01x09 - Carnival of Crime

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[narrator] Spider-Man.

[inaudible speaking]

[meow]

[inaudible speaking]

[roars]

[narrator] Spider-Man.

[children shouting]

We interrupt this program
for a special bulletin.

Spider-Man has just robbed
the downtown jewelry store.

This is Spider-Man's
third robbery this week.

Hey, I used to think

that Spider-Man was an all-right dude.

All right, men. You heard the chief.

Get Spider-Man.

And I don't care how you do it.

Somehow, I've got to prove
that Spider-Man's innocent

of all these crimes.

[Aunt May] Are you ready, Petey dear?

Ready for what, Aunt May?

Oh, the carnival.

You promised to...

Peter?

[Spider-Man] Uh, I'll be
right there, Aunt May.

Whatever are you doing
in the closet, dear?

Just, uh, fixing the light, Aunt May.

Oh, hmm...

[sighs]

Mortimer, the federal bank
is getting a big shipment of gold,

and I want you to cover the story.

Uncle Jonah!

Don't take any unnecessary chances.

That rotten Spider-Man's
on a crime rampage.

[Mortimer] Don't you worry, Uncle Jonah.

If Spider-Man shows up,
I'll be ready for him.

[people screaming]

[Spider-Man] Are you sure you want
to do this, Aunt May?

[Aunt May] Oh, yes, indeedy.

Unless it's too much for you, dear.

You're really sure you want
to do this, Aunt May?

Of course! Now you let me check

your seatbelt, dear.

Now, what do they say?

Three, two, one.

Blast off!

[beeping]

[people screaming]

Well, that's what we used to call
a real humdinger!

All right! Hurry, hurry, hurry!

Step right up! It's only a quarter.

Who's next?

Ooh, that looks like fun, children.

Uh-oh, my Spider-Sense.

What did you say, Peter?

Uh, I said, "Here we go again."

Hmm.

Why, I haven't been
on one of these in years!

- Peter?
- What, Aunt May?

Maybe you should wait here for us, dear.

I'm worried about you.

Uh, yeah. Right, Aunt May. Thanks.

I think he may have been bitten by a bug.

[grunting, coughing]

[laughing]

[Man] Excellent, boys.

[grunting, wheezing]

[Man] Ringmaster!

[Ringmaster] Come, my friends.

It's time we pulled off
the crime of the century,

and with my special hypnotic gas,

the eyewitnesses will swear

they saw Spider-Man do it.

Ha-ha!

[roaring]

[footsteps approaching]

Consider, if you will,


The crime of the century,

and all blamed on Spider-Man.

[Spider-Man]
Of course, there is one small flaw.

Spider-Man!

Very good! You got it right
the first time.

All right. Get him, boys.

[shouting]

Ooh!

Get him!

[Ringmaster] Get him!

[grunting]

[grunts]

Last stop!

All out!

And you're all through!

[growling]

Yes, I just unlocked
all the animal cages, web spinner!

[roars]

[people screaming]

OK. What will it be, wall crawler,
stopping me or saving

all those innocent people out there?

Your choice, web head!

[Betty] Aunt May! No!

Round one to you, ringmaster.

Quickly now, boys, to the Federal Bank.

[growling]

[roaring]

[snarling]

[animals growling]

[snarling]

[snarling]

At least Aunt May and Betty are safe.

[screeching]

This is worse than
Kiddie Day at the movies.

[people screaming]

[growling]

[elephants trumpeting]

[lions roaring]

[monkey screeching]

Hey, that gives me an idea.

[roaring]

Hi-h*, Jumbo, away!

[laughing]

All right, folks! Trouble's over!

Step right this way, folks. Only a dollar.

Step right up and try your luck.

Only a dollar!

Well, I guess that does it.

[Aunt May] Peter!

Peter, dear! Where are you?

Well, almost.

Oh, no!

[roaring]

Whew!

I'll show Uncle Jonah
I can take pictures better

than that creep Parker.

This is a cinch!

Huh?

[tires screeching]

What are we waiting for?

- [Grab 'em!
- Grab 'em! Ng]

[groaning]

Now!

[groaning]

You'll never get away with this!

One more spider line, please.

Now friend, my hypno-gas

will allow you to believe
you saw Spider-Man

commit this crime.

Sp-Spider-Man stole the gold.

Uh, it was Spider-Man.

Spider-Man took the gold shipment!

[Radio] We interrupt for a special report.

Spider-Man has just
robbed the federal bank

of more than $100 million in gold.

I repeat, Spider-Man has just made off

with $100 million in gold.

More on our regular newscast.

Spider-Man did what?

Oh, something bad, as usual.

Oh, look, Peter, darts!

Come on, let's play a game, shall we?

Huh? Oh, uh, great idea.

Uh, 50 plays. Have fun, you two.

Oh, that's what I call beautiful.

One-hundred million in gold.

Now for the final touch.

Gorgon, son of Kong.

[roaring]

[laughing]
Not even Spider-Man would fight Gorgon.

[Spider-Man]
Haven't you learned your lesson yet?

- Hi there!
- [Ringmaster] Oh, now,

we're not going to go through this again,
are we, wall crawler?

Not planning on it, top hat!

Whoops!

[thud]

[growling]

[roaring]

Wasn't planning on you, either.

[roaring]

Oh, great. I'm out of web fluid.

Good thing I carry refills.

Oh, no!

That was my last refill.

Nice monkey. Good fella.

Aunt May would love this ride!

[laughing]

I can see you two want to be alone,

and I have to make final arrangements

to sell $100 million in gold.

[roaring]

[roaring] [thud]

Ah, of course,

gold is soft.

These bars should...

[roaring]

That will hold him.

Now to stop the ringmaster
from selling that gold.

[Ringmaster] Done.

$100 million in cash.

It will be here in an hour.

Hey, oh. Hey, what's going on?

[shouting]

[groaning]

Don't forget to feed your little friend.

When he's out of bananas,

he gets out of sorts.

[growling]

Nice Gorgon.

Uh, uh, good Gorgon.

Uh, have a banana.

[Spider-Man]
Step right up, ladies and gentlemen!

See the wildest animals of all,

thieves, crooks and dummies!

[Jameson] This is great, my boy!

This should put that blasted Spider-Man

behind bars, for sure! h* h*.

You're due for a raise!

Why, uh, thank you, Uncle Jonah.

[phone ringing]

[imitating chipmunks]

What?

Spider-Man didn't commit the bank robbery?

Some clown at the carnival did?

Mortimer!

But, uh, I... I saw him!

Didn't I?

Hi, Aunt May, Betty! Having fun?

Peter! Oh, at last.

Oh, let's go. We've been worried sick.

Hey, lady! You won the grand prize!

Ooh!

You always said you wanted to get
your hands on Spider-Man, Aunt May.

And I'm putting him
right where he belongs, dear.

[laughing]

[theme song playing]