02x09 - Act of Piracy

[bunniefuu]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Everything looks fine, Duffy.

Well, she's ready when we are.

Well, we've been ready, Doc.

We should've found that stretch
of bottom three hours ago.

Jed?

You know we're a little close in,
aren't we?

That Santa Ventura isn't exactly the
friendliest government in the Caribbean.

Oh no, we're fine.
Jed!

As long as we're outside their 12-mile limit
and international waters...

They are exactly 10.7 miles
away from our coastline, sir.

Careless of them not to remain
in international waters.

Pity.

FERRAGA: Ah, careless,
careless, careless.

Such an advanced
oceanographic research vessel.

Such an eminent American scientist.

An astronaut who walked
on the moon...

but soon will walk no more.

How are we doing?

Sorry, Doc, there's still
nothing but coral down there.

Now apparently I can't even
follow my own charts.

Come on, Jed!

STEVE:
How are you, Miss Ellis?

Oh. I beg your pardon, Colonel?

After 12 days and 12 nights...

nine dazzling sunsets
and one full moon...

and it's still Colonel.

But I love it,
it's such a nice, pompous title.

Thank you.

Science, Colonel.

A clear head, a clinical eye...

and both arms free at all times.

I don't know.

We do seem a bit closer
inshore than we were.

Maybe that's it.

Are you sure of your
distance reading, Jed?

From land?
Still well out, Doctor.

LIEUTENANT: They are exactly


Shall we take them now, General?

No, not quite yet, Lieutenant,
but soon...

but soon.

FLIGHT COM:
It looks good at NASA One.

B- 52 ]PILOT:
Roger.

BCS Arm switch is on.

FLIGHT COM:
Okay, Victor.

B-52 PILOT:
Landing Rocket Arm switch is on.
Here comes the throttle.

Circuit breakers in.

STEVE:
We have separation.

B-52 PILOT:
Inboard and outboards are on.

I'm comin' forward with the side stick.

FLIGHT COM:
Looks good.

PILOT:
Ah, Roger.

STEVE:
I've got a blowout in damper three.

SR-71 PILOT:
Get your pitch to zero.

STEVE:
Pitch is out. I can't hold altitude!

B-52 PILOT: Correction. Alpha Hold is all“.
Threat selector is emergency.

STEVE: Flight Com. I can't hold it!
She's breaking up! She's breaking...

ANNOUNCER:
Steve Austin. Astronaut.

A man barely alive.

Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.

We have the technology.

We have the capability
to make the world's first bionic man.

Steve Austin will be that man.

Better than he was before.

Better, stronger, faster.

[MAIN TITLE THEME]

SECRETARY: I'm sorry, Oscar,
but that's the situation.

It seems clear now the
Santa Venturan government...

no longer wishes to maintain any
diplomatic ties with the United States.

I think it's urgent that you get involved
immediately, Oscar.

Frankly, this disturbs us all.

OSCAR: Yes, Mr. Secretary,
it worries me, too.

I know that the State Department
has been trying to keep up...

some kind of dialogue
with Santa Ventura.

OSCAR:
When did all this happen?

SECRETARY:


The delegation at the conference
simply walked out of the meeting.

We need your help on this, Oscar.

Yes, I'll keep you informed.

Yes, sir, thank you very much.

[PHONE RINGING]

Mr. Goldman's office.

Miss Farrell, that itinerary
that Colonel Austin left us.

When was that research vessel
that he's on scheduled...

to operate near Santa Ventura waters?

Just a moment, sir.

Huny, Miss Farrell!
It's very important!

FARRELL: Here it is.

He's there now, sir.
Off the Santa Venturan peninsula.

I knew it. I knew it!

All right, get me the
marine operator in Miami.

I want a direct bridge relay call
to that ship and right away.

All engine stop.

They have stopped, sir...

just as you've said they would.

And did they not stop
where I said they would?

LIEUTENANT: Incredible.

General,
how could you have known?

You will pinpoint and
log their exact location.

I say their exact location.

Yes, sir.

Thereafter, you will alert
all hands to stations.

Yes, sir.

It's not the bottom I found last time,
but it'll be good and flat for you.

Sharon?

All electrical operating, Doctor.

Good.

JED [PA]: Colonel Austin?
Marine radio from Miami.

They've got a telephone radio for you.

Washington.

You can take it below, if you like.

Well, that's timing.

Sorry, Doctor.

Hold all positions!

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

This is Austin.

Hello?
Hello, Steve!

Steve, is that you?

Hey, Oscar? How you doing?
Have you missed me?

OSCAR: Do I miss you?

No, I don't miss you!
Listen...

The Santa Venturan government just
broke off diplomatic relations with us.

Now I want you to turn tail and get
your propellers out of there...

as quickly as you can.

Oscar, relax, will you? We're in
international waters, we're perfectly safe.

Say, you still fudging on your
morning exercises?

You don't seem to understand,
this is a crisis situation.

I want you to get out of there!

Oh, you have missed me.

Look, Grandma,
NASA went to a lot of trouble...

to develop these earthquake sensors...

and after two weeks at it,
I've got exactly two left to plant.

Now that means one more afternoon...

we'll be out of here
and on our way home.

OSCAR:
Steve, for the love of...never mind.

I'm at an airfield
and I'm on my way down there.

You gotta be kidding.
What for?

I just told you why!

For the same reason that the entire US.
Second Fleet is on it's way down there!

Look, Steve, just be careful.
I'm on my way down there.

JED [PA]: All systems,
ready for diving, Dr. Craig.

It's okay, Miss Ellis...

all installments are go.

Lower when ready.

Green board, Doctor.

Okay, hook it up!

Hook onto the ballast here.

Ballast is lowering.

When we start to lower,
keep that cable taut.

Everybody ready?

Ready.

Okay, let's start to lower.

Still all green.

Green board, Doctor.

Good.

STEVE: Still green.

We have same reading.

Hold it! Red light!

[ALARM SOUNDING]

Andale!

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Colonel!

[METAL CREAKING]

Colonel, are you all right?

Yeah, we're still here, Miss Ellis.

Had to make a little temporary repair.

It might hold, but I think
you'd better pull me up.

Now who the blazes is that?

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

Patrol boat, I think.

Just looking us over, probably.

What's he boring in like that for?
He can see our red flag...

man in the water.

Jed, bring Steve up.

What's that lead-footed
clown think he's doing!

Hey! Somebody up there
mad at me?

Hello, Nesco.

Nesco, do you copy.
Over.

Attention!

You have knowingly violated the territorial
waters of a foreign government...

for purposes both ill*gal
and repugnant to that government.

Your vessel and all
hands are hereby seized.

You are ordered to stand by for
boarding and to be escorted to shore.

Is he kidding?

Any resistance will be considered
a further act of aggression...

and will be dealt with summarily.

Jed, I said bring Steve up.
Quickly!

Steve! We're bringing you up.
Standby!

What's the trouble?

Some lunatic in a patrol boat.

Claims we're in their waters.
He's taking the ship and us.

Doctor, something’s jammed here.
The winch won't reverse.

Let's take him up by hand.

Did you say taking, Doctor?

Dr. Craig!

Stand away from that apparatus,
please, and make a line.

Oh, now, listen!
Wait a minute!

Mayday! Mayday!

This is United States
research vessel Nesco.

We are being seized by force
by Santa Venturan authorities!

Mayday! Mayday!

Dr. Craig?

You will now please haul
in your anchors...

and we shall all head happily
for the nearest docking facility.

We can't do that yet!
We've got a man down there!

Have you indeed.

Well.

That's his air hose!
He'll suffocate!

You did have a man down there...

and now you do not
have a man down there.

For the last time,
this vessel is not a spy ship.

We are not spies,
we will not confess to being spies.

That lie is as absurd as those conveniently
pre-written confessions you're holding.

Very well, Doctor.

You refuse to give cooperation,
I shall have to take it.

One of you will be removed and held
below with the rest of your crew.

If the other two do not sign
their confessions...

then the one held below will be
ex*cuted immediately.

That's barbaric.

That's insane.

You define politics very well,
Miss Ellis.

Now which of you, I wonder...

shall be the one to die if the other
two remain obstinate?

Eh?

Yes, this one.

The most expendable
among you, I think.

Now wait a minute, will you?

You've already k*lled
that man in the diving bell.

Wasn't that enough for you?

Ah, yes, your little man
in the diving bell.

Some simple mariner?

Obscure, ethereal little scientist?
Hardly.

Colonel Steve Austin... astronaut...

still on reserve military status...

presently on orders to use the
Nesco's diving bell for planting...

secret detection devices
in our territorial waters.

That's a lie! Earthquake
sensor devices are about as...

Using his astronaut status as a cover.

Now you will sign your
confessions within 30 seconds...

or your companion below
will be dead within 40 seconds.

Why not?

No one will believe your word or even our
confessions as anything but what they are.

Phony.

[ALARM BUZZES]

MAN: Sir, Mayday message
has been confirmed.

Washington verifies that oceanic vessel
Nesco has been seized...

by Santa Venturan authorities.

Com Second Fleet orders us to standby
pending arrival of State Department liaison.

Code name Snow White.

OSCAR: Navy Tower,
this is Oscar Goldman.

My code name... Snow White.

Request immediate takeoff clearance.

Priority Red One.

TOWER: Roger, Snow White,
you are cleared for take off.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

TOWER: Sir, Priority One
voice-to-voice relay coming in.

Sender, code name Snow White.

OFFICER: Snow White, this is
Task Force Commander.

OSCAR: You will proceed to
area of Nesco seizure.

Snow White en route,
will join you at location.

Please acknowledge
receipt and execution.

OFFICER: Snow White,
your Priority One received.

Executing now.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

All right, take them below.

Okay, General, you're happy.

Now when do
get happy?

Well, half of your happiness is already
in its little Swiss bank vault.

The other half comes when the news and
camera people have properly recorded...

your abject contriteness
and remorse.

Hey, I'm your captured spy,
remember?

[SHATTERING SOUND]

[SHATTERING SOUND]

Who are you?

Now I'll ask you one more time...

[DISTANT THUD]

I'm Julio.

How'd you get aboard?

I sneaked past this pig and
the other pigs on the dock.

What, to steal?

Si, to steal medicine
for my people in the hills.

Medicine and g*ns,
that is all we need.

Underground, eh?

Well, maybe we can
help each other.


go that way now.

Your friends...

they will be taken to the hacienda
commandeered by the General Ferraga.

Which way would that be, Julio?


show you.

Thanks.

Say, I was just wondering...

the ship's radio is broken,
I need to send a message out.

A message.

That may be difficult, Senior...

but you write it down
on the paper for me.

I try.

Good man.

Frederico, you in there?

Carlos, get to the radio.

General Ferraga's
headquarters, quickly!

[PHONE RINGING]

General Ferraga's office.

Lieutenant Morales.

The General has gone to the capital.

He speaks to the President today.

What?

The American ship, you say?

[PHONE RINGING]

General Ferraga here.

What?

What kind of trouble at the boat?

Lieutenant, what do I care
now about some idiot...

you found tied up in his underwear!

Do you happen to realize where I am?

In approximately three minutes...

Ferraga will be discussing successful
international moves and counter moves...

with the President himself!

Lieutenant, I will be
returning in a very few hours.

And you and I can scour
the countryside together...

and find your Underground leaders, eh?

Would you like that, Lieutenant?

And don't bother me here again.

Hey... you all right?

I got so used to treating everyone on board
like just another one of the crew.

Little late for it now, but...

he was kind of special, Doctor.

Steve Austin, you mean.

I missed the boat while I was on it.

They k*lled him without a qualm.

They'll do the same to us
once their purpose is served.

[STEPS APPROACHING]

[DOOR OPENS]

Jed! How are you, boy?
Hello, Jed.

They told me I could have one meal
or one favor for the day.

And I told 'em just, well, I wanted
to come and thank you both...

for trying to save my bacon
back there on the ship.

Don't be silly.

JED:
No, they meant it.

They would have shot me on the spot
if you two hadn't signed those confessions.

They still mean it.

They told me if you don't say just the right
thing in front of their news media...

Neither of us is going to say or do
anything that'll get you hurt.

Don't worry about that.

But I hate to see you
cooperating with these...

Jed.

Your life's the most
important thing right now.

Thanks.

Okay, buddy, okay.

Hey, Luis, you got any more
of that banana chewing gum?

That was pretty good stuff.

Thank you, Julio.

Think you can get back
to your people on foot?

They are not very far, Senior.

If the transmitter is not
too stubborn today...

perhaps we will get
your message through.

Well, if I get my friends out,
and we have any luck at all...

there's plenty of room on that boat.

Very odd, Senior.

You must fight to escape this country.

I must fight to remain.

And remain in order to fight. So...

Julio?

Merry Christmas.

[ALARM SOUNDING]

OFFICER:
Prepare to receive aircraft.

Prepare to receive aircraft.

Bridge to flight deck...

as soon as that jet touches down...

escort Oscar Goldman
to the Captain's quarters.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT]

[KNOCKS ON METAL BARS]

Austin... you're supposed to be...

I mean, how did you get here?

I'll tell you all about it later.

Are you ready to get out of here?

Uh... sure, you kidding?
But how?

Don't worry about it.

Is there a guard out front?

Uh... yeah.

Listen, though.

They're taking me to see some
Lieutenant in a couple of minutes.

If they come in and I've gone...

they blow the whistle before
we get any kind of a head start.

Right.

I'll get the others out first.
Where are they?

Corner room at the back of the building.
Second floor.

What about your crew?

Still on the Nesco, I think.

Locked in the engine room.

See you in a while.

Luis? Hey, Luis!
Quick, open up!

Anybody here for a boat ride home?

Steve.

Oh, thank God, Steve boy.

How in the great wide world...

If you don't mind, Doctor, I think
we'd better get you out of here first.

But the guards and these bars...

Colonel, what happened?

Still Colonel, huh?

Say, either of you cleared to view
top secret government equipment?

What? Well, no, of course not.

Consider yourself cleared.

What do you mean?

[METAL CREAKING]

[METAL CREAKING]

Shall we?

Good Lord...

Hold that thought, Doctor.
Let's go.

Come on, child.

Lieutenant, I just came down to tell you
that we have just netted ourselves...

an unexpected nice big fish.

As a matter of fact,
not only that...

but the biggest fish of the bunch...

one who thoughtfully returned
to us from the dead.

Jed mentioned they might take
him to some lieutenant's office.

We could use a better passport back
to the boat than just me in this uniform.

Yeah.

Are there many soldiers
around headquarters area?

Well, this hour, they're all stuffing
themselves in the dining hall.

That's good.

[CHIME RINGS]

You forget, Senior, that I specifically
was present to see my General...

sever the lifeline of this
American Colonel Austin.

Now suddenly...

this dead man has
come to see you at your window?

I must tell you, my friend...

I'm telling you to get up for five minutes
and get your men out of that mess hall!

Make sure he doesn't get away,
or rescue those other two...

that he doesn't rescue me!

I assure you, Senior, that no man
gains entrance here undetected.

Not even your dead man.

I must remind you
that we are a garrison...

of the most highly qualified trained
professional soldiers.

Now I think the Lieutenant's
gonna volunteer...

to be our passport.

This is for you, Mr. Goldman.

Pick it up on their
underground frequency.

To Snow White. Sneezey needs taxi.

Please wait at curb.

Well, at least he's alive... or was.

Sneezey needs taxi...
please wait at curb.

He means the 12-mile limit.

Direct route as quickly as possible.

[ALARM SOUNDING]

[HORN HONKS]

Lieutenant Morales accompanying these
people to the boat for General Ferraga.

GUARD:
Your pardon, Lieutenant.

If I could see, please,
the written pass?

Telephone the dock!
Go, you idiots!

Tell them we're on our way!

Andale.

My orders were verbal.

Are you telling me you
do not recognize me?

Lieutenant, I beg you forgive me,
but without the written pass...

[PHONE BUZZES]

Perhaps if the
General Ferraga could...

Excuse me, sir.

Doctor, when I give the word,
drive straight to the boat...

get the crew out of the
engine room and start her up.

You heard the man.

GUARD:
They're here now, sir.

Go!

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Stop these people!
Stop them!

They're escaping, you fools!

[METAL CREAKING UNDERWATER]

STEVE:
Let's get out of here, Doctor!

I removed the propellers.

It should at least give us a head start.

OFFICER:
Prepare to launch helicopters.

Launch helicopters!

Launch helicopters!

We'll have air over that


We can't violate that


I know.

They'll have to come
to us on their own.

Air cover reports vessel answering
the Nesco's description.

Just sighted one to two miles
offshore and heading out.

If he can just reach that 12-mile
limit before they jump him.

Vaminos, andale muchachos!

[ENGINE STARTS]

[ENGINE REVS]

But there is no work?

MAN:
I don't understand!

Let's take the small boat.
Vaminos!

[g*nsh*t]

OFFICER: Helicopters report
they have the Nesco in sight.

Half our crew is up on the
flight deck trying to get a visual.

Huh?

It's a regular rooting section up there.

Oh.

[g*n FIRING]

PILOT:
This is Jumbo One.

Enemy boat is overtaking
and firing on Nesco.

Ah, swell...

[g*n FIRING]

[g*n FIRING]

[METAL CREAKING]

Colonel?

Don't worry,
just keep this boat moving.

[LOUD CRASH]

[YELLING IN SPANISH]

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

[YELLING IN SPANISH]

Colonel! Come look!

I'll be right with you, Miss Ellis!

What's all this Colonel business?

Miss Ellis business?

You mean after all this time,
you haven't...

I mean, nothing is...

Well.

It's about time you
struck out somewhere, Colonel.

A friend indeed.

Here you are, Mr. Goldman.

A little toast before you hop back
aboard that jet plane of yours.

To your safe return, Doctor.

Hard to believe... a bionic man.

Well, that's not exactly
common knowledge.

Nor will it be, I assure you.

Well, of course the doctor here,
he did lose his diving bell.

All that valuable, expensive equipment.

He's uh... he's privately financed,
you know.

Oh, is that so?

Yep.

Thank you for the information,
Colonel.

Well...

All right, Doctor.

You've got a deal.

A deal?

Doctor, the United States
government has just agreed...

to reimburse you
for all equipment lost.

What?

Well, thanks,
Mr. Goldman.

Thanks very much.

Next time, Steve,
we'll head for the Antarctic.

No, no, no,
that's part of the deal.

Period.

The Colonel's too valuable to risk to...

Why don't I hate him.

[END THEME MUSIC]