01x03 - The Phantom of Film City

[bunniefuu]

It was the world's strangest accident

while testing a new rocket ship. Our

heroes were bombarded by mysterious

cosmic rays from outer space.

Though they crash landed safely, the

strange and powerful rays had changed

each one of them. Transforming their

leader Reed Richards into the plastic

skinned Mr. Fantastic,

Sue Richards into the Now you see her,

Now you don't. Invisible Girl

and Ben Grimm into a mighty muscled

powerhouse called the Thing.

Now, together with Herbie the Robot, the

newest member of the group, they have

become the greatest team of superheroes

the world has ever known.

The new Fantastic Four.

In their amazing flying Fantastic R, four

of the world's greatest superheroes

patrol the peaceful skies high above New

York City. My, isn't it an absolutely

beautiful day?I mean, it makes a person

glad just to be alive. It sure does, Sue.

My sentiments, exactly. Oh, what does a

walking, talking wastebasket know about

beautiful days, huhHey, you keep

forgetting, Herbie. You're nothing but a

robot. Stop teasing Herbie, Ben. He's a

lot more than just a robot. You know good

and well that Herbie stands for Humanoid

Electronic Robot B-style. Oh, he

knows all right, Reed. He just doesn't

understand all the big words. Right,

Benjamin?I do so. Most

of them, anyway. After all, I bet.

Hey. You know I don't like being

called Benjamin! Hold it, you two! What

is it, Sue?Look down there! That

huge tank-like vehicle, it's charging at

the side of that bank! It's...

Now what's it up to?Holy cow.

Hey, Reed, am I seeing things or is that

gizmo swooping up that money like a

vacuum cleaner?You're not imagining it,

then. That machine, whatever it is, seems

to be robbing a bank in broad daylight.

They got a lot of nerve trying a stunt

like that with a good old Fantastic

Fours on the job. Wait, everybody.

Something about all this doesn't quite

compute. What do you mean?It'd be as

plain as the nose on your face if you had

one. Herbie's programmed not to make

mistakes, Ben. We'll just hover here for

a few seconds and see what happens next.

Nuts to that stretcho. By that time,

they'll get away. Ben, don't.

Geronimo.

Hey, what happened?Oh, no wonder

it collapsed. This whole blame tank's

made out of plastic. And this money

is as $40 as a $3 bill. In fact,

it is a $3 bill.

Ben, are you all right?Sure. As long as I

don't try to spend any of the dough from

this bank. HmmSomething

strange is going on around here.

You. HuhYou've ruined it.

You've ruined everything. What do you

mean?We just saved this bank from being

robbed, and you-- It wasn't being robbed,

you walking rock pile. We were making a

movie, and you just ruined the last

scene. You mean this is all just a movie

set?That's right. Well, how are we

supposed to know, huhYou should have put

up signs. Besides, who are you

anyway?The prop man?

What?You mean you don't recognize

me?My world-famous checkered hat, my

megaphone?I'm J.J.

Colosso, one of the greatest, most famous

film directors in the world. Never heard

of you. And this machine, as well as

that fake brick wall made out of

cardboard, was a part of my latest and

greatest picture. What picture's that?The

gigantic vacuum cleaner that devoured

New York. And now you've

wrecked my machine! We... We

didn't know. If there's anything we can

do, Mr. Colosso... My computer powers can

duplicate the plans for the demolished

machine in a few seconds. And I could do

the muscle work if I have to. Well,

perhaps you could make amends at that.

The machine could be repaired for the

final scene. And

besides, I've been planning to

contact the world-famous Fantastic Four

as soon as this film was completed.

To offer you the starring

roles in my very next film.

What?Yes, it will be called the

Fantastic Four Battle of the Flying

Saucers from Outer Space. My

greatest picture yet. Just imagine

yourselves fighting it out with alien

monsters in flying saucers. Uh,

heck, we've already done that lots of

times. Well, how about it, Mr.

Richards?Sorry, Sir, we're not

interested. Speak for yourself, big

brain. The movies pay big money, and

I need a new moped. Money?

Why, I almost forgot to mention. Half

your salary, all of it if you want, can

go to charity. Charity, huh

Well, maybe we should talk it over. But

of course. What do you think, g*ng?

Should we do it?Hey, let's do it! I want

to be a big-time movie star like Paul

Newman and Robert Redford and... King

Kong. Yeah, and King Kong.

No, I mean, oh, you

know what I mean, guys. Well, what's the

verdict?It's a deal, Mr. Colosso. Uh,

that's wonderful, my friends. The

script is all ready and we'll start on

the sets at once. You'll love working in

Hollywood, my friends. I promise you the

thrill of a lifetime. Goodbye, Mr.

Colosso. Goodbye, my friends. I'll see

you one week from today at Mammoth

Studios in Hollywood.

Hollywood. Yes, the Fantastic

Four may go Hollywood, but they'll never

come back alive.

Hooray for Hollywood. Hooray for

Hollywood. Well, here's Mammoth Studios.

Mr. Closso said to park here by the gate.

So do you see what I see?

I sure do, Jake. But that still doesn't

mean I've got to believe it. Well, how do

you like them, people?What's that?Your

disguise?I think your new sunglasses look

just lovely on you, Ben. Here, hold still

while I tape them to you. Most people

have ears to hold him on, you knowYeah,

everything's so plush. I almost expect

him to roll out the red carpet for us. I

don't know about a red carpet, Sue, but

will a blue one do?

You know, Reed, I always knew them

stretching powers of yours were good for

something, and now I know what.

However, the activities of the Fantastic

Four do not go unnoticed by a hidden

figure, the Phantom of Film City.

Let them have their little fun. It won't

last long. Uh,

here are my new stars. It's

wonderful to see you again, Mr. Colosso.

I hope we're on time. Right on time. I

want to introduce you all to the art

director of my movie. Fine.

Where is he?HuhI thought he was right

behind me. Belmont.

Belmont. He's a new fellow.

Great art director, but never around when

you want him. Belmont?

Belmont! That fool, Colosso. He

wants to make a movie with the Fantastic

Four. He doesn't realize that the one man

who can destroy the Fantastic Four is the

very man he has hired as his art

director. Hello, JJ.

Were you calling me?Belmont, baby.

Just the man I was looking for. I'd

like you to meet the famous Fantastic

Four. It's a pleasure, Mr. Belmont. Yeah,

charmed, I'm sure. Like I was telling

you, Mr. Belmont's the greatest art

director I ever had. Why, I just

hired him last week, and he's already got

us all the sets and props we need. But

I must get back to my office. I'm sure

the Fantastic Four will understand. Of

course. This way, if you

please. Our space

movie set is right past this water tank,

left over from my last great picture, the

octopus that swallowed Cleveland. The

mechanical octopus we used is still down

there. Where is it?I'd love to see it.

If you lean over that railing, you can

just see him on the bottom. So you want

to see the monster of the deep, do you,

Sue Richards?Well, I'll see if I can give

you a much closer look.

Don't worry about me, Reed. I can swim.

And besides, that's just a mechanical

octopus. Reed, my computers show that

this isn't a machine at all, but a real

giant octopus. What?Sue,

turn invisible quickly. That'll confuse

the octopus for a moment. All right,

Reed. I can't see you, but when it comes

near you, grab it. Yes, but hurry.

Got you. But so has the octopus.

Hang on, Susie.

Let go of Sue now that they sent in the

first team, huhWell, I never cared

much for giant octopuses before, but

I'm just nuts about you. Are you all

right, Sue?Yes, thanks to you and Ben.

I'm just a little waterlogged. I

I just don't understand how a real

octopus got in that tank, Mr. Richards,

or what made the railing collapse.

It must have been some kind of mistake.

Yes, and it was I who made it, it

seems. I underestimated the powers of the

Fantastic Four, but I won't do it

again.

Well, here we are, the set of the

Fantastic Four who battled the flying

saucer from outer space. There's

the flying saucer, and that's the giant

robot you'll pretend to fight if it's

really just a robot. Check it out, will

you, Herbie?Will do.

Everything's a-okay, Reed. It's a robot,

all right. Must be from Uncle Roby's side

of the family. Oh, I don't know. All you

robots look alike to... Hey,

everybody, look!A bunch of green

spacemen. Skrulls, like the ones we

fought before. Don't be silly, my good

man. Those are only actors, made-up to

look like your old enemies from space for

the film. Our art director, Mr.

Belmont, took care of this entire set

personally. Too late, Mr. Colosso. Ben's

already attacking him. When he gets

carried away like this, there's only one

way to stop him. Hey,

why don't you look before you leap once

in a while, Benjamin?Just to keep in

practice. You can let go now, Reed. I was

just going to test them anyhow. They

certainly do look realistic, don't they?

Now we must begin. Here's what we'll

film for the first scene, just to see how

you take direction. The cameras will be

running, so do your best. I'll just

use Ben and Herbie the robot for this

first shot. Ben, your job will be to

stop the giant robot before it destroys a

city. Uh, that'll be a snap.

Don't be too sure. That robot is

fully operational. So what?So am

I. All right. Lights,

camera, roll 'em.

Hey, you're a big one, ain't you?Ben,

there's something wrong here. Suddenly, I

can feel waves of hostility coming from

the robot. Hey, what gives?I thought you

and me were supposed to fight. Reed,

something's gone wrong. That robot's got

Herbie. You mean

it had him?It threw him so high up he's

gone clean out of sight already. Don't

you see, Ben?It's some sort of trap. You

mean the robot wanted to get rid of

Herbie so he couldn't compute our way out

of it?Yes. And now look out,

everybody. Here it comes at the rest of

us. Get them. The first scene in this

movie will also be the last. The

Fantastic Four are finished.

After hurling Tiny Herbie high into the

sky above the Hollywood movie set, the

giant robot lumbers menacingly toward the

rest of the Fantastic Four as the

mysterious Phantom of Film City

watches. A few moments longer and the

Fantastic Four will be no more.

Get the girl first. She's the weak link.

How that overgrown erector said find her.

Well, evidently it has some special

sense. It took a second to adjust to

Susan visibility, and then it could spot

her as clearly as radar spots a plane.

But Ben, I can't stand here talking. I've

got to help her. Hey,

wait for me. Green, watch out. It's

faster than I thought. Caught me too.

Put my buddies down, buckethead! I

don't understand. What's going on around

here?None of this is in the script.

That robot is making a shambles of my

whole movie. Hey, I think I see

Herbie coming back down. Don't sweat it,

kiddo. I'll get you, even if I have to

make a shoestring catch. Man, if

Herbie hits you coming down at that

speed... He knows, Sue, but he's still

got to try. Oh,

I forgot to tell you. I installed some

new retro rockets this morning. I wasn't

really in any danger of crashing, but

thanks for trying to save me. I'll do the

same for you sometime. Yeah?Like

when?Like maybe at any second, Ben.

Look, here he comes! Couldn't he just

send me a postcard?Quick, Ben.

See if you can keep him busy for a

minute. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, but why

don't I ever get any of the easy jobs, eh

Herbie, are you all right?Yes, but Ben

won't be unless I find. Yes,

I think those two metal poles are strong

enough to do the trick. Reed, stretch

yourself between them. Hurry, Ben, bring

the robot over here if you can. Sure,

it's easy. I just run and he follows me.

It's if I ever stop running that I'm in

trouble. Good. Now, Sue, use your power

to make Reed invisible. All right, but

the robot captured me before, even when

he couldn't see me. That's because he

took time to analyze your powers. Now

he's too busy chasing Ben. This way, Ben.

Between these poles. Yeah, sure, anything

you say. But I sure don't see why the

running between a couple of goal posts is

going. Herbie's plan worked. The giant

robot didn't have time to analyze things

and use its radar sense to tell that I

was in its way. You know, we should have

let it fight you, Stretch. You could have

talked it to death. Well, what are you

for waiting for?Don't you realize we're

behind schedule?HuhBut that big

robot of yours?A couple of crossed wires,

that's all. And now, please, can we get

on with it?We're behind schedule, I tell

you. All right, you're ready.

You're fussier than my Aunt Petunia. What

do we do this time, Mr. Colosso?This is

an important scene. The flying saucer has

landed on Earth. You 4 go to investigate

it. You enter it and it takes off

into outer space with you inside. It

won't really take off, of course. It's

just made of paper mache. That's

it. Just walk right through the door and.

Cut! Perfect! Now,

come on out and we'll...

There are just some days when nothing

goes right. Attention, engine

room. We are now hovering directly over

Mammoth Studios. Stand by to take

evasive action if observed by Air Force

planes or police helicopters in area.

Hey, these movie guys really know how to

ham it up, don't they, Stretch?They're

almost too convincing, Ben. I've got a

strange feeling about this. Yes. Didn't

Mr. Colossal say this flying saucer

couldn't fly?Oh, you two are just

jumpy. Here, I'll ask one of these actors

dressed like Skrulls what's going on.

Uh, pardon me, pal. What is it, Earthling?

Hey, save the cornball stuff, huhJust

tell me what...

You know, it'd be nice to be right,

just every once in a while. They're real

Skrulls, Ben. Not actors at all. Yeah,

I kind of figured that out. Hey, who's

that Turkey?I can be called by many

names, Man of Earth, the Phantom of

Film City, or Mr. Belmont, Art

Director. But what I truly am,

you already know. I am a

Skrull, to be precise, the

commander of this flying saucer from the

Andromeda Galaxy. I was sent to

Earth to find a way to defeat first the

Fantastic Four, then the

entire planet. When I learned of the

movie to be made, I became its art

director to lure you into my trap.

When the Earthlings see a film of their

greatest superheroes defeated by the

Skrulls, they will surrender to us.

Capture them. We've got to get free.

For the sake of the earth. And for the

sake of Mrs. Grimm's little boy, Benji,

also. Don't forget that, Stretcho. Let's

go get him! Hey, where's Herbie?

Never mind him, Ben. Just keep fighting.

Quickly, I think I saw him go down this

way.

OK, Skrulls, why don't you try turning

invisible for a while and see how you

like it?How can we battle or

even walk if we can't see our hands or

feet?That's the general idea.

Surrender, lumpy one, and we may

spare you. Hey, you guys are all hard,

you know that?But a fellow's got to put

his foot down somewhere.

Sorry about that, gentlemen. You mock us,

Reed Richards. But time is on our side.

There are far more of us than there are

of you. You cannot evade us

forever. That's why I'm forming an

invisible force field around us, so we

can map our battle strategy. Nice work,

Sue. Now we're all safe for the moment.

Yeah, all better be.

Let's see now. I think this ought to do

it. At least it ought to do something.

Commander, we're falling to earth.

Save us, earthlings, or you perish with

us. I can repair your ship in time if you

swear to leave the earth and never

return. Well, we don't have

much time. Yes, yes, we agree. Now

help us. Ben, do you think you can punch

a hole in the side of this saucer?Hey,

it's just made out of metal, ain't it?

Nothing to it. Good. Now stand aside.

You know, Herbie, you're lucky you

weren't around when the saucer lost

power. It got kind of scary there for a

while. I'm sorry I wasn't there to hold

your hand. Uh, just forget I said

anything, okay?I bet all

we've got to do is repair enough of the

damage we did for the Skrulls to get back

to their home Galaxy. No problem. But how

do we know they'll keep their work?They

will. It's probably the only good

character trait the Skrulls have.

You were right, Rita. There they go. Hey,

don't forget to turn left at the Big

Dipper, yo-yos. Well, there

goes my big chance to be a movie star.

One of my finest hours and nobody was

around with a camera. Ah, but there

were cameras aboard the flying saucer, my

friend. I put them there not knowing

the saucer was real. Yahoo.

You mean you got the whole thing on film?

Stardom, here I come.

Some months later, Hollywood holds one of

its biggest, most lavish premieres. The

movie The Fantastic Four Battle of Flying

Saucers from Outer Space. A true story.

And in the theater lobby, the film stars

anxiously wait for the movie's first

showing to end. Stop pacing,

Ben. It won't do any good. Oh, yeah, but

I already made a down payment on a pad

with a swimming pool. Now, what if they

don't like the movie?Well, you can always

go soak your head. Thanks a lot. Wait.

I think the picture's over. Here they

come. Oh, dog. They're

smiling. I'm a star.

Well, let's face it, friends and

neighbors. Either you got it or you

don't. Uh, this way for

autographs from the star. Oh,

Herbie, it was just wonderful the way you

figured out all those gadgets on the

Skrull ship and saved the whole

Earth. Oh, it was nothing. Any good

computer could have done the same thing.

May I have your autograph, Herbie?Here,

Herbie, could you make it out to Vinny?

well, I guess the little guy really did

save the day at that. Still, you'd think

one lousy person would want my John

Hancock. I'd like your autograph, Mr.

Grimm. Right on this piece of paper, if

you'll please. Uh, sure, pal. Hey,

what's this?This is a blank check made

out to Mammoth Studios. That's right. I'm

from Mammoth Studios, and our lawyers

have decided that you are legally

responsible for studio property you

damaged during your fight with a giant

Skrull robot. Eh, what a revolting

development this is. You know, Ben,

there's a lesson to be learned from all

this. Yeah. Next time I see a

giant vacuum cleaner robbing a bank, I'm

going home and go back to bed. Oh,

Ben.

Fox Kids. Fox Kids. Fox Kids.

Fox Kids. Fox Kids.