02x09 - Gone Efficien...t

[bunniefuu]

Avenger, could you, uh,
uh--with your beak?

Harvey, get in here!

- 4.7.
- Dreadful.

Birdman, this is Dvd,
our new efficiency expert.

lnteresting name. Norweg--

Was David. l eliminated
the vowels to save time.

Brllnt!

Hrvy. Hmm. Wait.
ls Y a vowel?

You're still here?

Go be efficient!

- Ow!
- Run!



Birdman, there's gonna be
some changes around here.

Profit generators, cost cutting,
rolling blackouts.

Oh. And we've only got room
for the top 3 earners.

The rest, well,
l'll have to fire the rest.

Fire?

What are they doing
with my furniture?

Correction--my furniture.
Chairs are for earners.

How will l work without pens...

and ceilings?

That's a yesterday question.
lt's a new day!

A new, profitable,
new, efficient, new day.

Heads-up!

♪ Who is the man in the suit? ♪

♪ Who is the cat with the beak? ♪

♪ Do you really want to feel him? ♪

♪ Harvey attorney ♪

♪ Habeas corpus ♪

♪ Marvey attorney ♪

♪ Harvey Birdman,
Attorney at Law ♪

Chat room.

Send in the next client.

Huh.

A-ha! Birdman at last!
Prepare to feel the sting of my--

Where's Debbie?

Uh, yeah, yeah.
No problem, no problem.

Mm-hmm. This can wait.

- Debbie?
- Debbie was redundant.

Here's your new
electronic assistant...

The Supercalifragalisticexpiefficaceous.

l've never really used
one of these.

Oh, let me!
l'm an early adapter!

- Wait. Are you on payroll?
- Uh, no.

He's just here to k*ll me.

- Go ahead.
- Who's my next client?

Yeesh.
You know, it's funny...

you and l have lunch
scheduled next month...

but l don't...see it...in here.

Wow! You've got nothing
going on for decades.

- Keep scrolling!
- Oh, here's something.

Yakky Doodle
name change in 2008.

Name change
is 30 billable hours.



- You'll take the case.
- l'll take the case!

- Go get him!
- Going to get him!

Time is money.
Send a messenger.

Wait. You're not
actually suggesting--

Would you mind?

You would dare ask l--
X, the Eliminator...

your sworn enemy--
to do your bidding?

- l'd owe you.
- OK.

Look out!

Put these on.

Hello.

Do you have any idea
how many Doodles...

- there are in this city?!
- Lunch break's over.

''Bob Doodle, Kathy Doodle,
Pamela Edwards Doodle''...

but nobody's heard
of Yakky Doodle!

Give me a last known address
or just something!

Skates on.

Or a maiden name.
That might work.

Got to go!

l'm expecting reimbursement
on these quarters!

- Little privacy?
- 90 seconds.

What the--?
Come--come here.

Attention, employee,
attention, employee.

lt is against Sebben
and Sebben regulations...

to tamper with or disable
toilet paper dispensers...

in the lavatories.

You are allotted one sheet
of tissue per visit.

One sheet?

Repeat.
One sheet per visit.

Want mine?
l ain't gonna use it.


Let's go, let's go, let's go.

lf it's yellow,
leave it mellow.

lf it's brown,
flush it down...maybe.

Look out!

Oh, Birdman,
you're out of tzatziki.

ls this my office?

Sublet to Stravros here.

Hard bargainers, the Greeks,
but damn it...

you should see what
we're getting per square metron.

Don't just stand there.
See if they're taken care of outside.

l found him!

Don't you move, you duck!

Nice to meet you.
l'm Harvey Birdman, and you are?

Yakky Doodle.

l'm sorry. What?

Yakky Doodle!

l'm having a little trouble
understanding.

Can you tell what he's say--

Yakky Doodle, you stupid simp!

Duck loogie.

l see. So what do you
want to change...

the Yakky or the Doodle?

Both!

Court in five minutes!

So, Mr. Tappet,
can you describe for us...

in your own words...

what you witnessed
the night of July 18?

Which proves beyond a shadow
of a doubt my client's innocence.

ln conclusion...

l'd like to quote from the Roman poet
Quintus Horiatis Flaccus.

Come on, come on.

Thank you.

Mr. Birdman, you clearly have
something on your mind.

- Know how l know that?
- Yeah, yeah. Mind-taking.

Watch your tone with me,
Mr. Man--Bird--Thing.

- l'm sorry.
- That's all right. What's up?

l have one small piece of business.
Take 10 minutes.



No. Court adjourned till 9 A.M.

So you're a massage therapist.
That is really interesting.

You know, it's funny.
l woke up...

with the craziest little kink
right down here.

Ready to order?

The lady will have
the charmoula...

and a little flatbread
on the side.

l'll be dining, of course,
off menu this evening.

Oh, and, boy,
two ouzo spritzers.

You are feeling rested.

While you're sleeping,
we're interviewing your replacement.

Yes. l'm up!

Look out!

Hey, Dvd, what if we just combined
the urinal and the water fountain?

Oh, Birdman, we've sold space
on you to advertisers.

Stand still.

How do l get out of the building?

Duh. And it's been brought
to my attention...

that you're not using
both sides of the toilet paper.

You're wasting a ply.

Your parking space
is considered a benefit.

Where is it? Where's--

Peanut, trade me
a crisp dollar bill for this one.

Five bucks American.

l don't have it!

- Two seconds.
- l'll owe you!

That's 3 points over the vig.
Per day, snatchy!

Sorry l'm late, Your Honor.
Trucks went out.

Your Honor, you have before you
a simple matter...

an ordinary,
run-of-the-mill duck...

who simply wants
to change his name...

and l submit to you that it is
the God-given constitutional right...

of every American animal
to do just that...

if he, she, or it wants to.

Fine. Mr. Reducto?

Frankly, l'm rather shocked
that Mr. Birdman...

would waste
the court's valuable time...

on such a frivolous matter,
but, hell, we're here...

so today we'll prove that having
a ridiculous-sounding name...

should be no impediment
to living a normal, fulfilling life.

Tell us, Mr. Diddly...

have you ever found it
an impediment...

that your name is
a euphemism for copulation?

Little Nicky didn't
show up this morning.

They're gonna be short a waiter.
You're gonna have to cover.

l don't have the time.

Yeah, you do, you know,
when you run back...

to fill out that
name change petition...

you're gonna need here in,
oh, l don't know, about 3 minutes.

l have it here.
l know l filled it out.

Yeah. Skate like the wind, B-man.
You'll just make the lunch crowd.

Ohh! l'll be back!

Could l have a souvlaki, please?

Souvlaki!

Give me a pen!

$15.00?

Tax!

Tip!

Three minutes!

Judge!

Oh, Birdman, good.
We're a table for 46.

Can you get us something
away from the kitchen?

Sure.

You got some hummus
there on your sleeve, my friend.

Ah. Well, that's not
hummus, is it?

Look out!

lf you think l'm skimming,
do it yourself, damn it.

Water!

Mr. Birdman.

Yakky, hey, l'm sorry
about your case.

lt's just that
l've been so busy and--

Sorry?
No need to be sorry.

l'm ecstatic!

Oh. ''lt is the court's judgment...

''that the plaintiff
Yakky Doodle submit...

''to a court-approved
clinic for''...

My new name, everyone--
Chemical Castration!

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Yeah!

Who's got efficient n*pples?

You do!

We'll appeal.

Who's got efficient n*pples?