02x15 - Return of the Robot Maker

[bunniefuu]

FLIGHT COM:
It looks good at NASA One.

B- 52 ]PILOT:
Roger.

BCS Arm switch is on.

FLIGHT COM:
Okay, Victor.

B-52 PILOT:
Landing Rocket Arm switch is on.
Here comes the throttle.

Circuit breakers in.

STEVE:
We have separation.

B-52 PILOT:
Inboard and outboards are on.

I'm comin' forward with the side stick.

FLIGHT COM:
Looks good.

PILOT:
Ah, Roger.

STEVE:
I've got a blowout in damper three.

SR-71 PILOT:
Get your pitch to zero.

STEVE:
Pitch is out. I can't hold altitude!

B-52 PILOT: Correction. Alpha Hold is oil“.
Threat selector is emergency.

STEVE: Flight Com. I can't hold it!
She's breaking up! She's breaking...

ANNOUNCER:
Steve Austin. Astronaut.

A man barely alive.

Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.

We have the technology.

We have the capability
to make the world's first bionic man.

Steve Austin will be that man.

Better than he was before.

Better, stronger, faster.

[MAIN TITLE THEME]

You're looking exceptionally
well tonight, sir.

OSCAR'S VOICE:
feel very well tonight.

I'm glad to hear it.

I'm in a very positive mood myself.

OSCAR'S VOICE:
Good.

I think you're ready to assume the
identity I've programmed for you.

OSCAR'S VOICE: Doctor...

I am more of this man
than the man himself.

Excellent, excellent!

The final touch.

Now, let's have a look at you.

[ROBOTIC SOUND EFFECT]

Truly superb.

Perfect, my boy!

Mr. Seaton to see Mr. Goldman.

Have a chair, won't you,
Mr. Seaton.

Mr. Goldman will be with you
as soon as he's off the phone.

Thank you.

Lovely day, isn't it?

It's a beautiful day.

Yes, General, we should have a working
prototype of the Brahmin project...

by, oh, the middle of next month.

Yes, as a matter of fact, I'm going down
there tomorrow for a progress report.

Very good.

Sure, I'll be happy to.

Thank you for the call.

Sally, I'll see Mr. Seaton now.

Yes, sir.

Well, Mr. Seaton.

What do I owe the pleasure of this...

Funny...

Your face looks familiar.

Haven't we met somewhere before?

I don't believe so.

Strange having worked
in Washington all these years...

and not bumping into one and other.

Life is full of surprises.

Yeah.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[DART g*n FIRES]

[OSCAR GROANS]

Steve, can I come in?

Well, as long as you've still
got a six clearance, why not.

Steve, I've been looking
all over Washington for you.

This must be your lucky day.

I wouldn't place
any bets on that.

You just wait until I show you
what I've got for you.

You know, Barney, I surely appreciate
all the trouble you go to...

to think up these things up
and bring them to me...

First of all we have this here,
a bulletproof glove.

Nice, huh?

Yeah, well,
what's it for, Barney?

To protect your bionic hand,
of course.

Well, I've gotta admit,
I would never thought of that.

And next...

we have what
I call the executive special.

An attache case, only it
isn't really an attache case.

Now what do you think it is?

I give up.

It's three bombs.

Three bombs.

Each b*mb flies off
in a different direction.

Each b*mb explodes
at a different time.

Barney, I honestly don't think...

Here it is.

Le piece de resistance.

The pinnacle of my achievements.

A bulletproof tablecloth?

No, no, no.

A bulletproof vest.

Look at that material.
Just look at it.

Thin as a wafer,
light as a feather.

This won't restrict your movements
like a regular bulletproof vest...

but it'll stop an 8-millimeter shell
and give you ten cents change.

Go on, feel it.

You know, Steve, in the work that you do,
the things you get involved with...

I think you need a little... edge.

Perfect.

Thank you for your time,
Mr. Goldman.

I'll be in touch.

Have a nice day, dear.

You know, I've been working
on these things for months.

You've gotta give me a chance!

Barney, you're a field agent.

You're not supposed to invent things.

Steve, I want to move out of the field.

I have plans.

I can be more useful in the lab,
I know I can.

Now if you'll just try
the equipment, just once...

then tell Oscar what you think.

Look, Barney, why don't you
go ask Oscar yourself?

Oh, Oscar has no faith in me.

No, but he respects someone
who keeps trying, Barney.

Well, yeah.

Well, maybe I should
talk to him again.

Sally, go to the top secret vault
and bring out the Brahmin file, will you?

Yes, sir, Mr. Goldman.

Thank you.

[ROBOTIC SOUND EFFECT]

Here's the Brahmin file.

Thank you.

Let me introduce myself.

I'm Dr. Chester Dolenz.

I believe you're familiar with my work.

Steve Austin's seen it before.

I make robots.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

[ROBOTIC SOUND EFFECT]

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

Hello, Steve.
I'll tell him you're here.

No, never mind.
I'll surprise him.

[ROBOTIC SOUND EFFECT]

Steve, come on in.

How've you been?

Well, in the last two hours since you
last saw me, very well, thank you.

Good.
Sit down, pal.

Okay.

[PHONE RINGS]

OSCAR'S VOICE:
Excuse me, Steve.

Hello?

General Kramer, how've you been?
Yes, of course.

I don't want you to think
of me as your enemy, Mr. Goldman.

May I call you Oscar?

It won't work, Dolenz.

Steve Austin and I know
each other too well.

You can't keep this up for long.

I've made mistakes in the past,
I know.

Steve Austin said
my first robot squeaked.

But this time I've foreseen
every possibility.

This new robot
is a supreme mechanism.

Every human detail
has been painstakingly reproduced.

This robot eats and drinks.

I've installed an incinerator
to burn up all of the fuels...

and foods ingested by the body.

It blinks.

It can even simulate breathing.

What do you want from me?

Everything, Oscar.

OSCAR'S VOICE: I'll confer with
Major Segal tomorrow on the matter.

Thank you for calling, General.

OSCAR'S VOICE:
Hope to see you soon.

[HANGS UP PHONE]

You know, Oscar,
we'd better get going.

We gotta stop and change,
those girls aren't going to wait forever.

[ROBOTIC SOUND EFFECT]

Girls?

Don't you remember what day this is?

Amy and Denise.

Oh, of course.

Amy and Denise,
what's the matter with me?

That's today, isn't it?

Yeah.

I've just got a couple of papers
to look at and I'll be with you, huh?

Okay.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

[ROBOTIC SOUND EFFECT]

So that's it.

The Brahmin file.

The robot has just collected
all the information in that file...

and stored it in the computer.

I can sell that for a fortune,
of course.

The first of many such sales once
the robot's established in your place.

But first I've got to get
from you the code number...

so that my robot can gain entry
to the Brahmin installation.

Now you, of course, have no intention of
giving me that code number...

but, the electrodes
I've placed on your skull...

will provide me with that information...

And it won't be long before
everything you know, Oscar...

will be stored in that computer.

[ELECTRONIC HUMMING]

So the senator said, he said,
"Well, there were 300,000 votes."

What he didn't know was the 300,000
votes was for the other candidate.

You know, Oscar, you tell that joke
about three times a week.

It's the only one I know.

If you'd learn another one,
then you'd have two.

Yeah, well, I'll work on it.

Hey, you better take it easy there, pal.

Oh, it's all right,
isn't it, Oscar?

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

Sure.

It's really wonderful.

[DEVICE BEEPING]

Pass number, Brahmin installation...

LR3-05-07-19.

Top security clearance.

Will give bearer access
to Brahmin installation.

[DEVICE BEEPING]

Thank you, Oscar.

You've been most cooperative.

Excuse me.

I have to make an important
phone call to make.

[DIALING PHONE]

MAN ON P.A.:
Phone call for Mr. Goldman.

Phone call for Mr. Oscar Goldman.

Denise, will you excuse me?

I'm Mr. Goldman.

This is Oscar Goldman speaking.

DOLENZ:
Standby for transmission.

[DEVICE BEEPING]

[ROBOTIC SOUND EFFECT]

DOLENZ:
Thank you, my boy.

Thank you.

Well, here comes the bad news.

Excuse me.

Okay, Oscar, what's the bad news?

It's the Brahmin Project.

That's the new concentrated energy
source the military has developed?

One of the most closely guarded
secrets in the United States.

It's located in Fort McAllister in Virginia.

I don't even know where
it is on the base.

Oscar, we're being
rude to our guests.

This is much more important
than our guests, Steve.

Since they completed the facility...

they've been running computer-simulated
attacks against its defense.

Now this is what the computer says.

It can withstand attacks
from Green Berets...

from Sherman tanks,
from rockets.

And the computer print-out
also says that...

well...

that one man could possibly
get through its defenses.

How could one man get through
the defenses of machine g*ns...

and landmines when a tank couldn't?

I'm telling you what the computer
says and what it says is...

one man can get through...

a bionic man.

But they're not supposed
to know about me.

I know, I...

well, I told them.

We're all on the same team.

The Strategy Board thinks that whatever
we have the enemy must have.

So from the moment that I put you together,
they have taken it for granted...

that the enemy also have bionic men.

Oscar, be realistic.

Okay, I can move fast,
I'm stronger than other men...

but I'm no match for land mines
and machine g*ns.

The computer says one man
might be able to get through.

Well, I think the computer
has a case of the dumbs.

It's a simulated attack.

It's between you and the computer.

The g*ns will have blanks,
the mines will have dummy charges.

I still think the computer's flipped.

[ROBOTIC SOUND EFFECT]

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

Do you know
who was on that phone?

The Secretary.

We have no choice, Steve.

I told him we'd do it.

I still say it's busy work.

But what else is new?

Thank you, pal.

I knew you'd do it.

I've got to get to some briefings
and I'll see you in the morning...

and please send my regrets
to those charming ladies.

You know you're just
a heartbreaker.

Well, when you've got it, pal,
you've got it.

I mean, you know?

I know what you mean.

[ROBOTIC SOUND EFFECT]

Oscar?

Steve!

Ready to go, huh?

Just about.

Well, go ahead, Barney.

Well, Oscar, you see...

What I'm trying to say is...

Maybe I better explain, Barney.

Oscar, since this is
a simulated mission...

well, it'd give me a good chance to try out
some of the stuff that Barney's invented.

STEVE:
That is if it's okay with you.

Yeah, Oscar, how about it?

[ROBOTIC SOUND EFFECT]

DOLENZ:
Who is this man?

BARNEY[TV]:
lam working on several ideas...

I can manage without your help.

Seems reasonable.

OSCAR:
Certainly.

Well, there you go, Barney.

Just leave the knapsack and I'll get
back to you when I have some results.

One more thing, Steve.

Well, I don't think I'll have
much time to write anyone.

Oh, it's not a fountain pen.

It's a Walkie-talkie.
Range of 50 miles.

Absolutely foolproof.

I'll give it a try.

Thanks, Steve.

I'll never be able to thank you.

See ya'!

That was good of you, Oscar.

We'd better get going.

Do you mind if we use your car?

Sure.

I'll meet you out front.

It's gonna be a heavy job, isn't it?

I'd say that's a fair evaluation, Steve.

Well, I could use a little breakfast.
Get my motor running.

[ROBOTIC SOUND EFFECT]

Your motor?

Ah, you know what I mean.

Yeah, I'd like to get
my motor started, too.

Oscar, how'd you do that?

Hmm?

That coffee, it's scalding hot.

Well, I have the perfect stomach
for working in Washington, Steve.

I can eat anything.
I can drink anything...

I just burn it up.
It's cast iron.

Yeah, well, you're gonna have
ulcers on top of ulcers.

Pull over there, Steve.

There it is.

The Brahmin Installation.

The security systems start
at the edge of the grass there.

I'm gonna synchronize
my watch at 3:46.

Right.

All right, here's the plan
for the attack.

Give me about ten minutes
from the time I enter the installation...

to get to the control center, which is here,
so I can monitor their defense procedures.

Now as soon as you
go over the fence here...

your presence will be detected.

But before they can focus in on you...

I'd like you to create a diversion,
right here, Area Six.

That b*mb kit that you got
from Barney, that'll do it.

Now exactly 17 seconds
after those bombs go off...

what I want you to do is to as*ault
this Section... Area One.

That's the brilliant attack plan
the computer came up with?

Well, even if you make it
through the defenses, Steve...

the computer projects that you couldn't
possibly get past the windows.

You know, you talk about that computer
like it was your brother or something.

STEVE: It's only a bunch of wires,
dumb wires.

I appreciate that you're going
along with me on this, Steve...

but you're in no danger.

Once you're immobilized,
the test is over.

Just make sure that everybody up
there knows this is just a game.

I could end up very dead.

Have I ever let you down, pal?

No.

But this isn't the day to start.

You're going to k*ll him.

I'm afraid I have no alternative.

That field will lamentably be the site
of Steve Austin's last stand.

Why?

Two reasons.

First, my robot needs something to divert
the attention of the security people...

while he photographs
the Brahmin blueprints.

And the k*lling of Steve Austin
will provide that diversion.

Secondly, I have to eliminate
your Colonel Austin...

because he's the only human being who
could possibly expose my robot as a robot.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Well, this is it.

Good luck, pal.

Good morning, Sergeant.

Good morning, sir.

I'm Oscar Goldman.

[DEVICE BEEPING]

And the pass number,
Mr. Goldman?

LR3-05-07-19.

Sign in, please.

Certainly.

Go right ahead, sir.

Have a good day, Sergeant.
Thank you.

Here at Brahmin, we believe we have the
most advanced security system in the world.

An ant couldn't crawl in here
without tripping a dozen alarms.

And the project blueprints
are safely secured, General?

Behind that door.

Absolutely out of reach...

assuming that anyone ever got
this far inside the installation.

But, of course, that's not likely.

No, I think not.

[BIONIC SOUND EFFECT]

[ALARM SOUNDING]

General, I'm picking up an unauthorized
intruder in Section Four.

What?

An intruder?
Can that be possible?

I want an alert.
Base wide. Condition Red.

Yes, sir.

There must be some mistake,
General.

I hope you're right for his sake,
whoever he is.

I have the intruder on monitor, sir.

Good.

Keep him steady.

This shouldn't take very long.

[ROBOTIC SOUND EFFECT]

[ALARM SOUNDING]

Subject is now moving
into Section Three.

Keep him on camera.

We'll let him come
a little bit further.

Subject is off monitors.

You hold steady on Section Three.

[DEVICE BEEPING]

BARNEY.‘ Steve?

Barney.

BARNE Y:
The pen, Steve, the pen.

Pull the little clip out.

The little clip on the pen!

Can you hear me now?

Yeah, that's swell.

Works good, doesn't it?
I'm still in Washington.

How's the mission going?

Well, I'm tied up
at the moment, Barney.

What's up?

I'll talk to you later.

How do we know that
he intends to attack, General?

We gotta be sure before
we take action against him.

[BIONIC SOUND EFFECT]

[WHISTLING THROUGH AIR]

Does that convince you,
Mr. Goldman?

Concentrate fire in Area Six.

[MACHINE g*n FIRING]

I think that should have done it.

Look, there he is!

How the...

AIDE:
Subject is entering Section One.

How can he run so fast?

Activate the mine field.

He won't get past that.

[MINE CLICKS]

[GRUNTS]

[MINE CLICKS]

[MINE CLICKS]

[MINE CLICKS]

General!

It's not possible.

How could he out-jump the mine?

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

Here come the blueprints.

Subject at the perimeter
of Section One.

Activate bunkers.

Yes, sir.

[MACHINE g*n FIRES]

[METAL CREAKING]

[DEVICE BEEPING]

Barney?

Barney, Barney!

FEMALE DISPATCH:
Car 412, come in, Car 412.

You gotta be kidding.

We've got an inoperative bunker, sir.

Intruder is still in the area.

We know where he is now.

Keep the high-caliber bunkers activated.

He's not getting away.

[ALARM SOUNDING]

There he is!
He's running away.

Activate!

Congratulations, General.

Very impressive.

It will be included in my report as well.

Thank you.

Was a bit hairy, wasn't it?

Yes, it was.

Deactivate the field defenses,
pick up the body.

Get me a close-up of that man.

He was really something.

It certainly was, well,
I'd better be going now.

AIDE: General?

Oh my...

OSCAR'S VOICE:
That's Steve Austin.

One of my own men.

Well, with Steve Austin
out of the way...

my only problem now seems to be
what to do with the real Oscar Goldman.

Your entire brain memory bank
program is now on tape.

And my robot can and will
function as you from now on.

So there's really no need to...

to keep both of you around.

STEVE:
Thank you, Barney.

I thought they said
he was in Area One, Section Ten.

Do you see him anywhere?

No! Check over there!

You have my assurance...

Austin's death will be kept in complete
secrecy, pending the investigation.

I'll have a unit come down from my office
to pick up the body, General.

You have my deepest sympathies,
Mr. Goldman.

He was quite a man.

GENERAL:
He's a hard man to lose.

Colonel Austin was a traitor.

He'll be remembered as a traitor.

That's all I have to say.

Right.

I'll be in touch with you from Washington
about the investigation.

Driver? Let's go.

[BIONIC SOUND EFFECT]

Barney!

[STATIC]

Barney!

Hello, Barney?

[STATIC]

BARNE Y:
Steve!

Steve!

Barney!

Look, tell Internal Security to lock
Oscar's office, all his files, everything.

What are you saying?

I can't explain now, Barney, but I think
Oscarjust tried to get me k*lled.

[STATIC]

My aide will pick me up here.

Thank you, driver.

[BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT]

[BIONIC SOUND EFFECT]

Ah, there you are!
Come in, come in.

Oscar Goldman,
meet Oscar Goldman.

How do you do?

You arrived just in time.

Oscar here...

is about to commit suicide.

Let's take Oscar outside, Oscar.

This will be your final
resting place.

They'll pour the concrete around you.

And then we're going to set you high
on a hill with a lovely view of Washington.

Shall we?

Oscar!

Steve!
[ROBOTIC SOUND EFFECT]

Steve!

Steve! It's me!

Steve! It's me!

It's me, Steve!

It's me, Steve!

[BIONIC EYE SOUND EFFECT]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[BIONIC SOUND EFFECT]

[ROBOTIC SOUND EFFECT]

DOLENZ:
k*ll him, my boy.

[ROBOTIC SOUND EFFECT]

[BIONIC SOUND EFFECT]

[BIONIC SOUND EFFECT]

Ahh...!

[BIONIC SOUND EFFECT]

[BIONIC SOUND EFFECT]

Steve Austin, I find this
difficult to say...

but you certainly earned
my respect today.

My hat's off to you.

Well, as far as your work is concerned,
Dolenz, I'll have to say the same.

I must say that makes me
feel a good deal better.

I'm ready.

And Dolenz...

This one didn't even squeak.

Well, I hope that's the
last of Chester Dolenz.

Yeah, I'll drinkto that.

By the way, just out of curiosity...

how did you know which
one of us was me?

Very simple, Oscar...

robots don't sweat
when they're nervous.

Spooky, isn't it?

OSCAR: I think I'll keep
you for a souvenir.

[END THEME MUSIC]