stand in the place where you live now
think about Direction wonder why you
have now stand in the place where you
were now face think about the place
where you live wonder why you have
people and in the place where you
live
out dire wonder why you have it now in
the place where you were
now out the place where you live wonder
why you have stand in the place where
you
are so
stand
boy this is so cool my first plane ride
and to such a neat place too Iraq it was
so nice of my daddy to suggest it the
Disney Land in the Middle
East oh boy how they're going to Bow and
scrape and kiss my pinky ring when they
hear I'm from
America ah o Nature Calls too many free
Sprites
Bo they sure make these bathroom doors
complicated luckily I'm not an idiot
otherwise I couldn't get it
open jeez the guy before me left the fan
on an inconsiderate
b*stard
know starting to get a feeling that
maybe this is a little too big to be a
bathroom that was a weird way to spell
bathroom on that door back there what
was it e x i t now if I spell that out
phonetically that sounds like
exit which means I must be
falling which means I'm going to
die
I'm God so how long do I have to scream
before I hit the
ground I'd hate to die with a sore
throat oh jeez I got a long way to go my
life is starting to flash before my eyes
for some reason I can only remember
things that happened about a year and a
half
ago yep I can't remember anything before
that time Larry and I got stuck on that
stupid roller
coaster oh we're going to die up here
we're going to die don't say that Larry
don't say that we all right listen we
need to keep our strength let's let's
eat we need to ration what little food
we
have
that is so
cool screw it up again you
idiot now that's kind of
odd this wind is really messing up my
hair which reminds me of my old male
modeling
days this is so wonderful I can't
believe I'm actually modeling and I'm
really good at it too aren't I you know
what why didn't we take the tie off
throw it in the air go nuts for yeah
great terrific idea should have thought
I'm new at this but H
that okay take your shirt off
right do what take your shirt
out you said you're a professional model
man we got to have this for the ad well
nobody said anything about taking the
shirt off don't worry about it you're
doing
fantastic there it is yeah well that's
fantastic this is what you're talking
about something like
[Music]
this
[Music]
yeah no that's it I'm not modeling
anymore for the two of you oh I guess I
just have my first taste of the filthy
side of this business need I remind you
sir I am a male model not a male
prost*tute
when I die they'll have to replace me
with a new paper boy but it'll be a
human being this time I made certain of
that here comes paper boy 2000 you son
of a
[ __ ] my God is gone goofy
honest
a oh no paper Bo pass is headed right
for that baby
carriage boy that was close can you
imagine if there had been a baby in
there the really tragic part is that
when I die all my driving skills will go
with me so much for the
seminars I think you're going to be
pretty impressed at how good I am behind
the wheel not that that matters much
these days I mean with these new airbags
you can pretty much crash full speed
into anything and walk away right Mr
Peterson sit there quietly while I
finish filling out this information
sorry
what is this one of those nine Shooters
Mr pet give me that you idiot that is a
felony Mister geez I'm sorry I thought
you knew what I was doing you know it's
not good for a cop not to know if
somebody's taking their g*n is that why
they put you on this [ __ ] detail Mr
Peterson this is a duty of all state
troopers
yeah I believe that one I just love all
those episodes of Beretta where he gave
the driver's
test despite the fact that I'm falling
in the wrong direction I'm pretty sure
that I'll go to heaven because of all my
social work with the Youth of Greenville
kids come on let's get in a semicircle
we're going to have a little bull
session come on just pull the chairs
around that's it f around like that go
find some
[Music]
room
yes young lady in the provocative
sweater why you still a paper boy
yeah all right okay you guys want to
hear a little something about me fine
I'll play I'll go first let's see all
right well here's something something
I'm not very proud
of it took me 10 years before I was able
to shower in the
nude because I was sure that you know
that thing where the where the water
comes out
of that there was an eye in there
watching
me
sorry oh boy that feels so much better
to get that out okay all right who has
the guts to go
next okay I can see this is going
nowhere Let's uh let's try a little role
play maybe that'll help hey why you
always getting down on me and my friends
come on in snake mommy's just putting on
her panty
hose mom why are you always putting down
me and my friends snake would you be a
love and zip mommy
up that's great oh that's good you're
getting some real emotions out I think
there was a little progress made here
today you know we're not such a tough
guy after all are
[Music]
we okay Mr Bazooka Joe just for that you
don't get this back till the end of the
day unless I crash through the roof of a
theater I guess my days on the stage are
over living in a zoo you can be very sad
people stare at you and make you
mad oh how I wonder what they would
do if animals stared at them like they
were in a
zoo how do you like
it when we stare at you it doesn't feel
good now isn't that true
how
you scare you it doesn't feel good now
is that
true you lousy b*stard I'll k*ll you all
right glce that ought to do it let's
go wow that was great sometimes the
production values of my life simply
amaze me
sure wish there was a way out of this
predicament I know I'll just flap my
arms and fly
away why didn't I think of this before
it works it
works
damn just my luck to fall out of a plane
during hunting
season oh
smarts buet
oh now I feel great boy it's a wonderful
day to be
alive except for that terrible nagging
feeling in the back of my mind now what
was
that oh yeah I fell out of a plane and
I'm plunging my death that's
right I bet hitting the ground is going
to sting which reminds me of the sting
but I don't have any rights to any clips
from that so watch
this hi guys Welcome to My Sting I mean
My Sting s i I mean my my stinking
room got about 30 seconds to make this
deal or I'm out of here okay okay let's
do it come on over
Tom why don't you sit right there on the
sofa and think you come on over here and
you have a seat right next to your buddy
Tom and make yourself comfortable and
just for me Vic why don't you just
position your body that way that'd be
great fix
that okay and Tom you're right there
here we go I've got the
all right
now let's see here's blocking the
camera wow look at all these watches
that I just paid
for whoa whoa whoa wait a minute here
what what
what okay guys before you jump to
conclusions I have to wear a concealed
police mic microphone for medical
reasons I'll never forget the time I won
a weekend with Martin mul boy did we
click I hope I haven't made a horrible
mistake here are you allowed to eat ham
s oh yes ma'am I can eat ham really for
some reason we thought you were Jewish
you are from New York no from St Louis
you people done your
homework I'm not Jewish okay I think we
hit a sourat look can we just eat from
start the last thing I had was a hot dog
at the
airport we thought we'd have you say
grace tonight Sandy it's an honor we
only bestow on special
guests oh
jeez oh
jeez uh look why don't we all just uh
meditate silently to
ourselves I'm I had a feeling you'd crap
out on the
prayer sure hope I don't land in the big
city they ain't fond of me there m no
sir Watch Hey look it's gone my wallet's
gone help please help please
I well top ofth the morning officer om
anything going on here that'll put me on
the map well the Saints be praised if it
isn't B Evans the reporter from the
evening star okay all right I've got to
keep my wits about me well I'm like a
rat caught in a maze say I smell a
story
po stupid
b*stards Chris we have your wallet we
brought it for you from home
Chris did you hear that he didn't lose
his wallet he left it at home get
it
wait a
second what these morons don't realize
is that I still have the key to the city
we changed a lot idiot oh
jeez come on guys let me in huh please
come
on okay fine I'll just wait out here
until you change your minds and I can
wait believe me I've got all the time in
the
[Music]
world well I know fre people who are
definitely more the loss of a fellow fat
a*s my construction worker
buddies they were even more magnificent
than I had imagined I had read every
book and seen every play and movie about
construction workers yet nothing
prepared me for the incredible surge of
joy and awe I felt when these glorious
mythical creatures walked through that
door the first thing my heroes taught me
was an important and essential lesson
how to act crude and obnoxious to the
various women who passed through my yard
for no apparent
reason shake it honey through the Wild
Thing
Mama yeah work that thing sister
W that's right you got it honey if
you're selling I'm
buying oh eat that cheese lady uhhuh
pluck that banjo yes you have very nice
looking shoes
Miss
the good thing about all this is that
there's plenty of room to die not like
that time I was cramped up in that
little
submarine the eyes Ro back in the
head the shark's eyes they're not like a
human's eyes they're black there's like
a doll's
eye and then you hear that horri
horrible high pitch
scream you go in the cage cage goes in
the water shock in the
water
and now get ready for the feel-good
experience of the
season
oh I'm keeping
him I guess when I sum it all up I've
had a great
life
oh
oh
oh
ow
H [ __ ]
off
wo oh what oh
Je
oh
ah what do you got
no
the okay uh oh
I got to give myself a
stitch that's so
funny but what about the time I fell out
of that silly
plane that was great I wonder how I got
out of that
one oh yeah I
didn't
well looks like the ground is coming up
pretty
fast farewell world I still love
you hey what look for once I didn't die
I landed on one of those discarded beds
from the classic TV series Love American
Style I guess I'm blessed after
all
I see trees of
green red roses
too I see them blue
for me and you and I think to
myself what a
wonderful I think to
myself what a
wonderful news update well you've been
hearing about it all evening The
Simpsons dog is missing and there's a
substantial reward offered for his what
that oh uh I've just been informed that
apparently there is no reward offered
but that shouldn't stop you from joining
the search on an all new Simpsons this
Thursday stay tuned now for the Sunday
comics tto Fox 21 Birmingham
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02x13 - Clip Show
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Chris Peterson is a carefree, childlike bachelor who refuses to live the life of an adult.
Chris Peterson is a carefree, childlike bachelor who refuses to live the life of an adult.