03x04 - Spider-Man vs. Desperado

[bunniefuu]

Narrator: It Was An Ordinary Day

In The Big City, A Dull Afternoon...

Or, At Least, That's How It Looked

To Our Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man

As He Patrols The City From Above,

Watching For Criminal Activity.

h*-Hum. It's Really Dullsville Today.

I Might As Well Go Home And Do Some Homework.

Hello. What's That?

[Hoofbeats]

Sounds Like...
Horse's Hooves.

Holy Cats!

I Don't Believe It!

What A Fantastic Getup--

A Flying Cowboy On An Electronic Horse!

Am I Going Batty, Or Did I Really See It?

Well, I'd Better Look Into This.

Hey, Louie, Do You See What I See?

I Hope Not, Harry.

Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Hold On, You Varmints. I Ain't Rid All This Way

To Have You Ornery Critters Faint On Me.

[Coins Rattling]

Reach For The Sky,
Cowpokes.

Now, When You Get Back To Town, You Can Tell The Marshal

It Was Me Who Robbed The Stagecoach--

Desperado, The Terror Of The Pecos!

Ha Ha Ha Ha!

I Don't Know
When They Let You

Out Of The Looney
Bin, Mister,

But You Can't
Get Away With--

Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Ha Ha! You Fellas Been Drinking Firewater Or Something?

Ha Ha!

That Kooky Cowboy Is Robbing The Bank Van.

Well, Here's Where I Spike His g*ns.

Well, Well, Here Comes The Posse.

Get Up There,
Old Paint.

[Thud]

Ha Ha Ha Ha!

[Hoofbeats Receding]

Ooh...That Was
A Cute Trick.

Well, You Got Away
This Time.

But I'll Be Looking Forward To The Next Round.

No Clues Yet
As To The Identity

Of The Mysterious Cowboy Criminal

Whose Fantastic Exploits Have Terrorized The City.

Land Sakes, Peter!
What Next?

Flash! Word Has Just Been Handed Me That Desperado,

The Flying Bandit In Cowboy Togs,

Is Breaking Into The Barret Jewelry Company

On West Street.

Uh, Excuse Me,
Aunt May.

I Feel Like
Some Air.

I Guess I'll
Take A Walk.

This Time, That Fugitive From A Grade-B Western

Won't Get Away.

Web, Do Your Stuff.

Hold On, Partner. It's Roundup Time.

Well, Bust My Buttons.

If It Ain't The Dude In The Funny Outfit.

Get Up, Old Paint. So Long, Old Buddy.

Don't You Take Any Wooden Indians Now.

Ha Ha Ha Ha!

I'm Hitting The Trail After You, Outlaw.

Then Watch Out For My Dust, Sheriff.

What In Tarnation?

[Bang]

We'll Meet Again,
Old Buddy,

And When We Do, It'll Be The Last Roundup, I Promise You.

Hmm...There
Must Be Some Way

To Get That Cornball Cowpoke In A Corner.

But How? Ooh!

Hmm...Maybe...

[Snap]

That's It.

What A Beautiful Idea.

Now To See If I Can Get Jonah Jameson

To Play Along
With The Plot.

Web, Do Your Stuff.

Sounds Like A Harebrained Stunt To Me, Jameson,

But If You're Willing To Play Along With Spider-Man's Scheme,

So Will My Department.

Yeah.
How About That?

I Thought
You Were Dead-Set

Against
Spider-Man, Chief.

How Come You're Willing To Play Along?

You Don't Think
For One Minute

I'm Falling For Spider-Man's Phony Line, Do You?

Ha! That Cowboy Crook

And His Web-Slinging Pal Don't Fool Me One Bit!

But, Chief, Spider-Man And Desperado Aren't Allies.

After Those 2 Battles They Fought,

They Must Be
Deadly Enemies.

Why Else Would Spider-Man Cook Up This Trap?

Blamed If I Know! But I'll Tell You This--

A Phony Fight Or 2 Means Nothing!

Those 2 Are In Cahoots, And I'm Going To Prove It!

Spider-Man's Idea Is That Rigging

This Phony Exhibit Of Western Stuff

Will Draw Desperado Like A Fly To Honey.

All Right,
But Spider-Man

Plans To Be There To Capture Desperado,

And That's Where Villainous Trickery Comes In.

We'll Secretly Have The Cops There

To Grab
Both Spider-Man

And His Cow-Punching Pal When They Make Their Play.

You'll See!

Golly. What A Pickle.

So I Not Only Got To Fight Desperado,

But The Cops As Well.

Why Do I Have To Be

One Of The Good Guys All The Time?

[Creak]

Shucks! That Blamed Skylight Is Too Dern Small

For Me To Get Old Paint Through.

Guess I'll Have To Climb Down Myself.

Man: Hold It Right There, Desperado.

So, It Were A Trap All The Time, Eh, Marshal?

But If'n You Think You Can Outdraw The Terror Of The Pecos,

You've Got Another Thing Coming.

Yep. Hold It
Right There.

Now Put Down
Them g*ns.

[Smash]

What The--

Phonies, All Of Them! I've Been Hornswoggled!

Spider-Man: That's One Word For It, Cowpoke.

You!

Yep. That's Right,
Partner.

Now Get Ready For... A Mug Full Of Knuckles.

Got To Concentrate... Break The Spell,

Before It's...Too Late.

Luckily My Spider Vision Was Strong Enough

To Fight Off The Power

Of That Hypnotic Light-g*n Long Enough.

How Do You Like Being

Roped And Hog-Tied, Eh, Desperado?

Guess I Know A Trick Or 2 With The Old Lasso Bit.

Hold It Right There, Spider-Man.

Oops. I Forgot About The Brave Boys In Blue.

I Don't Know What Your Game Is, Spider-Man,

But If You Surrender,

I'll Guarantee You A Fair Trial.

[Thud]

Ooh!

Spider-Man: Sorry, Boys. Some Other Time Maybe.

Well, You Won't Get Away, At Least.

I Don't Know What Plot Spider-Man Had In Mind,

But He Had
One Good Idea.

Huh? You Mean--

Separating You From That Mechanical Fiddle Of Yours

Sure Cuts Down Your Chances At A Fast Getaway.

Uh, Mr. Jameson...

I See Spider-Man's
Plan Worked.

He Captured Desperado After All.

Ah! He's Got You Fooled, Too, Eh, Parker?

I'll Tell You,
He And Desperado

Were Partners
In A Crime Wave.

But This Time, His Smart Tricks Backfired On Him,

And We Got Desperado!

Next Time, We'll Get That No-Good Web-Slinger, Too!

Yes, Sir.
If You Say So.

[Theme Music Playing]

♪ Spider-Man,
Spider-Man ♪

♪ Does Whatever A Spider Can ♪

♪ Spins A Web Any Size ♪

♪ Catches Thieves Just Like Flies ♪

♪ Look Out, Here Comes The Spider-Man ♪

♪ Is He Strong?
Listen, Bud ♪

♪ He's Got Radioactive Blood ♪

♪ Can He Swing From A Thread? ♪

♪ Take A Look Overhead ♪

♪ Hey There, There Goes The Spider-Man ♪

♪ In The Chill Of Night ♪

♪ At The Scene
Of A Crime ♪

♪ Like A Streak
Of Light ♪

♪ He Arrives Just In Time ♪

♪ Spider-Man, Spider-Man ♪

♪ Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man ♪

♪ Wealth And Fame He's Ignored ♪

♪ Action Is His Reward ♪

♪ To Him, Life Is A Great Big Bang-Up ♪

♪ Wherever There's A Hang-Up ♪

♪ You'll Find The Spider-Man ♪