01x04 - Hard Knocks

[bunniefuu]

This is what happens when you ask
Reed Richards to install a barbeque grill.

T minus 10 minutes till my
Aunt Petunia's famous ribs are done.

Hey. Hello? Anyone home?

- BEN: What are you two doing?
- We're gonna spy on Reed.

- No, we're not.
- Oh, come on.

You want to know as much as me.
More, probably.

Someone want to explain
what you two are going on about?

Some guy shows up at the door,
says he's an old friend of Reed's.

Real jittery little guy, named Brice, Boris,
something like that.

I'm not doing it.

JOHNNY: Anyway,
Reed rushes him into his lab

and locks down the elevator.

They've been up there for hours.

So now Sue's gonna make
the ceiling invisible under the lab

so we can get a peek.

And, Ben, dinner's on fire.

Oh, no!

[GRUNTING]

SUZY: We have to respect Reed's privacy.

So it will be a small peek,
just for a second.

[expl*si*n]

[ALL EXCLAIMING]

Reed!

[ROARING]

JOHNNY: Ben, tell me that was you.
BEN: Nope.

[ROARING]

It's clobbering time!

[GRUNTING]

It's the Hulk. I mean The Hulk.

I thought he was, like,
Bigfoot or something.

[ROARING]

His breath's real enough.

Say goodnight, Jolly Green.

[EXCLAIMS]

JOHNNY: Now, when I said Bigfoot before,

I wasn't trying to suggest
that you're a hairy, ugly, smelly...

Fire man talk too much.

Yeah, I get that a lot.

I won't let you hurt my family.
I'm warning you, monster, stay back.

[GROANING]

Really hurts.

Okay, sunshine, let's try this again.

- Did you see how big he was?
- Johnny.

Okay, okay. Flame on!

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[PEOPLE CLAMORING]

So, what's your name?

BEN: Johnny!

Call me.

So, you ready to sit down
and talk this out?

[HULK GRUNTING]

Guess not.

Hulk smash stupid orange rock man.

No one is stronger than Hulk.

Is that a fact? Let's just see about that.

What happened? Where's Bruce?

Reed, I'm sorry,
but I think the Hulk ate your friend.

- The Hulk...
- Reed, what's going on? How did...

Go help Johnny and Ben.
I'll be there as soon as I can.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

You're just lucky
I'm tired from working out today.

What do you think of that?
How does the pavement taste?

Oh, boy.

I could have done that.
Now come here and fight like a...

Can you wait right there
so I can get my camera?

Move before I throw you at him.

JOHNNY: Hey, far be it from me
to complain about property damage,

[HULK ROARING]

but maybe we should leave
some of the city standing.

Hey.

Hey, you did that on purpose.

[EXCLAIMS]

Stone face too slow.

You're not exactly Quicksilver yourself,
big guy.

Fire man make fun of Hulk.

[GRUNTS]

[JOHNNY GROANING]

No one laughs at Hulk.

[GRUNTING]

Where fire man go?

This has gotten way out of hand.
We have to end this now.

Home Base, this is Jenkins.

Target has been located
in lower Manhattan.

PRA TT: Copy that.

But we have a complication.
Four complications, actually.

[GRUNTING]

Have you lost your mind?
You're turning New York into a w*r zone.

- Too many lives are at stake.
- Well, he started it.

Yeah, well, I'm ending it.

[GRUNTING]

[GASPING]

[SUZY GROANING]

Sue!

- That's it, I'm taking him down.
- Don't hurt him.

Shouldn't you be telling him
not to hurt us?

[GROANS]

Rubber man make Hulk angry.

I know. I'm sorry.

[REED EXCLAIMING]

[REED YELLING]

- Hulk dizzy.
- The device affects his inner ear.

It should put him off balance
and finally make him pass out.

JOHNNY: That's the guy. That's the guy
that Reed brought up to his lab.

So, Stretch, how long
you been friends with the Hulk?

REED: His name is Bruce Banner.
He was one of the few people

I could hold a con versation with
in graduate school.

We were both experimenting
with radiation.

Whereas my interest was cosmic rays,
his was gamma rays.

Nerd alert.

REED: Bruce was convinced
that gamma rays were the key to a cure.

- SUZY: A cure for what?
- Everything.

But it all went wrong.

- After I left, I heard about the accident.
- How long have you known about this?

Since the day it happened.
It wasn't hard to put together.

Bruce should really be explaining this.
I told him that I would keep his secret.

That secret almost destroyed us.

How could you bring the Hulk
into our home and not tell us?

Now we're responsible
for demolishing half the city.

REED: It was only a few blocks, actually.

We put our trust in you every day.
Why can't you do the same with us?

[CHUCKLING]

Sorry. I'm just glad
she's not mad at me for once.

We've received building schematics
and are en route.

And if the four interfere?

Yeah. Understood.

Let's get one thing straight.
You are not stronger than me.

Lucky for you, Stretch called it off,
'cause you were about two seconds away

from a one of a kind,
no-holds-barred Ben Grimm beat down.

You must be Ben.

No use kissing up now, chump.
Come on, go green. Let's settle this.

[DOOR OPENING]

Bruce, I'm so sorry for all this.

I must have miscalculated
the levels of radiation in my experiment.

BRUCE: Don't apologize, Reed.

You did the best you could
and your calculations were perfect.

Nerds.

[CLEARING THROAT]

It was me.

My anger triggers the transformation.

I shouldn't have let my frustration
get the best of me.

Wait. Are you saying
you Hulk out when you get angry?

So, I don't really think you're a nerd.

I call everyone that.
Like a term of affection.

I'm sorry, Reed.

I didn't mean to drag you
into the middle of my nightmare.

I've just been on the run for so long.
I didn't know who else to turn to.

It's okay, Bruce.

My work on Ben's cure
may still be helpful to you.

- We just need time.
- BEN: Sure.

After all,
us monsters have to stick together.

Especially with you
not being as strong as me.

You think you're a monster?

Ben Grimm is a hero, a role model,
a celebrity.

The Hulk is a force of nature.

He's pure rage and destruction
that can't be stopped.

The Hulk is the real monster.

I have to go.
I was a fool to come here, to a city.

So many people. They'll be coming for me.

[ALARM BLARING]

Who will?

[EXCLAIMS]

[GASPS]

They live upstairs.

[ALARM BLARING]

HERBIE: Proximity alert. No, wait.
Perimeter breach. No, intruder alert.

Multiple contacts detected.

They're cutting m y...

I have to get out of here.
I can't be captured.

These people want to turn the Hulk
into a living weapon.

I don't know what kind of lame bad guys
you deal with, Hulk-o,

but we're the Fantastic Four.
This is nothing. Am I right, Reed?

REED: Hmm.

Whatever technology they used
to breach the building's defenses

must be state-of-the-art.

- But we took down the Mole Man.
- This is no game.

I can't begin to describe the destruction
the Hulk could cause under their control.

Ben, you protect Bruce.

Hide him.
Johnny and I will deal with the intruders.

Don't worry, you big green wimp.
I won't let anything happen to you.

I could stick you in the fridge,
or under Reed's bed.

I think there's a black hole
or something under there.

Just get me out of here.

You know, the Hulk really caught me
by surprise back in the lab.

If I had a chance
to strategize a little more...

- Ben, please.
- Relax.

The FF do this kind of thing every day.

I'm normally
very accommodating to guests,

but I have to draw the line
at walking on me.

[EXCLAIMING]

[JOHNNY GROANING]

[JOHNNY IMITATING HULK] Torch angry
and hungry.

[BOTH YELLING]

You guys might give Hulk a hard time,
but come on, I fought Dr. Doom.

This ought to do it.

No Hulking out in there, now.
I just polished her.

Well, on second thought,

Hulk out all you want. This is Johnny's car.

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

Sonic weaponry. Impressive.

[GROANING]

COMMANDO: Take him out.

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

JOHNNY: Not bad, not bad.

That's the kind of hustle you gotta give
if you want to play in the big leagues.

If you want to be real supervillains...

Sleepy time now.

Ben? Are you there? What's going on?

You've led me on a merry chase,
Dr. Banner.

It's over. You lose.

And now, thanks to you,
Home Base is gonna have

five superhuman weapons
at their disposal.

[GROANING]

Agent Pratt, still no sign
of the Invisible Woman, sir.

That's why they call it invisible.

She's here. Use your infrared goggles.

[GROANING]

[COMMANDOS GROANING]

Quickly. Drop the others
while they're still disoriented.

You are seriously outclassed here,
Agent Pratt. Give up.

Flame on!

[GROANING]

We have to get Bruce back
before they take off.

Hey, Suzy, how about a lift?

[GRUNTING]

This is a white zone.

There's no abducting big green monsters
in a white zone.

[EXCLAIMING]

JOHNNY: Oh, I'm sorry,
were you trying to take off?

My bad, I melted your rotors.

Do you have the package aboard?

PILOT: Yes, but the thing is...

Take off!

JOHNNY: Whoa!

It's possible that I made a...
That I may have misjudged...

I completely blew it.
I should have told you.

SUZY: Apology accepted,

but we've got bigger problems
at the moment.

They got away with the Hulk,
you know, Bruce.

- What now?
- We go after him.

- Bruce has suffered enough.
- How are we going to find them?

They've got a head start
and rocket engines.

Rocket engines? You wound me.

I've got a fix on Bruce.

His gamma signature is like a flare g*n.
You can't miss it.

PILOT: Sir, I've got inbound closing
on our position.

It looks like...

Radio Home Base. We need backup.

- Ben?
- Yeah, yeah. I see them.

We don't have time for this.
They're already unloading Bruce.

- I'm on it.
- Get to Bruce. I'll help Johnny.

That was kind of fun.

Never get too close to an open flame.

Robot plane go boom.

[CHUCKLES]

Man, I am good.

[GROANING]

- What... What happened?
- It's okay. We're getting you out of...

[GROANING]

[RUMBLING]

Okay, so we've done better rescues.
I'm gonna need your help, pal.

- Me? What do you want me to do?
- Not you. My big green playmate.

What? No.

[STAMMERING] I can't just change, I...
I have to get angry.

Your pants are out of style.
You got a bad haircut.

- What?
- Your momma's so ugly...

Ben, that's not gonna work.

All right, try this.

These guys
are gonna use the Hulk to hurt people.

Innocent people, Banner,
and there's nothing you can do to stop it!

They're going to let out the monster.

BRUCE: No. No.

[GROANING]

[ROARING]

What are you doing, you numbskull?
Not me, them. Attack them.

Rock man made fun of Hulk's momma.

Okay, if that's how we have to do it.

Hey, pea brain. Bring it on.

Hulkie, over here.

You can't hide from Hulk.

[GRUNTS]

[COMMANDOS SCREAMING]

[ROARING]

Hi there. You're in so much trouble.

Hulk is strongest there is.

Hulk knows you.

Stupid man in black
should leave Hulk alone!

Okay.

BEN: Someday you and me
are gonna settle this.

[GROWLING]

Not like that. Two words, arm wrestling.

You lose, Agent Pratt.

You fool.
Do you have any idea who I work for?

I know who you don't work for.

[GROANS]

What about Bruce?

I'll keep working on a cure,
just like for Ben.

I suspect right now, both Bruce Banner
and the Hulk just want to be left alone.

I could have taken him, if I'd wanted to.

How? By breaking his hands
with your face?

Thing smash.