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04x03 - Edelweiss

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Space Ghost Coast to Coast". Aired: May 30, 2006 – May 31, 2008.*
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Uses a subverted talk show format hosted by Space Ghost as he interviews live-action guest stars, whom Space Ghost believes to be fellow superheroes, appearing on a monitor beside Space Ghost's desk.

04x03 - Edelweiss

Post by bunniefuu »

Hi there, folks.

This is tansit.

Welcome to Space Ghost coast to coast.

Tonight's guest is Beck.

That's it. Just Beck.

My work is done here.

I'm going home.

Oh, yeah. Here's, uh, Space Ghost.

Greetings.

I'm Space Ghost.

Joining me tonight is guitarist/musician Beck.

Also I will blast zorak repeatedly

for busting up my apartment

earlier this afternoon.

I'm back.

Well, thanks for joining us, zorak.

No problem.

You're a little late.

Well, I've been breaking your stuff.

Yes. I know.

Ahh. I got tired near the end, so I lit a big fire.

That's why I'm late.

Did the flames consume all my possessions?

Everything but your hand-painted

presidents of the United States

ceramic figurine collection.

Oh, really?

Yeah. I had to crush that with a hammer.

You know I'm going to have to do

something about this, don't you?

Go ahead. I'll just regenerate.

See? Fried now.

Cut away And back to normal.

Ha ha ha ha!

Oh, you can do better than that.

Think of the figurines.

This is for tiny Abraham Lincoln.

No, wait!

And this is for tiny George Washington.

And this is for tiny Millard Fillmore.

You'll k*ll him.

You aren't giving him time to regenerate.

This is for tiny Jimmy Carter.

Stop! Stop!

And this is for tiny rutherford b. Hayes.

Are you done yet?

No. Did I do Chester Alan Arthur?

Yeah.

What about grover Cleveland?

Twice.

How about I give him one to grow on?

I think he's learned his lesson.

Ahh, well, that's just super.

Zorak's dead.

Really?

Yes, Space Ghost, he is.

You say that like it's my fault.

It our fault.

You blasted him too many times.

No, I didn't.

Yes, you did.

No, I didn't.

Yes, you did.

Heaven help me!

What have I done?!

Oh, well.

Should I call the morgue or something?

Nope. Play me to the desk.

What? How am I supposed to do that?

I've prepared for this inevitability.

To your left, you will find a songbook.

Open that songbook.

Ugh. Is this it?

Don hester's flip and learn songbook

for the wee piano player, volume one?

Exactly.

Now, start singing.

You know, I'm a little shy.

Get over it.

Page 12, Moltar.

Ugh!

This is the note called middle "c"

this is how it sounds to me

Please welcome my first guest.

Oh, thank you.

Identify yourself.

My name is Beck Hansen, uh, musician Uh,

human being UmEt cetera.

Space Ghost would like to speak

with Beck in the third person.

Would Beck like that?

Yeah. That would be nice. Yeah.

Space Ghost is glad that Beck feels this way.

Third person is always a good way to

To approach the second

and first persons.

Oh, Space Ghost couldn't agree more.

The kind of menage thing is good, too.

Citizen Beck, expound on your freak-like manner.

Well

Whoa. Well, what?

I like to plug things in,

and then I like to unplug them,

and then I go to sleep.

What do you think about that, Moltar?

Looks like you're plugged in all the time.

Moltar is unplugged tonight, Beck.

Oh, yeah?

Allow me to demonstrate.

Moltar, turn to page 23.

Oh, man.

I hate this one.

Take us to the bridge, Moltar.

The London bridge.

All right.

All right.

London bridge is falling down

falling down, falling down

You like that?

Who doesn't?

Falling down, my fair lady

That's a good tune.

Taco?

Oh, if you have one, that would be nice.

Moltar, release the taco!

Of course Space Ghost would always have a taco.

Oh, thanks for the extra cheese there.

That doesn't look too friendly, actually.

Yeah. It's been sitting on

my dashboard for a few days.

Yeah. I can smell it.

Ah, man.

Zorak used to love tacos.

Yeah. Maybe zorak will like that.

Here you go.

Zorak is dead, Beck.

I exterminated him.

Of course, I found an excellent replacement.

I got to go Fix the deal.

Do another one.

Do a German one.

Uhh Deutschland, my Deutschland?

Oh, I know.

Du, du, liegst mir im herzen.

Should I get my helmet on first?

Vasever floatsen das boat.

All right.

Let me have it.

Moltar, commence.

You don't mind if I take a nap, do you?

It's been a long tour.

Just going to stretch out for a while.

That was beautiful, Moltar.

Where did you learn to sing like that?

Julliard.

Shh. Shh. Look.

He's still asleep.

Doesn't he look cute with his little hat on?

Shh! Quiet!

You're going to wake him up.

Let's put a pillow over his face.

No!

Hmm

Mmm. That was

Thanks.

How does Beck feel?

I feel so refreshed.

That was very rejuvenating.

NowYou're a musician, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

And you have a band, correct?

Yeah. I'm I got a band.

We got We got stagecoach on the drums.

We have smokestack on guitar.

Uh, hound dog is playing the

keyboards, and we have, uh,

showboat playing the bass.

Brain wave!

What if you guys came up

here to be my new house band?

Oh I got 2 turntables

and my mommy's home

UhWell, we don't have turntables right now.

Space Ghost would be down with

Beck being his new bandleader.

I am down with that.

Me, too.

You don't bust up people's stuff

for no apparent reason, do you?

No, I don't.

I don't do that.

Good.

I don't play that.

Because I think that would be very

old school of you, and Space Ghost

would not play that.

Yeah, yeah.

You don't play that.

No, I don't.

Space Ghost is not down with that.

That's old school.

I'm not

I'm not down with that.

And Space Ghost would have to dispose of you.

Right, right, right.

Right.

Right.

Hello, Moltar.

Aah!

Zorak, where did you come from?

Downstairs.

Man. I thought you were dead.

Nah. I regenerated and went downstairs.

You know, Space Ghost thinks he k*lled you.

Really?

Ha ha ha ha!

Well, I'm going to go out

there and mess with his head.

Uh, Beck, you have a tag.

How's that?

You got a tag on your pants.

Oh, thanks.

There we go.

Thanks for bringing that to my attention there.

You must be quite embarrassed.

Yeah.

Because, you know, you had a tag.

Tag. Yeah, yeah.

It just sort of made you look foolish.

W-what's going on?

Aah! Zorak, you're dead!

I vaporized you!

Zorak, how you doing?

Fine.

What do you want with me, o specter?

Tonight you will be visited

by 3 spirits.

The first will mess with the lights.

Aah!

The next will screw with your monitor.

Hi. How's it going?

Aah! W-what about the third?

Ahh, the third, ahh

He will also mess with the lights.

Stop it, vile apparition!

You're going to break the switch!

Ooh Whoops. Ha.

Must have blown a fuse.

See? Look what you done now.

The past is a canceled check.

Your maximum point of power is now.

Stop stumbling around in the dark and

stubbing your toe on financial ruin.

Turn the light on!

Wonder what these people are talking about?

Listen to another testimonial.

Hello.

Yes, you, too, will be saying

hello to money and hello to life

with my new 12-week program.

But don't take my word for it.

And in a 12-week plan,

you know, I broke through.

It all happened like that.

That was triple-grammy-award-winning

rock musician Beck.

Here's some more testimonials.

Now I finally have enough money

to live my dream As a woman!

I bought about 35,000 acres and for,

you know, 60 cents an acre,

and in about 12 minutes Mm-hmm?

My profits had gone up 6,000%,

and it was all because of the tapes.

I saw the tapes!

Boy, oh, boy!

Need I say more?

What are you waiting for?

With just 3 easy payments of 79.95,

you, too, can have my 12-week program.

Just pick up the phone and call.

It's that easy.

I'll see it when I believe it.

Believe it, squiggy,

and believe in your cash-ability.

See, I didn't have a tape machine.

I just had the tapes, so I mean,

if I got to listen to the tapes,

I would really be making some headway.

I order you to order now.