02x09 - Probable Cause

[bunniefuu]

[BLASTING EXPLOSIONS]

[BLASTING]

[RICOCHETING]

Whoa there, hoss!

You're jumpier than a frog

on a Texas tarmac.

Well, I reckon you

got lucky, Ricochet.

Won't happen again!

[GRUNTS]

[RUMBLING]

TINKERER: Time, Gentlemen!

You see,

my skill-enhancement

suits work perfectly.

And a slight adjustment

to your kinetic

energy regulator

will put even more Ric

in your 'ochet.

[LAUGHS] Nice moves,

pardners. Thanks.

So, Ox. if Montana is Shocker

and Fancy Dan is Ricochet,

what do we

Ox.That works.

Well, Chief,

what do you think?

I like what I see.

Livin' on the edge

Fighting crime

Spinning webs

Swingin' from

the highest ledge

He could leap

above our heads

Villains on the rise

And the city's victimized

Looking up

with no surprise

Arriving

in the speed of time

Spectacular

Spectacular Spider-Man

Spectacular

Spectacular Spider-Man

Spectacular

Spectacular

Spectacular Spider-Man

Spectacular

Spectacular Spider-Man

You went to the Enforcers?

Good morning, Hammerhead.

Since when does

the Big Man go straight

to the hired help?

Silvermane is being

released from prison,

and Doctor Octopus looms.

With a g*ng w*r

on the horizon,

I must build

my w*r chest.

But why am I

suddenly out of the loop?

After the oil tanker fiasco

and the Rhino specs

acquisition failure,

I assumed you had too much

on your plate.

Especially since job one

was creating supervillains

to distract Spider-Man.

With all the freaks

running around,

Spidey's distracted enough.

Why spend money on what

we can get for free?

Control.

You used

to know that.

Shut the door

on your way out.

SPIDER-MAN:

Ah, life is so sweet.

Old Peter Parker

would have been stuck

in that traffic jam.

But not the

Spectacular Spider-Man!

Hey, Sha Shan, wanna see

the pass that won us the

State Championship?

[SCOFFS] Not really.

Hey, Brown,

get the ball!

No, no, no,

no, no!

[CRASHING]

PETER:

Okay, maybe not so sweet.

GEORGE: All right.

Time to choose partners

for tonight's

police ride-along.

Remember, this is an

educational endeavor,

a front row seat at how

the police operate,

not a social activity.

Is it really

that bad?

It really is.

But you'll clean up,

and we'll still be partners.

So no arguments

over who rides with whom.

Names are in the hat.

[CLASS GROANING] FLASH: Come on!

Sorry, Hobes,

I want first shot at

Harry Osborn?

Wait, I want a do-over!

Hobie Brown. Don't say it.

Gwen Stacy.

Mark Allan.

Uh It says

Rand Robertson.

Rand's not even

in this class!

Fine, it says Stinky Pete!

You happy now?

[GROANS]

SPIDER-MAN: Stinky Pete?

Like Puny Parker's

not bad enough.

[SIGHS] At least I had time

to shower before

the ride-along

with the ever-personable

Miss Avril.

I can't believe I used

to have a crush on

Flash, Harry.

You're with Sergeant

Carter and Officer DeWolff.

So, you two rookies ready?

Let the

thrills begin!

Thrills? Please.

They're not takin' us

anywhere cool.

Not with Norman Osborn's

spawn in the car.

Besides, cops don't handle

the real threats anymore.

Spider-Man takes down

all the genuine big bads!

What makes you think

your costumed vigilante

isn't a "big

bad" himself?

Oh, come on,

DeWolff.

Kid's just saying

what everyone's

thinking.

Look Sarge,

we've been

through this.

Spider-Man means well,

probably,

but when he takes

the law into his own hands,

he goes too far.

You ask me,

Spidey hasn't gone

far enough.

Bank heists? Really?

Isn't that a bit beneath you?

Nothin' wrong

with a good heist,

if the take's

worth our while.

Our while?

SHOCKER: Bug,

meet the New Enforcers.

Great field trip, Dad.

[SIGHS]

Perfect. Parker's late.

So, now I'm stuck with

King Geek and the teacher.

No offense.

The New Enforcers?

[LAUGHS]

Oh, yeah, gotta love those

heart-tugging reunion shows.

Enough jawing.

Ox, you're up.

Ricochet, go.

SPIDER-MAN:

Ox? Ricochet?

Okay, those names

might sound cool

back at the ranch, but

We're just

getting started, Spidey.

OX: Uh-uh.

SHOCKER: Ox is right.

We got us a strict

timetable.

Reckon we'll have to

squash you later, bug.

Well, maybe just one

for the road.

[SHOCKER LAUGHING]

It's pre-Columbian.

Some believe the wearer

actually takes on

the personality of the mask.

Whatever.

Big Man wants another

supervillain.

Same deal as before. [TOOLS CLANGING]

You in? Happy to oblige.

I've found a new scientist

to oversee the project.

Someone whose temperament

is more in line with

these endeavors.

Someone who understands

how the world works today

and isn't afraid

to make it his.

I presume in your

line of work,

those are the qualities

it takes to be in charge.

No doubt the Big Man

has those qualities.

And I'm sure he knows

you have those qualities

as well.

You're late.

I Uh Uh

Crashed your bike?Yeah! Yeah, my bike.

Good guess.

What? Back there?

You mean I have to sit

next to him, too?

So, Mary Jane.

Who'd you really

want to partner with?

I'm not really

a partner person.

I hear ya. I mean,

everyone's always bugging

about who goes out with who.

Yeah, as if a night out

has to be life-changing.

What's wrong with just

having a little fun?

Nada, chica.

You and me,

we should show 'em

how to do it right.

A date.

But not a

date-date.

Are we on a ride-along

or a "ride-along" ride-along?

HARRY: A real bank robbery!

You gotta admit,

this is cool.

No, Os-brat,

this is boring.

A robbery in progress

would be cool.

Captain, I knew Spider-Man

couldn't be trusted.

This mess is

all your fault.

Me? I I'd

never rob a bank.

Not this, you dweeb.

The social order.

You crossed clique lines

and put some kind

of geek-spell on Liz.

And now no one at

M-cubed knows their place!

Even Flash is trying

to date a nerd

and she's saying no!

No offense, Flash.

Oh, that mess.

[CHUCKLES]

Um Sorry?

Damage doesn't fit

the Spider's M.O.

I'd guess he fought

someone here.

Go, Spidey! What's this?

[GRUNTING]

This hole leads to

the dry cleaners next door.

Perps tried to hide it.

Call the owner. Find out

if anything's missing.

PETER:

A dry cleaners?

Why would the New Enforcers

rob a dry cleaners?

Incoming shipment.

LIZ: So, uh Gwen

You and Harry seem

to be getting along great.

He's a great guy.

And you two

make a great couple.

Yeah, we're Great.

Um, and you and Peter

make a great couple, too.

Yeah. We do.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Wrong way. You want

[GRUNTS]

Elevator k*ll-switch

disabled.

You got the monitor link

on redirect?

Uh-huh.

[BEEPING]

Party time, boys.

Let's get fancy.

Captain.

Owner of the dry cleaners.

Look,

what's the dealio?

I thought we got past

the whole geek torment

thing last fall.

We did,

till you ditched the team

right before playoffs

to go to Europe

with Mommy.

Hobie stepped up,

and we won State anyway.

Of course, if I had

a guy with your speed,

I might've gotten off

the winning pass sooner

and I wouldn't

have taken this hit.

Yeah, uh, the thing is,

I was drinking this stuff.

Globulin Green.

It got bad,

and I had to go away.

You were playing

Juiced?

You know what

this means?

If anyone finds out,

the games you played in

would be disqualified,

along with

our championship!

I'd have messed up

my knee for nothing!

OFFICER: Stop right there!

They're heading for

the vault elevator.

Hit the k*ll-switch!

It's not working!

[GRUNTING]

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

[BEEPING]

[OX HUMMING]

Spider-Man

[CONTINUES HUMMING]

Spider-Man

It's catchy.

The dry cleaner

had a contract

to launder Federal

Reserve uniforms.

By busting in

through the bank,

the thieves set us on

the wrong path.

Gave them time

to make their move.

Treasury Department's

brought in a

Mobile Command Center.

You two'll be safe inside.

Um, if

you don't mind,

I'd like to snap

some pics for the Bugle.

And, uh

I could get some good shots

from behind that van.

Be careful.

And stay out of sight.

Thanks. I thought we'd

be stuck with him all night.

I said I'd

take some pics.

Didn't say that

was all I'd do.

Now there's a purty sight.

A billion dollars'

worth of gold!

And we're trapped

inside with it.

Three perps did this?

Excuse me, but I have a pretty

good idea who those perps are.

SHOCKER: As promised,

our chariot awaits.

Perps were tough

but dumb.

They destroyed

the elevator.

The vault's 86 feet

below sea level.

They're trapped.

It'll take days,

maybe weeks to reach them.

SPIDER-MAN:

Shocker's a pro. He wouldn't

have acted without a plan.

Which means if I don't get

down there fast,

you'll be left

with one big, empty vault.

Wait, you can't It's okay.

He's on our side.

[SPIDER-MAN STRAINING]

Come on, let's show

our guest a little

down home hospitality.

Ox, give ol'

Ricochet a boost.

SHOCKER:

I'll give him a ride.

Oh, great. I get to play

follow the bouncing bad guy.

[GRUNTING]

Really, gotta get me

one of those

shock-absorbing suits.

[GRUNTS]

But until then

I'll just make do

with what I've got.

[GRUNTS]

SHOCKER: Exit door's open!

Load her up.

We'll squash the bug.

Squash the bug

Squash the bug ♪

Don't you know

any other tunes?

[GRUNTING]

[GOLD BARS CLANGING]

Skedaddle. But there's

still so much gold.

Can't risk it.

Listen, you wanna

tell the Big Man

we lost his take?

No, thank you.

[SPIDER-MAN GROANS]

[SPIDER-MAN MOANING]

Most expensive bruises

I've ever gotten.

Pardon me, boys!

[GROANS]

[GROANS] What a revolting

development this is.

The bug!

[STRAINING]

[GRUNTING]

[BRAKES GRINDING] [YELLING]

Get him!

Don't let go, Ox.

He is a slippery little

piece of meat.

So tenderize him.

[GRUNTS]

More?

[OUT OF BREATH]

No No more

Just get it

over with, Shocker.

Make it quick.

Never did like to see a poor

dumb animal suffer.

[POWER SURGING]Like, say, Brer Rabbit?

[SCREAMS]

Never touch

another man's treasure!

One man's treasure

is another man's brake pads.

[CRASHING] [RUMBLING]

[MECHANICAL WHIRRING]

SPIDER-MAN:

Now if I wanted you

to get away with the gold

[GRUNTS]

Watch it, ya big Ox!

So we just sit here

all night?

I mean, some of us

have a life, you know.

No offense.

[POWER SURGING]

SHOCKER: Saddle up, pards.

We're ridin' out of this

concrete box-canyon.

[expl*si*n]

Is that

The geek's camera?

Peter!

[GRUNTS]

[SURGING FALTERS]

Next time, bug.

Go!

[BANGING]

[CRASHING] [TIRES SCREECH]

You know, they just

don't make getaway cars

like they used to.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[g*ns c*ck]

[CHATTERING ON POLICE RADIO] [DISTANT SIREN]

There's no body, Sally.

Peter

Was blown to bits!

Oh, great,

what'll I tell Liz?

She looks

awful in black!

PETER:

Did I miss much?

Peter!

Wait!

How come you're

still alive?

I took a bathroom break?

But your camera!

Aw, man, my new camera!

I suppose you left it

on auto-sh**t

to try to get a few pictures

while Indisposed.

Uh, yeah. Exactly.

Do you know what

you put me through?

I didn't realize

you cared.

Oh! I so don't!

But I don't want you

blown to bits either.

I'm not a monster!

But if you tell

anyone I hugged you,

you'll wish you were

behind that van.

Enlightening

field trip, sir.

Really.

DAVIS: I'm sorry, Coach.

I had no choice.

I had to report

Harry Osborn's actions

to the N.Y.S.H.S.F.F.

Yeah, the Nyshsff.

The Mustangs'

championship title

is now under review.

Nice, Osborn.

Bad enough you juiced.

You had to spill

and ruin it for

He didn't spill.

I did.

Title's meaningless if it's

not won fair and square.

[SARCASTIC]

Thanks.

You did good.

They'll see that

Eventually.

Meantime, you want

to grab a coffee?