01x04 - A Sweet Joke On Gotham City

[bunniefuu]

[SIRENS WAILING]

[♪♪♪]

Greetings, Batfans.

This is Batman.

And Robin, the Boy Wonder.

And me too, Bat-Mite.

Welcoming you to The
New Adventures of Batman.

Watch us wage our never-ending
battle of good versus evil.

ROBIN: Ride with us as we chase
the greatest array of villains

the world has ever seen.

Proving that
crime does not pay.

BATMAN: Get set for
thrills and action.

Join me, Batman.

And me, Robin, the Boy Wonder.

And Batgirl.

And me too, Bat-Mite.

ROBIN: In the super New
Adventures of Batman.

[♪♪♪]

[SIREN WAILING]

I called you all
together to see this.

BARBARA: What is
it, commissioner?

This is a special valentine

from the Sweetooth.

SWEETOOTH: Happy Valentine's
Day Gotham City. Ha-ha!

I couldn't let this day go by

without a token of
my appreciation.

Ha-ha-ha! As you read this,

a sweet treat is
coming your way.

Oh, no need to thank me.

I'm just a sweet
guy. Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Sweetooth can only mean
sour things for Gotham City.

[♪♪♪]

Today we're really going
to show Gotham City.

[LAUGHS]

Hey, what's the job
this time, Sweetooth?

Observe and you shall see.

Hm. This is chocolate syrup.

I control the
entire water system

with this electronic
computerized lock.

ALL: Ahh!

I've just turned the entire
Gotham City water supply

into chocolate
syrup. Ha-ha-ha!

[ALL CHEERING]

If they want it, they'll
have to pay me dearly.

[LAUGHING]

[♪♪♪]

Sweetooth has kept us
waiting for six hours now.

That must be some prank.

d*ck: Holy tooth decay, Bruce.

This is chocolate syrup.

So this is Sweetooth's treat.

The damage is already
being done, Bruce. Look.

Looks bad for Gotham City.

Our children could be ruining
their teeth and their health.

We better get on
this case, Robin.

d*ck: Ready, Batman.

Pass me the Bat-oil, Robin.

Check, Batman.

Hi, Batman.

Bat-Mite. What are
you doing there?

I'm ready to go with you
and Robin. When do we leave?

This is serious
business, Bat-Mite.

You always say that.

See, Batman? I can
be just like you.

Uh-oh.

[COUGHING]

You did it again, Bat-Mite.

Sorry, Batman, I
didn't mean it.

I was only trying to help.

You've helped enough for
one day, little fella.

They never appreciate me.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

By the look of things,

I can see we don't
have too much time.

What the blazes?!

[TIRES SCREECH]

That blasted Bat-Mite.

Batman, look.

Holy heavy rocks, Batman,

that thing would
have hit us for sure.

BATMAN: I know, Robin.

And we only have the
Bat-Mite to thank.

The little fella appeared
to give us a warning.

But that's not the way to do it.

What would they do without me?

ROBIN: It's a giant soft
caramel candy, Batman.

Obviously from Sweetooth.

There's a note.

"I'm up here, suckers."

SWEETOOTH: That's right.

Up here, suckers.

[LAUGHING]

Let's see what our sweet
friend wants, Robin.

[♪♪♪]

I'm glad you came.
I love suckers.

[LAUGHING]

All right, what are
you up to, Sweetooth?

If you want your water back,

tell your commissioner it'll
cost five million dollars.

That's a heck of a
lot of jellybeans.

Exactly.

We know you've sealed your
chocolate water system

with an electronic
combination lock.

If you know what's
good for you,

you'll give up the lock
and turn yourself in.

I personally guarantee
a light sentence.

Ha-ha-ha! Don't
sweet-talk me, Batman.

Prison will do you good.
You can learn a trade.

Something you can get
your sweet tooth into.

That's not funny, Boy Blunder.

Just for that,

my ransom is now up to


You're impossible to
deal with, Sweetooth,

I wouldn't come any
closer if I were you.

The ledge you two
are standing on

is nothing more than
a graham cr*cker.

[LAUGHS]

He's not kidding, Batman.

We're gonna fall!

Save me some crumbs, fellas.

[LAUGHING]

Keep cool, Robin.

Remember our
gymnastic routine.

Right. Activate the Batapult.

[♪♪♪]

Still have the old touch.

What do you think
you're doing, Bat-Mite?

You see? I told you I
could do dangerous jobs.

Great ba*ls of
gravity, Batman.

The little fella's in trouble.

Easy, Boy Wonder.

Scared ya, didn't I?

BATMAN: I didn't find that
very amusing, Bat-Mite.

You only succeeded in
letting Sweetooth escape.

I'm sorry, guys.

I was only trying to help.

I did save you guys from
that candy caramel before.

Yes, we appreciate that.

Now what about Sweetooth?

I think we should check
with the D.A.'s office

and see what Barbara
has on Sweetooth.

I programmed the Z-7000

to find Sweetooth's
biggest weakness.

Z-7000: As you asked,
Sweetooth's biggest weakness.

"Three ounces of
flour, a cup of sugar,

"6 ounces of chocolate,

a pound of marshmallows,
some fudge, jelly..."

Sounds like a recipe.

Z-7000: It is.

A cookie?

Not just a cookie.

A chocolate fudge
marshmallow jelly cookie.

That's it. We trap Sweetooth

with chocolate fudge
marshmallow jelly cookies.

Uh, don't you think you can
use some help from Batgirl?

Good idea.

Now listen carefully,
I've got a plan.

I sure hope this works.

[WHISPERING] Don't
worry, Batgirl.

We've got the right bait.

All we have to do
is reel in the fish.

[♪♪♪]

[LAUGHING]

This is it, g*ng.

The ransom money
is in that box.

[LAUGHING]

Not only the ransom money,

but chocolate fudge
marshmallow jelly cookies.

Oh, how did they know?

Holy hoax, Batman.
He fell for it.

[♪♪♪]

Sweetooth, as assistant
district attorney,

I demand that you surrender

the computer lock to
your water system.

Ha-ha-ha-ha. No chance.

Well, then you
can plan to spend

quite a long time
in this cell.

It all depends on what
you mean by a long time.

[LAUGHING]

[♪♪♪]

GORDON: Why, it's
a giant gumball.

[LAUGHING]

So long, suckers.

GORDON: Guards, guards!

[LAUGHING]

Sweetooth's loyal kids

always seem to lower
themselves to the occasion.

Now that criminal is
on the street again.

I'll phone Batman and Robin.

[♪♪♪]

The crime computer has
set up hidden cameras

in the underground
water system.

Something's up, Batman.

There's the computerized
lock we have to get.

I guess it's true that crooks

always return to the
scene of the crime.

[SWEETOOTH LAUGHING]

We can't let Gotham
City run dry, can we?

This supply of chocolate
syrup will last another month.

[LAUGHING]

Hey, look, Sweetooth,
I lost another one.

A few more and I'm gonna
look just like you.

Oh, handsome
devil. Ha-ha-ha-ha!

It's our job to stop
this ridiculous prank.

Aren't you guys
forgetting someone?

What now, Bat-Mite?

Tell me, guys, am I the
classic private eye?

Looks more like the
classic bloodshot eye.

Oh, come on, let me go along.

Please. I'll be
good, I promise.

Sorry, Bat-Mite,
but it's no-go.

[♪♪♪]

Have it your way,

but you're gonna hear from me.

Think we can
catch 'em, Batman?

If Sweetooth is there,
we can catch him.

The Batboat can outrun
anything on water.

[WHISPERS] Cut the engines,
so we can surprise them.

[NORMAL VOICE] It will
take a perfect throw

to pick that computer lock
out of Sweetooth's hand.

Now we got ya, Sweetooth.

Oh, the Batarang.

It almost got my computer lock.

I smell a rat, man.

We better get out of here fast.

That's no computer lock, Batman.

No, that's just a pest.

Let's go, we can
still catch 'em.

Give up, Sweetooth.

Save your energy.

No way, Blunderboy.

If you're so tough,
catch me. Ha-ha-ha!

Time for a trick, g*ng.

Super submerging
submarine, Batman!

Did you see that?

Yes, I saw that.

Sweetooth is full of surprises.

Oh, yoo-hoo. Anchors
away, Batman.

[LAUGHS]

It's time to make
dessert out of those two.

It's some kind of
oil slick, Robin.

Holy banana splits!

It's marshmallow
topping, Batman.

No wonder. It's
sticking to the engine.

Ha-ha! You can't have
a sundae without nuts.

Let's try to fly this
thing out of here, Robin.

[ENGINE REVVING]

Oh, I almost forgot the cherry.

Oh. I'll never eat
another sundae again.

d*ck: There has to be some way

we can sneak that
computerized lock

away from Sweetooth.

I think this calls for
an inside job, d*ck.

What do you mean, Bruce?

I want you to go undercover.

Huh? Me?

Yes.

It's too risky for
you to go as Robin.

They'll know who
you are for sure.

If you go as d*ck Grayson,

you slip in as one
of Sweetooth's kids.

It's worth a try.

I think this can work, d*ck.

Here's what we do.

You look perfect for the part.

If you get in trouble,

contact me over
your wrist radio.

Right.

[♪♪♪]

Now listen, class. This is
the Nutty Chocolate Factory.

Ha-ha! By Tuesday
it will be all ours.

How can they keep
eating this stuff?

Sweetooth is planning to hit

the Nutty Chocolate
Factory on Tuesday.

d*ck [OVER INTERCOM]:
Can you hear me, Batman?

We hear you, d*ck.

What about the computer lock

for the water system?

Where does he keep it?

Working on it.

[♪♪♪]

Hello, Batman. Are you there?

BATMAN: Right here, d*ck.

I think I found where he
keeps the computerized lock.

Good work, d*ck.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

Who told you to clean
the storage room, kid?

Uh, no one.

I-- I just thought
I'd clean it.

Aah! No kid of mine
has half those teeth.

Boy, you certainly lost
some weight, didn't you?

Uh... Well, I, uh...

You know who we've
got here, boys?

BOTH: Who, boss?

This is d*ck Grayson,

Bruce Wayne's
wart. Ha-ha-ha-ha!

That's ward.

SWEETOOTH: This guy's
working undercover

for Batman and the
commissioner. Ha-ha!

d*ck: Where are you
taking me? I-I--

d*ck's in real trouble.
I've gotta save him.

I think it's about time
for the old rope trick.

Sounds good to me.

You again?

Don't worry. I won't
get in the way.

I wish I could believe you.

[♪♪♪]

d*ck. d*ck, can you hear me?

[♪♪♪]

Are you all right?

Batman. I knew you'd show.

If you don't get here soon,

I'm gonna turn into
a chocolate bar,

wrapper and all.

Don't worry, old buddy.

You go in there and keep
them occupied, Bat-Mite.

And stay invisible.

Check.

And then-- Ha-ha-ha-ha!

--we'll all be rich.

[YELPS]

Oww!

[LAUGHING SILENTLY]

Batman. Perfect timing.

Couldn't let my best friend
turn into a gooey chewy.

How'd you like to
be Robin now, d*ck?

I thought you'd never ask.

Wow. It must be
some kind of curse.

Well, look who's
here. Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Well, you're on my
home court now, Batman.

Have some doughnuts, fellas.

[LAUGHING]

ROBIN: This way, Batman.
The computer lock.

BATMAN: That's what we came for.
SWEETOOTH [ON RADIO]: Ha-ha.

Good work, Dynamic Duo.

You're right where I want you.

Leaping licorice, Batman.

I can't seem to get
free from these things.

[SWEETOOTH LAUGHS]

Have a good trip, fellas.

You'll both make tasty
taffy. Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Keep cool, Robin.

A little taffy can't hurt us.

[♪♪♪]

Now we're really stuck.

We have some work to do, guys.

This is it, Sweetooth.
You're finished.

Oh, yeah? Ha-ha! Says who?

Look out, you guys.

Time to stop this foolishness.

Hey, Sweetooth, we're
getting trapped.

Oh. Let's try to eat
our way out of it.

I can't eat any more.
I'm sick of this stuff.

Hey, me too.

Nice work, Batman.

Couldn't have done it
without you, Batgirl.

What about me?

Did you see me?

We saw you. You did fine.

So, Batman, you did it.

Well, it must be a
sweet victory for you.

What are you gonna do with us?

BATMAN: First of all,

you're all going
to the dentist.

Then you'll go to Gotham
City Detention Center

and have plenty of time to
think about what you've done.

I'll attach this computer
lock to the main valve.

That should open it.

We did it.

I'll tell the commissioner

to start pumping fresh
water in right away.

Once again teamwork paid off.

What about me? I helped too.

What would we do without
you, little fella?

[ALL LAUGHING]

[♪♪♪]

COMPUTER: Bat Message.

Boy, I'm sure glad
we're rid of him.

He really gave
us a tough time.

BATMAN: And he almost ruined
the health of those kids.

That's right.

We caught you again.

What do you have to say
for yourself this time?

[BABBLING]

Not much.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]