[arrows whooshing]
[]
[]
ROSE:
The wheels on the bus
go round and round
Round and round,
round and round
The wheels on the bus
go round and round
All through the town
[]
ROSE:
The wheels on the bus
go round and round
Round and round,
round and round
The wheels on the bus
go round and round
All through the town
[chuckles]
Hi.
[]
I'm Carrie. I like your song.
[]
[chuckles]
And I will be going now.
I'm sure you have a corn maze
to get back to or something.
[]
[Carrie screaming]
[Gaby laughing]
Jesus Christ, Gaby.
You just scared
the living sh*t out of me.
What's wrong with you?
Hey, don't use the good Lord's
name in vain, b*tch.
-What's wrong with you?
-[both laugh]
-I hate you so much.
-I hate you more, mama.
-Hold up, wait. You're here.
-Uh-huh.
Wait, I thought you couldn't
make it because of training.
Oh, my God.
And your hair looks so cute.
What? And your skin,
oh my God.
You are literally glowing, wait.
Are you following any vloggers?
-No, I don't do that sh*t.
-My back literally looks like...
Okay, dios mo.
Vodka. Red Bull.
Calm the f*ck down
and land your plane, babe. Okay?
I will do no such thing.
When I see someone that I love,
I'm gonna shout it
for the world to hear.
-I love Gaby Martinez.
-GABY: I love you too, dumbass.
You're f*cking nuts, bro.
Wait. Okay. No, no.
Seriously, though.
Why aren't you at school?
Well, I tore my anterior
cruciate ligament.
-Uh, what?
-My knee.
Oh, your knee. Wait, sh*t.
Gaby. I'm sorry.
Girl, I'm fine. I'll live.
Team doctors put me
on the RICE diet.
-Yeah?
-Rest. Ice.
Compression. Elevation.
So, I've wrapped my knee
and I'll be resting, icing,
elevating.
Whatever it is.
We're drinking this weekend.
Oh. I see.
-You see me.
-You got the RICE diet.
-I got the RICE diet.
-You're on the RICE diet.
I got the RICE diet.
I got the RICE pan.
I got that RICE [indistinct].
Okay, you really need to
stop because I have
-all the rice in me.
-Okay, okay.
-Holy sh*t. Olivia.
-Whoa.
GABY:
Oh god.
CARRIE:
Hey, what did you pack?
Well, the E-vite said to prepare
for a weekend of fun
and adventure.
Yeah.
So, I brought a couple
of extra thongs.
And, uh-
What? Oh, my God.
-What?
-Gaby, what the--?
-What?
-Stop!
When I love something,
I shout it for the world
to hear.
CHRIS:
Yeah!
I've directed this scene
so many times in my head,
-I deserve an Academy Award.
-Chris! Oh, my God.
-I can't believe you're here.
-It's okay.
I can't believe I'm anywhere
while the sun is still out.
Yeah. [chuckles]
Sheesh! Gabalicious?
Damn! Okay.
Oh. Sheesh!
GABY, you're looking fit.
Christopher, you're looking
50 shades of stoned.
Fifty-one.
I'm like the Viagra train.
You should hop on board.
Been there. Rode that.
Discovered I was riding
on the wrong tracks,
but I will always be grateful
for my life-changing
lesson from you.
Respect.
[both laughs]
How's the 400 treating you?
Fifty-one flat.
How's 420 treating you?
14 grams flat.
So, what gives?
Princess ever coming down
from her Hindu Kush mountain?
-We haven't seen her yet.
-Yeah?
Interesting.
Hmm.
Hey, since she did invite us,
it would be super rude
not to partake
in these delicious
sweetie treaties.
-Knock yourself out.
-Alright, man.
Yeah.
-Let them eat cake!
-[scream, laugh]
-Oh my God.
-Wait. Look at you.
I know.
The perfect princess as always.
Thank you, thank you. Oh my God.
I'm so excited
you guys are here!
Aight.
Listen, I broke my own leg
just to make sure
that I wouldn't miss it.
And that is why you have
secured a spot
in my book of soulmates.
-Oh yeah?
-Forever.
I broke my own bank account.
Uh, big bag.
-Yeah.
-Give me.
A little jewelry box.
[chuckle]
Carrie, it's perfect.
Oh, just like you.
Look.
Chris.
-Hi!
-CHRIS: Hi.
Nice of you to say hi to me.
Do you have anything to keep
Little Miss Princess happy?
CHRIS:
Hmm.
[laughs]
Only if you like Scooby Snacks.
Winner, winner.
-Tofu and kale dinner.
-Tofu and kale dinner.
Wait. So what's the plan,
birthday girl?
SARAH:
Only the greatest weekend ever.
OLIVIA:
Oh my goodness!
SARAH:
Hi!
OLIVIA:
Yay!
-Hey!
-Hey!
[laughing]
What's up, yo?
-SARAH: Oh, I know.
-sh*t.
Hey.
Don't be mad at me.
I'm not mad.
I just wish that
you would have told me.
Well, if I told you,
you wouldn't have come.
Are you serious?
You're my best friend.
Of course, I'm gonna come.
I just would have
prepared myself
for the toxic sh*t sandwich
I'm about to be served.
Carrie, you're being dramatic.
Yes, she is a hot mess.
And yes, she is beautiful
and rich.
And yes,
she drives all of us crazy.
And yes, she's gonna go
her entire life
without ever lifting a finger
and getting everything
she wants.
And?
No and, those are just facts.
Okay.
Yeah, not helping.
OLIVIA:
Look, she's my friend.
She's not the monster
that you think she is.
And if you love me,
you'll give her a chance.
Please. Please, please,
please, please.
You're lucky it's your birthday.
That's right,
I'm the birthday b*tch.
-Yeah.
-I love you.
[chuckles] Oh.
Hi.
-Hey, Carrie.
-Hey.
You look great.
Ah, thanks.
So do you.
Thanks.
Well, this is fun.
All my best friends
in the same place.
Best birthday present ever!
Speaking of birthdays,
is this it?
It's all of us getting drunk
and fat
on our old stomping grounds,
which I'm so down for.
Oh, well,
I am so glad you asked.
Ladies and gentlemen.
In order to celebrate the birth
of this magnificent, beautiful
creature standing before you--
-CARRIE: Oh, girl.
Bow, b*tches, down.
Right, thank you.
From a very generous donation
from the My Daddy Corp,
I have planned a weekend
filled with sex, drugs,
and rock and roll.
[laugh]
We have passes to
the hottest ticket around town.
The Blue Light Music Festival!
[screams]
-What?
-I love you all!
Not to rain on your downpour.
Not a phrase,
makes no f*cking sense.
Blue Light is like
a bajillion miles away.
Maybe more.
No.
It's a 10-hour drive from here.
And if we leave now,
we'll get there
just after midnight.
Guys, 48 hours
of nonstop partying,
multiple stages.
-It's gonna be so lit!
-SARAH: Yeah, okay.
[chuckles]
CHRIS:
Let's go.
And um, I don't know
if you've heard,
but since it's my birthday,
I want to travel in style.
[truck honking in distance]
OLIVIA:
Oh, yes.
-What?
-Holy sh*t.
[Gaby speaks Spanish]
No way, b*tch!
Alright, you wh*res, let's go!
[cheering]
[]
[indistinct shouting]
[screams]
Michael!
Okay, get a room.
I did. I drove it here.
Carrie!
[indistinct chatter]
[]
[cheering]
[]
Ooh.
MICHAEL:
Oh, uh, sh*t.
Sorry, my bad.
Everyone, this is
my roomie Jason.
Jason, this is my everyone.
-Hi Jason.
-CARRIE: Hey.
-GABY: What's up?
-CHRIS: What's up?
He doesn't talk much,
'cause he's an ex-Marine.
So he's mostly just calculating
badass ways he can k*ll you,
-the way ex-Marines do.
-[laughing]
Right.
Well, no one's an ex-Marine,
you're a Marine for life.
But uh, yeah, I'm a Marine
who also is a college student.
Huh.
Hey.
I'm Carrie.
Thank you for your service.
What?
Isn't that what you're supposed
to say to someone
who's in the military?
Yeah, if you mean it.
OLIVIA:
Okay, beautiful people!
Alright, since I am treating you
like royals this weekend
with the best weekend ever,
I am not lifting
a f*cking finger.
So, I need all of you
to grab this deliciousness
on the table,
and load it into the RV.
It's called "the Beast"!
Yes, it is, baby.
Alright, now let's go. I want
this weekend to be perfect!
-Yeah.
-GABY: Alright.
I didn't mean to offend you
with what I said.
-I uh--
-You're cool.
Hey Jason, um,
would you be a doll
and help me with my luggage?
My dad was in the Navy
and he said to always find
a military man
in or out of uniform
whenever help was needed.
Sure, lead the way.
SARAH:
Great, this way.
[]
[chuckles] Oh God, of course.
Dude, where'd you
steal this from?
MICHAEL:
Didn't steal it. Borrowed.
My Uncle Grant.
CHRIS:
Oh.
Do you even know how
to drive this thing?
Made it here alive.
So, as long as we don't
have to make
any left or right turns,
we'll be fine.
-[Gaby chuckles]
-Babe, that's not funny.
I'm kidding.
No chance in hell we'll be fine.
Let's have a blast
in the process
and let the adventure begin.
-Whoo, whoo!
-Yay! I love you all!
Happy birthday to me!
[cheering]
Next stop, Blue Light!
-Blue Light! Blue Light!
-Blue Light! Blue Light!
-Blue Light! Blue Light!
-Blue Light! Blue Light!
-Blue Light! Blue Light!
-Blue Light! Blue Light!
-Blue Light!
-Blue Light!
Call me when you get there
Call me when you get there
Call me when you get there
You know traffic
is a nightmare
Still I'm gonna drive there
Pick you up and get you home
It's been weeks
since we were racing
From check-in to your gate
And all the while
I've been all alone
So won't you call me
when you get there
Call me when you get there
I've been losing my my mind,
my sense of space and time
This feeling's so impossible
So won't you call me
when you get there
Call me when you get there
OLIVIA & CARRIE [TOGETHER]:
Oh!
[cheering]
GABY:
Find on your own island
on that one, f*ck face.
Drink m*therf*cker, drink!
-Drink!
-Drink!
Drink! Drink!
Babe, my turn, my turn, my turn.
Eyes closed.
Hands up, b*tches!
Alright.
McDonald's fries.
Overrated.
Interesting.
Nickelback.
Underappreciated.
Oh! Ding, ding, ding, ding!
We've got a loser!
Dude, wait, wait, wait.
You hate the Beatles,
but you love Nickelback.
Straight up.
"Photograph" is like one
of the best songs ever written.
-GABY: No taste.
-Got me through our breakup.
Oh.
Next to your heartbeat
where I should be
That's "Photograph"
by Ed Sheeran.
-CHRIS: Ed Sheeran? Really?
-Yeah, uh-huh. Dumbass.
Then who the hell
is Nickelback?
-[Gaby & Carrie laugh]
-OLIVIA: You're an idiot.
Alright, chug!
-Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
-Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug!
If you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna go and piss out
my last good brain cells.
-Oh God.
-Yeah, man.
[grunts]
[laugh]
Didn't he used to be
like the smartest guy in school?
Yeah, no one's smarter.
-f*cking drugs!
-f*cking drugs!
Oh, hey.
You look good.
Oh, Uncle Grant's stash box.
What?
Nope.
The f*ck no.
[]
[indistinct lyrics]
Pit stop!
[cheering]
Alright!
Alright, kids, good time
to stretch those legs.
-Yeah.
-Get some fresh air.
-Yeah.
-MICHAEL: Use the bathroom.
-Yes.
-Grab more munchies.
Heck yeah.
-Yeah.
Post annoying pictures
on social media.
[girls laugh]
MICHAEL:
And enjoy civilization.
Who knows when
we'll see it again.
Alright, let's go!
Everybody off! Chop-chop!
Everybody off!
Chop-chop!
Chop-chop!
-Oh whoa, whoa, whoa.
-What are you doing?
You wanna go unwrap that
birthday present?
Yeah, I'd love to do that.
Whoo!
[]
Whoo!
[]
Where'd you go?
Ooh
Oh, okay.
Bom chicka--
No, no.
CHRIS:
Rude much?
I hope he blows
all her birthday candles.
Por favor, a dude's a dude.
Let's hope he finds her candles
before they melt.
[both laugh]
MAN 1:
Hey yo, yo, yo, mama, huh.
Happy to pump gas in your a*s.
Happy to kick your tiny d*ck!
[laughing]
What the f*ck did she just say?
She said...
-[mimics retching]
-[blows raspberry]
Hey ladies,
you have a great day.
Oh, thank you.
Now that's a gentleman.
SARAH:
Maybe they sell them inside.
[laughing]
[]
$37 is what it takes for me
to fill up my little Honda,
which you know,
I'm assuming give and take
is the same as the Beast, right?
Yeah, we could buy
a little Honda
for what it takes
to fill this thing up.
[chuckles]
And then there's uh, that.
Yeah, uh,
the shock absorber test.
Yeah, classy.
Yeah.
I'm heading to get some stuff.
Do you want anything?
Um, I'm good.
Are you sure?
Because I'm gonna
come back out loaded down
with Trimino, Funyuns,
Teddy Grahams, Red Vines,
Nutter Butters,
Fritos, and Cheetos.
Come on.
Yeah, that sounds--
I'll have some of yours.
[chuckles]
Okay.
We don't want any trouble.
We're just gonna get
in our car and go.
Then get in your d*uche mobile
and go.
Your pretty lady friend can hop
her sweet a*s in my love truck.
-Hey, assholes.
-MAN 1: That's not necessary.
SARAH:
Leave 'em alone.
Oh, look who came back
for some more.
[scoffs] Don't you guys
have a cross to burn
or a book to ban somewhere?
Oh, today's your lucky day,
Senorita Suck-My-Dicka.
-What?
-Oh.
MAN 2:
Yeah, I normally like
to eat a tamale, not f*ck one.
But in your case, mm, I'm gonna
make a hard exception.
Listen here, you inbred r*cist
[speaks Spanish]
The only thing you're gonna
be f*cking tonight
is that dumbass buddy of yours.
[tires screeching, engine roars]
So much for being a gentleman!
Party's just getting started.
f*ck off!
MAN 1:
Get her.
Get the hell off of me.
Oh, horny little sl*t
needs a real man.
Hey, let go of my girlfriend
before I--
Yo, shithead. [grunts]
CARRIE:
Jason!
[grunting]
CARRIE:
Careful!
No, Jason!
SARAH:
Oh my God.
Oh!
[girls screaming]
CARRIE:
Oh God!
OWNER:
What the f*ck?
Guys, come on.
What the f*ck?
[spits]
[engine rumbles]
[grunts]
That was total
Hulk smash things,
next level badassery.
I would love to shadow you,
be your intern.
What the hell's going on, man?
Pure insanity.
There were these r*cist assholes
screwing with us.
Jason just stepped in
and went bam like--
-Beat the sh*t out of 'em.
-Yeah!
Well, technically we both did.
No, amor, you were
so brave out there.
Oh my gosh, props to Jason
and his mad skills.
They're lucky
he didn't k*ll them.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
Okay, no one's gonna die on
my birthday, okay?
That would be a huge bummer.
Agreed?
-Agreed.
-Agreed.
SARAH:
No one dies, I promise.
Jason!
[gasp]
Looks like I should have
k*lled 'em after all.
[truck honking]
They're getting closer!
I'm surely not high enough
for today's activities.
[truck honking]
You gotta go faster, Jason!
I'm driving a f*cking house.
I'm going as fast as I can.
[honks and crashes]
[indistinct shouting]
[crashes and honks]
[truck whirs]
Everybody hold on to something.
-Oh!
-Oh my God!
[honks]
Come on, m*therf*cker.
Come on!
[truck whirs and honks]
g*n!
[g*n shot]
[tires screeching]
[pants]
[]
That was some crazy straight up
white people bullshit!
-OLIVIA: Oh my God!
-CARRIE: Oh my God.
-[girls pant]
-SARAH: Oh my God.
Hey, nice driving, dude.
OLIVIA:
Yeah, saving our lives.
Boss move to becoming
lifelong besties.
SARAH:
Yeah.
[kisses]
Thank you for your service.
[pants]
[]
Oh sh*t, sh*t, no, no.
f*ck, f*ck.
sh*t, sh*t, no.
f*ck, f*ck, sh*t.
No, no, no, no.
f*ck me!
Bumper's jacked.
Uncle's gonna make
my face jacked.
[clears throat]
Not to be Captain Obvious,
but uh, this whole thing's
a piece of sh*t.
Hey, shut it.
Hey, baby, it's okay.
It's not your fault, alright?
[speaks Spanish]
f*cking... [speaks Spanish]
Yeah, I'm calling the cops.
What? What? No.
Carrie, please, please.
Who are-- who are you calling?
The cops!
We have to report this.
These guys just tried
to k*ll us.
OLIVIA:
No, no, no, no, no, no.
We'd have to wait here
for them to arrive.
I'm sorry, I might be mistaken,
but I'm pretty sure
we have more drugs on board
than a Colombian cartel.
Mostly just inside of moi.
Besides, you wanna risk
Jason getting arrested
for kicking the living sh*t out
of both of them.
Of course not, but--
HIGHWAY PATROL OFFICER 1:
Highway Patrol,
what is your location
and emergency?
Look, Carrie,
what happened sucked.
It did.
But it's over, right?
So can we please just go
to the festival like we planned?
Please?
HIGHWAY PATROL OFFICER 1:
Hello? Do you need assistance?
Carre, it's my birthday.
I just want to have fun.
HIGHWAY PATROL OFFICER 1:
Hello?
Please?
-Okay.
-Thank you.
-Okay.
-OLIVIA: I love you.
CARRIE:
Yeah, I love you, too.
Okay, bad things happen
to good people,
blah, blah, blah,
but we shouldn't let it
ruin our weekend.
Michael, I'll give you
my credit card
and you can have the Beast fixed
before your uncle sees anything.
Good as new.
Seriously?
That would be amazing.
Oh, we're family.
We're in this together.
So sweet of you, thanks.
OLIVIA:
Okay.
We have been standing
on the side
of a dirty, muddy road
for too long.
Let's get our asses
to Blue Light!
-Okay, baby, baby, sure?
-What?
Sure.
But first we need to figure out
the whole
get-our-asses-there part.
Easy-peasy.
We just go back
to the truck stop, start over.
Problem solved, let's go!
No, we shouldn't waste
time backtracking.
Yeah, no, look, he's right.
We're already behind
on schedule,
so we need to find the best
route forward from right here.
Oh yeah, I think
I got something, guys.
Gaby!
Alright, it's kind of sketch,
but it looks like this route
will get us to Blue Light
two hours later than planned.
-OLIVIA: That's fine.
-Sold! Everybody,
-back to the beast!
-Yeah, that's sick.
-So it's looking good.
-OLIVIA: Yes, okay!
Blue Light, Blue Light,
Blue Light.
Let's go, let's go.
Party, party, party!
[The Beast whirs]
[]
-Blue Light! Blue Light!
-Blue Light! Blue Light!
We're going to Blue Light.
Blue Light, Blue Light.
We're going to Blue Light.
Blue Light.
Blue Light.
GABY:
Eh, check it out now.
[indistinct chatter]
[]
[]
Pretty kick-a*s driving
back there.
Is that military training?
No, I actually used
to steal a lot of cars.
So you know, you don't want
to get caught,
you got to be a kick-a*s driver.
Oh. [chuckles]
I've never met anyone
who's stolen a car before.
That's um, that's cool.
You still haven't. I'm--
[clears throat] I'm sorry,
I'm just f*cking with you.
-I didn't--
-[chuckles]
-Stupid.
-Okay.
When you're stationed
in Afghanistan,
you realize pretty quickly that
the key to staying alive
is being a defensive driver.
It's better than b*ll*ts.
[The Beast whirs, stops]
OLIVIA:
sh*t, I lost the signal again.
-Anyone got a signal?
-I got a signal.
It says to go straight.
No, take a right maybe.
Gaby, no maybes.
f*ck, I lost signal,
but I'm pretty sure it said
take the road on the right.
Babe, f*ck it, just take
the righty-tighty road, okay?
CARRIE: Yeah.
If you can't trust
a future Olympian,
who the hell
are you gonna trust?
-Right.
-Yeah, right?
Yeah. [chuckles]
[The Beats whirs]
[]
Alright, got one.
1988, but it's the entire
United States,
so the basic highways should
still be the same.
You figure out where we are
and I will blow you myself.
Look at my man,
taking one for the team.
That's hot, baby.
-[toilet flushing in back]
-[laughs]
Whoohoohoohoo!
Just a heads up,
you do not wanna go in there.
Something died inside of me
and fell out.
sh*t is nasty.
[laughs]
Jesus, are you well?
Open all the f*cking windows.
-Now!
-CHRIS: No, leave it.
-Oh my God, oh my God.
-GABY: [speaks Spanish]
It's like toxic, ugh.
CARRIE:
What?
Why would someone just
leave a nice car like that?
Out here in the middle
of nowhere?
Maybe they ran out of gas.
What did they do, just walk?
We've been driving for miles,
we haven't seen anybody.
Okay, maybe they got a ride.
I don't know, maybe they stole
the car and ditched it.
Maybe they got kidnapped,
who knows, who cares?
God, you think
of the stupidest sh*t
for a smart girl sometimes.
[The Beast whooshes]
Sitting here
on this rainy day
Looking out the window
as we drive away
Nothing ever goes my way
When people ask if I'm okay
I don't even know
where to begin
To answer your questions
Feels like I am swimming,
[indistinct]
Working my way
to the surface
Surprised my lungs haven't
burst yet
I feel the current
pulling me
Pulling me, pulling me down
Boom goes the dynamite.
Quick stop to check
for directions.
Next stop, Blue Light,
final stop, party!
[all cheer]
I got this, bro.
I'll go in. You've been driving.
[grunts]
It's okay, bro.
You just lay right there
and do nothing.
Why did you invite him again?
'Cause he's our friend, Michael.
Plus, he brought
the best birthday present.
You even know what that does?
It's either an upper, downer,
makes me fly or invisible.
But half the fun is not knowing.
[chuckles]
I know that's right.
Here, I'll get him to bed.
MICHAEL:
Okay.
I'll go with you, Michael.
MICHAEL:
Cool.
[indistinct lyrics in distance]
[chuckles]
Does this ever feel like
the longest road trip ever?
Wait until we're hungover
driving back post Blue Light.
-[laughs]
-Shut up.
Don't say that out loud,
Michael.
Just a mark on a stone
where a young man was slain
I've seen this movie.
Hi.
Hi.
Um, I'm sure that you've
heard this before,
but we might be kind of lost.
We'd really appreciate
your help.
Uh, we're headed
to the Blue Light Music Festival
for my girlfriend's birthday.
It's supposed to be pretty cool.
A lot of awesome bands.
Turn around
and go back down the highway.
Cell service is for sh*t,
so Google Maps is worthless.
But if I'm reading
this map correctly,
it looks like this road cuts
directly through here,
which would save us a bunch
of time from backtracking.
Also, uh, we'd love to get
a pretty big dinner order to go.
We have an RV full
of hungry college students.
We're closed.
Looks pretty open to me.
We just need a little bit
of help, dude.
[]
I said we're closed.
I also said for you
to turn around
and go back down the highway.
So help?
It's been given, dude.
Excuse me?
I'm so sorry to interrupt.
Would anyone happen to know
where the road out front
eventually goes?
[]
Really?
No one here speaks English?
[gasps]
Well, Mr. Smith & Wesson do.
And they we said we're closed.
Okay, come on, Michael.
Thank you, sir, for your help.
We're gonna be going.
[door opens]
[laughing]
-Hey, is everything okay?
-g*dd*mn rednecks.
Dude, oh my God.
Hey.
We asked the bartender
for directions,
and he pulled a g*n on us,
and told us to turn around
and get back to the highway.
-What?
-Yeah.
Not leaving them
a good Yelp review.
f*ck him!
I should have kicked
his country fried-a*s!
Hey, baby, hey.
I'm so sorry that happened.
That is so f*cked up.
Let's get out of here, okay?
Maps don't lie.
People do.
Now, this map shows the road
going directly through,
and when we had cell service,
it showed the exact same.
There's nothing left
to talk about.
[]
Alright,
couple of hours on here,
and then we should
hit the interstate.
It's a straight shot from there.
MICHAEL:
King of the road, brother.
Yo, Chris,
you still alive back there?
Deadbeat's still
in stoner slumber.
Knowing him, he'll wake up
just as we get to Blue Light,
little sh*t. [chuckle]
Speaking of, was it, you know--
-Little?
-Yeah.
I don't have a lot
to compare it to.
Oh my God, no, it's huge.
Like an anaconda.
Does hurt a bit.
Hey, how the hell
do you know that?
Oh, please, before
we became a thing,
I played truth or dare
with the whole school
to see everybody's things.
-Oh my God, she did.
-That's some bullshit.
-OLIVIA: Yeah.
-Okay, birthday girl.
-Oh yeah.
-f*ck, marry, k*ll.
-Ooh, okay.
Michael, Jason or Chris?
Oh man, this is
a really hard one.
Um, I'll probably f*ck Chris
because of the whole, you know,
it being huge thing.
-Oh, there's that.
-Watch it there.
Oh, um, and then I'll definitely
marry Michael.
Aw. That's sweet,
that's a good answer.
Yeah, you better
put a ring on it.
And then, Jason, I'm sorry,
I just simply don't know you,
so I'm gonna have to k*ll you.
Logical.
Okay, Carrie, Carrie,
Carrie, Carrie, Carrie, Carrie.
I don't want to play anymore.
You should be nervous.
Uh, f*ck, marry, k*ll.
Okay, oh my God.
-Gabster.
-Yeah!
Sarah.
CARRIE:
Okay.
-And me.
-Ooh.
Yeah, and you guys gotta
act 'em all out.
Oh, f*ck off!
In your dreams, frat boy!
Keep your eyes
on the road, okay?
-Yeah.
-There's precious cargo here.
-GABY: Yeah!
-You got a f*cking cargo.
Yeah.
Um, well, obviously,
right off the bat,
-I would f*ck Gaby.
-Hell yeah!
Ey, ey, ey, ey,
ey, ey, ey, ey!
-Go, go, go!
-Oh my God! [laughing]
OLIVIA:
You're gonna fall, b*tch.
You know, 'cause she seems
like--
Because I'm the only one here
who can make ladies
achieve lift-off.
-She's not wrong!
-The only one.
-GABY: Yeah!
-Man, whatever, whatever.
[all laugh]
As for the rest of you uh...
Marry Olivia, k*ll me.
Right?
-[laugh]
-Okay, hold on.
There are a lot of variables
to consider
between the two of you.
-[The Beast crashes]
-[all scream]
[tires screeching]
-Michael?
-Everyone okay?
The brain dead
could sleep through
a g*dd*mn hurricane back there.
What the f*ck? Did you hit
a deer or something?
I don't-- don't know.
I didn't see anything.
What the f*ck was that?
What do you mean, well,
there was something.
I didn't--
I didn't see anything!
Hey, hey, hey!
Everyone, calm down, chill out.
Take a breath, okay?
Jesus Christ.
Hey, hey, baby, it's really
dark out there, okay?
No one's blaming you.
If we hit something,
we have to check it out.
It could be injured.
-Or it could be a branch.
-JASON: She's right.
Besides, if we did hit an animal
and it's still alive back there,
you do not want to be
waltzing back there
to check on it.
A wounded animal
is the most unpredictable thing.
Well, what if it wasn't
an animal or a branch?
-What if it was a person?
-Oh, Carrie!
Who the hell
is wandering around here
in the middle of the night?
We saw that abandoned car
back there.
[speaks Spanish]
That abandoned car
was forever ago!
Stop talking crazy!
I'm not talking crazy, okay?
We don't know what we ran over.
I think all the options are
still on the table.
MICHAEL:
Look, f*ck this.
I'm not waiting around
to find out what we hit
or didn't.
[engine starting]
Come on. Come on!
sh*t! Goddammit!
This can't be happening.
My uncle's gonna freak
the f*cking sh*t out
and then my dad's
gonna triple it.
Hey, hey, it's okay.
How about you let me
talk to them?
Your uncle loves me.
He will understand.
It's my birthday.
Baby, he doesn't know
I took his RV.
No one does.
What?
Michael, you specifically
told me that you talked--
I know-- I know
what I told you.
Baby, I know what I--
I know what I told you.
But that doesn't mean
it was true.
We needed to find a way to get
to Blue Light for the weekend.
-f*ck this.
-He was out of town on business.
Michael!
So I figured what he didn't know
wouldn't hurt him.
Okay, relax. sh*t happens.
Every single one of you in here
has lied to your family
about something big before.
That's life.
I still have daddy's
black Amex.
It won't matter the cost.
We'll fix it.
The credit card is nice,
but it literally doesn't matter
if we can't reach anyone
to send a tow truck
to wherever we are.
I don't have a signal.
Does anyone have signal?
Like can you check?
-JASON: No, I don't.
-No.
-f*cking great, great.
-No.
Okay, so what--
what are we supposed to do?
We see what we need to do
to get this thing
f*cking running again.
Okay.
-Right?
-CARRIE: Okay.
-He's right.
-Let's go.
-I'll go check it out, Jason.
-What?
-Whoa, whoa!
-Hop in the driver's seat--
-Michael!
-And I'm good. I'm good.
I'll let you know
when to g*n it.
Got it.
Alright, cool.
[kiss]
Will you just be careful,
please?
I survived Hell Week
at my fraternity.
I sure as hell can survive
an empty road at night, baby.
CARRIE:
Um, hey,
maybe you can check on--
MICHAEL:
What I hit?
[door opens and closes]
[insects chirping]
[]
It's all good out here!
Couldn't have been a deer
or even a person.
Not a scratch.
No sign of impact.
It's weird as hell.
[leaves rustling in distance]
[]
It's gotta be a branch.
There's a g*dd*mn
forest out here.
You're welcome, non-doubters.
Okay.
[insects chirping]
[]
Nothing's underneath.
Start her up.
[engine sputters]
What would you do
in Afghanistan
when you had vehicle trouble?
Pray.
Start it again.
[engine sputters, starts]
-[gasps] Yes!
-Yes!
MICHAEL:
Yes!
[cheering]
[Olivia laughing]
[indistinct chatter]
[laughing]
[]
[laughing]
[screaming]
Ah, Michael!
Michael!
Oh my God, Michael.
-Where is Michael?
-I don't know.
He was coming back in
a second ago. Michael!
Olivia, what the hell
are you looking at?
Tell us what you saw.
What happened to Michael?
Stop yelling at her,
she's scared!
I'm going out there.
She's going into shock.
-GABY: f*ck!
-We need to lay her down now.
-SARAH: Okay, no, wait.
-JASON: Clear the couch.
SARAH:
Okay, okay.
Grab that pillow.
Put it under her head.
Right here.
And we need to elevate her feet.
Give me that blanket,
we have to keep her warm.
CARRIE:
It's okay.
[Olivia whimpers]
JASON:
Alright.
She should be fine.
We just need to keep her
wrapped up and watch her.
[scream in distance]
Shh.
Did you guys hear that?
-What?
-What did you hear?
I don't know.
I thought it was some kind
of scream like from far away.
Maybe an animal.
I didn't hear anything.
Jason, did you?
Shh.
[scream in distance]
ENTITY:
Michael!
ENTITY:
Michael!
ENTITY:
Michael!
ENTITY:
Michael!
What the hell?
ENTITY:
Michael!
f*ck this. I'm going out.
No, wait, wait.
We don't know what's out there.
-You shouldn't--
-Michael's out there.
We know that.
GABY:
Whoa, where did you get that?
a*mo box by my seat.
You just reached in
and happened to find a g*n?
No, I planted it there
when I was still plotting
to m*rder you all.
Jesus Christ, I found it
when I was looking for maps.
Give me a break.
ENTITY:
Michael!
[multiple people laughing]
Any more questions?
Or can I go find our friend?
[door opens]
[]
What's he doing?
Scoping it out.
Hey, I didn't mean to lose
my sh*t on Olivia.
How is she?
It's okay. She's resting.
Can someone go check on Chris?
CARRIE:
I'm on it.
Chris.
Chris, you have to wake up.
Chris, wake up!
Wake up, damn it!
This is insane.
Jason?
-Where is he?
-I don't know.
He was standing right there
in front of the windshield.
When I looked back for a second,
he wasn't there.
Jason!
Oh my God!
Hi.
[gasp]
[]
I think I see something
down there.
Be careful.
[]
We officially qualify
as a sh*t show on wheels.
Not how Olivia imagined
her birthday weekend would go.
[]
[leaves rustling]
[person laughing]
JASON:
Michael!
Is that you?
ENTITY:
Michael!
[entity laughing]
[leaves rustling]
[]
JASON:
Michael?
Is that you?
Come on, is that you?
[]
JASON:
I've got a g*n, as*h*le!
And I'm not afraid
to f*cking use it!
I'm not f*cking around here!
Come on!
ENTITY:
[indiscernible speech]
[panting]
[leaves rustling]
[]
JASON:
Oh, are you f*cking kidding me?
Holy f*ck.
[pants]
[screams]
[g*nshots]
Jason.
Get down!
[scream]
[panting]
What the hell?
-Who's Jason sh**ting at?
-I don't know.
How do we know that he's the one
doing the sh**ting?
We have to do something.
Yeah.
Okay.
Wait, Carrie,
where are you going?
What are doing?
Carrie. Carrie.
Something.
You have a better idea?
[]
[screaming]
[pants]
[door creaking]
[screaming]
Run!
[gasping]
f*ck it.
Lock the door!
[screaming]
[indistinct shouting]
[]
[gasping]
[indistinct whisperings]
SARAH:
We need to get the hell
out of here!
-[engine starts]
-Oh, yes!
sh*t!
It's working, it's working,
it's working!
f*ck yeah, go, go, go, go, go!
Go, go ,go!
Yeah, yeah, go! Go, go, go!
Don't you dare get your foot
off that pedal, Sarah, go!
Oh, you can count on that, girl!
-[crashes, tires screeching]
-[gasp]
You've got to be f*cking
kidding me with this sh*t.
-[engine revving]
[-tires spinning]
-Just--
-Okay.
What do you think I'm doing?
Oh, what's going on, what's
going on? Hey! Hey! Hey!
No, Sarah stop reversing.
I'm not!
Something's pulling us!
-[engine roaring]
-[tires screeching]
What the f*ck is pulling us?
There's nothing back here!
Well, then you explain
what the f*ck is happening?
I don't know what's happening!
Why the f*ck?
[engine stops]
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
This isn't possible.
No, we're in the same
exact spot that we were before.
No, no, no, that can't be right.
GABY:
f*ck, apparently it can.
Just try going forward again,
Sarah, go!
[engine sputters]
-It's dead.
-Okay, try again. Try again!
Try it again, Sarah,
just pull it again!
f*cking try it again!
Gaby! Stop it!
[crying]
-She's trying, it's not--
-Oh, nice f*cking tears!
Stop it! It's not her fault,
she's trying!
-I don't wanna die!
-You're not gonna die.
We just need to stay calm
and just-- just stay calm, okay?
Oh, that's a f*cking
genius plan.
You know what?
How about dialing it back
with the attitude a little bit?
We're all in this together,
Gaby.
I'm sorry.
[crying] f*ck!
GABY:
Sorry.
It's okay, it's okay.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, you're okay,
you're fine.
You're okay, you're fine.
[Sarah sobbing]
CARRIE:
Guys.
Guys, the windows.
Oh my God.
[]
I guess they must have closed
when we were--
Dragged back?
Yeah, something like that.
SARAH:
I wish Michael
and Jason were here.
sh*t.
SARAH:
Jason's military background
would be every--
Would do what, Sarah?
Jason had a g*n
and he knew how to use it
and that didn't help him.
Whatever's out there is like--
What if it's them? Hmm?
What, who?
GABY:
Michael and Jason.
f*cking with us,
trying to scare us.
Are you serious?
-GABY: Why not?
-I-- I don't know.
Maybe like a thousand
reasons why not.
First of which,
Michael's girlfriend
is currently catatonic
on the couch.
If they really wanted
to punk us,
that's one seriously messed-up
birthday present for her.
What if she's in on it?
Olivia?
GABY:
Yeah.
Think about it.
Who's the biggest drama queen
and prankster we know?
Loves creating Instagramable
moments for the world to see.
This whole thing could be
one big prank on us.
Oh my God.
No, no, no, Gaby's right.
I mean, think about it.
What do we know?
Michael goes missing
and the only person around
to witness what happened
was Olivia.
Then Michael's roommate
magically finds a g*n,
goes looking for him.
We hear g*nshots,
but none of us see anything.
Except for Jason.
Come back in covered
in what looks to be blood,
but you can buy buckets
of that sh*t online.
No, we literally saw him
get sucked into the void.
We don't know what we saw.
Okay, fine.
But why?
Like to any of this? Why?
Olivia was so excited
to get to Blue Light
as early as we could.
What if we were never going
to Blue Light?
Maybe this whole thing was just
a way to get us in the RV
and on the road.
A road that we're now on thanks
to a map that Jason found.
-Yeah.
-Okay, but I was with Michael
when we showed
the bartender that map.
Ah, but what did
the bartender tell you?
To turn around.
And did we?
No.
No, instead we followed
Michael and Jason
down to whatever rabbit hole
they had planned for us.
They could have come
out here days ago.
-Rigged the whole sh*t.
-Rigged?
It's probably a f*cking
dead end, no traffic.
[sighs]
Perfect spot for a prank.
sh*t.
No, we gotta give them points.
They're good.
And Michael's whole sob story
about stealing this RV
from his uncle.
-All f*cking bullshit.
-All bullshit.
And this would be so messed up
if they really did that.
Or it would be the greatest
birthday prank ever.
Let's say for the sake of
argument that you're right.
Do you really think that
Meryl Streep over there
could keep this act up
the whole time?
Why fake it?
Dr. Feelgood back there
has plenty of stuff
-in his joy bag.
-Oh, yeah, yeah.
We all watched her
take that pill.
Oh, she did that.
She said she didn't know
what it did,
but what if it was
a sleeping pill, you guys?
Sure would help keep
the illusion alive.
-She hasn't moved once.
-You're f*cking right.
Okay.
Even if some
of that makes sense--
Mmhmm.
How can you explain
this RV being pulled back
to the same exact spot
that we were just in?
We just saw that.
Truck winch.
Michael's f*cking truck.
Oh my God.
Michael and Jason come out here
a few days ago,
leave the truck,
then when they go missing,
get in the truck, get the winch,
hook it up, we try to leave,
bam!
Hashtag jokes on us suckers.
SARAH:
Oh my God.
She's good,
she was f*cking good.
No, no, no, no, no.
Gotta flip the narrative, Carre.
Best part of this prank
will be Olivia's face.
When we bust her,
she's gonna love it and hate us.
[chuckle]
Then Michael and Jason
get back on board
and we can finally
go to Blue Light.
It was that much.
So how do we prove
that she's faking it?
What does a girl who can smoke
endless amounts of weed hate?
She gags and vomits.
Just a whiff.
-Remember?
-Cigarette smoke.
-SARAH: Bingo.
-Yeah.
Yeah.
-But none of us smoke anymore.
-Yeah.
What? I thought you said
you quit smoking in high school.
Ooh, shocker, I lied.
-Let's go viral, b*tches.
-Okay.
Okay.
How do I look?
How do I look?
Give it a sec.
[gasp, laugh]
-Ew.
-Look like a rat's nest.
Okay.
I was not ready, okay.
-Okay, you good?
-[clears throat]
-[chuckle] Yes. Yes. Yes.
-Okay.
Go.
[speaks Spanish]
It's your girl Gabster here.
And Sarah C.
And we are in the middle
of f*cking nowhere.
And we're about
to twist this b*tch.
It's been a while
since we've checked on Olivia.
I'm starting
to get very worried.
-She looked really, really sick.
-GABY: I know.
And it's so sad she can't
celebrate her birthday.
Hmm.
What should we do, Sarah?
We let her die and f*ck Michael.
[speaks Spanish]
[lighter flicks]
Busted b*tch!
[laughing]
Wait. She's not reacting.
And she's not that good
of an actress.
[loud thud]
[screams]
[loud thud]
GABY:
What the f*ck?
[screaming]
SARAH:
Oh my God!
Stop!
[gasping]
Help me get that
seatbelt on her.
It'll be safer from whatever.
Gaby, you want to help?
SARAH:
Gaby.
GABY:
Chris, get up,
you dumb worthless f*ck!
Chris!
Get the f*ck up!
Get up! Stop f*cking around!
Chris? Chris, honey? Chris?
Guys? Guys!
Something's wrong with Chris!
Come here now!
-SARAH: What did he take?
-GABY: I don't know.
-What didn't he take?
-Jesus Christ.
-Chris.
-Hey honey, can you hear me?
Hey, Chris, can you hear me?
You guys help me put him
on his side, okay?
-SARAH: Okay.
-GABY: One...
-Two, three.
-Two, three.
Go! Go! Go!
Up, up, up.
Okay, now it's okay.
-Molly, ecstasy, Adderall?
-Jesus.
GABY:
Chris, I swear to God,
if you f*cking die,
I'll f*cking k*ll you!
Wake up!
[Chris coughing]
Get it out. That's good.
Get it out.
Okay, okay, okay.
Good job. Good job. Good job.
Okay, you're okay.
Hey, baby.
Hey, baby.
I had the craziest dream.
Did you? Yeah?
And you were there.
And you.
And you.
It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay.
Michael and Jason weren't there.
They're dead.
[]
How did he know that?
He had to have
heard us talking.
Okay, but what are
we gonna do now?
We don't have the luxury
of passing out.
We can't just sit here
on our asses, guys.
No, that's exactly
what we should do.
We don't know what's out there.
CARRIE:
We know all the dead animals
are in here.
What if that's it?
What if it was an animal?
A bear?
I don't know if a bear
could pull us back,
but the rest of the sh*t
it could have done.
It would have to be
a pack of bears.
Okay.
Or a pack
of pissed-off truckers.
No way.
We lost those asshats
a long time ago.
What if we didn't?
They're truckers.
They probably know every
back road around this place.
They don't know our route.
Nobody does. Not even us.
Back at the Roadhouse.
We made it clear exactly
where we were going
-and which road we were taking.
-Are you hearing yourself?
Captain KKK
and his sidekick Little Adolf
were never at the Roadhouse.
I think that I might have
seen their truck
pulling into the parking lot
as we were leaving.
GABY:
What?
Carrie, why wouldn't you
tell us this?
Oh my God. It happened so fast,
and it was-- it was dark,
and I just saw their taillights
as we were pulling out,
and I figured that
if I said anything,
you guys would have
just called me crazy again, so--
SARAH:
Yes, and we would have
been right to call you crazy.
Are you kidding me?
You have no idea what you saw
other than some random lights
on a random truck
at a random diner.
They could have tracked us down.
That place could have been
filled with people they knew.
Maybe they even called ahead
and told them
to look out for us.
That would explain their creepy
behavior towards us.
I'm not buying it.
It's as good an explanation
as bears
or a non-existent prank?
Maybe it wasn't a prank.
Maybe it was Jason.
Think about it.
We know, no sh*t about him
except for he's sketchy as f*ck.
We've seen his violent side
and he's the only one
currently with a g*n.
Jason's a good guy.
Okay, well a lot
of good guys come back
from w*r with PTSD, Carrie.
He could have been a ticking
time b*mb waiting to explode.
The last thing he said
to us was run.
He wanted us to leave
the safety of our RV.
It would have been open
hunting grounds for him.
I'm sorry,
you're being paranoid.
I'm not f*cking being paranoid!
Carrie is the only one allowed
to have the right answer.
-Always.
-You know what?
-I didn't say that.
-You didn't have to!
You were always smarter than
the rest of us dumb b*tches!
-Right?
-Oh God, guys, stop!
We don't know sh*t about sh*t.
The only thing we do know
is we have each other.
And until we get
on the other side
of whatever the f*ck this is,
we better act like
the lifelong friends
we've been pretending to be.
OLIVIA:
Yes, I understand.
Olivia? What the f*ck?
Olivia, who are you talking to?
Okay, I will. I promise.
Olivia, we need your phone
right now to call for help.
If she has signal,
we should all have signal.
Check your phones. Call 911.
-CARRIE: What the f*ck?
-I've got nothing.
No, me neither.
I don't see anything.
Olivia?
Olivia! What?
She couldn't have just vanished.
She was right there.
[phone rings]
as*h*le!
I knew this was a setup.
Michael, what the hell
is go--
OLIVIA: (On phone)
Michael, what the hell is--
Stop it. Who is this?
OLIVIA: (On phone)
Stop it. Who is this?
What do you want?
OLIVIA: (On phone)
f*ck, marry, k*ll.
Olivia. [groans]
-Oh my God.
-f*ck this.
-[groans]
-Oh my God, Gaby!
You're okay, you're okay.
Come on. Come on.
GABY:
We're getting Olivia.
I'm not leaving her out there!
-Okay, okay, okay! Let's go.
-CARRIE: Be careful, be careful.
SARAH:
Come on. Let's go.
GABY:
Why the f*ck isn't it opening?
SARAH:
Hey! Hey!
Hey, hey, hey, stop, stop, stop!
Whoever is doing this
doesn't want us to leave.
Can't you see that? Enough.
Olivia! Olivia!
[honking]
GABY:
Olivia.
What the hell is she doing?
-Olivia. Olivia! Come back!
-Olivia! [indistinct speech]
-Olivia! No!
-What the f*ck are you doing?
Olivia!
[indistinct yelling]
[honking]
[]
-Where are you going?
-Olivia!
-Olivia, I swear to god!
-Olivia!
-Olivia, stop!
-GABY: What are you doing?
OLIVIA:
Michael? Michael?
Michael?
I came.
Alone. Just like you asked.
What is she doing?
Who the hell is she talking to?
Everything's gonna be okay.
We can be together again.
Michael?
GABY:
Where the f*ck did that fog
come from?
-Olivia!
-Olivia!
GABY:
Turn around!
SARAH:
Olivia, turn around!
Olivia!
MICHAEL:
Olivia. Come on.
Come on this side.
OLIVIA:
Michael?
-MICHAEL: Olivia.
-[chuckles]
OLIVIA:
Michael, I can see you now.
MICHAEL:
[indistinct speech]
Happy birthday to you
OLIVIA:
Michael?
MICHAEL AND OTHERS:
Happy birthday to you
OLIVIA:
Michael, Michael, what--
what's-- what's going on?
Michael? Michael?
MICHAEL AND OTHERS:
Happy birthday, dear Olivia
OLIVIA:
Stop! Stop, just--
No, just get away from me!
Leave me alone! No!
[sobs]
MICHAEL AND OTHERS:
Happy death day to you
[cries, pants]
[sniffles] No!
Get away from me!
Get away from me!
[sobs]
Olivia!
Where did she go?
Oh, I can't see her.
I can't see her.
[sobs]
Attagirl!
-Come on, Olivia. [laughs]
-Come on.
[pants]
f*ck you!
[pants]
Come on, Olivia.
Let me in, guys!
Guys, open the door!
Guys, let me in!
CARRIE:
Olivia, keep running!
OLIVIA:
Open the door!
What is happening?
Guys! Open the door! Please!
Gaby, open the door!
Let me in.
Open the door!
[screams]
Please help me! Gaby!
Screw this.
Sarah, stop!
She is not opening
that f*cking door!
You think Olivia is out there,
then who the hell
is on that road?
OLIVIA:
Gaby, open the door! Let me in!
-Gaby, let me in! Let me in!
-What if it's her?
It's not her, Gaby!
Look, dammit!
OLIVIA:
Open the door, Gaby!
Guys, let me in! Please!
[sobs]
OLIVIA:
Please guys, open the door.
Please. Please.
Gaby. Please. Open the door.
Open the door.
She didn't just vanish.
She must have got confused
and wandered
into the woods, right?
She-- she'll be--
she'll be back.
Sure, with Michael and Jason.
[sighs]
We should have done more
to help her.
There was nothing that we could
have done, Carrie.
GABY:
We could have never pissed off
those truck drivers.
We could have just stayed
on the highway.
We could have turned around.
We were told to turn around.
We could have never come
on this f*cking trip!
We could have never stayed
friends after high school.
We could have
never stayed friends
after we did
really f*cking shitty things
to each other.
Oh no, there's a hell of a lot
we could have done
to not get us to the exact point
of being hunted and k*lled!
Shoulda, coulda, woulda, Gaby.
-God, Sarah!
-Okay, you know what?
We're here now.
The past doesn't matter.
And if we want
to make it through,
whatever this is,
we have to work harder
at workin' together, right?
Oh, f*ck, Carrie.
Oh my God. What, seriously?
Are you hungry
after what just happened?
Of course
I'm not f*cking hungry, Carrie!
But if I don't get a drink
to calm my f*cking nerves,
there's nothing stopping me
from going outside,
finding that g*n, and blowing
my g*dd*mn brains out
to make the fear stop!
Pour me a double of whatever.
You got it.
We-- we still don't know
what happened to them,
to any of them.
-For all we know, they could--
-Jack sh*t.
That's all we f*cking know.
SARAH:
Jack f*cking sh*t.
Yeah. Yeah.
Here's to steadying the nerves.
To our friends.
And each other.
GABY:
Salut.
[slurps, gulps]
-Holy f*ck! Oh. Ew.
-Oh my God.
SARAH:
Oh my God.
This might be worse
than whatever is out there.
Back to
the million-dollar question.
What the hell is out there?
[]
GABY:
Is it watching us right now?
When my grandpa died,
he left the family fortune
to my dad and his older brother,
my Uncle Josh.
Anyone would tell you
that Uncle Josh
was the real genius
in the family.
I--
I don't think that we met him.
No, you didn't.
Um, because my loving father
used every trick in the book
to cut him out
of his inheritance
and our lives.
GABY:
What the f*ck did he do?
He had the ba*ls to come back
from a camping trip one summer
and tell us that
he saw something in the woods.
So, what did he see?
Daddy dearest wouldn't tell us.
He said that my uncle
was a crazy drunk,
and that crazy drunks
can't be near the money.
-The point is...
-GABY: Wow.
...Bigfoot, ghosts, UFOs,
there is just some sh*t
in the world
-that you cannot explain.
-Yeah.
CARRIE:
So, is that what you think
is going on here?
We're being stalked by
like some k*ller Bigfoot.
Parked the RV on
an ancient Indian burial ground.
Carre.
CARRIE:
Being attacked
by vengeful spirits.
Invading aliens
abducted our friends.
We're next.
-SARAH: Why not?
-GABY: Yeah.
You take your pick.
When we were kids,
the government told us
that UFOs did not exist.
Now, they can't stop talking
about 'em.
I mean, what else
are they hiding from us?
Scared that our fragile
human minds
can't handle the truth.
-GABY: Yeah.
-Right?
Yeah. No, my abuelita,
when she was a little girl,
the elders in her village,
they forbid her
and anyone else
from going near the river.
They said that an insane woman
had butchered up
her entire family,
chopped them up
into little pieces
and fed them to the fish
in the river, poisoning it.
No one could eat from it
or drink from it.
So, the elders find this woman,
this bruja,
this witch.
And they tie her down with rocks
and drown her.
So, my abuelita,
when she was a teenager,
she's with her friends,
and they're closer to the river
than they should've been.
[Sarah chuckling]
And they hear a scream.
[]
So piercing.
So inhuman.
They run.
Never looking back.
And finally, my abuela,
she turns around
and she's the only one left.
And they never
found her friends.
[Gaby sniffles]
SARAH:
We should just stay here.
And the sun should be up
in a couple of hours.
And whatever is out there
is not in here with us.
This is the safest place.
Maybe.
I mean, eventually a car
has to come by.
What if it's a dead end?
What if it's not?
[knock on the door]
No. No.
[Sarah pants]
[shushes]
[pants]
[sobs]
[knocking on the door]
[all screaming]
Stop! Stop!
[cries]
SARAH:
[indistinct speech]
[all screaming]
No!
[all screaming]
Okay, okay, okay.
Guys! Guys, we need--
we need weapons.
Yeah.
Find anything, okay? Go!
-Okay, okay.
-Go, now! Go!
[pants]
f*ck yeah.
[screams]
Oh, Carrie! Fire! Fire!
Oh my God!
[screams]
[Sarah panting]
Safety first, ladies.
Fire.
Dead snakes.
Trip of a lifetime.
[pants]
You hear that?
I don't hear anything.
Exactly. It's gone.
Maybe. For now, but...
-Now's the perfect time.
-For what?
For one of us to go get help.
Are you insane?
We're not leaving.
CARRIE:
Yeah, no, Sarah's right.
We're staying put.
No, I hear you guys.
Which is why I'm gonna go.
You have a jacked up leg.
You really think
you could outrun
whatever the hell is out there?
I think with one good leg,
I'm the fastest one here
by a mile.
CARRIE:
Gaby, you're in pain.
You're literally popping Advil
like candy.
What about the RICE diet?
Rest, ice, compression,
elevation?
That was recently changed
to "run, I can escape."
Look, Gaby, we appreciate
you wanting to do this for us,
but if we just wait--
God, then we f*cking die, Sarah.
I'm not gonna sit here on my a*s
and let that happen.
Guys, look, I train
for cross-country events 24/7.
That's what my body
was built to do.
The moment I'm out that door,
I'm running.
I'll change courses
if I hear anything
from road to woods,
but I'm not stopping
until I bring us back help
-or anything, alright?
-No, no, no, Gaby.
GABY:
This is not up for discussion,
you guys!
The longer we sit here
and talk about this,
the sooner
whatever the f*ck that is
comes back.
-You don't have to do this.
-Yes, I f*cking do, Carrie.
-No.
-GABY: Yes, I do.
I may not always like you guys,
but I will always love you.
[sighs]
Take care of him.
He may be a dumbass stoner,
but he's our dumbass stoner,
okay?
-Okay.
-CARRIE: Of course we will.
Thank you.
[sobs]
All right.
The second I'm gone,
you barricade that door
with whatever you can find,
'cause when I come back,
I am bringing back the cavalry.
-Yeah.
-And you'll know it's me. Okay?
SARAH:
Okay, okay, okay.
It's okay.
[Sarah sobs]
[praying in Spanish]
Amen.
[takes deep breaths]
Later, b*tches.
[door opens]
GABY:
No!
She was here.
She was here the whole time.
It's impossible. We looked.
She was begging,
and pleading,
and screaming for us
to let her in,
and we didn't.
We f*cking ignored her!
CARRIE:
No, Gaby, none of this
makes any sense.
We-- we saw her.
She was in front of us.
Maybe-- maybe whatever did this
um, attacked her
and then dragged her back here.
And did that?
Oh my-- [gasps]
GABY:
We k*lled her.
We k*lled our friend.
And one of you
can tell her parents
we let their only child,
who was begging for our help
until her very last breath, die.
We never even tried.
Shut the door.
[crying]
What did we do!
SARAH: Hey, hey, hey! Hey!
-Sarah, what did we do?
-Hey! Hey!
We survived!
That is what we did!
You saw her as clear as day.
She was never at that door.
And if we plan on living,
we'll do what Gaby said
and lock this place down now!
-You hear me?
-Yeah.
Come on!
[]
I can't stop thinking
about Olivia.
Well, try.
-It's not our fault.
-[sighs]
If we'd have
just opened the door--
Then we all would have died.
Do you really think she would
have opened the door for you?
Because trust me,
she wouldn't have.
Bullshit.
She was our friend.
Do not paint me
to be the villain here.
I never once abandoned her.
She picked the college, I went.
She chose our dorm,
I signed up.
She picked our sorority,
I joined.
She chose our major,
I said, "Sure."
She was my ride or die.
But we didn't think
we meant that literally.
And you wanna know
the irony of it?
Olivia would
constantly remind me
that there was not
a single situation
I couldn't buy my way out of.
And now, she's not even here
to see how wrong she was.
This is one check I cannot cash.
You have plenty
of other qualities
besides spending
your dad's money.
Thanks.
I'll just sit here
waiting to die
and reflect on all of them.
Stop.
You're ten times smarter
than you let on.
I hate
that you can make me laugh.
And I've never met a guy
who doesn't lust after you.
Including dads and teachers.
[chuckles]
I think you wrote that
in my yearbook.
No.
I wrote that you're a mean-a*s
lying b*tch in an easy way.
[chuckles]
-Right.
-CARRIE: Right.
Savage.
[Sarah chuckles, gasps]
SARAH:
Okay, uh, that's what
we were lacking right there.
Creepy-a*s ambiance.
CARRIE:
What if we--
No, no, no, just--
Power just died.
Old RV.
I can't see.
SARAH:
Yeah.
CARRIE:
i'll get a flashlight.
Turn it off.
We need to save our batteries.
[lighter flicks]
Let's hope
Gaby finds some help.
And help finds us soon.
I can't remember her
ever not succeeding
at something
she set out to do.
[chuckles]
Cool.
Now, I'm just gonna calmly
relight these candles.
Okay.
And pretend this dumpster
fire of a night
is not actually happening.
CARRIE:
Yeah.
If we make it out of this,
do you think--
When.
Okay, when.
When we make it out of this,
do you think anyone
will believe us?
Would you?
[screams]
That's disturbing.
There must be a camera mounted
around here somewhere.
If so, where are you?
CARRIE:
What the hell?
[both scream]
Actual f*ckity f*ck f*ck.
-Oh, my God!
-Oh, my God!
CHRIS:
Did I miss something?
-SARAH: Hi.
-CHRIS: Hey!
It's all good, ladies.
Your boy is gonna replenish
the old electrolytes
and then there'll be plenty
of Chris to enjoy.
[chuckles]
CHRIS:
What the f*ck?
Y'all make some
interesting life choices.
Are we already at Blue Light?
No.
All right, all right.
I'm jelly, god damn!
Looks like I missed the rager.
Maybe I'll just get the 401
from the others.
Um, it's--
It's just us, Chris.
Right, then.
I'll just kick back,
with y'all and relax then.
No rush. Take some me time.
Ah, read a good book.
The Black Arts.
Ooh.
Looks like a good book
for kids about Satan.
[]
That must have belonged
to Michael's uncle.
The Book of Forbidden Knowledge,
Demonology.
The Grimora, Aleistair Crowley,
Sign of the Beast?
Oh, my God.
Do you think that this
is related to what's happening?
It's a hell of a coincidence
if it's not.
Y'all playing some I'm light
as a feather,
stiff as a board,
paranormal spooky sh*t
without me?
We were never supposed
to see any of this.
Michael stole the Beast.
Do y'all remember
Olivia's birthday party
where we broke out
that Ouija board?
It's almost like we were marked
from the beginning.
All right.
Clearly I'm still dreaming.
We are stranded in the middle
of nowhere.
Michael is missing,
Jason is missing.
Olivia is dead,
Gaby risked her life
to go get us help,
and something out there
that we can't explain
is responsible for all of it.
[laughs]
I see what's happening here,
bruh.
This is one big joke!
One big old joke on Chris.
Good one. I deserve it.
Scared straight,
lesson learned,
because I went
all snoop D-O-G-G on the trip.
No, believe us, Chris,
nothing would make us happier
than to tell you that this
has all been one big joke.
Where's the evidence?
Show me the proof.
Are you kidding me?
Look around this place.
Did you think
while you were passed out
we just turned into
Lord of the Flies?
You got video?
-No!
-No!
-You ain't got video?
-No.
See, this is how it
always goes down.
Someone sees something
and can't explain it,
and then can't get
actual footage of it,
and then even if they do,
it's on some shaky bullshit,
and there is no proof,
and there's no truth.
Chris, either you believe us
or you don't,
but unless Gaby comes back
with the army to rescue us,
there's a very good chance that
we're all gonna die out here.
[growling in background]
What the f*ck?
[loud thud]
[]
[all scream]
[pants]
I'm sorry you woke up.
Is it gone?
Tell me it's gone.
The attacks come in waves.
Then we better surf
the f*ck out of here.
The RV isn't moving.
Michael and Jason--
They're idiots!
I need whatever tools
we can find.
Do you know anything about
fixing cars, trucks, RVs?
Hurtful, offensive, and r*cist.
No, I-- I'm pretty sure
that's a fair question.
I haven't even seen you
drive a car, Chris.
You judge a book
by its cover much?
Do you have a driver's license?
No, I don't.
But I can build an engine
in my sleep.
I'm getting my f*cking degree
in mechanical engineering.
You go to college?
If you consider a full ride
to MIT goin' to college,
then yeah, you do.
That's amazing.
Why didn't you tell us?
Are you f*cking kidding me
with this sh*t right now?
Fine! How come you never asked?
Now, let all that
"bad friend woke" guilt sh*t
wash all over you while you're
getting me some tools!
Now, go!
CARRIE:
[indistinct speech]
[]
CHRIS:
Come on, man!
-CARRIE: Okay. Um, here.
-CHRIS: Huh, dammit!
CARRIE:
[indistinct speech]
[pants, grunts]
Oh! Yes! Oh, Chris!
[chuckles]
Oh!
Okay, so, one of us
has to still go outside
and finish the job.
And based on the applicants,
I seem to be the one of us
I'm talking about.
So, any questions?
Is there another way?
You could change majors.
-All right.
-Um, Chris, wait.
When we told you
that Olivia died,
we didn't tell you where.
Just don't stop. Don't look.
Just go. Okay?
Um, here, take this knife.
You're really gonna need it.
[]
[gasps, retches]
Let's see what's going on here.
Hey, start her up!
[engine sputters]
CHRIS:
What?
No, no.
Where the f*ck are my tools?
What the hell?
I did not sign up for this sh*t.
How we doin' out there, Chris?
Chris?
I can't see him, Carrie!
Chris!
[pants]
Chris!
You have to talk to me!
[screams]
Chris? Chris!
[pants]
Oh my God! Oh my God!
Oh, Chris.
Um, okay, uh,
this is gonna hurt like hell,
okay?
f*ck-- f*ck-- f*ck no!
Don't do it!
-I'm gonna pull the knife out.
-No, no, no!
-In three...
-Oh God.
-...two...
-f*ck! One!
What the f*ck?
You forgot to say "one"!
You want me to put it back
and give you a better--
-No!
-Warning?
[grunts, pants]
f*ck. Here we go.
Here we go, Chris!
Chris, hold on to it.
Here we go. Here we go.
Here we go. Here we go.
You're okay!
You're okay, you're okay.
[groans]
-What happened?
-f*ck. I don't know.
I don't know what happened.
I don't wanna know. I--
I wanna get the hell
out of here, please.
-Okay. Okay, come on.
-[groans]
[pants]
-Okay, I need your knife.
-Knife.
-And your light.
-Okay. Light.
Give me. All right.
-I got the light.
-All right.
-Can you see?
-Okay. Yeah.
-Okay.
-Hold the light steady, damn it!
I am.
Oh, sh*t.
CARRIE:
Breathe. Just breathe.
It's gonna be okay.
-CHRIS: Okay.
-CARRIE: It's gonna be okay.
[grunts]
Hoo!
-[grunts]
-CARRIE: Yeah.
Okay. Start it up, Sarah!
[engine sputters]
-[engine starts]
-Yes! Yes!
-Yes!
-Wooh, yes!
Let's get the hell
out of here!
CHRIS:
Yes! Let's go.
Yeah!
-MIT, m*therf*cker! Go, Beavers!
-CARRIE: That's right!
[both chuckle]
[engine sputters]
Oh no, sh*t.
We're out of gas.
Are you kidding me right now?
Wait, wait, there's a
spare gas tank in the back.
I saw Jason fill it up.
Okay, then let's hit it
and quit it.
Gas tank in the back!
Yay.
In the back.
[both pant]
[]
-[banging]
-[yells]
OLIVIA:
Let me in! Help me.
Open the f*cking door!
Let me in. Open the door!
Guys, open the door!
Open the door! Please help me.
Oh, please.
Guys, open the door!
Open the door!
[screams]
[]
We should pretend
that that is not blood
and that is not there.
OLIVIA:
Help! Please! Please!
No! [screams]
Sorry I didn't ask
about college.
You didn't ask about
my dad dying either.
-Oh my God, Chris.
-Not God. Cancer.
I watched him die
over, and over, and over again,
until finally it was just over.
I should've been there for you.
[scoffs]
What would you have done?
Huh?
You think you
could've stopped death's plan?
If your number's up, it's up.
[screams]
[pants]
Oh sh*t! I'm not enjoying
this trip!
-[screams]
-OLIVIA: Please, help me!
Please, help me.
Open the f*cking door!
[screams]
f*ck! Do you know
the passcode?
No, no, no, no.
It's in there. Well, this is it.
Come on. Oh, f*ck!
[screams]
[]
[both grunt]
[yells]
CARRIE:
The knife!
CHRIS:
Forget about it.
We got what we needed.
-CARRIE: Okay.
-CHRIS: This baby's full.
CARRIE:
Come on.
SARAH:
Go away. Get away from me!
CARRIE:
No!
SARAH:
Go away! Go away! Get away!
-What is it?
-We're screwed. It melted.
No, no, no, no.
We can bypass it.
SARAH:
Stop! Go away!
No! Go away! I will hurt you!
[gasps]
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
I-- I'-- I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to.
-I didn't mean to.
-Oh my God, are you-- are you--
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
Hey. Hey, it's gonna--
it's gonna be okay.
We're gonna get out of here.
[groans]
Sorry.
We-- we have to wrap it.
-We have to wrap it really good.
-Hey, hey.
Alcohol, alcohol, alcohol.
We need to clean it.
-Okay, okay.
-We need to clean it.
SARAH:
I'm sorry. You're gonna
hate me so much more.
[groans, screams]
Carrie?
Carre--
Carre!
Carrie, Sarah?
Carrie! Carrie! Sarah!
We have to open the door.
Chris needs the knife
for the gas tank.
No, what if it's not Chris?
Remember what happened
to Olivia?
Yeah.
A car. There's a car.
Look. Oh my God.
Gaby, she made it.
Chris! Chris, look!
There's a car!
It could be Gaby!
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, my God.
That's what I'm talkin' about!
Hey, we're gonna make it.
We're gonna make it.
We're gonna make it.
Gaby.
CHRIS:
Hey!
Hey, right here!
Right here! Hurry!
[Carrie pants]
I di-- I didn't mean
to stab you, I swear.
I know.
It was-- it was dark
and-- and I couldn't see.
There was-- there was blood
and-- and this shadow.
No, no.
Something coming
towards me and--
CARRIE:
It just plays--
It plays tricks on us.
It tries to make us believe.
sh*t.
Oh, God.
Chris! Chris!
Come on! We got a bunch
of injured people!
Mainly me!
Come on,
get us the hell out of here!
-SARAH: No!
-CARRIE: No!
CARRIE:
Oh my God! Chris!
-[honking]
-SARAH: Chris, hey, Chris!
[overlapping speech]
Where'd she go?
[chuckles] My God.
Don't scare me like that!
Very funny, Gaby.
Gaby?
CARRIE:
I can't see Chris at all.
Huh, I-- I think I'll just go
and wait for you
back at the big old Beast, yeah.
[car roaring]
-Hey, hey!
-Chris! Chris, run!
[Sarah and Carrie screaming]
CARRIE:
Oh my God!
[car roaring]
CHRIS:
Oh sh*t!
CARRIE:
Chris, run, dammit!
Chris, run!
[yells]
CARRIE:
Faster, Chris!
[screams]
-[loud crash]
-[glass shatters]
Chris.
-[]
-[both sob]
[chokes]
[groans, sobs]
[]
Why is this happening to us?
Maybe it's not just us.
Maybe this is happening
all over the world right now.
Like the gates of hell
just opened up
and swallowed us all.
So what?
Even if we survive, we--
we've nowhere to go.
Cursed for all eternity.
Let's just survive this.
[grunts]
Careful.
Oh, hell.
-How long was I out?
-You needed to sleep.
What are we gonna do?
Clearly that's not up to us.
We can't just give up.
Hey.
What do you think
is a better way to die?
Fast in a blink?
Or a long, drawn out death
like the cancer
that k*lled Chris's dad?
I don't know.
I think that either version is--
Wait.
Chris told you about his dad?
He didn't have to.
[screams]
[chokes]
Carrie.
[chokes]
Carrie, Carrie, stop, stop!
What are you doing? Carrie!
[screams]
[pants]
-What is happening?
-I think you passed out.
You must have been having
a nightmare or something.
-No, stop. Get off me.
-SARAH: Hey, easy, easy.
Hey, easy.
I'm not gonna stab you again.
Promise.
SARAH:
Shocker. I lied.
[grunts]
[screams]
Stop!
What are you doing, Carrie?
Stop!
Hey!
Sarah.
-I'm so sorry. I--
-It's okay. It's okay.
I didn't know
what was happening.
SARAH:
I know.
ROSE: (On radio)
The people on the bus
Die one by one
One by one
One by one
CARRIE:
Oh my God, Oh my God. No, no.
ROSE: (On radio)
The people on the bus
Die one by one
CARRIE:
Stop!
We are not
gonna let it beat us!
[screams, pants]
CARRIE:
Oh my God.
[pants]
[]
It's gonna be okay.
We're gonna make it.
You have a tattoo.
What?
Oh, that?
What about it?
It's a pentagram.
It's a star. It's silly.
I got it on a night out
with friends.
No, it's a pentagram. Like this.
It's just a simple star.
Look.
ROSE: (On radio)
The people on the bus
What the-- No, no, no, no.
What is this?
What is happening?
We have to get out of here.
I'm not leaving.
That thing is out there.
No. That thing is in here.
And it's going to k*ll us.
We start running now
and we don't stop
until we see sunrise, Sarah.
SARAH:
I-- I-- I can't.
We have to go. Now.
I'm not going without you.
We need each other, okay?
I'm not ready to die yet.
Are you?
No.
We run, we live!
-The people on the bus
-[screams]
Die one by one
One by one
One by one
The people on the bus
Die one by one
-[Carrie screaming]
-[blood squelches]
No! [sobs]
ROSE: (On radio)
The people on the bus
Die one by one
One by one
One by one
One by one
One by one
One by one
One by one
One by one
One by one
One by one
One by one
One by one
One by one
One by one
One by one
One by one
-One by one
-[screams, groans]
Oh, no!
Die one by one
[sobs]
CARRIE:
No. No.
[pants]
[]
Oh, thank God!
[pants]
[]
[truck horn blares]
Die one by one
On the interstate
Won't hit the brakes
Leave my mistakes,
I've got what it takes
And I won't wait
On the interstate
I'm wide awake,
still feeling great
-Blue light or bust?
-Yeah!
It's so crazy to me
that people just ditch
their rides in the middle
of the road.
What do you think
happened to them?
Clearly looking
at all the evidence,
there's only one solution.
The boogie man got them!
[laugh together]
-Blue light! Blue light!
-Blue light! Blue light!
-Blue light! Blue light!
-Blue light! Blue light!
-Blue light! Blue light!
-Blue light! Blue light!
-Blue light! Blue light!
-Blue light! Blue light!
Blue light...
[]
You bring the devil
You bring the devil
You bring the devil
Up in me
You bring the devil
You bring the devil
You bring the devil
Up in me
I can't keep it down, no
I can't keep it down, no, no
I can't keep it down, no, no
No, oh, here it comes
MAN 1: (On TV)
m*rder is not about lust
and it's not about violence.
It-- it's about possession.
When you feel that
last breath of life coming out,
you look into their eyes.
At that point it's being God.
One side of me says, "I'd like
to talk to them, date them."
The other side says, "I wonder
how their head would look like
on a stick." [chuckles]
MAN 1: (On TV)
And then another side of me
wonders,
"What if their hands?
What if they were lobsters?"
Sometimes I-- I feel like I need
to go wash my eyes out with--
WOMAN 1: (On TV)
They are gonna sell out fast.
It's our seventh shipment
of the Shelly Stoker Baby Doll.
So lifelike.
You'll think it's a beautiful,
real baby.
Our customers
just love the exclusive dolls
crafted by our award-winning
master doll artist,
handcrafted
with the finest materials,
like Capodimonte vine--
MAN 2: (On TV)
Whiz-bang extras
to earn its place
as one of
our all-time favorites.
The living
has a measured rise angle,
capable of prying up
clay and heavy soils
in record time!
The large, textured step
is helpful in crunching--
WOMAN 2: (On TV)
Gut your prize
as cleanly as possible.
So, you're gonna wanna
roll the creature onto its back,
so the stomach is parallel
with the angle of your knife.
They key is not
to cut too deep into the stomach
so you don't risk
slicing the intestines
by accident.
But you do wanna make sure
that the incision is
large enough to insert.
MAN 3: (On TV)
Pray that you wanna live
in biblical times.
Well, praise the Lord, you all!
You have been selected.
You are now
the true chosen people.
You are the new tribe of Israel.
You are experienced
in the almighty tribulation.
You can taste the blood.
KIRSTEN: (On TV)
Kirsten G. I'm 21.
I'm from Sunny San Diego,
California.
I'm currently a kindergarten
teacher's assistant,
and I teach tantric yoga
to the elderly and the blind.
When I'm not downward dogging,
you can find me rollerblading
and skateboarding.
My nana's my hero,
and she taught me
to push through hardships.
She was born
with a lateral lisp,
and it never
slowed her dreams down
to become an actuary.
I live by the--
ROSE: (On TV)
The people on the bus
Die one by one
One by one
One by one
The people on the bus
Die one by one
All through the town
[]
[crowd cheering]
-Blue light! Blue light!
-Blue light! Blue light!
-Blue light! Blue light!
-MAN: God.
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Don't Turn Out the Lights (2023)
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