02x04 - Into-Me-You-See

[bunniefuu]

[♪ "Wild Animals" by Liv.e playing]

[Paige Alexander] I think I'm gonna
start making photo albums again

because it's just fun
to have all these memories.

No, it's not.
I'm not in any of these.

Look at this,
remember when everybody was goth?

This is blackmail material for Aunt Esti.

- And you.
- What?

Mm, look at my baby girl.

Were you out or in then?

Don't you remember
I did your hair that day?

Look at those twists.

You think white folk can do that?

- No.
- Okay.

So you would take the photo,
but you wouldn't see it for months?

Yeah, and when you
finally got them back,

they were terrible,
and you would feel awful,

but then you would go
and get a disposable camera

and start the whole process
all over again.

Well, it sounds like
there were less d*ck pics.

- [Paige] Yeah.
- Yeah, they just had to be tasteful, man.

What?

Did-Did I say that?

- No, I didn't, I didn't say that.
- [Finn snickering]

So, why you goin' all
"Live, Laugh, Love"?

Uh, well, I heard from
an old friend from college, Kiki,

and I don't know,
it just got me in a reminiscing mood.

Hey, here's baby me and my dad.

What?!
Let me see.

- Oh, look at this adorable baby.
- [Edwin Alexander] Let me see it.

Finneas Alexander,
you were a handsome baby.

- Stop it.
- [Edwin] You were. Here, here.

[Finn Alexander]
Where was this?

Uh, I think it was
at our old place on Garfield?

Yeah, he used to give you baths.

- He did?
- Yeah, when he was home.

- How often was that?
- [inhales] Not often.

Dad, look, I found one of you.

- Ooh! That jacket was so fly.
- [Paige] Look at that. Look.

- He hasn't changed.
- Oh, man. Sookie-sookie now.

Uh, uh, uh.

- [Paige] What?
- You know people don't have respect

- for turquoise the way they used to.
- I think that's teal.

Finn, what color is that?

- Okay, okay.
- Turquoise!

- Let's just say it's turquoise.
- What color is it?

- Turquoise.
- Gaslight Mom.

-"Gaslight Mom"?
- Let's gaslight her some more.

- Kiki-from-college Kiki?
- [Paige] Yeah, yeah.

Wants to see you?
You guys were obsessed.

I know. Did you ever have
an instant best friend like that?

- Yeah, you.
- No, come on, that doesn't count.

- We're related.
- Rude.

From the moment I met Kiki
in line at Coffman Union,

we spent every minute together,
we told each other everything.

We knew every word to every Prince song.

- [Esti Nelson] Mm.
- I never told you this,

but one night, we almost kissed.

How did you never tell me this?

Well, because there's nothing
to tell, you know?

I basically freaked out and ran off,

and then I sorta
stopped talking to her.

- Wow, you invented ghosting?
- Oh, I did.

She was probably so mad at me.

What if this is part
of her 20-year revenge plan?

That stuff happens.

No, now she is a big-time editor,

and she thinks that I could sell
a book about relationships.

You mean, like,
Dating with Daddy Issues?

Oh, that's actually really good.

How about f*cking Without Fallacies?

- No.
- Or should it be "Fellatio"?

- Please stop.
- I got it, I got it.

- Trusting While Thrusting.
- You need to stop talking.

[♪ gentle, upbeat music playing]

[sighs]
Looks nice.

Man, if you see who puttin'
their foot up on this table,

you need to tell me.

I thought you were against snitches.

I don't snitch, but you can.

[laughs]

Look, Edwin, I need to let you know
one of your associates got popped, Sadiiq.

Well, now, Mal, I don't fool
with those n*gg*s anymore, man.

You know that.

Alright. Well, I'm glad
'cause he's got a situation.

- [sighs] For what?
- Conspiracy to distribute.

I said, man,
I don't fool with those dudes.

Mal, I... don't need to hear this.

Okay.

[♪ gentle music playing]

[sniffs, grunts]

[sighing]

Hi, sweet angel, ya good?

No. I would be if I knew how to solve
the differential for cosine X.

The only math you'll ever need
is how to tip 22%

and that's hard enough.

Mm, mm!
You were so cute.

He's so Johnny.

Not really there.

Is it weird that I barely know him?

You know, I know nothing
about the people who had sex,

got pregnant,
then dropped me off at an orphanage.

Though I do wonder about their teeth.
My teeth were jacked before braces.

That's really all you know
about your real parents?

Yeah, my parents are like UFOs.

I know they exist,
I just don't have proof.

Damn, that sucks.

Well, I joined a Facebook group
of other Korean adoptees

who know what it's like
when you're with your family

and you get mistaken
for a foreign exchange student,

so... should we find a group for you?

Yeah, Sons of Dads Who Don't Care.

Hey, he cares.

He dedicated his one good album to you.

In the liner notes?

Do you even know what liner notes are?

No, I don't.

Oh, your generation was robbed.

What are the liner--

- [Esti] Yeah, google it.
- What are they?

[Kiki] And then the algorithm
served me your TED Talk

and I imagined how much trouble
you probably had deciding

between that dress and a blue one.

Kiki, you still know me so well.

[gasps] Do you still have magazines
with nail polish on the back?

Of course, I mean,
I don't wanna get nail polish on my table.

[both laughing]

[sighs]
God, I'm so proud of you.

- Oh.
- You're a big deal!

No, I'm like a medium deal at best.
[laughs]

[Kiki]
I went deep on your Insta,

and not only are you still
the most compelling person I've ever met,

you're really helping people.

Okay, so, to that end,
I do have a possible book idea.

It's Dating with Daddy Issues.

Oh, my God,
my favorite chapter's going to be,

"I've Never Had a One-Night Stand"?

Ew, of course not.
I still haven't.

I mean, I don't wanna
wake up in some stranger's bed.

- When was the last time...
- [both] ...he washed the sheets?!

- Exactly!
- [both laughing]

[deep breath]
It's really good to see you.

Okay, I feel like I need to apologize.

- For what?
- It was crazy the way I just ran

- outta that room when--
- When we almost kissed?

- Right.
- Oh, my God, stop,

we were so young and wrinkle-free,

and high off of a Chumbawamba show.

I think maybe I was afraid to learn

something about myself
that I didn't wanna know.

You were repressed
and you couldn't deal with it.

Yeah.

I actually understood.

I still missed you.
Maybe a lot.

How long are you in town?

Thursday. My husband
has to get back to New York.

Now, I saw him on your Insta.
He's so cute.

We're open.

Oh, oh, okay, oh!
[giggles]

What are you doing later?

It's a Honeyed Alabama Chicken...

- Hm. [gasps]
- ...yam puree, and collard green salad.

- Wow!
- Bam!

Oh, oh, uh, the chicken's hot,
just give it a minute.

When are you gonna
actually start cooking for a living?

Oh, trust me, ma. [sighs]
I'm tryin' right now just to put

- some things together, you know?
- Good, because it's the second-best thing

you're good at.

And the first-best thing I'm good at is...

That would be ill*gal,
everywhere but the state of Nevada.

I need a favor, Nadine.

- Uh-oh.
- No, i-it's nothin' bad.

- Fox's nephew caught a case.
- Don't ask me to do anything sketchy.

I'm just tryna find out
what the DA has on him.

- I really would rather not.
- [softly] Uh, oh, okay. Okay.

I mean, don't you think
it might look a little strange

for a director in the mayor's office
to be calling the DA about some drug case?

I'm not trying to jeopardize
anything, Nadine.

I swear to God I'm not.
It's just a phone call.

I'm trying to turn
this thing around, Nadine.

You know I am.

[♪ "Love Won't Let Me Wait"
by Major Harris playing]

♪ I see the morning sun
creep through your windowpane ♪

♪ That love won't let me wait ♪

Okay, I'll do it.

But only because that is the best thing
I've ever put in my mouth.

Thank you, baby.

Well, the second-best thing.

[chuckles]
Oh.

Hello, 1999.

Hey, Dad.

You seeing what I'm seeing?
He's hiding somethin'.

No, no, he-he just looked at his phone.

You know when this man
is being legally dubious.

And right now,
he's being dubious as hell.

- I don't see that.
- PTSD will do that.

So, we know how this goes.

- First, he's preoccupied...
- [Edwin inhales]

then he'll be all upbeat.

Hey, baby girl, how was your day?

It was fine.

Then he'll be all sentimental.

You know I love you, right, Paige?

Whoop, there it is!

Okay, you're gonna let me
handle this like an adult, okay?

- Dad.
- Yeah, baby.

Um... are you sure
that everything's okay?

Because right now
you're doing what you do

- when you're doing something wrong.
- Whoa, what?

No. No, no, no, no, no. No!
I don't care, it's fine.

[clears throat]
Nope!

Whoa, baby girl.
I--

- [Paige] I had lunch with Kiki.
- [Esti] Yeah?

It was just like college.

She asked to see me tonight and I ran.

Wow, I didn't know
you were such a Flo-Jo.

- A what?
- Yeah, a runner. R-- Flo-Jo's a runner.

Okay, so, I think
that I might be afraid

to go there with her,
like, go there go there,

because she's great,
I feel very pulled toward her.

But what does that mean?
Am I a l*sbian? Am I bi?

But wouldn't I know that by now?

Does she make you tingle down there?

I mean, maybe, I don't know.
I-I-I wanna be in her energy.

Do you look at her boobs
when you're talking to her?

- I mean, they're there, I see them, right?
- Mm-hm.

I see the boobs,
but it's not about the boobs, right?

I-I, I feel like I need
to learn something here.

Like, no, I don't wanna be
in a relationship with her,

but I do want to...
What? No, no, oh, no, no, no.

I need to figure out this part of myself.

What if all of your relationship problems

were just that you were having sex
with the wrong sex?

Honestly, that would be a relief.

I wish I was a l*sbian.
I just like ba*ls too much.

See, now, ba*ls stress me out.

I should text her.

Yeah, ya should.

- I should? Really?
- Mm-hm.

I should text her?

- Okay. If you're gonna...
- Oh, my gosh.

...be with a woman,

- we gotta get you one of these.
- What?

Oh, no, what is that?
I don't-- What do I do with that?

It's not complicated,
you just strap it on and thrust.

You've used one of those?

What?
Why would you not tell me this?

Mm, I guess we're even.

[Edwin]
Thanks a lot, man.

[Fox]
There he is.

Hey, Fox.

- Think I'm wearin' a wire?
- You think I'm wearing a wire?

Hell no.

f*ck no.

How's your nephew doing?

- I haven't heard.
- I heard three cop cars pulled up.

Yeah, m*therf*ckers ruined my grass.

He wouldn't cooperate, now would he, Fox?

- Honestly?
- Yeah, honestly.

Who knows, man?

f*ck you mean, "Who knows?"

You got my freedom on the line
with folk I can't trust, man?

- Man, it's not my fault.
- What?

You know these
young people are different.

- I-I'ma disappear for a minute.
- But I can't do that, Fox!

I got a family, I got a whole life, man!

That's why you go!

- You wanna wreck that?
- Okay...

this what I know.

I picked up a car in Alabama
and I dropped it off in Minneapolis,

and I don't know nothin' else about it.

It was just a car.

I don't need to run.

Up to you, Edwin.

Up to you.

Ain't nobody around here.
You need a ride?

No, no, no, I'm good.
You go 'head.

[Fox sighs]

I don't know where the f*ck I am.

- [Esti knocks]
- Come on!

Hi, I'm going full-force aunt today.

- Why you being so weird?
- I have something for you.

No way.

Is that my dad's album?

The good one, yep.

Oh, this is crazy, thank you.

Yeah, well... I know what it's like.

If my birth parents had an album,
I'd probably want a copy too, so.

But not sure if your mom
should know about this,

so... I'm leaving it up to you.

♪

Hi.

Hey.

And so, there he was, you know,
all of a sudden, my dad living with me.

I can't even imagine how overwhelming
that was, on every level.

Yeah, my brain was flooded
with the cortisol and adrenaline,

and I, I could barely think straight.

I mean, that's a book.

Yes, that's my book.

- Right?
- Yes!

- [both laughing]
- Well, how's your son doing?

- Um, he's anxious...
- Mm.

...but he loves having my dad around.

They have this dude bond
that I do not understand.

Well, maybe your dad
isn't always talking about feelings.

[laughs]
Yes, I am still like that.

Oh, and you should be, and I'm glad.

[chuckles]

Is it just me or are we here
in the exact situation

you ran away from 22 years ago?

It is not just you.

I didn't think so.

♪

So what am I gonna do this time?

What are you gonna do?

♪

♪ You know
you're making it hard for me ♪

♪ Baby, us dancing so close ♪

♪ Ain't a good idea ♪

♪ 'Cause I'ma want you now and here ♪

♪ The way that you shake it on me ♪

♪ Makes me want you so bad sexually ♪

♪ Oh girl... ♪

Well?

Would it be okay
if I used the bathroom?

- Sure. Yeah.
- You sure?

- Super quick.
- Okay.

Super quick.
I'll be right back.

♪

- [shower curtain whooshes]
- Ah!

We are embarrassingly cis-hetero.

- Mm-hm.
- But you knew that.

There's still something about her
that just makes me feel so seen.

Hello?
There's a whole word for that.

- What?
- Intimacy.

- Intimacy?
- Into-Me-You-See.

Oh. Oh! [gasps]

- Like, Into-Me-You-See?
- Yeah.

I've never heard that one.

Of course, you have. I'm you.

- Right.
- Yeah.

Okay, so, what we're saying is
I don't want Kiki.

I mean, I do, I do, I want Kiki,
but make it a man.

Well, I want a Blow Pop
without gum in the middle,

- but you can't have everything you want.
- [shower curtain whooshes]

- [♪ mellow music playing]
- I feel like I could get that for you.

Okay, here's the thing,

- I did really want to kiss you...
- W--

...but I'm not into women,
which I think I already knew,

but what I am into is intimacy.

Paige, this is my husband, Miguel.

Y-- W-- Oh.

♪

I can never do that for you again,
do you understand?

It put me in a terrible spot!

Okay, I'm sorry,
but I needed to know, baby.

- I-- And I thank you.
- Okay.

Well, the good news is
Sadiiq isn't gonna take a plea bargain.

- Okay.
- But that doesn't mean that he won't.

Right.

[quietly]
Right, right. Right.

- So what are you gonna do?
- I don't know.

You know, normally this is
right where I disappear,

but I don't know, Nadine.

Well, as someone who's been
on the receiving end of you disappearing,

all I'll say is: it hurts.

[♪ soft music playing]

[Edwin]
Hey.

You're just... very miss-able.

Woman, you did just fine without me.

- Yeah, I did.
- I-- Yeah, I know. [chuckles]

But still...
there is only one you, Edwin.

♪

There's no one else I'd rather be
in a... situationship with.

- [video recorder beeps]
- [Paige] Hey, everybody.

So, I've been on social media
Ozempic for a minute,

and I've been thinking about
why am I making these videos?

Is it for me? Is it for you?
And the answer is: yes, both.

Because I think healing in public
helps me heal,

and I think it helps you heal too,
wherever you are.

So, speaking of healing,

this week, I got some unexpected
healing from the past

because the past slid into my DMs.

And here's what I learned:

being willing to look at the past

actually helps us make sense
of who we really are.

And when we can see who we are,

other people can start
to really see you too,

and that's what we all want, right?

To see and be seen
by the people who matter the most.

♪

- Hey.
- Hey.

Oh, my, um, dad said
he would be a minute.

- How's Ava?
- She's good.

- We're good.
- Oh! Good.

- Yeah, yeah. Mm-hm.
- Good.

Edwin told me about family therapy.

I bet it's bringin' up a lot.

Yeah, but it's not a bad "a lot."

I mean, it's working.
You look more open and lighter.

- Oh.
- Even more than usual.

- Really?
- Mm-hm.

Wow, [chuckles]
I guess I'm just figuring sh*t out.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

- For seeing me.
- Mm.

- [♪ mellow music playing]
- [Mal clears throat]

- [Paige] Hey.
- [Edwin] Hey.

What's goin' on?

I'm just... takin' in everything I missed.

- Time is a b*tch.
- [slight chuckle]

[Edwin exhales]

[Paige]
Hm.

- Dad?
- Yeah.

I'm really sorry that
I freaked out on you before.

I just have these
well-traveled neural pathways

and... they were telling me
that you were up to something.

And I think, in the past,
I wouldn't have...

asked you directly because what if
you said something that terrified me.

But I really want to know.

So... [inhales] do you have
something you need to tell me?

Sadiiq got arrested, Paige.

And I thought he was gonna...
take me down with him.

Don't look at me like that, baby, please.
[sighs]

- Did you do something bad?
- I didn't think so.

"Think" implies doubt.

When we went to Alabama, I did a job.

Oh, wow.

I drove a car for Fox.

Whoa.
[nervous chuckle]

Uhh...

you lied to us?

I was trying to help you fix the roof.

Oh, God, I, I don't know
how to feel about that.

Fox is getting ready to leave town.
He told me I need to do the same thing.

But I ain't goin', Paige.

I ain't goin' anywhere.

I'm stayin' right here.

Thank you for telling me the truth.

You cannot keep things from me.

And I won't, baby...

ever again.

[softly]
Okay.

- [Finn knocks]
- Hey.

Hey.
Can I use your record player?

Yes, you can.

What you got there?

- You wanna play that?
- Mm-hm.

He has that one song,
it's in that annoying asthma commercial.

[Edwin laughing]

But I kinda just wanna hear
the whole thing, so.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Did you know him?
My dad?

Little bit.

Here, let me play that for you.

[Finn]
I reached out to him.

Your dad?
Is that, is that right?

Yeah.

And... he texted me back.

And how did that feel?

I'm not sure.

But, um, if you could just...
not tell my mom.

♪

[Edwin]
Okay.

♪ A lot can happen in one year ♪

♪ One day you're happy floating on air ♪

♪ The next day
your whole closet's full of tears ♪

♪

♪ Through the highs
and through the lows ♪

- ♪ In the darkness, find your home ♪
- [chuckles]

♪ I'll be there,
no matter where you are ♪

♪ Hey! Take one breath ♪

♪ Before you leave ♪

♪ I'll show you off ♪

♪ Be a part of my dreams ♪

♪ Hey! Feel the air ♪

♪ And find your peace ♪

♪ Breathe and believe ♪

♪ Breathe and believe ♪

♪ Hey!
You know you gotta be yourself ♪

♪ 'Cause you'll never be nobody else ♪

♪ You know you gotta be yourself ♪

♪ Hey! Oooh... ♪

♪ You know you gotta be yourself ♪

♪ 'Cause you'll never be nobody else ♪

♪

[spray paint can hissing]

[speaker]
Woo-hoo!