aah!

Food! Food! Glorious food.

Something's got to be open!

Why, you...

Fire!

Whoa!

Basement floor.
Spiders and cobwebs.

Ow!

Squad! Outside!

Closed?

Closed!

Closed! Aah!

Give it up, pete.

Only kitchen that's open
this time of night

Is at your house.

My house?

My house.

My house. My house.

My house. My house!

[Sirens]

What in the world?

No, petey, no!

Down, boy! Down!

Pop! It's the burglar!

He tried to wipe us out!

Oh, he did, did he?

[Ninja shouts]

[Panting]

Gotta...get...the pictures.

Oh, no.

Yee...

Ha!

Whoa!

This way, officers.

Come along, you.

It'll be a nice,
quiet cell, won't it?

Where I'll be safe
from them? Huh?

[Whimpering]

Ooh! Aah!

[Whimpering]

Our apologies for
the mistaken identity.

You're free to go.

No, dad, wait.

One more minute,
and you'll win the bet.

Think of your turbo-charged
outboard motor.

Think of our new bikes!

Think of your will power!

Will p-p-p-power?

[Grumbling]

I...i can--

I can-- i...

Cannot stand it!

I want food! Food!

Glorious, succulent food!

Yes!

Well, what do you know.

He made it.

Yes!

Oh, mama.

Hold the onions.