01x11 - Halloween Moon

[bunniefuu]

Ah, Halloween!

[GRUNTS]

The night all must beware of Horse-Man!

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello-o-o-o-o!

I mean, hi, Harry.

Where are you, Pete?
The Horizon Halloween party's started,

and I kind of feel like a horse's behind.

Relax. I know you didn't leave school
on the best terms.

But it's Halloween.

Everyone just wants to have fun.

-[GIRL LAUGHING]
-No. I mean, I literally feel

like a horse's behind.

PETER: Oh, yeah. Right.
The horse's head is on the way.

I'll be there before you can even say...

[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

[SIGHS]

"With great power
comes great responsibility."

Why would I say that?
What does that even mean?

Uh, it means I'm running late,
but I'll be there as soon as I can.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

[CLAMORING]
[CREATURE GROWLING]

Did a bear break out of the zoo?

It's worse!

A lion?

[GROWLING]

A werewolf?
Well, I guess it is Halloween night.

[GRUNTS]

But, still, kind of predictable.

Ah!

Okay. I didn't predict that.

Well, your costume definitely wins
Most Painfully Realistic.

That's an award, right?

[GROWLING]
[GRUNTS]

My, what big--

Stop me if you've heard this one.

[GROWLING]
[GRUNTS]

It was a bad joke. I admit it!

[THUNDEROUS THUD]

It's been 10 minutes
since I smashed something.

[SPIDER-MAN GRUNTING]

Now get off the kid!

[GRUNTS]
I don't think Hulk's kidding.

[GROWLING]

[GROWLING]

[GRUNTS]

That's right, wolfie.
Hulk don't kid around.

Out of the way, bug.
[GRUNTS]

Trick or smash, ugly!

[GRUNTS]

[GROWLING]

Well, actually, I'm named Spider-Man,
and, uh--

Yeah, you don't care.

Shut up and get to safety.

[GRUNTS]

Yes, sir. Shutting up.

Although, I'm a superhero too, you know.

Got these mad spider skills.

I'm not at your level, of course, but--

And you're not listening.

Well, I guess you've got this
under control.

I have this thing I need to get to, and--

Wait. What's happening?

[GROANING]

Did that crystal just drain
some of Hulk's power?

[GRUNTS THEN YELLS]

[GROWLING]

This thing's much bigger
and angrier than me.

But I might be a little smarter.

Put a little leverage
and inertia on my side, and...

[GRUNTS]

[WEREWOLF GRUNTS]

[WEREWOLF HOWLING]

-No one expects Slingshot Spider-Man.
-[HULK GROANING]

I should trademark that.

Hulk, the werewolf's run off. We better--

-Dr. Banner?
-Yes.

Thank you.

Wow.
[CHUCKLES]

I don't want this to get awkward,
but I'm a huge fan.

Probably a bad time for a selfie, right?

I think so, yeah.

Ah, I'm sorry. I'm just overexcited.

Your paper on gamma radiation decay
is such a thrilling read.

Wow.

Usually it's the Hulk
that people go fanboy over.

Actually, always.

-[BANNER SIGHS]
-Well, you're a scientist

and I'm a scientist.

I mean, I hope to be one day.

I wasn't suggesting we're both
on the same level. It's just--

Please stop. I get it.

So just hypothesizing here.

That thing around the werewolf's neck
that drained your power

couldn't be mystical, right?

Because magic isn't real.

Even on Halloween.

I detected a gamma spike from my lab
and traced it to that gem.

It seems to absorb
and radiate gamma energy.

Might be what fueled
the Man-Wolf's transformation.

Man-Wolf?

You think that thing's a person?

Possibly a human
trapped inside a rage monster.

Something I'm a little familiar with.

Come on. I need help hunting him down.

Hope you didn't have any plans
for the evening.

Yeah, and maybe we can find you a shirt?

Pete, you're now 45 minutes late,

and everyone is starting at me, judging.

Yeah, I'm dressed up
as a great white shark.

Harry Osborn?

...a dangerous guy.

At Horizon High.

Are you here to make sure
all our parties end

with you saying you're staying
at Oz Academy?

[CHUCKLES]
Very funny, Gwen.

Pete invited me.

And what's your costume?

Guy who lurks in the corner
dressed as a horse's rear?

I'll give you points for originality.

Pete and I were supposed
to be a costume together,

but he's obviously not here, and, well...

kind of uncomfortable since, as you said,
I sort of ruined Horizon's last party.

Don't be silly.

On Halloween night,
you can pretend to be anyone you want.

SPIDER-MAN: Don't you have some kind
of gamma tracker or something?

Well, I did.

Kind of got smashed.

It's a constant job hazard.

So, when we find this thing,

you're gonna be able
to Hulk out on him, right?

Not yet.
He drained too much energy from me.

I don't have the strength.

And this Man-Wolf could be anywhere.

[BOY GASPS]

There's a werewolf on the loose!

[LAUGHTER]
Oh, yeah? Good costume, Kurt.

No, not me! A real werewolf!

[GROWLING THEN SNARLING]

So, we could take
the super creepy path...

or the other super creepy path.

Nah. This isn't horrifying at all.

[CELL PHONE BUZZES LOUDLY]
[STARTLED YELL]

Emergency on the Arachna-Phone?

Something like that.

You can't imagine how hard it is
to live two separate lives--

Yeah, forget I said that.

Look, Harry, I'm sorry.

There's been this emergency.
I still plan to make it. I--

HARRY: Do not come here!
Send for help! We're under attack!

Attacked by what?

HARRY:
It's a giant werewolf!

I think we found him!

[CLAMORING]

[ROARING]

[BOY SCREAMING]

[GROANS]

[CRIES OUT]

Everyone, get to safety!

[GROWLS]

[GRUNTS]

Osborn!

Jameson?

[GROWLING]

Hey, do you even go to this school?

Because something tells me
you're not on the guest list, wolfie!

[WEREWOLF GRUNTS]
[SPIDER-MAN YELLING]

Really?
Not one person dressed as Spider-Man?

[MAN-WOLF GRUNTING]
[STUDENTS EXCLAIM]

Hey, Man-Wolf,
too much candy can be bad for you!

Terrible party guest.

[PANTING]
[GROWLING SOFTLY]

We need to keep the creature contained

until I can find a way
to reverse the transformation.

Don't let him out of your sight.

-Huh?
-Huh?

[GROWLS]

[GROWLING]
Uh...

[SNARLING]

[GROWLING]

[SNARLING]
[HOWLING]

Do I keep an eye on those guys too?

Wow. Crazy wolf seems to be
a popular costume this year.

BANNER:
Not a good time for jokes.

What about panicking?

Is it a good time for that?

Harry, Gwen, evacuate everyone!

HARRY: Go! Go!
-Everybody stay calm!

-Head towards the exits!
-Go, go, go!

They're acting on instinct,
circling a perceived threat.

But they're just infected students.

There's gotta be a way to stop them
without hurting them.

I like your thinking. Establish facts.
What do we know about them?

Well, Ted there got an A
on his last science project,

-and Julie started--
-I meant, now that they're wolves.

-Scientific name: Canis Iupus.
-[HOWLING]

Oh. Right!

Well, they're pack hunters
with a strong sense of smell

-and a strong sense of--
-[GASPS]

[ROARING]
[GRUNTS]

[YIPES]

Hearing. That's it!

[WHIMPERING]
[GROWLING]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
[WEREWOLVES WHINING]

SPIDER-MAN:
What's wrong? This not your jam?

Spider-Man, everyone's clear.

[GROANS]
[GRUNTS]

"Everyone" should have included you two.

Put the school on lockdown!

We don't want these things getting out
and infecting anyone else!

[PANTING]

[GRUNTS]
[ALARM BLARING]

[ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]
[ALARM CONTINUES BLARING]

I've always wanted to see that.

[GRUNTS]

That's why wolfmen are rarely deejays.

Whoa!

[ROARING]

A werewolf ripping speakers apart.

That's the most heavy metal thing
I've ever seen!

You should start a band.
You have enough backup singers.

Are you trying to make me angry
by joking instead of fighting?

Humor is how I deal with things.

Must be nice, because anger
is how I deal with things.

Wait. Aren't you still gamma-weak?

Only one way to find out!

-[BANNER GRUNTS]
-Dr. Banner!

[GROANS]

[GROWLING]

[GRUNTING]

Uh, can you all not chow down on me
if I find you something meatier?

There's a rib joint across the street.

[ROARING]

[ROARS]

[GRUNTS]

Not this time, loser.

Perfect timing, big green.

Time to take some of your own medicine!

[YELLS]

[THUD]
[GRUNTS]

[BOTH GASP]

[ROARING]

Wait! They're just kids!

What do you want me to do, pet them?

[GROWLING AND SNARLING]

We need to contain them.

There's a storage vault
on the floor below us.

How do we lure them down there?
Throw a bunch of dog bones?

Because I'm all out at the moment.

[SNARLING CONTINUES]

One floor down? No problem.

You're not gonna do what I think you are?
Oh, yes, you are.

[GWEN AND HARRY YELL]
[HULK YELLS]

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

[DEBRIS CLATTERING]

Taking the Hulk Express
to the bottom floor!

This whole school is a laboratory.

You could've destroyed
sensitive equipment.

That's something Banner would've realized.

Banner's lame.
You're better off with Hulk.

[GROWLING]

SPIDER-MAN: So much for hoping the fall
knocked out the gamma werewolves.

Maybe we could, like,
herd them into the vault.

HULK:
That'll take forever.

[GRUNTS]

I'm getting that
you're a direct approach kind of guy.

[ALL GRUNTING]

That'll hold them for a little while.

[THUDDING]
The original Man-Wolf

is still somewhere in the building.
We need to find him.

There's enough spare gear down here.

I think I could rig up
some gamma detectors.

Help me find components.

We need answers.

Like, who is this Man-Wolf?

[SIGHS]
I'm pretty sure it's my lab partner,

John Jameson.

That thing around his neck
is a lunar crystal.

HARRY: We were developing it
to absorb gamma radiation.

[BEEPING]
[GROANS]

Great idea.

It uses the radiation
to stimulate certain genetic traits,

like wolf characteristics in humans.

Better vision, speed, strength.

For medical purposes.

The good news is, the experiment worked.

It seems like he tracked you here.

Maybe he thinks you're the only person
who can help him.

Like he's fighting his animal nature
from the inside.

I'll fight his animal nature
from the outside.

By my calculations,
if we encase the crystal

in a positively ionized
containment device,

-it will cease to exert influence.
-Huh?

She's saying if we get
the rock away from the wolf,

everything goes back to normal.

That chemical waste unit
should do the trick.

And these gamma detectors are done.

Then let's split up
and search for the Man-Wolf.

I'm going with the big guy here
to make sure he doesn't destroy

any more valuable equipment.

[DETECTOR CRACKLING]

Can't you just walk like a normal person?

I'm Spider-Man. It's what I do.

Fine.

You know, if you weren't
so angry at me all the time,

I think we could actually be friends.

I already have friends, thanks.

I'm not surprised.

You obviously have a winning personality.

Look, I'm a little annoyed,

because the whole reason I came
to this stupid party

was to hang out with my best friend,

but he couldn't make it,
and then all this happened.

I'm sure he has a solid excuse.

He always does.

[SIGHS]

It's just that Halloween's
always been our holiday.

We dress up. It's the only day
I don't have to be Harry Osborn.

Hey, being the son of Norman Osborn
doesn't seem so bad.

That's exactly the problem.

Everybody sees me as Norman Osborn's son.

But Peter is the only one
who sees me as me.

I had no idea.

-Why would you?
-[CHIRPING]

We got a hit!

What's taking so long?

Ugh!

Your natural gamma radiation
is interfering with the tracker.

I have to filter it out.
What wavelength are you at?

-Say what?
-Come on!

You were on the Nobel Prize shortlist.

That was the other guy.

You two literally share a brain.

The information's gotta be
in there somewhere. Just think.

[FRUSTRATED GRUNT]
[THUDDING]

Vault won't hold forever!

[WEREWOLVES GROWLING]

Huh?
[HUFFS]

[GRUNTS]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hold up, big guy!

It's us! We tracked a gamma reading.

[DETECTORS CRACKLING]
But I guess it's just you.

No! Wait! It's not him.

The reading is coming from--

[MAN-WOLF ROARING]

[WHIMPERING]
[GRUNTS]

Aah!

[GRUNTING]
[GROWLING]

Spidey, heads up!
[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

-Mind if I borrow this?
-[ROARING]

Done and done.

[GROANING]

You-- You saved me.

[HULK ROARING]

Who's gonna save us?

SPIDER-MAN:
Hulk? Buddy?

[GROWLING]

You wouldn't wolf out on a fellow here,
now, would you?

[GROWLING]

[THUDDING]
[MUFFLED GRUNTING]

[SNARLING]

[GROWLING CONTINUES]

So much for everything
going back to normal.

[HULK AND WEREWOLVES GROWLING]

New strategy.

Run!

[GROWLING]

The scratches from the Man-Wolf must not
be the only thing that transformed them.

Maybe it's a combo of the scratches
and gamma rays from the lunar crystal.

Yes! The changes need
a gamma source to sustain them.

You contained the crystal,
but Hulk is different.

His body generates its own gamma rays.

HARRY: So the Hulk's body
is acting as its own lunar crystal,

fueling not only the Hulk
but the other werewolves as well?

That's why they haven't changed back!

This keeps getting better.

Hulk! Banner! Try to take control!

[GRUNTS AND GROANS]

Hey, taught you a new trick.

[SNARLING]

[GRUNTS]

This is all my fault.

[HULK-WOLF ROARING]

Nice doggy!

[ROARING]

All right.
Let's find some other way to stop them.

HARRY:
Yeah? Any idea how?

You're scientists. This is a lab.

What more could you want?

[GROWLING]

[SPIDER-MAN GRUNTS]

He's right. Search around.

[GROANS]
Hi, guys.

Let me guess.
You're just here for a quick bite.

I should be writing these jokes down.

[WEREWOLVES GROWLING]

Eat water cannon, fuzz ball!

Although technically,
it should be "drink water cannon."

I'm new at this.

[GROWLING]

Air concussion! Ha!
I can't believe that worked.

JAMESON:
How about some amped-up pilot burner?

You guys did it!

-Science rules! Take it away, team!
-[SNARLING]

[CRYING OUT]

[GRUNTS]
[HARRY LAUGHS]

We just knocked back the Hulk!

Gwen, crystal me!

All right. Let's see
if we can get our gamma train on.

[PAINED GROWLING]
JAMESON: It's working!

What about the others?

[ALL GROWLING]

Should've worked on them.

[GRUNTS]

-Keep going!
-I thought you hated puny Banner.

Sometimes you need puny.

GWEN:
Hulk's right.

As long as he's giving off gamma rays,
the kids won't turn back completely.

GWEN:
We need him puny!

[GROANING]

[CRIES OUT]

[BOTH CRYING OUT]

[GROANING]

Good to see you again, Doctor.
The other guy says hello.

Perfect.

Once the scratches heal,

they'll no longer be susceptible
to gamma transformations.

You did it, Spider-Man.

Great. Now let's get you both shirts.

[CHATTERS OVER RADIO]

It's hard to explain,
but they were werewolves, and--

We're EMT's in New York.

We're used to weird calls on Halloween.

So, what do we do with the crystal?

This was my fault, and I can fix it.

I have the proper materials at my lab
to depower this gem

and destroy it forever.

And we should just trust
that you won't mess this up again, why?

No, it's true.

He made a whole protocol for disposing
of it in case things went wrong.

It's safe with him now.

I never remember
my time as Hulk very clearly,

but I imagine if it weren't for you,

tonight would've gone very badly.

Thank you.

I wanna thank you too.

SPIDER-MAN: I'm still new at this,
and splitting my time

between my identity as a civilian
and my identity as a superhero isn't easy.

Spending time around someone--

Well, two someones,

with the same problem
has helped me feel less alone.

[CHUCKLES]
Maybe it's time for that selfie.

JAMESON:
Mr. Osborn? Sir?

The lunar crystals field test worked
better than could've been imagined.

So I can see.

But I instructed you
not to get my son involved.

That was the whole point
of having you test it alone.

I know, sir.

But as the Man-Wolf,
I had conflicting instincts.

It was problematic.

So, there are issues of mental control.

But once we overcome them,

the power of the crystal
will be nearly limitless.

BOY: It's true!
I turned into a real werewolf!

-Talk about crying wolf.
-For serious!

I was locked in a vault,
and the Hulk was there, and--

Eh, sure! You are such a liar!

Come on!

Is he for real?

-Sounds terrifying.
-Actually...

now that it's over,
it was kind of awesome!

I mean-- Pfft-- Hulk-Wolf! Come on!

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Thanks for warning me to stay away.

Although I'm sorry we didn't get
to hang at the Halloween party.

That's okay, Pete.
Our friendship trumps Halloween any day.

-Why's that?
-No reason to ever wear a mask.