06x12 - Working for the Weeknd

[bunniefuu]

Okay, team, The Weeknd
just announced a super-secret show,

and tickets go on sale
tonight at 9:00 p.m.

Now, if we're gonna get 'em,

we have to execute our plan
perfectly. Neil?

At 8:50, I will enter
my exclusive access code,

which I have written
on this hand.

Nothin' there.

Which I have written
on this hand.

-Ivy?
-Once that's done,

I will put in
my mom's credit card number,

which I have been
authorized to use

up to a certain amount.
No merch.

Then at exactly 8:59
and 59 seconds,

I will choose our seats
and press enter.

Then guess
who's going to The Weeknd?

Ya girl's going
to The Weeknd!

What?
How'd you get tickets?

They're not even on sale yet.

Paige's mom
works at the venue.

She got us VIP tickets.

Paige was allowed
to take one friend,

and she chose me!

You know, it's good to have
VIP friends. No offense.

[laughing] Alice!

My favorite cousin!

Have I told you how much
of my favorite cousin you are?

Forget it.
Paige can't get you tickets.

Well, now you're
my second favorite cousin.

Well, I might be
second favorite cousin,

but I'm first row
at The Weeknd! Chumps.

Did she just call us chumps?

[theme music playing]

♪ Ha-ha!
Lemme tell ya somethin' ♪

♪ Had my vision
all worked out ♪

♪ But then life had
other plans ♪

♪ Tell 'em, Mom ♪

♪ It's crazy when
things turn upside down ♪

♪ But ya gotta get up
and take that chance ♪

♪ New city
I'm finding my way ♪

-♪ It's gonna take some time ♪
-♪ Yeah, we're gonna be okay ♪

-♪ Ya know I got you, right? ♪
-♪ It might be wild ♪

♪ But ya know
that we make it work ♪

♪ We're just fam
caught up in a crazy world ♪

-♪ C'mon! ♪
-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

-♪ We get loud! ♪
-♪ Yeah, Raven's Home ♪

-♪ It's our crowd! ♪
-♪ Might be tough ♪

♪ But together
we make it look good ♪

♪ Down for each other
like family should ♪

-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪
-♪ When it's tough ♪

-♪ Yeah, Raven's Home ♪
-♪ We got love ♪

♪ 'Cause no matter the weather
ya know we gon' shine ♪

♪ There for each other
ya know it's our time ♪

[laughing] Yep! That's us.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Okay. All we have to do
is hit enter,

and those tickets
will be ours.

Yes.

-We're in...
-IVY AND NEIL: Yes!

-...line.
-Argh!

There's a queue.

There are 2,001 people
ahead of us.

VICTOR: How's it goin'
with the tickets?

Terrible.
It's going to take forever!

Well, don't give up.

One of my favorite memories
from high school

is when Chelsea,
Eddie, and I

went to the Boyz 'N Motion
concert.

[squeals] That was a night
I'll never forget.

Also-- Also the night
I was banned

from the San Francisco
Civic Auditorium.

So that's why we couldn't go
see the Harlem Globetrotters.

I got a concert memory
I will never forget.

It was 1981.

The crowd was cheering,

and my track suit
was funky fresh! And then--

And as much as I wanna hear

about the funky fresh
olden days,

we can't risk falling asleep.

Yeah, Dad, let's let them
have their time

-and we can go to bed.
-I'm not sleepy yet.

Why don't you tell yourself
that concert story?

You'll fall asleep.
Let's go.

[computer chimes]

Ooh! The line moved.

We're gonna have to stay up all night
to get those tickets.

Then we're
staying up all night.

♪ ♪

[snoring]

Hey, what're you guys
still doin' here?

Is it morning?

Yeah!

Did you guys get tickets?

ALL THREE:
The tickets!

No, no, no, no, no!

We missed our chance!
Get back in line and refresh!

-Refresh, refresh.
-It's sold out.

This is a nightmare!

Well, I can
get you three tickets...

to some pancakes.

Really? Grandpa? Jokes?
At a time like this?

But we will take
those pancakes, though.

I can't believe
we're not going.

You know, this was supposed
to be the night of our lives.

[whooshing]

This is definitely a night
we'll never forget.

♪ ♪

You guys, I just had
a vision of us at the concert!

How do we get the tickets?

It was a vision, Ivy.

You know I have no clue!

But we can't give up.
Let's go!

You're right, let's take
those pancakes to go.

Hey.

I-- I need your help
picking an outfit for the concert.

Should I wear
this purple shirt,

this purple shirt,

or this purple shirt?

Why don't you wear
the blue one we just bought?

I can't wear blue.

Paige and I agreed that
we would wear purple tops,

white shoes,
and a purple scrunchie.

I mean, how else will people
know we're best friends?

I guess
you could've made signs.

You don't think
that would be too extra?

I thought
that would be too extra.

Now I'm thinking
we should make signs!

Okay. [chuckling]
Hold on now. Calm down.

I didn't know
you and Paige were so tight.

Of course, we are.

I mean, we sit together
at lunch every day,

and of everyone,
she picked me to go to the concert.

-We even finish each other's--
-Sentences?

Whoa, now, Auntie Rae.
Only Paige gets to do that.

So what time
is Paige's mom coming

to pick you up
for the concert?

Uh, I don't know.

I texted Paige,
but she never texted me back.

You're gonna have
so much fun.

I remember my first concert--

-[phone chimes]
-No time, Pop-Pop. It's Paige!

What's wrong?

-She uninvited me.
-What?

She said she was taking me

because her friend Sarah
was out of town,

but Sarah came home early
so Paige is taking her.

I am so sorry, Alice.

Who... Who needs concerts?

You can stay at home with me.

We'll play cards.

I'll throw some salami
on a cr*cker.

I'll even wear purple.

That's okay, Pop-Pop.

I think
I just wanna be alone.

Okay, that hurt my heart.

We can cheer her up.

You get the cards.
I'll get the salami.

Enough with the salami, bruh!

♪ ♪

Hey, good news!

Dave has three tickets
to The Weeknd concert!

-That's great!
-Also, bad news,

they're not for sale.

He's taking his fiancée
and her mother.

Why didn't you
tell me that first?

'Cause I wanted you
to feel the joy

of having tickets
for one second, like I did.

I miss that feeling.

I don't get it.

Your vision said
we were going to that concert.

There's no way anyone's gonna
give up their tickets.

Oh, what just happened?

Apparently, Dave's fiancée saw a text
from his ex-girlfriend,

even though he said
they don't talk anymore.

What? I read lips.

Good to know.

So did we just get tickets
to The Weeknd?

Well, Dave's fiancée,
Sharon, said

she and her mother
would never go to a concert

with a man
who lies and cheats.

Or likes his sheets.

That last part
was hard to read.

This is amazing!

I mean,
not for Dave and Sharon,

but we're going
to the show!

NEIL:
Move it, Dave!

Guys, I found a way
to get tickets.

No need.
We got tickets from Dave.

Oh. Well, that is good news,
because for my thing,

we were gonna have
to do something pretty dark.

I told you guys
this was gonna work.

This is gonna be
the best night of our lives.

Uh, Booker, I think
they're getting back together.

NEIL:
Huh!

So Dave's sister and his ex
have the same name.

So the text his fiancée saw
was actually from his sister.

Oh, what?
You don't read lips?

You think
he forgot about the tickets?

I guess not.

All right, Neil, looks like
we're doing your thing.

NEIL:
Okay.

But...

you two can't tell anyone
where we're going.

Well, we don't know
where we're going.

[whispering] Ivy gets it.

Tasha, I know you'd never
invite me to a concert

and then take another doll.

What's that?

Depends on who it is?
Girl, that's cold.

Look at her. Poor baby.

I can't believe that
ticket taker-backer Paige

uninvited her
to the concert.

You know what?
I'm calling Paige's mama.

No, I'ma call the principal.

Wait a minute!
I'ma call the police.

Rae, that's not gonna
do anything.

Oh, you thinkin'
I should call the FBI?

Yeah, we goin' federal
with this one!

I just hate
seeing her so sad.

She was really excited
to go to that concert.

I know it's tough.

It was always hard

seeing you upset
when you were little,

especially knowing

there was nothing
I could do to fix it.

Sometimes you just gotta
let it work itself out.

You're not gonna let it
work itself out, are you?

You know I'm not
about to do that, Daddy.

Alice, how would you like
to see The Weeknd from backstage?

[gasps] You know someone
who can get us backstage?

No, but you know someone
who can get us backstage.

-Is it you?
-It's me!

♪ ♪

Hey, we have
to get rid of our phones?

Where are we?

Just stay cool.
Follow me.

ANNOUNCER:
Ooh, he's on his back.

Looks like
he's not getting up!

And... it's over, folks!

God, why did you
bring us here?

There's this punk
named Andie

who has three tickets
to the show.

If you wanna go
to that concert,

we got to take
that loudmouth down.

Whoa, whoa, Neil, Neil,

there's no concert tickets
worth fighting over.

What? No.
I'm not gonna fight for it.

No, I'm gonna race for it.

Well, I'm not.

Donashello is!

Any other takers?

Anybody else wanna
come up here

and try
to get these tickets?

Yeah, I'll take
some of that action.

Oh, look who decided
to show his face.

You wanna
get dusted again, Neil?

Oh, not today, Andie.

Donashello and I
have been training hard.

You can't tell,

but she is shredded
under that shell.

We're taking you down.

All right, if you win,
you get these tickets.

But if I win,
you know what I want.

Wh-- Wh-- Wh--
What does she want?

Don't worry about it.

I'm not gonna lose.
Let's do this.

All right, buddy.
No pressure.

But the only thing
standing between my friends

and the best night
of our lives is this race.

But, again, no pressure.

You here to run your mouth
or run this race?

Can't I do both?

[buzzer buzzing]

Go, Donashello!
Mama needs tickets.

And so does Daddy!

I just made it weird,
didn't I?

Look at her go!
She's like lightning!

H-- H-- How long
does this usually take?

Well, last time,
she finished in 10 flat.

Hours or days?

♪ ♪

This is so exciting,
Auntie Rae!

You know, I'm glad
Paige uninvited me.

Being backstage
is gonna be way better!

So what's the plan?

Alice, please.

I have my own TV show, okay?

I'm a celebrity, all right?

The rules
are different for us.

Just follow me.
We'll walk right in.

You're not on the list.
You're not coming in.

I don't care
if you are Tom Holland.

[bouncer grunts]

We gon' need a new plan.

♪ ♪

Hey, hey, the racers are
nearing the finish line.

Where's Ivy?

You bought a T-shirt?

I thought your mom said
you couldn't buy merch.

Don't worry.

I bought her one too.

Donashello's winning!

Those tickets
are as good as ours!

Look at her! There's no way
she can lose now!

♪ ♪

No!

No!

I won!

Looks like
I'm going to The Weeknd,

and I got a prom date.

Right, Neil?

That was the agreement.

I will unblock your number
so we can discuss the details.

Oh, and
get Donashello a sitter,

you're gonna be out late!

Wait, she's gonna be
your date?

Hey, I knew the risks
going in, all right?

Look, when you turtle race,

you either go big
or you go to prom.

I guess we're not going
to that concert after all.

Hey, wait, I've got,
like, 40 messages from Dave.

He and his fiancée
broke up again.

He left us his tickets
at the box office!

Wait-- Well,
we only have 15 minutes.

We have to get there
before they shut the doors!

And before Dave and Sharon
fall in love again

and ruin our night.
Let's go!

♪ ♪

I can't believe you just
had this outfit in your car.

Alice, a woman should
never be without lipstick,

strong breath mints,

and a disguise kit
with at least seven wigs.

So how am I getting
into this concert?

Well, I'm going
to pose as Tugboat.

[in a deep voice]
Yeah, I'm a seasoned roadie

that's been on tour
with the likes of Pink Floyd

and-- and Pit Bull. Yeah.

The road is my only life.

I got no home.
I got no family.

[in normal voice]
I got no health insurance.

Okay, so--
so what's my backstory?

You're crate.

Get in!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So here's
what's gonna happen.

We're gonna get in there,

I'm gonna open it up,
let you out.

And bam!
Backstage at The Weeknd!

Auntie Rae,
can't I just be a roadie?

[in a deep voice] Little girl.

That's against union rules.

And the name is Tugboat.

[in normal voice]
Good in there?

[squeals] Okay.

Get ready, Alice.
We're getting in, okay?

[clears throat]

[in a deep voice] Hey, what's up, brother?
How you doing?

Yeah, cool. So listen.

I got a crate here
full of, uh, extension cords

for The Weeknd's air fryer,

uh, mini toaster,
and mini fridge.

You know the rock stars
and their small appliances.

[chuckling]
You know what I mean?

Oh, thanks, man. Yeah.

Ooh, it's heavy!
I'll do it, though.

Don't worry about it, bro.
I got it, right?

Equality, man. Equality.

Man, I love roadie life.

Making sure the amps are amped
and the speakers speaking.

This guy knows.
You know, right, bro?

Yeah, you do. Yeah.

[in normal voice] Right.
Coast is clear, Alice. Here we go.

Hey, I need you
to come with me.

[in a deep voice]
Yeah, yeah, fo sho, man.

But, um,
can I bring my crate?

What? No.

Rooster'll take the crate.

I need you
to pull some stingers.

Direct support
goes on in 30.

Yeah, uh-- Hey, hey, hey, bro,
you can't take this.

There's a really important
piece of equipment in there.

Don't worry.
Rooster's real careful.

Okay. All right.

-[thuds]
-Oh, careful, Rooster!

Those extension cords are as delicate
as a 10-year-old girl,

which... they are... not.

Hey! I need you
to plug this in.

RAVEN: Yeah, for sure.
I will plug that in.

Where's the plug at?
Where is it?

Where is the plug?

-Up there.
-Where?

Oh, my.
Alice, hold on!

Auntie Tugboat's
comin' for you.

♪ ♪

Come on, Booker. We only got 11 minutes
until the concert starts.

Oh, we're really flying now.

Look at all that steam
coming out the engine.

There's not supposed to be steam
coming out the engine.

In that case,
we have a problem.

[engine sputters]

The car is dead!
What do we do now?

We find a new set of wheels.

All right, don't worry, Janine,
okay?

Daddy will be back.

You are making it weird again.

My bad.

♪ ♪

-You plug in that cable?
-Yeah, sure did.

I don't know
what I plugged it into.

I had my eyes closed.

Tugboat don't do heights.

-All right, well, now I need--
-Uh, you know what, brother?

No. I'm not gonna do that.

Because I am late
for my break.

Unless you wanna
pay me overtime.

Whoa, whoa. We don't use
the O-word around here.

-Okay, get to breaking.
-Okay. Good.

Break on.

I gotta find Alice.

Hey, great idea, Ivy!

We're definitely gonna make
The Weeknd now!

Booker, why're you stopping?

My battery's going dead.

Go-- Go ahead.
I'll catch up.

Oh, no, mine's dying too!

Don't worry,
I'll get those tickets

and I'll hold
the door open for ya.

I'm coming, The Weeknd!

And... my battery died,
didn't it?

Yeah.

-What now?
-I know. Follow me.

♪ ♪

[train rattling]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[Alice grunting]

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
The Weeknd!

-[music playing]
-[crowd cheering]

Yes!

RAVEN: Alice, there you are.
Thank goodness!

This is awesome!
The Weeknd is right there!

I know. I told you
my disguise would work.

Do they always work?

[sputters] Enough.
To where I keep on doing it.

You good?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm backstage
at The Weeknd,

having a great time.

This is better
than VIP seats.

Having a great time.

No, you're not.

No, I'm not.

I-- I don't understand.

I'm at the concert,
so why am I still sad?

Well, maybe
it's not about the concert.

It's about you going
to the concert with Paige.

What did I do? Why does she not wanna
go to the concert with me?

No, no, no. It has nothing
to do with you.

This is not about you, okay?

It still hurts.

Of course, it hurts.
And I hate that.

That's why
I brought you here,

so you don't have
to think about it.

Yeah.

And it worked.

For a second.

Yeah, I had a lot of time
to think in that crate.

The truth is
you're growing up,

and a lot of things
are gonna happen,

and it's going to hurt.

Mm, I guess
my dad was right.

I can't fix it, but I could
always be here for you.

Well, if you gotta hurt,

hurting backstage
at The Weeknd

is a pretty good place
to do it.

Okay!

Thanks for being there
for me, Auntie.

Always and forever.

What do you think
you're doing?

[in a deep voice] You know,
we just chilling back here.

You know, kick-- kicking it.

About to get kicked out of here.

Wait, wait, wait.
Hold up, hold up.

-You are forgetting something.
-What's that?

Your union-mandated break.

Oh, good looking out,
Tugboat.

Ha-ha!
I'll be back in 15.

-Okay.
-20, tops.

[chuckles] Right.

[in normal voice]
You know what that means?

We got 19 minutes to dance.

Yeah!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Booker!
You don't have to carry me.

I just said
I had to stop and tie my shoe.

Yeah, and I said
there's no time!

Ivy, move it!

[panting]
You guys, it's too late.

No. No, don't give up.

I can carry you too.
Get on Neil's back.

-Yeah.
-No. No, no. no.

It's 8:00.
They won't let us in.

We're not going
to the concert.

I don't get it.

My vision said we were supposed to be
at that concert.

All I wanted is for us to have a night
we would never forget.

Well, I know
I'll never forget

Ivy dangling
from that pedicab.

That was embarrassing.

Thank you so much for driving.
Five stars.

Yeah? Well, I'm not the one
who got a prom date

by losing
an underground turtle race.

Did I lose
or did Donashello throw it?

All right, she's been trying
to get Andie and I together for a while.

Haven't you, girl?

Oh, yeah,
and when Janine broke down,

I thought Booker's head
was gonna explode.

Hey-- Hold on.
I kept it cool.

Okay, I could've kept it
a little cooler.

Hey, you know what?

I don't think getting
into that concert

was supposed to be
our big senior year memory.

I think the crazy day we just had
trying to get in was.

Yeah.

This is definitely
a night we'll never forget.

Hey, Neil, have you been
wearing Donashello

under your shirt all day?

Well, I wear Donashello
under my shirt every day.

Good... to... know.

[concert crowd cheering]

♪ ♪

I never realized going to concerts
makes you so hungry.

It's not the going
that makes you hungry,

it's the getting chased out.

Now that you're home,

I'm gonna tell you about
my favorite concert memory.

-I'm good.
-I'll pass.

Don't do that.

You're in my house,
eating my food.

You gonna listen to my story.

It was 1981.

The room was packed.

The crowd was wild.

And Run-DMV was about
to take the stage.

Dad, I think
you mean Run-DMC.

When I was in it,
it was called Run-DMV.

And in case
you haven't caught up,

the V stood
for your boy... Victor.

Wait a minute. Hold on.

How did I not know
you were in Run-DMC?

Because you never let me
finish the story!

[chuckling] Hold up.

Are you trying to say
you were a rapper?

You tell me.

♪ ♪

♪ I was walking
down the street ♪

♪ And saw a honey
named Tanya ♪

♪ She was hot and fresh
like my mama's lasagna ♪

Okay. Okay, man.

That's my mama
you talking about.

And my granny!

♪ I smelled her perfume ♪

♪ It was nice and fruity ♪

♪ And when she walked away
I saw her-- ♪

Okay! Okay.
You two, up into the bed!

Y'all just-- Night-night.

And you...

You, sir,
you gon' call my mama

and apologize
for getting nasty.

♪ ♪