02x02 - Inhumans Saga, Part 1: And the Wind Cries Medusa

[bunniefuu]

[sighs]

There ain't enough petunias

in all of Poughkeepsie

to make a girl forget about this mug.

That is, if I still even have a girl.

Sheesh, I been so busy

workin' on the new headquarters,

I ain't made the time

I should've to see Alicia.

Especially since I got turned back

into this big pile of ugly orange brick.

Agh! Who am I kiddin'?

Alicia's probably found

somebody else by now.

Somebody who doesn't look

like a bad blend

of Frankenstein and Mount Rushmore.

- Agh!

- [screaming]

- [woman] Help!

- What?

[screaming]

- Help me!

- Hey, hang on, lady!

Here comes 500lbs

of grumpy gravel to the rescue.

Ah,

looks like it's your lucky day, lady.

And you just crapped out, mister.

Jeez. What? Hey, I didn't mean

to make you wet yourself.

Ha, ha, ha.

It's not that easy to hurt Hydroman.

This ain't doin' wonders

for my lousy mood, lady.

Now, are you in trouble or what?

No, Benjamin Grimm, you are.

[roars]

I'll take it from here, Medusa.

If you think

a little shock in the shorts

can keep me from clobberin' you

Hmm, your strength is even

more impressive than rumored.

Trapster, paste him down.

It's a pleasure, Wizard.

Agh!

One size fits all.

Behold, as my id machine

brainwashes Mr. Ben Grimm.

Weakening the good part of his character

and strengthening the bad.

Ha, ha, ha.

[Ben] Argh!

That's enough, Wizard,

you're k*lling him.

No, my dear Medusa.

Especially Reed Richards.

No, he's best friend.

Friend? Reed Richards, you call friend?

He who foolishly exposed you

to unknown cosmic rays?

Resulting in your becoming

the hideous creature you are today?

Grr!

My dear Benjamin Grimm,

Reed Richards destroyed your life.

No.

Yes.

Reed Richards did this to me.

Made me into a thing.

And for that Reed Richards must die!

[Sue] There's nothing like

home, sweet home. Huh, darling?

You'd think these guys

were working for Doctor Doom.

Destroying the Baxter Building

is getting to be a real growth industry.

Well, now, we'll anticipate better luck

with our new Four Freedoms Plaza.

But I am explaining

why I was two hours late.

You think your average sicko villain

cares about my social life?

- So, about that movie.

- [dead line]

Hello? Hello?

Aw

- Maybe if I had my own digs

- Johnny, we've discussed this.

Let me guess. Uh, girlfriend trouble?

No trouble, no girlfriend.

Yeah, now, there's a bad joke.

The Human Torch

can't even find a real flame.

Even our ever-lovin' blue-eyed

rockpile has a steady girl.

Then why does he keep ignoring her?

[all] Alicia!

I know you've all been busy,

but Ben hasn't called

or come to visit me for days.

So I thought I'd

Alicia, Ben left for your place

last night.

But he never arrived.

[Sue] Don't worry, dear, we'll find him.

- Fantastic Four, come in.

- It's Ben!

Hustle your blue-eyed butts down to the

warehouse at Front and Third, pronto.

You ain't gonna believe

what I got for you.

- You better stay in the car.

- But, but I

No, no, Alicia, Johnny's right.

You'll be safe here on the roof.

No telling what Ben's found inside.

Looks like Ol' Blue Eyes

is here all right.

- Ben?

- Yeah, come on in, pal.

I've been waitin' for you.

It's a trap.

And I'm the Trapster.

Poetic, huh?

Flame on!

Hydroman!

This oughta light your fire, boy!

Hey, stop babying me, Sis,

I coulda outrun that bilge bucket.

Sorry, little brother.

Johnny.

Impressive power, Susan Richards,

but less then nothing

compared to Madam Medusa's.

Ugh!

Ha, ha, ha. Who are these creeps?

[screaming]

Phew, did you get a load of her?

I go for redheads in a big way.

Ah, save it, Johnny.

Are, are you all right, dear?

Ha, ha. How sickeningly touching

and how inevitably futile.

Get outta the way!

It's about time you showed up,

you big galoot.

Ben! Are you all right?

How can I ever be all right,

you ego-loaded egghead?

Your harebrained schemes

turned me into this monster.

Ben, stop!

What are you saying?

Back off, toots.

Nothing personal but I'm about

to make a widow outta you.

Johnny, I'll get

Welcome

to my shrinking-paste bubble, doll.

It's gonna take

all of your force-field energy

just to keep it from crushing you.

He's right.

I don't know

what they've done to you but

Done, ha, ha.

I'll tell you what they've done.

They've helped me see you

for what you are, Richards.

My worst enemy.

- Ouch!

- Reel it in, you big gorilla.

- I don't want to burn you.

- Shakin' in my orange bootees!

I've been waitin' to do this for years.

Old Sparky here is all yours.

Now your Bunsen burner brother-

in-law can't protect you,

I'm gonna crush the bounce outta you.

Patience, my friend, patience.

First let Richards learn exactly

who defeated him.

Off hand, I'd say it was me.

But if you want to do a little gloating,

suit yourself.

Ah, the esteemed Mr. Fantastic.

And do you know who has you

mounted here like a brilliant,

albeit short-lived, butterfly?

Hey, I recognize you, you're the Wizard,

brilliant inventor of incredible devices

for the very rich and the very evil.

Very good, Richards.

Yes, yes, I am that very same Wizard

the worid used to talk about,

until you came along

with your free patents

and affordable inventions

for the common man.

Luckily, I found fellow inventors,

gifted yet unappreciated,

who shared my visión.

Peter Petroski, formally Paste Pot Pete.

Petroski? Yes, the research chemist

who invented multipolymer liquid.

Now known as The Trapster.

Meet Mory Benz.

Better known as Hydroman.

Capable of transforming

the atoms of his body into water.

What's the matter, Torch?

Get your matches wet?

Careful, Hydroman, he's only a boy.

Madam Medusa, the last link

in my unbreakable circle of evil.

- [banging]

- What was that?

Relax, my dear.

It's only a cat.

Medusa's past is a mystery

but her unique mastery of hair,

it's extraordinary.

Not to mention useful.

Together, we're the unstoppable

Frightful Four.

- Don't you mean five?

- Ha, ha, ha.

Surprised at your friend's

change of heart, Richards?

You shouldn't be.

Only my brilliance

could create an id machine

capable of turning even Ben Grimm evil.

Yes, once again the worid

will marvel at the Wizard,

as my Frightful Four rob it blind.

Because Reed Richards

and his Fantastic Four will be no more.

Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Yeah, enough yappin', b*llet head.

Is it clobberin' time or not?

Apologies, my dear Thing.

By all means,

feel free to indulge yourself.

Destroy Reed Richards.

Argh!

Only one chance.

Johnny! Reed can't avoid

Ben's punches much longer.

If I can just flame on

fast and hot enough,

I might be able

to melt this sprinkler head.

Oh!

Still too damp.

Third time's a charm, brain boy!

Free!

You freed him, you clumsy fool!

Trapster, stop him!

No way, paste puss,

I'll take care of Gumby.

Almost dry enough to

flame on!

Johnny! Help Reed!

Why don't you just

leave him to The Thing?

Now you see me

I'll lay down some cover fire, Sis.

When I catch you, even a chiropractor

won't be able to tell your head

from your butt.

Hey, Red, alley-oop.

Back off!

That livin' inner tube is all mine.

If I can invert this

id machine's power output

Ah, forget it, Einstein.

There ain't nothing wrong

with me that clobberin' you

can't cure.

Seems like we never get to spend

a quiet moment alone any more, dear.

I see you're hiding behind

your old lady's tights, Richards.

Reed, Ben's too powerful.

Can't sustain this field

much longer.

Just a little more time.

I think you'll find my anti-gravity disk

a marvelously uplifting experience,

Torch.

Not cool

Boy, am I ever having a bad flare day?

- Is he all right?

- Why so concerned, my dear?

Concentrate on vanquishing our enemies.

They're up in the loft.

Got it! Sue, release your force field.

- Are you sure?

- Do it now!

Sue, reverse the polarity.

I hate you beyond hate, Richards.

It's not working!

Increase the amperage.

I'll try to hold him.

Get off of me, you Argh!

Now, now, Mrs. Richards,

it isn't nice to fool

with other people's inventions.

Okay, Stretcho, it's tombstone time.

Oh, yeah, this is gonna be good.

- Ben, no!

- Huh?

What are you saying, Ben?

Reed is your best friend.

- Alicia, run!

- What? Get her!

No! What's happening?

Ben!

What? Alicia! Leave her alone!

Look at yourself, Ben Grimm.

Remember your hatred for Reed,

how he destroyed your life.

Ben! Help!

Yes, listen to Alicia, Ben,

I'm your friend!

Shut up!

That's right, Grimm,

remember how Richards made you

the pathetic ugly creature you are.

No, Ben, you're not ugly or pathetic!

Your the kindest, gentlest man

I've ever known.

I'm finished.

So am I.

Let her go, Rapunzel.

Take care of my girl, will you, pal?

Any time, my friend, any time.

I've got me some real,

righteous clobberin' to do.

Stop! Richards is the enemy.

Wrong, chrome dome.

You are the enemy.

No!

Something tells me

Ol' Blue Eyes is back.

You repulsive monstrosity.

You're still no match

for my powergloves.

Did someone say "match"?

Looks like the gloves are off, Wizzy.

We must flee while we still can.

It's not quite time to leave the party.

Not to worry, I got her, Sis.

I like chasing giris, but man!

- Where's Medusa?

- I can't believe it

- But I let her go.

- You what?

- But how could you?

- I don't know!

I kinda felt sorry for her, you know?

- She seemed scared and

- I know.

All your heat must be

fricasseeing your flame brain.

Or were you just dazzled

by another pretty face?

I see you're back

to your usual charming ways.

- Twerp.

- Rockhead.

- Ben! Please!

- Sorry, sweetie.

Oh, by the way

Better late than never.

Oh, Ben. They smell lovely.

How come you don't bring me

flowers any more?

- Uh late hours at the lab?

- And?

Now, Sue, if you receive

flowers every day,

- how special would they be?

- As special as those anniversary ones.

- Exactly. Anniversary?

- [Sue] Which was?

Uh But, dear, every day with you

is special.

- You love surprises.

- Speaking of surprises,

what about the toilet seat?