02x07 - PTCD Christmas Carole

[bunniefuu]

[♪ "Christmas in Hollis"
by Run-DMC playing]

♪

[video recording starts]

Supposedly, it is the most
wonderful time of the year,

but not for everyone, right?

Some people, like me,

experience the holidays
as this endless loop

of the same irritating songs,

and then, forced gift-giving.

And then, suddenly,
everything is peppermint-flavored,

which is a massive step down
from pumpkin spice, right?

If your sugar plum is
a little more sour than sweet,

it's okay, you don't even
have to know why,

you can opt out of Christmas.

Be Christmas neutral.

No matter what anybody says,
there is no wrong way to do Christmas.

First free Christmas in 17 years.

Oh, I'm doin' this right.

I'm doin' this right.

- Paige.
- Yep.

Nobody should work on Christmas Eve.

Why not?
It's the perfect time to work.

My phone doesn't ring,
I don't have to be anywhere,

I can crank out my book proposal
and my invoicing.

[singsongy]
♪ 'Tis the season to do billing ♪

You've been in that office nonstop.

- Take a break.
- Yes, Dad, because, now,

I finally have more clients again,
which means I have more clients again.

If somebody denied you Christmas
for almost two decades,

you'd understand why it means--
it's so--

- Hyped?
- No, special, special.

I'm doin' five courses, y'all.
All hits... no skips.

- [Paige Alexander] Okay.
- Did I get that right?

- You did, you did.
- Okay.

How's that, Grandpa?
Is that too much?

Oh, honey, don't worry,
we are, like, 10 sets

of Christmas lights past "too much."

No, no, no, no, never too much.

[singsongy]
♪ Never too much, never too much ♪

Just like Luther said.
[laughs]

- Also, my dad's coming.
- Oh.

- Oh, what, what?
- Yeah. Yeah, he texted me last night.

- Really?
- [Edwin Alexander] You know what?

Good for Johnny.
I didn't think he had it in him.

[Finn Alexander] He said he's gonna
bring one of his old guitars for me.

That could be pretty cool.

Whatever he brings,
we gon' be ready for him.

And Carole, and Esti, and Mal.

- Mal is coming?
- Yeah, y'all are friends now, right?

Okay. That's great, Dad,
because now I have to go upstairs

and put on hard pants.

So now, your great-grandmama,
she'd bake up a batch of gingerbread,

and we'd put it together,
then we'd listen to Nat King Cole.

Mama loved Nat King Cole.

- Is that like Good King Wenceslas?
- Nat was a real king, right?

Anyway, I thought you might wanna use
that Lego builder brain of yours

to just... build a...
gingerbread somethin'.

Can we make it snow?

- Huh?
- Yeah, it's our Christmas tradition.

We eat pizza,
and then we watch Zoolander,

and then it snows.

- Pizza for Christmas.
- [doorbell rings]

Your mama has really
been missin' her daddy.

- [door opens]
- [Esti Nelson] Hello?!

- Oh, let me--
- [Esti] Anyone home? Hello?

Hey, hey.

- [laughs] Hey.
- [Esti speaking Korean]

Right back at you.

- [Carole laughs]
- Carole, where's, uh, where's Pastor?

Getting ready for his Candlelight Sermon.

He has hearts to shepherd.

Okay, here you go, sistergirl.

- [Carole Nelson] Aw.
- Now, Carole, I had one of these for you,

but that hat looks beautiful on you.

Oh, thank you.

Hey, how do I look? Bad?

- [Carole chuckles]
- Fabulous.

Edwin, it's just so special.

I never thought we'd see a Christmas
when you were out of prison.

Well, we, uh, we gotta
count our blessings, Carole.

- Yes, we do.
- Is Paige hiding from Christmas?

No, no, no, she just finishin' somethin'.

She'll be down after a while.

Oh, she's such a hard worker.

And a Grinch.

- Anyone want some Soju?
- Oh, Korean wine.

Esti is getting in touch with her roots...

- Mm.
- ...which I fully support.

Better late than never.

[♪ "What Christmas Means to Me"
by The Coasters playing]

[group chattering downstairs]

♪ Oh, yeah... ♪

Now, it's just about the fixin's, see.

Hey, um, sistergirl, top me up, would you?

Oh, Mom, I'd offer you some,

but I know alcohol is
in the same category

as playing cards
and takin' the Lord's name in vain.

Maybe next lifetime.

[Carole clears throat]

- Hey, Carole?
- [Carole] Hm?

She, she didn't, she didn't
mean to be so, um--

Look, I understand.

Uh, you know,
when a child loses a parent,

even temporarily, they have a wound,

and my job is to be a witness,

as the Lord is my witness.

You know, the Lord,
He walks with ya, Carole,

and I can't ever thank you enough.

You took really special care
of my little girl while I was away.

Hey, let me check this bird.

- Oh. Dang, man.
- What?

- It's not stayin' hot.
- Oh, dear.

This thing's been givin'
me problems all week.

So, what I did was,
I made a back-up plan.

I'ma check the tracking number right here.

- Nothin' is gonna spoil this Christmas.
- [Carole] Mm.

Nothin'.

[♪ "Deck the Halls" by Stan Reynolds
and His Orchestra playing]

[groans]

[Little Paige] [sings]
♪ Fa, la, la, la, la, ♪

- ♪ La, la, la, laaa ♪
- No, oh, no. Shh.

Why are you yelling at me?

You're sleeping on Christmas.

[sighs]
We are Christmas neutral, remember?

We don't care one way or another.

I have something you need to see.

Hey, everybody, so, it's me.

I'm back with an InstaLive.

[chuckles]
So, I just wanted to-- [coughing]

Mm.

Ooh, I just wanted to update you

that I will not be having
a fancy dinner after all

because my new boyfriend
is having dinner with his kids,

and newsflash, his ex-wife.

So, tonight, as long as
I have my wine...

I'm fine. [weak laugh]

Oh, that's awful.

- Mm-hm.
- I'm just gonna keep cycling

through bad boyfriends until I die?

I mean, you could die alone.

- Whoosh!
- [doorbell rings]

Hello.

Hope you don't mind I'm here.
Your dad--

Doesn't take no for an answer?
I'm aware.

- Come on in.
- Alright.

Welcome to Edwin's holiday festivities.

Wow. He really is makin' up
for 17 years of prison Christmas.

Yep, everything is twinkle lights
and key lime pie, okay.

- He is binging, I'm purging.
- Wait, you're barfin' Christmas?

No, I mean, I'm not "bah humbug"
but I'm kinda "nah humbug."

Havin' everyone you love in one place is--

- Oh, I thought Ava was in Ohio.
- She is. I meant you.

- What?
- I meant-- I mean,

you have everyone you love,
you know, in-in one place.

- That I love. That I-- Yeah, right.
- You.

- Not you, right?
- Not me.

No, of course,
that's what you meant, yeah.

- That's great, so, yeah.
- Mm-hm.

Oh, poor little Rudolph.

They call him names
until they need him for something.

- [Edwin] Mm-hm, right?
- That's true.

Yet just another example of how Christmas
has wandered too far from the Lord.

Uh, just a reminder,
Christmas started out as a pagan holiday.

[sings]
♪ Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

- Hey.
- Ebenezer!

- Hi. Hi!
- Oh, Merry Christmas, dear!

Oh, yes, yes, and the happy
and the merry stuff.

- [Mal Kennedy] Yes.
- I appreciate you makin' it, man.

Happy to be here.

I know how important this is to you, so.

- [Edwin] Thank you, man.
- [Mal] Yeah.

- [Edwin] Babygirl.
- Yes?

- [Edwin] You, uh, you done with work, no?
- Nope, not yet.

Look here, take a break,

we're sharing Christmas stories,
you're up.

Oh, no, I don't have a Christmas story.

Everyone has a Christmas story.

We just spent the past 20 minutes

debating which reindeer
is the biggest A-hole.

- Yeah, it was Blitzen.
- Prancer was a close second.

Okay, um, I-I guess
there was this one story

that always kinda resonated,
The Little Match Girl?

Oh, okay, come on, let's hear it.

Um, the little match girl
is this poor, hungry orphan

and she sells matches for a living.

[chuckles]
That's a job?

In Hans Christian Andersen it is, yeah.

So, it's Christmas
and she's looking for food,

and she's got her basket of matches,

and all of a sudden,
she looks through a window,

and she sees this family,
and they're all, like, perfect and happy,

enjoying this grand feast.

- Mm, I like the sound of this.
- Okay, but she's outside,

she's cold, she's freezing,

so she lights one of her matches
to try to stay warm

and then, in that fiery glow,

she sees a vision of a family,
but this time, she's in the family.

She loves that,
so she lights another match,

and then she strikes another one,
and then, all her matches go up in flames

and in a blaze of glory, she looks up
and she sees this sh**ting star,

and her dead grandmother told her

that that's a sign that
a soul is going to Heaven,

so then, the match goes there,

and she decides to lay down,
and she falls asleep,

and she freezes to death.

- Hm?
- Jesus, Mom.

Lord have mercy, Paige.

Okay, not a bummer at all.

- And that's your story, huh?
- [doorbell rings]

You asked me to tell a Christmas story.

- That's, that's the one I have.
- [Edwin] Okay.

I like it.

[♪ festive, joyous music plays]

[laughing]
Instant Pot's here!

[grunts]
Oh yeah, you are a Christmas miracle.

God bless Prime.
[softly] Okay.

[indistinct chatter]

- Hey, family.
- [Paige] Yes?

Uh, this is not ideal
to course it out like this,

but since the oven's busted--

- You're hungry, huh?
- [all exclaiming]

- Okay.
- Damn, damn, damn!

[mouth full]
What-- Is this-- This is bacon?

Yeah, yeah, man.
That's, that's my auntie's recipe.

I could eat this whole bowl
if I weren't worried about my figure.

- [Edwin] Oh, no, I understand.
- [Carole] Yeah.

Uh, so, look, y'all make sure
and leave room for the main event.

- It's Instant Pot turkey. Wish me luck.
- [Carole laughs]

Good luck.
[chuckles]

- Paige, dearest...
- Mm?

...this is for you.

No, I didn't know we were doing gifts.
Now I feel bad.

Well, don't.
Just open it. Here.

Oh!

- [Carole laughing]
- It's an ornament!

Do you remember
when you picked all the baby apples

- off my apple tree?
- [laughter]

Well, you thought that they would
all just grow back. [chuckles]

Mom, you got a Christmas ornament

for the girl who only puts up
a tree during Olympic years.

You don't like trees?

Paige has always been
a little bit down on Christmas.

Okay, I have just
one or two more work things

- that I'm gonna take care of, Mom, okay?
- Alright, yeah.

[Paige] Okay.

[Esti chuckles]

Hey, nothing for me?

So, your, uh, gingerbread house
is like Buckingham Palace, huh?

[laughs]
I love it.

No, I decided to build
this fancy cathedral from one of my games,

just a little less basic b*tch.

[laughs]

Your daddy's gon' be impressed
as hell, man. Look at that.

Yeah, he would, if he ever gets here.

Ya haven't heard from him, huh?

No text, no call, nothin'?

[♪ "My Gift to You" by Alexander O'Neal
playing softly in background]

- Ooh, 'kay.
- What are you doing?

- Voicemail. Gettin' a voicemail.
- No.

Hey, Johnny, so, we're all really
looking forward to seein' you, man.

Uh, Finn, Paige, me, everybody,

so hope you're still plannin' to show

'cause, you know, as we discussed,

bein' a real man involves
steppin' the f*ck up,

- Johnny.
- What?

- A Christmas present to myself.
- A, uh, DNA testing kit?

I mean, I don't even know
my real birthday.

Do you know what it's like
to go through life

- with no idea of your rising sign?
- Actually, yes.

All of this confusion is pushing me
to dig into my roots, you know,

uh, maybe even try
to find my birth parents?

I don't know. [sighs]
I could never tell my mom that.

You'd keep your feelings from her?

She would feel like she let me down
but, you know, if I don't pursue this,

- I'd be letting myself down.
- Then there's your answer.

Life is about constantly
refreshing the page of your identity.

Paige is right, you are insightful.

- Paige said I was insightful?
- Maybe.

Maybe she said that.

[♪ light music playing]

- [bells jingle]
- [Little Paige] There's a reason

we hate Christmas, ya know?

[♪ light, festive music playing]

[Edwin]
Ooh, good one.

Hey, babygirl, I wanna
play that with you, here.

Here you go, mama.
Here you go. Merry Christmas.

Here you go, baby.
There ya go.

- I'm keepin' this one for myself.
- [banging on door]

[door busts open]

- Hands where we can see 'em!
- [sirens wailing]

What's goin' on, now?

[panicky] I love you, babygirl!
I love you, babygirl!

- [Paige's mom crying]
- [indistinct chatter]

I'm taking you somewhere safe, okay?

♪

[softly]
This turkey, this turkey.

- Hey.
- Hey.

I'm not really Christmas neutral, am I?

- What?
- I think I might be dealing with

a serious case of PTCD:

Post Traumatic Christmas Disorder?

Girl, you makin' up
new acronyms now, huh? [chuckles]

Did you get arrested around Christmas?

I don't wanna talk about this now, Paige.

No, no, no, I need to know.
I need to know.

So, we were, uh, at the house on Lyndale.

Cops busted in,
arrested me and your mother.

Your mama wasn't charged,

but when they took me away,

that's when she decided to give you up.

She gave me up at Christmas?

She felt like she had to, Paige.
She wasn't equipped, baby. She--

That didn't mean she didn't love you.

How did I just block that out?

That's why I wanna make
Christmas special this year.

For you, and for Finn.

- [♪ pensive music playing]
- Hm.

[phone chimes]

[Edwin sighs]

[scoffs]

What?

- The boy's father ain't gonna show--
- Oh, God. [gasps]

- Now what? What the hell?
- [Paige] What-What's happening?!

[Finn] Looks like the power's out
on the whole street!

[Edwin laughs]

Uhh, I guess I wasn't ready
for anything after all, huh?

Uh, you know what... I need a minute.

[♪ melancholy music playing]

[crying]

♪

Where's your little basket
of matches now, Paige? [sighs]

[bells jingle]

Oh, g-- Jeez!

[exhales]
You scared me.

I have [singsongy]
something for you.

[sighs]
[feigned] More gifts.

Just open it.

Is this supposed to be funny?

It's the present. Get it?
That's the gift.

Right now, it's all we have.
And you're stuck in the past.

Ooh, you're one to talk,
little inner child.

Look, I know you don't wanna feel
the way that we felt back then...

but would a more Christmas-y
Christmas be so bad?

No.

Oh, God. Oh.

I have to fix this, right?
For... my dad, for Finn.

For me too.

[chuckles]

For me too.

[♪ "Slowly" by Olivia Dean playing]

[sighs]

♪ Down in Margate,
had a sip of you ♪

Finn?
I need to apologize to you.

I am really sorry that I never gave you
a more Christmas-y Christmas.

That's okay.
I mean, I love pizza.

- [Paige chuckles]
- But I like Grandpa's Christmas too.

♪

Finn, I need to give you
some hard news too.

Johnny's not coming.

[sighs]

I'm sorry.

Why would he even say he would?

Because that's what
Johnny does, sometimes.

♪

♪ Go slowly, slowly ♪

Do you wanna talk
about how you're feeling?

I mean... it sucks.

[Paige]
Yeah.

Like... [sighs]

[emotional] I, I thought he was
actually gonna, like, try,

- but I guess not.
- This is Johnny trying.

He's trying.

And the fact that he's not here
is not your fault.

Okay?

- [Finn sniffles]
- I'm really, really sorry.

- Please stop apologizing.
- [softly] Okay.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna get back
to this before the icing dries,

- so... yeah. [clears throat]
- Okay. Yeah.

♪

- ♪ Go on, hold me ♪
- [softly] Okay.

♪ And maybe I'll be fine this time ♪

♪ Yeah, maybe I'll be fine ♪

Hey, I brought snacks.

- I mean, it's really just a snack--
- Hang on, honey.

Esti has something
that she's trying to tell us.

Oh.

Okay, Mom, ever since
I, I started diving into my adoption,

I, I have this missing piece,

and-and y-you guys
are the only parents I have,

so I-I don't, I don't know
who else to unload this on.

Sweetie, just get it all out.

I can handle it.

I love you.

I love you too.

Mom, I'm, I'm doing a DNA test.

Now that I've finally got enough spit,

I'm-I'm gonna send it in and see
if I can find someone I'm related to,

like my birth parents.

[gasps]
Oh.

Alright.

And if there's a lead,

I'm gonna go look for them in Korea,

but I-I-I won't do it
i-if you're not okay with that.

I understand. I, um--

Whatever you need to do.

I, I, [sighs] I just need a moment.

Uh, Paige, is there
someplace I could lie down?

- Of course, of course.
- Okay.

But hold on, hold on.
I just, um, I-I wanna say

that I think this is something
that Esti just has to work through,

but...

you will always be our mom.

Thank you, dear, thank you.

And, maybe, this will all make us
stronger, I-- with the Lord's help.

- [both] Amen.
- [Paige chuckles]

Okay, let's get you upstairs.

Wait, wait, Mom.
Hold on, be careful. Come on.

[indistinct chatter]

- Hey!
- Hey.

So, I promised y'all
a traditional Christmas...

and I'ma give it to you...

Alexander style.

- Hey!
- Pepperoni pizza.

- Yeees!
- [Finn] Mmm!

[laughter]

Hey, this for you, babygirl.

Go 'head.

Just take the--
[stammers] O-kay.

What? [gasps]

Twister?!

Yeah, it was under the tree
the, uh, the year we got popped,

you know, the bad year.

You know what,
I think this is our first Christmas.

You know what I mean?

Like, new traditions,
we start from scratch.

Start from scratch, amen.

- [shouts] Esti!
- Woo!

She loves Twister.

- [Edwin laughs]
- [Paige squeals]

- Esti!
- [softly] Wow.

Yeah, I know.
She's excited, right?

- Look here. [exhales]
- [Paige/Esti squealing]

So, I know you wanted it
to snow out there...

but you did somethin' better,
you made your own world,

so I think...

you get to decide
what happens in that world.

- [chuckles] Oh, man.
- Oh, yeah.

Oh!

- I'm about to make it blizzard, so hard!
- Come on.

- [power comes on]
- [all rejoicing]

[Edwin laughs]

- [Paige] Woo!
- Oh, man.

[Paige] It's the power of Twister!
We did it! Let's go!

[♪ "This Christmas"
by Donny Hathaway playing]

So you're tellin' me
you did all of this? How?

[gasps]
Wow, Finn, this is incredible!

Yeah, I mean, it's pretty basic geometry.

The arches distribute the weight
to the load-bearing pillars, so.

- That does not sound basic.
- Mm-mm. [laughs]

- Can I help?
- Sure, just don't screw it up, please.

- Do you have faith in me?
- [Finn] Make it snow, Mom.

[Paige]
Yeah, I'm gonna make it snow. Shall I?

- Make it snow. Hey!
- Hey! Make it snow.

[both]
Make it snow.

You deserve an award
for every time you've had my back

at a disastrous Alexander
family gathering.

I am glad that I came, you know,
even with all of our--

- Complicated history?
- History. Yeah, yeah.

Well, it wasn't all bad, right?

- I mean, we were kinda good before I--
- Blew it?

Yeah. But...
I am learning a lot, you know?

I feel like I'm really figuring out
a lot about who I am,

and what I want,
where I belong, so.

And where is that?

[♪ "Joy To The World" by Robert Glasper
ft. Alex Isley playing]

- [Finn] Cheater!
- [Esti] No, no, did not!

[Finn/Esti arguing]

I'm gonna-- Yeah.

Uh, yeah. [chuckles]

♪ Let earth receive her King... ♪

- [Finn] Right hand green.
- [Paige] Okay.

- [Esti laughs]
- Okay!

[Edwin]
Let me see what you workin' with.

[Paige/Edwin yelling]

- [Edwin laughs]
- No!

I get the prize. Where's it at?
Where's my prize at?

- You get a big family hug.
- Huh?

- [Finn] Family hug.
- Okay, alright, alright. Come on.

Aw, look at the Alexanders
bein' all cute.

- Mom would love this.
- Oh, go get her.

- Okay, I'll wake her.
- Oh, I should hang this.

- It's so pretty, right?
- Oh...

- I got just the spot for it too.
- [Paige] Where, over here?

[Edwin]
No, no, no, no, no.

- Yeah.
- Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.

- Where?
- Right here.

- Right there.
- [Paige] Mm.

[Edwin]
There you go.

♪

- That looks good.
- Yeah.

- Oh, hey, it's snowin'!
- No.

- It's snowing outside, for real.
- Really? Oh, my God.

- You got your White Christmas, man.
- [Finn laughs]

- Wow.
- Oh, wow.

- Oh!
- Finn, that is God.

- Wow.
- Thank you, Dad.

- You are welcome, babygirl.
- Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmaaas!

[Paige chuckles]

- [Esti] Paige?
- Yeah?

Hey, what's goin' on, what's up?

Wh-- Is everything okay?

It's Mom, [stammers] she's not breathing.

[stammers]
I think...

I think she's dead.

What?

[♪ "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"
instrumental playing]

♪

[♪ music fades out]

[speaker] Woo-hoo!

[spray paint can hissing]