01x02 - God's Chef

[bunniefuu]

[Pop music playing]
¶ reason is the enemy
of faith, my friend ¶

¶ Reason is the enemy
of faith, my friend ¶
[grunting]

Of faith, my friend ¶
[grunting]
¶ a head that's filled

[Grunting]
¶ a head that's filled
with knowledge

¶ A head that's filled
with knowledge
soon is too bloated

With knowledge
soon is too bloated
with its own weight ¶

Soon is too bloated
with its own weight ¶
behave, shapey.

With its own weight ¶
behave, shapey.
We're going to church.

Behave, shapey.
We're going to church.
Shut up!

We're going to church.
Shut up!
Orel, leave your little

Shut up!
Orel, leave your little
brother alone.

Orel, leave your little
brother alone.
Sorry, mom.

Brother alone.
Sorry, mom.
"Follow the yellow brick

Sorry, mom.
"Follow the yellow brick
road" means follow the devil

"Follow the yellow brick
road" means follow the devil
in gold!

Road" means follow the devil
in gold!
Boo!

In gold!
Boo!
Bad.

Boo!
Bad.
Sinners.

Bad.
Sinners.
Evil.

Sinners.
Evil.
Going to hell.

Evil.
Going to hell.
You're going to hell.

Going to hell.
You're going to hell.
¶ Think with your heart

You're going to hell.
¶ Think with your heart
'cause you know that

¶ Think with your heart
'cause you know that
the almighty sees us

'Cause you know that
the almighty sees us
think only with your heart

The almighty sees us
think only with your heart
whoever heard of the

Think only with your heart
whoever heard of the
bleeding brain of jesus? ¶

Whoever heard of the
bleeding brain of jesus? ¶
Ok.

Bleeding brain of jesus? ¶
Ok.
That was the crucifolks with

Ok.
That was the crucifolks with
"think with your heart."

That was the crucifolks with
"think with your heart."
And back at number one, the

"Think with your heart."
And back at number one, the
newest from multiple godgasm.

And back at number one, the
newest from multiple godgasm.
[Heavy metal song begins]

Newest from multiple godgasm.
[Heavy metal song begins]
¶ bow down

[Heavy metal song begins]
¶ bow down
bow down ¶

¶ Bow down
bow down ¶
those darn teenagers

Bow down ¶
those darn teenagers
and their devil rock.

Those darn teenagers
and their devil rock.
Oh, clay.

And their devil rock.
Oh, clay.
¶ ...down

Oh, clay.
¶ ...down
do jesus' bidding ¶

¶ ...down
do jesus' bidding ¶
ah, nice.

Do jesus' bidding ¶
ah, nice.
[Screaming]

Ah, nice.
[Screaming]
¶ burn in heaven

[Screaming]
¶ burn in heaven
in heaven

¶ Burn in heaven
in heaven
burn in heaven

In heaven
burn in heaven
burn... ¶

Burn in heaven
burn... ¶
Yay!

Burn... ¶
Yay!
Church!

Yay!
Church!
Slow down, orel.

Church!
Slow down, orel.
Plenty of god for everyone,

Slow down, orel.
Plenty of god for everyone,
son.

Plenty of god for everyone,
son.
Dear friends, I look around

Son.
Dear friends, I look around
at the congregation today, and

Dear friends, I look around
at the congregation today, and
my heart is filled with joy.

At the congregation today, and
my heart is filled with joy.
Why?

My heart is filled with joy.
Why?
Because I see everyone here

Why?
Because I see everyone here
using the lord's greatest gift--

Because I see everyone here
using the lord's greatest gift--
life.

Using the lord's greatest gift--
life.
You know, the biggest sin is to

Life.
You know, the biggest sin is to
throw the gift of life back into

You know, the biggest sin is to
throw the gift of life back into
god's stupid face.

Throw the gift of life back into
god's stupid face.
For remember the spooky story

God's stupid face.
For remember the spooky story
of lazarus.

For remember the spooky story
of lazarus.
He did not reject jesus' gift of

Of lazarus.
He did not reject jesus' gift of
life back from the dead and say,

He did not reject jesus' gift of
life back from the dead and say,
"oh, lord, you are a weirdo.

Life back from the dead and say,
"oh, lord, you are a weirdo.
Your gift is boring.

"Oh, lord, you are a weirdo.
Your gift is boring.
Why don't you just take a hike,

Your gift is boring.
Why don't you just take a hike,
you big, dumb, holy messiah."

Why don't you just take a hike,
you big, dumb, holy messiah."
Didn't he just do this sermon

You big, dumb, holy messiah."
Didn't he just do this sermon


Didn't he just do this sermon
tell me about it.


Tell me about it.
I could do this one in my sleep.

Tell me about it.
I could do this one in my sleep.
No, my friends, lazarus

I could do this one in my sleep.
No, my friends, lazarus
believed that life is precious.

No, my friends, lazarus
believed that life is precious.
As precious as money or those

Believed that life is precious.
As precious as money or those
little kissing zebra knickknacks

As precious as money or those
little kissing zebra knickknacks
that we love to display on top

Little kissing zebra knickknacks
that we love to display on top
of our cabinets.

That we love to display on top
of our cabinets.
We must do everything in our

Of our cabinets.
We must do everything in our
power to preserve the gift of

We must do everything in our
power to preserve the gift of
life to show god that we

Power to preserve the gift of
life to show god that we
appreciate it and not to hock it

Life to show god that we
appreciate it and not to hock it
in his stunned face like a

Appreciate it and not to hock it
in his stunned face like a
phlegmy gob of spit and laugh at

In his stunned face like a
phlegmy gob of spit and laugh at
his magnificent, big, dumb

Phlegmy gob of spit and laugh at
his magnificent, big, dumb
expression.

His magnificent, big, dumb
expression.
Amen.

Expression.
Amen.
Amen.

Amen.
Amen.
Amen.

Amen.
Amen.
I saw you talking during the

Amen.
I saw you talking during the
sermon, clay.

I saw you talking during the
sermon, clay.
Bored?

Sermon, clay.
Bored?
Oh, just practicing my

Bored?
Oh, just practicing my
lip-syncing, reverend.

Oh, just practicing my
lip-syncing, reverend.
Love those greatest hits.

Lip-syncing, reverend.
Love those greatest hits.
Reverend putty?

Love those greatest hits.
Reverend putty?
Yes, orel?

Reverend putty?
Yes, orel?
I think you're right about

Yes, orel?
I think you're right about
people not spitting into god's

I think you're right about
people not spitting into god's
face.

People not spitting into god's
face.
That's why I get paid, son.

Hey, orel, want to come over
to my house and play?
Gee, can i, mom?

To my house and play?
Gee, can i, mom?
All right.

Gee, can i, mom?
All right.
But don't take any rides from

All right.
But don't take any rides from
strangers, son.

But don't take any rides from
strangers, son.
Why?

Strangers, son.
Why?
Because you're in your good

Why?
Because you're in your good
sunday suit.

Because you're in your good
sunday suit.
Oh, right.

Sunday suit.
Oh, right.
Bye-bye.

Oh, right.
Bye-bye.
Boy, doughy, reverend putty's

Bye-bye.
Boy, doughy, reverend putty's
sermon today sure made me think.

Boy, doughy, reverend putty's
sermon today sure made me think.
Orel, you know you're not

Sermon today sure made me think.
Orel, you know you're not
supposed to think when it comes

Orel, you know you're not
supposed to think when it comes
to god and faith.

Supposed to think when it comes
to god and faith.
I know, but--

To god and faith.
I know, but--
hey, let's cut through

I know, but--
hey, let's cut through
the cemetery.

Hey, let's cut through
the cemetery.
Ok.

The cemetery.
Ok.
It's always so pretty.

Ok.
It's always so pretty.
Do you think it's because dead

It's always so pretty.
Do you think it's because dead
people make good fertilizer?

Do you think it's because dead
people make good fertilizer?
Maybe, but they sure make bad

People make good fertilizer?
Maybe, but they sure make bad
christians.

Maybe, but they sure make bad
christians.
What do you mean?

Christians.
What do you mean?
Everyone buried in the

What do you mean?
Everyone buried in the
cemetery is sinning, doughy.

Everyone buried in the
cemetery is sinning, doughy.
Like the good reverend said,

Cemetery is sinning, doughy.
Like the good reverend said,
lazarus did not reject jesus'

Like the good reverend said,
lazarus did not reject jesus'
greatest gift of life, but all

Lazarus did not reject jesus'
greatest gift of life, but all
these people did.

Greatest gift of life, but all
these people did.
They're spitting in god's face.

These people did.
They're spitting in god's face.
My grandpa wouldn't spit in

They're spitting in god's face.
My grandpa wouldn't spit in
god's face.

My grandpa wouldn't spit in
god's face.
I don't see your grandpa

God's face.
I don't see your grandpa
using life too much either.

I don't see your grandpa
using life too much either.
[Gasps]

Using life too much either.
[Gasps]
oh, no.

[Gasps]
oh, no.
Grandpa.

Oh, no.
Grandpa.
What are we gonna do, orel?

Grandpa.
What are we gonna do, orel?
Let's go to the library.

What are we gonna do, orel?
Let's go to the library.
Miss censordoll should be able

Let's go to the library.
Miss censordoll should be able
to help us.

Miss censordoll should be able
to help us.
Ok.

To help us.
Ok.
Oh, don't look so worried,

Ok.
Oh, don't look so worried,
doughy.

Oh, don't look so worried,
doughy.
I only want to do good.

Doughy.
I only want to do good.
That's true.

What are you doing,
miss censordoll?
Oh, hello, boys.

Miss censordoll?
Oh, hello, boys.
I'm just making a list of

Oh, hello, boys.
I'm just making a list of
books--special books.

I'm just making a list of
books--special books.
Are they special because they

Books--special books.
Are they special because they
teach us the most?

Are they special because they
teach us the most?
Yes.

Teach us the most?
Yes.
In fact, they teach us too much.

Yes.
In fact, they teach us too much.
Too much?

In fact, they teach us too much.
Too much?
Miss censordoll, jimmy's

Too much?
Miss censordoll, jimmy's
looking through the renaissance

Miss censordoll, jimmy's
looking through the renaissance
art books again.

Looking through the renaissance
art books again.
Filthy 15th century.

Come on, doughy.
We got some reading to do...

For god.
But, orel...

I can't believe you broke the
eighth commandment.
Well, sometimes you've gotta

Eighth commandment.
Well, sometimes you've gotta
break one commandment to keep

Well, sometimes you've gotta
break one commandment to keep
another.

Break one commandment to keep
another.
Now, look...

Another.
Now, look...
The first thing we gotta do is

Now, look...
The first thing we gotta do is
dig up some dead people.

The first thing we gotta do is
dig up some dead people.
I think I'd rather play

Dig up some dead people.
I think I'd rather play
baseball.

I think I'd rather play
baseball.
But, doughy, don't you want

Baseball.
But, doughy, don't you want
to make your grandpa alive

But, doughy, don't you want
to make your grandpa alive
again?

To make your grandpa alive
again?
[Sighs]

Again?
[Sighs]
well, he did used to buy me

[Sighs]
well, he did used to buy me
ice cream all the time.

Well, he did used to buy me
ice cream all the time.
Sounds yummy, ha ha!

Ice cream all the time.
Sounds yummy, ha ha!
Let's do it!

Sounds yummy, ha ha!
Let's do it!
Boy, orel, he smells worse

Let's do it!
Boy, orel, he smells worse
than when he was alive.

Boy, orel, he smells worse
than when he was alive.
Well, he has been wearing the

Than when he was alive.
Well, he has been wearing the
same underwear for some time

Well, he has been wearing the
same underwear for some time
now.

Same underwear for some time
now.
That's another sin.

Now.
That's another sin.
Mom says cleanliness is next to

That's another sin.
Mom says cleanliness is next to
godliness.

Mom says cleanliness is next to
godliness.
It sure is.

Godliness.
It sure is.
Let's take his clothes off.

It sure is.
Let's take his clothes off.
Then after he's alive he can go

Let's take his clothes off.
Then after he's alive he can go
put on some fresh things.

Then after he's alive he can go
put on some fresh things.
Good idea.

Put on some fresh things.
Good idea.
But you do it.

Good idea.
But you do it.
I don't think I should see

But you do it.
I don't think I should see
grandpa's doodly-doo.

I don't think I should see
grandpa's doodly-doo.
Okey-dokey.

Grandpa's doodly-doo.
Okey-dokey.
¶ Doot doo doo doo doo

Okey-dokey.
¶ Doot doo doo doo doo
doot doo doo doo doo doo ¶

¶ Doot doo doo doo doo
doot doo doo doo doo doo ¶
don't peek.

Doot doo doo doo doo doo ¶
don't peek.
Yikes.

Don't peek.
Yikes.
Phew!

Yikes.
Phew!
He ought to air out in a bit.

Phew!
He ought to air out in a bit.
Ok.

He ought to air out in a bit.
Ok.
Here goes nothing.

Ok.
Here goes nothing.
I conjure thee by the fire of

Here goes nothing.
I conjure thee by the fire of
girra and by the lights of

I conjure thee by the fire of
girra and by the lights of
shamash.

Girra and by the lights of
shamash.
In the name of the covenant,

Shamash.
In the name of the covenant,
come and rise up before me!

In the name of the covenant,
come and rise up before me!
Ia mass ssaratu!

Come and rise up before me!
Ia mass ssaratu!
Bargolomoneth kia!

Ia mass ssaratu!
Bargolomoneth kia!
That doesn't sound very

Bargolomoneth kia!
That doesn't sound very
protestant, orel.

That doesn't sound very
protestant, orel.
Well...

Protestant, orel.
Well...
At least it's not catholic.

Well...
At least it's not catholic.
C-c-c-catholic?

Orel.
[Growls]
hot dog!

[Growls]
hot dog!
[Siren]

Hot dog!
[Siren]
hey, you kids, what are you

[Siren]
hey, you kids, what are you
doing here after hours?

Hey, you kids, what are you
doing here after hours?
[Groans]

Doing here after hours?
[Groans]
what the--

[Groans]
what the--
thank you, o lord,

What the--
thank you, o lord,
for this bounty.

Thank you, o lord,
for this bounty.
You can't be running around

For this bounty.
You can't be running around
like that--

You can't be running around
like that--
grandpa, no!

My grampy just ate his brain.
It worked!
He's alive again!

It worked!
He's alive again!
God be praised!

He's alive again!
God be praised!
Yeah, but now officer

God be praised!
Yeah, but now officer
o'chunk is dead.

Yeah, but now officer
o'chunk is dead.
Not for long.

O'chunk is dead.
Not for long.
His uniform's all bloody.

Not for long.
His uniform's all bloody.
Strip him.

[Screaming]
[growling]

Good is great, god is good,
let me thank him for our food!
[Screaming]

Let me thank him for our food!
[Screaming]
rub-a-dub dub, thanks for the

[Screaming]
rub-a-dub dub, thanks for the
grub.

Rub-a-dub dub, thanks for the
grub.
Aagh!

Grub.
Aagh!
Help, mom.

Aagh!
Help, mom.
Pervert!

Are you going to burn the
bible?
Only the jewish parts.

[Screaming]

Get them!
[Clamoring]

[Tinkling]

Almost done there?
Yep.
Just wrapping it up.

Yep.
Just wrapping it up.
Hmm.

Just wrapping it up.
Hmm.
I'd give it one more shake.

Hmm.
I'd give it one more shake.
All right.

I'd give it one more shake.
All right.
Thanks, buddy.

All right.
Thanks, buddy.
By the way, my name's--

Thanks, buddy.
By the way, my name's--
later, pally.

By the way, my name's--
later, pally.
You get her skirt, doughy.

Later, pally.
You get her skirt, doughy.
I'll get her top.

You get her skirt, doughy.
I'll get her top.
Hmm.

I'll get her top.
Hmm.
[Zipper zips]

Hmm.
[Zipper zips]
wait a minute.

[Zipper zips]
wait a minute.
Miss blankface didn't get bloody

Wait a minute.
Miss blankface didn't get bloody
at all.

Miss blankface didn't get bloody
at all.
Yeah, but these clothes are

At all.
Yeah, but these clothes are
too revealing.

Yeah, but these clothes are
too revealing.
She looks like a tr*mp.

Too revealing.
She looks like a tr*mp.
Ahem!

She looks like a tr*mp.
Ahem!
Hi, dad.

Ahem!
Hi, dad.
Pretty great, huh?

Hi, dad.
Pretty great, huh?
Nope.

Pretty great, huh?
Nope.
And wash that smile off your

Nope.
And wash that smile off your
face, young man.

And wash that smile off your
face, young man.
You're in trouble.

Face, young man.
You're in trouble.
I think you should meet me in my

You're in trouble.
I think you should meet me in my
study.

I think you should meet me in my
study.
[Gulp]

Gee, dad, I was just trying
to stop those dead people from
spitting phlegm into god's face.

To stop those dead people from
spitting phlegm into god's face.
That much I understand, orel,

Spitting phlegm into god's face.
That much I understand, orel,
but there are other ways of

That much I understand, orel,
but there are other ways of
preserving god's gift of life.

But there are other ways of
preserving god's gift of life.
How?

Preserving god's gift of life.
How?
Well, for one...

How?
Well, for one...
Where in this book does it say

Well, for one...
Where in this book does it say
the dead have to be naked?

Where in this book does it say
the dead have to be naked?
Well, it doesn't really, but

The dead have to be naked?
Well, it doesn't really, but
some of their clothes were

Well, it doesn't really, but
some of their clothes were
stinky and messy with blood.

Some of their clothes were
stinky and messy with blood.
Their clothes didn't smell,

Stinky and messy with blood.
Their clothes didn't smell,
orel.

Their clothes didn't smell,
orel.
Their bodies smelled.

Orel.
Their bodies smelled.
Their disgusting exposed

Their bodies smelled.
Their disgusting exposed
bodies.

Their disgusting exposed
bodies.
Oh.

Bodies.
Oh.
I guess I was too caught up in

Oh.
I guess I was too caught up in
bringing them back to life to

I guess I was too caught up in
bringing them back to life to
notice.

Bringing them back to life to
notice.
That's no excuse.

Notice.
That's no excuse.
Nudity is a horrible thing and

That's no excuse.
Nudity is a horrible thing and
should only be committed as a

Nudity is a horrible thing and
should only be committed as a
last resort.

Should only be committed as a
last resort.
You know the 11th commandment:

Last resort.
You know the 11th commandment:
"thou shalt be ashamed of thy

You know the 11th commandment:
"thou shalt be ashamed of thy
natural anatomy."

"Thou shalt be ashamed of thy
natural anatomy."
Oh, yeah.

Natural anatomy."
Oh, yeah.
Those lost commandments always

Oh, yeah.
Those lost commandments always
throw me off.

Those lost commandments always
throw me off.
Didn't you notice all the

Throw me off.
Didn't you notice all the
people running away in terror?

Didn't you notice all the
people running away in terror?
Yeah, but I thought they were

People running away in terror?
Yeah, but I thought they were
just scared of their brains

Yeah, but I thought they were
just scared of their brains
getting eaten.

Just scared of their brains
getting eaten.
Life isn't that simple.

Getting eaten.
Life isn't that simple.
I'll show you.

Life isn't that simple.
I'll show you.
Help!

I'll show you.
Help!
My uncle dan is streaking...

Help!
My uncle dan is streaking...
God rest his soul!

My uncle dan is streaking...
God rest his soul!
Don't look, son.

God rest his soul!
Don't look, son.
They're not decent.

Don't look, son.
They're not decent.
Burn their privates off.

They're not decent.
Burn their privates off.
Gosh, you sure are right,

Burn their privates off.
Gosh, you sure are right,
dad.

Gosh, you sure are right,
dad.
Well, I suppose that's why

Dad.
Well, I suppose that's why
they call me dad and not mom.

Well, I suppose that's why
they call me dad and not mom.
[Laughing]

They call me dad and not mom.
[Laughing]
ok.

[Laughing]
ok.
Fun's over.

Ok.
Fun's over.
You know what you have to do.

Fun's over.
You know what you have to do.
k*ll the zombies?

You know what you have to do.
k*ll the zombies?
Haven't you learned anything?

[Growls]

[Laughter]
wee!
Hey!

Wee!
Hey!
[Laughter]

Hey!
[Laughter]
gee, dad, I'm sorry I goofed

[Laughter]
gee, dad, I'm sorry I goofed
up.

Gee, dad, I'm sorry I goofed
up.
I was trying to be good so you

Up.
I was trying to be good so you
could love me more than you do

I was trying to be good so you
could love me more than you do
now.

Could love me more than you do
now.
Oh, orel, I could never love

Now.
Oh, orel, I could never love
you more.

Oh, orel, I could never love
you more.
People only have a certain

You more.
People only have a certain
amount of love in them, and I'm

People only have a certain
amount of love in them, and I'm
afraid I have to divide mine up

Amount of love in them, and I'm
afraid I have to divide mine up
between at least a dozen people.

Afraid I have to divide mine up
between at least a dozen people.
Oh.

Between at least a dozen people.
Oh.
But remember, son, I love you

Oh.
But remember, son, I love you
enough.

But remember, son, I love you
enough.
I love you enough, too, dad.

Enough.
I love you enough, too, dad.
[Growls]

I love you enough, too, dad.
[Growls]
[whimpers]

[Growls]
[whimpers]
[shutter clicking]

[Whimpers]
[shutter clicking]
[captioning made possible by

[Shutter clicking]
hello.
Good-bye.