01x12 - Behold the Negative Zone

[bunniefuu]

Yo, friends, that's right, it's me

your blue-eyed, blushin',

ever-lovin' Thing.

Hey, right now,

for a limited time only

you can watch me stomp

the stuffings out of Terrax

Super Skrull, The Sub Mariner

and a whole mess

of other famous grungy creeps.

Thanks to the Fantastic Four's

own home video

my greatest adventures

are now yours to enjoy

when you buy

my famous collector's edition tape

called It's Clobberin' Time!

starring yours truly.

Hey, it's only a measly 29.95.

So get off your butts, get on the phone

whip out some of that plastic

and let me hear that

cash register go ding-a-ling-a-dong.

Everybody here at HTSN

is thrilled that The Thing picked us

to make this wonderful video

available to you

but you better hurry.

Ben said he had a surprise for me

but what's he doing selling video tapes?

I'll tell you what he's doing,

he's disgracing this building and me.

Everyone in New York

knows that moronic orange dump-truck

lives here, Mrs. Richards.

I sympathize, Miss Forbes,

but Ben's an adult. I can't control him.

Then perhaps Dr. Richards can.

Come along, Foo Foo.

Computer, lock coordinates

with Hubble Telescope

and access

image-enhancement protocols.

Coordinates

locked, protocols accessed.

Interfacing. Stand by

to record my observations.

Recording.

Amazing! Matter runs down into

that black hole like water down a drain.

But if my theory is correct,

it will enter a negative zone

and become anti-matter as it exits.

Then, as it recirculates,

transforms itself into

Good grief! It's the Negative Zone

planetary system itself!

Its planets orbit

the backwash of a black hole

instead of around a sun.

One of the planets

seems to be a worid of inversión.

Gravity and physical laws reversed

with strange, dreadful

inhabitants of unbelievable power.

What?

I want your undivided attention,

Dr. Richards.

So I pulled your plug.

I'm sorry, sweetheart,

she insisted on seeing you.

Very well, but disconnecting

my experiment when you did

was unwise and dangerous,

Miss Forbes.

The forces I was monitoring are very

powerful, their effects unpredictable.

- Look out!

- What's happening?

- Gor blimey!

- Reed!

Big time bizarre.

Now you've put a hole in my wall.

Reed, what is that?

Reed, what is he?

I don't know, but something caused

a tear in the fabric of our dimensión

and he came out of it.

You have nothing to fear from us.

We will not harm you.

Get away from me,

you grotesque cucaracha.

Yaaah!

- Johnny!

- Flame on!

It's a stand-off.

I don't think he's afraid of fire.

Oh, my!

That entrance to whatever.

Something else is coming!

I've got to seal it off

before we get any more strange visitors.

This will destroy

the value of my property

and it's all your fault!

Oh, darling, you did it.

That's only part of the problem.

That insectoid creature

is loose somewhere in New York.

And we don't know how dangerous it is.

We've got to find it

and send it back where it came from.

Come on, out there,

keep ordering my video.

It's a lot better than them crummy

porcelain pigs they usually sell here.

crummy porcelain pigs

they usually sell here

I don't know what you want, ace

but we aren't hosting

a Halloween party here. Get lost.

What is it with you?

Don't you understand English?

I did not but now I do!

I am Annihilus

lord of the Planet Tyanna.

I herewith claim this worid!

Accept my rule or die!

Yes, shut ins,

these enchanting porcelain pigs

from the Age of Enlightenment

are next

here on the Home Town

Shopping Network.

Ask for Sir Reginald Swine

at only 79.95.

Then you can buy his friend,

Lady Fanny Pork for $59

You can't come in here. We're on air.

- Hey.

- Ben, we need you.

- Hurry.

- Give me a raincheck, Stretcho.

I still got tapes to unload.

But a strange creature from another

dimensión is loose in the city.

Whoa, hey, hey! What's with you?

This is serious, Ben.

This city and perhaps the worid

itself is in grave danger.

This is Sam Jaggers of Hard News

on special assignment in New York City

where you are watching

an incredible insectoid mutant

calling himself Annihilus

as he constructs what appears

to be his living quarters

high above the fashionable midtown area.

And it looks like the law has finally

decided to do something

about this weird intruder.

Let's listen in.

You, there on the building.

You're trespassing

and have no building permit.

For the last time,

cease and desist or we'll arrest you.

Ahhh!

Prepare to disengage. Disengage!

Do the pincers movement,

Johnny. Now!

The choppers

are in free fall. Hurry!

- Got 'em, sis.

- Great work, Sue, Johnny.

Set them down safely

and join Ben and me as soon as possible.

We've got to learn exactly

what we're dealing with.

We mean you no harm.

Stay back, or be destroyed!

We can help you

return to your own dimensión.

Yeah, Bug Eyes,

we want to be pals.

Keep back!

Back!

He appears to be priming

his control rod for maximum power.

On three, focus all

positive energy beams on him.

One, two, now!

Uhhh!

Anti-matter shards!

Refocus your energy beams now!

Hey, look at the Whosis!

He's dematerialized.

And there's no way to know where

he'll come back into this dimensión.

We've got to do some homework, fast.

How can we defeat someone whose

power equals anything we throw at him?

The problem's worse than that.

Our energy derives from our dimensión.

His emanates from

the anti-matter Negative Zone

which exists inside

a mysterious black hole in space.

Right. It's all on account

of the anti-matter no parking zone.

Thanks for clearing things up.

Where's Waldo Pizza? You find us

no matter where we are?

Yeah, it's me again.

Give me the pepperoni, salami,

garlic combo with anchovies.

Oh, but hold the onions.

You see, I got a lady friend visiting.

I hope I'm not interrupting.

You've been working so long

I thought you might enjoy a tea break.

Oh, thank you, Alicia.

I always love watching Ben

stick out his little finger

when he slurps out of the saucer.

Hey, hey,

don't knock my manners, firefly.

I ain't the one

who eats chicken soup with his hands.

Reed, the inter-dimensional doorway.

Free! Free!

In a new dimensión to conquer! Ha ha!

Annihilus, I would know his stench

even on the Dead Plains

of the Jackal Worid of Arrrl!

Hey, I like this guy.

He makes me look like

Brian Austin Green.

There's no room for Annihilus and me.

I am Blastaar!

I must rule alone!

Raarrgghh!

Raarrgghh!

I don't like this.

Our problem has just more than doubled.

Unless we can find a way to counter

the effects of anti-matter in this

dimensión, our worid is doomed.

We must follow him.

I'm giving it everything,

but that blue-whiskered jerk

is still ahead of us.

Ahhh, sustenance.

What the?

Aaaah!

Good!

Eat heartily, Annihilus,

it is your last meal.

Come now, I must practice

the language of this new dimensión

which I shall conquer and plunder.

Yaaar!

Let me hear you say

farewell to your life!

Arrghh!

You were right, Blastaar!

There will be no sharing.

Earth will be mine alone!

Amazing! According to my sensors

Annihilus has absorbed enough radiation

to vaporize New York.

But his system has converted it

into non-radioactive anti-matter.

It's clobberin' time!

Yeow! Ooof!

I'm sorry, Officer,

I didn't see the off ramp.

Only one of us

shall remain to rule!

I invoke the challenge of Algestus Kax!

A fight to the death. Winner take all!

I accept.

And the choice of field is mine!

There on the highest battlement.

We meet in one hour,

earth time!

That doesn't give us much time

to learn how to neutralize them.

If we don't find a way to return

them to the Negative Zone

the human race could become sl*ves

to either Blastaar or Annihilus.

It's like the door into

the Negatory Zone wasn't never there.

That's because the precise moment

in which a confluence of diverse

energy-producing events

caused a tear

in our dimensional fabric has passed.

But Blastaar and Annihilus will meet

in combat in less than 40 minutes.

And we don't have the resources

to defeat them. Is it hopeless?

No, Sue. Not if we find the key to

re-open that inter-dimensional doorway.

I've reproduced

the experiment I was working on

when the tear in

the dimensional fabric appeared.

But so far it hasn't produced results.

It's pizza guy!

Okay, who belongs to the pepperoni,

salami, garlic combo?

Is pizza the surprise

you promised me, Ben?

No way. Just wait.

My surprise is a doozy.

Ah, yo, pizza guy.

We get your combo.

- Reed, a combo!

- Of course!

It was a combination

of energy-related events

that ripped a hole

in this dimensión in the first place.

That was brilliant, sweetheart!

I thought so too.

I learned from the best.

I I don't get it.

We're going to re-create

the exact combination of events

which tore the fabric of

this dimensión

and pray it's the key

to the Negative Zone.

Ben, you must get

the Home Town Shopping Network

to re-run your appearance at once.

Say what?

Yo, friends, that's right, it's me

your blue-eyed, blushin',

ever-lovin' Thing.

Right now, for a limited time only

While I was tapping into

the Telescope's coverage

of that black hole in space

Ben was on the Home Town

Shopping Network

which was receiving thousands of calls

by way of a communications satellite.

I believe a spontaneous

interface took place

which was then interrupted.

Now, Miss Forbes, please.

This is the most ridiculous

exercise in stupidity I

Just pull the c*ck plug!

Oh, yes, yes, of course, of course!

And be sure Foo Foo barks.

His sound is part

of the energy equation.

Oh, speak, Foo Foo, speak.

Bark, you shrimp.

- It's happening!

- Way to go!

Good grief!

It worked! Now to reprogram

the Fantasticar

for inter-dimensional travel.

And then to the top

of The Worid Trade Center.

Blastaar and Annihilus should be

facing off for the final conflict

in exactly 12 minutes.

Can't you wait to observe protocol?

I have no patience for ritual.

Die, usurper!

There isn't a moment to spare.

The buildings are shaking down

to their foundations.

Your new doohickey sure don't look

like much. What if it don't work?

Then we could be stuck

in the Negative Zone forever.

At least the worid would be free

of Blastaar and Annihilus.

Ready, Johnny, Ben, Sue?

- All set.

- Yes.

One for the money,

two for the show

- Now!

- Flame on!

Geronimo!

Hurry, Ben, Johnny.

I can't hold them much longer.

Uh! Haagh!

Gotcha!

Now drive us through

the spaceltime barrier

into the Negative Zone.

Release me!

I do not wish to return now!

When I jettison cargo

hold on tight and whatever you do

don't open your eyes.

Ready? Jettisoning!

You shall pay for this indignity!

All who meddle

with the will of Blastaar die!

They're coming right at us!

I said close your eyes!

Oh, Ben, you're back safely.

The inter-dimensional window which

opened onto the Negative Zone

has been sealed.

Which leaves only one question

still unanswered.

What was Ben doing

on the Home Town Shopping Network?

I needed a little bread

for Alicia's surprise.

Here, kid. You can even ride it

to the supermarket.

Oh, Ben!