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07x05 - Sweet for Brak

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Space Ghost Coast to Coast". Aired: May 30, 2006 – May 31, 2008.*
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Uses a subverted talk show format hosted by Space Ghost as he interviews live-action guest stars, whom Space Ghost believes to be fellow superheroes, appearing on a monitor beside Space Ghost's desk.

07x05 - Sweet for Brak

Post by bunniefuu »

What's up, Zorak?

My dinner.

Well Write a song about that.

All right. Let's do it. Fine.

That's right, you'll do it, because I said it--zorak.

He Wait. What is this?

This ain't cutting it.

He was the name of the song,

explosivo don't know what it's about--

no, no, no. Stop!

Explosivo? What's that mean?

"You're fat"?

It becomes an evil word, if you say it low--explosivo.

No, man, that ain't gonna make any money.

I know.

Check this out.

1, 2, 3, 4.

Explosivo!

Explosivo!

Explosivo!

Yes!

Yes!

We should get a big evil puppet behind us in the concert.

A big evil puppet comes down.

Yeah, man, and he's totally allergic to pollen.

Yeah.

Yeah, maybe.

And he's got these big, like, oven mitts or something, man.

That's not evil.

Yeah, it is, because he's baking in the kitchen of darkness

a pie of lost souls until it's golden-brown.

Hmmph.

Golden-brown?

Yeah, but you can't eat it, even though you want to.

You got to let it cool off on the window

The windowsill toTo hell!

Are you going off the script?

Look, you guys need to spew more blood, for Satan.

He likes that.

But you don't want to puke out your own blood, you understand?

Because you're going to need those

nutrients to perform the encore.

Of course.

So you're going to need the blood of another, somebody else.

Now check this out.

Hand me the goat.

This goat?

Thanks. Appreciate it.

Sorry I'm late.

Have I missed anything?

UhNo.

Nah.

Nah.

What are you doing with that goat?

I don't know. Milking it?

Moltar?

Looks like he's milking it.

That was aA lie.

How many times have I told you not to hang that giant

beast head from the light grid?

Take it home.

Put it in your own house.

It smells horrible.

Ok. I promise.

No, you don't.

Look, Satan is supposed to come pick it up.

Yeah, man, we're doing it for Satan.

Satan? Did I meet him at the open house?

Yeah. He was that guy that was trying

to get you toKill that girl.

Yeah. You know, with the necktie and the crown made of femurs.

I don't remember him.

Maybe you didn't see him.

Your eyes were all rolled back in your head.

Yeah, man, and you kept saying, "Satan. Daddy. Satan."

Femurs?

Space Ghost, come in here.

Let me show you.

All right, take a look at this.

Whoa! Ok. See? There he is.

That's Damien As a baby.

I'll show you.

I'll show all of you!

Show us.

Whoa. Whoa. Ok. Ok.

Look, zorak, I just watched all 4 "omen" movies,

including the crappy third one, where he was president.

What's that mean?

It means "up your a*s."

Dude.

Ha ha ha.

That old wives' tale?

Kyle, asses don't exist.

Everyone knows that.

Yeah. Where did you learn that--Batman fantasy camp?

I never went there.

Hey, zorak, get out the diary.

"Dear bat diary, "another bat-tacular day at camp Batman."

Put it away.

"Today we looked after "Alfred's older sister

"and made sure she didn't

"swallow her own tongue.

"Haven't gotten "to meet Batman yet.

"So far, everyone seems old and in need of care."

You stole that out of my bat-locker!

Is that why you look like Batman?

I never went there, Kyle.

Because you look like Batman, dude.

I have ears. Batman doesn't.

No, you don't.

Batman has ears.

Yeah, Batman does, but Space Ghost doesn't,

and there's the key difference.

Because you're deformed.

Because I was bitten by a radioactive spider,

zorak, the kind that didn't

care for ears.

You see? He looks for the sensitive spot, and then he--

why would that be a sensitive spot?

It just seemed like a sensitive spot.

There's was a shifting and a-- he's sitting in a spaceship.

But that is how I got my superpowers.

It is.

Where's krak?

Where's krakow?

You're talking about Brak?

Don't. He's dead to me.

Oh!

And so is his sitcom, which apparently is extremely popular.

Touchy subject.

People are stupid.

Was that a spin-off?

More like run-off From a waste pump.

It's actually quite successful.

Sweet for Brak.

Yeah. I'm hoping it'll lead to my own show.

My show's not a comedy.

It's a horredy.

It's called "blood dumpster."

Your pilot gave me nightmares.

This is 22 minutes of a guy running down a tunnel.

Wow.

This is a show?

Yes.

And what's with your character, the guy the blades?

What's that?

The dumpster keeper.

Who's going to identify with the dumpster keeper?

I mean, maybe if he were in a motorized

wheelchair, you'd have some sense

of sympathy for him.

Well, it tested well.

I mean, really well.

Brak is nothing without me.

If it weren't for me, he would still be doing a show,

which he's doing now without me.

Can we meet him? Is he here?

Why do you want to meet him?

He's probably drunk.

Really?

Oh, sure, everyone thinks he's cute on the outside,

but on the inside, huh!

His organs are buoys, bouncing around on a sea of gin.

Is that true?

Oh, yeah. What do you think of that, children?

What?

You know, my feelings are so much

deeper and more complex than Brak.

I love more than beans.

Let's just say that.

I loveBicycles.

And there's way more that goes into that.

Well, is Is your bicycle special?

I don't understand.

Yeah, it's special.

My dad threw it at me every chance he got.

That's why I started sleeping in the trees.

He couldn't throw it that high.

Where are you going, reg?

I just had to get some coffee.

Hey, sing a song about my bicycle!

But none of that stuff about my dad and sleeping in trees

and having to eat walnuts and bark for nourishment

And, of course, being called "tree wizard" in school.

Do you have some chords?

Yes, I got some chords.

Space Ghost and his bicycle

much better than just a tricycle

why doesn't he have a rocket-cycle today?

Aah!

Rocket-cycle?

I'll tell you why I don't have a rocket-cycle.

They don't exist!

Now keep going.

That's it.

No, that's not it.

Sing something about how my thighs and How they've developed

from riding the bicycle.

Ahem All right, verse 2.

He rides it all around inside his ship he doesn't go

outside his freakin' ship stop.

Doing lots of flips then I start

to strip hold on. Wait a minute.

Oops.

Your song made me sing horrible things.

Do another song and do it right.

Which one would you like to hear?

Anything by Jim croce.

Let's give him a short one.

You'll give me the long one.

No, dude. A long one?

Zorak, get the candles.

Set the mood.

This isn't going to be allowed on.

Oh, yes, it is.

No, it's not, man.

Some lawyer just called from the label.

We can't clear the song.

What? No lawyer's gonna tell Space Ghost what to do.

Kyle, Jack.

Yeah.

You do your most famous song,

and make sure it's from the new album.

You don't always have to Good king wenceslas looked out

on the feast of Steven winter snow lay roundabout

deep and crisp and even brightly shone the moon that night

though the frost was cruel

when a poor man Time in a bottle

gathering winter fuel hither page and stand by me

if thou knowest it, telling yonder peasant, who is he?

Where and what his dwelling?

Since he lives a good league hence underneath the Mountain

ride against the forest fence by Saint Agnes--

That was very pretty.

Thank you, zorak.

Yes, it was pretty.

I've never heard it live.

That totally rocked.

Hey, Space Ghost.

Some guy up here wants to see you.

Space Ghost, say hey to Satan.

Satan, Space Ghost.

Hello.

Come closer to me.

Go on, man.

Closer.

Go on. Go on.

You here to k*ll me?

Now you listen to me.

I'm here to get you on a sitcom.

You want to get on a sitcom, right?

Can you get me on "the Brak show"?

They have already cast that one.

But I've got some connections with this other show.

But it'll cost you Dearly.

How much?

You'll see.

Wait. What's my motivation?

Yabba-dabba-doo, neighbor!

Space Ghost he's good.