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03x07 - The Vanishing Doctor Vespasian

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Spider-Man". Aired: September 9, 1967 – June 14, 1970.*
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Series revolved around teenager Peter Parker, a high school student who develops extraordinary strength and spider-like powers after being bitten by a radioactive spider.

03x07 - The Vanishing Doctor Vespasian

Post by bunniefuu »

[Theme Music Playing]

♪ Spider-Man,
Spider-Man ♪

♪ Does Whatever A Spider Can ♪

♪ Spins A Web Any Size ♪

♪ Catches Thieves Just Like Flies ♪

♪ Look Out, Here Comes The Spider-Man ♪

♪ Is He Strong?
Listen, Bud ♪

♪ He's Got Radioactive Blood ♪

♪ Can He Swing From A Thread? ♪

♪ Take A Look Overhead ♪

♪ Hey There, There Goes The Spider-Man ♪

♪ In The Chill Of Night ♪

♪ At The Scene
Of A Crime ♪

♪ Like A Streak
Of Light ♪

♪ He Arrives Just In Time ♪

♪ Spider-Man, Spider-Man ♪

♪ Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man ♪

♪ Wealth And Fame He's Ignored ♪

♪ Action Is His Reward ♪

♪ To Him, Life Is A Great Big Bang-Up ♪

♪ Wherever There's A Hang-Up ♪

♪ You'll Find The Spider-Man ♪

Now, The Final Test.

Yes. This Should Make It Palatable.

Brutus.

Breakfast, My Pet?

Yes. Drink It Down.

Drink It All Down,
My Pet.

Let Your Hunger Tell Me I Have Unlocked The Power

I So Yearn To Taste.

Ha Ha Ha! Eureka!

Yes! I've Done It!

Invisocine!

At Last, My Long-Sought Chemical Reagent

That Transparently Reacts With Body Tissue

And Renders The Flesh Invisible.

Look, Brutus. It's True!

Invisocine!

Ha Ha Ha Ha!

For Years,
I, Dr. Vespasian,

Have Labored With Lesser Discoveries...

[Buzzing]

Laser-Beam Bank Rays,

Capable Of Smashing The Strongest Safe Door,

Making For Fast, Easy Withdrawal

With My Money Magnets.

[Air Whooshing]

Heh Heh Heh!

All Mere Child's Play Compared To This.

Invisocine!

Yes, Brutus, Don't Be Alarmed. No One Will Know

How Our Transparent Condition Will Better Suit

The Performances Of Our Unsightly Deeds.

[Knock On Door]

Ah.

[Barking]

Expected Guests.
Good.

[Barking]

Brutus, Still!
Heh Heh Heh.

I Will Call You When I Need You.

Spider-Man.

I Came As Soon As I Got Your Message, Mr. Mayor.

Yes. I'm Afraid
We Have Need

Of Your Special
Talents Again.

Mr. Sloat Represents

The Interests Of The Banking Community.

And I Tell You, We're Getting Fed Up

With All These Robberies Lately--

Bank Vaults Melting Away, Money Disappearing,

No Culprits Brought To Justice.

We Don't Have
Any Clues.

These Crimes
Follow

A Completely
New Procedure.

And I'm Afraid It's Going To Get Worse

Before It Gets Better.

Hmm? What Does
He Mean By That?

It Means, From All The Evidence,

That A Great Brain Has Joined The Forces Of Crime.

That's Why
We Called You In.

We Want You To Pit Your Skills Against His.

But Who Is He, This Invisible Brain?

Yes! Invisible!

Wow!

Where Did He Go?

Boy!

And Yes, My Criminal Colleagues,

I Propose
To Cut You All In

On The Fruits Of My Latest Discovery.

Wait A Minute,
Dr. Vespasian.

Yes, Duke?

It's Us Who Was
Cutting You In.

Ain't We Paid
For Your Lab,

Set You Up
With Chemicals?

You Was Taking
Orders From Us.

My Dear Mr. Duke,

All That's Been Changed Around Now.

Oh, Yeah?
I'm Changing It Back.

Vespasian: Brutus.

[Brutus Growling]

[Crash]

Get That Mutt
Off Of Me!

Brutus,
That Will Be Enough.

I Believe Mr. Duke Is With Us.

Yeah. You're
The Boss, Doc.

Very Well. Our Target For Tonight...

Is Spider-Man.

His Total Destruction Is Our Ultimate Goal.

Yeah, But How
Do We Do It?

Very Simple.
We Bait A Trap,

And When He Bites, We Bite. Ha Ha Ha!

All Quiet There, But...

Hmm...

This Must Be
The Place.

Holy Cats!

Vespasian:
Brutus...Now!

[Brutus Growling]

Duke: Ok, Boss, He's On His Way.

Vespasian: Brutus...Get Ready.

Holy Cats!

Vespasian:
Brutus...Now!

[Brutus Growling]

Time To Split.

Maybe It Was Better

When I Couldn't See What I Was Up Against.

What You Need
Is A Leash.

[Crash]

Thus Another Bank Was Robbed Last Night,

And Once More, The Thieves Made A Clean Getaway.

All That Remained Behind Were Signs Of A Great Struggle

And Tattered Fragments Of Spider-Man's Uniform,

Which Leads Us To Believe

The World May Have Seen The Last

Of The Intrepid
Web Wonder,

This On The Day The Crown Jewels Of Ranchipur

Arrive In The City,

Presently Under Heavy Guard At The Third Tibetan Bank.

Ha Ha Ha. I Predict

The Guard Won't Be Heavy Enough.

Ha Ha Ha!

I Second The Motion.

With Spider-Man
Out Of The Way,

The Whole City Is Our Oyster, Eh, Boss?

Quite So. Ha Ha Ha!

I'd Give Anything To See The Mayor's Frightened Face Now.

Duke: And He'd Give Anything To See Yours.

Ha Ha!

Frankly,
I'm Frightened.

So Am I.

I Have A Feeling He May Show Up Tonight.

You Can Bet He Will. What's To Stop Him?

Yes. That Story
Of Your Demise

Plus The Arrival Of The Crown Jewels

Is Sure
To Embolden Him.

That's The Plan. You've Done As I Asked?

Your Instructions Have Been Followed.

My Men Have Been Installing The Apparatus All Day.

Though What You Want With An Ice-Cream Truck

In A Bank Vault Is Purely Beyond Me.

You've Heard Of Custards's Last Stand?

Sloat: What Did He Mean By That?

I Suspect We're Going To Find Out.

See Anything,
Riley?

Not A Soul, Sir.

Nobody Passed
This Way.

[Pow]

Heh Heh Heh.

Sleeping
On The Job, Hmm?

Ha Ha Ha Ha!

If I'm Not Mistaken,

Here Lies The Glory Of The Orient.

Spider-Man:
Guess Again.

Just Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.

You!

In The Flesh.

That Can Be
Eliminated.

Time To Sweeten Your Disposition.

Try A Little
Whipped Cream.

You Miserable Wretch!

Don't Like
Whipped Cream?

Try A Little Custard.

Frozen.

Why, You--

I Thought
You'd Like That.

The Boys Worked So Hard To Surprise You.

Oh, But There's More.

Coconut Custard Cream.

Chocolate-Flavored
Syrup.

Pistachio.

Vanilla.

And Of Course, No Sundae Is Complete

Without The Sprinkles.

[Sputtering]

That Should Hold Him For A While.

We Picked Up The Rest Of His g*ng Around The Corner.

You Sure
Pegged Him Right.

Once His Dog Showed Us To The Invisibility Gimmick,

I Figured His Master Played The Same Game.

Yes, I Must Say,

Your Unorthodox
Methods

Certainly Quashed
His Plans.

Well, I Guess You Could Say We Creamed Him.

[All Laughing]