05x21 - Big Burger, Small Fry

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪]

Movie playing...

What would you do
if you had spider powers?

I'd climb to the top
of the football stadium

and watch all of the games
for free.

[Chuckles]

What about you?

Oh!

I'd re-engineer my webs
to never disintegrate

so I could make permanent
housing for all people in need.

Yeah... Yeah, I'd do that, too.

After watchin' those
free games, though.

- Hey, auntie Rae.
- Hey, hey. [Chuckles]

Um, don't you think
it's time for bed?

Yeah. Good night. Sleep tight.

What? No. Me?
I meant you.

Why does Booker get to stay up
and I have to go to bed?

Well, because
he's older than you.

He's older,
but I'm more mature.

- Nuh-uh.
- Uh-huh.

- Nuh-uh.
- Uh-huh.

Nuh-uh, and I can't hear you.

La la la la la la la la la!

Okay, all right.
You made your point.

You are more mature
than Booker,

so why don't you pat yourself
on the back on your way to bed?

Please, auntie Rae, I'm 10,

which you can round to 13,
which is almost 16,

which is two years away from 18.

No, no, no, no. It's late
and I don't have a calculator.

Get to the point.

The point is
I'm basically an adult.

And adults get to stay up
however late they want.

Please?

Okay, but I don't wanna hear

"I'm tired"
in the morning, okay?

- Deal.
- Okay.

[Gasps]
Ooh, I love this movie.

You know,
if I had spider powers,

I would climb
to the top of the stadium

and watch all
the concerts for free.

Right? Alice said she'd use
her powers to help the world.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'd do that, too.

- After watching some concerts, though.
- Right!

Theme music playing...

♪ Ha ha!
Let me tell you something ♪

♪ Had my vision all worked out ♪

♪ But then life had other plans
♪ - Tell 'em, Mom ♪

♪ It's crazy when things
Turn upside down ♪

♪ But you gotta get up
And take that chance ♪

- ♪ A new city, I'm finding my way ♪
- ♪ It's gonna take some time ♪

- ♪ Yeah, we're gonna be okay ♪
- ♪ You know I got it, right? ♪

♪ It might be wild But you
know that we make it work ♪

♪ We're just fam caught up
In a crazy world, come on! ♪

- ♪ It's Raven's Home ♪
- ♪ We get loud! ♪

- ♪ Yeah, Raven's Home ♪
- ♪ It's our crowd! ♪

♪ Might be tough But
together we make it look good ♪

♪ Down for each other
like family should ♪

- ♪ It's Raven's Home ♪
- ♪ When it's tough ♪

- ♪ Yeah, Raven's Home ♪
- ♪ We got love ♪

♪ 'Cause no matter the weather
You know we gonna shine ♪

♪ There for each other
You know it's our time ♪

[laughs] Yep, that's us.

- Neil: Hey, Booker.
- Ooh!

- Did you get our text?!
- Uh, clearly, I didn't.

We need your help.

Something terrible's happened.

- My abuelita...
- Oh no!

- Just told me...
- Oh good.

- That a bus load of children...
- Oh no!

Was driving past
the blimpo's on 9th street

and it's closing!

You really need to work on
how you tell your stories.

Yeah.

The guy who owns blimpo's
told Neil that he could have

the giant burger
from the top of the building

if he picks it up by noon.

- Mm-hm.
- See, Neil?

That's how you tell a story.

The blimpo's burger?
That thing's iconic.

I know! And it'd mean
a lot to me to have it.

My grandpa used to take me

to blimpo's after
my little league games,

- but he can't anymore...
- Oh no!

Because they're
closing the store.

Neil, why are you guys here?

We need you to drive us
to pick it up.

I only have 45 minutes
for this mission

because I'm on a strict study
schedule for my ap history test.

Hmm.

- Oh, you wanna take Janine?
- Yeah.

That's not gonna work
'cause she's not running.

What? But you just paid all
that money to get her fixed up.

Yeah, I know.

I actually have a mechanic

comin' by today
to take a look at her.

I-I guess we could
walk to blimpo's

and then roll the burger back.

- Now that could work. Let's go!
- Yeah.

Don't you have to wait
here for the mechanic?

Yup. Yup, I-I did say that.

Well, looks like
it's just you and me, Ivy.

Ugh, no way.
Walking will take forever.

I will lose a good
hour of studying.

[Sighs] I didn't
wanna have to do this.

Is that the friendship coupon
book I made you in fourth grade?

It sure is.

And I'm officially
cashing in my

"join me on a random adventure,
no questions asked" coupon.

I knew I should've put an
expiration date on those things.

[♪♪]

I'm exhausted.

I don't know what I was thinking

staying up so late
watchin' that movie.

- Thank you.
- Like I say,

nothing good
happens after 8:30.

When was the last time
you stayed up past 8:30?

New year's Eve, 1996.

And trust me...
Nothing good happened.

Good morning, fellow
adults. Is this fresh?

Uh, what do you
think you're doin'?

Just starting my day off
with a cup of coffee

like a grown-up.

No, you are not.

Um, sorry. I'm confused.

I thought we all agreed
last night that I'm an adult.

You told her that?

No, I did not.

I told her she could
stay up past her bedtime.

And look at me. I'm fine.
I'm not even tired.

Clearly, I'm ready to make
my own decisions like an adult.

Why are you in such
a rush to grow up?

Because, adults get
to do whatever they want.

They get to make
their own rules.

You guys have it easy.

[laughs]

I'm sorry.
What you cacklin' about?

Because I remember having
the exact same conversation

with you when you were her age.

You wanted to be an adult, too.

- How'd you handle it?
- I let you.

You had ice cream for breakfast,
popcorn for lunch,

and a stomachache for dinner.

- And mom let you do it?
- Yeah.

Parents love watching
their kids fail miserably

so long as it proves us right.

Well... I'm not gonna fail.

Oh, okay then.
Well, since Alice is an adult,

my services are
no longer needed.

I'm going to the spa.

So, what's the first thing
you're gonna do as an adult?

- I haven't figured that out yet, Victor.
- [Victor chokes]

Oh no, you ain't that grown.

Pop-pop it is.

[♪♪]

Ugh, I've been trying to get
a reservation here for months.

Oh, what's that, Tasha?

Of course, we'll get French
toast for the table, darling.

Ooh, a tea party!
Can I play?

It's not a tea party.
It's brunch.

Where we overdress,
overpay, and over share.

[Chuckles]

You know who loves brunch?

Panther man!

What's that, panther man?

Panther man wants to know
if the French toast

is for the table
or if he should order his own.

Sorry, Alice, tea party's over.

Grandpa Vic, it's brunch.

And we have
the table until four.

Well, too bad.
Alice has laundry to do.

Pop-pop, I'm grown now.
I don't do chores.

Uh, grown-ups do chores.

Only they don't call them
"chores." they call it "life."

Unless, you can't
handle being an adult.

Fine. No problem. [Grunts]

I'll start the laundry and be back
before the beignets hit the table.

Panther man eats French toast.

Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom.

Nom-nom-nom-nom
nomnom-nom-nom.

Booker, get out of the
chair before you break it.

And what are you
even doin' here?

I thought you were goin' out
with Ivy and Neil.

Nah, I wasn't feelin' it.

Figured I'd stay here and hang
with Alice, Tasha, and my main man...

Panther man.

[Phone ringing]

Hey, Booker,
what's goin' on with your car?

Did the mechanic fix it?

No, no.
Janine's still not runnin'.

Not runnin'?
Wh-what's wrong with her?

Oops... Uh, I must be
gettin' another call.

You know, it might be the mechanic.
Probably not. Gotta go.

- Ivy: [out of breath] What'd he say?
- He's not coming.

[Grunts] Well, we can't carry
this burger all the way home.

- It weighs a ton.
- I know.

I thought a quarter
pounder would be lighter.

[♪♪]

Grandpa Vic,
it's not that big a deal.

You busted your butt to get
Janine up and runnin'

and now it's no big deal?

- I don't understand. Let me try.
- You really don't have to.

[Engine starts]

Whoa. Wow. How'd you fix it?

I turned the key.

You know what?
I'MMA remember that next time.

Thanks.

Glad I could help.

She sounds great.

Not for long.

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

Why would every scut
we call cancel on us?

Oh, I don't know.

Maybe because we're
two sweaty kids

carrying a giant hamburger.

Ah, you're right.

We should've called
scut eats.

Come on, Neil.
This cable car is our only option.

- Okay.
- All right.

- Lift on three, yeah?
- Yeah.

One, two, and... [grunting]

- What happened?
- What do you mean? You lifted on "and."

Oh, right. Okay.
Let's try it again.

Okay, I'll count this time.

One, two, lift.

I said "lift."

Well, I thought we
were lifting on "three."

- You pick up the burger, Neil.
- Okay.

- Okay, come on. You got it.
- [grunting] Get in there.

I got it. I got it.
Get it up! Get it up!

- Okay, okay.
- Neil: There we go.

- Ivy: Careful.
- Neil: We're goin'.

[Cable car bell rings]

Careful. Okay.

Finally, we're moving.

We're almost home.
Only 44 stops to go.

[Ivy groans]

Hey, can I see that
coupon book I gave you?

Oh, sure.

It's laminated.

Why am I such
a good gift-giver?

[♪♪]

I don't get it.

Your car started earlier.
What could've happened to it?

I don't know.
It's an old car.

You know how old stuff
just stops working.

- Yeah, tell me about it.
- Yeah, you know.

Like your left hip,
your right hip.

Your ability to be hip.

Stop trying to be funny
and call the mechanic.

Yep. That's what I'MMA do.

I'MMA call that mechanic.

I'MMA call the mechanic
right... Never.

Alice:
Stupid fitted sheet!

I have an IQ of 162.

I can't lose to linen.

Hey, Alice, do you wanna
go play with my action figures?

I don't have time for dolls.

Well... [scoffs]
Well, I, I never said dolls.

I said action figures.

I have to mop
the kitchen floor,

call the cable company,
wash the dishes,

and I'm still not finished
with the laundry.

You know how to fold
one of these?

Yeah, just ball it up

and leave it where
mom can find it.

Then she'll think
I'm incompetent.

It's not that bad.

Once you get past the shame,
it's pretty awesome.

Well, I will not give
her the satisfaction.

[Grunts]
I can do what she does.

Okay, well, when you're done
wrestling with that sheet,

can you wash my gym shorts?
I need 'em for Monday.

No, you wash your own shorts.

Normally I would,
but mom doesn't like it

when I just wash one thing.

And since you're
already doin' laundry...

Fine. But if you ask me
to do anything else,

I'm gonna wash your clothes

with you still... In them.

Wow. Even startin'
to sound like mom.

Let me show you h...
No, you doin'... ball it up...

And get rid of it.

[♪♪]

Aw, seriously?

You proposed under
this very burger?

Wow.

From now on, when I smell
beef grease, I'll think... "romance."

Ivy, you have got
to hear this story.

Nah. Not now, Neil.

I found a study guide online
and a couple more spots

in my brain to cram facts into.

[Gasps] Whoa.

That lady over there
has a blimpo's tattoo!

I bet we have
so much to talk about!

Hey, hey! Neil!
You get back here!

My butt can't hold
this thing by itself!

- Whoa.
- Thanks.

I've heard of super-sized,
but this is ridiculous.

[Cackles]

Whoa! Nobody ever
laughs at my jokes.

Why not?
They're hilarious.

- I'm Ivy.
- I'm Rose.

What is with the burger?

My friend dragged me
out to go get it.

I should be studying.

I have a really important
ap test on Monday.

But you waited until the last
minute and now you're cramming?

No. I started
almost a month ago.

But you struggle
with the subject?

No. I love history,
and science, and math.

I'm what is affectionately
known as "a big ol' nerd."

You remind me of me
in high school.

I worried about
every test, every grade.

And then, I got to college.

And you had fun,
like, all the time?!

No. I worried about
every test, every grade.

And then I graduated
and got an awesome job.

Oop, now you don't have to
worry about tests and grades.

Nope. Now I worry about
conceptualizing synergistic deliverables

along backward compatible
quality vectors.

What is that?

I don't know.
That's why I worry about it.

The point is, there's always
gonna be something to worry about,

which is why you gotta do
the fun stuff when you can.

Okay, when you're 80,
you're gonna wanna tell

the story about this giant burger,

not acing your AP test.

But I love telling people
how I ace tests.

Just remember:
Grades are important,

but so is having fun.

This is my stop.
Take care, Ivy.

Whoa, Neil, Neil...

- [cable car bell rings]
- I think I just talked to myself from the future.

Cool, whatever.

I just talked to the girl
with the Blimpo's tattoo.

She's got the burger,
the fries, the shake,

and the lemon pie!

It's a combo meal sleeve!

I know what
I'm gettin' when I'm 18.

[♪♪]

Okay, well, laundry's done.

Now to call the cable company.

This isn't hard.

Or am I just that good?

Automated voice: [on phone]
Good afternoon.

We're experiencing a larger
than average call volume.

Your estimated wait time
is... 30 minutes.

Thirty minutes?

Automated voice:
I'm sorry. Forty minutes.

Forty?!
Are you kidding me?!

Automated voice:
You wanna make it 50 minutes?

No, no, 40's good.

[♪♪]

You know, Rose was right.
I need to have some balance.

I have been studying
for this test for months.

When I'm not studying,
I'm thinking about it.

And when I'm not thinking
about it, I'm thinking,

"should I be thinking about it?"

Yeah... Totally.

- But...
- No, no, no, no.

I need to trust myself.

I am ready for that test.

There's a time for studying
and there's a time for fun.

And right now,
it's time for fun.

Right, Neil?!

Uh... Right now I think
it's time for running.

- Why?
- Mm, that's why.

- Stop! Okay.
- [cable car screeches]

Come on.

Do you mind waiting for us?
We'll be right back.

[Rumbling]

On second thought,
don't wait for us.

Follow that burger!

[♪♪]

Representative: [on phone]
Thanks for holding.

Oh, finally...
I'm just calling to see

if I could lower
my monthly cable bill.

Representative: I'm sorry.
You want current customers.

This is the previous
customers department.

Why would previous
customers be calling?

Representative: Great
question. I'll connect you to

the automated frequently
asked questions line.

- Hold, please.
- No, wait!

Automated voice: Your estimated wait
time is... Outside our business hours.

- Goodbye.
- No, no, no!

Raven singing...

Ah, I had such
an amazing spa treatment.

And then I took
a little stroll in the mall,

did a little shoppin',

realized I spent too much money
and had to return some items.

Woo! It was a good day.

- Stop!
- What happened? Why?

I know you're not trackin' mud
all over my clean floors.

Sorry. [Chuckles]
My bad. My bad.

Um... You missed a spot.

- What happened to my sheets?!
- Oh, so you didn't do this?

I just spent
all afternoon folding them.

But you're the only kid in the house
who would actually make a blanket fort.

She's not the only one.

Both: Booker?

Remember we used to build
forts all the time in Chicago?

Mama! Why we stop doin' that?

Because you grew up, I thought.

Grew up?

He's been actin'
like a child all day.

All he wanted to do was play
while I was workin' my butt off.

Do I get a thank you? No.

Oh! Oh, wait. So, you're
overworked and under appreciated?

Ah! Congratulations!
You're an adult and a parent.

He asked me to wash his clothes

and look what I found
in his laundry bag.

What even is this?
I could've broken the washing machine.

What, this?
This is nothing.

That's a distributor cap.

Removin' this would be a good
way to keep Janine from runnin'.

Okay, um, Alice, why
don't you go to your room?

Are you sending me away
so the grown folks can talk?

Yes.

Sweet, I'm a kid again!

Oh, thank goodness.

Ah, being an adult is tough.

Now I see why
old people take naps.

Well, if you need me,
I'll be in my Booker bunker.

Stop.

Booker, why isn't that
thing on your engine?

I don't know.
It must've fallen off.

Distributor caps
don't just fall off.

All right, fine.
Okay? I took it off.

I never wanna drive again.

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

Oh, you can't make your bed,

but you can build a fort
outta sheets, okay.

Oh my g... okay.

[Sighs]
You wanna talk about it?

- Not really.
- Oh... Okay.

- [Grunting]
- I didn't mean what I said.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, let's, uh... wait, hold on.

I do wanna drive again,
but I'm...

Nervous? Scared? Confused?

All of it.

I-I used to feel safe
and now I don't.

I get it.

Every time you leave
the house, I get nervous.

Sometimes I wish I could
just keep you in here with me.

Great. Let's do that!
You know, I got this fort now.

If we get a couple more
blankets, I could build you,

I could build you a mommy suite.

You know we can't do that.

There are so many wonderful things
that are gonna happen to you, Booker,

but they're not gonna happen
if you stay in this fort.

But what if I'm drivin'
and I get stopped by the cops again?

Y-you might.
But you'll know how to handle it.

And you don't want anyone
else dictating your life.

Except for me. I'm your mom.
You gotta do as I say.

But if you feel this way again,

I don't want you
to sabotage your car

or build a fort
in the living room.

I need you to come
talk to me, okay?

I love you.

I love you, too, mom.

You'll get back out
there when you're ready.

- Thanks, mom.
- [chuckles]

In the meantime, I'm gonna
need you to fold these sheets

'cause I can protect you
from a lot, but...

Not Alice.

- But can you help me up? Okay.
- Gettin' up? There you go.

[♪♪]

It's too fast!

That's why they call
it fast food. Ha!

Ivy, now is not
the time for jokes!

So you admit it's a joke!

We have to catch it before
it reaches Hayes street.

You're right.
It is all downhill from there.

And I mean that
figuratively and literally.

[laughs] I'm sorry, Neil.

I shouldn't be crackin'
you up right now.

It's okay. You're not.

We're never gonna
catch that thing.

I mean, who knew something
loaded with meat, cheese, pickles,

onions, and blimpo's sauce
could move so fast.

Maybe we should just give up.

No! No, we're not giving up!

I have to tell this story
when I'm 80.

I'm probably gonna
tell it sooner,

so I-I hope you're
cool with that.

Hey! What are you waitin' for?
Get in!

- You got your car running!
- Yeah. Yeah.

I'm not afraid to be
out in the world anymore.

I'm tryna live more
in the present!

I have the same want
I had this morning.

And it's getting away!

- Okay. Step on it!
- Nuh-uh. Seatbelts.

- Both: Oh.
- All: Yep.

- Now, step on it!
- [tires screeching]

[♪♪]

[Grunting] Okay.

Neil, I thought we were
keepin' this at your house?

I can't.
My mom's a vegetarian.

Come on, come on.
Let's just throw it away.

And throw away a golden
memory from our childhood?!

Absolutely not.

What's that noise?

- It's slipping!
- Booker, don't let go!

- Let go of what?
- [rumbling]

Oh, oh!

A giant burger.

Wasn't expecting that.

[♪♪]