01x15 - The Incredible Shrinking Spider-Man

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[narrator] Spider-Man.

[inaudible]

[thunder rumbling]

[meows]

[clacking]

[inaudible]

[roars]

[narrator] Spider-Man.

Wonder what's in the box.

[Betty] And what's behind that curtain?

Whatever it is,
it better be worth missing lunch.

Dr. Norton could have waited

till the convention this afternoon.

Maybe he doesn't want anyone
else stealing his thunder.

Parker, take some pictures!
What am I paying you for?

Pay? You mean I get paid?

Not necessarily.

Gotcha!

- [Dr. Norton] Joshua!
- Oh!

Dr. Norton.

How many times must I tell you
to stay out of the lab?

B... But, Doctor Norton...

Not now! The press is waiting.

Ah, big shots.

They'll soon see
who the real genius is.

I have invited the press here
for an advance look

at what may be one
of the greatest inventions

of the century!

The world's first Diminishing Ray!

This I've got to see!

All right, Smedley.

[roaring]

This adjustment's tricky.

Don't want to make him too small.

The press may now take
the "before" pictures.

- As in "before and after."
- [lion roars]

[shutters clicking]

[lion roaring]

What's the matter? Run out of film?

We're confining
that poor animal, Mr. Jameson.

Look at it.

Don't worry. That cage is plenty strong.

All right, that's enough. Save your film

for the "after" shot.

Release him.

[screaming]

It's coming out!

Get behind me!

[audience applauds]

[Jameson] Congratulations, Norton.

[Betty] That's more than incredible.

This is really happening.

Parker? Get those pictures
to the Bugle right away.

A couple more, just in case,
Mr. Jameson.

Don't want to lose our tiny pet.

[meows]

[purring, meows]

This afternoon,

at the International
Inventor's Convention,

I will complete my demonstration

by restoring this lion to his normal size.

[man] The demonstration is over!

Now!

- Joshua!
- Jeer, cheer.

The Gadgeteer is here!

"Jeer, cheer, the Gadgeteer is here?"

The inventor's inventor!

The scientist's scientist!

The weirdo's weirdo.

Uh, he's, uh, just our janitor.

Don't touch that, you bumpkin!

Thank you, Dr. Norton, for your invention.

You can't get away with that!
Call the guards!

You're powerless
before the Gadgeteer!

Where's Peter?

If I know Parker,
he was the first one out!

[cackling]

You're fired, Joshua!

You have just begun to experience

the expertise
and extraordinary inventiveness

of The Gadgeteer!

What do you do for a finish?

You wall-crawling wimp!

Hate to bring
such a diabolical career to an end,

but you know how it is
with diabolical careers.

A little slow today, web head?

Well, it's time I cut you down to size.

Oof! Oh, no!

I don't believe this.

[maniacal laughing]

So long, Spider-Shrimp!

[loud beeping]

He's gone!

And so's my Diminishing Ray.

I'm getting the police!

What a story! Come on.

Parker better have those pictures.

This is weird. Even for me.

What am I gonna do now?

Two inches tall?

You look like Jaws!

What if it never wears off?

The only jobs I could ever get

would be on wedding cakes!

If anybody ever tells me
it's a small world,

have I got news for them!

Got to turn this ray around somehow.

And call Aunt May, so she won't worry.

[loud meowing]

Oh, wow! It's a King Kong kitty!

- [thumping]
- Back. Back!

It worked.

Look. I don't want to hurt you,

but I don't want to be
a kitty-cat snack, either.

- [yowling]
- Hey! Who's hurting who?

In merry-go-rounds,
I'm not behind the brass ring!

Cat munchies.
That's what he wants.

Hang on, kitty! Din-din's coming!

[grunting]

Go, kitty! Pig out!

One thing about being small

- nobody bothers you...
- [footsteps]

much.

Oh, yeah. Gotta call Aunt May.

I need a dime.

Sure, the subway grating.

Aha!

[grunts] I've heard
of inflated money before,

but this is ridiculous!

[bells ring]

Oww!

The bells of St. Mary's!

This is my big number!

[phone rings]

Hello?

Hello?

Whoa, Aunt May,
what a big voice you have.

Aunt May, this is Peter!

Hello? Is anyone there?

[shouting]
Aunt May, it's me! Peter!

[sighs] Must be a bad connection.

- She can't hear me.
- Is anyone there?

- Is this a prank?
- I know, I need a megaphone.

Aunt May! It's me!

Oh, these kids today!

Aunt May, it's me! Don't hang up!

No-good vandals!
Leave the phone off the hook.

Tear the phone book!

Good. Betty left a piece of paper

and a typewriter.

"Betty, tell Aunt May
I'm staying overnight

with a friend. Peter."

Now where did he go?

[man] I demand to see Jameson!

- Whoops!
- Whoop!

Uh, over there. B... But...

Jameson, what are you
trying to do? Ruin me?

- Huh?
- You won't let me advertise my products

in your silly newspaper.

How can I sell them?

This paper will not
have anything to do

with promoting web-headed,
wall-crawling toys!

These are not toys!

They represent the latest
in space-age technology.

Watch.

That's too much!

They can do anything
Spider-Man can do.

Watch. Exactly like Spider-Man.

Uh-huh. And that's exactly
what I don't like about it.

- Hey!
- Uh, uh, it's not supposed to do that.

Ugh, now it's out!

And so are you out. Out, out, out!

You're going to hear from my lawyers!

Out. Out of my office. Now!

Smoke.

The alarm. Why didn't it go off?

There's got to be
an override switch.

Here it is!

- [loud beep]
- It's vibrating too hard!

Can't hold on!

The smoke... [coughing]

I can't see!

[alarm beeping]

No, Mr. Jameson. Not that way.
You might burn yourself.

Good.

Good thing I had those
smoke detectors installed.

"Futuristic Micro-Chip
Computer to Be Unveiled

at the International
Inventors' Convention"?

Now that's something Gadgeteer
just won't pass up.

Web swinging is hard work for a tiny tot.

What I need is a little help.

And the wind is blowing just right.

Hey! Come back!

Lots of great gadgets in there.

Cream of the crop.

Ha! Sour cream, more like it.

I'm better than any of them.

When they look at me,
all they see is a janitor.

Well, look again, dopes!

It's me, the penniless Gadgeteer!

[Spider-Man] The only way to fly!

Whoops! There's the convention below.

A little less in you, and what goes up

must come down...

Only not so fast!

Gadgeteer's got to be gimmicking
around here some place.

With my brain
and this micro-computer,

I'll create gadgets that will make me

king of the world!

Hmm. We've got
to stop meeting like this.

Uh-oh. My Spidey sense is tingling!

There's something going on
in that computer.

Pretty aggressive mice around here.

Two more wires, and you're mine!

But we're not even engaged.

You again!

Just can't keep your friendly
neighborhood Spider-Man down.

Try this, web head!

That ought to warm you up!

I'd better find a fuse box.

Oh, they want traction?

The plug comes out,

and the lights go out!

And now to put the lights
out on the Gadgeteer.

The opening can't be getting bigger.

It's me. I'm... I'm getting smaller.

Yeah! Down half an inch.

If I can't find the ray and reverse it,

Spider-Man will be Spider-molecule!

Just a little thing I picked up
at the convention, web brain!

This is no toy.

You're finished!

Seems to me
I've heard those words before.

Victory in numbers, they always say.

[whispering] Shh!
Don't anybody say a word.

Hmm. Which is the real web head?

I'm all around you, web slinger!

You're not fooling me this time!

[grunts]

Oop, and I toy around with him.

Yoo-hoo! Over here!

The fool! His ego will be his downfall.

All together now!

Those webs! I can't see!

I'm losing power!

[whistling]

Thanks, fellas, I owe you one.

What do you know?

A rat hole.

The perfect hiding place for Gadgeteer.

Hey!

Whew! Lucky I landed on something soft.

This looks familiar.

Too familiar!

It's a spider web.

And the lady of the house is at home.

A black widow!

I hope she realizes I'm not a relative.

Black widows have a nasty habit
of eating their husbands.

Uh, nice lady!

Go away. Please?

Oh, I'm stuck!

My only chance...

[grunting] A spider web slingshot!

[groaning]

She was putting on
too much weight anyway.

Now for Gadgeteer.

I'll get back to normal size,

and then, Spider-Man, watch out!

It's my turn in the spotlight, mister!

No!

Little man, you've had a busy day.

I think this belongs to you.

The Miniaturizing Ray.

Thank goodness, but...

What about the man who stole it?

Joshua, the Gadgeteer?

But...

But why did you do it, Joshua?

Why?

Mm, because you never listen to me.

[wailing] You never listen to me!

What did he say?

[theme music playing]