02x08 - Plague

[bunniefuu]

♪ Look at what's
happened to me ♪

♪ I can't believe it myself ♪

♪ Suddenly I'm up
on top of the world ♪

♪ It should have
been somebody else ♪

♪ Believe it or not
I'm walking on air ♪

♪ I never thought I
could feel so free ♪

♪ Flying away on a
wing and a prayer ♪

♪ Who could it be ♪

♪ Believe it or
not it's just me ♪

♪ Just like the
light of a new day ♪

♪ It hit me from
out of the blue ♪

♪ Breaking me out
of the spell I was in ♪

♪ Making all of my
wishes come true ♪

♪ Believe it or not
I'm walking on air ♪

♪ I never thought I
could feel so free ♪

♪ Flying away on a
wing and a prayer ♪

♪ Who could it be ♪

♪ Believe it or
not it's just me ♪

♪ Who could it be ♪

♪ Believe it or
not it's just me ♪♪

The man's name is Harvey Locke.

Now, we don't have
a thick file on this one.

Locke, Harvey. Security guard.

Several as*ault arrests.
Dishonorable discharge from the army.

Pro-w*r agitator.

One misdemeanor arrest...
defacing a Bolshoi Ballet poster.

He's a charter subscriber
to a mercenary newsletter.

Old page-turner Carlisle.

Am I boring you, Maxwell?

Mmm. I'm so relieved.

Mr. Locke was found unconscious in a
wrecked truck near Faultline, California.

He is now in the local medical
facility in stable condition.

In the truck with him...

was a MAC-10-type
submachine g*n, with sil*ncer...

The same type recently
stolen from a federal armory.

This man is our only lead...

to a mercenary, g*n-running
t*rror1st possibility.

I want the rest of those
automatic weapons,

and I want the
people dealing them.

I need a self-reliant,
courageous agent...

who can blend in with that right-wing
fringe and come up with some answers.

Spectacular. Just spectacular.

Now, of course, the
investigating agent...

will come in contact with a number of
people who have been in contact with Locke.

And there's a little
more about that.

Mr. Locke has somehow
managed to contract...

a contagious and
virulent disease.

He's in the Faultline General
Hospital under quarantine.

- What kind of disease?
- Well, they don't know.

It could be Legionnaires', uh,
bubonic, Rocky Mountain spotted fever.

Of course, the agent is gonna be protected
by inoculations... to some degree.

Well, well. Would
you look at this?

The elite of the bureau backed
off by a bug you can't even see.

I don't know what
this outfit's comin' to.

Mr. Carlisle? I want this case.

I like it a lot. I eat
bugs for breakfast.

All right, Maxwell.
Come to my office.

Powder-puff derby.

Why are you doing this, Maxwell?

You trying to get some kind
of a merit badge out of me?

'Cause I'll tell you straight,
as far as I'm concerned...

Never mind the bacteriological angle...
that doesn't rate any brownie points.

Yeah, and you really were up to your
eyeballs in volunteers, weren't you?

Must have been a real difficult decision.
Don't get your nighty in an uproar.

As far as I'm concerned, this is
just another job. What's in that one?

Dengue fever,
plague, black tongue.

Oh, well, with all this stuff, I ought to be
covered for everything but an I.R.S. audit.

You're finally paying off
on a fight? I don't believe it.

That's right. A bet's a bet.

I lost. You won. Yeah,
three months ago. Why now?

Why not?

Oh, sorry.

Thanks, Spiegel.

"Guts out" move, Bill. Huh? Oh.

Well, wasn't much competition.

I was with you
until I realized...

I couldn't hold a cover with those
vigilante tackies you'll be with.

I'm all Ivy League. You can
spot that from the bleachers.

It's the kind of curse you
have to live with, I guess.

So, we haven't always gotten
along, I still admire and respect you.

You're the sinew, the
bowels of the old-line bureau.

Maybe the last.

So long, Sharp. So long, Bill.

Uh. Thanks. I'll see ya.

Okay, girls, gangway.

Take care of yourself.

Watch him! Watch
him! Stick with him!

I got him! I got him!

Hey, man! Stick with him!

Good shot! - All right!

That's a foul! That's a foul!

Get outta here, foul.

You weren't set. That
was defensive charging.

Come on, Tony. I was, too,
set. Let me have that ball.

Oh, man, you fouled him. What are you
doin' now, kissin' up to teacher? Great.

Hey, man, I ain't
kissin' up to nobody.

What I'm doin' is, I'm gettin' sick
and tired of eatin' your elbow, Villicana.

Okay! Way to work out some
tension. Let's play some ball.

What I think, you some kinda
first-class k*ller or somethin', punk?

Hey...

Aw.

Smooth move. Aw, shut up.

You guys happy?

- Nice right hand, Tony.
- Yeah, yeah. I know.

Hey, you know, Mr. H.,
man, I saw the whole thing.

I could testify for ya... or, uh, Tony
or maybe even Cyler, you know.

Uh, my stand is open,
man. I'm takin' bids.

I'm trying to teach you guys
how to reason without force.

Some people, you just can't reason
with. Know what I mean? Yeah.

You all right, Mr. H.?
He hit you really hard.

Thank you,
Rhonda. I'm just fine.

Okay, Villicana, hit the showers.
That's 15 yards for clipping.

I saw the whole shot, Ralph.
That's called aggravated as*ault.

It draws two and a half to five.

You know, Villicana, they got this terrific
youth authority up in the mountains.

They got swings and a
slide and teeter-totters...

and 200 hard-case
morons for you to play with.

My man Maxwell. Just
the other day, I was sayin',

"Where is that great guy, Maxwell?
He hasn't been around enough."

You know? President
of my fan club.

Ralph, can I see you for a second? Don't
go away, kiddo. We got unfinished business.

Boy, he gave you
some shot there, Ralph.

I saw that. You went down like a
sack of meal. I couldn't believe it.

Okay. Now, kid, I'm in trouble.

I need help... a lot of it...
Right now, if not sooner.

"Happiness is a warm p*stol."
That's a nice piece of American trivia.

Isn't that terrible? I
told them, "pistola,"

and they left the
"a" off, the creeps.

All right, now, look. I'm
onto somethin' real big here...

g*n-running, maybe hundreds
of boxes of ammunition.

Maybe grenade launchers, maybe
supersophisticated weaponry... big-time stuff.

You're such a bad liar, Bill. I
am not. I'm a wonderful liar.

Maybe got. Maybe got hundreds of
weapons. Maybe grenade launchers.

Three "maybes" and you're
out, Bill. Well, maybe...

Uh, well, what I wanted to say
was, we found one of the g*ns.

Aw, Bill. "One of
the g*ns." Come on.

Don't you think that's a little
small for a suit-class problem?

Well, uh, maybe I'm holdin'
somethin' back on you here.

I don't like to hit you with a ton of
bricks every time right off the bat.

Gee, that's awful nice of you.
Why don't you give it to me straight,

because I got major plans
with Pam for this weekend.

She was real sick last week, and
we've really been tryin' to get away.

The guy that we got the g*n
from is in Faultline Hospital...

Faultline, California... and it may
be very difficult to get him to talk.

Because he's dead?
He's in quarantine.

He's in quarantine. Gee,
that's a point for my side.

Why is he in quarantine?
Because he's, uh, sick.

That's about as much as
I can give you now, Ralph.

Uh, if you just trust me, I'm tellin'
you, this is a major-league illness.

Bye. Uh,

Maybe plague.

I didn't wanna break this
on you right at the beginning,

all at once and everything,
but the clock is tickin' out there,

and maybe this disease
is gettin' out of hand.

With all due respect to your plans
with the counselor for this weekend,

I think we better get on this thing before
it turns into something we can't handle.

I'm gonna bring the car around. We'll
stop by your house and pack, right?

Right.

Did I say yes? No. Not a chance.

Plague? Plague? I
mean, like, really a plague?

All I know is, a guy's lyin' in the Faultline
Hospital takin' his lunch through a tube.

The doctors up there are panicked,
and we're on a "condition red" alert.

Bill, with a plague,
that's very contagious.

If you come in contact with someone who has
the plague, you, in turn, get the plague.

Well, not always.

Anyway, Maxwells have
always been real healthy.

My uncle never even caught
a cold. I never do either.

So I figure the ol' Maxwell family immune
system ought to hold up pretty good.

But I get colds real easy, Bill.

If Kevin brings a cold home from
school... boom! I got it. I'm sick.

Come on, Ralph.

Get real. You've got the suit.

You're covered.
There's no sweat.

Yeah, but how do I know
the suit's gonna protect me?

I don't know if the space guys
put a plague resister in this suit.

Those are very, very sharp little
intergalactic green guys, Ralph.

You think they'd design a set of
jammies with no immune system?

- Come on. Don't be silly.
- What about you, Bill?

You're not wearin' the suit.
I'd be worried about you.

I knew you were gonna say that.

So I stopped by our medic's
office on the way out of the building,

and took a whole
class-A battery of shots.

I'm okay. I'm plagueproof.

You took a... a series of shots?

Yeah, the whole
panel. Arm's real sore.

Gee, Bill, don't you think it'd be
nice if-if... if you took a moment...

and dropped me by the medic's
so I could have some shots too?

Oh, that's a wonderful idea. I'll
just run you by Carlisle and say,

"Please give my high school
teacher friend some plague shots...

because I'm takin' him with me on
this supersecret government mission."

Ralph, he would cash my
check for me right there.

Yeah, but... I know.
I know how you feel.

I do. Nobody wants his tongue
to swell up and turn black,

throat close up on him, bleeders
in his throat... all throwin' up.

Spinal column goes
into spasm and locks.

You die in a cold sweat.
Nobody wants that.

Those are the symptoms?

Well, uh, yeah, according
to these pamphlets here.

Now, these paramilitary types
love to hang out at g*n ranges.

There's a big one just outside of
Faultline. I checked it in the phone book.

We'll take potluck
and start there.

Remember, we're lookin' for
military haircuts, right-wing politics...

And swollen tongues.

Pull!

Pull!

Ralph, maybe you'd
care to wait in the car.

If you would, I'd understand.

Would you, Bill? Gee,
that's such good news.

Just keep the ol'
sarcasm comin'.

Keep it coming. I love it.

Pull!

Okay. A little black
coffee, please.

Para mí también.

Ever see ol' Harvey Locke up here?
Told me once that he used to sh**t here.

No, I ain't never heard
of no Harvey Locke.

Oh. Where do we check in?

Check in with Smitty
down there on the range.

The guy with the red cap. Okay.

Ah!

Boy, that's hot.
It's a buck, 20.

Buck, 20.

Pull!

Of course, the best
way to stay safe, uh,

is never eat or drink anything
in a contaminated area.

They taught us that in Korea.
Always made good sense to me.

Pull!

Pull!

Pull!

Pull! What'd those two want?

I don't know. Asked me about
some guy I never heard of.

Yeah, no kiddin'? What
guy? Uh, a guy named Locke.

Thanks. It's all right.

Pull!

This is Reo. I'm
at the g*n club.

Someone just
tapped into our line.

Everybody had short haircuts.
Everybody had right-wing politics.

I felt like I was in a
marine corps recruiting line.

You poke around a
little, stir up some dust.

Throw your bread upon the
waters. Maybe you reel in a mackerel.

The first thing we
do is call Carlisle.

- Bill, that's Pam's car.
- What? Are you sure?

- There she is.
- I don't want the counselor in this neighborhood.

This is a possible plague
area. I don't know, Bill.

I told Rhonda to leave
a message with her...

that she was only supposed to
call me here. You told Rhonda that...

You told Rhonda about Faultline?

Ralph, this is a C-1
security. That's C-1.

That is a no-communication
perimeter. No backup.

Silence. Operational
procedure. Doo-dah, doo-dah.

Gotcha. No, no,
don't! I just had coffee.

Counselor, you gotta get
outta here. No ifs or buts. Hi, Bill.

Happiness is a warm puppy.
"A warm p*stol" is obscene.

I know. I told them,
"pistola." They left the "A" off.

Ralph, she's gotta go, right?

Right. You can't stay
here. I am part of this team.

Quite frankly, I resent having to hear
third-hand about what you and Bill are up to.

Third... What are
you talkin', third-hand?

Well, Rodriguez told me that Rhonda
told him that the two of you were up here.

Why don't we put it
on Radio Free Europe?

Pam, this is triple-A security.

Bill, go to your room.
I'll talk to Pam, okay?

Okay. Okay.

I'll go call Carlisle
and the doctor...

and see what kind of contamination
containment we got here.

Good-bye, counselor.

What is wrong with him? I've
never seen him like that. The what?

It's probably a reaction to the
series of shots that he just took.

Series of what? Come
on. Let's go to your room.

Pam, you've got
to get out of here.

Now, I... We were
at the g*n club.

I don't know, but there were probably guys
there that were in contact with Harvey Locke.

- Harvey who?
- He's in quarantine here
at a hospital in Faultline.

- Now, Bill says he thinks
he has the plague.
- The what?

Well, he's all isolated.
Pam, he's all isolated.

I'm bettin' the house that the space
guys put a plague resister in the suit.

But you, you're walkin'
around here unprotected.

What do you mean
there's no answer?

Ralph! Ralph!

Bill!

Oh! Now, Ralph, tell
me what's going on.

Here you are. You're
undressing in front of everybody.

Oh, Ralph!

Phew!

Hi. Uh, have you seen a
blue sedan with a white top?

Hey! This is an emergen...

You watch this. You
won't see any better.

Platoon formation!

"'Ten-shun!"

At ease!

By God, you are the best!

I don't know where this
great country went wrong.

Maybe it was Korea.

When I look at you men, I can see the
heritage of the individual fighting man...

in each and every one of you.

America needs an example...

of what a small band of
brave men can accomplish.

The Greek heroes who held the
pass at Thermopylae were such men.

The men at Valley
Forge were such men.

You are such men.

I am humbled at being
your commander-in-chief.

I salute you.

Dismiss the men.

Platoon dismissed!
Just who are you, mister?

Bureau man, huh? Uncuff him.

You got a real cute bivouac
goin' for you here, don't you?

Yeah, not bad.

A nice spit-and-polish outfit.

Couple of squads,
fully-automatic.

Jump boots and
stat lines. Not bad.

Of course, some of these
guys are a little long in the tooth,

but, uh, I'm sure
they're very fit.

They're fit, they're
brave and they're ready.

Had more men like
that in this country,

we wouldn't be havin' our noses shoved
in the sand by those oil-wealthy sheiks.

All right, Maxwell, William.

What are you doin' at Faultline? Why
you askin' questions about Harvey Locke?

I don't ask questions
twice, mister.

I ask 'em once. If I don't get
good answers, I drop the hammer.

Then you're real stupid, mister.

You waste a fed, and you draw an awful lot
of heat you really don't need right now.

I don't think you're that dumb. You
don't know what's goin' on here, do you?

I mean, you have no
idea what's at stake.

You have no idea how many
people I got backin' me up.

I was bait. We followed
your boy in here.

Yeah, you're surrounded, Sparky.

Your perimeter is six-deep in
National Guard SWAT teams right now.

You're on the scope. You're not
foolin' around with country cops.

This is big-time
federal business.

We'll just see how
big-time. Bring him.

Give us a reading.

Nothing along a
two-mile perimeter, sir.

Nice try, Maxwell, but
you're out here all alone.

Smallpox! So you do know.

Blip on the screen, sir.

About time. Had
me worried there.

It's the smallest
blip I ever saw.

It's our advance stealth unit.

It's off the screen, sir.

Electronic contact
at the fence, sir.

Four miles south
of the main gate.

Activate the perimeter
defense. Go to brown alert.

They're hittin' us
from all sides, sir!

Bring him with us, Reo.

Whoa!

Take off!

- Sergeant! We're evacuating!
- Saddle up! Move!

Move!

You sure you want him
along, sir? I want him!

Holding at 10,000 feet, sir.

All right, mister. I'm
still waitin' for answers.

Well, get comfortable.

I got the silver and a
bronze in world-class silence.

Hang him out!

All right, this is it. Talk. We know
you know about the smallpox.

What else did Harvey tell you?

I'm gonna give you five seconds.

One, two, three, four...

Drop him!

♪ You never know when
you might fly too high ♪

♪ You leave it all behind
and don't know why ♪

♪ Sometimes it only
takes a sad good-bye ♪

♪ To know how bad
you wanna stay ♪

♪ Don't let me
down when I call ♪

♪ 'Cause it's just
too far to fall ♪

♪ And this time I can't
make it on my own ♪♪

Oh!

Thank you, Ralph.

Bill, you all right? What's
wrong with your knees? Fear.

Or I'm drunk.

No, you're not
drunk. Then I'm alive.

Thank you, Ralph.
Thanks very much.

It's okay.

A beetle.

You okay?

But, see, I had already
bit the b*llet, Ralph.

I was dead, and so I
really got to thank you.

Gee, I thought there were some
houses out here somewhere.

I had a lot of close calls, but they
were nothin' but through-holes. Nothin'.

This was uh,
end-of-the-road, belly-up time.

Over the great divide.

I could've sworn there
were houses out here.

Your life doesn't flash on
you, but you get weird thoughts.

I was thinkin' about the little green
guys and where do we go from here.

Bill, here comes a truck. Why don't
you see if you can buy us a ride?

Oh. Uh, yeah. I'm ramblin'
on like I don't know what.

Rambling on like some kind of terrific
guy that's had a mind-boggling experience.

Ralph, listen. Listen. Bill!

You're welcome.
Okay, thanks. Okay.

Uh, sir? What's going on here?

Sir, this is official government business.
We gotta commandeer this vehicle.

It's okay. We're
from the L.A. bureau.

Sounds like you're
getting my cold.

Boy, I hope so.

I hope that's it. My
tongue is really raw.

And it's starting to
swell up a little bit. Huh?

Swollen tongue? Uh-huh.

Every time I say,
"She sells seashells,"

it feels like, uh...
Well, I don't know.

But I'm sure I could say that clearer
and faster about three hours ago, Pam.

Ralph, you think you're getting
smallpox or something, don't you?

Oh, come on, Pam.
No. No, absolutely not.

I don't think I have
anything of the sort.

What do you take me for, some kind of a
hypochondriac or something? Come on.

Okay, open up. It's Free Fall
Maxwell, the famous leaper.

Hi, Bill. Boy, I don't know. This
thing is really startin' to snowball.

Carlisle won't even talk to me.
Gave me a no S.W., no "comcom."

- Whatever that is.
- Security west... no communications command.

It's a lock. There's no radio, no...
no telephone communications.

We gotta get back to L.A.
Something big is goin' down.

Maybe the smallpox is startin'
to spread. He wouldn't tell me.

Bill, look at my tongue. It's
beginning to swell up a bit.

See in the light here, huh? Huh?

Take two aspirin and call
me in the morning. Let's go.

Hey, I don't wanna
worry anybody,

but I think I'm getting some of the
symptoms I read about in that pamphlet.

I'm trying to be brave
about the whole thing, okay?

But I think my tongue's beginning
to swell up, and I have postnasal drip.

You've got the counselor's cold.

And-And you tried to chugalug
steaming hot coffee out at the g*n range.

Ralph, this is the homestretch.

We got a paramilitary cretin
with 20 guys in full combat gear...

flyin' over Southern California
doin' I don't know what.

Maybe we got a... A
k*ller bug loose here.

You can't go tapioca
on me now, Ralph.

You're right. You're
right. I'm sorry.

You're absolutely right. The
coffee I had out there was scalding.

You're right. You're absolutely
right. I don't know what I'm doing.

I'm acting silly. I'm walking around
here like some kind of a dead man.

Counselor, we take my
car. Come back for yours.

"Smallpox is an acute, highly
contagious viral disease...

"initiated by sudden, severe
constitutional symptoms.

"There is no cure, no treatment
and it has a 40% fatality rate.

It can lead to blindness,
loss of hearing..." What?

Loss of hear...

"and red blotches on
the scalp, ears and neck."

Let's see. Uh, here, here.

"The disease is
considered to be extinct.

No cases have been reported
for more than seven years."

Then why were all those guys
inoculated against smallpox?

Does it say anything there about muscle
aches or pains or anything like that?

"Symptoms." Yes. "Sweats, fever and
severe head, neck and spinal aches."

Oh, boy. Hey,
g*ng, I got smallpox.

- Ralph, are you sure?
- Yes, I'm sure! I'm sure.

You think I would make something
like this up? I turn my neck like th...

Pam, I get this incredible ache
down my spine when I turn like this.

Ralph, will you
please cut it out?

Talk about blotches. Look at this
blotch. See this blotch right there?

Where? Right there.
Can you see it?

Oh, my God, Bill.
Maybe it is a little red.

Isn't that about where Villicana
hung the right cross on you, Ralph?

- Yeah.
- Then will you please
cut it out?

I can't keep givin' out
free medical advice...

and drive the car
at the same time.

- Makes my eyes water.
- Yeah.

I'm sorry. I gotta
get my act together.

It happens, okay?
Now we got it straight.

We just have to
keep our act together.

- Right.
- Right.
- Right.

- I mean, what do you mean?
- I mean Harvey Locke died.

He had smallpox. The United Health
Organization is right on top of this.

But this is top security, 'cause
we could panic the whole country.

There isn't enough vaccine to inoculate
Pasadena, never mind the whole United States.

- There'd be rioting.
- Uh! Boy. I'm sure glad
I got my shot when I did.

- What shot?
- Uh, the-the battery of shots
I got this morning right here.

Well, there was no
smallpox among those.

Why would we inoculate an agent against
a disease that's presumed nonexistent?

Mm, you mean I
don't have any, uh...

I've been pokin' around
out there in the, uh...

- And I don't have
any protection of any kind?
- I guess not.

Oh, sh... Okay.

Okay. All right.

Well, I'm not gonna let no
little bug back me off of a case.

Now, um, the ol' Maxwell immune
system is on the ready alert,

and I'm still on this case.

Crack of dawn tomorrow, you're gonna see a man
named Kelly at the United Health Organization.

He's the one who's got the best shot at
evaluating the information we've got so far.

Yes, sir.

I mean, yes, sir.

See, uh, one of
the first symptoms...

Uh... Oh... Aw, never mind.

Sudden sweats.
Oh, boy. Look at that.

- Uh, swollen tongue.
- There.

Peter Piper picked a
peck of pickled peppers.

She sells seashells
by the "she" shore.

I wonder if it gets
numb. No, don't.

He just drank out of that.

Hi, Bill. How's it goin'?

I think it's startin'
to swell up.

Five, four, three, two, one!

It's time, sir. Sergeant!

Attack platoon! Fall in!

Time. Been time, Reo.

A long time comin'.

Our enemies have brought this
great country of ours to its knees.

But we're gonna put a
stop to that. About face!

Men!

We're gonna give these camel
jockeys a dose of God's own medicine.

And when they're
crawlin' on their bellies...

with their swollen tongues
draggin' in the sand,

let 'em try to drink their oil!

Move 'em out. Saddle up!

On the double!

Move! It's a proper way to die.

Sir? It's what a samurai warrior
says before he goes into battle.

You believe in
reincarnation, Reo?

- Haven't thought about it
much, sir.
- I do. I know.

I was with the lord Asano.

I was the chief of his bodyguard.
That was 300 years ago.

I had the privilege of
revenging his death.

Forty-seven of us
committed seppuku.

I struck off the heads
of 46 of my comrades.

I was the last to die.
It was a fine moment.

I'm about to lead these
brave men into deadly battle.

Let's go!

Well, kid, you might as well
know. Harvey Locke just died.

Smallpox? Yeah. They
checked his culture every way.

He had it, all right. Carlisle says there
isn't enough vaccinations available,

and this thing is gonna
spread like wildfire.

The worst-case scenario is
40% of the world could die.

Saint Peter's gonna
have to put on more buses.

- You know I got it, Bill.
- Yeah. Yeah, I know.

- I think I got it too.
- Oh, Bill.

Well, "Peter Piper
picks a peck..."

is easier to say than
"She sells seashells."

But there's a definite slur...

It... It's swelling up
on me. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I can feel it.

You know, Bill, I've
been thinkin' about this.

Now, you can either go out sniveling
and-and whining and acting like a coward,

or you can go out
the other way...

Brave, undaunted, smiling.

You know, I think I'd rather
be the kind of guy that...

That people, when they
think back and remember me,

They say, hey, that guy was
a... was a... was okay, you know?

He didn't snivel or whine.
He was... He was a class act.

Isn't Sixth Street the
next stoplight? Who cares?

You don't have it!
We're dying over here!

You don't know what it
feels like! I don't wanna die!

Oh, brother.

The one thing you've given us is
that all these paramilitary personnel...

had smallpox vaccination
marks on their arms.

Oh, and that this Bunker
was aware of the disease.

That means that
Locke died of smallpox...

because he got a bad
ampule of the vaccine.

He would die quickly because the
virus was injected directly into his veins.

Maybe this thing is containable.

Why would a paramilitary
commander inoculate 20 of his men...

against a disease
that didn't exist?

I don't know. Until yesterday,
it wasn't in existence,

but we do have the virus in quarantine labs
in three locations throughout the world.

Why? Why keep
something as deadly as that?

For study. If another case broke
out, we'd need it to do research.

Is one of these labs with the
viruses in Southern California?

As a matter of fact, yes.
There's one in our lab in Needles.

Well, there's your
answer right there.

This guy Bunker,
he wants that bug.

He's gonna use it against third world
countries... enemies of the United States.

He hates 'em. Put it in their water
supply. Drop it out of an airplane.

He's a dangerous
maniac, this guy.

We gotta stop
him, Bill, somehow.

Doctor Kelly, Ralph and
Bill think that maybe...

they are developing the
symptoms of smallpox.

Yeah, yeah. We-We "think."
We certainly have it, Doctor.

I probably shouldn't even be
sitting here. I should be in quarantine.

Me too. I'm gettin' hot flashes
here, sweats, double vision.

Uh, pulse here is
right up over the top.

- Of cour... You're joking.
- Well, we-we feel we should
keep our sense of humor,

but, uh, certainly,
Doctor, we're not joking.

You were only up there
yesterday afternoon.

The symptoms of smallpox don't
manifest themselves for at least two weeks.

- Two weeks?
- Two weeks?

Feeling better, Bill?

Ralph.

Uh... Well,

we should get back out in the
field then and try and head 'em off.

Yeah. Absolutely. Right now.

How can I help?
Uh, get on the phone.

Call that lab in Needles
and put 'em on a red alert.

That's funny.

Something's wrong.
I can't reach the lab.

The phone lines to
Needles must be out.

Red and Blue choppers,
take the main gate.

We'll go in the back.

Okay. Ralph, I'm gonna stay
on Carlisle, get us some backup.

You go for the virus. Right.

You know where the lab is?
Uh, it's somewhere near Needles.

I'll find it.

This is my
supervisor... Carlisle.

Tell him, "Attack in progress on
the United Health lab in Needles.

Paramilitary group going
after the smallpox virus."

I need some
transportation... airborne.

There's a helicopter
on the roof pad.

I should put in a requisition,
but we won't worry about that.

Mr. Carlisle, please.

The lab's right over that hill.

You're becoming immortal, Reo.

The lab's just over the ridge.

Looks like we got here
first. Yeah. There it is.

You see something? I wish I did.

I got a real bad feeling.

It's too quiet.

Hold it right there! Hands up!

Move.

Well, well. Surprise, surprise.

Still alive.

That's right.
You can't k*ll him.

Oh, boy. That's it. What
happens if it breaks in here?

The lab is airtight. It'd
be contained in this area.

Bunker! Give it up.

The F.B.I. and half of the
military is out there in a minute.

You sang that song
before, Maxwell.

All right. That's it, down!
Over and across the wall.

Back to basic training, babies!

I haven't lost.

There is no death. We know that.

Okay, I'll slip out the back
before the troops get here.

- Where's your gas mask?
- Oh, I don't bother
with that stuff, Carlisle.

Okay, boys and girls. All clear.

Boy, oh, boy.

The bureau gets the
smiley faces on this one.

How'd you do this all
by yourself, Maxwell?

Carlisle, I don't know how you're
gonna be able to write this one up...

so it doesn't get
a commendation.

I can't figure you out. You're a hot dog.
You're a showboat and a rule breaker.

No. I don't break my rules,
Carlisle. I just break yours.

And while I'm all hot with the big brass,
I'm puttin' in for two weeks' vacation.

What do you think of that?

We'll watch a cartoon and
play some gin. Oh, you're cute.

My favorite hypochondriac. Hey.

I was really dyin' there. I
mean, I was all consumed.

Consumed. Yeah. I had a
fever and I had short breath.

Like right now, I'm
consumed with lust.

Don't touch my pieces.

Keep 'em where they belong.

Ah!

How do you like the last day of
your two-week vacation, Bill? Huh?

You did this to me on purpose.

I wouldn't wanna get in
trouble with the top brass.

No, no. You're friends. You
wanted two weeks off. You got 'em.

I don't mind throwin' a
couple of chess games.

"Throwing"?

Do you know how shorthanded
we are at the academy, Bill?

You'd lose your
best agent for spite?

I could sleep nights.

This hasn't been a
bad two weeks, has it?

No classroom, no
kids, no legal briefs.

A chance for some
very insightful dialogue.

I have a feeling we're the only
two people in here who feel that way.

You think so? Mm-hmm.

Ladies and gentlemen, could I
have your attention for just a minute?

I just talked to the state
medical examiner, and he said...

that as long as none of you are having
any manifestations or symptoms of any kind,

he's gonna agree to
end the quarantine.

Ah!

So I should have all of
your releases ready shortly.

But, as you all know, this bug
can start with just a sneeze.

And it takes two
weeks for incubation.

Thank you very much, ladies
and gentlemen, and, uh, good luck.

Your sideburns
are really offensive.

How was your vacation, Bill?

That's not funny.

You two guys spent the whole
two weeks in the audio-visual room...

with the door locked, watching
the same Tom and Jerry cartoon.

We're not dummies out here.
I have to throw gin games,

chess games, mah-jongg,
uh, checkers to Carlisle,

or he starts talking about reassigning
me up to the training academy.

Some vacation.

Might as well have
caught the ol' k*ller microbe.

That's just the
counselor's cold.

It's just a little he-head cold.

Come... Come on.

Let's go watch cartoons.