02x06 - To Battle the Living Planet

[bunniefuu]

[Thing] Ta-ti-di-um!

Presentin' the Four Freedoms Plaza,

the new home of the Fantastic Four!

Man, Ben, that cake's

big enough to move into!

I'm sure we can store

most of it in the freezer.

Or the garage.

Yeah, the bakery had a slight

problem deciphering Ben's order.

Hey, inches, feet, ounces, pounds.

Anybody could've made

the same mistake.

Who wants the first slice?

Hey! Relax, there's plenty for everyone!

Earthquake!

Whoa! Whoa!

Fortunately, I designed our building

to withstand a seismic shock of 9.5.

Whoa, check this!

Floods in Spain.

Hurricanes in Tahiti.

Fires, volcanic eruptions.

Yeah, and while you're yakkin',

the whole city's crackin'.

Ben, that overpass,

it's going to collapse!

If we can just get there in time!

Come on, Susie.

To Benjamin J. Grimm,

the ever-lovin' Thing,

"if" is a four-letter word.

Help! Someone help me!

I can't stretch any further!

Grab my hand!

Thanks, Iron Man.

If you and the Avengers could

continue your rescue operations,

we'll return to Four Freedoms Plaza

to find out why all this is happening.

My tachyon radar indicates

that the sky fire is being generated

by an object penetrating our atmosphere

at enormous speed!

Just where's this object headed, Reed?

Whoa. Whoa

Ow! Gee whiz!

Ben, look!

That's the hammer of Thor,

the thunder god!

What's the matter?

Can't that long-haired, lantern-jawed

lummox ever knock?

Gotcha.

It's obviously a summons

from the God of Thunder himself!

Follow its energy trail, Ben.

Not to worry.

Aunt Petunia's favorite blue-eyed nephew

ain't never lost a hammer yet.

Dead ahead! It's Thor!

[Thing] Oh, goody.

Where'd I put my autograph book?

Can you believe it?

Somebody trashed his tush

and he still looks pretty as a picture!

Get ready! My force-field bubble

will pull him in.

Who or what could possibly do this

to the God of Thunder,

the most powerful being on Earth?

Most powerful?

Hey, when did I become

Wimp of the Year?

- Uh, April.

- What? Hey

Reed, what kinda chance do we have

against anything that could rough up

Thor like this?

Well, for once, Johnny,

I don't have an answer.

[Reed] Instruments are showing

something ahead, Ben.

[disembodied voice]

Creatures of the third planet, heed me!

- Huh, check, please.

- I am Ego, the living planet!

[Ego] Feel my wrath!

Pull it up, Ben!

What do you think I'm trying to do?

Win the Pillsbury bake-off?

- [Reed] Can you land us, Ben?

- Yeah, I'll keep her upright.

If you'll step outside

and pave me a landin' strip!

There's oxygen down there.

Let me go, Sis! Flame on!

One runway for the orange gentleman

in the blue diaper comin' right up!

Welcome to Ego International Airport!

Sorry, but your luggage has been eaten.

Ah, this is no time for levity, Johnny.

Once Ego pinpoints our position

Reed, what's that?

It looks like an enormous city!

That's no city. It's some kind

of an array of thruster rockets.

They must be Ego's means of propulsión!

If we knock out those thrusters,

it might stop Ego's progress

towards Earth!

Great! Knockin' things out

is my middle name.

Hey!

It's Ego! He's located us, and he's

[muffled]

[Ego] Across the boundless

reaches of the cosmos,

I have tracked my sworn enemy!

Now, for his transgressions,

I shall destroy your worid

and all its populace!

Flame on!

Hitch a ride, Sis.

Yuk!

- What a revoltin' development.

- Fear not, Benjamin Grimm!

Thy plight hast caught the eye of Thor,

son of Odin!

Son of Odin, eh?

Thou has ticked off Ben Grimm,

son of Mr. and Mrs. Grimm!

Now, when I need your help, Goldilocks,

I'll leave a message

at the beauty parlor!

We're grateful for your intervention,

Thor.

'Tis Thor who owes a debt to thee,

Reed Richards.

Time doth grow short. We must converse.

I knew not this creature until

mine enchanted hammer, Mjolnir,

detected Ego's presence

with the first storm wind.

Using the Uru hammer's power,

I did unlock a portal

to the very depths of space.

And there came I face to face

with Ego, the living planet.

I learned of his mad plan

to destroy Earth

and engaged him in battle!

But how does one, even a god,

battle a planet entire?

I was defeated.

'Twas then, with the last

of my strength, I summoned thee!

Perhaps where the might

of the gods hath failed,

the power of reason

and intellect may prevail!

You shall never prevail against Ego!

Whoa!

This ain't lookin' pretty!

[splutters]

Don't you ever get a coffee break

in this blasted superhero business?

Hot dog! Somethin' to clobber.

Heh, heh.

One little, two little,

three little mud guys.

Four little, five little,

six little mud guys.

Head for the thrusters!

Johnny, lay down

a barricade of flame behind us.

These are sidereal thruster rockets,

all right,

but on a scale

I'd have thought impossible.

And yet the technology

seems oddly familiar.

Well, I say we turn 'em into scrap metal

and halt this pain-in-the-neck planet

right in its loudmouth tracks.

Thor echoes thy sentiment!

Ow! Gee.

By Odin!

This metal resists even the blows

of mine enchanted hammer.

Ain't done wonders

for my manicure, neither.

Apparently, part of the thrusters' power

is used to shield them

from direct as*ault.

I'm afraid there's only one being

with the power to destroy these engines.

And that's the one

who put them here, Galactus.

- Reed! You can't be serious!

- Never more so, darling.

The devourer of worids is well

known e'en on distant Asgard.

Yeah, he knows us, too,

and we ain't exactly

on his Christmas card list.

Since his last attack on Earth,

I've been monitoring Galactus'

movements on sub-space radar.

Thor, if I provide coordinates,

can you take us to him?

Mjolnir's magic can protect myself

and one other on such a journey!

Will thou face the devourer alone,

Reed Richards,

with only the Mighty Thor at thy side?

I'll do whatever I must.

Johnny, you fly Ben and Sue

back to the ship.

You can all join me

when I return with Galactus.

Ben, remove these lower power packs,

the auxiliary units.

It'll slow Ego's progress

and buy us some time.

But handle them with kid gloves.

They're highly expl*sive.

expl*sive, huh?

Oh, yeah.

Darling, please be careful.

Stand thee back, all,

whilst mighty Mjolnir doth open

a portal

through the very fabric of space.

But what if Galactus refuses to help?

We have to do something.

You got my vote

in your back pocket, Susie.

Now if Stretcho says I can rip out a few

of these things, who am I to argue?

Look out! They've mutated.

The fire's not holding them back.

Grab hold. I'll fly us out of here.

No! Ben, grab that power pack

and follow me.

- I have an idea!

- "I have an idea. "

The four scariest words

in the English language.

- Johnny! Follow us!

- Where to?

Down.

Not again!

[Reed] Galactus has fed

on yet another worid.

And you would seek alliance

with such a villain?

We've no choice, Thor.

Cringe before me.

I am Terrax the Tamer,

now herald to Galactus,

devourer of worids.

He awaits within.

Reed Richards.

You have come where you are unwelcome.

Your hour is struck.

Your final page is writ.

Threaten us not, villain!

Thor hath brought giants larger

than Galactus to their knees.

Wait! Galactus, hear me.

I come not to challenge you,

but to ask your help.

And why should Galactus involve himself

in any petty mortal affairs?

Because you're the reason

Earth faces total destruction.

[groaning]

I feel like I been flushed.

Susie, this brilliant idea of yours

better include a medical plan

with a real low deductible.

Hazard pay would be nice too, Ben.

But look, if we can locate the

center of Ego's consciousness,

the expl*sive energy of that power pack

might be enough to destroy him.

That sounds like a suicide missión, Sis.

What choice do we have?

With every passing second,

Ego gets closer to Earth.

And if Reed fails to convince Galactus,

then Alicia, Crystal,

the entire Earth, will perish.

- That does it.

- Ben! Where are you going?

Where else? To blow Ego's mind.

So Ego is rushing toward Earth,

using the thrusters only you

could have attached to his body.

No! The all-mighty Galactus

cannot be bothered

with the fate of fleas!

Enough, herald.

As you surmised, in all the universe,

only Ego's power has challenged my own.

It was when the mad planet threatened

to destroy this galaxy, my galaxy,

that I did battle him.

But to no avail.

His powers were equal to mine.

Ultimately I attached the thrusters,

and bid them exile Ego

into the vast void

of interstellar space.

Then the rest is obvious.

Ego must have somehow

gained control of the thrusters

and used them to come after you,

following the trail of dead planets

all the way to Earth.

Finding Earth teeming with life,

he no doubt assumed

you were a friend to our planet

and thus spared it.

And therefore,

Ego determined to draw my master out

by destroying your worthless worid.

- How fitting.

- Enough talk.

Undo the harm thou hast done

or face the wrath of the God of Thunder.

Galactus shall help, not because

of your laughable threat,

but on his own condition.

Reed Richards, I shall aid you

in vanquishing Ego,

provided you release me from

the vow you once extracted from me,

to spare your planet called Earth.

By Odin's beard!

He would trade us one death for another!

An immediate threat for a distant one.

We have no choice.

Offer accepted.

[Sue pants]

Sis

I can't go on. The air pressure.

I feel it, too.

Don't know how much deeper I can go.

You ain't goin' nowhere.

This is where you guys get off.

Ben, this is no time to play John Wayne.

No, Johnny. Ben's right.

He's the only one who stands a chance.

That flash, it's Reed and Galactus.

We'd better alert them

that Ben's still down there.

Reed, come in. Reed.

The communicator's dead!

It must've been damaged

when we crash-landed!

Well, Galactus

Guess who's coming to dinner.

There's our ship.

Good, they made it back to safety.

Galactus! At last my quest is done.

My vengeance is at hand.

Let this then be your end.

This time, the triumph shall be mine!

You mouth madness.

You are but a simple being.

I am an entire worid!

Your words are true,

but in all of space, I stand alone.

I am Galactus! The be-all and end-all

of the universe!

By Heimdal's eyes! The villainous titans

are too evenly matched.

Thor! Come with me!

Pressure's even gettin' to me.

But I can't stop!

I have to keep movin'

or I'll never get goin' again.

Now, that's what I call a brain.

And I thought ol' Stretch

had all the marbles!

By altering the circuits

of your dimensional generator,

I can channel the mystical energy

of Thor's Uru hammer

- into your own cosmic power.

- Ah!

'Twill make the mightiest weapon

the universe hath ever known!

Then let it be done.

Galactus stands ready.

Oh, my gosh! Galactus is trying

to blow up the planet

with Ben still inside!

We've got to reach Reed and stop it.

I'm trying! Those blasts aren't helping.

Here's the wind-up and the pitch!

Strike!

[yells]

[yells]

[Ego yells]

- Reed! Thor! It's Ben!

- He's in the center of Ego.

Mjolnir shall fly me to his side!

- He's coming around, Reed.

- Tough day on the job, big guy?

Jeez, Louise.

Anybody get the number of that planet?

Only your rock-hard hide saved you

from expl*sive decompressión, Ben.

Yeah. That, and holdin' my breath.

Y'know, if Thor hadn't dragged

your orange buns outta there,

you'd have been space krispies.

Oh, no. Come on, you're kidding?

You mean I owe my life

to the Fabio of the fjords?

'Twas Thor's privilege, Benjamin Grimm,

to rescue one as noble as thee.

Yeah, well, don't let it go

to thy bleached-blond noggin.

Galactus bids you farewell,

Reed Richards,

but remember, a bargain has been struck.

You have released me from my vow

to spare your planet.

I hunger not at this moment

but perhaps another day.

Yes. Another day.