01x13 - The Great Magini

[bunniefuu]

MAN: Look, up on the building!
It's Spider-Woman!

NARRATOR: And this is Jessica Drew,

who, as a child,
while visiting her father's laboratory,

was bitten by a poisonous spider.

Forced to try an untested spider serum,

Dr. Drew not only saved
his daughter's life,

but unknowingly gave her
incredible spider-like powers.

Dedicated to fighting evil

while weaving her web of justice,

it's Spider-Woman!

[ROARING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Ladies and gentlemen,
for my last and greatest illusion,

I shall demonstrate
the mystery of levitation.

And now, with the magic words.
Abracadabra.

[ALL GASPING]

[APPLAUDING]

Wow, the Great Magini sure is great.

You said it, Billy.
He's the best illusionist I've ever seen.

Thank you, Great Magini.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,
the event you've all been waiting for,

the unveiling of the National Art Museum's
newest painting,

the $10 million masterpiece,
Autumn Flowers.

-[ALL GASPING]
-It's gone!

Oh, no. Someone's stolen
the museum's priceless painting.

It's disappeared as if by magic.

JESSICA:
Speaking of magic,

my spider-sense
has picked out the culprit.

It looks like the Great Magini
is really a not-so-great crook.

I'd better slip away and spider change.

Uh, why don't you get some pictures, Jeff?
I'll go call the police.

Now to show the Great Magini
some spider tricks of my own.

[LAUGHING]

Those fools never suspected
that stealing this painting

was the real magic tonight.

JESSICA:
That's what you think, Magini.

Your little hocus-pocus is over, Magini.

Wrong, Spider-Woman.

You haven't seen my magic rope trick yet.

Not bad, Magini,

but I've got
a pretty good rope trick of my own.

Very clever, Spider-Woman.

Thanks. Maybe when you get out of prison,

I'll teach you how to do it.

Get him, boys.

It's a lucky thing I got here in time
to save you, Spider-Woman.

That Great Magini is, uh,
really a dangerous criminal.

Thanks, chief.
I'll be more careful next time.

You can't hold me in this flimsy cell.

I'm the Great Magini.
I can escape from anywhere.

Now, for the magic nutshell trick.

So long, chumps.

I don't trust that tricky Magini. Come on.

He's not here.

Oh, no! He's gone.

[TELETYPE CLACKING]

"Magician tricks museum out of painting."

What a story.

I've been doing some research
on magic, Aunt Jessica.

Good. What did you come up with, Billy?

I-- I-- I learned a great trick.

You see, first I take
this cone of newspaper.

Then I pour the water in like this.

Hey, that's pretty good. Let me see that.

BILLY: Uh... Guess I haven't
perfected it yet.

You picked a fine time to tell me.

Hey, listen to this.

"The Great Magini escaped
from the state prison last night.

He says he'll use his magic to steal
the most famous landmarks of the world.

Starting with Mount Rushmore."

Warm up the jet-copter, Jeff.

We're gonna be there when Magini strikes
and get the scoop.

CHIEF COOPER: All right, Magini.
You're surrounded. Give yourself up.

Forget it, coppers.
You won't stop me this time.

[LAUGHS]

Mount Rushmore, dead ahead.

A-- Aunt Jessica, there he is.
Magini is cutting off Washington's head.

Get us in closer, Jeff.
We'll get some great pictures.

And I'll get close enough
to stop that magical maniac.

I'll fix that meddling helicopter.

He's jammed our rotors.
We're dropping like a rock.

JESSICA:
A couple of spider springs should save us.

[SPRINGS BOUNCE]

We made it!

But how?

Who cares? We'd better head for cover.

Good idea, Jessica.

You'll be safe
behind the rocks over there.

I'll stay and get some pictures.

Now to put a call in for Spider-Woman.

Got you.
Now to turn you over to the police.

Speaking of the police, Spider-Woman,

don't you think you'd better save them?

Save them from what?

From this.

Take cover. It's a rock slide.

I'll take care of you later.

A giant spider hanky will stop
that running nose.

Are you guys all right?

Hey, that giant nose was just an illusion.

Look. The heads are gone.

I, the Great Magini,
have beheaded Mount Rushmore.

And until I receive a ransom
of $10 billion,

I will continue to steal
the world's landmarks.

[LAUGHING]

[TELETYPE CLACKING]

BILLY: Hey, Aunt Jessica, listen to what
just came in over the Teletype.

Reports have been coming in
from all over the globe.

Five more of the world's
most famous landmarks

have been stolen by the Great Magini.

Let me see that.

Holy cow!

The pyramids, Eiffel Tower, Big Ben,
the Statue of Liberty

and the Great Wall of China.

I wonder where he'll strike next.

The most famous landmark left
is the Golden Gate Bridge.

JESSICA:
Of course, the Golden Gate Bridge.

And that's just where I'll set
my spider trap and catch Magini.

Uh, listen, guys, stay by the Teletype.

I've got some important research to do.

That mad magician will never get past

my super-sensitive spider eyes.

[LAUGHING]

Once I hijack this bridge,

the world will be forced to pay
my outrageous ransom demands.

Great arachnids! It's Magini.

This should shake him up.

Fool! You can't hold the Great Magini
in your weak little web.

Hmm, it's a holographic laser wand.

Those thefts of the world's treasures
were just illusions.

This should put an end
to your treacherous trickery.

You won't be creating
anymore illusions now, Magini.

That's what you think.
You haven't seen anything yet.

Catch me if you can, Spider-Woman.

I'll be at 13 Creepy Bog Lane.

[LAUGHING]



My spider-sense tells me not to,

but I've got to check out that address.

[THUNDER CRACKING]

JESSICA:
Looks like this is the place, all right.

But something tells me I wish it wasn't.

There could be a booby trap
around here anywhere.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Looks like I've played
right into Magini's trap.

And any one of
those doors could lead to disaster.

MAGINI: Welcome to my haunted house,
Spider-Woman.

Having trouble deciding which door to try?

Perhaps you'd like this one.

[LAUGHING]

[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]

Magini is obviously trying to trick me

into entering into another deadly room.

I'll try this one instead.

The water is reaching the ceiling.

There's no way out.

Walloping web wonders.

That door is my ticket out of here.

Oh, no. This room is wacko.

MAGINI: Nope. You're the one who's wacko.

[THUDS]

What's the matter, Spider-Woman?
Having trouble telling which way is up?

[MAGINI LAUGHING]

JESSICA: I've got to get out
of this house of horrors

before it drives me batty.

This is the only way out for you,
Spider-Woman.

[MAGINI LAUGHING]

Your childish tricks
don't scare me, Magini.

Now, that scares me.

If I don't think of something fast,

my spider suit is gonna get
a free pressing with me in it!

GHOSTLY VOICE:
Spider-Woman.

Spider-Woman.

Come this way.

There's no time to worry now.

I've got to get out of here
before I'm spider squished.

I wonder where I am now.

MAGINI: You're in big trouble.
That's where, Spider-Woman.

[LAUGHING]

Wrong, Magini. You're in trouble now.

[MAGINI LAUGHING]

MAGINI: You missed me, Spider-Woman.
Care to try again?

[MAGINI LAUGHING]

Suffering spider images.
I'm lost in a hall of mirrors.

My spider-sense will tell me
which is the real Magini.

MAGINI: A perfect bull's-eye,
Spider-Woman.

[LAUGHING]

You'll never find your way
out of my mirror maze.

[LAUGHING]

I think I found the way out.

I may have escaped one danger,

but my spider-senses
are picking up another.

What on Earth is that?

[LOW GROWL]

I think I'm in big trouble.

[CAT YOWLING]

Nice kitty.

Nice kitty? Who am I kidding?

A spider line is the only way
out of this cat trap.

[CAT YOWLING]

[SIGHS]

Oh, I got away just in time.

-[ANIMAL SCREECHING]
-Or did I?

First cats and now rats.

What will that evil Magini think of next?

[RAT SCREECHING]

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh, dead-end. Just a spidery second.

That giant rat trap is just what I needed.

So long, rat.

[SCREECHES]

Hmm, I wonder where this conduit leads to.

Great arachnids.

This must be the wiring for the magical
illusions in Magini's haunted house.

They should lead me straight to Magini.

I've found it,
Magini's computerized control room.

[BEEPING]

This house is filled with booby traps.

MAGINI: That's right, Spider-Woman.

And you've just entered
another one of them.

I hope you'll enjoy my cyclone chair.

It'll be the last trap
you'll ever fall into.

[LAUGHING]

JESSICA: Spiraling spider blunders.
How am I gonna get out of this mess?

If I can just fire out a spider line,
it's got to hit something.

[STAMMERING] I think I stopped,

but the room is still spinning.

Uh-oh, Magini's getting away.

These closed-circuit TV cameras
will find him for me.

There he is. He's gone
into one of his booby-trapped rooms.

I think I've figured out a way to give him
a taste of his own magical medicine.

MAGINI: Stop! You can't attack me.
I created you. You're just an illusion.

JESSICA: Now, to deal you out
of the game for good.

Not before I destroy you, Spider-Woman.

JESSICA: If my hunch is right,
this should stop him.

[MUSIC BOX PLAYING]

Let me down. Get me out of this trap.

What's the matter, Magini?
Can't take a little spider magic?

Now, the real magic
is getting Magini to prison

and Jessica back to Justice Magazine
before she's missed.

What on Earth
could be taking Jessica so long?

Hi, guys.

Oh, you blew it again, Jessica.

While you were out researching,
I got the scoop of the year.

Spider-Woman captured
the Great Magini in his haunted house

and deposited him
right back into state prison.

Oh, well. I'm glad that's over.

Guess I can give this research
the old disappearing act.

Speaking of disappearing acts,
I learned a great new magic trick.

Forget it, Billy.
I don't feel like getting drenched again.

Oh, come on, Jeff.

It's called the disappearing dollar trick.

It's great. Give me a dollar.

Okay. Here.

Get ready. Now you see it.

Now you don't. [LAUGHING]

Hey, give me back my dollar.

[LAUGHING]