01x21 - Deathlok

[bunniefuu]

Oh, man, this is not good.

The parking lot's empty.

Which means, this place is dead.

No girls, no arcade, probably a lame-o food court.

Court of food? The fewer people here, the better.

I hate this place.

You just hate it because you don't want to freak people out! But we're gonna fix that.

Courtesy of the flyer I got for this mall! Today only, 70% off all fashion accessories! Sounds like Greenie's going to get a makeover! There's some lipstick for you.

Whoa! It's packed! I guess everybody used underground parking.

Scared.

What'd I tell you? Fear? All I smell is respect.

Sure, we punch planets, wrestle dinosaurs, and got a talking jet, but we're also mall-goers.

Just like you.

If people stop to get to know us better, they might see that.

Oh, come on.

I'm a 68 double-long.

What if I get into action? I can't move! Aw, this is a terrible color.

Lots of heroes go incognito.

Think of it as urban camouflage.

Jen, this is stupid.

People know a monster when they see one.

We'll take it.

Yum! That's right, Skaar, it's the food court.

A buffet of international eateries.

You got American, Churro Republic, and my favorite, Pretzella stand.

Actually not sure where pretzels come from, but, I'll show you where they're going.

They're going in my mouth! Hey.

You got a problem, rent-a-badge? What is that? What is that? A robot? Whatever it is, he's got "smash" written all over his ugly mug.

Transit complete.

Acquire target.

Scanning.

Invalid targets.

Seriously? Five minutes into shopping, and already, some tin-plated maniac is causing trouble.

Scanning.

Primary target acquired.

Activate weapons.

He's after the girl! Hulk! No! Reacquire target.

Eliminate target.

Huh? Please, don't hurt me.

No! Help! Fear not, damsel in distress! A-b*mb is Okay.

Check you later.

Ow.

Jen, protect the girl.

Skaar, check on A-b*mb.

Red, clear the civilians! This creep is all mine.

Well, what are you waiting for? Run, you puny punks! Being scary does come in handy.

Picking on a kid? You're even meaner than you look.

That's a bull's-eye, Greenie! You're supposed to help me.

We can't let that monster Monster? They're called teenage girls.

And, yeah, I don't understand them either, but I know a blaster in the face is not a good opener! And I thought I was scary-looking.

This is the last guy that should be calling anyone a monster.

Where are you taking me? Far away from the trigger-happy metal head.

Wait! Are you, like, a dude or a robot? Or some kind of robo-dude? You hit him high, and I'll punch him everywhere else! You idiots.

Do I have to pound it through your thick skulls? That ain't a girl! You okay? Don't be afraid.

I'm here to help you.

Don't Need - Help! - What are you? You better hope you missed.

A lot of heavy a*tillery just to take out a kid.

Target reacquired.

Beware, she's Silence! Girl's back with her parents.

We need to take him out.

Directive, destroy.

All right, you chromed-out phantom of the opera.

This is the part where you give up.

Or get smashed.

Listen, idiot.

She is not your friend.

She's a shape-shifting alien, and she's about to take over your planet.

Trust me.

Trust a zombie robot? What, you going to have Red Skull come and vouch for you? Robo-creep's telling the truth.

Smash her! - She stole my look! - Smash her! So, he's not lying, but one of them is? Skaar's head muscle hurt.

'Bout time you dimwits caught on.

- sh**t her.

- No, sh**t her! Wait! How do you know which is which? Doesn't matter.

Yeah, it does matter, Tex.

You took out both of them, including our friend.

We still don't know which is which.

Can't recognize your own cousin? You gonna give me a hand, or what? Ironhide wasn't kidding about aliens.

It's a super-Skrull.

Top dog in a violent race of world-conquering shape shifters.

This creep copied all the Fantastic Four's powers.

Mr.

Fantastic's stretchability, The Thing's tremendous strength, Sue Richards' ability to turn invisible, and the Human Torch, biggest hothead of the bunch.

Super-Skrull can mimic 'em all.

Shape shifting's a handy power.

You know, I wouldn't mind being able to walk into a movie.

Without sending the crowd running.

So, like, what's your deal, dude? You some kind of "k*ller robot"? Half-robot.

A cyborg.

Created by a project code-named Deathlok.

Deathlok! I'm gonna name my band after you.

You're not into it? I was sent here to stop super-Skrull.

From wiping out every human on Earth.

You dumb apes nearly blew it.

First off, not dumb.

Just because we're big doesn't make us stupid.

And when a half-metal freak shows up and starts blasting, I start smashing.

You could have hurt a lot of innocent people, too.

Not so sure they're innocent.

Knew I hated the mall.

Heads up, troops.

Super-Skrull just went invisible girl! Your unexpected arrival has forced me to accelerate.

Our plans to end your inferior species.

But patience never was my strong suit.

Huh? Where is he? Take care of them while I ready the weapon.

We've got a planet to wipe clean.

Wipe clean? Stay on him! Can't let him set off whatever planet-busting doomsday gimmick he's got.

Got one mission.

Save the Earth.

Don't plan on failing.

You know, we should have seen this coming.

I call the green ones! Hulks are scary.

There's too many! They can't copy our strength, so the facelifts won't help them much.

That so? Again? I'm the real me, you half-tin sideshow! Guess that makes them the Skrulls.

What? You too ugly to copy? Not exactly.

Machinery.

They can't mimic it.

But you know all about that.

Don't you, Skrull? I got him, D-lok! Red! They're using confusion, and it's working.

We got to organize.

Wait a minute.

How do I know that you're the real you? 'Cause I've been drinking all your chocolate milk.

What? We got to flatten this mob now.

Hulks! Thunderclap! So, your fancy pants computer brain got a bead.

On where that unoriginal alien got off to? Down.

Beats waiting for the elevator.

After you.

Trust him? One look at Deathlok, and you know he has only one purpose.

Destruction.

So, no, I don't think so.

Oh, great! We're in that stupid gadget store.

The one with the massage chairs and the astronaut pens.

Skrull base.

Know 'em all too well.

Sure, I pegged Deathlok as a bad guy.

But he's kind of awesome with his robo eyeball.

I got to copy his video footage.

I'm A-b*mb, by the way.

In case you wanted to know, or Whatever.

I know who you are.

Seen your show.

Whoa, wait.

What, seriously? Like, on purpose, you watched it? Guys, it's cool! He's a fan! Not a fan.

Came with my mission download.

It's how we knew it happened today.

Your broadcast was the last footage of old Earth.

What do you mean, "old Earth"? And "last footage"? And "down load"? I knew you wouldn't get it.

That's why I didn't tell you before.

Try me.

On this date, the Skrulls successfully wipe out all life on the planet.

And terraform the scorched Earth to resettle it.

Are you saying you're from the future? An unlucky survivor.

Hold up, hold on.

This dude is from the future? Mind Blown.

This way.

Stay out of sight.

What are those pointy-eared elves up to? They ain't building toys for Santa.

No expl*sives.

No gas.

No laser.

What weapon could they be using? When in doubt, smash! What do you want with Earth? It has strategic value to us.

An outpost from which we can conquer other worlds.

These Skrulls are all cowards.

They are good at running away.

Don't worry.

We'll be back to clean up when it's over.

Uh, he's going to burn us to ashes, isn't he? Rest in pieces, Hulks.

- After him! - It's too hot! Mission failure.

No, shut up! It's not over! Duck and cover! You know, you kind of get used to the blazing inferno after a minute.

- Just like a hot bath.

- That's 'cause it's moving away from us.

It's a spaceship blasting off, genius.

The mall's a spaceship? Bye, court of food.

And good-bye, Earth.

Okay, Hulks.

To the jump jet.

We can't stop them now.

My temporal computer has calculated my mission as a failure.

There's no changing the future.

Earth is finished.

Save the Doom and gloom, Deathlok.

Your computer didn't factor us in.

And the Skrull haven't flipped the switch yet.

So, let me guess.

We're going back to the mall? Yep.

The hard way.

This Skrull ship ain't got much for a*tillery, or they'd have blown us straight out of the sky! Analysis complete.

No expl*sive compounds present.

Impossible! Records show Earth's temperature hit over 200 degrees globally today.

Only the heat from a massive blast could do that.

Maybe you're missing something.

Heat doesn't always mean an expl*si*n.

It's an ambush! Who-faces dead ahead! Got this.

Puny copycats.

Where's the King fraud and his weapon? Unless you want a face like mine, start talking.

The controls are up.

Weapons down.

The super-Skrull will be up! Weapon is down.

Red, A-b*mb, Skaar, smash it! She-Hulk, stick with me.

I want to keep a close eye on Mr.

Deathbot.

Let's do this! Whoa! Bet you he knows where the weapon is.

Come on, boys! Spread out.

We'll find 'em.

Little green man in here somewhere.

- Where did he go? - Ah, he got past us.

Uh why floor open? Aw, crackers! Man, I hate Skrulls.

The weapon control has got to be on that central console.

And if we can't shut it down manually, I've got an option.

Directive.

In event of mission failure, initiate self-destruct sequence.

Might be strong enough to take the controls out.

Hey.

We're stopping this, and we're all going home.

Stop it, maybe.

But I'm not going back home.

There's no return ticket for me.

Me of all people should have known better.

Had Deathlok figured for a bad guy 'cause of his look, but turns out, he's as brave as they come.

He gave up everything to save a world he can't return to.

I'm gonna make sure his trip's worth it.

They're down.

Let's move! Mainframe locked.

Run decryption.

Wait! Stop! These creeps tried to dump us off the ship, but we found out their secret! Where's pink Hulk? She is safe.

Do not worry! I'm not.

Idiot.

He served his purpose.

You, however, have failed your mission.

Today, the Earth burns.

No way.

Phony Skaar! No, dude, it's your reflection, and it's Ow! Hot, hot, hot! Back inside! Aw, afraid of a little sunburn? Yes.

Ow! Very.

Directed energy weapon! How did I not see it? You boil the ocean, fly home, and come back to start fresh? It served us well in many star systems.

Not this one.

Help the others smash the mirror.

While I pancake Mr.

global warming.

On it! Get off my planet! We're standing right on the back of it.

- Got to find a weak spot.

- Or make one.

Easy! Seriously, what have we got against elevators today? Just in time to give us a hand.

The ship's interior is built like crepe paper, but the hull is some kind of super dense alien metal.

Need big smash! You guys always break everything? Yeah.

It's kind of our thing.

Huh? Sit tight, gorgeous.

Everyone, smash the center.

At this rate, we'll never smash through in time.

Temperature rising at an exponential rate.

- Initiate self-destruct sequence.

- No! Your world doesn't have much use for a monster like me.

At least I can try and take this thing with me.

You got two minutes.

No way! Get off me! Jen, get that core out of him, and jam it into the crack.

The blast might be enough to split the mirror.

Take your teammates and go.

This tech is far too advanced for - Oh.

- The world thinks we're monsters too.

But we're the only thing standing between it and destruction.

Ha! In your fake face, you face stealer! Hey! The Skrull's getting away! Dang, I wanted to gloat.

He'll get what he deserves.

Come on, Deathlok.

We'll get you fixed up back at the base.

Everybody, make for the jump jet, now! And don't you worry.

I know a thing or two about breaking mirrors.

This will work.

That's worth seven years bad luck! Booyah! Hold still.

Had Tony Stark special deliver that thing.

It ought to work.

Speaking of special deliveries, I see you got my invitation.

You sent us this flier from the future.

To get us to the mall! Mind Blown again.

You're welcome to stay with us.

Make your home here.

We know what it's like to be feared.

Only people who should fear you are the bad guys.

And maybe mall owners.

Thanks for the offer.

But I studied this world for my mission, and dreamed of seeing it for myself.

Well, Jen's heart was in the right place.

With the trench coat disguise.

But no one should have to hide who they are.

Not even a time-traveling cyborg.

Hulk out.