01x04 - Saturday Night on Sunset Boulevard

[bunniefuu]

♪ Look at what's
happened to me. ♪

♪ I can't believe it myself. ♪

♪ Suddenly I'm up
on top of the world. ♪

♪ It should've been
somebody else. ♪

♪ Believe it or not, ♪

♪ I'm walking on air. ♪

♪ I never thought I
could feel so free. ♪

♪ Flying away on a
wing and a prayer. ♪

♪ Who could it be? ♪

♪ Believe it or
not, it's just me. ♪

♪ Just like the
light of a new day. ♪

♪ It came from out of the blue ♪

♪ breaking me out
of the spell I was in, ♪

♪ making all of my
wishes come true ♪

♪ Believe it or not
I'm walking on air. ♪

♪ I never thought I
could feel so free ♪

♪ flying away on a
wing and a prayer. ♪

♪ Who could it be? ♪

♪ Believe it or
not it's just me. ♪

♪ Once upon a time
two worlds collided. ♪

♪ Two different kinds
of people fell in love. ♪

♪ But everywhere they
went they had to hide it. ♪

♪ In candlelit cafes, they
dreamed of better days ♪

♪ And happy endings
once upon a time. ♪

♪ Now they meet in
dark and secret places, ♪

♪ with barely time
enough to say goodbye. ♪

♪ The love they long to
share is on their faces. ♪

♪ He holds her as she cries, ♪

♪ Consoles her with his eyes ♪

♪ And dies a little
once upon a time. ♪

♪ Once upon a time. ♪

- This is Carlisle, we made him.

He's on the southeast corner,
he's heading right to you.

Now take it easy, don't rush it.

We need to talk to both of them.

That's a roger.

Units six and eight are rolling.

Keep an eye out for
the Russian Suicide team

they could be on him, too.

- We've got it
covered, thank you.

That's the one.

- Wait for him to
meet with the girl.

We need the girl.

- Theresa.

This is unit eight,
they are together.

- We're on our way.

Clean up the
spaghetti, let's go.

- Mi amor, are you okay?

- I'm fine.

- Oh, thank god.

- You?

Nobody hurt.

- I was so worried.

When you left, I not
know where to go to.

- My government force me to try

to take over your business.

I could not.

I love you.

I don't want your
money. I'm so sorry.

- That's okay.
Look, we run away.

They'll never find us
and we'll be together.

- I'm so glad to find
you, so very glad.

I cannot live without you.

- F.B.I. Mr. Valenkov,
you're under arrest.

You and Mrs. Valenkov.

Take it easy please,
just come with us.

- Sergei, we cannot
run forever. We can't.

We must stop some time.

- Run! Hurry!

- Go!

- Lousy Russians!

- Theresa!

- Sergei! Sergei!

Oh, Sergei. Sergei.

- Commies.

Hey, I was in that slot.

What's the matter with
you? This ain't Moscow.

- It is, I understand,
a free country, no?

You look for another place.

- You guys really blew
it in Egypt, you know?

- Keeps the Russians
in the waiting room.

Tell the director
they're downstairs

and get the C.I.A. out of here!

It's not their case
or their building.

Oh, boy. Billy the Kid
Maxwell. Get out of here!

You're not cleared.
This is a security floor.

- How's the hotdog
business, Norm?

You still slopping the
mustard on your shoes?

- Hellinger, do you want to
get somebody on the elevator?

We've got grade two security
jerks wandering around up here.

Sorry Norm, we're
just setting up.

- Sounds serious, Norman.

- What are you doing here?

- I'm in for my six month
lie detector debriefing.

They told me the second floor.

- Will you call security,
tell them as of now

the debriefing rooms have
been moved to the basement

and ask them to stop
sending the geeks up here?

- Same old Carlisle, I
sure hope you don't step

on anything slippery. The
rest of us might kick you

to death when you fall.

- You want to take a hike?
I've got problems here.

- I'm glad to hear it. Couldn't
happen to a nicer guy.

Do something for
your country, Maxwell!

d*uche bag!

- Caste systems exist
in India. Where else?

Parts of tribal Africa, okay?

- Nobody's getting my biz,

I'm getting out of
here while I can.

- Hey, I'm with you Jack
because this aint what's happening.

- Right? And where else?

- Detroit.

- Bahamas, right?

The warriors there
had the Law of Mana

which established
their hierarchy.

- Okay, tomorrow we blow
this dump and hit the streets?

- You got it. You got it.

- I'm playing to an
empty house here, right?

What's going on Tony? Cyler?

- Yeah, right. Tribal
chieftains, right.

Got it Mr. H.

- Okay, alright.

This has been going on
for a couple weeks now.

I'm sitting up here
doing my buck and wing

and you guys are paying
absolutely no attention.

I'm getting very frustrated.

If you don't want
to talk about this,

let's talk about something
that you want to.

Okay? Tony? Cyler?

- Everything is
cool, Mr. H. Go on.

- No I don't want to.
You know I get the feeling

that you and Tony and
a few other people here

are getting ready to
pull the ripcord on me.

Now what's going on here, huh?

Come on, tell me. I can take it.

- Come on Mr. H,
you're talking about India,

Bahamas, tribal Africa. What
does that have to do with us?

- Plenty, Tony. You see
the study of other cultures,

even ones that
don't resemble ours,

help us in
understanding ours better.

- That's a bunch of bull,
man. Our culture is what it is.

It's cops busting kids.

It's this crummy school
playing it's crummy trip on us

and like it or not, we don't
count for nothing around here

or in this crummy
society you're so hot for.

- Oh that's what this is, huh?

Okay, so poor little me?

- No but it's true, Mr. H.
We don't count for nothing.

I mean they got us
cooped up in here

because they say we're not
good enough for regular school.

- Hey hold it, Rhonda. Let's
at least be honest with that.

You guys are here because
you went out of your way

to upset the rest of the school.

You might think that's a bum rap

but that's exactly the reason
why you're in this class.

Now you can deal
with it or shine it on,

but I think we ought to
at least be honest with it.

- See, we've all been talking

and school don't
hold nothing for us.

We ain't cutting it,

so we think we
should just like split.

- Yeah.

- Times a wasting, man.
You gotta get out there,

pick up some points, fast.

- How are you going to
score some points, Paco,

when you can't even
fill out a job application

without misspelling it?

- Hey, we ain't going to be
filling out no job applications,

Mr. H. We're getting in the
leverage business, you know?

Beating the system,
that's where it's at.

- How are you going to
beat the system, Tony?

You going to rip it off?

- Ah, come on. What is that?

- Hey listen, you guys
count! People count!

Okay, so right now
you're having a little bit

of trouble figuring out how
school is supposed to help.

- Look Mr. H, it ain't that
you ain't got a terrific rap,

it's just, it ain't going
down. You know?

- It ain't going down.
Boy, that's terrific!

Cyler, you made my day.

- Hey, you wanted to hear it.

Now you're getting all
upset because we told you.

That's the point, nobody
wants to hear us, case closed.

- No you're wrong, Tony.
I care, I really do. I care.

Alright, would you
let me prove it to you?

Now, I believe there's
room for the individual

in a group society-

- Hey! You ever think
that maybe they put you

in here with us because
you weren't good enough

to handle them
straights out there?

- I want to continue this.
I want to continue this.

I have a rebuttal.
I have a rebuttal

and I want to get the
chance to talk about it.

There's a free period
at 9:30 tomorrow,

will you please come?

- We'll be there, but
maybe for the last time.

The system stinks
and that's no lie.

That's a lie, Bill. Now
why are you lying?

- What lie? What's a lie?

- That's a lie right there.

Now come on, we're
almost through here, Bill.

Let's just try that
question one more time.

- Alright.

- Has anything happened
in the last six months

that is in any way
unusual or that needs

to be referenced here before
giving you your clearance?

Nothing of any earthly nature.

- Oh come on, Bill.
A simple yes or no.

Alright, no.

What's it saying?

- It's saying lie. Now
you know the rules.

Either you pass
this lie detector test

or you're out of bureau.

- Uh, I don't know why
it's doing that Sherm.

I swear I don't know.

I guess I'd better
take the fifth

or this thing is going to
put me in Leavenworth.

- Okay, Bill. I've got
to forward this test

to the bureau chief and
you'll be back in two days

and take a second test.

If you fail to pass that test,

then you'll be discharged
with no benefits.

You're temporarily suspended.

Leave your g*n
and your ID with me.

I'll give you a receipt.

- Sherm, we've been friends
for an awful lot of years-

- Not anymore, I'm
not friendly with people

who flunk this test.

Two days and you better pass it.

Gimme.

- Well you can have the ID

but the g*n is an
issue. It's mine.

- I sure hope you haven't
gone bad, Maxwell.

Maybe it's just temporary?

You know, a phase
kids go through.

- If I could just get them
involved in something

that would hit hard, you know?

Something that would
have a bigger effect on them.

Not just a school play
or a field trip, you know?

Something dramatic,
something that's going to have

a long lasting
effect on these kids.

- Okay, boys and
girls, we've got trouble.

- Not again.

Big trouble.

- Bill, we are just sitting
down to enjoy a nice dinner.

- Oh, you were?

Well in that case, please
don't let 20 years down the drain

of dedicated service interrupt
any of your plans for dinner.

I mean, let's get out
the Iranian caviar,

give the Ayatollah something
to really cheer about.

- Bill, what are you
doing? Your g*n is out!

Would you?

What is wrong with you?

Come one, you
look really, really uh-

- Panicked? Is that the word?

- That's the word.

- Yes, that's it. I flunked.

The bureau polygraph test.

- A lie detector test?

Why on earth are you
taking one of those?

- You have to take one every
six months to keep your badge.

They're looking for sellouts.

- Are you kidding me?

They make you
take a lie detector test

to stay in the F.B.I.?

- I couldn't answer
the last question.

- What was it?

- "Has anything peculiar
or unusual happened to you

in the last six months?"

- You mean you actually
submit to that kind of indignity?

You actually stand still
for that kind of harassment?

- I couldn't tell them
you had the suit, Ralph.

I couldn't tell them
about the spaceship.

I couldn't tell them
about the little green guys.

I tell them that? They stamp
"Tooty Fruity" on my record

and send it straight
to the basement,

phase me out on a medical.

- I can't believe
that our government

would actually stand
still for the harassment

of their own agents.
That's unbelievable.

No wonder recruitment is off.

No wonder no one wants your job.

- I think you may have a
good constitutional lawsuit

here, Bill. Fifth amendment.

- What are you crazy?
Sue the government?

What are you talking about?
I work for the government.

I love this government.
I ain't suing nobody.

Can I have a menu?

- Think that our people
working in the government

have to stand still for
that kind of harassment,

it's unbelievable.

See this is exactly what I
was talking about with the-

- Would you just
please put a lid on that?

It's not the test
that's bugging me.

I happen to agree with the test.

I've seen a lot of guys go bad.

What's bugging me
is I blew it, I flunked

on account of you
and the suit, Ralph.

Can I get some burgers
to go? I'm starving to death.

- They don't serve
those here, Bill.

What are you going to do?

- Not what I'm going to to,
it's what you're doing to do.

You're going to get
me out of this mess.

You're going to bail me
out, now, tonight, right now.

- Oh, alright. Well, um.

Are we missing a piece here?

- I think so, because
I sure don't know

how you're going to fix that.

- Something enormous is
going down at the bureau.

The whole place
is on tumble dry.

- That the piece?

- No.

- Ralph,

breaks into the bureau building,

finds out what's going down

and then you, me, the
councilor and the suit,

solve the case.

- That's the piece.

- And you trade the solution

for the flunked
lie detector test?

Bill, is that kosher?

- You get a grip
on yourself. I'll try.

Ah!

Ah! Oh, No!

Who are you?

- I'm looking for the case
file you're working on.

- Just like that?
You kick in a door?

You want a top
secret security file?

- Just like that.
Is that it there?

- I was through with it, anyway.

- I thought so.

Ah!

- Oh boy, no wonder
they're all bananas

over at the bureau,
and my least favorite fed,

Agent "Hotdog" Carlisle,
is in deep trouble.

He blew it big
at the park today.

Oh, what a shame, poor baby.

- This is all about
Theresa Temarosa,

the Italian importing heiress.

- Last year she meets a
guy named Serg Valenkov,

Russian chauffer with
the Soviet embassy there

and the newlyweds
get into a beef.

Two months ago Serg disappears
and then he gets spotted here

in the United States and
Theresa comes running over

to find him along with a
top Kremlin suicide hit squad

who was trying it
kidnap both of them

and take them back
to Mother Russia.

- And the hits just
keep on coming, ooh.

- Wait a second, it gets better.

Among her personal holdings
are several private islands

in the Mediterranean
that would, get this,

give the Ruskies a m*ssile
base in the Mediterranean,

which they don't got
so far but they want.

- No kidding. How can that be?

They can't do that.

Can they do that?

- You better bet your
funny long johns they can.

If I can find this girl
and her husband,

in one piece before
this red kamikaze squad

and before the bureau,

I can trade myself
right out of that lie tape.

Bing, bang, boom!

- I sort of feel sorry
for them, both of them.

Don't you, Ralph?

- I do. It's like they don't
have anything to say about it.

- All we have to
do is find them.

Old Maxwell's out of the
woods, back in business.

- Uh, Bill? I can't
just look them up

like they're in the
Yellow Pages, you know?

I have to have something
that belongs to them.

Something that
has their vibes on it

and even then you never know.

- Their vibe? What?
I can't find anything.

Come on, get serious.

- Hey Mac, I'm on
your side, remember?

I'm just telling you
how the suit works.

- Well, uh, we're only talking
about my whole career here.

If you can't do it that way

then we've got a
tremendous amount of legwork

and no soldiers,
no troops, to do it.

- This legwork, would
it be dangerous?

- Huh? No, you just go around,
show pictures, ask questions.

You run across
anything, you call it in.

It just takes bodies
and time, that's all.

- Why?

- My kids. The class. We
set up a telephone committee.

Get them to
convene at the school.

- It's a wonderful idea!

- It stinks.

- Bill, they know this area.

We give them
pictures of the guy.

They spread out,
cover a lot of territory.

We can use this place
as a headquarters.

- It stinks.

- I thought perhaps
she'd call you?

Maybe you tell again
where she meet me?

Okay.

I'll be waiting. Thank
you. Thank you.

- Listen up! Listen up!

Yesterday you all told me
you thought there was no room

in society for
individuals, right?

- Damn straight,
Mr. H. Ain't that right?

- Isn't, Tony. Come
on, give me a break

on the grammar, will ya?

- Alright, so what's this
trip for anyway? Come on.

- Alright, let's pile
in the van here.

On the way I'm going to tell
you guys a story, a love story.

About an Italian
heiress named Theresa

and a Russian limousine
driver named Serg

and the way they might
effect the military power

of the world.

- That's what I saw! What
do you want from me, huh?

He flew out the window!

If I'm lying, I'm dying!

- I think Agent Carlisle better
go off the line for a while,

he's not too tightly wrapped.

He really believes that junk.

- I'll check him in
for a full psychiatric.

- It's too bad. I always
thought Carlisle was a comer.

He's never forgotten
my wife's birthday.

- So, what do you think?

- It's really sad. I
mean they fall in love

and then all the forces
that are around them

just try and destroy them.

- Theresa Temarosa
is 28 years old.

- Yeah, she ain't
no bow-wow, either.

- Hey, Mr. H? Mr. H?

- What?

- How come us? I mean
how come we're going

to look for these people?

- Yeah.

- I mean, ain't that
a police problem?

- Police, right.

- We're helping
out Bill Maxwell.

- I ain't going to
help that brass out

by no parade to march in.

Here he is now.

I bet he's got his
g*n and everything.

He's got his badge, big shot.

Alright, let's get it.

Come on, let's go.

Catch some criminals, huh?

- Okay, let's button it up.

I said let's button
up. Freeze it, please!

Okay shut the door,
everybody over against the van.

Line up. Close the door.

Well, well, well. This
is my unit, huh Ralph?

Just what I always
wanted, romper room.

- Hey, Mr. H, this
guy wants our help,

he better learn
how to say please.

- You, on any given day, the
one thing I don't want to hear

is some hubcap stealing shrimp

telling me how to run my unit.

- You got your g*n on you?
- Yeah.

- You going to wave a piece
of iron in my face again?

- Okay, okay. Gee, I'm glad
we got that out in the open.

Tony, Bill, what do you
say we relax a little bit

and see what we can get
accomplished here, huh?

- I like to think
positively, Ralph,

but I don't know.

- You know everything
about finding a missing person,

is that it?

- I don't know spit
about it, Jack, but I know

how to stand my ground.

- Yeah.

Okay, me too, okay.

- What makes you
think you're going

to find this Theresa Temarosa?

- That's a good question, honey.

We're not looking for
Theresa Temarosa.

That's what all the grunts down

at the bureau got psyched in to.

What we're going to do
is look for Serg Valenkov,

that's the husband.
Valenkov, you got that?

Now, these are
photographs of Valenkov.

Take 'em around, ask people.

Remember, we're looking for guy

with an accent could
cut a hole in concrete.

Now if you find
anybody who's seen him,

don't do anything.
Pull back and call in.

Pam's going to be on the phone.

She's running the
command center.

- No she's not, Bill.

- One of the kids? That's silly.

- You are. Pam and I decided.

- Me? I'm the best field
operative in Los Angeles.

What are you talking about?

- This is my class.
I'm responsible

and damn it, I'm
going to call the shots.

Besides, how are we
going to get in touch with you

if we need you, unless
you're by the phone?

If we have any
questions we call you,

you can give us the
correct F.B.I. procedure.

- I hate this Ralph.
Unfortunately, you're right.

Okay, listen up please.

- Alright, everybody in the van.

We'll divvy up into pairs

and I'll drop you off
every three blocks.

- First of all...
Grab a walkie talkie,

they're in the basket.

Come on, let's hustle up.

Come on, we've got a
lot of ground to cover here.

Alright.

- You are having fun.

You love rubbing my
nose in it, don't you?

- Yeah, I do. Stay
by the phone, Bill.

- Hey, Maxwell. If I come
across any chrome spinners,

I'll pick them up
for you, you know?

Put a little fun in your life.

- Every day of
my life I'm looking

for wise-guys, Villicanna.

I'm sure glad I didn't
miss out on you.

You're going to end
up getting me shot.

Him coming right
in that old school

and sh**ting that g*n off.

- Now remember, no heroes.

Anybody shows
any signs of interest,

you get on the walkie
talkie and you call in.

Now, who's out next?

- Miss Davidson, you
want to go with me?

- Sure, Rhonda, okay.

Bye, babe.

- Bye.

- Good luck!

- Be careful

- Go get them.

- Miss Davidson?

What does Mr. H see in you?

Oh, I don't mean
that as an insult.

I mean, you're kind of
pretty and everything.

- Oh.

- I was wondering, that's all.

- I think he likes
who I am, Rhonda.

- You look good in clothes?

- Well see, now I don't
think that has much

to do with anything.

It's more important how I think.

The kind of mental
stimulation I can provide.

And then there's the
physical attractiveness

but that comes first
and last in a relationship.

- You mean that's
more important?

- Oh, no.

I mean, that's what
gets the phone ringing.

It's usually responsible
for the first date.

After that, it enriches
the relationship

but it's not the
most important thing.

At least not in a
long standing one.

- Theresa Temarosa thinks
this Valenkov guy is sexy

because he's
stimulating intellectually?

- I don't know what
she thinks, Rhonda.

I only know what I think.

Now let's get going and see
if we can't find this guy, huh?

- Alright, good luck.

Make sure you check in
every hour on the walkie talkie.

- We is checking like clockwork.

- We are checking
like clockwork.

Please don't use the singular.

You swearing, Cyler?

- Paco, lets's go, let's hit it.

- Alright, we'll catch
you peoples later, alright?

- Hey now, don't
get lost now, right?

- Hey, stay with
the teacher, chum!

- Man, you know that Mr. H
ain't a bad guy, you know?

I ain't gonna use
bad grammar no more

because Mr. H don't got no
better help with us, you know?

We gotta do like
better stuff for him.

- You know ain't nothing
wrong with your grammar

that couldn't be fixed by just
learning English, you know?

Come on, let's go Paco.

- My old man, he's
always saying to me,

"Tony, pick your friends
carefully." You know?

Just like that. In the
meantime he's hanging out

with a bunch of guys who
couldn't open a beer can

without reading the instructions

and I'm probably going
to end up just like them,

a moron, you know?

- If that's what you want,
that's what's going to happen.

Insurance claim, have
you seen this guy?

Talks with a thick accent.

- So what are you
saying that for?

Are you trying to provoke me?

- No, I'm not trying
to provoke you, Tony.

You're trying to provoke me.

You're trying to
get a rise out of me,

you do it all the time and
I'm telling you it's a cheap shot

because whether you
believe it or not, Tony,

I'm your friend.

- Yeah, I know. Sometimes
it comes out, you know,

like a reflex.

- I know that. I really do.

Hey listen, you want to end
up like your father's friends,

that's up to you but there's
no reason why you can't be

anything you want to
be. I believe people count.

Tony, you count.
Rhonda counts. I count.

Bill Maxwell counts.

- I don't know about Maxwell.

- Hey, everybody
counts the same, Tony.

Everybody counts the same.

Don't you get it? You can't
predict what's going to happen.

All you can do is keep
making yourself ready

for the best things.

You've got to aim
high instead of low.

That way when the good
things do come along,

you're better
equipped to cash in.

When the bad things happen,

you're better
equipped to deal with it.

In the end the quality of
your life just keeps improving.

- You believe that?

- Yes, I do.

- Pick your friends
carefully, eh?

Pick your friends carefully.

Alright so maybe
I'll pick a friend.

- Who are you
going to pick, Tony?

- I'll pick you.

- Hey Tony, thank you.

Thank you, I accept.

- Maxwell, command center, go.

- Yeah we're down
here on the corner

where the F.B.I. picked
up Theresa and Serg, right.

Ain't nothing happening
man, what's going on?

Ain't nothing going
on down here.

- Wait a minute, wait a minute.

That ain't no way
to give a report.

Start with your name.

Last name first, middle
name, first name last.

Then location, then your facts,

then stand by for instructions.

- Look buddy,
you're a real fruitcake.

I got nothing here so
far and my instructions

to you are drop dead.

Dog!

- Yeah!

- The man gets on my nerves.

- Switchblade space
cadets, give me a break.

- Hey, what you got?

- There's an F. Valenkov
in the Hollywood directory.

- F, not S?

- Maybe he's a relative?
Brother? Cousin?

Maybe Sergie's hiding out there?

It's only three blocks
away from here.

- Let me give Maxwell a call.

- And tell him what?

- You're right,
it's a long shot.

Let's check it out anyway.

- Hey, I ain't calling him.
You know, I don't like that guy.

He's your friend, you know?

Maybe you ought to
take my old man's advice

and pick your friends
more carefully?

- He's not a bad guy once you
get through the veneer, Tony.

You know while most of us
have been sitting on our tails,

listening to The Beatles and
enjoying decaffeinated coffee,

guys like Maxwell have
been digging in the trenches,

keeping our country safe.

- I should be crying,
I'm so ungrateful Mr. H.

- Sergei, please!

- Frederic.

- Sergei.

- I must go now, Frederic.

It's no good for
you, I found here.

- Where are you going?
When will I see you again?

- A friend of Theresa call
me, set up meeting for us.

I go.

Goodbye, brother.

- Hey there he is Mr. H.
That's him right there.

Hey, you're right Tony, it is.

- Bill! Bill! This is
Ralph, we got him!

He's heading southbound.
Headed downtown.

Two guys in a green
sedan following him.

Looks like a rental
car of some sort.

Hope it's not the
Russian suicide team

you were talking about.

Hey, give us an address.
We'll get over there.

- Clear this channel.

Hey, I want in on this.

- Clear this channel
immediately. This is Maxwell.

Shut up, you bozos!

Geez, save me from amateurs.

Hey, this machine's real neat.

- Shut up, you creeps.
- Hey Cyler,

what are you doing over there?

- Get off this channel!

- Alright, Bill, he's
headed southbound.

Alright he's making
a right on 6th Street.

- What are we going to do?

- I don't know, Rhonda.
Just be ready to call the cops.

I don't know. I've never
done anything like this before.

I'm an attorney. I usually
don't get involved until

after they're caught.

Here they are!

- Out! Out! Get out! Out! Out!

Hey, look at that!
What's going on here?

What are you doing?

- Hey Tony, you stay
here and flag Maxwell.

- What are you going to do?

- I don't know.

There goes another one.

- Okay stay here.

Take this and tell Maxwell
where we are, okay?

- Well what are you gonna do?

- I don't know.

- Never.

Oh what the hell!

Hey, wait a minute. Wait
a minute, I'm not through!

Ow.

Ah!

Run, Pam! Run!

- Stop! Let go or I k*ll!

Let's go.

In, in.

- Miss Temarosa, what
I'm trying to say to you,

and I guess I'm not
making any headway,

is that we are sorry
we lost your husband

but we did lose
one of ours, too.

Point is, and this is for
everybody in the room,

this game is not over yet.

- I will do anything to
get Sergei back, anything!

Look, I will offer
to trade myself.

- Nope, that's out.

- It matters not what
happens if Sergei is k*lled.

- Tony, did you hear that?

- This thing is so sloppy,

they ought to
serve it with a bib.

Come on, kid. I can't
stand it when you do that.

Okay, you messed up.

Well you've got to pull
yourself together, that's all.

- How could I let
that happen? How?

- That's not the point.

The point is, things go bad,
you've got to keep going.

Run a sting op.

- I had him, right-

I gotta get out of here, Bill.

I gotta do something.
I'm just sitting here.

- Well I misjudged this thing.

I figured any half bright
suicide squad is going

to operate on a more covert
scenario but I was wrong.

- Oh, oh, whoa,
whoa, no, no. Let me.

I've done this before.

- Well answer it!

- Mm-hmm. I will.

Yeah? What do you want?

- Da. We have one
of your operatives.

- Yeah.
- A woman.

Also we are having our
countryman, Sergei Valenkov.

We think maybe we should talk.

- Sorry, Boris. You got nothing.

Except a cornball accent.

- We will k*ll both.

- You guys take
the cake for boring.

What's your deal?

- You meet us at
Palmdale Airport.

We have a plane there.

You park at the end of runway.

We make exchange
there, before takeoff.

Two hours.

- What?

- No good. Hanson
Dam, middle of the bridge.

Two hours is okay. One car.

You keep a walkie
talkie close by,

set 1530. That's
1530 megacycles.

Take it, or leave it.

- Take it or leave it?
Are you crazy? What-

- You've got to deal
from strength, Ralph.

This is Rhonda, come in please.

Come in please, this is Rhonda.

- Go ahead, Rhonda.

Is everything still quiet?

Yeah everything's alright

but we still have
a while to wait.

Listen I'm going to
keep this channel open

because Bill's tuned
in on the other one

but I want you to
stay off the air, alright?

- That's a big 10-4,
Mr. H. Over and out.

- That kid's got some
rough edges, alright

but you know if I could
get my hands on him

for a couple of weeks away
from all these bad influences,

I bet I could iron
him out for you.

You like him, huh?

- No I don't like him
Ralph, he's a punk.

I'm just saying he could get
straightened out, that's all.

Will you please stop
making me sound

like a Peace Corps
volunteer all the time?

- There's nothing wrong
with liking Tony, Bill.

There's a lot to like there.

Just have to get past that
c*ck thing that he does.

- Those kids play
you like a fiddle, Ralph.

You've got to remember,
they need a little dose

of the old boot in the
backside once in a while

just to get their
attention span unlocked,

grind their pumps.

- Maybe.

- Okay, okay.
That's them. I think.

Use your holograph thing can
you, and see what they got?

- Excuse me.

- What are you doing? Oh.

They've got a couple
extra guys, I bet.

- Yeah, and one
guy in the trunk.

I think.

- The Russians
are so predictable,

they make you want to laugh.

- Pam and Serg are okay.

- Good.

How do you do? Maxwell here.

Let's get this thing
started and get it over with.

- Start Miss Temarosa
moving on the bridge, please.

We have field glasses.
We must know it is her

before we'll release these two.

- Okay, it looks like
they're not going to try

to ambush us first so
we can get Mrs. Valenkov

on the road. Tell her she's
got to be ready to duck.

- Mrs. Valenkov,
they're ready to see you.

- Do they have Sergei?

- Yes, I saw him,
ma'am. He's alright.

Now when Mr. Maxwell
asks for you to get down,

you must get Serg
and Pam down as well.

- Okay, that's far enough.

It's just a looksie they want.

Let's see ours.

- Go!

- Alright, send them over.
I will send Mrs. Valenkov.

- Not you, Valenkov. Go!

- Go ahead, ma'am.

Where's Mr. Valenkov?

- We are sending your
operative over only.

As you say, take it or leave it.

- That's what you
think, you creep.

Come on, Ralph.
They're almost together.

What's taking you so long?

Oh, boy. We've got to get
you a bigger phone booth.

Remember, stick to the scenario.

Ha ha! Surprise!

- Why are they
still holding Sergei?

- I don't know.

- We must get down now, now!

- Watch him, Serg.

No you don't.

- Now!

- Theresa! Come to me!

- Get back to Maxwell
as soon as you can.

- Go!

- Excuse me!

- Ah!

- Come on, let's go!
- Ralph, no!

- Let go! Okay.

- No, Ralph.

- No, Ralph. Not again!

- Ouch.

- Come on, let's
get out of here.

I've had enough
surprises for one day.

- How did you do that?

- If it confuses you,
how do you think I feel?

- You'd be doing us a very
great favor, Mrs. Valenkov,

if you'd forget what
you saw. You, too, Serg.

- It's a promise.

- Da.

- Ralph, give me a hand.

Villicanna!

- Oh it's a great month,
Maxwell, a great month for wine.

- I can't take my eyes
off you! Gimme that.

- Is that why he likes you?
Because you're a lawyer?

- Oh I don't know, Rhonda.

Maybe that could have
something to do with it.

- I'm glad you're okay.

I'm glad they didn't hurt you.

- Thank you.

- I never figured
brains were sexy

but you know, maybe
that's why I like Mr. H?

- Hello?

Yes this is he. Thank
you, put him on.

Is this Deputy Bureau
Chief Harland King?

Sir, this is Agent Bill Maxwell.

I have a deal I'd like
to talk, are you alone?

- Let's hear it.

- Well I guess you've
heard I failed my lie test?

- Yeah, I got that report.

I would prefer not to
discuss this on the phone.

- I can't help that, sir. I
don't have any choice.

I've been wondering,
would you be willing

to forget the lie test in
exchange for Theresa Temarosa

and her husband, Serg
Valenkov, tonight in an hour?

- You've got Sergei
Valenkov, too?

Who are you kidding Maxwell?

We've got 60 officers on
that, not to mention the C.I.A.

I don't believe one
agent could succeed

where 60 have failed. What
are you trying to pull, Maxwell?

- Well, sir, that's my
deal. I deliver them to you

and you deliver
the lie tape to me

and promise me I never
have to take another one.

- I don't like making these
kind of deals, Maxwell.

- Sir, listen to me.
I'm a good fed.

I don't know why
I failed the lie test

but consider the
rest of my package,

20 years keeping my
nose clean and doing a job

and that I absolutely
will swear to.

- You're crazy, Maxwell.

- Maybe, but I
know I'm a good fed.

All the way to my hair.

- Okay, Maxwell. Get
them in here in an hour

and you got a deal.

- Well Cane I don't really
care whether you like it or not,

that's my deal, that's
it. Take it or leave it.

- What happened? Did he buy it?

- Oh yeah, you just have
to deal with these guys

from strength, that's all.

Okay boys and
girls and delinquents,

Theresa, Serg-

Oh, sorry, Sergei, let's
take a ride downtown.

- One? Cute,
Villicanna, really cute.

Now pop it off of there
before I feed it to you.

- The guy's got no
gratitude. Total zip.

- Ah, man!

- Come on, let's go, let's go!

- Hey Mr. H, maybe
these would look good

on the school van, huh?

- No.

- Okay.

- Uh, maybe we was
wrong about quittin' school,

so maybe we'll stick
around for a while.

- Tony, that's terrific.

You guys just made
it all worth while.